Big Dumb Questions Thread

tuxielove93 · April 2017

As we all enter the third trimester, I figured some FTMs especially probably have some questions again! At least I do, so I restarted the thread. Ask all of your dumb questions here! Especially the ones your too embarrassed to ask anyone else.

tuxielove93 · April 2017

As per my usual, I actually have a few questions:

1) Should I try to protect my bed or any other furniture from my water breaking or is it really not worth it? I know it doesn't normally break in a gush, but if it does, how difficult is that to clean up? I was just thinking of putting towels down on my sheets, and maybe keeping a towel on my couch. That's about the end of my furniture that I actually sit on. There's also the car, but my car seats are already a disaster, so there's not much point protecting them.

2) I take my husband to work every day because we only have one car, and I usually go have lunch with him since his work is seriously five minutes from our house. If/when I go into labor and he is at work, will I be able to drive to get him? Or are we going to have to change this arrangement at some point? In addition, should he come home immediately, especially if I do have to drive to get him?

3) How do you do baby kick counts? I was hearing that you should pick a time you know is active and count at least 10 kicks in 1 hour. If you don't get 10 by 2 hours, try again in a few hours, drink something cold or surgary, eat, and lay on your left side. If you still can't get 10 kicks, call your doctor. But I was just reading in my handbook from my midwife that I should get at least 10 movements in 10 hours..... and now I don't know what to count or if that was a major typo.

abmommy15 · April 2017

I've never heard of 10 movements in 10 hours, I think that's a typo. My doctor has always said 10 in 1 hour and if not drink something cold and sugary like juice and try again. Also make sure it's at a time that baby is normally active. They sleep a lot in there so you won't get 10 movements every hour.

postywiththemosty · April 2017

Potential **TW**

Does anyone go from totally sound of mind to OMG I haven't felt my baby in a few hours they might be dead kind of crazy??? This was me this morning. I got dismissed from work early yesterday and went home and had a relaxing afternoon doing laundry and feeling the baby kicking between loads while laying down watching House Hunters. She was really quiet right before bed and I didn't feel her at all when I'd wake up to turn over/adjust how I was sleeping. This morning she was quiet too and I was in full belief that she was gone. My mother experienced fetal demise around this time with her third and final pregnancy (my little brother) and that may be why I'm more on edge. I haven't been this on edge since the first trimester, so I'm not sure why now it's hit me so strongly.

edit to change wording

Dcwtada · April 2017

Re: water breaking. This almost always happens after contractions and labor begins. Movies and such like to make it slightly more dramatic but I would say more likely than not you will be well on your way before it happens.

My midwife told me last week that at this stage babies have a 60-90 minute sleep cycle. You won't get 10 movements an hour every hour. She said if you don't feel anything get up, have water and try again in the next hour.

tuxielove93 · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline Yes. TW** I also had a very early miscarriage two years ago, so I have been freaking out since the start with this baby but*** There was one morning where he didn't kick for about 5 hours in total. I started poking and prodding him trying to get him to move, but I have a shy baby, and it just made him hide. He ended up kicking the crap out of my bladder, and then finally moved up and kicked my ribs all day long after that. You are 100% not alone in freaking out about not feeling them. I do it all the time if I haven't felt him enough. Even if the kicks aren't strong enough I can get myself worried and worked up.

postywiththemosty · April 2017

@kerils I was just wondering this morning when kick counts start!

As for the water breaking, I would just get a waterproof mattress pad for peace of mind. I have one because we let our dogs sleep with us sometimes and every once in a while there's an accident and it saves my mattress! Not to mention it saves sweat and all that from soaking in and I will never live without one again because I can just toss it in the washing machine periodically.

postywiththemosty · April 2017

kerils said:

@maybeitsmadeline Yes. TW** I also had a very early miscarriage two years ago, so I have been freaking out since the start with this baby but*** There was one morning where he didn't kick for about 5 hours in total. I started poking and prodding him trying to get him to move, but I have a shy baby, and it just made him hide. He ended up kicking the crap out of my bladder, and then finally moved up and kicked my ribs all day long after that. You are 100% not alone in freaking out about not feeling them. I do it all the time if I haven't felt him enough. Even if the kicks aren't strong enough I can get myself worried and worked up.

