IF/Testing Weekly Check-in 4/24

kiwi2628 · April 2017

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (If you've been):

Cycle/CD:

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)

How are things going?

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring?

kiwi2628 · April 2017

Good morning! I hope everyone is ready for their Monday.

Diagnosis (If you've been): Tentative unexplained IF

Cycle/CD: 9/22

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Natural cycle-waiting to finish testing, hopefully next week

How are things going? It comes and goes in waves. Seeing the stats makes me very sad and knowing a bunch of my friends are starting in the next few months and will likely be KU before I am- I know that will kill me.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring?

I would bring the sixth HP book. I could read that over and over and over (and have read it over and over and over). I would bring Hozier's CD because the whole thing is AMAZING. And I would bring avocados because they are the greatest.

LoveInDC · April 2017

@kiwi2628 I considered a HP book, but not having the whole series would bum me out hard. Hugs for people in your life TTC. I wouldn't get prematurely upset though. Maybe you'll connect with them better. And who knows, maybe they won't be SS and you'll find an IRL IF buddy and support system. You never know

Diagnosis (If you've been): Anovulatory/NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 4 (month 6)/12

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): "WTO" (with sarcastic quotation marks)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Last non-medicated cycle.

How are things going? Is it bad that I'm already jaded about this cycle? I'm temping here and there on the off chance I O, but fertile CM showed up in spades and I couldn't care less about it. I'm just ready for those fake out spikes and nothing happening. *shrug* We'll see I suppose.

Any questions?

GTKY: Brave New World (one of my favorites and fitting for an island), Britney Spears' second album (hits a range of emotions), and fettuccine alfredo (great on its own or with whatever I may find on the island)

mrsdaddario · April 2017

@kiwi2628 The odds are awful to face. Our RE gave us a whooping 8% chance let cycle with IUI and Letrozole/Femara and a 16% chance with injectables and IUI. And our only issue was NIR PCOS. It's so depressing. We still did six IUI's and I don't even know why I expected to get KU with them. Hang in there lady.

@LoveInDC Hopeully this cycle ends quickly for you and you can start medicated cycles!

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 20/18 CD 23

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW 7dpo

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) This was our second to last natural cycle.

How are things going? Meh, you know when you're half way through your TWW and can just tell you're waiting on AF? That's where I am. Also, "our" insurance card came in the mail over the weekend. Mind you we've been waiting since January for new insurance to kick in. Only the card was for H and not me. I went online and looked at his plan, which I'm supposed to be on, and I'm not. So I have an email out to his HR person and am trying not to freak out in the meantime. I really need my card ASAP so I can get preapprovals for IVF. That way I can order the meds and have them on hand when we start in June.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring?
I would bring...oh please don't make me pick one book!! That's so much harder than music and food lol. Food I would bring pizza or cheese fries. Super healthy. Music I would bring the Lemonade Album or Adele's 21. But books, either HP maybe the winston Brothers series.

LoveInDC · April 2017

@mrsdaddario Thanks! Luckily I have Provera, so this cycle won't be longer than necessary, I just wish cycle didn't feel like a waste. Ugh, sorry insurance is giving you the runaround. Hopefully they get it sorted out soon so you can be on your way to IVF ASAP!

Anna_1021 · April 2017

@kiwi2628 Hugs you IRL friends starting baby project. Well, you never know, what life brings along - I really hope that this plays out in your favour somehow. Like getting KU right away or sg

But we are here for you.

@LoveInDC I'm so sorry you lost hope in the non-medicated cycles. Hope this one goes by fast and you can start a brand new page with the medicated ones! FX

@mrsdaddario Ugh, that insurance mistake sucks

Do you know what (...where) went wrong? Hope you can get it resolved fast. Keep us updated...

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained

Cycle/CD: ~ 22/CD1

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Honestly..? &@!!!@&&!#&@ :P But yeat, WTO.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) IUI, I assume. I'll call the doc tomorrow to form a plan

How are things going? Well.. I've been cramping, spotting on-off for days now. Today my temp dropped, and cramps got sharper. IUI did not work. I already did the ugly cry in the bathroom of our office. I have no words right now. I know I have to look ahead, I know I just need to get through this, I know it was only the first IUI, I know all that. Still, I had such high hopes, because I am obviously stupid and learnt nothing from all the lurking here, and I am such a SS...until I'm not.
Hugs for everyone who already went through this.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring?
Well, I have this writer I love, she writes these crime stories full of life and romance and great characters. I'd bring some (sorry) of her books. Oh year, and she's Hungarian, so the name would not matter here

Music at the moment Ed Sheeran. Food: I assume "all of them" is not a correct answer

Not sure I could pich one. Maybe some yummie chocholate chip cookie, since there will be planty meat, fruit and veggies on the island

laurad75 · April 2017

Good morning!

