@mamasaurus12415 I took clomid under the care of an RE and
the first two cycles they did not monitor.
The first cycle was for a clomid challenge (mandated by my insurance)
and we did TI. The second cycle we were
supposed to do an IUI based on my own OPK testing but I rarely turn an OPK (I
know that now) so we missed it and the cycle was cancelled. We took it for two more cycles after that and
I was monitored for both of those.
I've been trying so hard to keep up with this thread but my job keeps distracting me.
@lund I'm sorry about your disappointing AMH levels. I think you said they were just over 1 right? That's not quite as low as some success stories I've seen. In case it hasn't been mentioned yet - there is a very long but interesting Low AMH thread on the IF board. The earlier posts have a lot of encouraging stories.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
@lund Yay for hopefully getting your HSG scheduled...second time is a charm, right?
@50Wife Yay for now unblocked tubes! I am so happy for you!
I also had my HSG yesterday afternoon. No blockage, and it wasn't really painful, just mildy uncomfortable for a few min. In case anyone is wondering (since a few of us talked about it a couple weeks ago), I guess most places don't use oil base for HSG, because then they have to "suck it back out". So even though the results are sometimes better with oil (only if there is blockage), that's why most places don't use it. Super fun information over here
Thank you for everyone who gave me their input about my situation. I want to ask for monitoring because the things that could go wrong without it are kind of scary. I just don't know how to go about asking my RE about it.
Me: 24 DH: 28 DD 6/9/15 TTC #2 with PCOS since 10/16
July 2017 Siggy Challenge- Animals Eating Summer Foods
@mamasaurus12415 Can you just ask? Or if you aren't comfortable asking the RE, ask the nurse? Just say, "Since I've never done this before, shouldn't I have an ultrasound to see what it does?"
I very much hope that you don't have a long fertility journey ahead of you, but in case you do -- you want a medical team that you can talk to and question. I can't imagine going through everything I've been through without having a doctor I trust and that includes asking questions. If you aren't comfortable, that is a red flag.
@adirat I think I'll message them through my patient portal and just ask if a nurse can call me. Then I can ask the nurse on the phone. I agree that having a medical team I can trust is important, especially as there's no telling how long this will take.
Me: 24 DH: 28 DD 6/9/15 TTC #2 with PCOS since 10/16
July 2017 Siggy Challenge- Animals Eating Summer Foods
@50Wife Great news! Now let's hope you get some of that special HSG magic!!
@JuneRoseRuby Thank you for asking your doc about the morph, I so appreciate it. I am so sorry for the disappointing news but I agree you should wait and see what your RE says. I am keeping all the things crossed for you
@lund Oh I'm glad your doc was helpful to you! Go get it girl
@dragonette505 Thanks for doing some research! Haha you're right I blew up google last night but am choosing to go with what some of my ladies here said and get the repeat SA. I'm hoping the first was a fluke due to our insane abstinence, but if the second one is bad we will go to the urologist.
@JuneRoseRuby ugh, I'm sorry the urologist wasn't happier with the number of sperm. I hope the fertility clinic has a better outlook for you guys!! Really pulling for you.
Me: 31 DH: 32 Dating since: 11/17/2001 Married: 9/26/2009 TTC: June 2016
I juts read this article about how the US fertility rate has hit an all time low and demographers are freaking out because millenials aren't having enough babies. So...can we all have IF insurance coverage now pls k thx?
ETA: I mean I know it's more about more women choosing not to have kids or delaying pregnancy. But I see an article like this and I'm like hey, I know a lot of women who'd love to help with those stats but can't afford the treatments without taking out loans or straining their finances. End mini rant.
ETA: If this mini rant about the article annoys or bothers anyone, I'll edit my post and just put a fun gif in instead. Idk if this falls into the realm of annoying. I just got all grumpy for a sec about not having IF coverage and having to use our (thank God we have it) savings to pay for it.
@kiwi2628 I'm so sorry for your BFN.i know my hopes are so much higher this month with the IUI so I know the crush has gotta be extra tough. Huge hugs lady. I hope next time is it for you
@50Wife I bet it's nice to have an answer! FX for you this cycle
@mamasaurus12415 I agree with all the feedback about monitoring! I used to get scared to ask questions and was always worried the nurses hate me and now i don't care I just call and bug them anyway. Keep us posted about what they say!
@beanship wow with the article that's crazy! I know they are saying by choice but it also makes me wonder how much of it is IF and what's contributing to that change. Interesting
@zwink1 I know! I saw it and I was like "ooh, fertility article!" and then really by "fertility" they just meant "births among the number of ALL childbearing-aged women." Not the same thing. (Don't care if "fertility" means something different to demographers. It's annoying.) But I'd be glad to have as many procedures as it takes to bring up the birth rate if the "concerned demographers" would pay for them (as opposed to just how many we can afford).
@50Wife That's great your tubes are clear now! FX that's all you needed and that this is your month!
@beachbunnyxo123 It varied for me each cycle. In the 3 times I've been on progesterone, I got AF between 1-4 days after stopping progesterone. The progesterone prevents fullblown AF for me, so my LP ends up longer than 14 days when I'm on it.
@mamasaurus12415 That doesn't sound right to me either. I've never been on Clomid, but on Letrozole, my RE did the full monitoring - US and BW before trigger (or suspected O date), and then BW 7 days after trigger (or suspected O date). When I didn't ovulate on Letrozole, I didn't get my period. At my RE, if you are an-O, you don't necessarily have to have your period to start a medicated cycle (I have never force-started a period with Provera), but you do have to have a US and BW before starting a cycle to show that all your levels are consistent with cycle day 3 levels and that you don't have cysts. Also, if you have PCOS, it messes with your OPKs.
If I were you, I would tell your RE that because you're not ovulating on your current dose of Clomid, you really want to be monitored so you can see what's going on with your ovaries. My RE was able to monitor me, see that I wasn't responding to the Letrozole, and increase the dosage in one cycle. Less wasted cycles! I did 3 different dosages in one cycle. If I had gone unmonitored, that would have taken three cycles just to figure out that Letrozole doesn't work for me.
