Quick question for STMs who planned for an unmedicated birth: What resources did you find most helpful?
1.) knowing the pain of a failed epi and that the chances of a repeat were huge. I didn't have that temptation in my mind because it didn't exist. Nothing I experienced in the unmediated delivery was as bad as the epi. 2.) our hospital is a small one and likes to minimize intervention to minimize risk. The childbirth prep class taught lots of breathing and massage techniques. 3.) I bounced on a yoga ball. All the time. I think that helped my hips get into the right position
Quick question for STMs who planned for an unmedicated birth: What resources did you find most helpful?
For me honestly the idea of that giant needle going into my spine was enough to keep me from wanting an epi, plus the chance of those spinal headaches or the epi not even taking. Wasn't even a question in my mind. Also just knowing how many billions of women have given birth thousands of years before us with NO medications. They were my inspiration. Plus my mom gave birth to 3 babies with no meds (and 3 with meds and she said no meds was way better in her experience) so I wanted to be just as BA as my mom. There was no point in my labor (back labor that had me vomiting from the pain with every contraction for 15hrs) that I even debated an epi. I think this time will be even easier knowing once the baby is out the pain is gone. Like instantly. Sure my vag hurt from tearing and there was lingering menstrual type cramping when nursing as the uterus cramped down (totally normal), but it was absolutely nothing after going through labor.
Honestly stuff like this drives me nuts. If you don't want pain medication that's fine with me, but don't tell me that I'm not equally "badass" because I chose to get an epidural each of the three times I gave birth. Undergoing the process of growing a life for 10 months in your body and then delivering *however* you choose to or need to deliver makes you a badass. It just does.
Childbirth is not some sort of fraternity hazing initiation or extreme reality show - it is just the first day of a life-long journey of parenthood. I am happy for everyone to have exactly the birth experience they want, but please, let's not start this nonsense of implying (or stating outright) that others are inferior for making a different decision.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. Like I said I'm terrified of the needle so all the epi moms got that on me! And me saying my mom was BA I did not mean to imply that other means of having a baby are inferior. I obviously look up to my mom for more then one reason and it just happens to be one of the reasons why. Having a baby is having a baby. It's hard work whether it's unmedicated, epi, laughing gas, or c/s. I agree 100%. So I do apologize if my working came off offensive. That was by no means my intent and respect everyones decision to choose what works for them.
DH(27) + Me (27) = 1/14 Baby #1: Aug. 2016 Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
@dirtyboots I didn't think you meant to offend. I appreciate you saying that, though, because it is an amazing accomplishment and I'd hate for anyone to feel like it's less significant or less amazing if they choose to be medicated or have to be medicated by necessity (c section, etc). Here's to all women who go through this amazing and amazingly difficult process, both before and after the baby is born!
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Yeah, it's dangerous to say that some women are more inspirational than others, just over an epidural. I personally fought against a total of 72 hours of labor (only 10 of those with an epi). If anyone wants to start a badass contest over the issue, I would laugh in the face of a person who said I am a whimp or a quitter. Sure, you can consider yourself amazeballs for going pain-med free through a nice quick labor, but try it for literally days.
If I get a quick labor this go-around, I will be able to go epi-free. But if I am stalled for literally days again, I will do an epi, and feel good about it.
@ngolimento I was afraid to get an epidural the first time because I didn't know how my body would respond to it and was afraid of the possibility of negative effects on my baby. But it has actually helped my body relax and progress significantly each time I've gotten one and all my babies have come out completely alert and able to nurse immediately. This pregnancy I plan to ask for one toward at least the first half of labor and feel that it is the logical and best choice (for my body). If that makes me a wimp to others, I am ok with it.
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A). What was your birth plan? Specific avoidances or needs?
My plan wasn't specific. It was to goin open Minded. I wasn't set on an epi but told my provider I wasn't opposed should I feel I need it. I wanted skin to skin and to breastfeed sooner rather than later. Mostly just healthy mom and baby and I'd be happy.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
I labored at home 15 hours with consistent contractions. When I felt ready I headed in. I was progressing quickly and let the anathesiologist that I'd sign the papers for the epi but wasn't 100% if I wanted it since I felt ok. My water broke on its own around 7cm (I think) and I got very overwhelmed. I got the epi at that point and could still feel my contractions pretty strongly. They gave a couple more doses I think. I had a hard time pushing DD out and I know I should know but I think they ended up cutting. I got stitches so it could have been a combo. I honestly didn't care at that point, I had a baby on me and I was happy with my experience. The doctors respected my wishes and helped me through it all.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time?
i did a bit of research just so I was informed. I honestly learn a lot through the community and your own experiences to know what to think about. I plan to keep informed and stay open minded again.
I did get an epi but that was only after 50+ hour of labor. Breathing and trying to relax is what helped me the most. I also sat on an exercise ball which helped a little. It really is a mental game I was doing great until I face a third night of no sleep. Honestly I am glad I got the epidural because that meant I got a few hours of rest before I had to push. However when the nurses said my baby was in distress and the epidural would help him I didnt argue and did what was best for baby. So if you choose medicated or unmedicated just remember let's get this baby here any way we can. Don't feel bad if you need an epidural or need a c-section, it doesn't make you any less of a person. The most important thing is you have your baby in your hands.