I hate the numbers and sometimes I feel like we are just going through all of this so we can say we tried but its never going to work.

Diagnosis (If you've been): DOR

Cycle/CD: CD 20; 3 DPO (give or take)

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW - I havent' had a legit TWW in months. I forgot how much it sucks.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Natural cycle (one cycle break from IVF)

How are things going? Fine actually. I have a lot to distract me and we were HIO like rockstars during fertile week. Do I think I will be the SS who gets KU on a treatment break? No, but I was going to give it a try anyway.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? I guess I would bring a 'How to survive on a desert island' book; Whatever Beatles album has the most tracks and for some reason I think I would bring lasagna - maybe bc its filling.

GG620 · April 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): Unexplained

Cycle/CD: 17 / 22

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) another month of trying then planning IUI/clomid for June

How are things going? pretty much sums up my current outlook

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/jy/kmxnyrz15spv.gif

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? I would also bring the 6th HP book! I would bring Ed Sheeran's new CD (in love right now) and food hmmmm ice cream (ignoring my logical half that says bring some chicken it's a deserted island you fool) haha

@kiwi2628 realized we are cycle buddies

(for this cycle anyway haha)

@loveinDC I hear you on being Jaded this cycle. *hugs* to you today. Hopefully even if you are out this cycle (which FX'd you aren't) that you feel positive moving forward with your first medicated cycle

@mrsdaddario seems like a bunch of us are at the same point in our cycle. *hugs*

it is the worst to feel that way, but I hope that your card arrives ASAP so that you can get all of your preapprovals! Keep us posted

@anna_1021 So sorry for cycle day 1 *all the hugs* don't feel stupid at all. It is completely normal and understandable to feel hopeful about the IUI cycle. Do something kind for yourself today. Glad we also agree on the Ed Sheeran

@laurad75 hooray for the HIOing! It is great to have a good outlook!

mrsdaddario · April 2017

@Anna_1021 I really have no idea what went wrong. Maybe a processing mistake? I triple checked the forms I filled out for his insurance, and I definitely put myself on as a dependent. And it's state insurance so I know as his spouse I can jump on his insurance. I suppose nothing comes easy with IF lol

Anna_1021 · April 2017

@GG620 OMG that gif!!

That sums up my current state as well

Well, I am happy to announce, that I already went down to the grocery store close to the office, and bought about half litre of chocolate milk. Thought about buying chocolate bar as well, but since I am superstrong, I resisted that urge

(i really need to lose that 4 kgs I gained over the winter...wasn't skinny before that either :P) But yay for chocolate milk!

@mrsdaddario Ugh, that is frustrating. Just once we could get a little break, you'd think.. :S Hope the HR personnel can help you. Maybe it is a stupid question (don't know how the system works over there) but is there a point of contacting the insurance agency by yourself..? GL, and rooting for you that they can sort it out asap.

LoveInDC · April 2017

@Anna_1021 Hugs for CD1 and ugly cries Take care of yourself today and don’t beat yourself up too much for having hope. We all go through SS and jaded stages. FX IUI is your answer and you graduate soon.

@laurad75 GL in your TWW! Lasagna sounds like a fabulous desert island meal in my opinion.

@GG620 Ugh, hugs back at you. Looks like we’ll be Clomid buddies in June!

saralee797-2 · April 2017

Busy work day so I will be back later to comment....

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexp

Cycle/CD: whose counting? not me.

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): BCP for IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I am on BCP right now and just waiting to get started. Today, I have a mock transfer scheduled and I am excited to get that out of the way. All of my IUIs were easy so I don't anticipate there being any problem. I have been checking all the things off my list lately. We had our nursing consult last week and got a lot of information. I will be doing an antagonist protocol and we are scheduled to start stimming on 5/5! I ordered all the meds but am waiting on confirmation on when they will be delivered. I am at a high risk of being overstimulated because of my AMH numbers so we are planning on doing a fresh transfer with no testing; however, I will only go through with it if I am feeling okay. If I am overstimulated, it will be an FET in June most likely. I was told that I can gain quite a bit of weight if I am overstimmed so I am trying to really focus on eating right and losing a couple lbs that I put on in the last year and a half so I can at least feel like I am starting off at a good place. I am also planning on starting drinking electrolyte drinks and adding more protein to my diet next week.

