June 2016 Moms

Baby Sleep Questions

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Re: Baby Sleep Questions

  • So apparently Jackie has only been getting one nap at daycare. I understand because she's easily distracted when there's stuff going on and she wants to stay up and play. I asked them to start trying to put her down for a morning nap since she's been extremely cranky in the evenings lately (much better on weekends when she gets 2 naps). Hopefully this will help her night wakings stop. Sleep begets sleep, right?
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • meggyme said:
    So apparently Jackie has only been getting one nap at daycare. I understand because she's easily distracted when there's stuff going on and she wants to stay up and play. I asked them to start trying to put her down for a morning nap since she's been extremely cranky in the evenings lately (much better on weekends when she gets 2 naps). Hopefully this will help her night wakings stop. Sleep begets sleep, right?
    Damien's the same way if he doesn't get a 2nd nap at daycare. They do try but he just loves playing with all the toys and "talking" to the staff.
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  • Reading this is making me feel so much better. I've been up since 3:30 this morning, when S woke up and decided it was time to play for a couple of hours. He's finally back to sleep, but my alarm is set to go off in 30 minutes, so it's not even worth it for me to try to sleep at this point. Glad to know I'm not alone with crappy sleep!
  • I have a great gentle sleep method but it'll take me a while to write it out for you guys.  I might need a reminder this afternoon. Lol 
  • As an update to our middle of the night waking problem, the last two nights cam is down to only waking once a night, this gives me hope!
  • So we just had our 12 month appointment (at almost 13 months) and the new ped said to let Jackie cry it out when she wakes up before it's time to get up. Wish me luck. Hopefully this won't take too many nights.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Damien is waking once a night again but I wasn't sure if that was due to being in an unfamiliar place. He is also waking up an hour earlier than usual. He STTN tonight but woke at 6am. I ga e him some milk and put him back down, just to see if he would sleep more, and he is now sleeping again. All week I've been assuming he was ready to get up but maybe I was wrong?
  • So cam moved to his own room last night. After crying off and on until 11 he was finally out til 8. I slept gloriously, the cat didn't even come in and bother me, and my husband fell asleep in the basement. What a great night of sleep!
  • Tawny87 said:
    So cam moved to his own room last night. After crying off and on until 11 he was finally out til 8. I slept gloriously, the cat didn't even come in and bother me, and my husband fell asleep in the basement. What a great night of sleep!
    The difference is amazihg, right? I didn't realize the difference until we shared a hotel room with jackie. I heard every snort and sigh and slept horribly. Now I bring ear plugs. Congrats on having your room back!
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • This is going back a bit but we did the Ferber method with Savannah right after her birthday. I was so seriously dreading it but I couldn't continue to feel like a zombie!

    it was the best thing we ever did!! The first night she cried for about 30 minutes (2 check-ins) and woke up once and cried for 12 minutes (1 fheck-in). Since then she has STTN 10-12 hours in her own crib. No more MOTN feedings at all!

    The only drawback is we really need to be home every night to out her to bed by 7,7:30. But I think she was really ready for this routine and needed more sleep. She wakes up around 6am and nurses, and won't go back to sleep at all which is early but still totally worth it.

    Between her STTN and only nursing morning and night I truly feel like a totally different person. She even started napping in her crib now that she's used to being in it! I have time to myself, my house is clean and I have my marriage & sex life back :)

    I know that obviously Ferber doesn't go well for everyone and that a lot of people are against it- but I wanted to share my experience because even though the 30 minutes of  crying broke my heart it has made us all so much happier and healthier, and it was SO much easier than me or DH anticipated.
    Me (31) & DH (32)
    Married 9/27/2014
    DD Born 6/23/16
    Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
  • This is going back a bit but we did the Ferber method with Savannah right after her birthday. I was so seriously dreading it but I couldn't continue to feel like a zombie!

    it was the best thing we ever did!! The first night she cried for about 30 minutes (2 check-ins) and woke up once and cried for 12 minutes (1 fheck-in). Since then she has STTN 10-12 hours in her own crib. No more MOTN feedings at all!

    The only drawback is we really need to be home every night to out her to bed by 7,7:30. But I think she was really ready for this routine and needed more sleep. She wakes up around 6am and nurses, and won't go back to sleep at all which is early but still totally worth it.

    Between her STTN and only nursing morning and night I truly feel like a totally different person. She even started napping in her crib now that she's used to being in it! I have time to myself, my house is clean and I have my marriage & sex life back :)

    I know that obviously Ferber doesn't go well for everyone and that a lot of people are against it- but I wanted to share my experience because even though the 30 minutes of  crying broke my heart it has made us all so much happier and healthier, and it was SO much easier than me or DH anticipated.
    We have kind of had to do this with Cameron recently. He always went to bed and nap in his crib easily before he switched rooms, now he is pissed when he gets put down for bed in the other room. I figure he will get over it eventually
  • Ok so depending on temperament and your own belief there gentle ways of sleep training.  If you have a LO like Savannah, for example, Ferber works great cause it's not a lot of crying and your still checking in to make sure they know you are around.  Usually it's a few days of rough nights then all is good.  However, if you have a LO like Preston who will scream for over an hour or cry so hard they throw up, or if you are dead set against leaving them to cry alone then I suggest the fade out method.  There are many different variations of fading and each will depend on the kid.  If you ladies want I will post a short series of questions on here where you just copy and enter the answers then post, I will give each of you a personalized sleep plan based on the answers you give.  I've hired two sleep consultants and even helped a few of my personal friends with their sleep needs using all I've learned about baby sleep over the past 9 months.   Like this post if you are interested and I'll post the questions.
  • So Jackie refuses to take a morning nap at daycare and then proceeds to be a crank all evening. There's just too much going on for her to relax when everyone else is moving. Any suggestions for transitioning to one nap? Should I just put her to bed early on week nights and let her take 2 naps on the weekend or try and move her bedtime up every night? I feel like this transition is kind of forced, but if she can't sleep in the morning there's not much we can do about it.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • Yeah, as @adiaz132003 said I know that's ferber won't work for everyone. Savannah is super easy going. I was so against it, the thought of actually doing it brought me to tears.