A). What was your birth plan? Specific avoidances or needs? #1. My
birth plan was to have a minimal
intervention hospital birth. I wanted to labor at home as long as
possible then go to the hospital and finish laboring while walking, ball-sitting, showering, bathing, etc. I was not opposed to an EPI, I figured I'd go with the flow. Post-partum was important to me, immediate skin-to-skin and breastfeeding at delivery were my number one needs. #2. Give it my damnedest to get a VBAC. Stay home to labor, avoid an epi (among other interventions) as long as possible. If I ended with a repeat C/S, get a family friendly C/S experience.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? #1. Nope not at all. My water broke at home (7pm Friday night) and I called the hospital and they told me to come in. I showered and showed up at the hospital (mistake). Labor was not active, I was having mild cramping, that's it. They gave me 45 minutes for labor to start (mistake). When it didn't, they hooked me up to pitocin and proceeded to increase my dosage every 15 minutes (mistake). I asked for an epi early (mistake) because I went from zero to 100mph with my contractions. Labor stalled, C/S was called, my son was born at 5:26pm (less than 24 hours after my water broke--too rushed). I did not get skin-to-skin and I couldn't even hold my son for his first latch because of the meds I was given during my C/S.
#2. Yes. It was amazing. Labor started naturally so I stayed at home as long as I could stand it (16 hours ish). I showed up at the hospital around 3 am certain I was 5+ cm. Thanks to a LEEP (@kbamomma33 solidarity sister) that F'er was only a 3. I got to do my walking, hot-tubbing, groaning and moaning, bouncing on a ball for about six more hours. The on-call OB recommended getting an epi and I, practically frothing at the mouth, said, "NO, I DON'T WANT LABOR TO STALL, IT DID BEFORE." rawr! lol. He patted me on the back, pointed to the monitors and my mom and DH and said, "this train has left the station. Labor will not stop, I promise you. I'll be back in an hour." He came back, offered the EPI again and told me there's not way my labor would stop at this point, we were just working on breaking scar tissue. I ordered my EPI, life was great, I slept for an hour or so, then the team had me up and moving into labor positions (YES YOU CAN DO THIS WITH AN EPI!!!). Right when my team was ready to call a C/S my scar tissue finally tore through. My body progressed from a 5 to a 10 in 30 minutes. My EPI decided now was a good time to let me feel my body again, I panicked at the pain and asked for a C/S (lolz...), and my beautiful baby girl pooped into this world.
I just want to go on the record as saying: I. love. epidurals. I think they were God's gift to womankind.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I did a little bit the first time around. I was interested in a med-free birth but more interested in going until I couldn't handle it and getting all the meds if I couldn't go further lol. As a result I didn't do much research. I did a more the second time around because I wanted a VBAC.
The biggest difference the second time around was knowing my non-negotiables (pending health of everyone): 1. Labor at home as long as freaking possible. 2. Delay the EPI as long as possible. 3. If VBAC fails, then skin-to-skin and breastfeeding in the OR.
I probably won't do more research this time around. It just freaks me out at this point. I'm going for a VBAC again. I'm nervous because if I fail, it will be more of an emotional and psychological blow than if I had failed with #2. The odds are in my favor. I'm just planning on rolling with my body. "I was MADE for this."
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
A). What was your birth plan? Specific avoidances or needs? Mine wasn't what I wanted from the beginning, but I at least went into it knowing that and was able to come up with a reasonable plan. My daughter was footling breech and tied up in her cord. She just wasn't budging at all. Like didn't change position significantly the last 12 weeks. We gave her till her EDD and then had a scheduled c-section on her EDD. I did have a written birth plan for it. At the time (this was 5 years ago) the hospital I delivered at required my arms be strapped down, and skin to skin and such was not a possibility, and I knew that going in. In my plan was for my husband to be with her at all times, no formula/sugar water unless absolutely medically necessary, delay bath till I could be there, and no one else gets to see/hold her besides my husband/nurses till I did. I also wanted her brought to me in recovery which at the time was also not allowed. With my second it was the same except I was able to request to keep my arms unstrapped and request her in recovery reasonably.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
With my first, I got everything I wanted. I got her back to nurse in recovery (despite it being against regulations) within an hour of her being born. I honestly was okay with everything. Even having to miss out on early skin to skin, but I think a big part of that is because once I knew that she was tied up in her cord and not budging, I knew there wasn't another option to keep her safe. I had time to prepare. I've always felt bad for the moms that didn't get that. It would be a huge shock to have to process the change from a natural birth to a c-section in hours or even minutes. I had a few weeks to come to terms with it.