How are things going? I am feeling really good actually. Seeing all the meds and learning how to use them was a little overwhelming. I am just trying to take that in stride. The PIO shots look huge and are really intimidating but luckily H will be responsible for those.

Any questions? I know of at least two occasions where I will need to bring my meds with me so I ordered a case online to keep the drugs cold. Anyone know if there is anything special I need to know about traveling with the meds?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? I am not the type to reread books so that is a tough one. I recently read a Man Called Ove and would highly recommend it. Does wine count? I'd bring that.

beachbunnyxo123 · April 2017

@kiwi2628 so sorry friend that is tough and upsetting. I feel like when things like that happen especially with a group all at one time that it almost starts to feel like a race like who can win first. I hope they don't get like that!

@loveindc fertile cm is a good sign! Any reason particularly why you feel you might be out. Hoping you won't have to take the provera route again

@mrsdaddario that's frustrated that there is issues with the insurance! I would be fuming about that like get your shit together HR! Hoping it all gets cleared up quick so you're preapprovals can get started!

@Anna_1021 so very sorry girl, especially feeling hit like that at work. All the hugs

@laurad75 I'm glad you tried anyway and I'm really hoping that you are a SS. But it's good that you have your plan in place regardless but fx you won't need it

@gg620 that GIF is everything. Sorry for your frustration

@saralee797-2 glad to hear that you have a solid plan and that things are moving along!!!!!

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained

Cycle/CD: 16/ cd16

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)
femara + TI, opks

How are things going?
things are going okay, per US and opks looks like O was yesterday. I go back for BW to check my progesterone levels on Friday and as long as they are above 15 they will hold this dose of femara. I've been feeling just some crampiness in my abdomen, not sure if it's from the femara or that I am having a good solid ovulation which is what I'm hoping is the case

Any questions? Not now but I'm sure something will come up as it always does!

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring?
book I would bring is the Bible, music hm that's a tough one I love so many different types, and macaroni and cheese FTW

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@LoveInDC don't you just love those fakeout spikes *grumble grumble*
@Anna_1021 Sorry about feeling like you're out. Unsuccessful IUIs really fing suck...
@GG620 That gif tho... that is IF life.
@saralee797-2 GL for your mock transfer! You're at such an exciting time! Hope all goes well for you.

AFM

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 14/17 (although this is about to get murky. I have to go off bc and then back on to regulate my cycle to fit the IVF schedule)

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): on BCP

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) BCP. I'm about to stop taking it for like 5 days and then I'll go back on for 3 weeks so that my period syncs up to the IVF schedule at my clinic.

How are things going? Fine - but I hate the BCP. So many symptoms. It's giving me really intense, nonstop dreams that I constantly wake up from all night so I never feel rested. I'm sooooo tiredddd.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? Book - Does all the HP series count? Can I just bring my Kindle? Music - probably some classical strings/piano. Food - potatoes since they can be made so many different ways.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

Also, it's Infertility Awareness week, So images in spoiler for that if you would like them. A lot of people use this week to "come out" as IF on social media, or just post images in quiet support.

1 in 8 couples in the US struggle with infertility listenup niaw infertilityawareness

Image: https://lfaf.****/attachment/download/84

Created by Ariane Laxo CID LEED AP IDC EDAC IID

Created by Ariane Laxo CID LEED AP IDC EDAC IIDA

The world is full of people like us 1in8 NIAW infertility

this for the 1in8 hearts that ache NIAW Infertility

AMEN If I had a nickel for every time someone told me this I could pay all of my infertility doctor bills HA Infertility is a disease just like diabetes or cancer infertility pcos knowthefacts

laurad75 · April 2017

@antoto Thanks for posting these. I have never mentioned our struggles on social media before but I think I want to post something this week - I just need to find the right message.

saralee797-2 · April 2017

@kiwi2628 the stats can be totally depressing. I remember when I first heard them I was floored. GL with getting all your testing done!
@antoto whomp sorry you are having side effects from the bcp. I feel like I am just getting used to living life with side effects which is a shame. I was hoping we would be on the same medication/IVF schedule! I am glad to hear that you are getting on the calendar though!!
@LoveInDC I know that jaded feeling. Hopefully it isn't a fake out though so your wait for a medicated cycle is short.
@mrsdaddario Ugh I am sure it is just an administrative glitch and they can work it out soon. You are getting SO close! I am excited for you.
@Anna_1021 Sorry about CD1. I had really high expectations for IUI1 and the let down was rough. Sending you lots of hugs today.
@GG620 that gif sums up my feelings about work today. Love it.
@beachbunnyxo123 Yay for O!!
@laurad75 I do hope you turn out to be a SS and lasagna is a great choice. I am now starving for meat lasagna!

