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May Venting/WTF/FFC

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Re: May Venting/WTF/FFC

  • Ladybug2821Ladybug2821 member
    Mother in Law shipped us some sleepers from Carter's for S.  They are 3 months so they are too small.  For whatever reason, she took the tags completely off.  I took them to Carter's yesterday just to do an exchange and the girl was acting very weird towards me like I was trying to pull a fast one or something.  S never wore them, nor did I even try them on her because she wears 6 months now.  She did a thorough inspection of them like she was trying to find a way not to take them back.  One of them had a small stain near the arm that I never noticed because 1. you could barely see it, 2. I didn't inspect it because she couldn't wear it anyway.  The girl said I can't take this back because its dirty.  No...its not dirty, your other location sold it that way miss.  The whole thing really irritated me, not because I couldn't return it but because of how she acted.  Think I will be contacting Carter's. 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    @ladybug2821 how strange she sent you 3 month?? That stinks it was a hassle with the return. I can definitely see it both ways.  I did contact Carter's when I sleeper we had turned my LO's feet green when he got sweaty and they sent me a gift card for replacement value so maybe they will be helpful too. 
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  • Ladybug2821Ladybug2821 member
    @kvruns If she just said I couldn't return them, I would've been completely fine with it.  It was just how she went about it and how she said it.  It just all seemed very weird to me.  MIL actually bought the items back in March and just recently got around to shipping them.  S can fit some 3-6 months clothes so I'm guessing she thought it would work.  I'm just wondering why she felt the need to take the entire tag off.  If a price was on it, she could've just tore that part off.
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  • RhodaMorgensternRhodaMorgenstern member
    I've been up since 5 am and at work since 7 because my boss can't be bothered to dial the phone. I feel like I've been here all day and am about to scream.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    I should not have gotten on the scale
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  • desoky01desoky01 member
    Ok, you all convinced me. We are trying to plan a barbeque to celebrate our wedding (since we eloped) our new house (even though this is our second summer in it) and LO. MIL thinks it's a wedding reception, so she keeps obsessing about every little detail wanting to make it a wedding. From a wedding cake, to a dress, to a photo booth, flowers, a groom's cake, etc. It's driving me crazy. H and I pretty much just wanted a very relaxed day to celebrate life and the good things from the last couple years. I want to get a dress, but she insists ""the groom shouldn't see it before the day." It's not a wedding! I hate trying to be nice and fight off the offers and input. Oh, and they want to pay for it (which is awesome!) so it feels weird to say no to things.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    desoky01 said:
    Ok, you all convinced me. We are trying to plan a barbeque to celebrate our wedding (since we eloped) our new house (even though this is our second summer in it) and LO. MIL thinks it's a wedding reception, so she keeps obsessing about every little detail wanting to make it a wedding. From a wedding cake, to a dress, to a photo booth, flowers, a groom's cake, etc. It's driving me crazy. H and I pretty much just wanted a very relaxed day to celebrate life and the good things from the last couple years. I want to get a dress, but she insists ""the groom shouldn't see it before the day." It's not a wedding! I hate trying to be nice and fight off the offers and input. Oh, and they want to pay for it (which is awesome!) so it feels weird to say no to things.
