April 2018 Moms
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STM Birth Plan: this time vs last time

ngolimentongolimento member
edited August 2017 in April 2018 Moms
@maureenmce had a great idea for this topic thread - STMs sharing their approach to birth the first time vs this go around.  I personally feel like this would be enlightening to FTMs to see how flexible you have to be.

A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?

B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 

C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
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Re: STM Birth Plan: this time vs last time

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    ngolimentongolimento member
    edited August 2017
    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?  I went full out unmedicated and almost unmonitored with my plan. I didn't want a pic line, I didn't want cervical checks, I didn't want constant monitoring, no pitocin, and under no circumstances did I want an epidural.  I also didn't want anyone but my husband, and no episiotomy.  After my kid was born I wanted immediate skin on skin, and immediate exclusive breastfeeding.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?   Most of mine went flying out of the window.  I went to almost 42 weeks without a single sign of labor, with DD carrying super high (no sign of dropping).  At that point I was in agony from her sheer size, and I gave up on my dream of unmedicated.  About 24 hours before I was to be induced, I got repeated, but unorganized contractions.  I was so excited I was going into labor that I didn't sleep (huge mistake).  Next morning we went in and were told I was only 3cm, and the contractions weren't organized.  I still needed induction.  Huge bummer.  They were patient with me and used induction meds for another 24 hours (still no sleep). I dialated, but contractions were still dumb.  So I finally yeilded and went with pitocin.  I fought against the pain and exhaustion for another 12 hours, then finally gave in to an epi.  It went really well and I finally got some sleep.  about 10 hours later, DD was born at 10 lbs 3oz.  I did do BFing, but she was born so big that colostrum wasn't enough to keep her blood sugar up.  We supplimented with formula until my milk came in.

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?  I did ALL the research, which was my my plan had so many demands.  I do not regret it at all, because when people made recommendations to me, I knew why, and whether it was an appropriate recommendation.  It helped me to let go of things I thought I wouldn't budge on.  Everything they recommended made sense and was appropriate, which gave me confidence in all the research I put into providers and birthing facility.  If you research nothing else, research the people who will be helping you give birth. Because I chose the right facility, my birth plan going out the window was not traumatic, and I even had a really positive experience despite it.

    I will not be changing much.
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    A) i attempted an unmediated both times. I requested that pitocin not be given unless absolutely necessary, that they wait for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing before it was cut. That in case of a c section that dh be able to hold the baby asap. I asked for no pacifier.

    B) i ended up requesting an epidural both times. The first after 36 hours of active labor (3-4 minutes apart). The second after 12. Once i get too tired my body stops progressing completely. With my first pregnancy my sons heart heart nearly stopped and i was rushed to the OR for a cs but it started back up and i was able to deliver vaginally (in the OR). My husband was pretty terrified. My second delivery i passed out while pushing. Again my poor dh. Nothing will go exactly as planned!

    C) i took a birth class my first pregnancy which i do recommend for first time mom's. It helped me feel prepared. I wrote my birth plan on that class. I basically just tweaked it for my second pregnancy. And will do that again this time around. I don't really expect to have an unmediated birth this time but i will wait until i stop progressing to get an epidural again, I'll put something like that in my birth plan this time. Something like please do not offer me pain medication, if and when i feel the need for intervention i will request it. Birth plans are a good idea i think but just remember to be flexible and that there's no wrong way to get a baby out! Also be polite in your plan. Nurses can make your life hell if you piss them off haha.say thank you at the end!
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    Dumbgurl04Dumbgurl04 member
    edited August 2017
    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs? all I wanted was an epi.  I tried to go into the whole thing open minded because you never know what will happen.  After having friends have these birth plans with all these details and hardly any of them followed due to issues out of their control, and seeing their disappointment.  I knew I wanted to go in more open minded and not have my heart set a bunch of certain things that might not happen.  Granted nothing is wrong with having a very detailed birth plan, for me it was better to be open minded since I don't do well with medical things (they make me nervous). 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? yes I was able to get my epi. I was induced and a few hours after they started the induction I felt horrible contractions.  I was induced Monday night around 6 and got my epi Tuesday morning around 730.  Which getting the epi was a huge relief I was able to actually get some sleep.  Now me and DD relaxed a little to well after the epi and our hearts drop really low.  They had me sign papers to do an emergency c-section but said first they wanted to try giving me oxygen to see if that would help but wanted to have the paperwork out of the way just in case.  Thankfully the oxygen helped and I progressed well and started pushing around 2 that same Tuesday and my DD was born 32 minutes later.  The only other thing I wanted that didn't happen was having DD placed on me right after she was born due to it looked like she might have had a bowel moment in utero so they had the nicu Dr look at her and make sure her airways were clear.  She waa cleared and I got to hold her.  I made the choice not to BF so I feed her formula. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time? even though I was open minded I still researched all the different outcomes that could happen with induction.  Also I talked with my DR about all the outcomes and her thoughts.  I liked that she wanted to avoid c-section as much as possible and would try things first before jumping to c-section.  So not only researching things with your plan and also talking to your Dr about their thoughts is very important. 