THIS! I was thinking oh man. They're so soft and weak. I hope she's okay! That makes me feel better that I'm not BSC for feeling like that. It's getting closer and closer to them arriving that I feel like I'm even more panicked that something could to wrong. So odd!

greenbean-2 · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline Right there with you. Usually I'm rewarded with a middle of the night dance party after I start to get nervous, so I haven't had full-on anxiety about it yet, but yeah, my brain goes there too.

CapricaAndrea · April 2017

Ok I think this qualifies as a dumb question: is it beneficial to be shaved for labour? I've seen some women talking about getting Brazilians to prep for birth, and others mentioning being shaved by the nurses when they get to L&D. Is that actually a thing or does it matter?

dancegurl1118 · April 2017

@CapricaAndrea nope. Literally no benefit. And no one will care what your pubic hair looks like, bare or bush, so don't even worry about that.

@maybeitsmadeline @kerils sometimes I go twelve hours without feeling baby because I'm always moving at work. If I feel ten movements in one hour once a day I don't worry about it.

Dcwtada · April 2017

@CapricaAndrea they will shave you if you need a csection but not for vaginal labor. If you think you may go to csection it might be worthwhile to shave beforehand if you can, but if it doesn't bother you to have them shave you, don't worry about it.

ginger1228 · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline - noooopppe. I think pregnancy makes every woman crazy. I usually feel baby move at bedtime and in the morning if I wake up leaning on my stomach a little. If I don't feel anything, my first thought is bad. I know I'm crazy and I've been embracing it.

BusyZee · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline this has been happening to me in my sleep. Whenever I wake up in the night I panic and have to wait for some kind of movement otherwise I can't go back to sleep.

postywiththemosty · April 2017

@ginger1228 @greenbean-2 @dancegurl1118 @BusyZee
Thanks all! I'm glad I'm not alone, though I don't wish these crazy thoughts on anyone! It went beyond what I typed even. I started wondering if she just up and disappeared and I wasn't pregnant at all anymore. Beyond cuckoo, but I wasn't fully awake yet either, so there's that lol.

stokesm21 · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline I used to kind of giggle at those women who freaked out until it happened to me about 2 weeks ago. My girl is normally pretty active during the day and then one day I didn't feel her move at all. She finally gave me some good kicks around 7pm and I was soooo relieved. You definitely are not alone

Even this past week she's slowed down a during the day but I figure if I still feel her at some point (she seems to be back to a more-active-at-night routine) then I'm/we're okay.

@kerils 1) Protecting my bed is not something I've ever really thought of. I think everyone is different. I don't remember my sister having her water break all over the place with either. I'd say if putting something down is going to be/feel uncomfortable then I wouldn't do it but if not then go for it? I'm curious if the STM's would verify that it does/doesn't happen like it does in movies where one second you're standing there and *whoosh!* For some reason I don't think it does but again, I guess everyone is different.
2) I think you guys should definitely have a plan B. Is there someone at work he's close to who can drive him home when it's time? A STM would probably be more help with this but both times I saw my sis in labour before going to the hospital she was in no state to be driving a vehicle.

kat0607 · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline you're totally not alone, I am on board the crazy train for sure when it comes to movement and not feeling him at the exact moment that I *want* to.

I can't even see my pubic area at this point so I'm actually relieved that shaving for labor isn't a necessary thing. I've already told DH I've given up on it until after the baby is born because it's too much upkeep hahaha

ETA: I thought of a dumb question. All my pregnancy apps say colostrum starts coming in during this time and it's common to experience leaky breasts. Well mine haven't been leaky, but one random day over the weekend I think I leaked a little bit of something from one boob only. I didn't notice it until I got up and saw the wet spot on my shirt, and on further inspection, I was completely dry other than that one spot. Is leakage from only one breast normal in your experience? That was the first and only time that's happened yet.

AdaByron · April 2017

kat0607 said:

@maybeitsmadeline you're totally not alone, I am on board the crazy train for sure when it comes to movement and not feeling him at the exact moment that I *want* to.

I can't even see my pubic area at this point so I'm actually relieved that shaving for labor isn't a necessary thing. I've already told DH I've given up on it until after the baby is born because it's too much upkeep hahaha

ETA: I thought of a dumb question. All my pregnancy apps say colostrum starts coming in during this time and it's common to experience leaky breasts. Well mine haven't been leaky, but one random day over the weekend I think I leaked a little bit of something from one boob only. I didn't notice it until I got up and saw the wet spot on my shirt, and on further inspection, I was completely dry other than that one spot. Is leakage from only one breast normal in your experience? That was the first and only time that's happened yet.