    Just wanted to share in case there are other babies it may work for, because it was so much easier than I thought it would be! I expected nights of crying and having to stop doing it but she totally took the bait!

    Interested to hear more about fading out though!
    Me (31) & DH (32)
    Married 9/27/2014
    DD Born 6/23/16
    Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
  • meggyme said:
    So Jackie refuses to take a morning nap at daycare and then proceeds to be a crank all evening. There's just too much going on for her to relax when everyone else is moving. Any suggestions for transitioning to one nap? Should I just put her to bed early on week nights and let her take 2 naps on the weekend or try and move her bedtime up every night? I feel like this transition is kind of forced, but if she can't sleep in the morning there's not much we can do about it.
    What has worked for my kids was on days we we're home I delayed the nap about an hour so they were a little more tired and kept sleeping. Cam's naps are anywhere between 2-4 hours now.
  • The tricky part is that at home she'll take 2 naps no problem because it's quiet and she's away from everyone and all the toys. But at daycare, she's in the same room, just in a bouncer so she won't settle and take a nap. Do you think I shouldn't do 1 nap everyday or 2 naps on weekends and let her be cranky with 1 nap on week days?
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • meggyme said:
    The tricky part is that at home she'll take 2 naps no problem because it's quiet and she's away from everyone and all the toys. But at daycare, she's in the same room, just in a bouncer so she won't settle and take a nap. Do you think I shouldn't do 1 nap everyday or 2 naps on weekends and let her be cranky with 1 nap on week days?
    She might be better if you could get her trained to one long nap on the weekend, it may carry over to weekdays too
  • Copy and fill in the answers!

    Sleep environment *dark/light room, crib or cosleep, white noise ect*:


    Bedtime routine *be as detailed as possible*


    Number and time of night wakings and what you do to soothe back to sleep:


    Bedtime and wake time *ex 8:30pm-8:30am*:


    Nap routine *be detailed*:


    Number, time and length of naps *ex, one nap, 1:30pm, 2-2.5 hours*:


    How much crying can you tolerate?
    A, none, I want a gentle method even if it takes longer
    B, some crying and fussing ok as long as I can be next to them giving comfort
    C, ok with leaving the room and doing check-ins
    D, ok with CIO as long as it doesn't go on too long. 

    What is you end goal?
    *Ex, to be able to put down without rocking or nursing, to have then sleep in own bed/crib, to put down in crib and leave room, ect*


    Extended goals/extras, *sleeping in pack in play, someone other than Mom doing nap/bedtime routines, dropping naps ect*:

  • artlea2013artlea2013 member
    edited July 2017
    I'll get the ball rolling so you all have something to feel better about your LOs sleep


    Sleep environment *dark/light room, crib or cosleep, white noise ect*: Blinds and door pulled to minimize outside light/noise, but a nightlight in the opposite corner of the room from his crib. Enough light so that I don't trip over the glider footrest, but not enough to read my books. Usually, the overhead fan or air filter is on for a light white noise


    Bedtime routine *be as detailed as possible* Oh boy. Diaper change, vitamin, lotion, pajamas all in his room. Then out to the upstairs living room, same floor as his room, for 5 to 10 minutes of books, including a light fruit/cup of milk snack. Brush teeth, good night hugs, then back to his room to rock to sleep. If he demands to nurse at night, it's usually done in the living room to try to disassociate it from the actual going to sleep part, but occasionally done in his room. He gets a bath as part of the night time routine one day a week, and that's always done first.


    Number and time of night wakings and what you do to soothe back to sleep: Sleeps through the night about half of the time. Of the remaining half, half of that he wakes 1 to 2 times and can be rocked for 15 minutes and put back down. The last quarter includes tossing and grunting like he's uncomfortable so much for 30 minutes to an hour while rocking that I'm afraid I'm going to drop him in my tired stupor, so I just move him to my room and plop him in bed with DH. Laying in my bed, he requires no assistance to go to sleep. Go figure


    Bedtime and wake time *ex 8:30pm-8:30am*: Oh boy again. We try to start getting ready around 8:15 if it's not bath night (that's not to imply that I only bathe the child one day a week, his weekend bath is just done during the daytime before church) with a goal to be in his room with lights out by 8:30 to 40 at the latest. In the last two weeks he's up at 5:30 demanding to be fed, and will usually then go back to sleep for 60 to 90 minutes. He could sleep during the week until around 7:30 before he needed to be awake if he would wait that long


    Nap routine *be detailed*: He's at my mom's house during the week, so I don't know exactly. Assuming that she partly watches the clock, but mostly watches him for tired cues. He get's rocked to sleep there, I think, but I don't know in what type of environment. At home on the weekends, half the time we end up on the go or out at the in-laws they get the weekend time to compensate for all week with my parents. When a miracle happens and we are at home, I tend to follow his cues within an hour window of when nap time *should* be and then offer a light snack followed by his room with blinds pulled to rock.


    Number, time and length of naps *ex, one nap, 1:30pm, 2-2.5 hours*: Still two naps with no hints that will change anytime soon. Morning, around 10 am unless it's a rough night, then earlier, afternoon around 3. Often an hour to two hours each, about 3 hours in total.