@juneroseruby Sorry to hear that. GL with your fertility clinic consult. Hopefully it's soon so you can figure out what the next best step is.
32 years old (both H and I) Dating 7/2008 Married 7/2014 H Type I Diabetic TTC 1/2016
12/2016
mental break from TTC-NTNP
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL) 1/17/2017
SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility) 1/18/2017
STP tubes clear 2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements 6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility 7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm) 8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup 9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze 9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid 9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
Sorry for this, but its a DD- I made it the whole day, and I just got home from work and I am *TMI* on the toilet peeing and I just start bawling. I am both grateful but also super anxious and mad because while my insurance does cover a lot of IF (which is amazing!), they require us to do 6 IUI before IVF instead of 3. I know I am putting the cart before the horse since I could be the 30% of Unexplained who get KU with IUI, but I am not feeling that, I feel like its gonna have to get to IVF for us, and going through those 3 extra cycles may emotionally fucking kill me.
@kiwi2628 My love tit is a huge hug. Do not apologize for feeling the way you do. This process is emotional, s***ty, scary and all around not fun. You have every right to feel the way you do, but I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. Take care of yourself and do something fun with YH this weekend.
@kiwi2628 *Hugs* I'm so sorry that your insurance requires you to do that. Like @RVAmom315 said, you have every right to feel the way you do. Take care of yourself.
Me: 24 DH: 28 DD 6/9/15 TTC #2 with PCOS since 10/16
July 2017 Siggy Challenge- Animals Eating Summer Foods
@kiwi2628 I'm sorry, girl. I have nothing but love and Internet hugs for you. Cry all you need to. Hibernate this weekend if you need do. Cry and hibernate with ice cream and wine. Just take care of yourself
@kiwi2628 I'm so, so sorry. Sometimes the emotions just hit you randomly. That's happened to me before. This is all complete bulls***. The insurance, the IF, everything. You're allowed to feel whatever you need to feel. I'll echo all of the others by saying take care of yourself. Get an IRL hug from someone. You'll make it through this.
So AF just showed herself. Knew it was only a matter of time. Anyone start femara on day 4? Technically if I go to sleep right now I could count today as spotting and cd 1 tomorrow but my RE is closed and I won't get my refill until Monday so was just curious if anyone thought it would be an issue?
@beachbunnyxo123 sorry for AF I started Letrozole on CD 4 when I started AF on Friday as well back in March. My RE said it was ok. Any way to get in touch with someone before Mon?
@kiwi2628 Hugs. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that crap. I am in a similar boat - my insurance requires 6 medicated cycles (TI or IUI) before IVF (my next cycle will be 6 of 6). It's ridiculous. The thought of going through so many treatments is overwhelming and emotionally draining. Hopefully you won't need to move to IVF, but if you do, you got this. You'll make it through, even though it sucks and it's bullshit. I'm cursing insurance companies with you.
@beachbunnyxo123 I've started letrozole on day 4 before. Any day between 3-5 is fine with my RE.
@beachbunnyxo123 most clinics have a 24 hr call service and on duty nurses to answer questions. You may have to leave your question with a call agent, but someone could get back to you with instructions, maybe?
@50Wife so excited about your freshly cleared tubes!!! Go get it, grrl!!! :D
@kiwi2628. So sorry about the bfn. So much of IF is waiting. Or hurry up and wait. Thank goodness you do have coverage! A lot of women dont! And hey, maybe iui will work - there was a recent grad that comes to mind who just had iui, not ivf. All is not lost. For us, we have been waiting.... 9 or 10 months since our dx, having to do literally no trying (except vitamins, supplements, appointments, bw, clomid etc.) So on the bright side, even if you had to "wait" 5 more cycles for ivf, as least you'd be DOING something in the meantime, right? It's definitely not easy, but I have to believe we will get our babies precisely when we are "meant to"... (((hugs)))
@beachbunnyxo123. I dont know about femara, but for me the progesterone did lengthen my lp a bit, but it wasn't always enough to stop the breakthrough spotting or have AF start anyway even before I had stopped the progesterone, some cycles ar least. I never really knew what to expect. :/
@JuneRoseRuby. So sorry the report from yoyr doctor wasnt more encouraging. So mich of this stuff is so incertain, and we still dont even know till ots happening, or know if it worked till theres a baby in our arms!!! :/ theres a girl on rhe july/august ivf thread who said her H has two blockages, but his sperm dont rhaw well so they do a fresh aspiration eaxh time. Who knows what specifically it will be for you guys, but I have faith you'll figure it out. ;) (((hugs)))
@antoto. So fricking exciting!!! You're getting so close! <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/25/8zow6bom3sou.gif" alt="">
@beanship that topic has come up quite often in our house. And it's hard to speak frankly about it if you're worried about being PC.