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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    My birth plan for the 2nd was not much different than the first.  DS 1 was supposed to be delivered in the water, but by the time the tub was ready, I was NOT going to move!  LOL  DS 2 was born in the water and I caught him myself.  We do homebirth, so my specific avoidance was the hospital and pain meds.  My need was a calm and quiet environment to let my body do what it's designed to do.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
    Both my deliveries went almost exactly as planned!  The only things "wrong" with #2 were a) I tested GBS+ so I had to have an IV and b) baby came so fast that my mom and MIL didn't have time to get into the room!

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    For the first, I did ALL the research!!  I didn't do any for the 2nd and (if I can get in with my midwife again), I won't be doing any for this either. 
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    I didn't have one really as far as the actual birth. I just didn't want anyone in the room besides my husband and after DS was born I wanted us both to do skin to skin. 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    No  :( DS was rushed to the NICU because he had stopped breathing.. come to find out he had a hole in his lung amongst other issues. 
    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    I plan on doing way more research. Last time around I just thought an epidural was just how everyone gives birth, everyone I know had gotten one. This time around I want to try and labor at home for as long as possible, I want to try to go unmedicated or at least make it to 6-7cm before getting an epidural, I absolutely DO NOT want an episiotomy again if at all possible! I'll avoid too much monitoring at the end, as in no cervixal checks. 
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?

    None. Get the baby out safely. I was just happy to have my scheduled c/s (breech but flipped) canceled.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 

    Yep. Baby came out fine. I went into labor on my own two days before my scheduled induction. Admitted at 4cm, 75% effaced with ruptured membranes. I got the epidural an hour after I was admitted and she was here 8 hours later. My problem was baby had to labor down for 2 hours after being complete.  The only thing that didn't work was the epidural medication wore off three times and had to be given again. They also had to use the vacuum to get her out or I would have been headed to the OR. Pitocin was also given at the end because my contractions were every 10 minutes, resulting in pushing for an hour and a half, but only pushed 12 times. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?

    No extra research this time. I would like to go unmedicated as long as possible, just because the spinal headache from the epi was unreal. 

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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs? 
    I didn't really have any plan but I knew I wanted an epidural because I don't handle pain very well!  

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?  
    Well I got my epidural 24 hours after back to back contractions. The day I went into labor I had my membranes stripped by the doctor. The nurses in labor and delivery said they see it all the time where women contract with no dilation due to having membranes stripped. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?

    I did all types of research! I watched YouTube video (that was a bad idea) haha! Although I never made a plan the first time around and it this time I know more of what to expect. I will by no means let anyone strip my membranes!!! 

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    @zombiemom1318 what is stripping your membranes? Is that when they break your water for you? 
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    My birth plan was to have a med free, mindfulness based, minimal intervention, hospital birth. I had planned to labor at home as long as possible, then go to the hospital and finish laboring while walking, doing various poses and meditation that I had researched/practiced, and using a birthing ball. 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    No. None of it happened. I did labor at home for 16 hours and then went to the hospital when contractions were 1-2 minutes apart. When I got to the hospital, I wasn't dilated at all though, due to scar tissue that I had on my cervix from a LEEP. So, I ended up needing the epi so that the MW could break up my scar tissue manually, allowing me to finally start dilating (what my body had been trying so hard to do for those 16 hours!). Once I could dilate, I progressed normally and didn't need pitocin. I also let the MW break my water (which I hadn't initially planned on) because she asked me and I seriously didn't GAF at that point. I did need epinephrine twice because my blood pressure kept dropping from the epi. I also ended up getting zofran twice in my IV, which I gladly took at that point because I was nauseous and puking while pushing. DD came out after 27 hours of active labor. I had a first degree tear with 4 stitches. The MW was awesome at doing perineal massage with all the KY between pushes, and I really feel like that helped minimize the tearing for me. I did want delayed cord clamping and immediate skin to skin, which was standard practice at my hospital anyways, and I was able to BF in the delivery room for about an hour before moving to recovery.