    How much crying can you tolerate?
    A, none, I want a gentle method even if it takes longer
    B, some crying and fussing ok as long as I can be next to them giving comfort
    C, ok with leaving the room and doing check-ins
    D, ok with CIO as long as it doesn't go on too long. 
    Can I say that I can personally be ok with C, my husband is ok with B, and Miles seems to scream himself into vomiting with anything that's not A. Seriously, I can be sitting right next to his crib, even holding his hand and rubbing his back (while he stands because he will not lie down no matter if I gently put him back down 2 dozen times. Yes, that happened once) and he's screaming and gagging

    What is you end goal?
    *Ex, to be able to put down without rocking or nursing, to have then sleep in own bed/crib, to put down in crib and leave room, ect* In the mystical-unicorn-laden-fields fantasy end, I would like to be able to put him down in his crib, say goodnight, and leave the room. But I don't even know if I'm ready for that yet, so more practically/immediately, I would like to be able to sit next to him while he falls asleep without needing to be rocked, *or* have DH sit next to him. Right now, it has to be me who puts him to sleep


    Extended goals/extras, *sleeping in pack in play, someone other than Mom doing nap/bedtime routines, dropping naps ect*: That unicorn field. Also, pushing back that 5-5:30 am wake up time demanding to be fed
    Me: 32 DH: 31 *The old lady by 5 whole weeks*
    Married: 11/2013
    M: 6/2016  E: 5/2018
  • Copy and fill in the answers!

    Sleep environment *dark/light room, crib or cosleep, white noise ect*:

    Crib in his nursery with a white noise machine. I’ve been wanting blackout curtains since he arrived and have yet to get them. The current ones do a really good job except for a couple of spots so I can’t say that it’s total darkness in there for now.

    Bedtime routine *be as detailed as possible*

    On bath-nights, we give him his bath after he eats his dinner so it’s usually bathtime at 6:30ish. I give him a little bedtime snack at around 6:50pm (experimenting to see if that helps with STTN). We play and read (I read aloud while he plays) in the living room post-dinner/bathtime (or pretty much everywhere but the nursery) until he starts getting fussy and/or rubbing his eyes. That usually happens anywhere between 7pm and 7:30pm, on the rare occasion it will be more like 7:45ish. If it isn’t a bath-night, he’ll be changed into his PJs at that point. I turn on the white noise machine, set up the humidifier (if he has congestion, which is pretty much always at this point), and clear out his nose with saline solution and NoseFrida. My husband says goodnight to him at that point, turns off the light, and closes the door. I cradle/cuddle with Damien as he drinks some milk and I brush his teeth (not gonna lie, I forget to do that part all the time). We then quietly cuddle for couple of minutes, at which point he starts to reach for his crib and I lay him down.

    Number and time of night wakings and what you do to soothe back to sleep:

    Currently back to waking up 1x a night, usually early morning. If I’m being diligent, I go in only if he is doing his hard-cry, at which point I rub his back until he calms down and leave. If that doesn’t soothe him, I pick him up until he is completely calm, and then put him back down and leave the nursery. I’ll wait 5min before going back in if he’s still crying and repeating the above. If after trying for 30-45min he is still going at it, I give him some milk or water/milk mixed (depending on how I’m feeling I guess). Milk is still the quickest and foolproof way to get him down for the rest of the night but I don’t want it to be a habit. The past few nights I’ve been giving him the milk straight away, mostly because I’m just so exhausted, don’t have the energy to go through 30-45min of crying during the weekdays so I try to at least do it on the weekends.

    All that said, he doesn’t wake up every night, he does have a 1-2 STTNs each week. He often wakes during other points of the night but I don’t keep track because he puts himself back to sleep.

    Bedtime and wake time *ex 8:30pm-8:30am*:
    7/7:30pm – 6:30/7am (on weekends he sometimes sleeps in until 7:30/8am but not often).

    Nap routine *be detailed*:
    I only have to do naps on the weekend since he does those during the week at daycare. If he wakes up at around 7am on Saturday, he’ll usually be ready for his morning nap at around 9:30am. Kind of like with bedtime, he’ll start to rub his eyes and lay his head on my shoulder (or just lay on the floor for a second). I turn on the white noise machine in his nursery and turn off the light. I then lay him in his crib and close the door behind me. He usually fusses and/or babbles for 10-15min before he falls asleep. Naptime used to be such a battle for us, so I’m enjoying this period of relatively easy naptimes.

    Number, time and length of naps *ex, one nap, 1:30pm, 2-2.5 hours*:
    Normally it’s 2 naps (during the weekday he might squeeze in 3rd nap during the car ride home); 9:30am (appx.) for 1.5-2hrs and then an afternoon nap at around 2pm (appx.) for 2-3hrs. His naps are shorter at daycare but on the weekends, they’re pretty long.

    How much crying can you tolerate?
    A, none, I want a gentle method even if it takes longer
    B, some crying and fussing ok as long as I can be next to them giving comfort
    C, ok with leaving the room and doing check-ins

    D, ok with CIO as long as it doesn't go on too long. 

     C is just fine with me but I’m not opposed to CIO either as a last-ditch effort.


    What is you end goal?
    *Ex, to be able to put down without rocking or nursing, to have then sleep in own bed/crib, to put down in crib and leave room, ect*
    I’m pretty happy with our bedtime/naptime routines, they’re both fairly easy (knock on wood) and he goes down without a fight more often than not (knocking on more wood).