<div class="Spoiler">But remember back in the day, when we were little kids, they used to tell us we needed to worry abour overpopulation??? Like there were so many - Billions of - people on the planet, if we kept growing the earth would just "run out" of resources (oxygen, water etc.) and the consequences would just be disastrous. Now it's the carbon footprint thing. I know this is a UO, but I think the whole carbon footprint thing is bogus pseudo-science. Case in point specifially, I saw with my own eyes, little kids in Kindergarten learning about ways to reduce their carbon footprint, bc you know, exhaling CO2 is such a problem for mother earth. Gimme a break. (We're not talking industrial pollution, just the normal day to day existance of any one person alive on earth). And I'm sorrynotsorry but you watch me pull my kid so fast out of school it will make their heads spin, if they try to tell my kid that their BREATHING is harming the planet or their mommy driving them to school in an automobile etc. Gtfo. Fundamentally there is something in this political agenda that rings <i>anti-human </i>to me, and I'll have none of it.</div> <div class="Spoiler">So ffwd a decade or two, and those same kids who were raised believing that the world was going to become overpopulated and overpolluted before too very long... surprise surprise! Waited to have kids. As girls, we were taught that building our edifying careers was more important than base reproduction, we could stand on our own two feet and didnt need a man, so most don't <i>really</i> look for husbands too young. We spread our wings and do the sex-in-the-city thing for 5-10 years before "settling down" with a partner we never knew we actually "needed" and shockmeshockmeshockme, now it's harder to get pregnant, BE pregnant, and there's less time left to have the sort of bigger families many of our grandmothers had bc basic math. It's social engineering and it's intentional if you ask me, and there's a lot more to it even than what I've said so far, if you look at the demographics of who IS still having big families and who is not.</div> <div class="Spoiler">I could say more, but I'm sure this isn't the time/ place. I will just say my mind has been blown over and over again, the more I learn about certain policies and individual policy <i>makers</i>. But seriously, let's not beat ourselves up about waiting to grow our families, bc that's exactly what we were all taught was the right thing to do. Maybe others were taught a different lesson, but it likely wasn't from the public schools, if they were.</div> <div class="Spoiler">Take for example even DHs parents. Neither one went to college. They were HS sweethearts, got married young. She had three kids before the age of 22 and has had a chance to live several lifetimes over again since, reinventing herself as a woman and as a person <i>after</i> having her children. She has two granddaughters already who are not babies - they know her well, (and their <i>own</i> parents were sweethearts too.) :) I fully believe there is a reason nature starts off our potential childbearing years so young, bc it keeps the generations closer together, families tighter knit, and leaves more family around to help with childcare and to support the mamas. The longer women wait, the further stretched the generations become, the looser those family ties, where mothers hardly have a choice but to put their kids in school/ daycare early on (bc also working at those important jobs they spent a lifetime building a career at), so the State has the next generation right where they want them, ready to keep indoctrinating our babies from the jump.</div> <div class="Spoiler">I know this probably all makes me sound quite kooky, and I guess I don't really care, bc I do believe it all to be true. It's actually a big part of why DH and I wanted to go into business for ourselves in the first place, so I could be available to WFH, possibly homeschool, live close enough to share childcare with SIL/MIL/ FIL/SMIL - maybe even get my mom to retire and move out closer, too! Bc it takes a village, but that village can be as close as our own blood and circle of neighbours and framily - if we make it so. I plan to teach my future daughters - however she wants to live her life, I will support her. But just to be aware that if she does want kids, it may turn out to be an awful lot easier to have them young, have as many as they want, and there will be time once they are school age to shift focus from babies to career at like 25-30.... instead of having another focus till 30-35 and then going oh shhh I still want babies. And possibly being in for a heartbreaking awakening. :'( </div><p>*typos/clarity</p>
@kiwi2628 I'm sorry--6 does seem like a lot since the stats do down so much after 3 or 4. I'm OOP on everything and it sucks, but we do get to move on to IVF whenever we feel like it (though the only thing we've decided on that so far is no less than 2 and no more than 4). I hope you don't make it to 6! We have had some recent IUI grads, but it's so hard not knowing what will be the thing that actually works, and with unexplained it's just uncertainty added on uncertainty, which can drive one bonkers by itself.
@BusinessWife I'm not on board with 100% of what you're saying but for so much of it I was like, "YES!" I definitely think I was lied to about the statistics re: age and it makes me so mad now to think how much extra time we waited for career stuff (which I don't feel great about either and felt very pressured to do). I hate to think "what would I have changed if" because I'm a big believer in the butterfly effect, but I won't lie I feel cheated on this and even though I'm not quite AMA yet I am super jealous of people who discover this lie in their 20s with more time to self-correct and put themselves in the position they need to be in to TTC.
<div class=" Spoiler">I mean I feel like I shouldn't have to say it, but I will - obviously I support every woman's - and every single <i>human's</i> choices for how they decide to live their lives. And if a woman chooses career over babies - for her whole life even, more power to her. To me that makes more sense even than believing the lies I believe we were all told that babies would always just be there for you when you were "ready," when reality is Biology is a thing. So there's that. And more power to the mommy who <i>does</i> find a work/life balance that works for her and her family! Bc Lord knows that's NOT easy either!</div> <div class=" Spoiler">But for those women who felt a stigma <i>against</i> finding a husband, starting a family etc. FIRST, like somehow they were not living up to their potential as a woman or selling themselves short by not entering the workforce, that's not an accident either, imho.</div> <div class=" Spoiler">Like I said we could go further down the rabbithole and you can all find out just what a loon you'll probably think I am. Lol. But. We can all agree there is a huge pro-bf thing happening now, right? To where the "backlash" comes in the form of "<i>FED</i> is best" and a happy mommy is critical i.e. maternal emotional/mental health awareness etc. But there was a time once upon a time, (which coincided with the war effort,) where the bottle was introduced and marketed as this amazingly civilized modern convenience, and <i>bfing was actually</i> <i>looked down upon</i>!!! Like something decidedly <i>un</i>civilized that only poor / uneducated people do! If you can imagine for a moment.</div> <div class=" Spoiler">So what does this do? But it frees up the "modern woman" from the breast, to enter/stay in the workforce while the (majority being) men, went off and fought and died. Childbearing women were told they were doing their pateriotic duty to enter the workforce, and they couldn't do that as easily or as quickly if they were all bfing. That's why however many decades later, they had to pass laws limiting how much marketing to new moms the formula companies could to do <i>in the l&d wards</i> bc it was just babies being born straight to the bottle without moms giving much of a second thought to bfing because it was seen as icky. I mean really. I can't make this stuff up.</div> So thank goodness now we actually DO have all the choices today, and hopefully will all move tovether toward declaring an end to the mommywars over working/sah, career first/babies first, sahd/sahm, breast/bottle/supplement with formula/EP, disposible/cloth etc etc the list goes on and on. But hopefully we as women and moms/future moms can all agree to just live and let live, and be free to raise our kids however we see fit.
