WTF Wednesday 8/23

jenotontx · August 2017

What has you saying...

angiek1 · August 2017

Not wanting to discuss all the crazy drama happening in politics, but I think we can all agree that ESPN removing an Asian reporter from covering the UVA game in Charlottesville because of his name "Robert Lee" is just absurd. I thought the story was a joke so I went over to snopes.com and was just astounded it was a legit thing.

pghren · August 2017

My neighbors (college kids with a puppy) have again left dog poop in our yard

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

totally agree @angiek1 this is starting to get out of hand. I'm all for having your own beliefs but having things removed because YOU don't agree with it or it upsets you is just insane. People need to grow some thicker skin.

ngolimento · August 2017

Dumbgurl04 said:

totally agree @angiek1 this is starting to get out of hand. I'm all for having your own beliefs but having things removed because YOU don't agree with it or it upsets you is just insane. People need to grow some thicker skin.

While I agree that removing the reporter was going to far, I completely disagree about the statues. Many of those "monuments" were put up in the 1920s specifically to intimidate and oppress POC who were fighting against segregation. They aren't about history, heritage, or anything other than intimidation and oppression. That isn't what our country is founded on. It just isn't.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

angiek1 said:

Not wanting to discuss all the crazy drama happening in politics, but I think we can all agree that ESPN removing an Asian reporter from covering the UVA game in Charlottesville because of his name "Robert Lee" is just absurd. I thought the story was a joke so I went over to snopes.com and was just astounded it was a legit thing.

I was satisfied with the explanation, actually. I think it's fine.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

Dumbgurl04 said:

totally agree @angiek1 this is starting to get out of hand. I'm all for having your own beliefs but having things removed because YOU don't agree with it or it upsets you is just insane. People need to grow some thicker skin.

Can you please elaborate on your thoughts? It's possible I am misreading them, so I thought I'd just ask.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

ngolimento said:

Dumbgurl04 said:

totally agree @angiek1 this is starting to get out of hand. I'm all for having your own beliefs but having things removed because YOU don't agree with it or it upsets you is just insane. People need to grow some thicker skin.

While I agree that removing the reporter was going to far, I completely disagree about the statues. Many of those "monuments" were put up in the 1920s specifically to intimidate and oppress POC who were fighting against segregation. They aren't about history, heritage, or anything other than intimidation and oppression. That isn't what our country is founded on. It just isn't.

This is also how I read @Dumbgurl04's comments, and I find it upsetting. I asked her to elaborate because it's possible we aren't fully understanding what she's saying. I'm hopeful at least.

sparklingdiamond · August 2017

I am kinda annoyed because our office moved into a new building a couple months ago (our own building instead of a shared office building). I am super happy to have my own office, but my boss said mine and my coworker's were the same size and they clearly are not. He definitely got the bigger office! Which I know shouldn't be a big deal, but we do the same job and I've been here longer.

Also, coworker's wife recently had a baby, so he has been out a lot for that (understandable to an extent). But he went to like every single prenatal appt and was gone a big chunk of time each one. No worries, that's all fine. But I got a comment when I had to go do a lot of blood draws earlier this year because of my stupid miscarriage.

lindsye · August 2017

My middle child learned a song on YouTube kids (she gets 10 minutes twice a day. Don't judge me.) called "Mama's got a baby in her tummy." She happens to be right, but I haven't told her that yet. (I'm 4+3 and prefer to wait for viability ultrasound to tell even my kids.) Anyway, she has taken to singing it just about everywhere we go. I've had both strangers and people I know ask me about it and force me to awkawardly avoid the question or lie.

Three year olds.

ngolimento · August 2017

My WTF goes to my coworker this week. I scheduled my time off for the eclipse like a year ago, and she is my counterpart (we cover for each other while we are each gone. We generally can't overlap PTO). I came back from my vacation to find out she has been gone the entire time I was gone, letting work pile up, because her shoulder hurt. Wtf woman? I haven't taken a single sick day off even though I feel like shit every day from first tri nonsense. Why would you be gone for a freaking week over a shoulder?

kaymaroo · August 2017

@ngolimento I would be seriously ragey over that. She needs to woman up and cover her/your workload!

kaymaroo · August 2017

Every single pregnancy symptom I complain to DH about he thinks he has, too. My back hurts, so does his. I'm nauseous, so is he. I'm tired, he's exhausted. Last night he actually said right to my face "Isn't it funny how we have all the same symptoms?" Seriously, WTF. I'm about to lose it with this nonsense.