LoveInDC · April 2017

@saralee797-2 So much going on! FX it all pays off this round of IVF

@beachbunnyxo123 It’s part of my anovulatory/NIR PCOS. Take a look at my last chart. It get tons of fertile cervical mucus, temp spikes, but I never actually O. My body just can’t get there. I just keep almost O-ing over and over again. So if this is the real deal, yay, but I know it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not celebrating until I get CH (doubtful). FX this really was O for you! I’ll be on the lookout for your Friday update

@antoto Fakeout spikes are so rude! Do you think your BCP symptoms are from this specific pill? Or just adjusting after being off them for a while? Either way, I can’t wait until you’re off them and on to the TWW! Thanks for sharing those images. I'm not overly active on social media, but I'll be on the lookout for those I can support.

GG620 · April 2017

I am so glad you ladies feel me on that GIF! haha

@antoto I didn't know it was awareness week. Really like some of those postings. I have debated being more open, but not sure I am strong enough. Mind me asking, have you been more public about it? What have your reactions been like? Also, sorry you are so tired! I am the worst when tired ha

@anna_1021 YAASS chocolate. Good work on only nabbing the chocolate milk. I might need to follow in your footsteps at lunch

@loveinDC hooray Clomid buddy!!

@beachbunnyxo123 hopefully it is that good solid Ovulation

don't you love the IF journey where you are all "Bring on the pain! or any sign of nausea!" ha

kiwi2628 · April 2017

I wish I could post something. My H doesnt want me to though because he doesnt want his family or friends knowing and I have to respect his privacy. Just sucks for me since I am such an open book on my own- I hate secrecy or not being honest.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@GG620 I have been really open about it with my friends, family, and a few coworkers. While I have gotten a few thoughtless remarks (usually suggesting advice like "have you tried acupuncture??? I have a friend who... blah blah blah" ) but nothing outright cruel. 99% of the reaction has been extremely supportive and it's nice to be able to be honest about how I'm feeling day to day and what I need from people. Especially with IVF coming up I needed my boss/coworkers aware so I can get coverage and they don't think I'm being a slacker.

I haven't shared my specific story on FB, but last night I shared one of the images I posted above and used the hashtags #iam1in8, #IVF, and #PCOS so that people got the gist without me going into gory detail.

I have chosen not to share with anyone other than my mother and sisters the exact date of egg retrieval, embryo transfer, how many embryos mature, how many embryos we are transferring, the fact that we are doing genetic testing on the embryos, or what we might do with unused embryos because people don't need to know any of that and I don't want people figuring out when I'll find out if it was successful or not.

It's a very, very personal decision if you want to tell people or not. I didn't tell people until I found out that we would be moving on to IVF. That's just what works for me, personally.

mrsdaddario · April 2017

@antoto Thank you for sharing those images. They are beautiful and I'm saving one in hopes of being strong enough to share it.

sunniegrly · April 2017

@kiwi2628 - I really know that feeling about worrying about your friends getting KU. I gave up Facebook for Lent and have been staying off of it now that Lent is over. I think that helps somewhat because I'm not constantly being bombarded with images of other people's lives (and am missing the "we're KU" announcements if there are any).

@LoveinDC - I understand about the feeling jaded. Frankly, I just feel jaded about the whole process right now. I started Brave New World a while back but haven't finished it. I need to do that - I was really liking it. (ADD - I got distracted....sigh..)

@Anna_1021 - I'm sorry for the CD1. I've done some ugly crying in my office bathroom (both over my "what is going on with my body" worries and over other crap). To me, there's something so lonely about crying in an office bathroom. Sending you lots of internet hugs and solidarity.

@GG620 - YES. That gif is spot on.

Diagnosis (If you've been): post-pill amenorrhea (until proven otherwise)

Cycle/CD: 1/80

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Waiting for AF. Finished a 10 day course of Provera on Friday to bring on a bleed so we can test my hormones.

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Testing to see what hormones my body is producing, trying to figure out why I'm not ovulating - whether it's just years of being on the pill or whether there's an underlying condition.

