August WTO

vlagrl29 · August 2017

ha! Neither DH or I could do every day sex. DH wanted it last night but I was too damn tired. That plays a factor too. @jchpg

Mack2342 · August 2017

Every day is a lot. DH can do maybe 3 in a row but that's about it. We've BD 3 days in the last 5 days and will again tonight and hopefully again tomorrow

justsuzie · August 2017

@Mack2342 Hope you are right. I'm staying positive. My next EDD is December 6, ugh.

@vlagrl29 So hard, I know...sorry. And Instagram isn't even safe. PG announcements there too. I will go hide under a rock now.

vlagrl29 · August 2017

@justsuzie. I don't see them on IG because I'm following mostly yoga people. It's mainly on FB for me.

justsuzie · August 2017

@vlagrl29 I HAD to get off FB after my ectopic loss. I knew I couldn't handle the announcements. And it seems like everytime I turn around a coworker pops up with a baby bump. sucks.

rklinge0 · August 2017

@justsuzie that's the worst about working in a female dominated field. 5 teachers and aids had babies this year.

justsuzie · August 2017

@rklinge0 if there was a "hate it" option under your post I would have hit it.

dpjennifer · August 2017

jchpg I completely understand the bitterness and sneering about PG announcements and PG ladies. MC makes one very jaded, especially if you’ve never had a live baby.

silvergreen · August 2017

Totally understand that jaded feeling, but I don't feel much bitterness at the success of others. I've walked both sides.

My sister went through a MMC a few months prior to discovering my own pregnancy and I had a complete breakdown when I announced the news to her as I carried a lot of guilt about something that was out of my control. I made sure to let her know before anyone else so that she would only hear it directly from me. It was one of the most difficult things I've had to do. It wasn't received particularly well (although she didn't express this to me personally). She later asked that I not speak to her about it (via text), and it honestly made me feel that my baby was being resented. It made me both sad and furious. I understood where she was coming from completely, but yet you feel so strongly about the life growing inside of you that you can't help but feel overprotective of it. Needless to say, I ended up going through the same thing - and it wasn't until that happened that she really stepped up to support me.

silvergreen · August 2017

On another note: AF finally arrived in full force on Friday. What a relief. Around CD 5 today.

shri929 · August 2017

I've been pretty obsessive this month using three different OPKs and this am all three were +, clearblue, first response and wanfo. Thought that was pretty cool

dpjennifer · August 2017

silvergreen It's definitely rough. I can't speak for the other side, but from the MC side there are so many emotions as you know. If you've only had MCs and never had a live child then it can make you very very bitter. It's not that you resent the baby and the children, but you resent that others seem to have it so easy, and are so happy, and have everything that you want and can't seem to get despite trying everything that you can.

silvergreen · August 2017

@dpjennifer Totally understand. I've only had one pregnancy and it's ended in a loss, so it's still early days for me and TTC. I know I can't attest to the true struggle. I just try to keep the vibes positive the best I can, for myself and others.

ETA: I think it's also important to note that we shouldn't make assumptions about fertility struggles or lack thereof. Most mothers I've opened up to have stories of MC (many multiple) of their own to share, but I would have never have known had I not started the conversation by sharing first.

silvergreen · August 2017

You ladies probably know better than I do - any idea if it's safe to take a baby aspirin daily whether or not you have a blood clotting factor? I notice the occasional splinter hemorrhage on a nail or two, at the tips. I was tested for antiphospholipid syndrome a couple of years ago because I had concerns, but it came back negative so they just referred to it being from trauma, like bruising. I'm aware there are more blood clotting factors out there and recently read something about this being a common cause of MC, especially after hearing a heartbeat (which I did).

dpjennifer · August 2017

silvergreen Absolutely! I've become very open about my losses and had FB friends reach out to me to talk about their losses. Some seem to have 'perfect' families with several kids and whatnot, and have had 1 or more loss. I try not to judge... although to be honest, I'm a pretty bitter old hag at this point in the journey so my first immediate thought is usually not pleasant. But I then the reasonable part of me jumps in and tries to remind me that I don't know everyone's stories and/or struggles. That helps me get through.

I saw a MFM specialist who told me I could start taking baby aspirin because it may not help, but it won't do any harm. But when I went to an RE, he was not a fan of that idea. And when I tested out of what the baby aspirin could help, it wouldn't even help my situation. Since then I've heard that some people with certain medical issues could have complications if they took baby aspirin. So, I guess research best you can, ask a doctor if able, and be careful.

jchpg · August 2017

@dpjennifer it's good to know I'm not the only one. I wanted to love your response but then I realized I'd rather "hate it" but that's not an option on here...