With my second we waited until day before her EDD (EDD was on a Saturday) like I wanted. I didn't have my arms strapped down. I didn't get her back as quickly as my first. I was actually out of recovery and back in my room before I got her. Part of that though was because my spinal wore off during surgery, so I was in recovery about 30 seconds since I could already wiggle my toes before I got there. She was having trouble regulating temp though so they kept her in a warmer for a bit. Finally the nurse got the bright idea to bring her to me for skin-to-skin, and she was perfectly fine after that. I also went ahead and gave them permission to take my second for a bath where it was warmer (instead of doing it in room like my first). I wanted to keep her warm and to be entirely honest I was exhausted from the fairly traumatic surgery and crazy amount of IV meds they had to give me to keep me awake after the spinal wore off Overall though it was fine. I have two beautiful, healthy girls
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I spent some time thinking about what I really wanted and what I could live without in those last few weeks once I knew a c-section was likely. They did an exercise with us at my childbirth class back then that I thought was really helpful. They had us write down the 10 most important things that we wanted in a birthing experience. Then they told us oops you can't have 5 of those so cross out 5. Then oops you lost 2 more and had us cross out two more. It really made me focus on the 3 most important things which for me at the time I think was a healthy baby, getting to breastfeed, and getting time alone with my baby/husband before the rest of the extended family became involved. I plan to pretty much print out the last one I came up with and hope for the best this time. I'm delivering at a different hospital, so I might actually get skin-to-skin in the OR this time which would be awesome if possible.
Quote trim...They had us write down the 10 most important things that we wanted in a birthing experience. Then they told us oops you can't have 5 of those so cross out 5. Then oops you lost 2 more and had us cross out two more. It really made me focus on the 3 most important things which for me at the time I think was a healthy baby, getting to breastfeed, and getting time alone with my baby/husband before the rest of the extended family became involved. I plan to pretty much print out the last one I came up with and hope for the best this time. I'm delivering at a different hospital, so I might actually get skin-to-skin in the OR this time which would be awesome if possible.
@sunshinedays-2 I wanted to try an unmedicated birth so I took the Hypnobabies homestudy course (they have some live courses too but I liked the flexibility of doing it at home). You listen to these 30 minute meditations to help prepare your mind for labor to really relax through the pain/anxiety/tension. It sounds kinda woo and out there, which isn't normally me, but I do like yoga and try to meditate, so I thought it couldn't hurt.
Anyway, I was pretty diligent about doing it during my third tri and it worked GREAT for me. I was so calm during labor my husband and mom thought I was sleeping through transition. I would wake up and vomit and go back to lying very quietly on the floor, haha. I still felt each contraction but was able to deal with them by going deep inside myself - it's hard to describe but I was very internally-focused the entire time.
Then I sort of "woke up" out of they hypnosis because I felt crazy pressure and needed to push. We rushed to the hospital and she was born less than 15 minutes later. No monitoring or IV or anything - there was no time. It was a little crazy and this time we'll try to leave earlier since I almost had a baby in the car - but I'm DEFINITELY using the tapes again.
**Edit to add: I think Hypnobirthing is more popular, and maybe that works great too, but I was told Hypnobabies is way better since they actually give you the audio files to keep. But maybe the other class does too now, I don't know.
One of my best friends swears by Hypnobabies. I've heard so many good things about it that while I really have no goals for a med-free, completely intervention-free, birth, I'm tempted to do it just to have the coping mechanisms in my hip pocket.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
I hear a lot of you saying labor at home as long as possible.... how do you know when to call it?
for me it was a gut feeling. I had timed my contractions using an app the entire day. I just felt ready (plus we had a 45 min drive into Boston) Of course I didn't feel ready until it was rush hour on a red sox game night. I labored at home 16 hours and had DD 6 hours after arriving at the hospital. My water broke within a couple hours of being there and i'm glad it didn't happen at home.
I hear a lot of you saying labor at home as long as possible.... how do you know when to call it?
This is a good question and one that I think is kind of terrifying to think about... unless you are actually in labor lol. Then intuition and gut feeling take over. When labor kicks in you start timing your contractions. Wherever you are delivering will likely have a rule of thumb for showing up. For me I did contractions lasting for about 45 seconds to a minute occurring every 3-5 minutes.
My contractions with my second started at 11 am, became time-able at 1 pm, and got to 3-5 minutes a part by about 3 am the next morning. I was certain I was going to be 5cm+ because of how long I had labored and how close/regular my contractions were (every 3 minutes by the time we arrived) but alas I was only 3cm dilated. So, that means that despite having labored for 14-16 hours and being within the report window, I wasn't ready for delivery. That being said, some women have wicked fast labors and could have shown up at the hospital when I did and been a 9!
Key takeaway: find out what your delivery location recommends and when the time comes, get a contraction timer app for your phone!
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
I hear a lot of you saying labor at home as long as possible.... how do you know when to call it?
When I was a FTM, I haaaated it when people said "you just know.". But sadly it's true . Active labor is way different than the preliminary stuff. Preliminary labor is "oh goodie! Maybe this is it! I think I will use a contraction timer while I Netflix!"
Active labor is "Oh god, I think I'm going to puke. Why did I do this?!"