I never leaked before delivery with DS, but I would say leaking from one side is not outside the realm of possibility. Boobs are weird. Weirdness is normal.

mamadcb · April 2017

I second @maybeitsmadeline 's idea of a waterproof pad. I think you're unlikely to need it for your water breaking (as PP said, for most people that is not the first sign of labor so you have some advance notice) but because after delivery your hormones will be going crazy and you will likely sweat a TON at night as your body gets rid of a lot of extra fluids. You can lay towels down, of course, but a waterproof pad is nice because it's more comfortable and you know it won't move while you sleep.

Speaking of sleeping postpartum, I remember reading people looking forward to sleeping on their stomachs again. I certainly was! But if you BF, those first few weeks/months after your milk comes in can make it really uncomfortable to lie on your boobs. Maybe that's not everyone's experience but it was mine.

As to movement, I seem to make lazy babies

I only feel him moving around a few times a day very briefly. I think trying to do kick counts would make me very anxious, and my OB has never suggested any formal measurement of movement. I just try to pay attention to MY normal.

longhairdntcare · April 2017

FTM so all of my experience comes from my sisters having all my nephews/nieces.

@kerils re: water breaking - I agree with others that usually this happens after contractions start. I don't plan to do anything to protect my bed. Obliviously it can happen the other way around, but I would say that isn't the 'norm'.

re: kick counts. Definitely think that was a typo. Everything I have read is 10 in an hour.

re: car situation. I think similar to the water breaking, it normally doesn't happen IRL the way it does in the movies. When you start having contractions, you will likely have plenty of time to drive to DH's work to pick him up while they are still mild/spaced out, especially if he's only 5 min away. Worst case scenario, he could have a coworker drop him off or take an uber.

@maybeitsmadeline you definitely aren't alone. I just got a nice bill in my email today from a few weeks ago when baby girl didn't kick me at all for over 12 hours and I went to the hospital for a NST. Of course as soon as I got hooked up she started wiggling around.

lph4248 · April 2017

@maybeitsmadeline I have definitely been there. I usually find some way to distract myself, and then eventually I feel something again, but there can be fairly long stretches where she's just snoozin' or doing minor stuff I don't pick up on.

@kat0607 It's another one of those things that varies a lot. I've heard it tends to just be dried little specks that you might only notice upon close inspection - that has been the case for me. I also have more with one boob (my bigger one lol).

...Omg shaving or waxing for labor?! I hate the feeling of shaved pubic hair growing back in, so I would be pissed if they did that to me on top of all the other recovery stuff. I also refuse to wax for the same reason. I will trim but I'm not about to go bald. Think of the draft! Haha. I know they have to shave the area if you get a c-section, but that's different.

glitterfish-2 · April 2017

@kerils I would protect my bed from all manner of fluids, probably starting now! I don't think you are able to get amniotic fluid out of a mattress. Also, it's not always a big gush, but remember that you will probably keep leaking on the way to the birth, so protect your car seats.
I suspect you will have several "false" or debatable starts to labor. After the first one, I would let him take the car so he can go back and forth

My sister drove herself to the hospital the last time, and I think many people do.

@kat0607 I've been leaking for a couple of months now. Sometimes it's one, sometimes it's both. So far my right boob seems lazier though!

As for kick counts, I haven't started them, but it doesn't really worry me either.

ECarson84 · April 2017

Re: the drive there's no way I could have driven myself with DS. Things progresses quickly for me from wondering if it was the real deal to OMG we have to leave now.

Re: mattress protection I laid down towels before DS just in case but as PP said, invest in a mattress cover now because the postpartum sweat is intense. I was not at all prepared and July heat will only make this worse (DS was May which was hot enough).

Re: colostrum - very possible to be small amount out of just one.

*edited for words

chiquita928 · April 2017

My water broke at 38w with absolutely NO other indications of labor for DS. I laid down to sleep, felt a little weird like maybe I had to pee, and stood up. It was a small splash, and dribbles. I honestly wasn't sure if it was my water breaking or if I actually had peed a little. I laid back down with a washcloth down there fro 5 minutes, and when I stood back up, another small gush. All of it was able to be cleaned up with a hand towel. Personally, I have a waterproof mattress pad on my bed anyway, because it's washable and protects the mattress, but my bed never got a drop on it. I did put on a pad, and put at puppy pad on the seat driving to the hospital, but probably didn't need it. I didn't have a single contraction until about 2 hours later (and it was back labor, so I didn't even know that's what it was), and easily could have driven myself there.