...And CELEBRATE all the wondeful ways and shapes and forms "modern" mommyhood may take on!
Totally with you on the formula/BF thing and most of that. The problem as I see it (or one of the big ones at least) was all the 2nd wave feminists were like, "we want jobs!" Which is great. Except if would have been a lot greater if work life balance was increased for BOTH men and women as a response to that huge change when this happened. Now instead of just men being overworked, we have this "culture of busy" where it's looked down upon for anyone to not be overworked. And since, at the same time, cost of living increased greater than then increase in pay for many jobs, we now have this complete shit situation where almost everyone is overworked, doesn't feel they have time with their kids and STILL struggles to afford things like childcare, homes, etc. In order for the "everyone works" thing to work better, our culture needs to stop overworking everyone and portraying working too much as not only normal but something we should all strive for. Coming to these realizations has completely altered my outlook on the life and family I personally want to have. I have good friends who are workaholics, make a lot of money and have a live in nanny and that works for them, so great! Definitely all about live and let live!But I don't want to be pressured into believing that is the only possibility. I'd rather make less, go on fewer vacations, have a smaller house, and more freedom both to do my own thing and have more time with kids (if we manage to have any, blah, blah, blah). And I didn't need to go to school as long as I did to have it this way.
@Redpuma119 You're not horrible for enjoying a weekend of doing your own thing. I really value my time home alone.
@mispanda I was surprised by how emotional I was about starting testing and treatment, even though I had been looking forward to it for months. It's like a bit of you thought that you were just being a worry wart and you'd be KU soon. As for your sister, tell her to go Google some stats. H was the same until I showed him the statistics. My RE advised me to do OPKs so I was sure we didn't miss O. (Plan was to do Ovidrel and IUI. I did not get a surge on my own before Ovidrel.) And temping is pointless in a medicated cycle. It's a welcome bonus!
@kmalls I started a thread a little while back about what to ask. It's on page 2 or 3 right now or you can just check what posts I've started.
@purplg8r I'm sorry you're here but glad you are. I hope you can get in soon and start making some headway.
@pinky917 Yes, it is so nice to have other people in charge instead of constantly second-guessing myself.
@beanship For CM, I've heard about (and use) evening primrose oil, green tea, and grapefruit juice. I've seen more endorsing the first two but I also like grapefruit juice so it was a good excuse to treat myself. I can't say definitively if any of those had an impact beyond feeling like I was doing something.
@saralee797-2 I really feel like Pom juice helps my lining. IUI 1 I was religious about it every night. IUI 2 I ran out and only hit about half the time. IUI 1 lining was 10 something. IUI 2 was 8.3. Plus it's so good with coconut La Croix!
@GG620 That's certainly unusual to get a negative so soon after trigger but we all metabolize it at different rates. In an abundance of caution, I'd give it another day or two and test with another brand or lot.
@Redpuma119 What med are they putting you on for the prolactin? I'm on Cabergoline and it has worked but for me at least (especially when combined with the progesterone), the constipation is real. Pay attention and don't wait too long to start prune juice/chia/Metamucil.
@kiwi2628 Normally I get breast tenderness at 4 DPO (and creamy CM same day but with the progesterone, it's Calvin Ball up in there). Last time it was right on normal. This time I didn't get any breast tenderness until I think 9DPO. I got myself all freaked out that the Ovidrel didn't work and that I didn't O.
@lund That ish is how much? Excuse me while I pick my jaw up.
@LeilaK9288 I am so sorry for the dx. Glad you already snagged an appointment though! I feel you on the friends. I had hoped to be pregnant with one friend... and another... and with my sister. All three have babies now. Some of whom are getting to be kinda old. My nephew is almost 1, for goodness sake.
@safire3 Sorry for your dumbass coworker. Oh, we should have sex to get pregnant?! I never thought of that!!
@lund I'm sorry you've had a tough week. And yes, that nurse is definitely full of shit. At 33, mine was 1.79 and my RE said that it's a bit low. Hopefully you get some direction from your RE soon. Glad YH is on board for IVF. It's like I told me RE, 10 years ago if someone had asked if I would do IVF, I would have needed to think about it. Now, I'm definitely down. It sometimes just takes some time to wrap your brain around it.
@beanship Who efffing asks anyone about their prescriptions? When my coworkers say that they have to go pick up an rx, I never ask what it's for! As for the side hustle, some gotta be insulated. That reminds me of a couple at the RE's office the day of my US and trigger. I always just take the Ovidrel out of the fridge and stuff it in my purse. I think it's supposed to be room temp at time of injection anyways. If we didn't trigger then, I'd just put it straight back in the fridge after my appointment. I went to leave and there was a couple there that had brought the entire package it shipped in. We're talking a bit bigger than basketball sized silver foil bag, I presume with the ice packs still in it. I don't think they had even opened it to be sure the pharmacy had sent the right thing. Their earnestness was so sweet but it still cracked me up. Have y'all been keeping that bigass thing in your fridge?? Yasss to @BertieMeetsGertie 's suggestion. But I'm more of an asshole so I'd vote Valtrex (is that the one) and ask if that isn't the one that's for herpes. Now that I've read your additional information about her, Valtrex is definitely in order.
I'll finish responses in another post. I don't want TB to eat them all!
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I don't agree with a whole lot that's being said but I DO fully support a more thoughtful daycare situation. For me I would not have had family day care if I had a baby at 23 or whatever. Both of my parents were working when I was that age. Just like the vast majority of households need a dual income. But now that I'm older my dad is retired and my mom is closing in on retirement as well.
All of this is pointless of course since I don't live in the same city as them, because me and my husband's jobs (again... that dual income) require us to be elsewhere.
I don't think I'm in an unusual situation. I think it's rare that someone has a family member that lives in the same city to do 100% of their childcare and you know... WANTS to do that. (although that is certainly an enviable situation! I do think it takes a village and I do think being surrounded by family makes it easier and happier.)