Mattel · August 2017

allowachick said:

My neighbors (college kids with a puppy) have again left dog poop in our yard

This!!! I finally said something to my neighbor and she tried to blame it on my dogs. We have 20 lb Boston Terriers who poop pretty small poops. These are the size of their heads and I've seen her giant dog squatting in my yard.

ngolimento · August 2017

kaymaroo said:

Every single pregnancy symptom I complain to DH about he thinks he has, too. My back hurts, so does his. I'm nauseous, so is he. I'm tired, he's exhausted. Last night he actually said right to my face "Isn't it funny how we have all the same symptoms?" Seriously, WTF. I'm about to lose it with this nonsense.

I really feel your pain, my DH is the same way. Anytime I get a cold, within a day he is all "oh I am getting it too!" (He has had a cold like 3 times in the 8 years we have been together. And anytime I go home sick, I have to hide it from him because if he knows, within an hour he is home "sick" too. Sorry dude, not interested in your pretend shit when I am legitimately sick.

irenejean · August 2017

Not really sure how to answer this without getting political

pghren · August 2017

@Mattel yeah we have the reverse situation - they have a tiny beagle puppy and we have a lab/putt mix. Plus we immediately pick up her poop in bags and throw it out because we live in the city. These kids are the same ones whose cat was jumping through the rafters into our basement. I get the idea they are not ready to own pets

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

Sorry for my delay in responding I got pulled into some meetings for work. @ngolimento and @bettyvonsomethingstein what I was referring was more in general way and not one thing in particular. I'm sort of in different when it comes to the civil war monuments I can understand both sides, so I don't have a strong opinion either way if I had to lean one way or the other it might be more to taking them down. I do believe how they are handling this though is completely wrong. Just over the weekend a man was arrested in my state for beating a civil war monument with a hammer. There was a teacher at my old high school that resigned all because he told his students that they had a right to stand or not stand during the pledge or allegiance, and people threw a fit about it. People seem to get so upset and offended more easily now a days. I understand fully why people want those monuments taken down but trying to tear them down themselves or vandalizing them is not the way to do it. Pulling someone from their job because of a name (they didn't pick) because it might make some people upset is ridiculous. What's next are they going to ban anyone with the last name Lee to name their son Robert? I'm all for being against them but there is some serious overreaction going on.

kaymaroo · August 2017

@ngolimento ugh I hear you. I get so frustrated with him using up all his sick days because he *thinks* he's sick, then having none left for when DS is actually sick (so I end up using all my sick days on DS with none left for myself).

kaymaroo · August 2017

Oh here's another one. My gyn office just called, I was in a meeting so the front office girl left a message "need to speak with you about your u/s results yesterday. It's not an emergency but I do really need you to call me back today". So of course I panicked and called her back asap and she said "Everything on your u/s looked great, you can keep your ob appointment next week" in, by the way, the most depressed tone I've ever heard. I told her she gave me a scare with the voicemail and she got super snarky and said "I SAID it wasn't an emergency." I love my gyn office usually but right now I'm hating that woman 100%.

pghren · August 2017

@kaymaroo that's a load of crap! Why would they insist you call them TODAY if it was only to confirm the status quo

kaymaroo · August 2017

@allowachick right?! I was actually wondering if it was just me thinking that's weird (pregnancy hormones are making me super salty today). But that's wtf, right?

maureenmce · August 2017

Researching some facts about Sweden for work and stumbled on this: in Sweden, parents are entitled to 480 days of paid leave when a child is born or adopted. Uh, WTF, America? Can we get with the program and have, you know, ANY national paid parental leave soon, please?

lauranicole91 · August 2017

@kaymaroo I'm not sure if I'm more angry at her initial message or her snappy bit after you showed concern. What a snatch. I'm sorry you have to endure such behavior.

riversdoctor · August 2017

I'm dealing with utter incompetence with a coworker.. The most minor (and aggravating) is dealing with a vendor to fix her error because she order 600 "vanilla" envelopes 4 months ago and they cancelled the order because vanilla envelopes aren't a thing. (Manila envelopes are a thing!). Now we are out and need more by tomorrow!