A). What was your birth plan? Specific avoidances or needs? I wanted an unmediated birth with as little intervention as possible. When she was born, I wanted to do skin to skin right away, nurse as soon as possible, and delay cord clamping
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? Yes! I went into labor the night before her due date and I labored at home all night. I finally went in at around 8am. By the time I went in I was already 8cm. I had NO idea I had progressed that far. Apparently my tolerance for pain is abnormally high haha. My water broke the second I stepped foot into the delivery room, and she was born a little after 11am. I had some tiny bilateral tearing, and my midwife had me catch her, which was pretty amazing. C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I'll do a bit of research, just to see if there have been updates or changes in recommendations in the past 5 years. I'm going to a birthing center this time around, rather than the hospital. And I probably won't labor at home as long as I did the first time since I apparently can't tell when I'm in active labor.
@saralee797-2 I had Braxton Hicks starting at 28 weeks every freaking day, but then one night at 34 weeks it felt different and I knew it deep down it wasn't normal. We went in and turned out I was in premature labor. Thankfully they were able to give me the shot for the baby's lungs and stop my labor but I could tell it wasn't normal end of pregnancy contractions. I ended up being induced at 37 weeks for medical reasons so I didn't experienced the whole labor at home but same again, when the real contractions kicked in, I could feel it was the real deal.
I hear a lot of you saying labor at home as long as possible.... how do you know when to call it?
When my hot water heater couldn't keep up! I wanted to stay in the bathtub but the water kept cooling off too fast. I wanted to switch to the birthing tub and the hospital but I didn't make it in time. I was at the hospital 45 min when ds was born. Dh insists on leaving earlier this time
ngolimento said: When I was a FTM, I haaaated it when people said "you just know.". But sadly it's true . Active labor is way different than the preliminary stuff. Preliminary labor is "oh goodie! Maybe this is it! I think I will use a contraction timer while I Netflix!"
Active labor is "Oh god, I think I'm going to puke. Why did I do this?!"
Hahaha. YES. This is accurate.
@saralee797-2 As far as when to call it, that's a good question for your OB. They can definitely give you some good direction. Our practice used the 5-1-1 rule: when contractions are 5 minutes apart and one minute long, for at least one hour- call L&D to tell them and start coming in. Some will tell you to go 4-1-1 or even 3-1-1. You should also obviously factor in your drive time and what kind of labor you want to have. In my birth class with DD, the lady flat out said, "This is a hospital. We are a business. If you come here, we are going to try to do stuff to you to speed things along. If you don't want interventions, stay home as long as possible." For me, my contractions just got right on top of each other really quickly and I never got to a solid 5-1-1 place, more like zoomed right past it. Right before I decided to call L&D and go in, I felt like I was having one long, continuous contraction and my belly just stayed hard. I couldn't even tell when they were starting and stopping to time them anymore, but I knew shit was getting real and it was go time. Once I got to the hospital, they put me on the monitor and the cx were 1-2 minutes apart. So, I'm glad I didn't wait it out any longer! @ngolimento is right though, it's true that you will know when it's the real deal.
@codingchildhood do you know yet with your birth center if you'll treat it differently in terms of waiting before going in than with going to the hospital?
@codingchildhood do you know yet with your birth center if you'll treat it differently in terms of waiting before going in than with going to the hospital?
I know that the birthing center is a LOT more patient with labor progression. My friend had her daughter there and ended up laboring at the center for 2 days. She was given the option to go to the hospital, but so long as the baby wasn't in distress, they allowed her to progress without intervention. I don't know if I could handle laboring for that long, but it's nice to know it's an option. Her daughter was also in the breech position, and the midwife that attended her birth was able to get her to turn and avoid a c-section. Though that apparently hurt like hell haha.
I'm a STM but I'm not sure how long I'll wait before I go in this time. I am terrified of having a baby in my car. We are 45 minutes away from the hospital. I sort of disagree with everyone on knowing when it is appropriate to go to the hospital. I agree that you can tell when you're really in labor but I don't know that I would be able to tell how close to the end of it that I am, if that makes sense? DS took 12 hours of labor and my contractions didn't follow the rules that the hospital gave me like the 5-1-1 etc. With my first, I didn't really have a solid birth plan. I thought I wanted to go without an epidural but I wasn't really committed. I also didn't stand up for myself to be able to move around the room as much as I would have liked to. DS pooped so the room was filled with people from the NICU and everywhere else and I didn't get to hold him right away because they had to clean him up first. They did keep my parents and MIL and everyone out of the room though once I started pushing, which was great.
I'm curious about STM+ that have had long drives to the hospital. How does that work?? Do you just grit and bear it? I had a 20 minute drive and couldn't stand being in the car that long. I had back labor so the only comfortable position for me was on all fours. Sitting or laying down was torture during contractions... so much so that I cried at the hospital when they made me sit in the damn wheel chair instead of walk myself to the maternity ward.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
If you do your research beforehand, and pick the right place/OB, you can have a hospital delivery that is just as flexible and patient. With my daughter, I labored in the maternity center of the hospital for two days and they never ever made me feel rushed or pressured to do more interventions. They just kept telling me my DD was doing well, I was doing well, and to keep on trucking .