@silvergreen it's not that I'm outwardly spewing my bitterness- it's more of me commenting (far out of ear shoot) to DH about my annoyance- or just an all around shift from pre MC thinking " oh a pg woman, how lovely" to "damn pg woman- I should look like that right now" I see your side of being positive- but it's just not there for me now. I've got alot friends with brand new babies right now and they know my situation. I am not bitter towards them- I see them and their babies regularly and am ok with it. Of course many people have been through the same or worse situations then I have- but when I see others pregnant, at that moment they are and I am not- and that's where the problem lies for me.

dpjennifer · August 2017

@jchpg I understand. I've started referring to myself as a bitter old hag. HA!

I'm here for a rant any day!

mrschx · August 2017

@jchpg @justsuzie @vlagrl29 @dpjennifer & @anyoneelse I have to throw in my thoughts on this one - Its just so so hard for anyone with any kind of loss to see pg women or babies or "perfect" families on all the social media. I have since taken a break from them to protect my fragile feels at the moment. Its interesting, I caught myself one day at the grocery store sneering at a woman and her two children. Thinking about how she had these two kids, and was just at the store doing her thing, oblivious to the fact that some of us are going through torture to just do the simple things that women are supposed to be able to do (have all the babies). But, crazy thing was, that moment stuck in my head, and a week or two later I was at a local support group, and I saw that Very woman at the meeting. She had also lost a son at term several years before. I could not actually believe it.
So, TW********live child mentioned*****

I have a 3 yr DD, and I am sure some women must have looked at my situation and life longingly at times. Now, not so much, but without knowing me, we seem like a happy family of three.
****End TW****************
No one would know my life was completely crushed just months ago when we lost our son at 39 weeks. So, its all perspective. We just never know what others may or may not be dealing with. I am still going to allow myself to be all kinds of bitter towards to seemingly easy pg ladies out there because I just can' t do much else at the moment. But I can see both perspectives I suppose.
But bitter on, gals, because we DID get shit on a little bit in life, and no, not everyone has to go through loss. Even if some people like to comment that "its so so common and not a big deal" They can seriously just shut it already.
OMG, so so sorry for the rant. Officially over!

rklinge0 · August 2017

@mrschx I completely get what your saying about this. Something I found out in the past 2 years is that everyone has their own burdens and sorrows. Some are more obvious than others but no one is as perfect as they seem.

silvergreen · August 2017

@mrschx I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. That is really heartbreaking. I can't even imagine what you are going through.

I didn't mean to make anyone feel as though their feelings are invalid - that's far from what I meant. Everything you feel is valid when it comes to loss. I think I just wanted to make room for some perspective, as shitty as all of this is.

I often catch myself at times wondering, "Why her and not me?" But I realize that so many of us face these challenges. Since my loss almost every woman I have opened up to has shared their loss stories with me. My husband even comes home sharing stories from other guys at work. I literally can think of only one person I've met since my loss that hasn't had that misfortune. So I really just try not to jump to any conclusions.

I have an old classmate on FB who is due next month. I can't even feel envious. She lost both of her parents when we were younger (her father when we were ten and her mother in our later teens). I'm really happy that she gets to have a family again.

I guess I just carry some angst about the situation I was in with my sister. I was just crushed, and yet crushed for her at the same time. In response I could only feel angry about it all. It's still a tender issue for me, despite us now sharing losses.

vlagrl29 · August 2017

@mrschx - TW I also have a DD and she is 6. I find myself noticing how kids at the park have siblings and same at the pool and I sit and wonder if it will ever happen to us. I told DH a couple nights ago that I wish if we really aren't meant to have another kid I wish I would be given a sign now just so I know I could completely give up.

JelloBean1 · August 2017

Joining you guys over here. I was waiting and waiting for AF to arrive, finally yesterday evening it started, 10 days late! Hopefully cycle will start going back to normal soon. Last month was the first AF after my D&C, and it wasn't like a normal flow, but this one is more like how it was before.

silvergreen · August 2017

@JelloBean1 I hear you! My first period felt much more watery than normal. It was a normal length (5 days), then I had two days of nothing followed by ten days of spotting! Thankfully the second period was just a normal length. Hopefully this one will be the same.

Mack2342 · August 2017

Well I think I may have ovulated today. Another solid smiley today and some cramping today. We BD 5 times in the last 7 days so hopefully we got it done and get a BFP.

justsuzie · August 2017

@mrschx Rant away....I hear ya. I never assume I know anything based on outwards appearances. I just found out one of my friends suffers from severe depression. NEVER would have known. I try to go about life knowing that I am not the only one that may be in pain. That being said, I still stay off social media to protect my progress. ( @rklinge0)And, I didn't tell anyone at work about my most recent loss and sooo many people talked behind my back about why I seemed "off" or "sad", yet nobody ever asked me about anything. It's hard working as a teacher....teachers are the worst gossipers.

silvergreen · August 2017

@dpjennifer Sorry, I forgot to thank you for the info about the baby aspirin! So omg, I just found this video.

