I just found out from my hubs there is a shower planned for me sometime in April but I'm not allowed to know when . Hopefully I don't show up in yoga pants and a Seahawks hoody! He wasn't supposed to tell me about anything.
My mother is throwing me a sprinkle (even though I asked her not to - can't control moms). DH promptly told me when and where so I would be prepared. I have to pretend I don't know though, and pretend to be surprised. I'm sure it's going to be small and just close friends.
@emeraldnc my sisters threw me a sprinkle last week. It was really low key. It was a weekday evening for dinner, instead of taking up a weekend day, it was less than 15 guests (including my mom and sisters), and I don't think they did invitations, just called family and texted a couple of my friends, which helped with the low key vibe.
Hey guys, just wondering who usually pays for the baby shower? My younger 27 yr old sister is organising my shower and I feel so bad about her having to pay for stuff out of her own pocket. I've offered to reimburse her for the expenses, but she refuses to take anything from me. I'm more than grateful for the effort that she's putting in just organising it, that I don't want to add on to the burden, especially when she's got her own wedding to save up for.
Hey guys, just wondering who usually pays for the baby shower? My younger 27 yr old sister is organising my shower and I feel so bad about her having to pay for stuff out of her own pocket. I've offered to reimburse her for the expenses, but she refuses to take anything from me. I'm more than grateful for the effort that she's putting in just organising it, that I don't want to add on to the burden, especially when she's got her own wedding to save up for.
You shouldn't pay for your own shower. She chose to do this, so she chose to pay.
It's been 5 weeks since we gave my MIL an invite list for the shower which is supposed to be happening the first weekend in May. I was a bit concerned the first few weeks when I didn't hear any progress about it, then got much more concerned in the past week or so when both DH and I have been getting multiple people asking us if we're even having a baby shower, and then even more concerned when one friend asked me whether or not it was accurate that the shower is happening on a Friday.
Long story short, despite much "debate" about whether or not we should be involved in planning our own shower, DH has stepped in and taken over. He has now instructed his mother that everyone needs to be invited by tomorrow. Neither one of them can be convinced that phoning people to invite them is an absolutely ridiculous idea, and that an email/evite would be infinitely easier for everyone, but whatever, at this point I guess I'm just grateful that anything at all is happening.
Oh and DH is pissed at me because I've very clearly stated that I want absolutely nothing to do with the planning (unless his mom or sister specifically ask my opinion or assistance with something) and he thinks I'm being ridiculous.
ETA: oh god I just overheard part of a phone call where now they're discussing emailing some of the people individually, and specifically giving those people 3 or 4 other names of people to "pass on" the information to...
Hey guys, just wondering who usually pays for the baby shower? My younger 27 yr old sister is organising my shower and I feel so bad about her having to pay for stuff out of her own pocket. I've offered to reimburse her for the expenses, but she refuses to take anything from me. I'm more than grateful for the effort that she's putting in just organising it, that I don't want to add on to the burden, especially when she's got her own wedding to save up for.
You shouldn't pay for your own shower. She chose to do this, so she chose to pay.
Just get her a nice hostess gift.
Ditto. If someone takes on hosting a shower, they have also taken on the financial responsibility. Showers do not have to be elaborate, expensive affairs. I have hosted several showers (bridal, not baby, but they're essentially the same in the amount of money that goes into it), and have never spent more than maybe $50-$100. Simple decorations, food I made myself plus a veggie and fruit tray, games I came up with on my own, hosted at my home, etc.
@CapricaAndrea I'm sorry that sounds like a sucky situation, but at least your husband is stepping up and giving his mom a little nudge and keeping you out of it, and hopefully helping with invites will be his only needed involvement. Also, the actual shower itself could still be nice even if his mom was just delayed with invites and it sounds like you have a lot of friends interested in attending and showering you with love, so I bet it'll all turn out great.
@mamaelle27 thanks, I needed to hear that. I'm sure the event itself will be fine, it just really bothers me that it's yet another thing causing DH and I to argue. And I've already resigned myself to the fact that he will be involved in much more because it's taken everything in my power to convince him in the first place that he can't just plan the entire thing himself, since that's what he's used to doing.
@CapricaAndrea oh girl I feel your pain. My shower is April 23 and invites have not gone out. Just trying to let go and let God. Speaking of God, my other baby shower from my in-laws is on Easter!
My sister sent out the invitations to mine barely 2 weeks in advance. I appreciate her hosting it but that seems like way too little time. So far, only three items have been purchase off my registry. Of course, I appreciate any gift people give and I don't mind if people give off registry gifts (some of our best wedding gifts were off registry), but it would be kind of nice to get some stuff we specifically need!