If you do your research beforehand, and pick the right place/OB, you can have a hospital delivery that is just as flexible and patient. With my daughter, I labored in the maternity center of the hospital for two days and they never ever made me feel rushed or pressured to do more interventions. They just kept telling me my DD was doing well, I was doing well, and to keep on trucking .
Yep! I had a 27 hour labor in a hospital and never felt rushed, despite almost no progression for the first 25 hours, and a friend just had a 45 hour labor (both of these were inductions btw) and never was rushed either. It's really, really dependent on your OB and the hospital. Choosing doctors/hospitals that are patient with slow labor (as long as there is no danger to the mom or baby) is literally my number one criteria in terms of doctor/hospital choice. (Well, tied with the hospital having a NICU.)
If you do your research beforehand, and pick the right place/OB, you can have a hospital delivery that is just as flexible and patient. With my daughter, I labored in the maternity center of the hospital for two days and they never ever made me feel rushed or pressured to do more interventions. They just kept telling me my DD was doing well, I was doing well, and to keep on trucking .
Yep! I had a 27 hour labor in a hospital and never felt rushed, despite almost no progression for the first 25 hours, and a friend just had a 45 hour labor (both of these were inductions btw) and never was rushed either. It's really, really dependent on your OB and the hospital. Choosing doctors/hospitals that are patient with slow labor (as long as there is no danger to the mom or baby) is literally my number one criteria in terms of doctor/hospital choice. (Well, tied with the hospital having a NICU.)
Looking back I wish someone had told me to ask this of my OB/hospital staff with my first. Now on my third it is absolutely a must-have for delivery. Unfortunately, there are too many hospitals that worry about speeding the process up. I feel its the #1 reason I ended up with a C/S with my first.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014! DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
If you do your research beforehand, and pick the right place/OB, you can have a hospital delivery that is just as flexible and patient. With my daughter, I labored in the maternity center of the hospital for two days and they never ever made me feel rushed or pressured to do more interventions. They just kept telling me my DD was doing well, I was doing well, and to keep on trucking .
Yep! I had a 27 hour labor in a hospital and never felt rushed, despite almost no progression for the first 25 hours, and a friend just had a 45 hour labor (both of these were inductions btw) and never was rushed either. It's really, really dependent on your OB and the hospital. Choosing doctors/hospitals that are patient with slow labor (as long as there is no danger to the mom or baby) is literally my number one criteria in terms of doctor/hospital choice. (Well, tied with the hospital having a NICU.)
Looking back I wish someone had told me to ask this of my OB/hospital staff with my first. Now on my third it is absolutely a must-have for delivery. Unfortunately, there are too many hospitals that worry about speeding the process up. I feel its the #1 reason I ended up with a C/S with my first.
Agreed. I was pushing for over 2 hours when the OB offered a C/S. I said no, but after 2.5 more hours of pushing I brought up the C/S and she told me no because she knew I didn't really want it (at the time I was cursing her 1000x). So it was offered, but they did not push which I was very happy about.
If you do your research beforehand, and pick the right place/OB, you can have a hospital delivery that is just as flexible and patient. With my daughter, I labored in the maternity center of the hospital for two days and they never ever made me feel rushed or pressured to do more interventions. They just kept telling me my DD was doing well, I was doing well, and to keep on trucking .
Yep! I had a 27 hour labor in a hospital and never felt rushed, despite almost no progression for the first 25 hours, and a friend just had a 45 hour labor (both of these were inductions btw) and never was rushed either. It's really, really dependent on your OB and the hospital. Choosing doctors/hospitals that are patient with slow labor (as long as there is no danger to the mom or baby) is literally my number one criteria in terms of doctor/hospital choice. (Well, tied with the hospital having a NICU.)
Looking back I wish someone had told me to ask this of my OB/hospital staff with my first. Now on my third it is absolutely a must-have for delivery. Unfortunately, there are too many hospitals that worry about speeding the process up. I feel its the #1 reason I ended up with a C/S with my first.
I never even thought to look into that with my first, so I feel extremely lucky that my labor went as smoothly as it did.
I hear a lot of you saying labor at home as long as possible.... how do you know when to call it?
When my hot water heater couldn't keep up! I wanted to stay in the bathtub but the water kept cooling off too fast. I wanted to switch to the birthing tub and the hospital but I didn't make it in time. I was at the hospital 45 min when ds was born. Dh insists on leaving earlier this time
Totally about the hot water. I labored in the shower on and off for hours before throwing in the towel. I wasn't getting relief when the water was just luke warm.
A). What was your birth plan? Specific avoidances or needs? I planned to have a vaginal birth and was open to having an epidural if needed. But I did not want to induce the labor if possible. Other than epidural, I wanted to try to be med free. Husband cut the cord and have immediate skin to skin.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? No because my son was footling breech and never turned. Since he was my first they said they cannot let me try to deliver vaginally because the head is the biggest part of the baby and he might get stuck. Had I already had a successful vaginal delivery they would have been more open to letting me try but I think most hospitals give automatic c-sections to breech babies these days. I found out that my uterus is almost arcuate meaning there is a dip at the top making it more heart shaped. That is why he was breech and may likely happen with all my babies.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I took a childbirth class at the hospital and read a bit. But I didn't do much more than that because I didn't want to get myself freaked out or be to set on a birth plan. I will likely do more research this time as I am interested in having a VBAC if baby is not breech. I will need to really look into everything and weigh my options. Also, I will need to see if my new doctor will be okay with it. My current doctor said I am a good candidate if the baby is not breech but we are moving to a different state so I will need to get a new doctor. From what I hear some doctors are against VBACs.