    remind her that you had a wedding - you eloped but that was still your wedding since it is when you became married. If you want to get a fun/special dress for a party or have cake, sure, but yea it isn't a wedding or a reception.  Maybe just say you'll take her suggestions into consideration and just try not to bring up any party details if you can. That would probably mean not having them pay unless they are just saying heres XYZ amount of money for your party. 
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  • SandNStarsNJSandNStarsNJ member
    desoky01 said:
    Ok, you all convinced me. We are trying to plan a barbeque to celebrate our wedding (since we eloped) our new house (even though this is our second summer in it) and LO. MIL thinks it's a wedding reception, so she keeps obsessing about every little detail wanting to make it a wedding. From a wedding cake, to a dress, to a photo booth, flowers, a groom's cake, etc. It's driving me crazy. H and I pretty much just wanted a very relaxed day to celebrate life and the good things from the last couple years. I want to get a dress, but she insists ""the groom shouldn't see it before the day." It's not a wedding! I hate trying to be nice and fight off the offers and input. Oh, and they want to pay for it (which is awesome!) so it feels weird to say no to things.
    Maybe spin it so the focus becomes LO. Then she'll see it's not a "wedding". Though at the same time if she doesn't have another child getting married, she probably very badly wants the whole wedding ordeal experience so it might be hard to change her mind.
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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  • desoky01desoky01 member
    I definitely think that's part of it, she wants the wedding experience. But we considered our little elopement (which family was a part of) to be our wedding. We had dinner after with our families, and we felt it was a wedding. We had a dress and suit, rings, all that stuff. It just wasn't large scale. I'm hoping she'll just calm down with more time and once she sees that we aren't making these elaborate plans. Either that or I'll just have to have an awkward potentially hurtful conversation.
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  • camcbethcamcbeth member
    @desoky01 my mom was crazy for both my siblings weddings. I was first so she didn't know what to expect, but then once she knew she acted like their weddings were something she was playing hostess for. Trying to please everyone including all of her side of the family. Maybe that's what your MIL is thinking. I'm sure you'll know if she presents you with a guest list of her own. Good luck! And I hope you get to celebrate the great things that have happened in the last few years the way you want. 
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  • mrsmoose5mrsmoose5 member
    edited May 2017
    So beyond irritated with H right now! DD was up every hour of the night last night, so finally when she woke up for the millionth time around 5, I nursed her back to sleep, put her in her crib and gave the monitor to H, telling him she'd been up all night long and I needed some sleep. He said ok and I went back to bed. Well, a few minutes later I hear her start fussing (of course, this has been going on all night), then several minutes of more fussing, then several minutes of screaming (happy, playful screaming). Mind you, I'm all the way on the opposite end of the hall with the door closed and DS is sleeping in the room right next to hers. I'm laying in bed thinking "WTF is H doing" and hoping he's not letting her get up for the day at 5 a.m. Finally I've had enough, I can't sleep through it and I'm worried about her waking DS so I go in her room to see what's going on. She is wide awake in her crib playing/screaming and H is just sitting in the rocker drinking his coffee looking at his phone. She can't even see him because I put the bumper in her crib a few days ago, so he might as well not even be there. I confront him and ask him what he's doing and he just goes, "What? She's wide awake." I KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE ZERO ATTEMPT TO GET HER BACK TO SLEEP. So I take over and try to rock her, but by now she's fully awake. So this is awesome. She went to bed at 8 pm, was up from about 12:30-2 plus many other wake ups, and now she's up for the day at 5 am and I got basically no sleep. 

