Baby shower? — The Bump
February 2018 Moms

Baby shower?

Hello there February mamas!

How are you planning the timing of your baby shower? I know it's still far away but my family and friends recently learned of my pregnancy and now they're excited to plan this piece. I feel like us Feb. folks have some particular challenges with all of the holidays coming up. Mind you there will be benefits too... pie and cookies FTW! Haha.

But seriously. My due date is Feb. 8th, I feel like I'll need to do the shower either in Nov. pre-thanksgiving or in Jan. which will be so close to d-day, last 3 weeks of pregnancy. Thoughts? Comments? What are you doing?
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Re: Baby shower?

  • No shower this time. We still have a lot of stuff from when our youngest was a baby. If it's a boy we'll have to buy some new onesies and sleepers. A lot of dd3's clothes during her first year are gender neutral and some are "boy" clothes. There are only a handful of things I'm eyeing at the moment. A co-sleeper, another structured carrier, a sling or wrap, since I told the ones we used once dd3 was out of that stage. 

    My MIL will likely want to go shopping. I was 34 weeks when we went shopping for dd3's stuff. I had nothing then since my then-youngest was almost five and I sold all of the remaining baby stuff a couple years before.
    G 12.04 | E 11.06 | D 11.08  | H 12.09 | R 11.14 | Expecting #6 2.16.18.



    msunshine123
  • I doubt I'll have a shower this time, but last time mine was about a month before my due date and it was fine! So you could probably get away with an early January one if you needed too. November wouldn't be bad either, but that's right when people start getting in holiday crazy mode rather than winding down so maybe something to consider. It will also depend on who's throwing your shower I would guess. 
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    msunshine123
  • If it were me, I'd shoot for early November with an early Feb DD or January with a late DD. I doubt I'll be doing anything unless I have a boy this time, my family might want to do a small get together. I guess it all depends on when your hosts have time though. I wouldn't be too picky with it.
    msunshine123
  • clc515clc515
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
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    I'm a FTM and my SIL just offered, like, yesterday to host so I'm thinking about this, too. She's from out of town and wants to lock in a place when she visits me in 2 weeks because of the holidays etc. We're thinking 1st weekend of December, because it's a week after the Thanksgiving holiday but far enough before Xmas. I'm Due Feb 1, so that's 2 months wiggle room even if I'm early. It's only my SIL and 2 or 3 friends who'd come from out of town, and 2 already said that date works haha. Dec is hard because of all the holiday parties, but we're hoping the timing is okay. Thoughts?
    msunshine123
  • I probably won't do one but when we go to MIL's for Christmas she'll likely want to go shopping. Especially fabric shopping for baby quilt supplies! Lol

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    msunshine123
  • My hosts were asking the same thing. I think a lot will depend on some people's travel plans and we may end up having a few thrown by different groups of friends, so they will probably be spread out some. My guess with the holiday craziness it will probably be early Jan for me. Although it would be great to be able to get some items on Black Friday sales! 
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    msunshine123
  • Given baby showers are usually in the afternoon I'm not worried about holiday party conflicts. I'm telling hosts anytime in Nov/Dec will work. 
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    ramzlaumsunshine123
  • This is my 3rd so I won't have a shower. But if it was my first I would choose November for sure. 

    Theres nothing like stressing about what you need. And, it's no fun to be out and shopping for things you need and were not gifted while 36-38wks pregnant. I like having time to prepare though 

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    msunshine123ashhsa
  • I'd echo PP Nov would be good because you don't want to be shopping for it just before you deliver or after if LO comes early. This is my 3rd - so no shower here for me.
  • My friends are looking at November dates.  
  • ashhsaashhsa
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
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    November for sure, I'm not having a shower as I'm a STM, but my first was born in Jan and we had the shower early November. 
  • I'm not having a shower (STM), but like @ashhsa, my first was end of January and I had a November 2nd shower! 
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  • I think November shower is easiest. I had a friend who had a shower right around Xmas last year (thinking everyone would be in town for the holidays)--it ended up not working for lots of people bc of conflicts with schedules. 