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

Dumbgurl04 said:

Sorry for my delay in responding I got pulled into some meetings for work. @ngolimento and @bettyvonsomethingstein what I was referring was more in general way and not one thing in particular. I'm sort of in different when it comes to the civil war monuments I can understand both sides, so I don't have a strong opinion either way if I had to lean one way or the other it might be more to taking them down. I do believe how they are handling this though is completely wrong. Just over the weekend a man was arrested in my state for beating a civil war monument with a hammer. There was a teacher at my old high school that resigned all because he told his students that they had a right to stand or not stand during the pledge or allegiance, and people threw a fit about it. People seem to get so upset and offended more easily now a days. I understand fully why people want those monuments taken down but trying to tear them down themselves or vandalizing them is not the way to do it. Pulling someone from their job because of a name (they didn't pick) because it might make some people upset is ridiculous. What's next are they going to ban anyone with the last name Lee to name their son Robert? I'm all for being against them but there is some serious overreaction going on.

There are not two valid arguments when it comes to the taking down of civil war monuments. They must be removed, period, end of story. I'd like to get into how privilege allows you to be indifferent to the topic, but instead I'll just urge you to look into that for yourself.

I take great issue with the general assumption that people overreact or get offended too easily. The issues of our current time have to do with matters of human dignity and the fact that some people believe that others, based on religion/skin color/sexual orientation are less than a person. To judge whether someone should be entitled to be upset, to judge the actions they take in protest, this all amounts to silencing. This is not okay.

And again, I've read the explanations as to the ESPN guy, and "because it might make some people upset," is a gross misinterpretation of the facts.

jenotontx · August 2017

I had to go into my Dr office to have some labs drawn just now.. after being given the form at the front desk I was directed to go to the lab around the corner. When I got to the door the phlebotomist was sitting in the office with the lights off and door closed so I just stood there by the door because I assumed she didn't want to be disturbed. But then another employee saw me and told me to knock... so I did and the lady inside the lab turned, looked at me and just held her hand out indicating for me to open the door and give her the form. Then when I open the door she is super rude and proceeds to tell me that she has 5 minutes left of her lunch and I can take a seat until she is ready. I understand it's annoying to have your lunch interrupted but the attitude was completely unnecessary and why would the front desk sens me back there in the first place if she was still on lunch?! Ugh.

MrsF1017 · August 2017

@riversdoctor it's scenarios like this that make me wonder about people. Seriously??? Vanilla envelope. I hope she was joking.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

@JJMNO1616, wow, she really taught you a lesson, huh? I think you run the risk of your lunchtime being interrupted when you remain at your desk. It sucks, sure, but it's part of the pitfalls of working life, and certainly not rudeness-worthy.

kaymaroo · August 2017

@lauranicole91 my sentiments exactly. Just awful all around.

@JJMNO1616 why is it so hard for people to be polite? I hate it when I get attitude like that for no darn reason.

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

@bettyvonsomethingstein I never said the arguments where vaild. I just said I understood both sides. And yeah I'm indifferent, because whether those monuments are there are not, im still going to have my beliefs. I have always been disgusted when you see anything about slavery or what they had to go through during the civil rights movement. But I'm not going to take a hammer to a monument and vandalize it, I'm going to have a more rational action and call lawmakers and or vote to have them removed. There are more ways to protest then destroying property or hurting another human because their beliefs are different then yours. Sorry I don't meet your standards of political protest, but to be fair we have only had this group around a month so we haven't really got to know each other to a full extent so hey we might actually have more in common then we realize.

And yes some people do overreact. There is a person at my work who has filed complaints because someone said "God Bless you" when someone else sneezed and they hear it. All because they don't believe in God and it offanded them. Now to me that is an overreaction, to you it might not be.