A). What was your birth plan? Specific avoidances or needs? with my first two I had to the mindset of I did bot want an epidural If possible. I'm not a huge fan of taking medicine and quite honestly didn't want a foley a catheter (ridiculous I'm aware). I wanted to be able to move around in labor also.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? with my first I did make it with no epidural, however they did not let me move due to baby not being picked up by the monitor well. I went in to be induced (cervical ripening that night and to start pitocin in the morning) they thought the cytotec(cervical ripening) had caused irritable uterus but it was true labor. Laying still was AWFUL! WIth my second I had hoped for no epidural , but pitocin was awful so I ended up getting one. However, I progressed so quickly my awesome nurse said she could avoid putting in the foley! I ended up being so numb I couldn't walk for hours after! C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I didn't do too much planning on either. I had an idea on what I did/didn't want. I plan to do a fair amount of natural child Birth study/class this time around. I really hope to not be induced, but I don't have full control over that as much as I was would like to! Hoping to try for natural again this go around!
Labor with DS was 36 hours and involved about 1,000 interventions, so this time I'm basically just shooting for the opposite of that.
I had my first appointment with my ob today and made sure he's okay with me walking, moving, etc. during labor. My last doctor had me lying down flat on my back the entire time, which I personally believe is the reason things didn't progress on their own. My new ob is fully supportive of my birth plan--which honestly just consists of being able to walk and not getting an epidural--so I'm really hopeful that things go more smoothly this time.
Please be careful with laboring at home. My daughter would not have made it if I labored at home. Luckily, my water broke first which is why I went in immediately, but if I was not being monitored immediately, I would not have a live baby today.
Married: May 26, 2012 Eden: February 8, 2016 Ivy: April 3, 2018 Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
Bump. @mdwiny this may have some of the information you're looking for and is probably a good thread to keep active anyway - I know reading others' birth experiences was hugely helpful to me as a FTM.
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Re: STM Birth Plan: this time vs last time
2.) our hospital is a small one and likes to minimize intervention to minimize risk. The childbirth prep class taught lots of breathing and massage techniques.
3.) I bounced on a yoga ball. All the time. I think that helped my hips get into the right position
Baby #1: Aug. 2016
Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
If I get a quick labor this go-around, I will be able to go epi-free. But if I am stalled for literally days again, I will do an epi, and feel good about it.
My plan wasn't specific. It was to goin open Minded. I wasn't set on an epi but told my provider I wasn't opposed should I feel I need it. I wanted skin to skin and to breastfeed sooner rather than later. Mostly just healthy mom and baby and I'd be happy.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
I labored at home 15 hours with consistent contractions. When I felt ready I headed in. I was progressing quickly and let the anathesiologist that I'd sign the papers for the epi but wasn't 100% if I wanted it since I felt ok. My water broke on its own around 7cm (I think) and I got very overwhelmed. I got the epi at that point and could still feel my contractions pretty strongly. They gave a couple more doses I think. I had a hard time pushing DD out and I know I should know but I think they ended up cutting. I got stitches so it could have been a combo. I honestly didn't care at that point, I had a baby on me and I was happy with my experience. The doctors respected my wishes and helped me through it all.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time?
i did a bit of research just so I was informed. I honestly learn a lot through the community and your own experiences to know what to think about. I plan to keep informed and stay open minded again.
#1. My birth plan was to have a minimal intervention hospital birth. I wanted to labor at home as long as possible then go to the hospital and finish laboring while walking, ball-sitting, showering, bathing, etc. I was not opposed to an EPI, I figured I'd go with the flow.
Post-partum was important to me, immediate skin-to-skin and breastfeeding at delivery were my number one needs.
#2. Give it my damnedest to get a VBAC. Stay home to labor, avoid an epi (among other interventions) as long as possible. If I ended with a repeat C/S, get a family friendly C/S experience.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
#1. Nope not at all. My water broke at home (7pm Friday night) and I called the hospital and they told me to come in. I showered and showed up at the hospital (mistake). Labor was not active, I was having mild cramping, that's it. They gave me 45 minutes for labor to start (mistake). When it didn't, they hooked me up to pitocin and proceeded to increase my dosage every 15 minutes (mistake). I asked for an epi early (mistake) because I went from zero to 100mph with my contractions. Labor stalled, C/S was called, my son was born at 5:26pm (less than 24 hours after my water broke--too rushed). I did not get skin-to-skin and I couldn't even hold my son for his first latch because of the meds I was given during my C/S.
