Monday Bitchfest | 4.17.17

jessafishy · April 2017

After a weekend with family I have some good ones. Let's hear them ladies!

jessafishy · April 2017

Saturday morning we went to my dad's house for a visit. DS played outside in the pool and sand and so right before we were going to leave we took him in for a quick bath. While the water was running, dad's wife was talking to him and he asked if he was going back to "other grandma's house". Well she heard "real grandma" due to the running bath water and asked about it and I corrected her. I thought that was the end of it.

Later that night apparently she was bitching to my brother about how DS called my mom "real grandma". Now I'm waiting for the lecturing phone call from my dad about it. I halfway hope he does because I'm ready for a fight at this point. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, she always finds ways to twist things around trying to make me out to be a horrible person and I'm over it.

canonmom413 · April 2017

The only thing I want to bitch about is that I haven't had a second to breathe!! It's been non stop going for over a week. The girls were off for spring break last week, but DD1s birthday was Thursday and I spent the first half of the week prepping. Then Thursday I had 5 girls to take out and make sure were having fun. They did lol. Then Friday DD1 went to a friends for a sleepover and DH and I redid the girls room, almost officially moving DD2 in there. We had to redecorate after taking things off the walls to accommodate furniture and another dresser etc. Then Saturday we finished cleaning the after math of DD1s party from 2 days prior and pick DD1 up from said friends house. Yesterday was Easter. With no family in the immediate area, we do our own thing which always includes an Easter hike. We hiked about 3 miles and my ass is feeling it. I also then upon getting home agreed DD1 could have the friend over who she slept at her house on Friday night , to sleep over our house. So here I am Monday morning and exhausted!! The girls go back to school tomorrow , but then it is long week of late nights because they have a competition this weekend. Which means they have rehearsals until 9pm Tuesday and Wednesday nights. Yawwwwnnnnn. I need a day off!

Edits for mobile typos

canonmom413 · April 2017

Oh geez @jessafishy that's so petty and rediculous. Especially since you explained it!! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My MIL feels the need to comment on everything my mom posts about the girls just to make sure the whole world knows my kids have TWO grandmas. She says things like " we sure do have beautiful grand girls" or "aren't we so lucky?" etc.

jessafishy · April 2017

@canonmom413 I hope things settle down for you soon! I am pretty drained after our weekend of travel so I feel you.

bluejeanbabi05 · April 2017

@jessafishy sounds like she's taking her own insecurities out on you. Also, imho, your mom is more of a "real" grandma than your stepmom, so she needs to calm tf down.

@canonmom413 whew reading that made me tired! I hope you can find some time to yourself this week!

jessafishy · April 2017

@bluejeanbabi05 She definitely always finds something to be upset about. We don't have a good relationship and she has basically destroyed my dad's relationship with me and one of my sisters. The only reason I am even trying at this point is for DS's sake. It's not his fault I have a terrible relationship with them.

However, it's been almost 3 years now and I feel like I'm still the one making all the effort and I'm just so done.

natleilynn · April 2017

We haven't posted/announced anything on social media yet. With DD I was over halfway through before we did. It's not a secret, we're not restricting our family from telling friends/family...we're just not ready to post it online yet.

TWO people commented on a (non-pregnancy related) post of mine yesterday, specifically calling out my pregnancy. One of which I did not even know (I had tagged DH in the post).

Rule of thumb - unless you are 1000% positive it's already out on social media, DON'T MENTION A PREGNANCY.

I told DH I feel like I need to delete my accounts now until we're ready to make it public. Because seriously, the post they both commented on (and I deleted both comments) had NOTHING to do with a baby/pregnancy/etc.

The kicker? The first one was a relative that I specifically made sure to wait until I was past the 12 week mark to even tell because I had a suspicion she would make a comment about it at some point. Sure enough.

dogperson11 · April 2017

natleilynn said:

We haven't posted/announced anything on social media yet. With DD I was over halfway through before we did. It's not a secret, we're not restricting our family from telling friends/family...we're just not ready to post it online yet.

TWO people commented on a (non-pregnancy related) post of mine yesterday, specifically calling out my pregnancy. One of which I did not even know (I had tagged DH in the post).