I also went back and read more articles on the ESPN Broadcaster (cause at the time i had only read one) frankly it's the the extremist on both sides who have taken it to far. I understand more why ESPN and the broadcaster decided the change was needed to avoid any craziness which caused craziness and overractions. Honestly if I watched that game on Sunday I would have never thought twice about his name but others could have a totally different reaction.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

Dumbgurl04 said:

@bettyvonsomethingstein I never said the arguments where vaild. I just said I understood both sides. And yeah I'm indifferent, because whether those monuments are there are not, im still going to have my beliefs. I have always been disgusted when you see anything about slavery or what they had to go through during the civil rights movement. But I'm not going to take a hammer to a monument and vandalize it, I'm going to have a more rational action and call lawmakers and or vote to have them removed. There are more ways to protest then destroying property or hurting another human because their beliefs are different then yours. Sorry I don't meet your standards of political protest, but to be fair we have only had this group around a month so we haven't really got to know each other to a full extent so hey we might actually have more in common then we realize.

And yes some people do overreact. There is a person at my work who has filed complaints because someone said "God Bless you" when someone else sneezed and they hear it. All because they don't believe in God and it offanded them. Now to me that is an overreaction, to you it might not be.

I also went back and read more articles on the ESPN Broadcaster (cause at the time i had only read one) frankly it's the the extremist on both sides who have taken it to far. I understand more why ESPN and the broadcaster decided the change was needed to avoid any craziness which caused craziness and overractions. Honestly if I watched that game on Sunday I would have never thought twice about his name but others could have a totally different reaction.

I stand by my statement that your privilege is showing. The fact that you can maintain your beliefs whether there are monuments or not does nothing for the many, many people who are affected every second of every day that these symbols of oppression and intimidation still stand, and frankly, your original remark that it is "insane" for people to expect to have them removed because (your words) "YOU don't agree with it," is flat.out.offensive.

I am glad to read you are disgusted by slavery and life pre-civil rights movement, but I think you would do well to educate yourself more on social justice issues and why your remarks are offensive, because I don't think you are getting it.

smc06200 · August 2017

Had to get blood drawn today, 7 tubes and started passing out, gagged into the trash can and the phlebotomist made me lay on the floor.. so embarrassing

ngolimento · August 2017

Well, to continue the political discussion, I think we should be looking to Germany as a model on how to deal with an ugly past without erasing it. They DO have memorials to honor fallen German soldiers who sacraficed thier lives, but not in a way that romanticizes them or supports their cause. I heard an NPR peice that opened my eyes on how America is failing in the South to do that. Basic things like all the slave auction blocks on street corners that are left there without even an explanatory plaque. If I was a POC and had to pass that every day, along with a big grand monument to some asshole who abused, raped, and oppressed my ancestors, I'd feel pretty ragey about it, myself.

I do NOT necessarily support the unlawful destruction of monuments, but I understand the centuries of suffering and neglect that prompt it. Because of that, I don't dismiss the people involved as just sensitive, or unruly. Most people are law abiding citizens. What does it take to push them that far? That's the real question.

kmalls · August 2017

Dumbgurl04 said:

@bettyvonsomethingstein I never said the arguments where vaild. I just said I understood both sides. And yeah I'm indifferent, because whether those monuments are there are not, im still going to have my beliefs. I have always been disgusted when you see anything about slavery or what they had to go through during the civil rights movement. But I'm not going to take a hammer to a monument and vandalize it, I'm going to have a more rational action and call lawmakers and or vote to have them removed. There are more ways to protest then destroying property or hurting another human because their beliefs are different then yours. Sorry I don't meet your standards of political protest, but to be fair we have only had this group around a month so we haven't really got to know each other to a full extent so hey we might actually have more in common then we realize.

And yes some people do overreact. There is a person at my work who has filed complaints because someone said "God Bless you" when someone else sneezed and they hear it. All because they don't believe in God and it offanded them. Now to me that is an overreaction, to you it might not be.