    ETA: He's now huffing and puffing around the house acting mad at me because how dare I call him out I guess??? Just go to work, H, 90% of the time it's better when you're not here anyway. Sorry, I am just a venting machine this morning.
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  • SandNStarsNJSandNStarsNJ member
    @mrsmoose5 My god does that suck! I hope there are naps in your future - hang in there!
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    @mrsmoose5 did the day get better?
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    I'm back to "woe is me" territory. Even though I know I'm not doing anything wrong with LO I do have the feeling of I'm not doing things right/doing things well. I think the rain all week isn't helping since we can't get out for our usual post-daycare walks so he's been extra fussy in the evenings. But aside from that I think of things I should be doing, I never read him books - I just don't think about it or he goes from 0-60 on the fussy-meter in the evening so there isn't really time, I don't know when/how I'll ever get around to feeding him food since he gets pretty fussy in evenings so sometimes it is just daycare, walk, bed, no "fun" time, should take him out in the carrier more but I dont, etc.  Logically know I'm doing things fine, hell crack heads can still raise kids and I'm doing way better than that, but still I feel like I should be doing more, I just don't know how. 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    tvh1982 said:
    ^^^^^ that!

    and read the following...it's a great read. Just look past the language if you are easily offended, and appreciate the very true points.

    https://hurrahforgin.com/2016/07/07/the-shitty-guilt-fairy/

    Edit: forgot the link :open_mouth:
    too funny
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  • mrsmoose5mrsmoose5 member
    @kvruns The day got better just because he went to work, which is sad to say, but it just feels like life and our home is much more peaceful when he's gone. I used to look forward to him being home on weekends and now I don't. It's nice to have an extra set of hands with the kids, but he is just so negative and irritable. Any "help" (aka parenting) I get from him seems to come at a cost - him complaining, getting agitated, or making me feel guilty about something. It's been going on since before this LO was born and I'm just over it. I've tried talking to him about it and he did confess that he thinks he's so grouchy at home because he started smoking cigarettes frequently at work, and at home he doesn't have that stress relief I guess. He said he would try to be better, but nothing's changed. He's constantly sending the message in a thousand tiny ways that he doesn't want to be home, feels burdened and stressed by the kids, and wishes he could just do his own thing. It's just hard to work so hard at raising our family and making a happy, fun, peaceful home (which it is when he's a work) only to feel like he resents us even if he doesn't say it.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    @mrsmoose5 I know exactly what you are going through and it sucks to be living it. Wish I had answers but all i have is hugs. 
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  • ZoeFerZoeFer member
    @kvruns That is exactly how I feel these days. Especially, looking at those perfect-mom blogs make me feel like a terrible and ignorant mom. My friend who has a baby a week before mine texts me to tell how she takes her LO to different classes and how much they enjoy them. And I feel like crap, I did not do any of that ! Too much pressure on parents now, our generation did not get this much stimulation like these babies and we turned out well. I do my best, put all my time and energy to her and I hope it is enough because I cannot do anything more. 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    ZoeFer said:
    @kvruns That is exactly how I feel these days. Especially, looking at those perfect-mom blogs make me feel like a terrible and ignorant mom. My friend who has a baby a week before mine texts me to tell how she takes her LO to different classes and how much they enjoy them. And I feel like crap, I did not do any of that ! Too much pressure on parents now, our generation did not get this much stimulation like these babies and we turned out well. I do my best, put all my time and energy to her and I hope it is enough because I cannot do anything more. 
    I try to keep that mindset a lot too. My grandparents didn't have all these crazy stimulating toys/chairs/contraptions and my parents turned out fine; we had some more stuff when we were babies but still not a ton and we turned out fine too. 
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  • Ladybug2821Ladybug2821 member
    @zoefer @kvruns I think a big difference is most moms have to work in this day and age to help support their family.  My grandmother, mom, and aunt were lucky enough to be SAHMs.  Granted, not everyone wants to be a SAHM, but I would love to be one if I could.  They didn't have all the gadgets like we do now, but they themselves stimulated the baby because they had the time to do it.  If I was home, I would be able to take my LO to classes and other things, but what I'm finding in my area is that a lot of that is limited on the weekends.  Which I find crazy being that so many moms only have the weekend to do those types of things.  As long as your LO is loved and well taken care of that is all that matters.
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  • camcbethcamcbeth member
    edited May 2017
    Ditto! I don't know how some moms have so much energy to plan a play date a day or a class. I'm exhausted when I take ODD to preschool 2 mornings a week, swim lessons twice a week and dance once a week. Then I try to fit in a mommy and me meeting once a week because we are new to the area and I don't know many people. I mean it took till March before I finally met some other moms from preschool because I invited people to my kids birthday, yet we've been invited to none. I fight with trying to get to know people because I feel so alone, but now that I am I don't want to go to the play dates. I feel like I fight borderline depression because sometimes I just want to stay at home. I just don't have the motivation or drive to go out. Well, and maybe I have an irrational fear my 4yr old will get sick. Two weeks ago I did go to a play date and one of the boys came down with norovirus.
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  • kecunningham23kecunningham23 member
    My LO is 6 months old on the 17th and her father has only taken her overnight 1 time since birth. We aren't together but he swore to me that he would be here to help and would want to take her. In the past month he has seen her about 45 mins total when he fights with his ex wife for time with his other daughter.

    When do I get the picture and just move on? How long does it take to get over the fact of being a single mom when I am still expecting him to be here for us? 
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  • kristah2kristah2 member
    @kecunningham23 sorry you're going through a hard time. 
    Maybe you both need to seek out a lawyer and get an agreement in place. This will help with both of your expectations and responsibilities. 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    @kecunningham23 hugs to you, only you can decide what is right for you but keep looking st those signs. I know it isn't the same but while I am married i struggling with a husband who can't take care of the baby and general wants nothing to do with him (well or me half the time as a result). I understand the difficulty of
    wanting/hoping your LO father will step up and want to be there for his baby but also building up that strength knowing you are doing it all yourself. 
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  • m6aguam6agua member
    edited May 2017
    kecunningham23 said:
    My LO is 6 months old on the 17th and her father has only taken her overnight 1 time since birth. We aren't together but he swore to me that he would be here to help and would want to take her. In the past month he has seen her about 45 mins total when he fights with his ex wife for time with his other daughter.