Rule of thumb - unless you are 1000% positive it's already out on social media, DON'T MENTION A PREGNANCY.

I told DH I feel like I need to delete my accounts now until we're ready to make it public. Because seriously, the post they both commented on (and I deleted both comments) had NOTHING to do with a baby/pregnancy/etc.

The kicker? The first one was a relative that I specifically made sure to wait until I was past the 12 week mark to even tell because I had a suspicion she would make a comment about it at some point. Sure enough.

I don't get it. If it's not a secret and you're "not restricting family from telling" then why do you expect people not to mention it? I don't think you can have it both ways.

bluejeanbabi05 · April 2017

@natleilynn oh my gosh that would piss me off too. Some people can be so narcissistic. They want to others to think they're "in the know."

I have announced on social media already, but people still find things to comment on. I posted a picture the other day at a music festival, DH was holding a beer and I had a ginger ale in my hand. Multiple people commented, "I hope that's juice!"

????????

aprilsarahjune · April 2017

dogperson11 said:

natleilynn said:

We haven't posted/announced anything on social media yet. With DD I was over halfway through before we did. It's not a secret, we're not restricting our family from telling friends/family...we're just not ready to post it online yet.

TWO people commented on a (non-pregnancy related) post of mine yesterday, specifically calling out my pregnancy. One of which I did not even know (I had tagged DH in the post).

Rule of thumb - unless you are 1000% positive it's already out on social media, DON'T MENTION A PREGNANCY.

I told DH I feel like I need to delete my accounts now until we're ready to make it public. Because seriously, the post they both commented on (and I deleted both comments) had NOTHING to do with a baby/pregnancy/etc.

The kicker? The first one was a relative that I specifically made sure to wait until I was past the 12 week mark to even tell because I had a suspicion she would make a comment about it at some point. Sure enough.

I don't get it. If it's not a secret and you're "not restricting family from telling" then why do you expect people not to mention it? I don't think you can have it both ways.

To me, it definitely feels different. It is one thing if my friend bumps into an old classmate and mentions that I am pregnant. It is another thing if my friend went in front of a crowded auditorium and announced it to all of our acquaintances (which is what Facebook is like, IMO).

yasandson · April 2017

@canonmom413 @jessafishy wish i could transfer you some of this energy. Dont know what to do with it anymore...I have been bored out of my mind these past few weeks.
The Bump is litteraly the highlight of most of my days. That and Netflix...

natleilynn · April 2017

@dogperson11 Let me clarify - we specifically told our friends and family that we aren't putting anything on social media yet. I don't think that's unreasonable, especially when we had a relative post after my first miscarriage that she was "sorry I lost the baby" when we hadn't told anyone but family at that point. One of the people who commented is one that I personally had specifically told we weren't putting anything on Facebook yet.

@bluejeanbabi05 I had my social media disabled for the first 4-5 months of being pregnant with DD for this reason. And omg. I went to walmart this weekend and got beer for DH and got looks. Really people?

yasandson · April 2017

@natleilynn i feel you on the announcing. I got rid of all social medias account a few yrs back because couldnt handle the lack of privacy people cause sometimes.
And yes, we were walking H was smoking a cigarette, he gave it to me so that i hold because he was going into a gaz station to buy cigs and i got those looks too even though i wasnt even puffing on it.

jessafishy · April 2017

aprilsarahjune said:

dogperson11 said:

natleilynn said:

*snip*

I don't get it. If it's not a secret and you're "not restricting family from telling" then why do you expect people not to mention it? I don't think you can have it both ways.

To me, it definitely feels different. It is one thing if my friend bumps into an old classmate and mentions that I am pregnant. It is another thing if my friend went in front of a crowded auditorium and announced it to all of our acquaintances (which is what Facebook is like, IMO).

This. Just because people IRL know doesn't mean you want the whole Internet world to know yet.

