I had a little break thru today kind of unexpected. I was cleaning the kitchen and was just thinking about the puppy and 2 new students I have gotten in the last week and how I feel so blessed. Then I started crying because I think I have fully 100% let go of all this crap. I feel so happy and where I'm supposed to be in my life. I feel nothing at all is wrong with my reproductive parts. I feel the healthiest I've been in 7 years. I honestly haven't felt this good in a year! So I'm hear to say FU to TTC ha! lol.
I'm also going to say NO to DHs request for CD 3 and 21 blood draws again. I've already had those in December. I will however ask about C/S scar tissue.
@rosemaryandthyme@leahcimmichael LOL you're welcome! Looks like 9dpo is the day to start testing since there's a 50% chance to see a +HPT if you are pregnant!
@vlagrl29 That sounds like such a peaceful state of mind.
So my scar tissue is fine and I'm 100% healthy. He said I have unexplained infertility and I gave him a look and told him I'm not infertile. I just refuse to believe that. He suggested clomid. If I wanted femara I'd have to go to an RE. I don't have coverage on that. He said I don't have to decide now but told me not to wait until I'm 39. I'm just so scared to take something right now.
@vlagrl29 I'm glad that scar tissue isn't an issue, but not having answers can be frustrating. I know that you'll take your time and make sure you feel good about whatever you decide.
@leahcimmichael - he said it would have showed on the HSG and when he felt inside my uterus he didn't find anything alarming. I'm fine not having answers - I'd rather not have answers than have and issue.
Mentally speaking I'm doing well with my business and have been focusing on that.
I mentioned what if clomid hurt an embryo because I don't show a BFP until 4 weeks and he said it wouldn't hurt it as long as it wasnt implanted. So I could try clomid 1 month and then take a month off to make sure I'm not pregnant. It could be an every other month basis. He said the more you use it and if it hasn't worked it probably won't. So not many people use it for 6 months.
So I bought more FRER today and BFN. I'm 15 or 16 DPO. No temp drop this morning. Totally stressing over this as my last MC I didn't turn the until I was a week late. So I feel like I'm just waiting for this to happen when I don't even know.
The last year has been hard on me. I had recently told myself this school year will be a much happier one. I also been thinking I'm ok with a one and only if that's what is meant to be. It's like at what point do you stop? I feel Iike I'm already at that point. I want to enjoy all the holidays coming up. I'm guessing my loss has made me want to protect myself mentally speaking. DH thought I was crazy for wanting to abstain from sex so he wants us to do a 3 way call with my OB! LOL. I know what the dr said to me about my concern but DH doesn't remember that. I told DH I'm super firm on this and I won't change it.
I just called my RE to get more progesterone. I took it last month as soon as I got the BFP. I will only take it if/when I get another BFP. Pretty sure my insurance won't cover it. I can only imagine how much it is. I will soon find out.
Insurance should cover prog. Depends the form it is. Find a compounding lab and you can get it oop for cheaper. I had the vaginal inserts. $12 a pill. Crinone is insane $$$
I've been away a bit- I got a horrible cold and am not feeling much better. I've even lost my voice- which I don't think has EVER happened. Tomorrow is CD30. My cycle is usually 29 or 30 days.....
@sprkls8506 so irritated I went and bought a clear blue test one digit and one not....used digital and it was faulty. I've been testing with FRER and thought maybe I would give another brand a try to see if different result and now I have to wait until I can pee again
@vlagrl29 no I didn't implant late with my son or my 1st loss. I didn't have the crazy brain so no POAS early with those two I just tested Day of AF and got glaring positives both times. My 2nd loss I didn't turn the test until AF was a week late
@Mack2342 - I see why you are very nervous if it could be following the same pattern. I'm a late implanter. I really hope you get an answer one way or another. When are you a week late - when will you test again.
Woa. I've missed a lot. Back at work and Mobil bumping sucks.
@vlagrl29 your life is exactly what you make of it. I'm so happy you have a positive attitude and fullness. It's great to feel good about what you have. @Mack924 weird Cycle?! Are you sure about your O date? Good luck no matter what the outcome.
I has had my second beta draw today. Will prob get the results tomorrow afternoon. Dreading. First draw was 347 @14dpo so I'll be happy with anything 700. Fx
Good Luck @justsuzie - I think the loss brought out a lot of anxiety. Thinking about all that stuff yesterday when I was taking a shower last night I noticed I was breaking out in hives on my back. This stuff gets to me way too much. So that's why I need some more time.
Sorry @Mack2342 - but I do know the relief you are speaking of
@justsuzie - since I've been in a great mind state lately I've honestly stopped thinking about TTC as a goal but more of letting god decide or whatever. Since yesterday I've asked myself do I even want another kid. I'm 37 so maybe my time is up and missed my window. Now that I have DD in school I have all this time to work on my business and doing my own thing again. Maybe we waited too long to add another. But then when I really think if I would be ok with stopping and not perusing another kid I'm afraid I'd regret it. But I think it's good to have that moment that you know you are at peace with everything. DH saying he would want to try 2 IUIs if clomid didn't work - well I don't want to. I mean I don't want to be spending the last 3 years of my 30s like this.
