FFFC - 10/6

angiek1 · October 2017

It's time to let your confessions out!

angiek1 · October 2017

My FFFC - I have been the worst pregnant lady and totally using my "I'm not feeling well" excuse to get out of attending a few events and doing stuff around the house. Since the first trimester was so rough I was pretty lazy and in-active and H was great at giving me a pass on most things. Now that I'm feeling better I need to stop being lazy and get my butt in gear again.

zombiemom1318 · October 2017

I've NEVER been drunk. When I tell people this they think Im crazy lol

lindsye · October 2017

My confession: I am SO READY to be done BFing my 16 month old and I have felt this way after 12 months with all three of my kids (but it is still very much a comfort to him, and I don't want to deprive him of it). And I know this shouldn't be an exciting confession, because it's my body and whatever I feel is what I feel and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. But in our society as mothers it's not enough just to do what's best for your children - your internal desires should also align with what's best for your children even if it conflicts with what's best for you, and if they don't then you are somehow made to feel unmotherly.

*disclaimer: I am definitely not saying that extended BFing is what's best generally or for all children; I just know it's been what's best for each of mine.

BarefootContessa · October 2017

angiek1 said:

My FFFC - I have been the worst pregnant lady and totally using my "I'm not feeling well" excuse to get out of attending a few events and doing stuff around the house. Since the first trimester was so rough I was pretty lazy and in-active and H was great at giving me a pass on most things. Now that I'm feeling better I need to stop being lazy and get my butt in gear again.

+1. Though I haven't really gotten a pass for not feeling well, I'm totally using my first tri exhaustion as an excuse for not traveling out of state to go to my nephew's birthday party this weekend. DH is going solo with the kids.

lindsye · October 2017

@BarefootContessa weekend at the house alone without husband or kids?!?

pghren · October 2017

I convinced DH to call out sick from work today, so we wouldn't have to make the 5 hour drive across the state to my mom's starting after 7pm. I feel like I've corrupted him.

easilydistracted87 · October 2017

My FFFC - It's been hard to get excited about this pregnancy because I've been feeling so sick. I'm a FTM and we are definitely ready and so happy to start a family but some days I just want to have my old body/emotional stability back. I'm afraid that I'm already having an issue with compromising my life and it might get worse when the baby is here and there are even more compromises to make.

Sorry for the Friday downer. Had to call in sick today and just puked up my lunch so these feelings are a little more acute right now!

ladythrice · October 2017

@easilydistracted87 totally common feeling and something I still struggle with... especially the wanting to have my body to myself and have my normal emotional level back.

ladythrice · October 2017

I'm pretty sure DH and I are going to play hooky from work on our anniversary this month. And leave the kids in daycare. And laze about the house and go to the movies. We like livingonthewildside

saralee797-2 · October 2017

You're so wild @ladythrice lol but seriously can I come? That sounds like a great day.

bchalm · October 2017

@ladythrice I literally just asked DH to skip work while DD is in daycare so we can do the same thing. Movies all day.

ngolimento · October 2017

@easilydistracted87 don't feel ashamed of not enjoying pregnancy. It can be excruciatingly hard, physically awful, and comes with a huge invasion of privacy paired with not having ownership of your own body. Very few people have the dreamy "perfect" pregnancy.

In my opinion, enduring all of that, despite hating it, is the mark of true motherhood sacrafice. You are doing something you really don't enjoy and making huge sacrafices of your own body, privacy, and identity for your child.

saralee797-2 · October 2017

I'll be honest. I wanted a baby more than ANYTHING and I went through the hell that is fertility treatments to get this baby but I would be lying if I told you I didn't have days where I was like this totally fucking sucks - I'm sick of being sick and tired and not being able to go out and I would just love my old life, body, glass of wine or three back. I totally get where you are coming from @easilydistracted87 and hugs!

kmalls · October 2017

@easilydistracted87 I'm with you, too. I've even cried with guilt over how little I'm enjoying this pregnancy. We all need to cut ourselves a little slack, though and remind ourselves: the level of enjoyment in pregnancy =/= our love for this baby!

kmalls · October 2017

My FFFC stems from the UO conversation about drive-by posters: I totally make a mental note when someone asks for support/help and then doesn't bother to even acknowledge the replies. If you're posting about something heavy and aren't up to responding, all it takes is a quick "hey ladies, I'm reading all your responses and advice and I'm so thankful for it. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed so it's hard for me to respond right now, but I promise I'll be back soon." I'm thinking specifically of a poster from last week (I think) who's NIPT results were a bit worrying, but it applies to a lot of other people here, too.