    Also, whatever you don't get during your Nov shower, you could get Black Friday/after Christmas deals. 
    farmrose
  • I'm a second time mom, but since it's twins this go around, I will have another small shower. My MIL and mom have already started talking about it. We live in a part of the country where winter weather is so unpredictable. So this one will probably be in October. With my first, I had it a month before I was due, which I regretted. I wished I had done it sooner since DD came just two weeks later and we hadn't finished unpacking it all. I was also extremely swollen at the end, and the shower at 35ish weeks was a long day for me. But this is just my personal experience. 
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    mblomq2magnolia305
  • I have a shower question.  This obviously isn't my first baby,  but it is my husbands first child and he is very excited.  Is there any kind of man baby shower he could have? I don't want him to miss out on experiences because of my older children.  
    And I'm pretty sure his mom is going to want to host a baby shower,  she wanted to hold a bridal shower before we got married but i politely declined since it was my 2nd marriage, and if i flat out decline again she might take it personally. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • @mamaof5already coed showers are very popular nowadays. I think if his family wants to throw a shower instead of declining, opt for a coed shower so that your DH and his family get to have that first child experience. Also, my DH had a beer and diaper party. Maybe the men of the family could throw something like that for him if that's more his speed.
    starla
  • Thank you all for your feedback. Now I'm thinking November before thanksgiving. I'll be in the third tri but the weather won't be awful yet and that will give me time to buy the rest. Plus folks won't be in Christmas mode yet.
  • Ugh and the app deleted my next two comments!! But @mamaof5already I think you should still celebrate. If you don't want to over do it don't ask for any gifts and only invite close family/friends. See what husband would like.
    JaymeMacmamaof5already
  • I have a shower question.  This obviously isn't my first baby,  but it is my husbands first child and he is very excited.  Is there any kind of man baby shower he could have? I don't want him to miss out on experiences because of my older children.  
    And I'm pretty sure his mom is going to want to host a baby shower,  she wanted to hold a bridal shower before we got married but i politely declined since it was my 2nd marriage, and if i flat out decline again she might take it personally. 
    We decided on not doing a shower and MIL just took me shopping and I brought dd1 and dd2 along. It would have been a coed shower if we went that route. Dd3 is my husband's first and MIL's first grandchild. She was ALL about baby stuff.
    G 12.04 | E 11.06 | D 11.08  | H 12.09 | R 11.14 | Expecting #6 2.16.18.



    mamaof5already
  • I'm going for a November shower before the holidays. I'm due late February but I thought with all the holidays people will be exhausted. I'll spare them from another party so early after the holiday rush. 
    jayli95
  • It is so good to hear everyone is thinking November! I was stressing out about it being too early but everything I looked at said I will be much less miserable earlier on! Some women who had showers at 8 months+ said they just wanted to go home and did not enjoy their showers. I have immediate family who live out of town, so I'm pretty sure my shower will be Thanksgiving weekend to accommodate them. I know that will irk some people, but it's impossible to please everyone! Also, I wanted to avoid December dates because my shower will be at a restaurant or some other venue and WOW do the rates go up for December!
  • I have a shower question.  This obviously isn't my first baby,  but it is my husbands first child and he is very excited.  Is there any kind of man baby shower he could have? I don't want him to miss out on experiences because of my older children.  
    And I'm pretty sure his mom is going to want to host a baby shower,  she wanted to hold a bridal shower before we got married but i politely declined since it was my 2nd marriage, and if i flat out decline again she might take it personally. 
    Diaper parties are pretty popular where we are from! The men hang out have a BBQ or go to a camp and bring diapers as gifts. It's mostly an excuse to have a guys day but can you ever have enough diapers? Lol
  • @mamaof5already we usually do sprinkles for our friends with +1 already. Gives us a chance to spend time with the mom before she has a newborn taking so much of her time. We usually do a  raffle for bringing a pack of diapers or frozen casserole theme. More about stocking staples then all the baby gear she might already have.  The coed ones are fun too, there are a lot of backyard BBQ themes for them, and usually more activity oriented. 
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  • We had a shower after my son was born. Mostly because I was on strict bed rest from 30-36 weeks and then he was born at 38 weeks, but my co workers threw a "book shower" for me when he was 2 months old. I liked this, but was also paranoid about germs and everyone wanting to hold him... made a new momma anxious.
    mamaof5already
  • I have a question and don't know where to put it since it could go into two categories! This will be my second child but I didn't have a shower or anything with my first. If a friend wants to throw me a shower is that still "appropriate"? My first will be 1 in just over a month so my registry is going to echo that of a FTM or a STM that doesn't have baby gear or is having twins. 
  • clc515clc515
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    After all the feedback I threw out the idea of early Nov to my SIL also. I didn't even think about prices of venues going up because of Dec, so thanks for that tidbit @ChristmasCookie

