STM+ Sh*t my kid says... — The Bump
January 2018 Moms

STM+ Sh*t my kid says...

I am not a STM, but saw this thread while lurking on another birth month club and was cracking up at all the answers!
Let's hear those random funny things your kids blurt out...

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Re: STM+ Sh*t my kid says...

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  • schazeschaze
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    I love this thread! I can't wait for DD to start talking for this very reason. Kids are hilarious.
  • Awe! @mommaa1615 we tried to point out the baby to our 2 year old at our u/s yesterday and he said "TV!" Haha I guess the TV is more exciting than the image on the screen.
    mommaa1615CANTW82BMOMLizbeth86LemmyRN
  • My 2.5 yo also likes to say:
    "We need to talk." - really serious like, so I ask what he wants to talk about, and he'll consider and usually picks an animal.
    "Relaaaaax, Mommy." - either while absolutely nothing is going on, or something actually stressful and it helps exactly zero (like I'm trying to get him to stop saying "what's that? what's that? what's that?" about god knows what out the windows while I'm trying to navigate a traffic circle)
    "mine" instead of "my" - "Welcome to mine house!"
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    Lizbeth86whitta1218CANTW82BMOMschaze
  • My 4 yo told me over the weekend "I burned my lip on a candle, but then I ate an elephant and I felt really good."  She got too close to my brothers bday candles a few months ago.  
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    Lizbeth86jesscmvCANTW82BMOM
  • @Cantw82bamom my daughter would say the same thing! I actually miss her saying that now that she's older - it was so sweet!
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  • @CANTW82BMOM DS started doing this (25 mo). It is seriously the cutest thing he does right now hahaha.
    CANTW82BMOM
  • My 23 mo says "My did it!" After an accomplishment.

    "Daddy pee pee from there"  (there's no privacy once they start opening doors).



    Lizbeth86jesscmvReady4theParty
  • In the midst if potty training, my daughter and I usually go to the bathroom together, especially when we're out. The other day I was going and she looks at me and proclaims loudly  "mooooom, your butt has hair in it!" I could gear the other lady in the restroom chuckle.
    whitta1218CANTW82BMOMLemmyRNjesscmv
  • I've got a few gems that I can remember from the past couple years (when DS was 2-3 years old):

    DS: Where are I? There I are!

    DS: Daddy, can I watch Judy Hopps?
    DH: Judy Hopps? Oh, you mean Zootopia?
    DS: No, Daddy. Joo... Dee... Hopps!

    *DS chewing on a Tootsie Roll*
    Me: Do you like that candy, buddy? Those are called Tootsie Rolls.
    DS: No, Mommy. Those are called brown things.

    DS: What's that, Mommy?
    Me: That's a life saver.
    DS: Hmmm, I think that's a life donut.
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  • edited July 2017
    So, when our week changes over I like to sit down with my son and show him the app's weird interactive baby thing, and talk about what's new with his sibling.

    As we're wrapping up he suddenly asks, "Is it okay to perform sex on someone who is already pregnant?"

    I said, "Yes, a pregnant person can have sex."

    "But will it result in another embryo?"

    I then briefly explained ovulation and how it stops while you're pregnant. 

    He then revealed that he'd read some of the pregnancy book we had downstairs (our insurance sent us a copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting"). He proceeded to explain why sometimes "leaking happens." He is "most interested in the postpartum period."

    Also I think he may be slowly understanding that sex is for recreation, lol. He's been pretty grossed out by it in the past, and has firmly believed that it's something adults do at the doctor's office. We didn't tell him that, but he drew that conclusion and could NOT be dissuaded from it. I think he was 6, maybe 7 at the time.
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