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    I researched mindfulness birthing, as well as all possibly available hospital interventions thoroughly, to decide what I did/didn't want. I never actually had a written birth plan, but I (thought) I knew in my head what I did or didn't want and was confident in my reasoning. I'm not doing any research this time. I'm going for the epi again because I had a good experience with it in regards to pain relief. The fact that I was so sick from it wasn't awesome, but it was worth it to get DD out safely and to not have to feel my vag rip open. I'd like to have a similar experience again, though I know not to have too many expectations. One thing that I will do differently is not have cervix checks before active labor because they are dumb and unnecessary IMO. Overall, even though my birth plan got chucked pretty much immediately, I feel good about my birth experience. The biggest advice I would give FTMs is to be flexible because, guaranteed, at least something will not go according to plan. Give yourself some grace and just roll with the punches. Getting that baby out safely is what's most important. 
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    @zombiemom1318 what is stripping your membranes? Is that when they break your water for you? 
    Stripping membranes is this (illustration in spoiler), which some providers will do in office to try and jump start labor.

    Rupturing membranes is when they break your water. 
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    pghrenpghren member
    edited August 2017
    @kbamomma33 thanks for the info! What reasoning do they give for doing it? 

    ETA to fix tag and sp
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    @allowachick It has to do with prostaglandins being released that are theoretically supposed to ripen the cervix when the bag of water is separated from the uterus. 

    I never had mine done (looks painful and I was never offered- probably would have said no anyhow), but I heard some antecdotal accounts from other ladies that had varying success (most no success) with the procedure. Maybe more ladies here can weigh in though. 
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    maureenmcemaureenmce member
    edited August 2017
    @ngolimento Thanks for starting this!

    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    My plan was to see how long I could go without an epidural, ideally go without one, and to labor at home as long as possible.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    Nope!  I had to be induced and everything I had planned went out the window. After like 15 hours of the induction process I was only a fingertip dilated, so my OB broke my water. After that, the nurses wouldn't let me get up to pee anymore and I had to choose between a catheter or a bed pan. Since there was no way in hell my 41.2 week pregnant ass could lift myself up to hover over a bed pan, I said f it and chose catheter and also an epidural at that point.

    That led to the worst part of labor for me: (TW? General grossness, puking, blood) my blood pressure and heart rate crashed after the epidural. I have a thing called vasovagal syncope where this happens from time to time, when I give blood or am dehydrated, any change my body doesn't like. Anyway, to fix it you basically have to lie flat on your back. So they stabilized me and put me flat on my back. My husband went to go reassure my mom in the hallway and the nurse left too. At this point I realized the epi was WAY too strong and I couldn't feel or move anything below my shoulders. And of course, alone in the room, flat on my back and totally immobile, I started to throw up and choke on it. It was *so scary and awful* I can't explain. Luckily, a nurse walked by and grabbed me, forcing me upright and I was able to stop choking. But that episode irritated my throat so much that I coughed up blood for the remainder of labor (like 12 more hours after this point.)

    So, moral of a the story - do not be left alone! Certainly not with a strong epidural and flat on your back!

    Anyway, they cut the epidural level in half and it was actually perfect by the time I finally was ready to push - just enough to block the pain, but I could feel pressure with contractions and feel enough to push really well.

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?

    I'm considering prepping for an unmedicated birth this time around. I my dream world, I would just cut to getting the level of epidural I had at the end of my last labor and skip the whole crashing blood pressure, heart rate and puking thing, but knowing I have this vasovagal syncope thing, it seems very unlikely I won't have a similar reaction. My only concern is that I am not a hippie, feels-like-a-goddess when pregnant type, and a lot of the unmedicated birth prep isn't stuff I connect with.  Does anyone know of some non crunchy unmedicated birth prep?  When I'm in pain I basically do not want to be touched or talked to, I just want to disappear in my head and get through it solo. (To be clear - nothing at all against hippie stuff! Some of my close mama friends are very granola, I just know it's not for me.)

    So I guess my vague plan A would be like my plan a last time - see how long I can go without an epi and try to go the whole thing without it, and plan B - get an epi when I need to but plan for a bad reaction do NOT get left alone and make sure they make it really weak.