Anyway: I remember the screen names and I'm about 99% likely to not give future support if asked. Just have some common courtesy, it's not hard.

jenotontx · October 2017

@kmalls

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/21/w1fsdd6las1x.gif

100% agree.

viggie17 · October 2017

Today I got into work and my coworker frantically messages me, asking me if I can drop everything and work on a project right now. I am pregnant and moody and get irritated, because he does this quite frequently, and ask him to set up a meeting this afternoon. He says it's way too urgent for that, so, I agree to meet with him at 11. A thirty minute meeting turns into a 2 hour meeting when I realize the model is incorrect and needs to be fixed, but I must explain this to him like, 15 times. So, now, the model has been semi-corrected after I finally got off the phone, (probably as much as it's going to get fixed today, it's a pretty complicated issue) and I have yet to tell this coworker because I am dreading being on the phone for another 2 hours explaining myself and getting interrupted every other sentence (yes, it's that bad)

saisongbird · October 2017

@saralee797-2 and @easilydistracted87 - I'm right there with you. I had the fairly easy unicorn pregnancy within DD and between running after a toddler and the increased hormones that come with an IVF baby, I am hating this pregnancy and somewhat regretting everything. I'm just so tired of feeling like crap all the time, and while MH is supportive I still don't think he gets it.

saisongbird · October 2017

Mine is that I had mad stretch marks at the end of my pregnancy with DD because my belly expanded so fast in third tri. They faded, but as I'm getting big so early this time I see them coming back and they make me want to cry. I don't care if they're my "war paint" - I hate them and wish they would go away.

viggie17 · October 2017

@kmalls I'm impressed you can remember screen names so well... I am terrible. I think adding a picture helps (even if it's small or like yours- just not the generic ones) I am probably a person who may not always respond... I guess I didn't think much of it, but I don't think I ask many one off questions either.

itsrandiyo · October 2017

ladythrice YESSSS, I feel like all parents should do this lol

beach_mama · October 2017

@saisongbird i didn't get many stretch marks w my girls but i can relate in terms of body image issues. I lost over 20lbs and worked my ass off for abs and its hard seeing them gone. I hate hating my body and i hate feeling this way. I am thrilled to be expecting again and i know this comes w the territory...but i miss my body.

angiek1 · October 2017

kmalls said:

My FFFC stems from the UO conversation about drive-by posters: I totally make a mental note when someone asks for support/help and then doesn't bother to even acknowledge the replies. If you're posting about something heavy and aren't up to responding, all it takes is a quick "hey ladies, I'm reading all your responses and advice and I'm so thankful for it. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed so it's hard for me to respond right now, but I promise I'll be back soon." I'm thinking specifically of a poster from last week (I think) who's NIPT results were a bit worrying, but it applies to a lot of other people here, too.

Anyway: I remember the screen names and I'm about 99% likely to not give future support if asked. Just have some common courtesy, it's not hard.

I have to agree. I think it is crappy when people totally ghost their post. I mean it doesn't take much to say thank you.

ngolimento · October 2017

I don't know if this is FFFC worthy, but I am just at 13 weeks, and have officially done the transition over to maternity pants. I feel pretty embarrassed about it. I know that I get a huge belly, and I did last time, but it just makes me feel really self-concious, and I pray nobody asks me how far along I am.

whatabout2ndbreakfast · October 2017

I kinda enjoy being pregnant - especially now that the nausea has gone away. But that might be the initial second trimester high talking.