I really feel that to make the United States more baby friendly we would need a lot of changes - it's not just caused by one or even two or three things. University would need to be more subsidized so that people aren't walking out with 30k+ in student loans (because there are so many jobs that do require a degree). More jobs, or possibly the government should offer more paid parental leave (NOT just unpaid maternity leave) so that both parents could trade off - maybe the one spouse for the first 6 months, and then the other for the next 6 months. This would not only help with avoiding putting kids in daycare before the parents want to, but also assist in decreasing the disparity of women and men in the workplace. More emphasis on assisting the middle class.
And since it's already been brought up now - the feminist movement supports women doing whatever they want to be able to do, not just career obsessed women. It's about having options. If she wants to be the most amazing SAHM who EBFs for 18 months and home schools her kids then that's what she should do. If she wants to be a badass career lady and mother then she should have breast pumps and formula to help her do that. Because you can still do that and be the most amazing mother.
I am one of the most outspoken feminists I know and I would LOVE to take a year off to be a SAHM and EBF (if my body would allow) and all that shiz.
Also, I don't regret waiting until now to TTC. I certainly can only speak for myself but I didn't have the true emotional maturity, financial stability, hadn't met the love of my life at that point. I wasn't not married early because feminism told me not to. I was constantly dating - exclusively looking for serious relationships, but they were all douche bags and I'm so glad I didn't marry any of my exes or have children with them. I'm so happy that I kept my standards high and waited for my husband.
IF sucks. It fucking sucks. And yes, if I had married one of my shitty exes, skipped college and got a job that doesn't require a degree, and started trying a decade ago I would probably have had a kid or a few without IVF. But it wouldn't have been with my amazing husband, in our stable financial situation. I personally do not regret waiting. IF sucks. But so does divorce and poverty - which I believe would have been my personal outcome if I had chosen that road.
I am saying all of this not to change anyone's minds and not to take away from anyone's totally justified feelings or stories. I am sure there are women on this board who had already met the love of their life at 20 years old, maybe they were able to make a ton of money without getting a degree first. Maybe they were ready to be totally selfless and the best mom ever at 20. That just wasn't my story and I wanted to offer mine as an alternative view point.
<div class=" Quote"><span>[@antoto said:]<b> Just like the vast majority of households need a dual income.</b> </span></div><span>To me, <b><i>this</i></b> is the root of the problem. So for me personally its chiefly an economic issue, or socioeconomic issue, not a feminist one.</span>
Re: IF/Testing Weekly Check In June 26
@mamasaurus12415 I took clomid under the care of an RE and the first two cycles they did not monitor. The first cycle was for a clomid challenge (mandated by my insurance) and we did TI. The second cycle we were supposed to do an IUI based on my own OPK testing but I rarely turn an OPK (I know that now) so we missed it and the cycle was cancelled. We took it for two more cycles after that and I was monitored for both of those.
I've been trying so hard to keep up with this thread but my job keeps distracting me.
@lund I'm sorry about your disappointing AMH levels. I think you said they were just over 1 right? That's not quite as low as some success stories I've seen. In case it hasn't been mentioned yet - there is a very long but interesting Low AMH thread on the IF board. The earlier posts have a lot of encouraging stories.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
@lund Yay for hopefully getting your HSG scheduled...second time is a charm, right?
@50Wife Yay for now unblocked tubes! I am so happy for you!
I also had my HSG yesterday afternoon. No blockage, and it wasn't really painful, just mildy uncomfortable for a few min. In case anyone is wondering (since a few of us talked about it a couple weeks ago), I guess most places don't use oil base for HSG, because then they have to "suck it back out". So even though the results are sometimes better with oil (only if there is blockage), that's why most places don't use it. Super fun information over here
DD 6/9/15
TTC #2 with PCOS since 10/16
July 2017 Siggy Challenge- Animals Eating Summer Foods
I very much hope that you don't have a long fertility journey ahead of you, but in case you do -- you want a medical team that you can talk to and question. I can't imagine going through everything I've been through without having a doctor I trust and that includes asking questions. If you aren't comfortable, that is a red flag.
DD 6/9/15
TTC #2 with PCOS since 10/16
July 2017 Siggy Challenge- Animals Eating Summer Foods
@JuneRoseRuby Thank you for asking your doc about the morph, I so appreciate it. I am so sorry for the disappointing news but I agree you should wait and see what your RE says. I am keeping all the things crossed for you
@lund Oh I'm glad your doc was helpful to you! Go get it girl
@dragonette505 Thanks for doing some research! Haha you're right I blew up google last night but am choosing to go with what some of my ladies here said and get the repeat SA. I'm hoping the first was a fluke due to our insane abstinence, but if the second one is bad we will go to the urologist.
@Hollyyyyy Glad your HSG went well, FX for you!
TTC #2 - August 2016
MFI
IUI #1-3 BFN
BFP 4/21/18 MMC 6/11/18
Dating since: 11/17/2001
Married: 9/26/2009
TTC: June 2016
EDD: 5/14/2018
@Hollyyyyy Glad to hear your HSG went well!
@JuneRoseRuby hopefully the fertility clinic will have better advice
ETA: I mean I know it's more about more women choosing not to have kids or delaying pregnancy. But I see an article like this and I'm like hey, I know a lot of women who'd love to help with those stats but can't afford the treatments without taking out loans or straining their finances. End mini rant.
ETA: If this mini rant about the article annoys or bothers anyone, I'll edit my post and just put a fun gif in instead. Idk if this falls into the realm of annoying. I just got all grumpy for a sec about not having IF coverage and having to use our (thank God we have it) savings to pay for it.
@50Wife I bet it's nice to have an answer! FX for you this cycle
@dragonette505 when will you have more information about
@Hollyyyyy glad the hsg went well!!!
@mamasaurus12415 I agree with all the feedback about monitoring! I used to get scared to ask questions and was always worried the nurses hate me and now i don't care I just call and bug them anyway. Keep us posted about what they say!