My sister sent out the invitations to mine barely 2 weeks in advance. I appreciate her hosting it but that seems like way too little time. So far, only three items have been purchase off my registry. Of course, I appreciate any gift people give and I don't mind if people give off registry gifts (some of our best wedding gifts were off registry), but it would be kind of nice to get some stuff we specifically need!
I thought nothing had been bought from my registry for my first shower but no one actually scanned the registry at check out so it looked like nothing had been bought. This is how I got double of a few things but oh well. I just had to manually mark the items as purchased after the shower.
My family shower is the first weekend in May and my mom keeps saying she is going to send the evites out but hasn't yet. She said it's all ready, she just has to enter the emails in. I'm not worried about it since it's all family and her friends and MIL's friends. And the 2 friends that we invited already know the date!
I thought that 3-4 weeks out for shower invitations was pretty standard? Or maybe that's just my group. ha. Edit to add, lots (as in most) people buy shower gifts very close to, if not day of, the shower.
@mamaelle27 thanks, I needed to hear that. I'm sure the event itself will be fine, it just really bothers me that it's yet another thing causing DH and I to argue. And I've already resigned myself to the fact that he will be involved in much more because it's taken everything in my power to convince him in the first place that he can't just plan the entire thing himself, since that's what he's used to doing.
Just call off the shower then? If your DH is throwing it and it's stressful, then don't have one. It's tacky.
@mamaelle27 thanks, I needed to hear that. I'm sure the event itself will be fine, it just really bothers me that it's yet another thing causing DH and I to argue. And I've already resigned myself to the fact that he will be involved in much more because it's taken everything in my power to convince him in the first place that he can't just plan the entire thing himself, since that's what he's used to doing.
Just call off the shower then? If your DH is throwing it and it's stressful, then don't have one. It's tacky.
*stuck in box*
I agree that it's tacky, which is why I refused to be involved. The only reason I feel like this sort of gets a pass is that DH is not actually throwing it, his mom is, it's just that he had to get on her case about sending invites and since we will be living in the same house as her as of this weekend, it will be impossible to keep him from helping/supervising the whole thing. He insists there's nothing wrong with throwing it ourselves so I'm lucky I at least got him to agree to let someone else invite people to it.
My sister sent out the invitations to mine barely 2 weeks in advance. I appreciate her hosting it but that seems like way too little time. So far, only three items have been purchase off my registry. Of course, I appreciate any gift people give and I don't mind if people give off registry gifts (some of our best wedding gifts were off registry), but it would be kind of nice to get some stuff we specifically need!
I thought nothing had been bought from my registry for my first shower but no one actually scanned the registry at check out so it looked like nothing had been bought. This is how I got double of a few things but oh well. I just had to manually mark the items as purchased after the shower.
My family shower is the first weekend in May and my mom keeps saying she is going to send the evites out but hasn't yet. She said it's all ready, she just has to enter the emails in. I'm not worried about it since it's all family and her friends and MIL's friends. And the 2 friends that we invited already know the date!
True, I suppose this is possible. I'm registered on Amazon though, and I feel like that's harder to mess up than an in-store registry.
"I thought that 3-4 weeks out for shower invitations was pretty standard? Or maybe that's just my group. ha. Edit to add, lots (as in most) people buy shower gifts very close to, if not day of, the shower."
That is standard, in my opinion, which is why just under two weeks feels really short to me.
My mom sent out the evites for our shower a few days ago. She asked everyone to bring a book instead of a card and I totally rolled my eyes when I read it since we had a discussion about this earlier in this thread. While I'm excited to get lots of books, I think she should have said something like "if you want" or "If you prefer" so it sounded like an option, not a must. Plus, what do I do if I get like 3 of the same book?! I can't return them if they are signed!
My mom sent out the evites for our shower a few days ago. She asked everyone to bring a book instead of a card and I totally rolled my eyes when I read it since we had a discussion about this earlier in this thread. While I'm excited to get lots of books, I think she should have said something like "if you want" or "If you prefer" so it sounded like an option, not a must. Plus, what do I do if I get like 3 of the same book?! I can't return them if they are signed!
My friends did a book shower, which I have to admit I loved. I didn't know till after, my whole shower was book themed. I did get some doubles and triples but they had little stickers at the door where they signed so on the doubles I put all the stickers on one book and took the others back. I have a few that were actually signed and I just put the doubles in her baby box.
My mom sent out the evites for our shower a few days ago. She asked everyone to bring a book instead of a card and I totally rolled my eyes when I read it since we had a discussion about this earlier in this thread. While I'm excited to get lots of books, I think she should have said something like "if you want" or "If you prefer" so it sounded like an option, not a must. Plus, what do I do if I get like 3 of the same book?! I can't return them if they are signed!