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    @allowachick It has to do with prostaglandins being released that are theoretically supposed to ripen the cervix when the bag of water is separated from the uterus. 

    I never had mine done (looks painful and I was never offered- probably would have said no anyhow), but I heard some antecdotal accounts from other ladies that had varying success (most no success) with the procedure. Maybe more ladies here can weigh in though. 
    I had my membranes swept, and it didn't hurt at all (already a little dialated).  I'm sure there is a bunch of chemical science behind it, but basically the goal is to piss off your cervix to trigger labor.
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    @allowachick I had my membranes stripped with my second baby. I was trying to avoid an induction. So the day before my scheduled induction I asked her to do it. Labor began an hour later. Wasn't too painful and in my experience helped avoid an induction. I was a week and a half over due. Doesn't always work but I think if baby is ready (overdue usually from what I've seen) it tends to work. It's not for everyone but I'll ask again if need be.
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    1st baby: I never had an ideal "birth experience" in mind - all of my preferences were based on least risk of harm to myself and baby based on what i'd read. Knew for sure I'd be wanting an epidural, but based on what I'd read, wanted to wait until I was close to 5 cm dilated. I wanted to avoid pitocin, c-section and any sort of cervical ripening agent. I wanted immediate skin to skin and breastfeeding post-partum.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not?
    Not exactly, but I was very happy with the way everything went down. 

    DD#1, 40W6D. Went into labor on my own one day before scheduled induction.
    6 AM: woke up feeling contractions for the first time in the pregnancy. Labored at home until contractions became regular and sufficiently close together.
    5 PM: arrive at hospital, get checked and am a 1. Monitored for an hour, no significant progress, get sent home. Labor at home until I am having diarrhea, vomiting and screaming in pain every time a contraction hit.
    3 AM: return to hospital and am a freaking THREE. Get epidural (oh sweet relief!) and sleep for a couple hours.
    6 AM: get checked again and have not made significant progress. Start pitocin. After starting pitocin, my labor progressed in a textbook fashion, close to 1 CM per hour.
    Noon: almost completely effaced and dilated, but baby still high. Sit up and "labor down" for an hour.
    1 PM: start pushing. Push for about 20 minutes, DD#1 was born! Mild tearing but nothing major.

    DD#2, 40W0D. Induced because of suspected (later confirmed) placental/cord deterioration. 
    8:30 AM: already dilated to 3.5, so no cervical ripening. Begin pitocin. (Not super clear on the timeline with this one, but I will approximate.)
    9:30 AM: water broken. Owie! I know this isn't terrible for everyone but was miserable for me.
    10 AM: get epidural. YASSS. 
    1:30 PM: complete and ready to push. DD#2 born after two pushes - so much easier the second time around!

    DS, 41W0D. Induced because of dates. I was sure my third child would come on his own before then, but nope. Dilated to a freaking 2.
    8 PM: begin cervadil, which actually put me into labor on its own. 
    6 AM: cervadil removed. Get checked, am dilated to 4.5. My body is in active labor on its own, but low dose of pitocin initiated anyway.
    8 AM: request epidural. While waiting for epidural, water breaks on its own. 
    9:30 AM: start vomiting and feel tremendous pressure. Have gone from like a 6 to complete in an hour. Several pushes and DS is born!

