FFFC: One of my favorite days of the WHOLE year is the day that the list of new fair foods comes out. That day is upon us, my friends. It's a lot less crazy this year than usual (i.e. less weird fried things on a stick.) Confession #2 I'm going to drink the heck out of the nitro cold press coffee.
My confession: the one and only reason I am upset we got rid of cable is because I can no longer watch new episodes of Teen Mom. They took it off Hulu and Amazon Video wants to charge me $22 for the season. Seriously??? I already pay my yearly fee for Prime, what is with the extra charge? I need my reality tv fix lol.
I feel weird about going home this weekend and being noticeably pregnant in front of my parents. My high school bff talked me through my feelings and we concluded that it's because I grew up in such a conservative household that it's just uncomfortable and kind of embarrassing to admit I did what needs to be done to have a baby. Even though my mom and I talk about my pregnancy all the time! My solution is to just hide my bump as well as I can.
Am I the only one feeling this way lol
Yes! However, when I was pregnant with DS2, DH's sister and DH's SIL were pregnant at the same time. I was due July 2015, SIL Nov 2015 and DH's sister December 2015. This kept the focus off of only me. This time, DH's sister is pregnant and due in Sept so the focus again isn't all on me.
I am guilty at posting the bare belly bump picture while lifting my shirt. I will never share it with public but I have done it that way for the Wednesday bump day threads.
I only started it because my PGAL loss brain liked seeing the changes in my body but I'm definitely OK with posting a fully clothed picture if that is what make people more comfortable on here.
I HATE old conservative men....well, at least the ones I work for .
Today, one of my board members asked what my plans were after maternity leave. I said, I would return to do my job. He then said, "Well, what will your schedule be?" I said, "The same as now." And then proceeded to ask a number of questions about when I work, how many days, etc.
And then had the nerve to say, "And you really think that is possible after having a baby?" I just about lost it. But I nicely said, "Well, I have a supportive husband and family members to help, so yes, it will be possible."
Shit like this pisses me off because no one would dare ask a man these questions. I understand asking questions about maternity leave and that some women want to change their work responsibilities after having a baby...but I have maintained I will do my job, just as expected, after having a baby. It's bullshit for him to question whether it's possible because I know he wouldn't ask a new father if it is was possible.
So, yeah, my FFFC is I hate old conservative men with sexist mindsets....hate may be a strong word, but I am feeling angry right now.
@MKMandeville You show that bump if you want. It doesn't make me uncomfortable and even if it did, you do you! Like I said, I love seeing the bumps get bigger, especially from the PGAL and PAIF moms. It's the creepers with belly fetishes that make me get freaked out!
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
FFFC, I will probably not have large birthday parties for my kids. Ever.
I attended my nieces birthday party over the weekend, and 16 kids were invited.... SIXTEEN. TEN YEAR OLDS. I about lost my mind because it was so darn loud. And it was primarily an outdoor party (which was a good thing) but every so often all of them would run into the house and be yelling and screaming about something until all the adults could shoo them back to the backyard.
I now understand why my mom only let me invite 4-5 kids to my birthday parties. Also, more kids cost more money to feed, and we were pretty broke growing up.
@kwaldy I teach 24 ten year olds and yes, it does get loud. I'm with you on not having extravagant birthday parties, but they will probably be big since we have big families and we will invite every kid in LO's class so no one is left out.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
Wow, just wow. Well, the definition of a mother does not mean you have stay at home and give up your career or who you are as a person to raise a child. And what about the father? They get off the hook?
I am choosing to have a child, and I am choosing to support it and raise it. How will I do that? By working, but setting an example that mother's come in all forms, that women have choices and this isn't the ass-backward world of the 1950's and before.
Your comment is highly judgmental and way off base. I support any mother's choice. If she wants to stay home and can afford to, so be it. If she wants to or needs to work, then that's her choice or what needs to be done.
You are assuming that 1) all women have a choice financially to stay home and 2) that it's what best for the child. You must clearly look down on single mom's who have to work and I assume me as well. Since I run an organization and will be a working a mom.
Jobs just don't wait for you to come back to them and I pull in 70% of my family's income. So just leaving the workforce isn't an option. You deserve to get flamed for that comment and I will happily be the first to do it.
You have no right to say that having a baby means you should have to give up your career, your livelihood and your ability to provide for your family. That is such an ignorant comment to make. SMDH.
I HATE the word bougie. People butcher its usage and it's overused anyway. Plus, the shortened word is nothing like the long version.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
We already have a hard enough time being respected when we only take off the 12 Weeks (or less!) allotted to us. You think there will be careers for us all in 6 years? Some might get lucky but many many would be disregarded for taking that amount of time off. On another note, there are plenty who would love to stay at home but their families can't afford it. Some can't even afford the 12 Weeks of FMLA because it's all unpaid.