    When do I get the picture and just move on? How long does it take to get over the fact of being a single mom when I am still expecting him to be here for us? 
    Hello,

    Looks like you are new to the bump, welcome. Do you think you could post your own thread introducing yourself and maybe telling us a little about you and your LO? I'm sorry about your situation. I do hesitate to give any feedback because I don't *know* you. We've all gotten to know each other a bit throughout our journeys and I'm sure everyone here will be welcoming. I just personally would like to know a bit more about you, before I become invested. I guess maybe I am a little jaded from being on the TTGP board where there are so many people who come an post one thing expecting to get a ton of support but never come back to give it as well.

    ETA: To the group. Maybe do we want to have another roll call thread? I know there has been a couple mamas from other BMB that have joined us.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

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  • hoosiermama-2hoosiermama-2 member
    Great call, @m6agua!


    No matter how often I clip and file LOs nails she tears herself up lately! Her poor little face has little knicks everywhere :tired_face: I'm going to be a wreck when the real booboos start!
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  • hoosiermama-2hoosiermama-2 member
    Also, f all the rain we've had lately. We've had so much that the ground water pushed our pool liner out for a good third of the pool. Was excited this morning to wake up to the pool being opened only for them to uncover the disaster haha 
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  • Ladybug2821Ladybug2821 member
    hoosiermama-2 said:
    Great call, @m6agua!


    No matter how often I clip and file LOs nails she tears herself up lately! Her poor little face has little knicks everywhere :tired_face: I'm going to be a wreck when the real booboos start!
    Same here and she scratches the crap out of me also  :(.
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  • anne11716anne11716 member
    I'm so over this stupid helmet. It doesn't bother him much but I just HATE it!!! Oof. 
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
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  • SandNStarsNJSandNStarsNJ member
    ODD was sent home with diarrhea. What the hell?!? Why can't this house catch a break?
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Oh no @SandNStarsNJ you guys do need a break 
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  • camcbethcamcbeth member
    Fml, fml, ODD had a stomachache when I picked her up today. Since then she's thrown up twice and has a fever. Family is coming in on Friday and we go on a cruise on Saturday. I'm PRAYING so hard it's a 24 hour bug and not norovirus that lasts for 3-4 days. What if the 6 month old gets it? Has anyone experienced a baby with norovirus? That's an automatic to the hospital right? Sh$t, sh$t, sh$t.
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  • SandNStarsNJSandNStarsNJ member
    camcbeth said:
    Fml, fml, ODD had a stomachache when I picked her up today. Since then she's thrown up twice and has a fever. Family is coming in on Friday and we go on a cruise on Saturday. I'm PRAYING so hard it's a 24 hour bug and not norovirus that lasts for 3-4 days. What if the 6 month old gets it? Has anyone experienced a baby with norovirus? That's an automatic to the hospital right? Sh$t, sh$t, sh$t.
    ODD had norovirus at 6 mo. Keep track of LO's dirty diapers, comfort as much as possible and do very brief momentary nursing session after the initial 8 hours or so. LO might vomit but it will be very little if you keep sessions very short and as they keep it down, you know you can nurse longer. 

    It sucks but but you can survive. And this might be a terrible consolation prize but your ODD going trough it will tell you what to expect (i.e. How many hours vomiting lasts, etc).

    FX it's just a quick bug!
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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  • RhodaMorgensternRhodaMorgenstern member
    FML, I got food poisoning. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous, tried to drink coffee, couldn't do it. I got to work and made it 2 emails in before I rushed to the bathroom to puke. I came home, pumped and have been asleep since 9 am. Now I think I might be hungry, don't have any appealing food in the house and don't have the energy to move. I'm both looking forward to and dreading my H and A getting home.
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  • m6aguam6agua member
    RhodaMorgenstern said:
    FML, I got food poisoning. I woke up this morning feeling nauseous, tried to drink coffee, couldn't do it. I got to work and made it 2 emails in before I rushed to the bathroom to puke. I came home, pumped and have been asleep since 9 am. Now I think I might be hungry, don't have any appealing food in the house and don't have the energy to move. I'm both looking forward to and dreading my H and A getting home.
    Sorry, it is the worst! Try gatorade and bland things like bread/crackers/white rice, but just nibbles. It's usually gone in about 24 hours.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

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  • Ladybug2821Ladybug2821 member
    @RhodaMorgenstern Ughhh sorry to hear that. For me, food poisoning was worse than labor. I hope you feel better soon. 
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