I also went back and read more articles on the ESPN Broadcaster (cause at the time i had only read one) frankly it's the the extremist on both sides who have taken it to far. I understand more why ESPN and the broadcaster decided the change was needed to avoid any craziness which caused craziness and overractions. Honestly if I watched that game on Sunday I would have never thought twice about his name but others could have a totally different reaction.

To the bolded: therein lies the problem. People of color HAVE called lawmakers and they HAVE attempted to go through the proper channels to get the offensive monuments removed. This issue is not new: they've been asking for decades, generations even, to have them taken down. What would you do if your voice was being totally, completely ignored? Just say "oh well, I tried?" No, at some point you'd get mad enough and take a hammer to it.

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

Well we can't all agree on everything. @bettyvonsomethingstein and like I said you don't really know me well cause we have only been at this for a month. Just because I'm not an extremist in my protests doesn't mean I dont see the social injustice happening in the world (That craptastic person called the Vice President use to be the governor of my state, so yeah been to a few protest against his choices). So if you think I'm privileged because I choose not to destroy public property in my protests for social justice then I guess I'm privileged.

ngolimento · August 2017

@kmalls not to mention the fact that gerrymandering is specifically done to silence their voices, or efforts to make it impossible to vote, like closing polling stations to force huge lines. What good does calling a member of Congress when they know your vote doesn't count?

kmalls · August 2017

@Dumbgurl04 but that's not even close to why @bettyvonsomethingstein was saying your privilege was showing. She was referring to your statement that you don't care if there are monuments or not. THAT is privilege. It has nothing to do with "extremist" protesting (though I'd hardly call toppling an offensive statue "extremist").

maureenmce · August 2017

@ngolimento I think following the German example is an excellent idea!

I also love this idea from a German city about how to deal with neo Nazi marches - they turn them into involuntary walk-a-thons to fundraise against extremism! So, for every mile the Nazis march, the townspeople donate money to fight hate groups. They even have sarcastic banners where they congratulate the Nazis for taking a stand against Nazis and raising so much money to fight hate. I love it. I think one way to keep these hateful Nazis, KKK and alt right people off of our streets is to not just protest them (though we should for sure!) but also to humiliate them, embarrass them, and doxx them so they know that they/their beliefs are not accepted by society at ALL.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/neo-nazi-walkathon_us_59952cfbe4b0acc593e51ae5?utm_campaign=hp_fb_pages&utm_source=news_fb&utm_medium=facebook&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000021

Edited: because I forgot two words in the middle of a sentence! D'oh!

Dumbgurl04 · August 2017

kmalls said:

@Dumbgurl04 but that's not even close to why @bettyvonsomethingstein was saying your privilege was showing. She was referring to your statement that you don't care if there are monuments or not. THAT is privilege. It has nothing to do with "extremist" protesting (though I'd hardly call toppling an offensive statue "extremist").

Maybe I should have phrased it better. I don't want the people who put up those monuments up to think they succeed in their purpose. So I don't care if they are there or not because I'm not going to let a piece of rock define me. Yes the things that happen in our country where disgusting and awful but you can either live in the past and stay bitter about it or you could learn from it and be a better person for it.

bettyvonsomethingstein · August 2017

Dumbgurl04 said:

kmalls said:

@Dumbgurl04 but that's not even close to why @bettyvonsomethingstein was saying your privilege was showing. She was referring to your statement that you don't care if there are monuments or not. THAT is privilege. It has nothing to do with "extremist" protesting (though I'd hardly call toppling an offensive statue "extremist").

Maybe I should have phrased it better. I don't want the people who put up those monuments up to think they succeed in their purpose. So I don't care if they are there or not because I'm not going to let a piece of rock define me. Yes the things that happen in our country where disgusting and awful but you can either live in the past and stay bitter about it or you could learn from it and be a better person for it.

And your privilege is what allows you to move forward and not live in the past. Racism is very much alive and thriving today, and those monuments are just one aspect of it. I think you are making yourself clear, but you are still very much in the wrong. I can see you are well intentioned, but I think you need to do a little more homework, because you're just aren't getting it, and maybe I need to do a little (a lot) more homework too, because i would really like to see you get there, but I can see my comments aren't resonating.

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