This was a bold statement that I very much disagree with and this is coming from someone who would love to stay home until all of her kids are grown but most likely can't. I don't contribute to our income as much as DH does but I contribute a pretty significant amount and it would hurt our standard of living for me to not work. I'll likely have a breakdown when I do have to go back to work and hand over my child to someone else.
@c+mpeachy I respectfully disagree. I am one of those women who teaches those children while their parents are at work and what I do is important. Rules that married or pregnant teachers couldn't be teachers were eliminated about oh, say, 100 years ago because they were outdated and sexist. Women joined the work force out of necessity during World War II in the US and in many parts of the country, a family cannot survive on one income. I spend more time with children than their parents do during the week. Does that mean that all parents shouldn't work or just ones who are not yet school age? I am having a baby and I will be a working mother.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
Not going to flame... but going to agree to disagree. I will never knock a stay at home mom and I will never knock a working mom. Everyone is doing what they think is right for their families.
For me, it doesn't make financial sense for me to stay home. My job has a pretty decent salary, and excellent benefits. The health insurance itself is worth its weight in gold.
Edited to add: I have read more than one study about children of working moms being more adjusted and verbal than those of SAHMs. I don't know how much validity is behind that, but it makes me feel much better about continuing to be a working mom.
Wow. Just wow. I did decide to have a baby. I did decide to be a mother. And I did decide to continue working because I like the level of comfort that my income provides. I want to be able to send my kids to college without them having to take on mountains of debt and I want to be able to take them on trips around to world so that they learn that there are other people and other ways of life. My working is me being a responsible parent and mother.
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
I could not disagree with you more. As the breadwinner of our family, we would totally change our way of life for me to stay home. Not to mention, I would not be fulfilled staying home. I fully support stay at home moms but that is not a life I want to live.
Also, growing up with a strong mom that was a joint owner of a company taught me that I can be a mom and anything else I want to be. It also taught me to be independent and self sufficient. I hope to instill those values in my children as well.
This is really hurtful. I work, have a son, and am pregnant. I will return to work again when my daughter is born. So that's me not being a mother? No. That IS me being a mother, providing another source of stable income, being a great role model, and challenging and fulfilling myself through continuing education.
@cait32 Easy there. We've had minimal drama here, and we like it that way. No bat signals necessary, but thanks for explaining how it works. The gender disappointment thread was not a big deal, was commented on by several regs, and was being respected as a safe space even by those who don't like it.
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
That was really uncomfortable to read.
I'm a SAHM but the majority of women here are not. You seem to be implying that women who work to provide for their growing families love their children less. And I don't think you could be more wrong.
Women receive plenty of shame and judgment for their parenting decisions (which are not always easy to come to) without it being added to by fellow mothers.
My first post was pretty incensed after I just posted my FFFC and then to see another mother post something in the same vein was not only ridiculous, but was also hurtful.
I'm not touching that FFFC with a 10 foot pole. That was an asinine comment that doesn't even deserve a response.
@MississippiCatfish I guess we'll find out in time if she's a troll. If we get a "real mothers only breastfeed" and a "vaccines cause autism - how could you inject your child with poison" thread, then I'll call troll.
And i didn't mean to offend anyone....its my opinion and therefore, just like all opinions, only relevant to myself. I am very much a traditional roles type person. Totally politically incorrect these days and not at all the way 99% of people choose to live. I know this. And i dont care. You do you and i do me. And I dont judge other mums about it, cause I dont live their lives. I have even been a mother who worked while having small children because I had to....like many of you, my income kept food on our table.
But my post did have other intentions....how flame free is this really? How accepting of other people's views are we actually being? I watched earlier this week as a FTM put up a post that greatly affected her emotions. She mistakingly put it in the wrong place....I was uncomfortable with where she said what she said....but then that girl had to endure 2 days worth of what i found to be abusive and confrontational bullying. She came to a place she thought was safe to admit something that she probably found too difficult to admit anywhere else. And she got pounded. I found THIS more offensive than her earlier posting of a highly sensitive subject.
Re: FFFC 6/23/17
https://www.mnstatefair.org/find/new-food/
I only started it because my PGAL loss brain liked seeing the changes in my body but I'm definitely OK with posting a fully clothed picture if that is what make people more comfortable on here.
Today, one of my board members asked what my plans were after maternity leave. I said, I would return to do my job. He then said, "Well, what will your schedule be?" I said, "The same as now." And then proceeded to ask a number of questions about when I work, how many days, etc.
And then had the nerve to say, "And you really think that is possible after having a baby?" I just about lost it. But I nicely said, "Well, I have a supportive husband and family members to help, so yes, it will be possible."
