Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: TTCAL Check-In Week of 9/4
2) CD7 and this will be our first time TTC coming up after our first miscarriage in July-- a little nervous, but trying to be hopeful.
3) Had a day off today-- read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for a bit and took a little nap. Going camping this weekend which will be a nice break.
4) Pepperoni or Supreme-- love stuffed crust.
Mack2342 Thank you for the links!
MooFish2364 Ugh… bitter hag get together for brownies? HA. Or maybe that’s just AF talking…
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Rave - Just came back from one of the best getaways this summer. DH and I got away to a little island off the coast of Vancouver where we biked, beached and relaxed. We saw humpback whales from our breakfast table and skinny dipped in the ocean, it was amazing!
Rant - DH is considering a boys trip to Peru for biking. There's 10 of them going and I know he really wants to join. I'm a bit worried about zika as they say partners should wait 6 months to TTC after returning but he feels it's not a big deal as chances are slim
Love love love mushroom and pineapple pizza on a thick crust. I also love spinach, garlic and feta on pizzas. And BBQ chicken pizza. Pretty sure I just love everything on pizza!
@Mack2342 I don't think I'm too far behind you, turning 41 in October
@mrsjcrane I often wonder what our minds are trying to tell us about dreams. I just dreamt I had a third mc (I've had 2) and of course I now think of it as a sign that I'm doomed for another one.
@pumpkinpancake We've got falling ash up here in Canada as well and smoky skies. So gross
@katie121209 stay safe!
@mackorori - I'm joining you in a few weeks at 41. ugh.
2. Status? 2DPO according to FF
3. R/R? DH and I made up-ish. We had sex three times one and two days before ovulation, so I'm hoping that I can get a BFP. I am still going to counseling for myself and scheduled that appt for Tuesday.
4. GTKY: When you order a pizza, what are your go-to toppings? bacon and pepperoni
@aga31 Welcome! I am finding myself questioning the universe as well. I swear everywhere I turn people are getting accidentally pregnant with no problems.
GeekBeagle Yay for counselling! It has helped me tremendously with my multiple losses! Also, if you don't like your therapist, please feel free to switch. The first therapist I saw was a total sham and waste of my time and we did not connect at all. The second therapist I saw and am in love with. She totally gets me and my situation and is super helpful!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1
@GeekBeagle glad you two kind of made up at least enough to do the deed. I agree find another counselor if this one isn't a good fit.
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
Also im a therapist so I totally agree on working to find the right fit. One of the other doctors in our office just mentioned she's starting a MC support group so maybe there are some things like that in your area.
1. Introduce yourself (if you're new) Newish
2. Status? 1st cycle after loss. In TWW.
3. R/R? We spent Labor Day with friends and swimming. One of the ladies is pregnant, about a month behind where I should be. She is already started to show and it hurt to see. And of course all the girls were talking about her pregnancy. So I went and found a pool noodle and floated by myself for awhile.
4. GTKY: When you order a pizza, what are your go-to toppings? I love chicken, artichokes, and arugula.
@MooFish2364 where are you at in MI? I may have asked before but can't remember. I'm from MI but in OH now
*TW*
Hello ladies. I'm brand new hopping over from the APR '18 board. I was going to make an intro post, but I saw this and decided to post here instead. I'm fairly young, mid 20's, but since I'm military I'm trying to have a family when my career lets me. My SO is also military so it is hard TTC with our varying schedules, schools and field exercises. There are many months where I am benched because of it. I just recently suffered my second loss last week at 6+2. My first one was in APR. I have one DD from a past encounter (SA). This baby would have been my first with my SO.
*end TW*
2. Status?
I am currently waiting for my cycle to start tracking.
3. R/R?
You all seem like a lovely and supportive group of ladies.
4. GTKY: When you order a pizza, what are your go-to toppings?
My favorite pizza is the chicken bacon artichoke one from Papa Murphy's. I will usually swap the chicken with pepperoni.
@vlagrl29 Even though it can change on a weekly basis, I'm glad you are in a better place mentally/emotionally overall
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
3 days into my TWW after having a FET
3. R/R? I am currently on bed rest but anxious to get back to normal activities! I was cooped up the past two weeks due to the Hurricane Harvey mess, so I am so done with being inside the house
4. GTKY: When you order a pizza, what are your go-to toppings? Just beef or just pepperoni. I am dull when it comes to toppings
*TW*
hello ladies.
I am new. I recently had a natural miscarriage about 8 weeks ago at 10 weeks. It was my first loss. It was heartbreaking and I'm afraid I may be going brought a bit of depression now. I'm just not myself, you know? Like I can't figure out which way is up. Trouble sleeping. Still crying randomly
*end of TW*
I know there are a lot of rules about what to say and not say on this board. I want to apologize in advance if I miss something. I don't want to cause any undo hurt. I just really need somewhere to find community and understanding. I don't feel like I can talk to many people about this IRL.
2. This is what's confusing me right now. I had my first period 4weeks post MC. I am now 5 days late for my second post MC period, but all the HPT have been negative. What gives?
Has anyone had had an experience like this? Is it just a fluctuation in my cycle from the hormones from the loss? I wish it would just be one or the other. How can it be neither?
3. R/R?
this hurricane has all the gas station lined up and grocery stores picked over. FX for work to close tomorrow.
4. GTKY: When you order a pizza, what are your go-to toppings?
veggies on thin crust! Must have the thin crust! I love the crunch over the chewiness of traditional pizza dough.
I take it you are in Florida. Be safe.
I didn't know my cycle would be off. That makes sense though.
I've always got my AF like clock work. I guess I just figured that once it did come back, it'd be normal after that.
I'm actually in Alabama. Not far off the projected path of the eye for tomorrow.
My work did just e-mail they they are closing tomorrow. Glad I'll get to be home with my daughters during the storm.
Stay safe!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months.
FET #1: June 3, 2024 (failed)
Lupron Depo June 2024. Benched 3 months again before next FET.
FET #2: September 2024 (failed)
FET #3: December 2024 (failed)
#BitterHagPartyOf1