Who knows what will happen this time. I think the point is that it's different for everyone, and you should take whatever simple measures you can to ease your mind.

AdaByron · April 2017

A waterproof mattress cover is a good idea regardless, because after the baby is born your boobs will leak while you're sleeping, or you'll try to change the baby on the bed and get a pee fountain, or two years from now your kid will climb on your bed with a sippy cup and leak something, or you'll let your toddler take a nap in your bed and their diaper will leak... life after babies is just messy.

OperaSingerMommy · April 2017

@kerils I had little puppy pads on my mattress and in the car from about 38 weeks on but my water didn't break until I was in the hospital so it didn't end up mattering for me. If it makes you feel more secure, it can't hurt to protect your mattress!

Realistically, if you husband's work isn't far, you'd probably have plenty of time to pick him up while you're in very early labor. I'd just have a plan B because like other have said, contractions can go from zero to 60 sometimes and I wouldn't want to drive at that point. I think a higher percentage of women go into labor at night (someone correct me if that's wrong!) so odds are, he'd be around and just stay home from work the next morning if your labor is progressing.

@maybeitsmadeline You are definitely not alone! I feel most of my movements at night so I have very log periods of calm during the day that cause me to get a little anxious. It's sound like you know when you call your doc just in case but they can sleep for long stretches!

lph4248 · April 2017

Were any STMs able to wear ruched cotton t-shirts as non-maternity clothes after the baby came and your bump went back down? I bought a bunch and I think it might be more than I need for pregnancy, but if they don't stretch out too much I can see them possibly working as regular t-shirts.

Time to double check that my mattress pad is waterproof... EDIT: misunderstood others' posts. Never mind about amniotic fluid leaking - this is not a normal thing.

glitterfish-2 · April 2017

lph4248 said:

Were any STMs able to wear ruched cotton t-shirts as non-maternity clothes after the baby came and your bump went back down? I bought a bunch and I think it might be more than I need for pregnancy, but if they don't stretch out too much I can see them possibly working as regular t-shirts.

Also I had no idea amniotic fluid could start leaking even months before labor. Time to double check that my mattress pad is waterproof...

Well I did, but they've always fit my wide hips better!

lph4248 · April 2017

@cait32 oops, I was reading too fast and misunderstood. Thanks for the correction. (And no I'm not leaking!)

Twinkiedoll · April 2017

I bought a waterproof mattress cover for my bed. I figured it would be good to protect the mattress anyway, and it only cost $20.

Having a waterproof mattress cover also saved my in-laws' very expensive Tempurpedic mattresses that time the stray cat got in the house and peed/pooped everywhere. Their bed was a favorite go-to spot for that furry little interloper.

chiquita928 · April 2017

lph4248 said:

Were any STMs able to wear ruched cotton t-shirts as non-maternity clothes after the baby came and your bump went back down? I bought a bunch and I think it might be more than I need for pregnancy, but if they don't stretch out too much I can see them possibly working as regular t-shirts.

Time to double check that my mattress pad is waterproof... EDIT: misunderstood others' posts. Never mind about amniotic fluid leaking - this is not a normal thing.

I did. they're actually some of my favorites, because I like how long they are.

caribbeanmama-2 · April 2017

My water never broke on its own - I started to deliver the baby with the bag of waters in tact and I finally then consented for them to break it. (I was going for minimal/intervention free). We have a normal mattress pad - not a waterproof one.

I had a super fast labor with my first and I would
not have been able to drive from the onset of contractions. The baby descended into a very painful position - on a nerve that gave me crazy back pain.

I had an anterior placenta last time, so all this movement is so new and driving me crazy this time around. Last time my midwife just said I should feel some movement every hour (I think it was a bit later on in the third trimester though.)

optbaby2017 · April 2017

FTM here...

My hospital is only 10min from my office, but if I go into Labor there DH will have a 30min drive to get to me, then the hospital. When I mentioned this to my doctor (we were deciding between two hospitals) she made me promise that I wouldn't drive when in labor, even early labor. I'm sure many mamas do it, but better not to if possible.

@lph4248 I had a few maternity shirts pre-pregnancy that I wore. I liked that they were longer, since I work with kids and am up and down off the floor all the time. I only had one person comment, and it was actually a "is that a maternity top? that's genious!" comment.