Shit like this pisses me off because no one would dare ask a man these questions. I understand asking questions about maternity leave and that some women want to change their work responsibilities after having a baby...but I have maintained I will do my job, just as expected, after having a baby. It's bullshit for him to question whether it's possible because I know he wouldn't ask a new father if it is was possible.
So, yeah, my FFFC is I hate old conservative men with sexist mindsets....hate may be a strong word, but I am feeling angry right now.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I attended my nieces birthday party over the weekend, and 16 kids were invited.... SIXTEEN. TEN YEAR OLDS. I about lost my mind because it was so darn loud. And it was primarily an outdoor party (which was a good thing) but every so often all of them would run into the house and be yelling and screaming about something until all the adults could shoo them back to the backyard.
I now understand why my mom only let me invite 4-5 kids to my birthday parties. Also, more kids cost more money to feed, and we were pretty broke growing up.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
I dont think mums of kids under school age should work out of home. You decided to have a baby. You decided to be a mother. Be a mother. You can be a corporate something or other in 6 years when they are at school.
Wow, just wow. Well, the definition of a mother does not mean you have stay at home and give up your career or who you are as a person to raise a child. And what about the father? They get off the hook?
I am choosing to have a child, and I am choosing to support it and raise it. How will I do that? By working, but setting an example that mother's come in all forms, that women have choices and this isn't the ass-backward world of the 1950's and before.
Your comment is highly judgmental and way off base. I support any mother's choice. If she wants to stay home and can afford to, so be it. If she wants to or needs to work, then that's her choice or what needs to be done.
You are assuming that 1) all women have a choice financially to stay home and 2) that it's what best for the child. You must clearly look down on single mom's who have to work and I assume me as well. Since I run an organization and will be a working a mom.
Jobs just don't wait for you to come back to them and I pull in 70% of my family's income. So just leaving the workforce isn't an option. You deserve to get flamed for that comment and I will happily be the first to do it.
You have no right to say that having a baby means you should have to give up your career, your livelihood and your ability to provide for your family. That is such an ignorant comment to make. SMDH.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
This was a bold statement that I very much disagree with and this is coming from someone who would love to stay home until all of her kids are grown but most likely can't. I don't contribute to our income as much as DH does but I contribute a pretty significant amount and it would hurt our standard of living for me to not work. I'll likely have a breakdown when I do have to go back to work and hand over my child to someone else.
I found this quite hurtful.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
For me, it doesn't make financial sense for me to stay home. My job has a pretty decent salary, and excellent benefits. The health insurance itself is worth its weight in gold.
Edited to add: I have read more than one study about children of working moms being more adjusted and verbal than those of SAHMs. I don't know how much validity is behind that, but it makes me feel much better about continuing to be a working mom.
Also, growing up with a strong mom that was a joint owner of a company taught me that I can be a mom and anything else I want to be. It also taught me to be independent and self sufficient. I hope to instill those values in my children as well.
Tell me you you are joking... please?
No. That IS me being a mother, providing another source of stable income, being a great role model, and challenging and fulfilling myself through continuing education.
Sorry kid I'm a corporate something. I've been disqualified.
@c+mpeachey Absolutely disagree.
I'm a SAHM but the majority of women here are not. You seem to be implying that women who work to provide for their growing families love their children less. And I don't think you could be more wrong.
Women receive plenty of shame and judgment for their parenting decisions (which are not always easy to come to) without it being added to by fellow mothers.
My first post was pretty incensed after I just posted my FFFC and then to see another mother post something in the same vein was not only ridiculous, but was also hurtful.
@MississippiCatfish I guess we'll find out in time if she's a troll. If we get a "real mothers only breastfeed" and a "vaccines cause autism - how could you inject your child with poison" thread, then I'll call troll.
And i didn't mean to offend anyone....its my opinion and therefore, just like all opinions, only relevant to myself. I am very much a traditional roles type person. Totally politically incorrect these days and not at all the way 99% of people choose to live. I know this. And i dont care. You do you and i do me. And I dont judge other mums about it, cause I dont live their lives. I have even been a mother who worked while having small children because I had to....like many of you, my income kept food on our table.
But my post did have other intentions....how flame free is this really? How accepting of other people's views are we actually being? I watched earlier this week as a FTM put up a post that greatly affected her emotions. She mistakingly put it in the wrong place....I was uncomfortable with where she said what she said....but then that girl had to endure 2 days worth of what i found to be abusive and confrontational bullying. She came to a place she thought was safe to admit something that she probably found too difficult to admit anywhere else. And she got pounded. I found THIS more offensive than her earlier posting of a highly sensitive subject.
Why can't we just be kind?
Oh and @cait32 ....you can go back to lurking.