We told family and some friends and work but I hadn't announced it to the world on Facebook yet, and I would have been pissed if someone else had done so. Probably I would have just deleted or hidden the offending comments and moved on, but it's still annoying.

feeislove · April 2017

I had mentioned a few days ago that I had gotten a new schedule. It wasn't my original choice but it works better than my first choice. DH wants to bitch about it because with the schedule I got we won't be able to use daycare if we needed to. 1) we can't afford daycare even if my schedule made it possible 2) With this schedule we would only need childcare 3 days vs 4 days with the schedule I didn't get. He wants to insist favoritism played a role because he used to work where I work and in the department he was in there was A LOT of favoritism and he did not benefits from it. I've never gotten the impression that my supervisor or manager plays favorites. I know he's just griping but it's annoying. Get over it man!

bluejeanbabi05 · April 2017

Yeah, I think putting something on fb is completely different than telling an acquaintance in person. Although, I do agree that as the net widens, it gets harder to control. I can see the coworker of DH, who isn't fb friends with you probably, making an honest mistake, your relation is a lot shittier.

natleilynn · April 2017

jessafishy said:

aprilsarahjune said:

dogperson11 said:

natleilynn said:

*snip*

I don't get it. If it's not a secret and you're "not restricting family from telling" then why do you expect people not to mention it? I don't think you can have it both ways.

To me, it definitely feels different. It is one thing if my friend bumps into an old classmate and mentions that I am pregnant. It is another thing if my friend went in front of a crowded auditorium and announced it to all of our acquaintances (which is what Facebook is like, IMO).

This. Just because people IRL know doesn't mean you want the whole Internet world to know yet.

We told family and some friends and work but I hadn't announced it to the world on Facebook yet, and I would have been pissed if someone else had done so. Probably I would have just deleted or hidden the offending comments and moved on, but it's still annoying.

I did delete the comments as soon as I saw them. The first one came while I was in church, so there was a delay. The second one was came late last night, after there were already 28 comments on the post (unusual special post, I don't typically get that kind of love haha). I got it deleted pretty quick, but the 28 commenters before that would have been notified. Hopefully they're like me and don't care what other people say after I comment

OliveOyl2014 · April 2017

natleilynn said:

We haven't posted/announced anything on social media yet. With DD I was over halfway through before we did. It's not a secret, we're not restricting our family from telling friends/family...we're just not ready to post it online yet.

TWO people commented on a (non-pregnancy related) post of mine yesterday, specifically calling out my pregnancy. One of which I did not even know (I had tagged DH in the post).

Rule of thumb - unless you are 1000% positive it's already out on social media, DON'T MENTION A PREGNANCY.

I told DH I feel like I need to delete my accounts now until we're ready to make it public. Because seriously, the post they both commented on (and I deleted both comments) had NOTHING to do with a baby/pregnancy/etc.

The kicker? The first one was a relative that I specifically made sure to wait until I was past the 12 week mark to even tell because I had a suspicion she would make a comment about it at some point. Sure enough.

Some people just don't have boundaries. I have a cousin who is the same way. When she found out we were pregnant with our first, she texted me to say congratulations. We texted back and forth for a few minutes. Then she decided to post a congratulations message on my Facebook wall. Like you just said it thru text, there was no reason to put it on Facebook. But to be honest, she is the type who wants the attention for outing something like that. When we were pregnant with our second, she only knew for a few days before we announced online. Her comment was, "finally you guys are announcing it." She acted like she had known since conception. I think it makes her feel more important to know these special things. We are super careful with things we tell her because even if you ask her to not post it, she will.

beezeee · April 2017

My bitchfest is nothing major but I'm feeling whiny so here goes… I have a huge work project due next Monday that is going to take up all of my working hours and probably some home hours, which means I am going to have to seriously limit my bump time this week. To make things worse, DH is on spring break. When he is home all day, I am so much less productive at work - I tend to get in later and want to leave later. He and DD are going to the zoo today, and I am super jealous.

wittyacronym · April 2017

I agree about the social media -just send a private message,discuss in person, or just keep it to yourself.

I think it is the pregnancy hormones talking but I do find it utterly annoying when people say ' I just knew you were pregnant' or have the audacity to ask. I mean really? If I wanted you to know I can open my mouth and say something. ugh. What is the deal about guessing what is happening in my uterus? Privacy much?

And then there are the folks that are so happy my DD is not going to be an only child. I'm an only child so?