#2. Yes. It was amazing. Labor started naturally so I stayed at home as long as I could stand it (16 hours ish). I showed up at the hospital around 3 am certain I was 5+ cm. Thanks to a LEEP (@kbamomma33 solidarity sister) that F'er was only a 3. I got to do my walking, hot-tubbing, groaning and moaning, bouncing on a ball for about six more hours. The on-call OB recommended getting an epi and I, practically frothing at the mouth, said, "NO, I DON'T WANT LABOR TO STALL, IT DID BEFORE." rawr! lol. He patted me on the back, pointed to the monitors and my mom and DH and said, "this train has left the station. Labor will not stop, I promise you. I'll be back in an hour." He came back, offered the EPI again and told me there's not way my labor would stop at this point, we were just working on breaking scar tissue. I ordered my EPI, life was great, I slept for an hour or so, then the team had me up and moving into labor positions (YES YOU CAN DO THIS WITH AN EPI!!!). Right when my team was ready to call a C/S my scar tissue finally tore through. My body progressed from a 5 to a 10 in 30 minutes. My EPI decided now was a good time to let me feel my body again, I panicked at the pain and asked for a C/S (lolz...), and my beautiful baby girl pooped into this world.
I just want to go on the record as saying: I. love. epidurals. I think they were God's gift to womankind.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time?
I did a little bit the first time around. I was interested in a med-free birth but more interested in going until I couldn't handle it and getting all the meds if I couldn't go further lol. As a result I didn't do much research. I did a more the second time around because I wanted a VBAC.
The biggest difference the second time around was knowing my non-negotiables (pending health of everyone):
1. Labor at home as long as freaking possible.
2. Delay the EPI as long as possible.
3. If VBAC fails, then skin-to-skin and breastfeeding in the OR.
I probably won't do more research this time around. It just freaks me out at this point. I'm going for a VBAC again. I'm nervous because if I fail, it will be more of an emotional and psychological blow than if I had failed with #2. The odds are in my favor. I'm just planning on rolling with my body. "I was MADE for this."
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? With my first, I got everything I wanted. I got her back to nurse in recovery (despite it being against regulations) within an hour of her being born. I honestly was okay with everything. Even having to miss out on early skin to skin, but I think a big part of that is because once I knew that she was tied up in her cord and not budging, I knew there wasn't another option to keep her safe. I had time to prepare. I've always felt bad for the moms that didn't get that. It would be a huge shock to have to process the change from a natural birth to a c-section in hours or even minutes. I had a few weeks to come to terms with it.
With my second we waited until day before her EDD (EDD was on a Saturday) like I wanted. I didn't have my arms strapped down. I didn't get her back as quickly as my first. I was actually out of recovery and back in my room before I got her. Part of that though was because my spinal wore off during surgery, so I was in recovery about 30 seconds since I could already wiggle my toes before I got there.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I spent some time thinking about what I really wanted and what I could live without in those last few weeks once I knew a c-section was likely. They did an exercise with us at my childbirth class back then that I thought was really helpful. They had us write down the 10 most important things that we wanted in a birthing experience. Then they told us oops you can't have 5 of those so cross out 5. Then oops you lost 2 more and had us cross out two more. It really made me focus on the 3 most important things which for me at the time I think was a healthy baby, getting to breastfeed, and getting time alone with my baby/husband before the rest of the extended family became involved. I plan to pretty much print out the last one I came up with and hope for the best this time. I'm delivering at a different hospital, so I might actually get skin-to-skin in the OR this time which would be awesome if possible.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Anyway, I was pretty diligent about doing it during my third tri and it worked GREAT for me. I was so calm during labor my husband and mom thought I was sleeping through transition. I would wake up and vomit and go back to lying very quietly on the floor, haha. I still felt each contraction but was able to deal with them by going deep inside myself - it's hard to describe but I was very internally-focused the entire time.
Then I sort of "woke up" out of they hypnosis because I felt crazy pressure and needed to push. We rushed to the hospital and she was born less than 15 minutes later. No monitoring or IV or anything - there was no time. It was a little crazy and this time we'll try to leave earlier since I almost had a baby in the car - but I'm DEFINITELY using the tapes again.
**Edit to add: I think Hypnobirthing is more popular, and maybe that works great too, but I was told Hypnobabies is way better since they actually give you the audio files to keep. But maybe the other class does too now, I don't know.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
My contractions with my second started at 11 am, became time-able at 1 pm, and got to 3-5 minutes a part by about 3 am the next morning. I was certain I was going to be 5cm+ because of how long I had labored and how close/regular my contractions were (every 3 minutes by the time we arrived) but alas I was only 3cm dilated. So, that means that despite having labored for 14-16 hours and being within the report window, I wasn't ready for delivery. That being said, some women have wicked fast labors and could have shown up at the hospital when I did and been a 9!
Key takeaway: find out what your delivery location recommends and when the time comes, get a contraction timer app for your phone!
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
Active labor is "Oh god, I think I'm going to puke. Why did I do this?!"