No joke... I got exactly 3 of the Dr. Seuss ABC books... 2 of which were signed. 1 is staying with me, 1 with my Mom... the 3rd is getting returned.
I also got 2 of the Dr. Seuss Sleep Softly books... but only 1 of those were signed. *insert sigh of relief*
@BellaO21 That's a good idea to keep some at the grandparent's houses! Unfortunately ours live in AZ and we are in WI I guess I could keep multiples in the diaper bag or the car. Or pray I don't get multiples! I registered for some books that I like after I saw the invite thinking maybe that would help??
My in-laws did the book thing at the shower they threw me...there were over 40 people there and we got exactly one multiple. For DD's first birthday I did get two more repeat books, but by then she had destroyed several of the original books so it was nice to have extras. I keep some duplicates in the diaper bag. Seriously, she eats board books. Several of them have holes in them and are bound by masking tape at this point. And she's not even 2 yet. So the multiples might come in handy for this baby - I can replace some of the most worn out books at least.
@BellaO21 That's a good idea to keep some at the grandparent's houses! Unfortunately ours live in AZ and we are in WI I guess I could keep multiples in the diaper bag or the car. Or pray I don't get multiples! I registered for some books that I like after I saw the invite thinking maybe that would help??
My moms in MI and we are in TN.. I just figured that way I didn't have to pack them for visits lol. And if she destroys the ones we kept at home then we can always get the duplicate back from my mom. We also registered for a wider variety of books hoping people would pay attention... my guests didn't (obviously lol) hopefully yours do!
I have gotten a lot of duplicate books for dd as gifts. If I don't get have a gift receipt, I just stick it in a closet where i have a stash of baby gifts. Now whenever a friend or family member has a baby, they get an outfit or a pack of swaddle blankets or something along with a copy of a book that they probably also already have multiple copies of. It's the never-ending regifting cycle of Goognight Moon over here.
I could definitely have used multiple copies of some books. DS' FAVORITE book/toy/anything is Goodnight Moon and it is read at least 3-4 times each day and he also takes it to bed during naps. I told DH that if I find more copies for cheap that I'm definitely buying them. We've had the board book version for about 3 weeks and it's already falling apart.
Those of you with little book destroyers should check out indestructibles books. They are awesome you can even put them in the dishwasher and they are cheap. Definitely buying a few more for this baby.
I unfortunately am not having a baby shower, most of my family is now deceased(parents,grandma, sister, aunt ect), and the members that are still alive i don't talk to due to drama ect... my husband's family is back in Rhode Island and no one in his family has even offered to throw me a shower, which i know they don't have to but kinda hurts my feelings, and we live in KC, and all my friends are back in Minnesota where i grew up. I feel like it would be odd/not acceptable to others if i threw my own baby shower. Any opinions on how to proceed/not proceed? Please be kind this is my first post.... tia ♡
I unfortunately am not having a baby shower, most of my family is now deceased(parents,grandma, sister, aunt ect), and the members that are still alive i don't talk to due to drama ect... my husband's family is back in Rhode Island and no one in his family has even offered to throw me a shower, which i know they don't have to but kinda hurts my feelings, and we live in KC, and all my friends are back in Minnesota where i grew up. I feel like it would be odd/not acceptable to others if i threw my own baby shower. Any opinions on how to proceed/not proceed? Please be kind this is my first post.... tia ♡
First I am sorry about your situation! Not cool.
I would read this whole post. It is very tacky to throw your own shower. I'm sorry that no one is offering.
I would save the money it would cost you to throw your own shower, and spend a fun day with DH buying all the fun things you need. Maybe get a fun lunch somewhere where you'd never go or just make a great day of it.
I unfortunately am not having a baby shower, most of my family is now deceased(parents,grandma, sister, aunt ect), and the members that are still alive i don't talk to due to drama ect... my husband's family is back in Rhode Island and no one in his family has even offered to throw me a shower, which i know they don't have to but kinda hurts my feelings, and we live in KC, and all my friends are back in Minnesota where i grew up. I feel like it would be odd/not acceptable to others if i threw my own baby shower. Any opinions on how to proceed/not proceed? Please be kind this is my first post.... tia ♡
I've seen others suggest having a "meet the baby" party a few weeks after birth instead of a shower. It obviously wouldn't help with items that you have to have immediately when baby arrives, but it's not as "gift grabby" as having a shower. You'd likely get a mix of people bringing gifts or not, since it wouldn't be something that's expected like at a shower, but people tend to like to bring things for new babies because they're kinda fun to shop for
I unfortunately am not having a baby shower, most of my family is now deceased(parents,grandma, sister, aunt ect), and the members that are still alive i don't talk to due to drama ect... my husband's family is back in Rhode Island and no one in his family has even offered to throw me a shower, which i know they don't have to but kinda hurts my feelings, and we live in KC, and all my friends are back in Minnesota where i grew up. I feel like it would be odd/not acceptable to others if i threw my own baby shower. Any opinions on how to proceed/not proceed? Please be kind this is my first post.... tia ♡
I would recommend creating a registry, and if people ask if you're having a shower or are registered, send them there. I wouldn't throw your own shower.