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    Apologize for the novel - I included all three birth experiences in case they're helpful for anyone. My takeaways:
    -first labor are often long. Like LONG long. In my experience and what I've heard from others, though, subsequent labors are often significantly faster and easier once your body has done it once.
    -both my babies 2 and 3 were still super high when I was induced. I was really worried that both would end in c sections for this reason, but nope - as soon as my water broke they dropped no problem.
    -I know not everyone has this experience, but having my water broken was really painful. If it must be broken again in future, I will request that it happen post-epidural.
    -My epidurals have been varying degrees of great but all have been easily worth it, in that they ease the pain significantly (some almost completely). They have also all served to help labor progress for me because they allow my body to relax, the very opposite of stalling labor each time for me.
    -My doctor said something like 98% of inductions for STM+ are successful (barring an emergent need for a c section, obviously) so she was very confident that both my second and third babies could be born naturally despite them hanging out up in my ribcage and my cervix refusing to cooperate (baby #3). She was right.
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    Birth plan was to get the baby out safely. I trusted my doctor completely and did what she told me to. I did want an epidural. The hospital's policy was to do skin-to-skin, so I didn't need to specify that for them. 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    Yep. Doc recommended inducing after my due date, and I agreed. Epidural and skin-to-skin - check. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    I didn't do too much researching. I had enough knowledge to be comfortable with the process, and like I said, I trusted my doctor.  
    There may be changes for this birth though. I had an awful experience with the epidural. It took them several tries to get the needle in, and it was excruciating. (I won't elaborate, but it was bad.) It did work just fine, but afterwards it took forever to wear off and I was petrified it had left me with nerve damage. My labor from induction to birth  was only 6 hours, so I may try no epidural this time. I'm scared either way. I'll wait until I get closer to make my decision. 
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    @allowachick I had it done at 39 weeks my doctor thought my baby was going to be extremely big and didn't want me to go over due. So it did put me into labor but I did progress much. Everybody is different though. For some people it does absolutely nothing others it can help with no problem. For all I know labor could have been that long just without doing it!  
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    I wanted a vaginal birth if possible, delayed cord clamping, immediate skin to skin and to nurse/hold baby as long as possible after birth before having him bathed, etc.
    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    All of the things I mentioned above did happen but things never go how you expect. My water broke at 5 am 8 days past my EDD. I went to the OB when they opened and I wasn't dilated or effaced at all so I was induced around 2 pm. I had an epidural at 7cm (around 8 pm) and DS was delivered with the help of forceps at 1:39 am. 
    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    Not a lot of planning. I think it's foolish to plan to much because there are so many factors beyond your control. Having some perfect plan you need to follow is only going to make you stressed. If things go similarly to last time, I'll be happy.
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    geojamineegeojaminee member
    edited August 2017
    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    I went in *wanting* a natural, unmedicated birth. I told the nurses what I wanted, but I didn't write anything down because I understood "things happen" and I wanted to keep my baby safe. I just said "I want you to be aware of my wishes and keep them in mind when making decisions, but I trust your professional judgement." Little did I know at that time how important it was that I said that. 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    It did NOT. NOTHING went as planned. Literally NOTHING. I have PTSD from it, actually.
    *TW*
    LSS, my daughter's heart rate was dropping to the 40s whenever I moved or whenever I had a contraction. I had an emergency c section and she coded (received CPR by the NICU team and was intubated) and didn't cry for 6 minutes. I didn't really see her or hear her before she was quickly whisked away to the NICU and I was convinced I had had a stillborn.
    */TW*

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    I had read so many books and planned everything and it was a f***ing waste. When nothing went as planned and the whole world went to sh!t, I was grateful to be surrounded by competent doctors and nurses. I am absolutely convinced that if I didn't deliver at that hospital (best NICU staff at least in the area, but I'm pretty sure they are nationally recognized) I would not have a child today. I'll probably communicate the same message as I did last time: "I really want an unmedicated VBAC, and I really want you to respect this and keep this in mind when making decisions, but ultimately I want a healthy child, so I trust your professional judgement if you advise me otherwise."

    One other thing to note, we were tempted to be Team Green. We decided to compromise and we had some friends arrange for a reveal at our baby shower so we would be surprised with everyone. But after that experience, I will NEVER be TG. TG assumes a happy, exciting, and joyful delivery. If we chose to be TG, the excitement of learning that we had a daughter (and I was convinced I was having a boy) would have been overshadowed by the horror of her near death. I apologize if I offend anyone, but my innocence has been stolen, and I think TG is a naive choice. I hate that I think that, but it's true. I so want to assume a happy delivery too, but it's just not reality sometimes and I wish I was more prepared.

    ETA: Unfortunately I feel the same way about home births.
    Married: May 26, 2012
    Eden: February 8, 2016
    Ivy: April 3, 2018
    Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
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    @bagowater what an incredibly difficult thing to experience. I'm so glad you were at a facility that was able to give your daughter the emergency care she needed, but wow - I can see how you would be traumatized by the entire birthing process.
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    @bagowater Oh my gosh how incredibly tough to go through that. Hugs.
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    Thank you @lindsye and @maureenmce
    Married: May 26, 2012
    Eden: February 8, 2016
    Ivy: April 3, 2018
    Baby 3.0: Due September 26, 2020
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    psuxray07psuxray07 member
    edited August 2017
    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
          I didn't exactly have a birth plan. I was due 9/7, but was to be induced 8/31 due to high BP. I just know I wanted an epidural and didn't want a C-Section, and hoped for everything to go smoothly and to hold my baby after.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
          No.  So, I was in for my NST and ultrasound on a Friday, and they took me to some room without telling me why at first.  They wanted to keep me overnight for observation because my BP was up.  At 2am Saturday, while in my hospital room, my water broke (I was 37w exactly).  Thankfully it happened there! 