@beanship wow with the article that's crazy! I know they are saying by choice but it also makes me wonder how much of it is IF and what's contributing to that change. Interesting
@beachbunnyxo123 It varied for me each cycle. In the 3 times I've been on progesterone, I got AF between 1-4 days after stopping progesterone. The progesterone prevents fullblown AF for me, so my LP ends up longer than 14 days when I'm on it.
@mamasaurus12415 That doesn't sound right to me either. I've never been on Clomid, but on Letrozole, my RE did the full monitoring - US and BW before trigger (or suspected O date), and then BW 7 days after trigger (or suspected O date). When I didn't ovulate on Letrozole, I didn't get my period. At my RE, if you are an-O, you don't necessarily have to have your period to start a medicated cycle (I have never force-started a period with Provera), but you do have to have a US and BW before starting a cycle to show that all your levels are consistent with cycle day 3 levels and that you don't have cysts. Also, if you have PCOS, it messes with your OPKs.
If I were you, I would tell your RE that because you're not ovulating on your current dose of Clomid, you really want to be monitored so you can see what's going on with your ovaries. My RE was able to monitor me, see that I wasn't responding to the Letrozole, and increase the dosage in one cycle. Less wasted cycles! I did 3 different dosages in one cycle. If I had gone unmonitored, that would have taken three cycles just to figure out that Letrozole doesn't work for me.
@juneroseruby Sorry to hear that. GL with your fertility clinic consult. Hopefully it's soon so you can figure out what the next best step is.
@Hollyyyyy I'm glad your HSG went well!
Dating 7/2008
Married 7/2014
H Type I Diabetic
TTC 1/2016
1/10/2017 initial appt with RE (all BW results WNL)
1/17/2017 SA DX Virtual Azoo (3 sperm 0%morph 0%motility)
1/18/2017 STP tubes clear
2/1/2017 initial appt with Urologist
2/15/2017 DX H Robertsonian Translocation
H is on clomid and Theralogix Supplements
6/26/17 repeat SA: 47 sperm 0% morph 13% motility
7/26/17 IVF Consult, repeat SA (4 sperm)
8/21/17 Starting IVF cycle with Donor Sperm backup
9/1/17 ER ICSI PGS: only 2 donor embryos made it to freeze
9/13/17 Started cycle for IUI with donor and clomid
9/27/17 IUI canceled for overstim
October Plan IUI with donor and low dose clomid
@50Wife Yay for unblocked tubes!!
ETA Forgot to tag
TTC #2 - August 2016
MFI
IUI #1-3 BFN
BFP 4/21/18 MMC 6/11/18
DD 6/9/15
TTC #2 with PCOS since 10/16
July 2017 Siggy Challenge- Animals Eating Summer Foods
Cry all you need to. Hibernate this weekend if you need do. Cry and hibernate with ice cream and wine. Just take care of yourself
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
@beachbunnyxo123 I've started letrozole on day 4 before. Any day between 3-5 is fine with my RE.
@kiwi2628. So sorry about the bfn. So much of IF is waiting. Or hurry up and wait. Thank goodness you do have coverage! A lot of women dont! And hey, maybe iui will work - there was a recent grad that comes to mind who just had iui, not ivf. All is not lost. For us, we have been waiting.... 9 or 10 months since our dx, having to do literally no trying (except vitamins, supplements, appointments, bw, clomid etc.) So on the bright side, even if you had to "wait" 5 more cycles for ivf, as least you'd be DOING something in the meantime, right? It's definitely not easy, but I have to believe we will get our babies precisely when we are "meant to"... (((hugs)))
@beachbunnyxo123. I dont know about femara, but for me the progesterone did lengthen my lp a bit, but it wasn't always enough to stop the breakthrough spotting or have AF start anyway even before I had stopped the progesterone, some cycles ar least. I never really knew what to expect. :/
@JuneRoseRuby. So sorry the report from yoyr doctor wasnt more encouraging. So mich of this stuff is so incertain, and we still dont even know till ots happening, or know if it worked till theres a baby in our arms!!! :/ theres a girl on rhe july/august ivf thread who said her H has two blockages, but his sperm dont rhaw well so they do a fresh aspiration eaxh time. Who knows what specifically it will be for you guys, but I have faith you'll figure it out. ;) (((hugs)))
@antoto. So fricking exciting!!! You're getting so close!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/25/8zow6bom3sou.gif" alt="">
<div class="Spoiler">But remember back in the day, when we were little kids, they used to tell us we needed to worry abour overpopulation??? Like there were so many - Billions of - people on the planet, if we kept growing the earth would just "run out" of resources (oxygen, water etc.) and the consequences would just be disastrous. Now it's the carbon footprint thing. I know this is a UO, but I think the whole carbon footprint thing is bogus pseudo-science. Case in point specifially, I saw with my own eyes, little kids in Kindergarten learning about ways to reduce their carbon footprint, bc you know, exhaling CO2 is such a problem for mother earth. Gimme a break. (We're not talking industrial pollution, just the normal day to day existance of any one person alive on earth). And I'm sorrynotsorry but you watch me pull my kid so fast out of school it will make their heads spin, if they try to tell my kid that their BREATHING is harming the planet or their mommy driving them to school in an automobile etc. Gtfo. Fundamentally there is something in this political agenda that rings <i>anti-human </i>to me, and I'll have none of it.</div>
<div class="Spoiler">So ffwd a decade or two, and those same kids who were raised believing that the world was going to become overpopulated and overpolluted before too very long... surprise surprise! Waited to have kids. As girls, we were taught that building our edifying careers was more important than base reproduction, we could stand on our own two feet and didnt need a man, so most don't <i>really</i> look for husbands too young. We spread our wings and do the sex-in-the-city thing for 5-10 years before "settling down" with a partner we never knew we actually "needed" and shockmeshockmeshockme, now it's harder to get pregnant, BE pregnant, and there's less time left to have the sort of bigger families many of our grandmothers had bc basic math. It's social engineering and it's intentional if you ask me, and there's a lot more to it even than what I've said so far, if you look at the demographics of who IS still having big families and who is not.</div>
<div class="Spoiler">I could say more, but I'm sure this isn't the time/ place. I will just say my mind has been blown over and over again, the more I learn about certain policies and individual policy <i>makers</i>. But seriously, let's not beat ourselves up about waiting to grow our families, bc that's exactly what we were all taught was the right thing to do. Maybe others were taught a different lesson, but it likely wasn't from the public schools, if they were.</div>