    Extended goals/extras, *sleeping in pack in play, someone other than Mom doing nap/bedtime routines, dropping naps ect*:

    At this point, my husband is now trying to put him down at least 1-2 times a week. Damien still goes down okay on those nights but has more of a tendency to fuss a little. I’d like for him to be more comfortable with someone other than me, especially my husband, putting him down. He doesn’t seem ready to drop a nap yet but I also know that he can do 1 if absolutely necessary but it’s a gamble on if he’ll be Mr. Crankypants or not.

  • I'll get the ball rolling so you all have something to feel better about your LOs sleep


    Sleep environment *dark/light room, crib or cosleep, white noise ect*: Blinds and door pulled to minimize outside light/noise, but a nightlight in the opposite corner of the room from his crib. Enough light so that I don't trip over the glider footrest, but not enough to read my books. Usually, the overhead fan or air filter is on for a light white noise


    Bedtime routine *be as detailed as possible* Oh boy. Diaper change, vitamin, lotion, pajamas all in his room. Then out to the upstairs living room, same floor as his room, for 5 to 10 minutes of books, including a light fruit/cup of milk snack. Brush teeth, good night hugs, then back to his room to rock to sleep. If he demands to nurse at night, it's usually done in the living room to try to disassociate it from the actual going to sleep part, but occasionally done in his room. He gets a bath as part of the night time routine one day a week, and that's always done first.


    Number and time of night wakings and what you do to soothe back to sleep: Sleeps through the night about half of the time. Of the remaining half, half of that he wakes 1 to 2 times and can be rocked for 15 minutes and put back down. The last quarter includes tossing and grunting like he's uncomfortable so much for 30 minutes to an hour while rocking that I'm afraid I'm going to drop him in my tired stupor, so I just move him to my room and plop him in bed with DH. Laying in my bed, he requires no assistance to go to sleep. Go figure


    Bedtime and wake time *ex 8:30pm-8:30am*: Oh boy again. We try to start getting ready around 8:15 if it's not bath night (that's not to imply that I only bathe the child one day a week, his weekend bath is just done during the daytime before church) with a goal to be in his room with lights out by 8:30 to 40 at the latest. In the last two weeks he's up at 5:30 demanding to be fed, and will usually then go back to sleep for 60 to 90 minutes. He could sleep during the week until around 7:30 before he needed to be awake if he would wait that long


    Nap routine *be detailed*: He's at my mom's house during the week, so I don't know exactly. Assuming that she partly watches the clock, but mostly watches him for tired cues. He get's rocked to sleep there, I think, but I don't know in what type of environment. At home on the weekends, half the time we end up on the go or out at the in-laws they get the weekend time to compensate for all week with my parents. When a miracle happens and we are at home, I tend to follow his cues within an hour window of when nap time *should* be and then offer a light snack followed by his room with blinds pulled to rock.


    Number, time and length of naps *ex, one nap, 1:30pm, 2-2.5 hours*: Still two naps with no hints that will change anytime soon. Morning, around 10 am unless it's a rough night, then earlier, afternoon around 3. Often an hour to two hours each, about 3 hours in total.


    How much crying can you tolerate?
    A, none, I want a gentle method even if it takes longer
    B, some crying and fussing ok as long as I can be next to them giving comfort
    C, ok with leaving the room and doing check-ins
    D, ok with CIO as long as it doesn't go on too long. 
    Can I say that I can personally be ok with C, my husband is ok with B, and Miles seems to scream himself into vomiting with anything that's not A. Seriously, I can be sitting right next to his crib, even holding his hand and rubbing his back (while he stands because he will not lie down no matter if I gently put him back down 2 dozen times. Yes, that happened once) and he's screaming and gagging

    What is you end goal?
    *Ex, to be able to put down without rocking or nursing, to have then sleep in own bed/crib, to put down in crib and leave room, ect* In the mystical-unicorn-laden-fields fantasy end, I would like to be able to put him down in his crib, say goodnight, and leave the room. But I don't even know if I'm ready for that yet, so more practically/immediately, I would like to be able to sit next to him while he falls asleep without needing to be rocked, *or* have DH sit next to him. Right now, it has to be me who puts him to sleep


    Extended goals/extras, *sleeping in pack in play, someone other than Mom doing nap/bedtime routines, dropping naps ect*: That unicorn field. Also, pushing back that 5-5:30 am wake up time demanding to be fed
     

    Sounds like he would be a good candidate for a slower fading method that we allow some flexibility for naps.   Even though you would be ok with intermittent check in, DH isn't and that'd be best cause you also want to keep him as calm as possible so he doesn't gag and start associating bedtime with that bad feeling.  Since your goal is to have him. Fall asleep with you in the room, it will be easier, usually leaving the room is the part that takes the longest but getting him to fall asleep somewhere other than your arms will be one of the hardest.

    Let's start by doing a short and simple routine. That is exactly the same each night.  For example, in our house, sometimes he gets a bath and sometimes a snack, sometimes we have light play and sometimes we cuddle but the 15 min before bed are always exactly the same and in the same order so he knows what to expect when.  I suggest nursing first, in his room is fine as long as he isn't falling asleep while nursing, then PJs, teeth, books then lights out and rock to sleep.   Do this routine for 3-4 days before the next step.  

    Once he's used to the new routine start to rock slower and slower each night until he can fall asleep with zero movement,. This is a key step to reduce tears!!  This steps can take up to a week depending on how long it takes for him to fall asleep.  

    Once he is falling asleep in your arms without any movement for 2-3 days in a row, tag me in a post here that you are ready for him start falling asleep in the crib.

  • Copy and fill in the answers!

    Sleep environment *dark/light room, crib or cosleep, white noise ect*:

    Crib in his nursery with a white noise machine. I’ve been wanting blackout curtains since he arrived and have yet to get them. The current ones do a really good job except for a couple of spots so I can’t say that it’s total darkness in there for now.