         They put me on oxytocin, blah blah blah.  Fast forward to sometime more in the morning/daytime.  I was in a lotttt of pain for a long time.  They gave me stadol twice, and it only worked the first time for maybe an hour.  This huge hospital, and apparently no anesthesiologists were available for like, ever.  That was some suffering.  I think around 6pm I finally got my epidural when I was at around 7cm.  Omggg...I was so happy to feel relief!  I got a little bit of rest.  

        Wasn't progressing much, and they kept coming in every 2 hrs to check and "nope, another 2 hours."  The anesthesiologist had to come override my epidural twice because it took so long it was wearing off.  At some point in the early hours of Sunday morning, they had me start pushing.  I was pushing for 4 HOURS.  I guess he was getting close and they realized something wasn't going right and H said they sorta reached in and pulled him out at 7:26am.  He wasn't breathing, he was pale.  I think his APGAR was a 2.  They intubated him, got him breathing, brought him to me (they held him to my face) for a picture and a kiss and took him to NICU, where he was for 5 days. I was so exhausted/out of it by that point that I didn't know exactly what was going on. I remember saying, "he's not crying."

    Apparently his cord was being pinched off inside from him being in there so long, that he wasn't getting what he needed and he came out in hypovolemic shock.

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
          
    I didn't really put any research or planning in.  I'm not going to again, but rather going off of what happened last time.  I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to happen that way and someone should've made some better calls.  I told my dr. now about it and he said "we'll take better care of you,"  with a confident tone.  
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    @bagowater Tears in my eyes right now for you momma. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It must have been horrifying. I'm so glad that the providers at your hospital were able to save your baby girl. All the hugs for you. 
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    100% Hands off. To be able to walk around and be where ever I was most comfortable. To be able to eat and drink as I pleased. No medications. Immediate skin to skin and delayed cord clamping. 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    Yes! I had no checks besides an external doppler on my belly to check baby's heartbeat now and then. I was in labor for 14hrs (back labor with pain so bad I puked or dry heaved with every contraction from hour 2 until birth), pushed for 2 hours, and tore front and back. I had a water birth and so no one was peering down my vag and I pulled my baby up myself. However, I didn't eat or drink as it came straight up. *shrugs* I guess out of any of them it was the best one not to be able to do. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    I definitely researched my options and rights. Never feel like you don't have a voice, they are working for you. I plan on the exact same thing for #2 as well. It was physically  the hardest most painful thing I've ever experienced (and probably ever will) and obviously a glutton for punishment.  :p
    DH(27) + Me (27) = 1/14
    Baby #1: Aug. 2016
    Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    #1 go with the flow. Get the epi when I feel I can't take it.  
    #2 stay away from the hospital as long as I could. Try as many coping mechanisms as I could.  

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    #1 horribly. Epi only took on half so I had to lay in bed unable to move and in pain for 8 hours. I was terrified of a repeat hence my plan for #2. 

    #2 labored at home 10a-4:30pm, walked into the hospital at 4:45 and ds was born at 5;24. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    #1 I felt like people who chose med-free were on their high horse and I was all about the meds. I was quickly humbled and researched alternative pain relief with number 2 because in my mind epidural just aren't the magic that they are for the rest of the world so I went in with the assumption that they didn't exist. Even though he was a bigger baby (9#8oz) it was a much easier delivery!  I'm going to accept more help this time afterwards as I almost passed out in the bathroom when I was showering. 
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    @riversdoctor What alternative pain relief worked for you?  I'm hoping to avoid an epidural this time around, if I can!
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    I went with the "no plan". I had several friends give birth in the few years prior to giving birth myself, and none of them had a labor that went how they wanted it to. Some of them were pretty disappointed too, so I figured I would go with the flow and not have expectations. 

