May Venting/WTF/FFC

SandNStarsNJ · May 2017

ZoeFer said:

@lajoliedreamer this is so true! It was the case before the baby was born and now the baby is added to my mental load. I hate when he tells me to ask him if I need help. Helping me means that I am the responsible person and he can help me. And we both realized that I `thank` him when he does things for baby. Then he says that she is her daughter as well and I should not thank him but if he is `helping` me than it makes sense to thank him right ?

This. DH does this and only when it's really convenient. And where I get really irritated is that he moves through things when we are in public or when he thinks he's helping when he has no friggin' clue. And it isn't control freak things; it's like how much Infant Tylenol LO gets at this weight or what's consider pajamas... and maybe it's me, but if I didn't know those things, I'd ask, but he just gave some Tylenol and assumed it was correct (which it wasn't).

SandNStarsNJ · May 2017

And I'm back... DH just told me he's done with having kids. His reason is that every time I get out of bed in the middle of the night it affects him too. In what way, dear husband? Because all I'm hearing in this brief diatribe is that you DO wake up when the monitor goes off and are simply pretending to not... for TWO kids, asshat. Thanks.

kristah2 · May 2017

@SandNStarsNJ seriously?! Oh sorry me getting up to tend to our child bothers you... i would be so annoyed.

hoosiermama-2 · May 2017

give him a thump on the head, @SandNStarsNJ

hoosiermama-2 · May 2017

From me!

camcbeth · May 2017

Not baby related, but venting.

My my two cats have fleas. I'm so grossed out. It was my husband's first day back to work for the week too. And taking care of two kids, bathing two cats, cleaning everything I'm so tired and grossed out.

kvruns · May 2017

Definitely annoying @SandNStarsNJ

@camcbeth gross! Our dog got them from the dog next door last year and it freaked me out. I didn't do any of the work de-fleaing but it was still gross to me knowing they could be in the house

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

@camcbeth have you tried Capster? It's a pill you give the cat that helps kill off the fleas. We took our cat in from a park and I was super paranoid about fleas. She got capster and multiple flea baths.

Ladybug2821 · May 2017

I have a couple vents today. I've told H several times not to distract S when she's nursing. She will keep pulling off and look over at him and laugh. He thinks its funny so he does it anyway. I've literally yelled at him over this. I've told him don't even make a sound when I'm nursing her in the MOTN because normally she will go right back to sleep after. Last night he starts talking, 1. I don't care and do not want to talk to you because its 3am and I'm tired, 2. now she's pulling off and looking all around so STFU. So of course she wouldn't go right to sleep afterwards and it took an extra 10 mins (which is actually a pretty decent amount of time because normally it can take an hour) to get her back to sleep. I told him don't EVER talk again while she is nursing in the MOTN because it will then become his problem getting her back to sleep.

This morning I just spent a stupid amount of time on the phone with Amazon because they did not update my payment info correctly for the subscribe and save pampers and the order was cancelled. I just hate having to call places because they can't do things correctly.

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

@ladybug2821 I'd murder my husband if he did that so props to you for self control. And Amazon subscribe and save suuuucks. We used autoship for our cat food from wag.com and then it got bought by Amazon. I started a new subscribe and save on the 12th and it's not shipping until May 29th. The cat is fine with it, she loves her some fancy feast and friskies.

kvruns · May 2017

@ladybug2821 yep he needs to get her back to sleep then! hope Amazon gets it fixed because I've seen they are running some awesome Pampers swaddlers deals lately.

SandNStarsNJ · May 2017

@Ladybug2821 DH did this and still overstimulates the kids before bed, which I think is because he's the kind of person who can watch tv to fall asleep. I actually have to monitor him when it comes to the kids' bedtime!

m6agua · May 2017

@ladybug2821 I EFF but LO is getting to that age where she is so distracted while eating. Over the weekend I had a few events to go to and my mom was just standing by me looking at LO while she was eating. She was eating so terribly because of it! I had to tell my mom to go away.

MrsMaryK2016 · May 2017

I just read this article about how babies stimulate adults to produce oxytocin and that in women it causes them to be gentle, empathetic and soothing. But in men it causes them to be more playful. So I think it's probably all men who just don't get when to stop playing and when to calm down. I know my H doesn't get it either!

lajoliedreamer · May 2017

camcbeth said:

Not baby related, but venting.

My my two cats have fleas. I'm so grossed out. It was my husband's first day back to work for the week too. And taking care of two kids, bathing two cats, cleaning everything I'm so tired and grossed out.