<div class="Spoiler">Take for example even DHs parents. Neither one went to college. They were HS sweethearts, got married young. She had three kids before the age of 22 and has had a chance to live several lifetimes over again since, reinventing herself as a woman and as a person <i>after</i> having her children. She has two granddaughters already who are not babies - they know her well, (and their <i>own</i> parents were sweethearts too.) :) I fully believe there is a reason nature starts off our potential childbearing years so young, bc it keeps the generations closer together, families tighter knit, and leaves more family around to help with childcare and to support the mamas. The longer women wait, the further stretched the generations become, the looser those family ties, where mothers hardly have a choice but to put their kids in school/ daycare early on (bc also working at those important jobs they spent a lifetime building a career at), so the State has the next generation right where they want them, ready to keep indoctrinating our babies from the jump.</div>
<div class="Spoiler">I know this probably all makes me sound quite kooky, and I guess I don't really care, bc I do believe it all to be true. It's actually a big part of why DH and I wanted to go into business for ourselves in the first place, so I could be available to WFH, possibly homeschool, live close enough to share childcare with SIL/MIL/ FIL/SMIL - maybe even get my mom to retire and move out closer, too! Bc it takes a village, but that village can be as close as our own blood and circle of neighbours and framily - if we make it so. I plan to teach my future daughters - however she wants to live her life, I will support her. But just to be aware that if she does want kids, it may turn out to be an awful lot easier to have them young, have as many as they want, and there will be time once they are school age to shift focus from babies to career at like 25-30.... instead of having another focus till 30-35 and then going oh shhh I still want babies. And possibly being in for a heartbreaking awakening. :'( </div><p>*typos/clarity</p>
@BusinessWife I'm not on board with 100% of what you're saying but for so much of it I was like, "YES!" I definitely think I was lied to about the statistics re: age and it makes me so mad now to think how much extra time we waited for career stuff (which I don't feel great about either and felt very pressured to do). I hate to think "what would I have changed if" because I'm a big believer in the butterfly effect, but I won't lie I feel cheated on this and even though I'm not quite AMA yet I am super jealous of people who discover this lie in their 20s with more time to self-correct and put themselves in the position they need to be in to TTC.
<div class=" Spoiler">I mean I feel like I shouldn't have to say it, but I will - obviously I support every woman's - and every single <i>human's</i> choices for how they decide to live their lives. And if a woman chooses career over babies - for her whole life even, more power to her. To me that makes more sense even than believing the lies I believe we were all told that babies would always just be there for you when you were "ready," when reality is Biology is a thing. So there's that. And more power to the mommy who <i>does</i> find a work/life balance that works for her and her family! Bc Lord knows that's NOT easy either!</div>
<div class=" Spoiler">But for those women who felt a stigma <i>against</i> finding a husband, starting a family etc. FIRST, like somehow they were not living up to their potential as a woman or selling themselves short by not entering the workforce, that's not an accident either, imho.</div>
<div class=" Spoiler">Like I said we could go further down the rabbithole and you can all find out just what a loon you'll probably think I am. Lol. But. We can all agree there is a huge pro-bf thing happening now, right? To where the "backlash" comes in the form of "<i>FED</i> is best" and a happy mommy is critical i.e. maternal emotional/mental health awareness etc. But there was a time once upon a time, (which coincided with the war effort,) where the bottle was introduced and marketed as this amazingly civilized modern convenience, and <i>bfing was actually</i> <i>looked down upon</i>!!! Like something decidedly <i>un</i>civilized that only poor / uneducated people do! If you can imagine for a moment.</div>
<div class=" Spoiler">So what does this do? But it frees up the "modern woman" from the breast, to enter/stay in the workforce while the (majority being) men, went off and fought and died. Childbearing women were told they were doing their pateriotic duty to enter the workforce, and they couldn't do that as easily or as quickly if they were all bfing. That's why however many decades later, they had to pass laws limiting how much marketing to new moms the formula companies could to do <i>in the l&d wards</i> bc it was just babies being born straight to the bottle without moms giving much of a second thought to bfing because it was seen as icky. I mean really. I can't make this stuff up.</div>
So thank goodness now we actually DO have all the choices today, and hopefully will all move tovether toward declaring an end to the mommywars over working/sah, career first/babies first, sahd/sahm, breast/bottle/supplement with formula/EP, disposible/cloth etc etc the list goes on and on. But hopefully we as women and moms/future moms can all agree to just live and let live, and be free to raise our kids however we see fit.
...And CELEBRATE all the wondeful ways and shapes and forms "modern" mommyhood may take on!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/zg/kxb6876s6985.gif" alt="">
@mispanda I was surprised by how emotional I was about starting testing and treatment, even though I had been looking forward to it for months. It's like a bit of you thought that you were just being a worry wart and you'd be KU soon. As for your sister, tell her to go Google some stats. H was the same until I showed him the statistics. My RE advised me to do OPKs so I was sure we didn't miss O. (Plan was to do Ovidrel and IUI. I did not get a surge on my own before Ovidrel.) And temping is pointless in a medicated cycle. It's a welcome bonus!
@kmalls I started a thread a little while back about what to ask. It's on page 2 or 3 right now or you can just check what posts I've started.
@purplg8r I'm sorry you're here but glad you are. I hope you can get in soon and start making some headway.
@pinky917 Yes, it is so nice to have other people in charge instead of constantly second-guessing myself.
@beanship For CM, I've heard about (and use) evening primrose oil, green tea, and grapefruit juice. I've seen more endorsing the first two but I also like grapefruit juice so it was a good excuse to treat myself. I can't say definitively if any of those had an impact beyond feeling like I was doing something.
