Augghhh reading this post has me feeling all the feelings relating to my own decisions about stepping back from the workforce and doing motherhood fulltime for awhile. Confession-- I am going to do it but I'm almost daily nervous about what it will do to my career. Although I'm excited not to miss all the moments with this one that I have missed with my first 2 sons in daycare. And I think losing the 45 minute commute between daycare pickups/drop offs will make the evenings so much easier. But I'm also nervous about being home all the time with children. I enjoy the adult time that work brings! My kids have had so many wonderful learning opportunities at daycare and have been introduced to way more diversity than they would otherwise encounter regularly in our neighborhood. I'm grateful for that. I feel really conflicted about it. As I think many women do. I am grateful for the opportunity for this to even be a choice, and I know that puts me in an incredibly privileged position. I hate that this issue tears women apart. We are all mothers who love our babies. And we want the best for them. And that looks different for every kid and every family. And it probably changes throughout the course of lives/careers. I think a great solution would be to have a longer paid maternity leave. Like 6 months. As to how we could work that out, I have no idea. But that would be my wish.
@kalenp I agree! As to how we could work it out, we just have to look at other countries. Unfortunately, Americans don't like taxes. I pay over 45% in income taxes but will have at least a year of paid maternity leave here in Austria. My husband is also entitled to take paternity leave if he wishes.
@bcashaw I could go on and on but I won't because it's already been discussed to death and nothing will change. Well, at least NY is starting 12 weeks paid maternity AND paternity leave! So that's positive
@bcashaw In the US, I think it's because of the almighty dollar - to some politicians and businessmen, people's inherent human worth is measured solely by how much money they have (or bring in for a company). It's also a short-sighted view of "must earn money now!!!!", rather than thinking about the value that a woman brings to the company over the course of her career if she is given the support she needs for her family time. I get 18-20 weeks off in my state (12 unpaid after disability). When I told my one project manager I was pregnant and how much leave I was eligible for, his response was "Wow! That's a lot! And you're going to take ALL of that?". He's a nice guy in general and always understanding when other family stuff pops up, so he's not a bad person. It's just an example of the ingrained view point in corporate America that we all have to "work work work" all the time, and that women should rush back to work after having a baby.
My state can be fairly progressive. And weed has been legal for a while. Our last ballot, we voted on what to do with all the EXTRA tax money we collected, because far more pot was sold than projected. WHY CAN'T THAT GO TO PAID MAT/PAT LEAVE??? That is all.
@SweetMelissa4 haha do you live in Colorado? That's what we are dealing with...I hate the stupid TABOR rules that we have to "vote" to put additional funding into needed services (usually parks and rec, education, etc). But being a fiercely independent, anti-tax state...there is sadly no way we would ever raise taxes or put it toward maternity or paternity benefits.
@dragonfly87-2 Yes! Are you in CO, too? I was more joking. It's kind of funny cause everyone is always wanting pot money to go to their cause and wondering where it all actually goes.
@littlemissc17 and @MississippiCatfish Oh god the mini donuts are my downfall! We have a local summer farmers market and there is a mini donuts stand there every day making millions of the little buggers fresh and right in front of you. I love them with vanilla sugar... *drool*
Re: FFFC 6/23/17
But I'm also nervous about being home all the time with children. I enjoy the adult time that work brings! My kids have had so many wonderful learning opportunities at daycare and have been introduced to way more diversity than they would otherwise encounter regularly in our neighborhood. I'm grateful for that.
I feel really conflicted about it. As I think many women do. I am grateful for the opportunity for this to even be a choice, and I know that puts me in an incredibly privileged position.
I hate that this issue tears women apart. We are all mothers who love our babies. And we want the best for them. And that looks different for every kid and every family. And it probably changes throughout the course of lives/careers.
I think a great solution would be to have a longer paid maternity leave. Like 6 months. As to how we could work that out, I have no idea. But that would be my wish.
DS#2 3/15
Baby #3~
DS#2 3/15
Baby #3~