"For the same reason aspirin should be avoided in pregnancy, chamomile has such powerful anti-inflammatory properties that regular consumption may result in a serious fetal heart problem—premature constriction of the fetal ductus arteriosus, which allows the fetus to “breathe” in the womb."

Is anything safe?

justsuzie · August 2017

My dr told me to take baby aspirin during tww and when I get my bfp. So I'm hoping it works.

silvergreen · August 2017

@justsuzie Did you doctor test you for anything? Or was it one of those "can't hurt to try" things?

justsuzie · August 2017

@silvergreen She ordered us to get bloodwork but we are going to give it one more shot naturally and I didn't want to be stressed out if I did have a genetic disposition. So I will take baby aspirin and progesterone just to cover all angles. Hopefully I'll never have to get those tests and get pg and carry to term!

rklinge0 · August 2017

@justsuzie luckily this year I had a super small class at a small private school so when my miscarriage happened my kids nor the staff asked questions. I had to tell my principal to get a sub for my first and follow up ob visit.
But I worked at public school the year before so I remember how gossipy that was. Sorry you had to go through all that this year.

Mack2342 · August 2017

I think I o'd yesterday so I'm moving to TWW

silvergreen · August 2017

@rklinge0 I'm sorry you had to go through that. Lacking in professionalism, to say the least. Sounds like your colleagues never really left school the first time.

mrsbark711 · August 2017

Hello all, I am new here, and I have some questions.

For those of you that had a CP how long did you wait to TTC? My doctor said it's fine to start as soon as my cycle resumes. Do I assume that the bleeding from the CP was AF? Do I count that first day as CD1 or do I sit this one out and wait for a true AF?

Thanks!

dpjennifer · August 2017

silvergreen Ugh... Sometimes I swear they know as much about PG as they did a century ago...

mrsbark711 For both of my CPs they told me I could try again right away, counting the first day of the MC bleeding as CD 1 (just as you would with AF). Basically, they treated early CPs as a period. Only my later MMCs did they make me wait until after at least one cycle (one AF AFTER the MC bleeding). So you should be good to start now. Are you temping or anything? (It can really help since after even a CP your cycles can be wonky for several months). But I know some people find temping a comfort, and some people just get more stressed out over it. I'm Type A, so I prefer all the data.

vlagrl29 · August 2017

@mrsbark711- my doctor told me we could as soon as we wanted too. I was in no emotional shape to TTC the first month so we started back up the 2nd month.

mrsbark711 · August 2017

@dpjennifer I am not temping yet. I need to get a basal thermometer. I used to have one a few years ago, but I can't find it. I have some Amazon OPKs that I plan to use this cycle. I am definitely a type-A!

@vlagrl29 I completely understand what you mean. Personally, I think that not TTC would some how stress me out even more. I think that it goes back to me trying to be in control of the situation, or getting back to normal. Like, I was TTC before I found this out, so the "normal" thing seems to TTC again.

Thank you both for your responses.

vlagrl29 · August 2017

@mrsbark711 - I understand being in control and I like to be in control of my life so when things don't happen like I think they should that's when I let go otherwise I will literally go insane ha!

I woke up around 3am this morning and start thinking how happy I was before TTC #2 and nothing in life has really changed so why should I let this bother me. Could I risk missing the perfect moments with my family right now and then regret it later? I can't do that for what -- living in limbo? Is it worth it? So I don't temp or OPK or perfectly time BD because I know it will take over my life and if it takes another year to get pregnant and later I regret it? The hardest thing by far for me is letting go and still trying to have hope because usually when I let go of something there is no hope ya know like a bad relationship and you know it will never happen. I remind myself to live in the present moment and see out of those eyes not the eyes that are hoping for something that hasn't even or may not happen. Enjoy what is now not the what if. I'm sure I'm one of the few on here that is going in this direction but it is what feels right to me.

justsuzie · August 2017

@vlagrl29 ^^^ Yes. It does start to take over right? I have worked very hard this past month to "be present". It is so important. Counting down days or even thinking too much about the future is just wasting the time we have now.

jchpg · August 2017

@justsuzie I need to think this way too... I'm spending so much time thinking about all of this- it can't be good.

I'm 15DPO for the last two months of opks I've gotten a smiley the evening of day 15- I just tested and got nothing. I'm hoping it'll be smiling in the morning. Freaking out a bit it'll be a no O month. I need to remember to stay present and not obsess but it's so freakin hard.

vlagrl29 · August 2017

yes that's why I stopped using OPKs and temping because i would find I was more stressed about if I was ever going to O and low and behold I always would. My body is working like it should. Just started having creamy CM this morning which will eventually turn into water/stretch closer to O. 1 thing I do not lack in is CM.

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