    Bedtime routine *be as detailed as possible*

    On bath-nights, we give him his bath after he eats his dinner so it’s usually bathtime at 6:30ish. I give him a little bedtime snack at around 6:50pm (experimenting to see if that helps with STTN). We play and read (I read aloud while he plays) in the living room post-dinner/bathtime (or pretty much everywhere but the nursery) until he starts getting fussy and/or rubbing his eyes. That usually happens anywhere between 7pm and 7:30pm, on the rare occasion it will be more like 7:45ish. If it isn’t a bath-night, he’ll be changed into his PJs at that point. I turn on the white noise machine, set up the humidifier (if he has congestion, which is pretty much always at this point), and clear out his nose with saline solution and NoseFrida. My husband says goodnight to him at that point, turns off the light, and closes the door. I cradle/cuddle with Damien as he drinks some milk and I brush his teeth (not gonna lie, I forget to do that part all the time). We then quietly cuddle for couple of minutes, at which point he starts to reach for his crib and I lay him down.

    Number and time of night wakings and what you do to soothe back to sleep:

    Currently back to waking up 1x a night, usually early morning. If I’m being diligent, I go in only if he is doing his hard-cry, at which point I rub his back until he calms down and leave. If that doesn’t soothe him, I pick him up until he is completely calm, and then put him back down and leave the nursery. I’ll wait 5min before going back in if he’s still crying and repeating the above. If after trying for 30-45min he is still going at it, I give him some milk or water/milk mixed (depending on how I’m feeling I guess). Milk is still the quickest and foolproof way to get him down for the rest of the night but I don’t want it to be a habit. The past few nights I’ve been giving him the milk straight away, mostly because I’m just so exhausted, don’t have the energy to go through 30-45min of crying during the weekdays so I try to at least do it on the weekends.

    All that said, he doesn’t wake up every night, he does have a 1-2 STTNs each week. He often wakes during other points of the night but I don’t keep track because he puts himself back to sleep.

    Bedtime and wake time *ex 8:30pm-8:30am*:
    7/7:30pm – 6:30/7am (on weekends he sometimes sleeps in until 7:30/8am but not often).

    Nap routine *be detailed*:
    I only have to do naps on the weekend since he does those during the week at daycare. If he wakes up at around 7am on Saturday, he’ll usually be ready for his morning nap at around 9:30am. Kind of like with bedtime, he’ll start to rub his eyes and lay his head on my shoulder (or just lay on the floor for a second). I turn on the white noise machine in his nursery and turn off the light. I then lay him in his crib and close the door behind me. He usually fusses and/or babbles for 10-15min before he falls asleep. Naptime used to be such a battle for us, so I’m enjoying this period of relatively easy naptimes.

    Number, time and length of naps *ex, one nap, 1:30pm, 2-2.5 hours*:
    Normally it’s 2 naps (during the weekday he might squeeze in 3rd nap during the car ride home); 9:30am (appx.) for 1.5-2hrs and then an afternoon nap at around 2pm (appx.) for 2-3hrs. His naps are shorter at daycare but on the weekends, they’re pretty long.

    How much crying can you tolerate?
    A, none, I want a gentle method even if it takes longer
    B, some crying and fussing ok as long as I can be next to them giving comfort
    C, ok with leaving the room and doing check-ins

    D, ok with CIO as long as it doesn't go on too long. 

     C is just fine with me but I’m not opposed to CIO either as a last-ditch effort.


    What is you end goal?
    *Ex, to be able to put down without rocking or nursing, to have then sleep in own bed/crib, to put down in crib and leave room, ect*
    I’m pretty happy with our bedtime/naptime routines, they’re both fairly easy (knock on wood) and he goes down without a fight more often than not (knocking on more wood).

    Extended goals/extras, *sleeping in pack in play, someone other than Mom doing nap/bedtime routines, dropping naps ect*:

    At this point, my husband is now trying to put him down at least 1-2 times a week. Damien still goes down okay on those nights but has more of a tendency to fuss a little. I’d like for him to be more comfortable with someone other than me, especially my husband, putting him down. He doesn’t seem ready to drop a nap yet but I also know that he can do 1 if absolutely necessary but it’s a gamble on if he’ll be Mr. Crankypants or not.

     Start having DH involved with more of the bedtime routine for a few new nights, the reading and PJs/brushing teeth.  Then have him stay during the cuddles and have him leave right before he goes in the crib.  Then switch roles and have him read and do PJs while you are around.  When you feel ready have him do the cuddles while you still have a hand on him or if he's doing fine, just sitting next to them and have DH put him to bed.  There may be some fuss but it should be much less.  From that point on have DH put him to bed every other night until there is no fussing.  

    The early morning waking is the hardest to solve and can take quite a while before it's gone.  Once he used to your DH soothing him to bed then you can take turns on who goes in during that time.  Since he doesn't get milk every time I wouldn't give him any from this point on.  It will only confuse him and could make it worse.  If he calms down faster if you stay in the room then you can try the chair method.

    Out the chair next to the crib and respond right away to the cry in the morning and soothe right in the crib with your voice and a gentle touch (try to leave out physical touch as long as he's calm. More on that later).  If the crying is just fussing the leave him in the crib but DO NOT leave until you know he's asleep (trying to sneak out or leaving too soon can make him cry longer since he knows that you leave when he stops) if the crying is hysterical then you can pick him up for a few minutes till he calms down but don't let him fall asleep in your arms.  Once calm put him back down and try again.

    After 2-3 nights move the chair halfway to the door and soothe with just your voice.  You can still pick him up if hysterical at this point but remember to sit right back in the chair as soon as he's in the crib.