@justsuzie yes! You should stay as long as you need to!
@leahcimmichael BFN on 11dpo. Today is 14dpo... waiting until tomorrow or Saturday IF AF dosent show. I'll be nervously looking for spotting all day today and tomorrow. I only have clear blue easy pg tests- and can not get FRER here.
Also @silvergreen thank you for that webpage... it's still giving me hope and a little sanity!
@justsuzie yes! You should stay as long as you need to!
@leahcimmichael BFN on 11dpo. Today is 14dpo... waiting until tomorrow or Saturday IF AF dosent show. I'll be nervously looking for spotting all day today and tomorrow. I only have clear blue easy pg tests- and can not get FRER here.
Also @silvergreen thank you for that webpage... it's still giving me hope and a little sanity!
@vlagrl29 and @justsuzie I want to remind you two that my first pregnancy I was 39 it was uneventful and I delivered my son at 40.
AF is officially here. I felt a load of stress come off my shoulders because I truly felt like I was going to be in the exact same situation as my last MC. I called RE last night as I'm supposed to have US in the first 3 days of cycle before I start meds. We are leaving this morning for MI. I'm hoping they will get me in this morning for US but if not DH and I decided that we would just travel and not screw up DSs bday. We will try naturally and then start meds the following cycle if necessary. So I'm heading to WTO
Re: August TWW
I'm also going to say NO to DHs request for CD 3 and 21 blood draws again. I've already had those in December. I will however ask about C/S scar tissue.
@vlagrl29 That sounds like such a peaceful state of mind.
Mentally speaking I'm doing well with my business and have been focusing on that.
I mentioned what if clomid hurt an embryo because I don't show a BFP until 4 weeks and he said it wouldn't hurt it as long as it wasnt implanted. So I could try clomid 1 month and then take a month off to make sure I'm not pregnant. It could be an every other month basis. He said the more you use it and if it hasn't worked it probably won't. So not many people use it for 6 months.
I've been away a bit- I got a horrible cold and am not feeling much better. I've even lost my voice- which I don't think has EVER happened. Tomorrow is CD30. My cycle is usually 29 or 30 days.....
@vlagrl29 no I didn't implant late with my son or my 1st loss. I didn't have the crazy brain so no POAS early with those two I just tested Day of AF and got glaring positives both times. My 2nd loss I didn't turn the test until AF was a week late
@shri929 sorry for AF
@vlagrl29 your life is exactly what you make of it. I'm so happy you have a positive attitude and fullness. It's great to feel good about what you have.
@Mack924 weird Cycle?! Are you sure about your O date? Good luck no matter what the outcome.
I has had my second beta draw today. Will prob get the results tomorrow afternoon. Dreading. First draw was 347 @14dpo so I'll be happy with anything 700. Fx
@vlagrl29 It's hard to find balance between heart and mind. I know you'll do what's best for you.
@justsuzie - since I've been in a great mind state lately I've honestly stopped thinking about TTC as a goal but more of letting god decide or whatever. Since yesterday I've asked myself do I even want another kid. I'm 37 so maybe my time is up and missed my window. Now that I have DD in school I have all this time to work on my business and doing my own thing again. Maybe we waited too long to add another. But then when I really think if I would be ok with stopping and not perusing another kid I'm afraid I'd regret it. But I think it's good to have that moment that you know you are at peace with everything. DH saying he would want to try 2 IUIs if clomid didn't work - well I don't want to. I mean I don't want to be spending the last 3 years of my 30s like this.
@leahcimmichael BFN on 11dpo. Today is 14dpo... waiting until tomorrow or Saturday IF AF dosent show. I'll be nervously looking for spotting all day today and tomorrow. I only have clear blue easy pg tests- and can not get FRER here.
Also @silvergreen thank you for that webpage... it's still giving me hope and a little sanity!
Ive got my FX for everyone still in TWW.
@leahcimmichael BFN on 11dpo. Today is 14dpo... waiting until tomorrow or Saturday IF AF dosent show. I'll be nervously looking for spotting all day today and tomorrow. I only have clear blue easy pg tests- and can not get FRER here.
Also @silvergreen thank you for that webpage... it's still giving me hope and a little sanity!
Ive got my FX for everyone still in TWW.
sorry if this posted twice. Mobel is being funky.
AF is officially here. I felt a load of stress come off my shoulders because I truly felt like I was going to be in the exact same situation as my last MC. I called RE last night as I'm supposed to have US in the first 3 days of cycle before I start meds. We are leaving this morning for MI. I'm hoping they will get me in this morning for US but if not DH and I decided that we would just travel and not screw up DSs bday. We will try naturally and then start meds the following cycle if necessary. So I'm heading to WTO