How are things going? I'm scared. Because of our religious beliefs (Catholic), if it turns out I have IF issues we won't be able to do IUI or IVF (no judgment whatsoever for people doing those treatments). I'm afraid there's something wrong with me and that I'll have no hope whatsoever of having biological children.

Any questions? Not really.

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? I'd bring The Martian by Andy Weir. It's a cross between Apollo 13 and Castaway. I'd need inspiration for being innovative about survival and an example of how to keep a sense of humor when you're marooned alone for a long time. @laurad75 - I totally considered bringing a "how to survive on a deserted island" book, too! I second @antoto on the potatoes. But maybe that's just because the guy in The Martian farms potatoes on Mars. No idea about the music. I usually listen to audiobooks all the time rather than music. Would that be cheating if I brought audiobooks? Probably. I'd bring a ukulele and spend a year teaching myself how to play the ukulele = music + something to keep me occupied when I wasn't trying to catch fish with a sharpened stick.

shortstack930 · April 2017

@kiwi2628 the sixth HP book is my favorite too! I know how hard it is to feel like everyone will move on and get KU before you, but I am rooting hard for you that you will be KU soon! Hope all the testing goes well.

@LoveInDC Brave New World is an excellent choice! I hope this cycle goes quickly for you so you can start on your medicated cycle soon.

@mrsdaddario I really hate insurance companies. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with all of the waiting only to be frustrated again. I hope that they can sort this out quick so you will be ready to start IVF prep.

@Anna_1021 I am so sorry the IUI didn't work! Be good to yourself this week. Fx that the next IUI will work for you. So many hugs for you.

@laurad75 fx that you are a SS!!

@GG620 I feel you on that current outlook. I hope the last few natural cycles work for you but if not I'm excited for you to start IUI in June!

@saralee797-2 so exciting that you're starting the IVF process! I hope everything goes smoothly for you.

@beachbunnyxo123 fx that you O'd yesterday!

@antoto I'm sorry the BCP is messing with you so much. Lack of sleep is the WORST. I wish I was brave enough to come out to everyone about IF but since we're still undiagnosed and DH wants to keep it private I'm only sharing with close friends and family. Kudos to you for being able to share your story!

AFM:

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained secondary IF

Cycle/CD: 17/not tracking this cycle

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) anxiously waiting for May 15 (first RE appointment) and NTNP

How are things going? had a slight breakdown last week when I got AF and therefore started cycle 17. DH and I had a really good talk and decided to NTNP this month and stop tracking everything since it is obvious we are not going to get KU without help and we see the RE in less than a month anyway. It has been so much less stressful not taking my temp each morning and not caring what CD I'm on. AF is done, we had some great non-TTC sex last night for the first time in awhile, and I'm feeling more uplifted this week.

Any questions? nope

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? if I can't bring the whole HP series then I have to agree with others and bring book six. For music I would bring The All-American Rejects "Move Along" album. And I would bring all the pancakes.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@sunniegrly I want to ask something but first I just want to say that I am coming with this question with zero judgement, just curiosity. Why would it be okay to do clomid or some other drug to induce ovulation, but it wouldn't be okay to do IUI?

sunniegrly · April 2017

@antoto - That's actually a great question, and I'm glad you asked it because it just made me do some research that made me slightly hopeful! The church teaches that procreation should be connected with the act of intercourse between the couple. IUI where the man masturbates to produce the semen isn't permitted because it takes procreation away from the sex act between the couple. Currently it's not prohibited (but is under discussion as to whether it's permissible) to do IUI with sperm collected from a condom used during sex. So, hey, thanks to your curiosity I just realized I have that option!! The drugs that make you ovulate are okay because conception still happens from the sex act rather than from an artificial process.

Edited to fix typos

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@sunniegrly ahhhhh I see! Thanks for helping me understand!

magnolia131 · April 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): PCOS, MFI (mildly low count and low morph)

Cycle/CD: 17/18 (3 DPO give or take)

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Femara, trigger, TI, repeat EB, the usual supplements. Having progesterone checked on Thursday.