@saralee797-2 I really feel like Pom juice helps my lining. IUI 1 I was religious about it every night. IUI 2 I ran out and only hit about half the time. IUI 1 lining was 10 something. IUI 2 was 8.3. Plus it's so good with coconut La Croix!
@GG620 That's certainly unusual to get a negative so soon after trigger but we all metabolize it at different rates. In an abundance of caution, I'd give it another day or two and test with another brand or lot.
@Redpuma119 What med are they putting you on for the prolactin? I'm on Cabergoline and it has worked but for me at least (especially when combined with the progesterone), the constipation is real. Pay attention and don't wait too long to start prune juice/chia/Metamucil.
@kiwi2628 Normally I get breast tenderness at 4 DPO (and creamy CM same day but with the progesterone, it's Calvin Ball up in there). Last time it was right on normal. This time I didn't get any breast tenderness until I think 9DPO. I got myself all freaked out that the Ovidrel didn't work and that I didn't O.
@lund That ish is how much? Excuse me while I pick my jaw up.
@LeilaK9288 I am so sorry for the dx. Glad you already snagged an appointment though! I feel you on the friends. I had hoped to be pregnant with one friend... and another... and with my sister. All three have babies now. Some of whom are getting to be kinda old. My nephew is almost 1, for goodness sake.
@safire3 Sorry for your dumbass coworker. Oh, we should have sex to get pregnant?! I never thought of that!!
@lund I'm sorry you've had a tough week. And yes, that nurse is definitely full of shit. At 33, mine was 1.79 and my RE said that it's a bit low. Hopefully you get some direction from your RE soon. Glad YH is on board for IVF. It's like I told me RE, 10 years ago if someone had asked if I would do IVF, I would have needed to think about it. Now, I'm definitely down. It sometimes just takes some time to wrap your brain around it.
@beanship Who efffing asks anyone about their prescriptions? When my coworkers say that they have to go pick up an rx, I never ask what it's for! As for the side hustle, some gotta be insulated. That reminds me of a couple at the RE's office the day of my US and trigger. I always just take the Ovidrel out of the fridge and stuff it in my purse. I think it's supposed to be room temp at time of injection anyways. If we didn't trigger then, I'd just put it straight back in the fridge after my appointment. I went to leave and there was a couple there that had brought the entire package it shipped in. We're talking a bit bigger than basketball sized silver foil bag, I presume with the ice packs still in it. I don't think they had even opened it to be sure the pharmacy had sent the right thing. Their earnestness was so sweet but it still cracked me up. Have y'all been keeping that bigass thing in your fridge?? Yasss to @BertieMeetsGertie 's suggestion. But I'm more of an asshole so I'd vote Valtrex (is that the one) and ask if that isn't the one that's for herpes. Now that I've read your additional information about her, Valtrex is definitely in order.
I'll finish responses in another post. I don't want TB to eat them all!
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I don't agree with a whole lot that's being said but I DO fully support a more thoughtful daycare situation. For me I would not have had family day care if I had a baby at 23 or whatever. Both of my parents were working when I was that age. Just like the vast majority of households need a dual income. But now that I'm older my dad is retired and my mom is closing in on retirement as well.
All of this is pointless of course since I don't live in the same city as them, because me and my husband's jobs (again... that dual income) require us to be elsewhere.
I don't think I'm in an unusual situation. I think it's rare that someone has a family member that lives in the same city to do 100% of their childcare and you know... WANTS to do that. (although that is certainly an enviable situation! I do think it takes a village and I do think being surrounded by family makes it easier and happier.)
I really feel that to make the United States more baby friendly we would need a lot of changes - it's not just caused by one or even two or three things. University would need to be more subsidized so that people aren't walking out with 30k+ in student loans (because there are so many jobs that do require a degree). More jobs, or possibly the government should offer more paid parental leave (NOT just unpaid maternity leave) so that both parents could trade off - maybe the one spouse for the first 6 months, and then the other for the next 6 months. This would not only help with avoiding putting kids in daycare before the parents want to, but also assist in decreasing the disparity of women and men in the workplace. More emphasis on assisting the middle class.
And since it's already been brought up now - the feminist movement supports women doing whatever they want to be able to do, not just career obsessed women. It's about having options. If she wants to be the most amazing SAHM who EBFs for 18 months and home schools her kids then that's what she should do. If she wants to be a badass career lady and mother then she should have breast pumps and formula to help her do that. Because you can still do that and be the most amazing mother.
I am one of the most outspoken feminists I know and I would LOVE to take a year off to be a SAHM and EBF (if my body would allow) and all that shiz.
Also, I don't regret waiting until now to TTC. I certainly can only speak for myself but I didn't have the true emotional maturity, financial stability, hadn't met the love of my life at that point. I wasn't not married early because feminism told me not to. I was constantly dating - exclusively looking for serious relationships, but they were all douche bags and I'm so glad I didn't marry any of my exes or have children with them. I'm so happy that I kept my standards high and waited for my husband.
IF sucks. It fucking sucks. And yes, if I had married one of my shitty exes, skipped college and got a job that doesn't require a degree, and started trying a decade ago I would probably have had a kid or a few without IVF. But it wouldn't have been with my amazing husband, in our stable financial situation. I personally do not regret waiting. IF sucks. But so does divorce and poverty - which I believe would have been my personal outcome if I had chosen that road.
I am saying all of this not to change anyone's minds and not to take away from anyone's totally justified feelings or stories. I am sure there are women on this board who had already met the love of their life at 20 years old, maybe they were able to make a ton of money without getting a degree first. Maybe they were ready to be totally selfless and the best mom ever at 20. That just wasn't my story and I wanted to offer mine as an alternative view point.
Just like the vast majority of households need a dual income.</b> </span></div><span>To me, <b><i>this</i></b> is the root of the problem. So for me personally its chiefly an economic issue, or socioeconomic issue, not a feminist one.</span>