Someone brought up a good point. Showers are expensive anyway. Use that money to buy things for the baby! Your pennies will stretch further at consignment shops and yard sales!
@mrsamandamfarrar I'm sorry about your situation! Unfortunately, many people do not get to have baby showers due to circumstances like yours. You got some good advice above though. You could have a nice private celebration with JUST you and your husband and go shop for baby stuff, or you could host a party after the baby is born to introduce them to people. At a shower, you are the guest of honour, so you can't host it yourself, you can host something later where the baby is the guest of honour. That's more like hosting a birthday party for your kid, ettiquitte-wise. You still can't demand gifts, but it isn't weird to host the party, and many people will bring gifts anyway. Of course, you can also do nothing and buy a bunch of baby stuff on Amazon :-)
@mrsamandamfarrar Sorry about your situation, but sadly it is not uncommon. As others have said it is what it is. My mother didn't get a shower for me as she was given less than 2 days notice of my availability for adoption (they had been trying for over a decade to have a baby and/or on the adoption wait list). Honestly she didn't even care about having a shower since she was so excited to just finally have a baby, but boy was it a mad dash to get everything purchased and setup! I would say take this time to focus on that little one and perhaps take any money you might have available to fund a party to instead get into preparing a space for your baby. That will help you get excited and get some essentials purchased.
I got my hostess a few Cubs things from when I was in Arizona and went to a Spring Training game! They are HUGE Cubs fans! My other idea was a Fandango gift card because they go to a movie almost every week when I babysit for them.
Our moms are planning the next shower so I'm not sure what we will get them. My mom's best friend is having the shower at her house, maybe I should get her something small to thank her for letting us use her house?
@MithK our shower venue and food is being split evenly between my parents and his. Family is helping with games and favors (I believe so). I know my mom was doing decorations. I never heard of paying for your own shower, but a friend of mine told me she paid for some and the parents paid for some. So she picked the place and everything.
Re: Baby Showers
Just get her a nice hostess gift.
Long story short, despite much "debate" about whether or not we should be involved in planning our own shower, DH has stepped in and taken over. He has now instructed his mother that everyone needs to be invited by tomorrow. Neither one of them can be convinced that phoning people to invite them is an absolutely ridiculous idea, and that an email/evite would be infinitely easier for everyone, but whatever, at this point I guess I'm just grateful that anything at all is happening.
Oh and DH is pissed at me because I've very clearly stated that I want absolutely nothing to do with the planning (unless his mom or sister specifically ask my opinion or assistance with something) and he thinks I'm being ridiculous.
ETA: oh god I just overheard part of a phone call where now they're discussing emailing some of the people individually, and specifically giving those people 3 or 4 other names of people to "pass on" the information to...
I thought nothing had been bought from my registry for my first shower but no one actually scanned the registry at check out so it looked like nothing had been bought. This is how I got double of a few things but oh well. I just had to manually mark the items as purchased after the shower.
My family shower is the first weekend in May and my mom keeps saying she is going to send the evites out but hasn't yet. She said it's all ready, she just has to enter the emails in. I'm not worried about it since it's all family and her friends and MIL's friends. And the 2 friends that we invited already know the date!
Edit to add, lots (as in most) people buy shower gifts very close to, if not day of, the shower.
Edit to add, lots (as in most) people buy shower gifts very close to, if not day of, the shower."
That is standard, in my opinion, which is why just under two weeks feels really short to me.
1 is staying with me, 1 with my Mom... the 3rd is getting returned.
I also got 2 of the Dr. Seuss Sleep Softly books... but only 1 of those were signed. *insert sigh of relief*
@delujm0 the diaper bag is a good idea! Thanks!
I would read this whole post. It is very tacky to throw your own shower. I'm sorry that no one is offering.
I would save the money it would cost you to throw your own shower, and spend a fun day with DH buying all the fun things you need. Maybe get a fun lunch somewhere where you'd never go or just make a great day of it.
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Our moms are planning the next shower so I'm not sure what we will get them. My mom's best friend is having the shower at her house, maybe I should get her something small to thank her for letting us use her house?
I never heard of paying for your own shower, but a friend of mine told me she paid for some and the parents paid for some. So she picked the place and everything.