Our cat got them the first year we moved here. Borax sprinkled on the carpet, left for a bit, then vaccuumed helped to get rid of any living in the carpet. I also spent time everyday closed in the bathroom with the cat combing out his fleas and throwing them in the toilet, but I can't imagine having time for that with kids in the house.

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

My God, you guys, I'm going to murder someone today. My incredibly needy boss is on a business trip and his normal assistant is on vacation. It's a small office and almost everyone is out today so I'm clearing out the conference room after every meeting. He then had the nerve to call and criticize me because I haven't been at my desk 3 times when he called. Are you effing kidding me? These meetings are on his calendar!

lajoliedreamer · May 2017

@RhodaMorgenstern - that sucks. I had a boss like that at my last job and I left that job pissed almost everyday (I was his assistant and always covering his ass when he was late or unresponsive). Poor DH had to listen to me vent every night and I became such a negative person. Hopefully it's not at that point for you. Maybe you need to find a new job. I hope your day gets better!

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

This day has actually managed to get worse. I want all of the wine right now.

lajoliedreamer · May 2017

I'm sorry it's gotten worse instead of better, @RhodaMorgenstern. Hang in there - wine time is coming!!

tvh1982 · May 2017

Sorry to hear your day got worse @RhodaMorgenstern
Ask for one of these keyboards!

lajoliedreamer · May 2017

Also, look up Kristina Kuzmic on facebook. She just reposted a video called priorities that you'll appreciate.

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

That was brilliant @lajoliedreamer. It's inspired me to get a bottle of wine, soak in the tub with a face mask and watch some Kimmy Schmidt as soon as I get home. I'll pump first because I'm dying. They're like straight up rocks.

lajoliedreamer · May 2017

RhodaMorgenstern said:

That was brilliant @lajoliedreamer. It's inspired me to get a bottle of wine, soak in the tub with a face mask and watch some Kimmy Schmidt as soon as I get home. I'll pump first because I'm dying. They're like straight up rocks.

Glad you're inspired - it's a great plan! That makes me mad that you haven't been able to pump enough today. Your body needs it and it would have been a break for you on a day when you more than needed it. *hugs*

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

Guys, I'm about to head home but I just wanted to say thank you. You all saved my sanity today.

camcbeth · May 2017

@RhodaMorgenstern someone mentioned caster, I think it was the lady at the pet store. I didn't buy it because I had an appointment for the vet. I will definitely keep that one in mind. Thanks.

@lajoliedreamer I just ran out of the fogger the vet gave me so I'll have to use borax. Glad you said that because I didn't want to go online to search for more Siphotrol.

Fleas as suck big time. I can handle the vomit and diarrhea any day. Bugs, no. Just no. I've had a migraine the last two nights. All I've done is deep clean the whole house and laundry. I hate laundry. If it touched the floor in the wash it goes. My husband thinks I'm over reacting. I'm just so grossed out by it. I haven't put the baby S on the carpet for two days. Half the house is carpet, the other half hardwood and tile. The carpet is brand new, 9 months new. Now the eggs can live for up to a year in the carpet. Ahhh! I'm spraying everything like crazy. It's nice to know I'm not the only one this has happened to. Thanks for the support!

SandNStarsNJ · May 2017

@camcbeth We has fleas that justbwouldnt quit right before our first LO was born. We used foggers, sprays, every over the counter option, but eventually had to hire someone to take care of them as the medication for the cat kicked in. Good luck. Hope they clear out soon!

mrsmoose5 · May 2017

@camcbeth Omg I am with you on the flea bandwagon! Our stupid dog got them about a week ago (ok, I'm sure he got them much more than a week ago, but we got the diagnosis from the vet then) and I am losing my mind! DH and I are seriously going to get divorced over this dog. The fleas are the least of the problems. But I get where you are coming from ... I am SO grossed out. He took the flea medication, which is supposed to kill them all in 24 hours, but he has still been scratching like crazy. I have been vacuuming the house up and down, I threw out the dog beds, sprayed, DH sprayed the yard, but I'm still not convinced they're gone. I had a serious nervous breakdown when DH came home and said it was fleas. DH swore up and down he would help clean the house and deal with the problem, but has he done a single thing other than spray the yard? NOPE.

Also, on an unrelated note: I might be a bit MIA on here for a while. My iPhone randomly stopped working and I can't get it looked at until Monday, and I'm rarely at my computer during the day, soooo no Bump for me

leighry · May 2017

Oh ladies I have feels for all your vents!! On the subject of gross pets my dog had explosive... gargantuan amounts of explosive diarrhea the other morning. Thank God we had her in her crate. My husband woke me at 0430 and was like "you need to come down here and look at this." And then guess who got to deal with her all day??? Ding ding ding. She seems to be better today but I almost lost my mind with her and the 4 kids. Wtf.