@AdaByron "Boobs are weird. Weirdness is normal." Lol - I literally spit out my drink.

mslynn2012 · April 2017

@kerils - looks like I'm the oddball here, but NOT within my circle of friends IRL. With DS (my first) my dog woke me up at 5am to take her out. I took her out and then went to pee before going back to bed. I sat on the toilet and a HUGE gush came out - my water broke around 5:10am. My contractions didn't start until close to 11am. With my DD I started having annoying contractions every 15 minutes for 30-ish hours before my water broke (once again a HUGE gush). So IMO I definitely would have some type of protection on important furniture/whatnot.

For our our bed we got a waterproof mattress protector (lifesaver during diaper changes and now sick/vomiting kids). When on the couch I sat on a towel, and in my car I just sat on a puppy piddle pad. This was good as my water broke at home and I still had to travel to the hospital while leaking out.

Just my .02

WeddingNotes13 · April 2017

My water broke first with DS. It only partially broke, so it was just a small gush. I was wearing a pad and it managed that OK. @mslynn2012 I can't imagine the huge gush! I was in denial, so I worked for another two hours, drove 15min home to take care of a few things, then drove another 10 min to the hospital, checking in 3 hours after water broke. My labor had not yet started on its own. There are so many ways that labor can start and progress. I had been wearing a pad to work for a few days as a just-in-case and was sure glad to have it. Prep in whatever ways help you to feel relaxed, comfortable, and confident, but do not stress about covering all of the basis.

nononorman · April 2017

Re: being shaved by a nurse - I've heard this several times now (including that for some people it's been done preliminarily so there's no added rush if they may need a c section) and nothing seems more mortifying to me than having some person who drew the short straw pulling a disposable bic out of a drawer and shaving me. I would rather crap on the table 15 times than have to do that. So it's waxing for me until labor!
Just a personal thing I guess?? And there's no draft down there as far as I can tell

ljd2010 · April 2017

@kerils Just like @mslynn2012, my water broke in a gush. Earlier in the day, I noticed a wet spot in my underwear but couldn't tell if it was discharge, pee, or water breaking. My SIL (an ob) told me to keep an eye on it. then I woke up in the middle of the night, and my water decidedly broke. I was very happy we had a waterproof mattress cover. The water never really stopped, and I walked around the house with a towel between my legs getting ready and sat on a towel in the car on the way to the hospital. As others have said, lots of fluids are probably coming your way anyway, so it wouldn't hurt to get the waterproof mattress pad!

kat0607 · April 2017

This is a REALLY dumb question, inspired by the coupons and deals thread. Why is a crib quilt or blanket necessary? Is it just for show? I'm actually laughing out loud at myself because I honestly have no idea. Babies don't snuggle up with a quilt in there, do they? Infants and small babies don't obviously. But I'm not sure I understand the real purpose of them hahaha

nktrodden826 · April 2017

kat0607 said:

This is a REALLY dumb question, inspired by the coupons and deals thread. Why is a crib quilt or blanket necessary? Is it just for show? I'm actually laughing out loud at myself because I honestly have no idea. Babies don't snuggle up with a quilt in there, do they? Infants and small babies don't obviously. But I'm not sure I understand the real purpose of them hahaha

I was so mad (looking back) that I paid hundreds of dollars for my son's nautical crib set when you can't use half the stuff it comes with!!
No quilt, bumpers, pillows, and the worst one- a changing pad cover (blow out on it first night home and I never put it back on!) better off buying sheets, and a sheet protector was my life saver with my "happy spitter" and curtains to match if you want that. Everything else is a waste!!

ginger1228 · April 2017

@kat0607 - total waste of money! Just a way for companies to make money unless you save it for when kiddo is old enough for a blanket. Most of my friends use the blanket as a wall hanging. We're only going to buy sheets and a mattress protector. Nothing should be in a crib with baby except a fitted sheet.

nononorman · April 2017

@kat0607 I only bought so many blankets because we live in a place that gets fairly cold and we often have the door open even when it's cold because we have cold-weather dogs that like to be outside. So I figured I'd probably be using a lot of blankets to hold her, carry her around and lay with her on the couch during the winter and I am assuming that she's probably going to puke on all them. I bought a ton of A&A to use as nursing covers, stroller covers (Bc I'm expecting a fair skinned baby and I hate nosy people), things to drape over my body so she can puke on them and not me (esp for nursing w work/real clothes on), and also possibly swaddles. Plus they're big enough to use as light blankets next summer when shes allowed to have them. We didn't actually buy any blankets or similar for the crib itself. Just fitted sheets and mattress protectors.

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