    @mamaof5already Coed shower sounds like a fun way to celebrate w your husband as his first kiddo. 
    ChristmasCookie
  • @gymmonkey95 it depends on what is common in your area/circle of friends. In some areas that would be common so not really frowned upon. In others people would think that you are already a mother so why would they throw a shower to welcome you into motherhood? 
    It just depends on your own Norm. Around here people have showers for every baby but I personally can't get on board with that. My last three are only about 15 months apart each and the older one was just starting to out grow things as the new baby got into them (high chairs, infant carriers, clothes). I only needed to get a new crib and a new second stage car seat

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

  • This is my second pregnancy...If i have a girl my mom will go all out on a shower...if we have another boy my girlfriends still want me to do something anywa (smaller). I really believe that you should do what you want! its your baby and honestly I think each one deserves a celebration. However I live in Mexico and thats just what they do here.You dont get sideeyed for having baby showers for each child. Its merely a time for you to celebrate your new child with your nearest and dearest! To each their own !
    gymmonkey95
  • @gymmonkey95 I normally side-eye 2nd baby showers (when the babies are close together and it's the same marriage)--but, if you didn't have any type of shower for the first, I could see the need for a shower/sprinkle/diaper party. In our area "diaper parties" are common for the second child. It is more casual and typically co-ed. 
    ladybug0088mamaof5already
  • My first was a Feb baby as well. We were thrown a January shower. 
  • @gymmonkey95, is say in your case a shower would get definate side eye, as your  babies are close together in age.  What about a sip and see after the baby is born?
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
    magnolia305
  •  thanks everyone for the replies.  I was told yesterday by my mil she will be hosting a shower. So i mentioned it would be a shower  for my dh since i have children already. She told me i have no baby stuff left,  so its for both.  As she starts planning more,  I'll try to direct more towards a daddy and diapers event,  i think that's a great idea. My dh doesn't drink,  not do 1/2 his friends so unfortunately no beer themed for him!


    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
    JaymeMac
  • @gymmonkey95 All of my friends and family have showers for every baby! We are very rural so it's a nice excuse to get together :). If someone is offering to throw you a shower I think definitely should take them up on it :)
    starlaJaymeMacalice0218
  • this is my first baby and I'm planning the shower myself for the second weekend of Jan..is it rude to plan your own shower?
  • this is my first baby and I'm planning the shower myself for the second weekend of Jan..is it rude to plan your own shower?
    Yes, it is very rude too plan your own shower.  It is gift grabby.  If you want to plan an event for baby and yourself to celebrate,   plan a gender reveal,  or a sip and see after the baby is born.  Both of those are non gift giving events. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
    magnolia305TattoosandLace
  • this is my first baby and I'm planning the shower myself for the second weekend of Jan..is it rude to plan your own shower?
    Yes, it is very rude too plan your own shower.  It is gift grabby.  If you want to plan an event for baby and yourself to celebrate,   plan a gender reveal,  or a sip and see after the baby is born.  Both of those are non gift giving events. 
    Just seconding that throwing your own shower for any type of life event is a no-no. Someone will step up and offer to throw one or they won't. It just depends if you have friends who do that sort of thing or know each other or family that lives near you, etc. I am also a FTM and I'm not sure if I'll have a shower. We got married in September and didn't have any wedding or bridal showers. Most of the stuff on our registry we bought for ourselves. Kinda stinks but it is what it is. If you don't have a lot of friends and family nearby then whatever. We'll be fine. Who knows, maybe someone will surprise you, but don't count on that either.
  • This is baby number 6 for us... and we have 5 amazing boys. Here in the deep south, etiquette is typically strongly adhered to except.... most of my circle loves to celebrate a baby. Had a shower for my first... then again for the twins... a small snack party with like 5 friends for the 4th... and the 5th came the day of a surprise shower my friends were throwing (and no we didn't reschedule)...
    No matter what I say... if this is a girl my friends will throw an elaborate shower... which I guess is ok.... (I'm hoping for healthy no matter what)... but I'm certainly not looking for any gift grabbing or special attention
    .. I think all babies should be celebrated 
    JaymeMac
  • ashhsaashhsa
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    Can not believe how civilised this thread has been!  :o :D when I saw a thread called "baby showers" I thought "here we go!!" lol
  • starlastarla
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    In general, I'm of the opinion that if someone offers to throw you shower then you should accept, even if it's not your first. If you don't want it to be a huge event then kindly tell them that you'd prefer a co-ed diaper and beer party, a small BBQ get together, or whatever. Someone loves you and is offering to do something nice for you - let them and say "thank you."
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  • I love the idea of a "sip and see" and never heard of it until this thread!  I also believe every baby should be celebrated and although I don't want any more gifts (STM), I've been feeling a bit sad that we won't be able to celebrate this baby with an event.  Thanks for the idea Bumpies!
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