    After another 2-3 days move chair by the door and repeat.  Once he can re-fall asleep with you by the door, then we will move to the next step.
  • @adiaz132003 My husband is part of the bathtime, reading/playing, PJs, giving of medicine, and clearing out his nose parts (the medicine and nose stuff is kind of a two-man job haha). Up until Damien was about 8 months old, he stayed in the nursery with us until Damien was actually laid in the crib and then we'd leave together. Around that age, Damien was becoming too distracted by him being in the room, which is why he slowly stopped staying in the room. We should have worked on him putting Damien down much earlier I think but just didn't think to do so until recently. Damien does pretty well with him putting him down, just fusses for a minute or two and then he's out. It doesn't seem to bother him that much. It will take a few times before Damien goes down as easily with him as he does with me. It's worth trying out having my husband back in the room for the last bit again, maybe get some family cuddle-time. That would be nice!

    I did sleep training with Damien back around March to work on his nightly wakings and started with going in and rubbing his back while he was in the crib until he was calm and nearly asleep. If he still cried at that point, I waited a few minutes before going in and doing the same thing. After that, I increased the wait time little by little, this was over the course of a week, and then ended up doing the COI method for the final 1-2 nights. The only times I picked him up out of the crib is if he was crying to the point of hyperventilating (you know, that awesome hard-cry). He STTN for a while, minus nights when he was super congested and just needed to have his nose cleared. I read somewhere (no idea where) that leaving after he goes to sleep might cause him to panic moreso when he wakes and sees I'm not there ("I go to sleep and Mommy is there, I wake and she's gone."). I imagine it depends on the baby in that regard. 

    Thanks for the tips :-) Very thorough, much appreciated!!
  • @adiaz132003 My husband is part of the bathtime, reading/playing, PJs, giving of medicine, and clearing out his nose parts (the medicine and nose stuff is kind of a two-man job haha). Up until Damien was about 8 months old, he stayed in the nursery with us until Damien was actually laid in the crib and then we'd leave together. Around that age, Damien was becoming too distracted by him being in the room, which is why he slowly stopped staying in the room. We should have worked on him putting Damien down much earlier I think but just didn't think to do so until recently. Damien does pretty well with him putting him down, just fusses for a minute or two and then he's out. It doesn't seem to bother him that much. It will take a few times before Damien goes down as easily with him as he does with me. It's worth trying out having my husband back in the room for the last bit again, maybe get some family cuddle-time. That would be nice!

    I did sleep training with Damien back around March to work on his nightly wakings and started with going in and rubbing his back while he was in the crib until he was calm and nearly asleep. If he still cried at that point, I waited a few minutes before going in and doing the same thing. After that, I increased the wait time little by little, this was over the course of a week, and then ended up doing the COI method for the final 1-2 nights. The only times I picked him up out of the crib is if he was crying to the point of hyperventilating (you know, that awesome hard-cry). He STTN for a while, minus nights when he was super congested and just needed to have his nose cleared. I read somewhere (no idea where) that leaving after he goes to sleep might cause him to panic moreso when he wakes and sees I'm not there ("I go to sleep and Mommy is there, I wake and she's gone."). I imagine it depends on the baby in that regard. 

    Thanks for the tips :-) Very thorough, much appreciated!!

    Since he already falls asleep independently that doesn't really apply to him.  For a kid who "needs" mom or dad there to fall asleep they may wake up and be upset when they realize you're not there but when sleep training this kids you have to rush is as soon as they cry so that they have comfort inn at least knowing that Mom and dad show up right away which brings them some relief.   Sounds like then maybe some fine tuning is needed but maybe give it a couple weeks to see if he goes back to STTN or if it gets worse at which time we can take a more detailed look at what is going on.  Sometimes the weirdest things cause wake ups.  For Preston we can not let him fall asleep in our arms at bedtime cause he is garenteed to wake up exactly 45 min later wondering where I am.  Otherwise I put hi. In the crib, say goodnight and walk out and he falls asleep without a peep.
  • @adiaz132003 My husband is part of the bathtime, reading/playing, PJs, giving of medicine, and clearing out his nose parts (the medicine and nose stuff is kind of a two-man job haha). Up until Damien was about 8 months old, he stayed in the nursery with us until Damien was actually laid in the crib and then we'd leave together. Around that age, Damien was becoming too distracted by him being in the room, which is why he slowly stopped staying in the room. We should have worked on him putting Damien down much earlier I think but just didn't think to do so until recently. Damien does pretty well with him putting him down, just fusses for a minute or two and then he's out. It doesn't seem to bother him that much. It will take a few times before Damien goes down as easily with him as he does with me. It's worth trying out having my husband back in the room for the last bit again, maybe get some family cuddle-time. That would be nice!

    I did sleep training with Damien back around March to work on his nightly wakings and started with going in and rubbing his back while he was in the crib until he was calm and nearly asleep. If he still cried at that point, I waited a few minutes before going in and doing the same thing. After that, I increased the wait time little by little, this was over the course of a week, and then ended up doing the COI method for the final 1-2 nights. The only times I picked him up out of the crib is if he was crying to the point of hyperventilating (you know, that awesome hard-cry). He STTN for a while, minus nights when he was super congested and just needed to have his nose cleared. I read somewhere (no idea where) that leaving after he goes to sleep might cause him to panic moreso when he wakes and sees I'm not there ("I go to sleep and Mommy is there, I wake and she's gone."). I imagine it depends on the baby in that regard. 

    Thanks for the tips :-) Very thorough, much appreciated!!