My husband also is on the over stimulate boat but only when I don't want him to.. otherwise he is happy to leave our 3 girls (almost 6, 4 and 2.5) in front of a tv or tablet all day so they don't bother him. So then I have to ride his ass to take them outside on the swingset or in the driveway to ride scooters bikes sidewalk chalk etc. Men. Pffft.

Stand strong ladies. If it weren't for us our families wouldn't survive it sounds like haha

camcbeth · May 2017

@mrsmoose5 I hope yours go away soon too! And hurry back to the bump! @SandNStarsNJ I'm jealous yours are gone. And super jealous you didn't have little ones around to entertain while cleaning it all up. @leighry I seriously would rather be dealing with explosive dog poop.

kvruns · May 2017

Confession: just had a very intense dream that still has me worked up. The gist was my H confessing he'd been cheating on me for a year and wanted a divorce. Met her while at a playground when they were feeding the kids. And he had no problem with her kid or helping take care of it even tho he can't take care of ours.

So a few non plausible parts but otherwise yikes subconscious.

Vent: in working from home today because B has his 6 month appt this afternoon. Apparently H decided to take today off since he has time to burn. I'm so annoyed that my peace and quiet at home is being interrupted.

kristah2 · May 2017

FFC: should be feeding M. Instead he's in his high chair with toys while I sit at he table and enjoy s bowl of Cheerios and coffee. His breakfast also next to mine... sorry kid.. you had me up 640, imma enjoy my breakfast.

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

@kvruns how did the dream make you feel when you woke up?

kvruns · May 2017

RhodaMorgenstern said:

@kvruns how did the dream make you feel when you woke up?

Mostly just on edge from it all. Although even in the dream there was some relief that the uncertainty of this all was finally over. I probably reacted more strongly in the dream than I would in real life

RhodaMorgenstern · May 2017

@kvruns I once had a therapist who told me that even when bad things happen in dreams, it's your subconscious trying to tell you what you really want. The on edge feeling is the worst but the fact that you felt relief in the dream says something. Sending hugs your way. I've been a witness to a failing marriage and that was hard enough. I can't imagine being in the middle of it.

leighry · May 2017

@kvruns with my first 3 pregnancies I had dreams all the time my husband was cheating. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and either be irrationally mad and make him sleep on the couch or cry and make him reassure me he wasn't cheating. He usually was a good sport about it but eventually he was tired of it. If I'm not pregnant I rarely have those dreams. Dreams are weird. I'm sorry you had such a shitty one!

SandNStarsNJ · May 2017

FFC: I just pulled the underwire out of my bra and it feels good.

kvruns · May 2017

My wedding anniversary is Monday and we haven't discussed it at all. Not that we would be able to do anything bc of LO although my mom did say they could watch him a bit if I wanted. I'm totally fine with pretending it doesn't exist.

camcbeth · May 2017

@kvruns I'm sorry. I wish I could give advice to make you feel better. If I did, I'd say go to dinner and see where it leads.

tvh1982 · May 2017

Maybe doing something with just the two of you is a good thing @kvruns?
See if there's still enough left of what made you say I do!

kristah2 · May 2017

Ugh. I worry my marriage is gone to shits. DH just dropped all the truth bombs last night. I was (admittedly) pissy because he said he was leaving work at 530 and showed up at 730. This has been happening a lot lately. I sent some texts I probably shouldn't have bitching him out but my problem is his reality of time. Don't tell me you're leaving at a certain time if you're not because we depend on that.
He takes it all wrong and says I hate his job (not true no matter how much I repeated myself). He says :
-we're just roomates
- he has no desire to have sex with me anymore and it was hard for him last time and he'd rather just not.
- that he's worried about my career and he feels like he needs to work hard to pick up my slack (ok he knew my degree and salary when he married me. And we've talked on MANY occassions about my eventually staying home).
- many days he doesn't even want to leave work to come home because he'd rather be there then here.

And then wondered why I was upset and went to be at 10.
Needless to say he slept in the spare room (not before coming in at 230 to get his pillows/disturb me).

Ugh. We just bought a house and a car and had a child and I spent the last 4 years moving everywhere for him and his career. Enough I couldn't get myself established. This is lovely.

ETA: and our second car (his) broke down yesterday. Ugh
also sorry for the super personal vent. I have no one else to go to because people are SO judgemental.

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