Dumbgurl04 · October 2017

you could always tell them you are somewhere between 1 and 9 months along @ngolimento

danjoly · October 2017

@easilydistracted87 first trimester is hard!! I'm having a easier time with this pregnancy because I know there's a end in sight! (I also know what other unpleasant thing will come but I won't talk about it yet

) your feelings are totally legit and don't hesitate to talk about them either with your partner, a close friend or even a therapist. From what I've seen with my previous bmb is that the women who were struggling during pregnancy with their mixed feelings but didn't acknowledge it or take measured were more likely to suffer from PPD/PPA from the shock of all the major changes that comes. That being said, I'm not saying not enjoying first tri will give you PPD!!! Hang in there!

kaymaroo · October 2017

@easilydistracted87 I hate being pregnant. I hated it with my first and I hate it even more now. How you feel about having your body taken over by this, feeling awful and uncomfortable, is no indication of how you will feel about motherhood. It's hard to enjoy something that is making you physically miserable and while motherhood can be tough, at least you get to feel like your normal self while you're doing it.

As excited as I am about this baby, and as much as I wanted to get pregnant, I live for the day the baby is born and I can say buh-bye to being pregnant.

kaymaroo · October 2017

Ready for a super lame confession? All I'm craving this pregnancy is fruits and vegetables. Literally nothing else sounds good right now. As a result I've lost weight (which is good since I was overweight to begin with). While this is undeniably awesome, the confession part is that I've always scoffed at women who said things like this because I thought they were being smug and basically lying or, like, putting out there that they were better than everyone else (my first pregnancy all I craved was potato salad, red meat, and popsicles). Now I'm here and realize it's honestly just what my body is doing on its own and I feel bad for being so judgy before.

geojaminee · October 2017

Me confession: I hate how "organized" the board is. The weekly randoms, weekly questions, weekly whatever. Those threads get so big I don't feel like I can commit to reading them by the time I find them. I really do prefer a board where we just post a thread talking about a single topic and the entire first and even part of the second page are all very active threads. I hate coming on here and seeing half way down the first page that the last comment was 3 days ago. Maybe this is an UO, but that's my FFFC for today.

sparklingdiamond · October 2017

@viggie17 Same here. I recognize some SNs, but can't remember whether some have posted before or not.

I guess I am the rare one who truly enjoys being pregnant (not saying you ladies don't ever appreciate it). I love the experience, but I am also lucky and didn't throw up with my first pregnancy or with this one *knock on wood*

sunshinedays-2 · October 2017

@easilydistracted87 I think you definitely hit on a shared sentiment with your FFFC. I recently admitted to a friend how guilty I was feeling over how much I dislike being pregnant. **TW Loss Mentioned** After going through two losses before I felt like I should be walking on air with every bout of MS now that I am finally having what looks like will finally be our rainbow baby. **End TW** But trying to pretend I wasn’t feeling the way I actually was (which was tired and exhausted and missing my pre-pregnancy self) was actually causing me to feel more guilt and shame. When I finally started being honest with myself and recognizing that it is ok to feel this way I feel like I got to a much better place mentally. I’ve found that talking those I’m close to make it easier to process. I hope you find some comfort from other comments like this on the thread!

Sorry for the long post, it was so nice to hear from others who are also feeling this way and I wanted to chime in with words of support and community.

easilydistracted87 · October 2017

Thank you so much @ladythrice @ngolimento @saralee797-2 @kmalls @saisongbird @danjoly @kaymaroo
I love this community and it is so helpful to say these things and hear that I'm not alone or necessarily a terrible person(which is the echo chamber inside my head).
Thank you for the helpful words and advice.

saisongbird · October 2017

@bagowater I'm with you. I hate it. I hate the random thread and the weekly questions thread and I wish some of us end of the monthers had had a bigger say in the setup. The board feels very dead to me because I do 't want to hunt through a super long thread for whatever is being talked about. And - I like the random knotties who are starting their own threads and breaking the setup.

lund · October 2017

@saisongbird @bagowater I suggest you check out yesterday's UO thread.

kmalls · October 2017

And around and around and around we go...

saisongbird · October 2017

@lund I just saw it. She commented. I replied. I'm not a drive by, and it is what it is.

kmalls · October 2017

Serious question, no snark behind it: for those who hate our board so much (and the board organization is a TB-wide thing, not just our month), why do you stay? There are dozens of other communities, surely one of them must be set up to your liking?

lund · October 2017

saisongbird said:

@lund I just saw it. She commented. I replied. I'm not a drive by, and it is what it is.

LOL, I'm not saying you're a drive by. I'm saying we've already discussed this ad nauseam

irenejean · October 2017

@lund And why does it matter?

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