How are things going? I'm kicking myself for saying last week how I was hoping to have a zen approach to all of this. What a load of nonsense. DH and I talked more about if we were ready to go forward with IVF if my EB comes back clear and emotionally we 100% are but financially it would be prudent to wait a few more months. I know it's uncouth to talk money on here but it's just so frustrating. DH reasoned that after 2+ years of trying, what's an extra few months if it helps us be comfortable? And I know he's right. But then part of my brain still feels like this is all a race to the finish line/is impatient at this point. In the mean time, I don't have a lot of hope that the medicated cycles our insurance does cover will provide any real results but we will keep going through those motions anyways.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? Book: The Nick Adams Stories by Ernest Hemingway or an Early Shakespeare anthology (I feel like that is cheating though). Music: Joni Mitchell's Blue album or Tori Amos' Tales of a Librarian. Food: Someone said lasagna and that sounds soo good right now so yeah, that.

@kiwi2628 The stats can be such a let down. I try not to be too fixated on them but it's hard when they're so dismal. I hope there doesn't have to be a next cycle for you but if there is, I hope it comes quickly so that you can get your testing underway.

@mrsdaddario That's so frustrating to be hitting a wall with insurance. I'm really excited for you to start in June and hope this doesn't cause any delays. I'm really rooting hard for you!

@Anna_1021 Ugh about CD1. I'm sorry you are going through that immense disappointment. I wish so bad that all of the ladies in this thread could be SS's. I hope you are kind to yourself today and when moving into this next cycle.

@laurad75 GL in the TWW, DPO buddy!

@saralee797-2 Ahh, it's all in motion and I'm really excited for you, though I know parts won't be a walk in the park. You sound so on top of things at this moment and it seems like you're handling it all really well.

@antoto I hope the BC side effects subside for you really soon. I never realized how much I hated the pill until I went off of it. Also thanks for posting the IF images...I enjoyed reading them even if I don't think I'm comfortable posting on social media. *TW* my SIL just gave birth to her first last week and I worry that by posting that they might take it as a slight towards them which is silly but entirely possible knowing my family *end TW*

@shortstack930 I'm glad you're relaxing this cycle. I hope it helps pass the time until your appointment!

mrsdaddario · April 2017

Thanks for all love the commiseration about the insurance! His HR got back to me and said she thinks it's a processing error because she knows we signed up for family plan. She's reaching out to their rep today and will keep me posted. PHEW.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

***lurking***
@sunniegrly I only saw this part at the end, but I take it you're Catholic? We are, too, and we struggled with a lot of this - still are wrestling in some ways, but it's gotten better. DH had two SAs - the first collected via perforated condom. When it came back zero, the repeat we did the way the REs have you just to avoid any margin if error/stress. We are still hoping there may be a microsurgical tube reconstruction possible in our future, but not optimistic. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk about that stuff. ❤

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI

Cycle/CD: 16 or 17/ 20 something

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) waiting for repeat SA in May

How are things going? I am so tired of waiting. This has been a long wait just to do a repeat SA. I am so tired of it. You ladies know what it is like when you feel like you aren't working towards getting KTFU.

Any questions? nada

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE What music do you bring? ADELE What food item do you bring? REESES PEANUT BUTTER EGGS

I'll be back for comments later! Busy at work!

sunniegrly · April 2017

@BusinessWife - Yes, we're Catholic. Thank you so, so much! I'm still hoping we won't get to the point where we'll have to make hard decisions, but I'll definitely PM you if I need to talk about it. I really appreciate that.

beachbunnyxo123 · April 2017

@loveindc oh I see what you mean now, thanks for the clarification just wanted to make sure I understood!

@antoto all of those pics = truth. I can't tell you how many times I get the "you're doing too much just relax". Like I know people mean well but they really just don't get it. I completely agree there needs to be more awareness and education, thanks for sharing those!

@magnolia131 I think your concerns are justified and I completely understand the financial frustration. I think it's great that you guys are talking about it so you know what is best for you both but I get the impatience piece as well

@sunniegrly sorry for the long cycle I can't imagine how frustrating that must be. Do you typically have annovulatory cycles? I'm just wondering because I'd hate to see you put the carriage before the horse. If the doc has told you differently than forgive me but if this is your first cycle TTC I'm wondering how that would mean you have IF and need to be on meds? Do you have an IF diagnosis? I'm sure 80 days on one cycle brings a lot of questions and concerns but I'd hate to see you jump to IF and treatments if that wasn't the case and the worries weren't needed

gusgus14 · April 2017

Hey everybody! I thought I'd branch out into this thread.

Diagnosis (If you've been): N/A

Cycle/CD: 11/CD18

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Round 3 of clomid which will be the final round before being referred to the specialist (just going through my gyno right now).