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    I had no plan, but a pretty great labor and delivery. At 34 weeks I started having contractions and dilating. It was obviously too early, so I was under doctors orders to take it easy. I had cervical checks every week after that, it helped me to know how far things were progressing. By week 37 I was 3cm dilated and 90% effaced. At 39+2 my water broke at 5am at home. Went to the hospital, and there they want babies to be delivered within 24 hours of water breaking, so they gave me a small amount of pitocin. I got an epidural shortly after getting the pitocin, and got antibiotics because I was GBS+. I felt great during the next four hours (the amount of time I needed to take the antibiotics), i felt the contractions, but they didn't hurt, it was seriously amazing. After the 4 hours, to everyone's surprise, it was time to push. 30 minutes later DS was born. The time from water breaking to DS being born was only 9 hours. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    I took a birth class and was tempted to attempt a drug free birth, I'm so glad I let go of that idea before going into labor. I spoke with a lot of friends about their birth stories too. I'm not going to do more research for my second delivery. Since labor with DS was so fast, I'm a little concerned with my second delivery being faster and possibly being GBS+ again. I plan to speak with my OB about this specific concern. 
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    No "plan" either time.  Wanted a vaginal birth if possible, but was fine with medication or c-section if necessary.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    Considering I didn't have one, I guess, no?  My son was born vaginally but with suction and a lot of assistance.  My daughter never progressed so I ended up needing a c-section with her after 2.5 hours of pushing to the point where I was sleeping through pushes.  Both experiences were different than I had hoped for, but weren't particularly terrible.  I don't feel traumatized or anything.

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time? 
    I didn't really plan for the birth.   I think if you really want a no-meds birth then you need to do your research, but that wasn't something I was interested in.  I'm half considering trying to VBAC with this one, but the reality is I'll probably end up scheduling a c-section.  I'm just not built to deliver easily and all my kids like to try and come out sunny side up.
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    I didn't have a specific plan. I wasn't sure how I would manage the pain so I told them I would like to try unmedicated but open to the epidural if needed. I did want skin to skin right away, and breast feed as soon as possible. I also didn't want to introduce a pacifier. 
    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    Yes it did. So I started having contractions Wednesday night that were not very consistent  (5 to 15 minutes apart) by Thursday morning right when I was about to go in they became very inconsistent again. Labored at home and went to town to make me walk around more. Labored Thursday night second night of no sleep. Again by Friday  morning I was ready to go in but they slowed again. By Friday night I probably had about an hour of sleep since Wednesday. I was so exhausted I went to the hospital even though my contractions were still not consistent I just needed help to sleep. By 1 a.m. I was finally progressing the contractions were still managable but DS was in some distress with every contraction so they suggested the epi. I was so exhausted I agreed to it. Once the epidural started i was able to sleep. They came in a few hours later and suggested patocin at that point I didn't care. 6 am the doctor came in and said it was time to push. 10 minutes later he was there. I got skin to skin right away and breast fed when I was ready. The only thing I didn't plan for was how long it took. This time around I am hoping for a shorter labor but planning on it being long. 
    much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?

    not a whole lot. I put my trust in my doctors and probably won't change much this time. 
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    A). What was your birth plan?  Specific avoidances or needs?
    I really didn't have much of a plan going in. I am diabetic, so I am high risk from the start. I went to a regional MFM center for all of my prenatal care starting around 8 weeks. They monitored me, the baby and managed my insulin pump and all related diabetic things. I went every other week in the beginning, weekly from 20-30 weeks, and twice a week beginning at 30 weeks until I had DD at 38w1d. I had MANY ultrasounds and additional diagnostic tests. At 30 weeks we started weekly BPP scans and NSTs. Because the pregnancy ws so involved, medical wise, my whole goal for delivery was to do what was best for both me and the baby without making it to stressful on either of us. I knew I wanted to try for a vaginal birth and that I would likely ask for an epidural, but I also knew a C-section was a possibility.