    Since he already falls asleep independently that doesn't really apply to him.  For a kid who "needs" mom or dad there to fall asleep they may wake up and be upset when they realize you're not there but when sleep training this kids you have to rush is as soon as they cry so that they have comfort inn at least knowing that Mom and dad show up right away which brings them some relief.   Sounds like then maybe some fine tuning is needed but maybe give it a couple weeks to see if he goes back to STTN or if it gets worse at which time we can take a more detailed look at what is going on.  Sometimes the weirdest things cause wake ups.  For Preston we can not let him fall asleep in our arms at bedtime cause he is garenteed to wake up exactly 45 min later wondering where I am.  Otherwise I put hi. In the crib, say goodnight and walk out and he falls asleep without a peep.
    I'm hoping he'll go back to STTN more regularly sooner rather than later but definitely open to sleep training again if that doesn't seem to be the case. I just have to mentally prepare myself for a few exhausting nights  ;) 
  • Copy and fill in the answers!

    Sleep environment *dark/light room, crib or cosleep, white noise ect*:
    In his house and grandma's house, it's a dark room. If we're at home, there's a mobile that glows several colors. Elsewhere, pitch dark. He sleeps in his own crib in his own room since 5m old, but never minded his crib as a newborn.


    Bedtime routine *be as detailed as possible*
    we start his bath at around 8pm and let him splash around to his heart's content. Then we change to PJs, give him some milk, then place him in his crib. Turn the mobile on, then leave. He might cry sometimes, but he usually just rolls around then sleeps. He's down by 8:30pm, although we've been in California the last month so his bedtime was much later.


    Number and time of night wakings and what you do to soothe back to sleep:
    He has been STTN since 5 months old. on the rare occasion he wakes up crying, we just toss a blanket over him and he stops. Mainly, he may wake up if he's sick in which then he gets medicine and a cool bath.

    Bedtime and wake time *ex 8:30pm-8:30am*:
    8:30pm to about 7:30-8:30am. Weekends after a long week at daycare, he pushes until 9--9:30

    Nap routine *be detailed*:
    Place him in the crib, give him milk, and lleave the room.

    Number, time and length of naps *ex, one nap, 1:30pm, 2-2.5 hours*:
    1 nap per day is the usual, sometimes 2 if he's extra tired. His one nap is usually 1-3hours long and it's around 12:30-1:00pm that he goes down. He's usually sleepy again by 6pm but we just make sure he stays up until bedtime. At daycare, all babies are down at 11:30am. He only takes one nap there.

    How much crying can you tolerate?
    A, none, I want a gentle method even if it takes longer
    B, some crying and fussing ok as long as I can be next to them giving comfort
    C, ok with leaving the room and doing check-insD, ok with CIO as long as it doesn't go on too long. 

    What is you end goal?
    *Ex, to be able to put down without rocking or nursing, to have then sleep in own bed/crib, to put down in crib and leave room, ect*