How are things going? Things are okay but getting harder mentally. Wishing more people were open about what a mental struggle TTC can be. Also stressing out thinking about the financial implications if we have to start going to the specialist for further testing/treatment.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? If I could bring one series it would be Harry Potter but just one book? Gosh, that's hard. Probably just one HP book. Maybe the last one. I'd probably bring one of Sara Bareilles' albums (not sure which one, I love them all), and pizza.

sunniegrly · April 2017

@beachbunnyxo123 - Oh I'm definitely putting the cart before the horse. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a total alarmist, worst-case-scenario kind of person (my mom is the same way, so I get it honest). I also have an anxiety disorder, so I'm just hard-wired to worry (I was up for an hour last night worrying about North Korea, which I obviously have ZERO power to do anything about but will worry about anyways). I honestly don't know if I have anovulatory cycles. I've been on some form of hormonal birth control continuously since age 17. I screwed up my BC in like 2009 and didn't get a period and had to go on progesterone to induce a bleed to start the pill back again. So yeah my body hasn't ovulated since 2003. Right now the doc thinks my body has just forgotten how to produce hormones on its own and that I'll prob have to go on Clomid to get it to do that. We're doing Day 21 testing this cycle to try to figure things out and see if there's an underlying problem that may have been masked by the pill all these years. The uncertainty about whether I have an underlying problem is killing me. So I'm just here because I'm in the testing phase. But yeah I'm scared to have to be testing.

Edited: Because I'm never done talking.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

Hey and welcome @gusgus14! I'm sorry that you're feeling stressed right now. I hope you don't mind if I ask a few questions? I noticed that you don't have a diagnosis - did your OB run any blood tests or ultrasounds or HSG prior to giving you the Clomid? Sometimes women get blockages in their fallopian tubes and then being on Clomid doesn't make a bit of difference because the sperm can't get to the egg. Has your OB been monitoring with ultrasounds? If so, how have you been responding?

vflux33 · April 2017

@kiwi2628 Ugh sorry about the issue with your friends. I'm expecting the same with my sister who doesn't even seem to really want a 3rd and can't shut up about her AF being 2 hours late, so I feel you there.
@LoveInDC It can be hard to wait out the cycles before you start a new plan--I'm in a version of that right now too and not feeling it. Hope it goes by fast for you.
@mrsdaddario Email and phone tag with insurance companies and employers--what is this not how you preferred to start out another wonderful week? (JK) Hope HR gets back to you soon with an easy fix.
@Anna_1021 I am really sorry to hear you're thinking the IUI didn't work this time. When we thought we were going to start IUI this cycle my RE explained the utility of trying the same thing several times before moving on in case one little unexpected and undetectable factor is different, and you probably got a similar speech. So if it did fail this time, that doesn't make your chances on the second go worse (although I wish the stats for IUI were greater overall...). I know that doesn't make what you're going through any easier. I feel we're always telling each other "next time" on this page and I get how empty that can sound. But I do really hope next time is your time

@GG620 Yeah I'm also living in your gif!
@saralee797-2 Mock transfer? Am I the only one who's never heard of that? It's nice to hear you're feeling good about things going forward right now. Hoping you don't get overstimmed and that everything goes as planned!
@antoto BCPs SUCK. I know it sounds dumb but if we end up at IVF this is part of what scares me the most. The 2 brief times I was on the pill in my life I had an awful reaction to the pill and it completely changed my personality. It felt like I was a completely different person. Of course, if it works, it's all worth it. FX for you going forward! Also thanks for posting the IF awareness week pics and thread. I had no idea this was even a thing and although I'm off Facebook ATM I will try to think of a way to work this into my week somehow since it's something people really do need to be made more aware of.
@shortstack930 Ugh, sorry to hear about cycle 17. I agree about not charting lowering the stress. Glad to hear you're feeling better this week! I had non-TTC sex yesterday too--almost forgot what that was like! A nice distraction.
@gusgus14 Welcome! I hope this cycle works for you, but if it doesn't be careful with the Clomid --most ladies here suggest not taking it with an OB and to go directly to a specialist with it because of the lifetime limit and increased cancer risk (I know that info's coming a bit late for you but still good to know in case your OB offers another round before getting you to a RE). In any case I hope your stay here is short.

I woke up late and feel like I just wrote a novel trying to catch up with you guys like a lame west coast loser!

Diagnosis (If you've been): ovulation disorder

Cycle/CD: 12 cycles 13 months/ CD 14

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO/Benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Benched pending genetic testing.