    B ). Did your birth plan happen? Why or why not? 
    Hard to say. As I mentioned above, I didn't have much of a plan. I will give a brief account of my birth story in case there is anyone else in a similar situation. Being diabetic generally causes the placenta to mature faster than a non-diabetic, meaning towards the end, it may not be as effective with providing the baby with what it needs. I believe around 36-37 weeks they saw signs that the maturation was starting, so they knew that I wouldn't make it full term. At 37 weeks, one of the MFM residents was trying to make the case for me delivering then. My doc's goal was always to make it to at least 38 weeks but she knew I likely couldn't go beyond 39 weeks. So the plan at that point was to go in at 38w, do an amnio to make sure the baby's lungs were ready. Another part of being a diabetic mother is that sometimes the baby's lungs don't mature as fast as they would otherwise. So if the amnio confirmed they were ready, I would be induced. If the were not ready, we would wait one week until 39w and induce then. They were in fact mature enough so they sent us to L&D and shortly thereafter they inserted I think Cervadil. After several hours absolutely nothing was happening. At this point in my pregnancy, I wasn't dilated or effaced at all and I hadn't even dropped. My body was not at all ready for labor. Despite attempts to induce, not a damn thing happened. So there was talk with a couple different doctors about a C-section. They were very patient and gave us all the time we needed to make a decision. My husband called both of his sisters - one had 2 C/s and the other had a C and a vaginal birth. Another concern was the possibility of shoulder dystocia. Another thing that sometimes happens to babies of diabetic moms is they develop fat pads on their shoulders, making them bigger. If that occurred, it would be an emergency and we would end up with a C section anyway. We finally decided to go for the C section. We relaxed for the night and were planning to have it the next morning. All along, they were preparing us - she may not cry immediately because of lung development, the NICU team will take her to monitor her sugars, etc. When we went in for the C section, they told me all the unpleasant sensations I may feel - pulling and tugging, pressure on my chest, etc. While we waited for them to start, my hubby and I just made small talk. We were interrupted my the loudest, healthiest little cry! I didn't feel any of those things I thought they might and she cried so loudly, I knew she was okay! She was 8lbs 3 oz, and sure enough had the fattest little shoulders! Her blood sugars were perfect from the second she was born and she stayed with us from the OR to recovery and I was able to try nursing immediately. She never needed a NICU stay and was perfectly healthy. My c/s recovery was actually pretty easy, too. I was using ibuprofen for pain control by the next day. The only real issues I had were gas pain and extreme constipation. For me, the hard work was the entire pregnancy, I was thankful the actual delivery went so well and was relatively easy. 

    C). How much research or planning did you put in?  Are you going to do more or less this time?
    Not much research. I was so consumed with the other facets of my pregnancy and all of the tests and things I had to have done, that I just wanted a healthy baby. I've never even had a contraction so I like the thought of a TOL or VBAC just to experience it, but I know I will more than likely have a repeat c/s and as long as baby is healthy, I'm perfectly okay with that. My only real plan for this time is to get some Tim Horton's coffee on board ASAP after delivery to hopefully prevent the constipation!!

    Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!


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    A) birth plan: i wanted an epidural. 

    B) did it happen: not w dd1. I went to the [wrong] hospital w what i thought was extreme heartburn that otc meds couldn't touch and found out i was suffering from severe pre eclampsia and HELLP. I was given pitocin and an unmedicated birth. I survived and still did it again.  ;) dd2 yes i got my epi and it was everything i hoped and dreamed.

    C) how much research did i put into it/will i put in this time? clearly not much. My requirements are pretty simple: I'd like to deliver in a hospital w a medical professional. Preferably w an epi.  :D

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    @riversdoctor What alternative pain relief worked for you?  I'm hoping to avoid an epidural this time around, if I can!
    Walking, bath, tennis ball counter pressure, and block breathing through contractions helped during early labor. Transition i found an ice pack on my neck and kneeling while swinging my hips helped. When I actually delivered they had me in a squatting reclined position to Balance out babies need (heart rate) and my pain. 
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    Quick question for STMs who planned for an unmedicated birth: What resources did you find most helpful?
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    Quick question for STMs who planned for an unmedicated birth: What resources did you find most helpful?
    For me honestly the idea of that giant needle going into my spine was enough to keep me from wanting an epi, plus the chance of those spinal headaches or the epi not even taking. Wasn't even a question in my mind. Also just knowing how many billions of women have given birth thousands of years before us with NO medications. They were my inspiration. Plus my mom gave birth to 3 babies with no meds (and 3 with meds and she said no meds was way better in her experience)  so I wanted to be just as BA as my mom. ;) There was no point in my labor (back labor that had me vomiting from the pain with every contraction for 15hrs) that I even debated an epi. I think this time will be even easier knowing once the baby is out the pain is gone. Like instantly. Sure my vag hurt from tearing and there was lingering menstrual type cramping when nursing as the uterus cramped down (totally normal), but it was absolutely nothing after going through labor. 
    DH(27) + Me (27) = 1/14
    Baby #1: Aug. 2016
    Baby #2: April 1st, 2018
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