    Extended goals/extras, *sleeping in pack in play, someone other than Mom doing nap/bedtime routines, dropping naps ect*: To sleep wherever we want him to, lol!
  • How are you guys doing with sleep training? Anyone ready to move to the next step?
  • How are you guys doing with sleep training? Anyone ready to move to the next step?
    Getting there. He just takes a long time to calm down, but Miles will eventually fall asleep in my arms sans rocking in the last couple nights. Well... not last night. Last night he cried for 2 hours after waking up at 10 pm for some reason. Sitting, rocking, walking, lying him down, lying down next to him, nothing worked. He would be quiet for 30-45 seconds, then toss-toss, and cry for a minute until he rearranged and restarted the cycle (as long as I was touching him). No fever, no rash, no obvious pain. Finally broke out a low Tylenol dose as he just didn't seem comfortable with something. I'll let you know when we're back on track after whatever the heck happened last night
    Me: 32 DH: 31 *The old lady by 5 whole weeks*
    Married: 11/2013
    M: 6/2016  E: 5/2018
  • Damien's been STTN since Saturday night and my husband has been successful with putting him to bed. He didn't fuss at all when my husband put him down. We'll see how next week goes since my husband will be gone tomorrow - Sunday evening so Damien won't see him again until Monday. 
  • How are you guys doing with sleep training? Anyone ready to move to the next step?
    Getting there. He just takes a long time to calm down, but Miles will eventually fall asleep in my arms sans rocking in the last couple nights. Well... not last night. Last night he cried for 2 hours after waking up at 10 pm for some reason. Sitting, rocking, walking, lying him down, lying down next to him, nothing worked. He would be quiet for 30-45 seconds, then toss-toss, and cry for a minute until he rearranged and restarted the cycle (as long as I was touching him). No fever, no rash, no obvious pain. Finally broke out a low Tylenol dose as he just didn't seem comfortable with something. I'll let you know when we're back on track after whatever the heck happened last night
    Turns out, this was a tooth. Another of the front 4 on the bottom. This kid is such a terrible teether, I may just break down whenever we get to molars. He's back to being able to fall asleep without the actual rocking motion, but still needs to be in my lap for quite a while (20 min+) with me talking to him and laying him over to help calm him down so that he falls asleep there. Hmmm... any advice on that @adiaz132003 If I put him in his crib right now drowsy or awake he stands up, cries, and reaches for me. When I pick him up, he points to the rocking chair  :/
    Me: 32 DH: 31 *The old lady by 5 whole weeks*
    Married: 11/2013
    M: 6/2016  E: 5/2018
  • How are you guys doing with sleep training? Anyone ready to move to the next step?
    Getting there. He just takes a long time to calm down, but Miles will eventually fall asleep in my arms sans rocking in the last couple nights. Well... not last night. Last night he cried for 2 hours after waking up at 10 pm for some reason. Sitting, rocking, walking, lying him down, lying down next to him, nothing worked. He would be quiet for 30-45 seconds, then toss-toss, and cry for a minute until he rearranged and restarted the cycle (as long as I was touching him). No fever, no rash, no obvious pain. Finally broke out a low Tylenol dose as he just didn't seem comfortable with something. I'll let you know when we're back on track after whatever the heck happened last night
    Turns out, this was a tooth. Another of the front 4 on the bottom. This kid is such a terrible teether, I may just break down whenever we get to molars. He's back to being able to fall asleep without the actual rocking motion, but still needs to be in my lap for quite a while (20 min+) with me talking to him and laying him over to help calm him down so that he falls asleep there. Hmmm... any advice on that @adiaz132003 If I put him in his crib right now drowsy or awake he stands up, cries, and reaches for me. When I pick him up, he points to the rocking chair  :/
     Ok this is the point where actually sleep coaching starts.  He wants to be held but you're gonna teach him to be happy with a touch instead.  The first few nights are the hardest but it gets way better after that.  Put him down and when he stands up, just lay him down and say goodnight but leave a hand on him for comfort.  He'll get up again but then just sit there "sshh"ing and keeping calm.  Eventually he'll know he's not getting out and will have to settle with you right there with him.  The longest this took us was an hour before he gave up, the second night was like 45 min, then 15 and the crying he did was less intense each time.  I follow the 5-5-5 rule.  Put him down, and let him try to go to sleep on his own for 5 min, if crying start rubbing, patting, singing whatever may calm him down for another 5 min.  If that still doesn't work and he's hysterical, pick up and hold him next to the crib for 5 min but make sure he doesn't fall asleep (if he calms down right away and get drowsy lay down before the 5 min is up)  Once calm lay back down and repeat.
  • So, Jackie has been waking up between 5-6am when she used to sleep until 7. Usually she hears the dog going down the stairs and starts crying. Idk what to do about it but it's driving me crazy because I can't get ready for work before having to deal with her and then I'm juggling getting both of us ready to leave. Any suggestions. She uses a sound machine and I've tried closing the baby gate at the top of the stairs but then the dog whines to be let down and the same problem exists.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • meggyme said:
    So, Jackie has been waking up between 5-6am when she used to sleep until 7. Usually she hears the dog going down the stairs and starts crying. Idk what to do about it but it's driving me crazy because I can't get ready for work before having to deal with her and then I'm juggling getting both of us ready to leave. Any suggestions. She uses a sound machine and I've tried closing the baby gate at the top of the stairs but then the dog whines to be let down and the same problem exists.
    Could you make the dog sleep downstairs?
  • meggyme said:
    So, Jackie has been waking up between 5-6am when she used to sleep until 7. Usually she hears the dog going down the stairs and starts crying. Idk what to do about it but it's driving me crazy because I can't get ready for work before having to deal with her and then I'm juggling getting both of us ready to leave. Any suggestions. She uses a sound machine and I've tried closing the baby gate at the top of the stairs but then the dog whines to be let down and the same problem exists.

    Could be a ohase too.  Preston had a period of time where if anything woke him up at that hour (DH taking his shower for example) he'd wake up crying.  I'm told that if there is any part of the night that is the hardest for kids to sleep, it's then because sleep is not o ly at it's lightest but most of the sleep pressure is off so their bodies have more energy that's fighting that little bit of extra sleep they need.  Lucky us right?  It passed for Preston and unless he's teething, he sleeps till 8ish.  I hope it passes for you soon.  You have it harder cause you have to get ready for work. :(
  • The dog would cry all night if he didn't sleep in our room with us. Most nights he's in bed upstairs before we are. I'm sure it is a phase, but it's so exhausting!
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • How are your little ones doing with sleep?
    My LO's sleep has evolved lol. He's in bed by 8:30pm and I have to wake him up at 7am for daycare.
    Man, is it a struggle. He's fast asleep when I go in the nursery and I usually nudge him. He'll roll over and ignore me. So i keep at it and he'll finally open his eyes and sit up, but then keep his eyes half closed. Finally, I'll reach down to pick him up and he will crawl faster than lightning to the edge of the crib. I try again and he crawls away. Then he locks his arms to his sides so that I cannot pick him up from his underarms. I end up having to pick him up from the stomach. He'll cry and whine a bit then try to fall asleep on the changing table. every morning this kid fights me to get out of bed. DH and I contemplated putting him to bed a little bit earlier, say 8pm. He usually wakes around 9-10am on weekends. We thought he might be waking up in the middle of the night or something, but no. I guess his room is nice and quiet.
  • @Delitachan I wish I had that problem. I used to be able to nurse Jackie and she'd sleep an extra half hour or so before I get her ready for daycare. Now she wakes up 30mins- an hour before my alarm and she's running around underfoot while I'm trying to get ready and make coffee. I also have to share my breakfast with her now otherwise she follows me around saying "bite please..."
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
  • @Delitachan I wish I had that problem!  Lol. Ethan is in bed by 7:30pm ususally and wakes up at 5:30am. Lol. This boy doesn't sleep in. Ever. 
  • @Delitachan an earlier bedtime will help and I'd wake him by 8 on weekends.  I'd even go as far to say bedtime at 7:30.  
  • @Delitachan bedtime starts anywhere between 7:15 to 7:30 at our house.  He is generally out like a light no later than 8.  He does generally stir around 6:30am but will either chill or fall back asleep until 7:30am.  It has been working perfectly for us.  He, like your son, does not like being woken up.  Even if he does kind of wake up in the middle of the night, I will not intervene unless I am sure he is fully awake.  It is not pretty if we misjudge that.
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