How are things going? OK. I think I’m getting used to the idea of being benched, mostly. We should get MH’s results for the mutation I have next week. But then, assuming he’s (hopefully) not a carrier, we’ll have to decide whether to wait more for the 23andme results, which could take up to another 2 months. Still not sure which way we’ll go with that. Anyway, I’m still pretty sick so happy I can take unlimited Afrin and Benadryl, without consequence. I’ll take what I can get.

Any questions? Would be getting ahead of myself at this point since we’re basing our next treatment on the genetic test results, so nothing here.

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? I would try to cheat this limited system somehow by bringing a huge anthology like 4,000 page book (I have a big Grimm's fairy tales that comes to mind with like a million little stories in it) an endless supply of sourdough bread, and maybe Nirvana so I could sit there and have some music to match my angst.

RatParade · April 2017

I'm with all you ladies on the major bummer of low statistics. But still, part of me is still like

@anna_1021 I'm sorry the IUI didn't work. I feel the same way every cycle - overly optimistic and then very disappointed. Any new thing I try during a cycle makes me feel like this is the one, and I know IUI will 100% make me feel that way.

@antoto Thanks for the infertility week info! I haven't told anyone about our situation, but I know it's time (for me) to tell my mom and sister. The longer I wait the harder it gets. Maybe this is the week!

Diagnosis (If you've been): Severe MFI (low motility)

Cycle/CD: 17/CD11

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Basically just gathering, digesting, and trying to accept information. A second SA has been ordered but we probably won't do it for another month or two.

How are things going? I'm just a bag of emotions. We had our first RE appointment last week after doing a bunch of testing. Things seem fine with me, but my DH has severely low motility which means IVF/ICSI will most likely be our only option, which is a tough pill to swallow. Logically I know having information is good, but emotionally I just haven't gotten there yet. We're going to try IUI first (because why not) but probably not for a couple months because I just move slowly like that. My DH has an appointment in a couple weeks with his primary Dr to try to get a referral to a urologist to see if there's anything we can do.

Meanwhile we're just going at it the old fashioned way. After the RE appointment my DH has gotten very optimistic that we'll conceive naturally and has obviously started looking stuff up. He wasn't very involved until now so this new attitude is welcome but feels like too little too late, ya know?

Oh - and something interesting I learned from the RE - the same amount of sperm is produced in an ejaculation regardless of frequency. The volume of semen will go down, but the sperm count remains the same. So in our case (low motility) there's no medical reason to skip a day or anything. Also he said sperm quality is best in the morning.

Any questions?

GTKY: You are going to be left on a deserted island for one year. What book do you bring? What music do you bring? What food item do you bring? If this was real real life, I'd bring the Bible. But because this is theoretical I'd bring Lord of the Rings (it's really all one book, so I'd get to bring the whole thing). I'd bring something classical, maybe Tchaikovsky's 4th Symphony. I think anything with words would drive me nuts eventually. And I'm copying @kiwi2628 - avocados are the best.

gusgus14 · April 2017

@antoto - Hi and thanks for the welcome! I do not currently have a diagnosis. My doctor has done blood tests to check my progesterone levels but no HSG. Since I went to her several months before the 1 year mark, she wanted to start slow with testing. No ultrasounds with the clomid to date, just the CD21 blood tests (several ladies here have urged me to get monitored with ultrasound but I have felt comfortable going with my doctor's plan so far). I don't know for sure but my assumption is that if we go to the specialist, the first thing we'll have done is the HSG to check my tubes.

gusgus14 · April 2017

@vflux33 - thank you! My doctor already said that we would only do 3 rounds of clomid at which point she'll refer us to a specialist.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@gusgus14 Yeah if I were you I would call the RE immediately and get an appointment. I hope this cycle is it for you, but if not you need to stop seeing the OB. I won't go on too much about it but I think it's medically unprofessional to give someone Clomid with zero supervision. If you had a cyst at any point then you could cause extreme damage to your ovaries. I got a cyst from a similar medication and my RE told me that we wouldn't have been able to do treatment the following month. This is why ultrasounds are so important. Also, if you were having no reaction to the Clomid (no fully mature follicles) then you've just been wasting the past few months and putting a very strong, hormone altering drug in your body.

I don't say this to be mean or bully you or make you feel bad. I say this so you fully understand the potential implications of unmonitored fertility medication and why so many people have told you what you are doing is a bad idea. At this point what happened happened, moving forward please be more careful and see an RE! Better to make an appointment NOW and have to cancel due to BFP than to wait even longer after a BFN.

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