I wanted an unmediated birth with as little intervention as possible. When she was born, I wanted to do skin to skin right away, nurse as soon as possible, and delay cord clamping
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
Yes! I went into labor the night before her due date and I labored at home all night. I finally went in at around 8am. By the time I went in I was already 8cm. I had NO idea I had progressed that far. Apparently my tolerance for pain is abnormally high haha. My water broke the second I stepped foot into the delivery room, and she was born a little after 11am. I had some tiny bilateral tearing, and my midwife had me catch her, which was pretty amazing.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time?
I'll do a bit of research, just to see if there have been updates or changes in recommendations in the past 5 years. I'm going to a birthing center this time around, rather than the hospital. And I probably won't labor at home as long as I did the first time since I apparently can't tell when I'm in active labor.
I had Braxton Hicks starting at 28 weeks every freaking day, but then one night at 34 weeks it felt different and I knew it deep down it wasn't normal. We went in and turned out I was in premature labor. Thankfully they were able to give me the shot for the baby's lungs and stop my labor but I could tell it wasn't normal end of pregnancy contractions. I ended up being induced at 37 weeks for medical reasons so I didn't experienced the whole labor at home but same again, when the real contractions kicked in, I could feel it was the real deal.
@saralee797-2 As far as when to call it, that's a good question for your OB. They can definitely give you some good direction. Our practice used the 5-1-1 rule: when contractions are 5 minutes apart and one minute long, for at least one hour- call L&D to tell them and start coming in. Some will tell you to go 4-1-1 or even 3-1-1. You should also obviously factor in your drive time and what kind of labor you want to have. In my birth class with DD, the lady flat out said, "This is a hospital. We are a business. If you come here, we are going to try to do stuff to you to speed things along. If you don't want interventions, stay home as long as possible."
For me, my contractions just got right on top of each other really quickly and I never got to a solid 5-1-1 place, more like zoomed right past it. Right before I decided to call L&D and go in, I felt like I was having one long, continuous contraction and my belly just stayed hard. I couldn't even tell when they were starting and stopping to time them anymore, but I knew shit was getting real and it was go time. Once I got to the hospital, they put me on the monitor and the cx were 1-2 minutes apart. So, I'm glad I didn't wait it out any longer!
@ngolimento is right though, it's true that you will know when it's the real deal.
Started Dating: 2003 Married: 2013
Started TTC August 2016
BFP: 2/1/17 MC: 2/8/17
BFP: 3/8/17 MMC: 5/1/17
BFP: 7/23/17 EDD: 4/5/18
BFP: 2/27/20
With my first, I didn't really have a solid birth plan. I thought I wanted to go without an epidural but I wasn't really committed. I also didn't stand up for myself to be able to move around the room as much as I would have liked to. DS pooped so the room was filled with people from the NICU and everywhere else and I didn't get to hold him right away because they had to clean him up first. They did keep my parents and MIL and everyone out of the room though once I started pushing, which was great.
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
Baby #3: EDD, April 16th, 2016
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
I planned to have a vaginal birth and was open to having an epidural if needed. But I did not want to induce the labor if possible. Other than epidural, I wanted to try to be med free. Husband cut the cord and have immediate skin to skin.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
No because my son was footling breech and never turned. Since he was my first they said they cannot let me try to deliver vaginally because the head is the biggest part of the baby and he might get stuck. Had I already had a successful vaginal delivery they would have been more open to letting me try but I think most hospitals give automatic c-sections to breech babies these days. I found out that my uterus is almost arcuate meaning there is a dip at the top making it more heart shaped. That is why he was breech and may likely happen with all my babies.
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time?
I took a childbirth class at the hospital and read a bit. But I didn't do much more than that because I didn't want to get myself freaked out or be to set on a birth plan. I will likely do more research this time as I am interested in having a VBAC if baby is not breech. I will need to really look into everything and weigh my options. Also, I will need to see if my new doctor will be okay with it. My current doctor said I am a good candidate if the baby is not breech but we are moving to a different state so I will need to get a new doctor. From what I hear some doctors are against VBACs.
B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? with my first I did make it with no epidural, however they did not let me move due to baby not being picked up by the monitor well. I went in to be induced (cervical ripening that night and to start pitocin in the morning) they thought the cytotec(cervical ripening) had caused irritable uterus but it was true labor. Laying still was AWFUL!
WIth my second I had hoped for no epidural , but pitocin was awful so I ended up getting one. However, I progressed so quickly my awesome nurse said she could avoid putting in the foley! I ended up being so numb I couldn't walk for hours after!
C). How much research or planning did you put in? Are you going to do more or less this time? I didn't do too much planning on either. I had an idea on what I did/didn't want. I plan to do a fair amount of natural child Birth study/class this time around. I really hope to not be induced, but I don't have full control over that as much as I was would like to! Hoping to try for natural again this go around!
I had my first appointment with my ob today and made sure he's okay with me walking, moving, etc. during labor. My last doctor had me lying down flat on my back the entire time, which I personally believe is the reason things didn't progress on their own. My new ob is fully supportive of my birth plan--which honestly just consists of being able to walk and not getting an epidural--so I'm really hopeful that things go more smoothly this time.
Eden: February 8, 2016
Ivy: April 3, 2018
Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020