Needed to get those off my chest .

curlyq423 · April 2017

@natleilynn Oohhhh....that would make me mad! I hate when people want to share your exciting news. My husband's step mother was giving me the look at lunch yesterday and saying she was getting antsy and we needed to announce to the rest of the family soon. We planned on announcing yesterday but on our time/terms. I know it's nothing like your situation, but other people just want the attention.

My bitchfest is that we had a nonstop weekend and now back at it working. Thank goodness I only work 8 hours today because we need groceries really bad. Tomorrow is my jury duty day. If I call tonight and I don't have to go in, then I work 12 hour shifts the next 3 days. I don't want to. I'm just tired.

natleilynn · April 2017

@wittyacronym yesssssssssss!! My SIL told me she knew I was pregnant because my boobs had gotten bigger and I seemed tired.

But seriously, it doesn't matter what month, she would have just known because I think she just lives her life assuming everyone is pregnant and then she's never wrong. haha

jessafishy · April 2017

@natleilynn Your SIL has super powers.

Image: https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2017/02/05/6362192062379085751951162342_7dd9b459a33a079effa60b6ccb070f50.gif

sjohns908 · April 2017

15 minutes ago, I had nothing to complain about. I got to sleep in with the 3yo while my older two entertained themselves. And just like that, things are now irritating the hell out of me

Hemorrhoids are evil. I thought I would at least get to 3rd tri before they made their appearance, but nope. So now I'm uncomfortable sitting, standing, walking. Ugh

My kids dont have school today and they've already started in with each other. The oldest is a know-it-all bossy-pants and she thinks she can tell the other two what to do and says it all in such a snotty tone. The middle can't stand any of it and is always telling her to stop. So then the oldest gets even more snotty.

Dh started in on me this morning because I told him he couldn't go to something on a Tuesday night, which is gymnastics night for the oldest and just is always chaotic with the two of us handling it together. I'm not doing all of that alone with 3 kids after already being home all day alone. Especially since he got huffy when I had to go to the grocery store last week at bedtime because we forgot DS had to take snacks to school the next day. So he did the whole "fine I'll talk to you later" and hung up thing.

beezeee · April 2017

Oooh I thought of another one on the topic of people being nosey about pregnancy… I'm not super close with my step-sister, but close enough that we talk from time to time and I told her about my pregnancy myself, before we announced on social media. My mom saw her over the weekend and she was asking my mom all about my pregnancy. Mostly innocent stuff, like how I'm feeling, etc., and then she says, "well, if she's (me) really as far along as she says she is, then she would have been pregnant at Christmas." For some reason this really irked me. First of all, why does that matter? Second, your math is wrong, I would have conceived mid-January. Third, even if you don't understand the calculation (which she should, because she has a kid), if you count 40 weeks back from my due date, you get 12/26 (my LMP) - still not pregnant on Christmas, and even if I was, I clearly would not have known about it. Fourth, WTF do you mean "if she's really as far along as she says she is"… Like I'm making it up? Ugh. End rant.

erink7211 · April 2017

@sjohns08 ugh men can be such babies.

I really can't complain too much other than I'm tired from traveling by myself with DS this weekend and now my MIL is here for the week to househunt. I already had to listen to my mom refer to this baby as "she" all weekend (we still don't know) and my MIL insists that she knows ALL there is to know about everything. She lands in a couple of hours so my bitchlist will probably significantly increase by the end of the day (much less this week).

PizzaMonster3 · April 2017

+ gazillion to announcing frustrations.

DH aunt came into town for Easter. I was initially excited because a few of his aunts committed to coming. I thought this would a nice opportunity to announce in person. Well only one made the trip so I thought it would be unfair for her to find out before the others, especially since she isn't particularly close with DH.

Cue FIL blurting out baby hints every 5 minutes. Finally, in a moment of his unimaginable desperation, I'm sure, he announced for us. Like an asshole. I kept telling him to "keep it down over there" after every unwarranted comment yet he continued until finally telling her outright.

THEN TO TOP IT OFF we get guilt tripped that WE told her before telling the other aunts. They all gang up and threaten to call relatives back home if we keep taking too long. Like it's our fault we told one instead of the other.

Finally after one particular skit where he begins to dial her number, I tell FIL - no you're not this isn't your first born that you're announcing. He deadpans and doesn't bring it up again.

I am astounded that grown ass people can be so damn childish.

jessafishy · April 2017

@beezeemarie What? That would piss me right off too. It definitely seems like an insinuation that you are lying...

mrs_fogue · April 2017

This bitchfest is brought to you by the letter E, for Exhausted! What a great idea I had to have a family camping trip and Easter all on the same weekend. I have 4 other siblings that were camping, their husbands and their 5 kids plus our parents. We had a grand total of 30 people come out on Sunday for lunch and egg hunts right before we had to pack everything up and head home. It was great, but so tiring for this preggo lady to try and keep up with.

Now I get a cram-packed week at work because my one employee is off so I'm doing double duty. I'm just sad that this all means less bump time for me this week.

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/Lgz5HgBdhGlGw/giphy.gif

migdala · April 2017

My complaint is about my MIL, which is no surprise. We're naming the baby Sloan Rosalie, and Rosalie is after my MIL's grandmother. Well apparently she's disappointed that we're not using a first name that starts with a G because she wanted the baby to be named after her mother, Gloria. We chose the middle name specifically to mollify her and she has the audacity to complain that we're not choosing first AND middle names that are tributes to her side of the family??? I can't imagine being so self-centered that I'd even suggest a baby name to my kids, let alone complain after they've already made it clear that they've picked one out. Ugh.

beezeee · April 2017

@jessafishy idk, she's weird. We've always had a weird relationship. It seems almost competitive, but just in her mind/based on her actions.

@migdala that would really piss me off too. I think you're doing a lot by picking a middle name from her side of the family, and she should feel honored that you're doing so.

*edited to fix spelling.

erink7211 · April 2017

@migdala that is incredibly self-centered of her! I'd be tempted to change the middle name just to spite her but that may just be the raging hormones talking.

OliveOyl2014 · April 2017

@sjohns08 this is going to sound totally weird but when I got hemorrhoids with my first my mom mixed up an old wives tale concoction that actually worked. You take a very small jar and put a couple of garlic cloves in it. Then you pour in olive oil. Let that sit for a couple days. Then dip some cotton balls or a small cotton round in the mixture and apply it to the area. It's actually very soothing. It does get messy so I always wore old undies and a pad when doing it.

I know how miserable it can be and hope they go away soon!

sjohns908 · April 2017

@oliveoyle3 thanks for the tip! I've got some coconut oil that I'm trying right now and hoping after a day of doing that it should help with the inflammation. I hear you on the mess, it's the same way with the coconut oil. Gross, but desperate times call for icky measures lol

migdala · April 2017

@beezeemarie @erink7211 So far she's just brought it up with DH, but Lord help her if she ever says anything to me about it. The kicker is that she's refusing to get the TDAP vaccine because vaccines have mercury and cause autism (????) so she probably won't see the baby for months after she's born anyway. Insane.

beezeee · April 2017

@migdala, wait, so is she concerned that SHE is going to get autism from the vaccine or that she could somehow spread it to your baby by getting the vaccine?

migdala · April 2017

@beezeemarie It makes no sense and I've given up trying to understand. DH has tried to explain that she can't get autism because a) that's not a thing and b) that's DEFINITELY not a thing when you're a 60 year old woman, but she's adamant that vaccines are evil and she doesn't listen. I'm torn between blowing up at her for being a crazy person and letting her continue in her delusion so I won't have to have her around right after the baby is born

bluejeanbabi05 · April 2017

beezeemarie said:

@migdala, wait, so is she concerned that SHE is going to get autism from the vaccine or that she could somehow spread it to your baby by getting the vaccine?

Please tell us this is the reason.

jessafishy · April 2017

bluejeanbabi05 said:

beezeemarie said:

@migdala, wait, so is she concerned that SHE is going to get autism from the vaccine or that she could somehow spread it to your baby by getting the vaccine?

Please tell us this is the reason.

And if it is, my reaction is.... wut?

migdala · April 2017

Yeah, she goes back and forth between mercury poisoning and autism, but she's sure that she's at risk for both if she gets the TDAP. Welcome to Crazytown, population my in-laws.

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