@Tourmalily first of all, WTF to your DH, I'm sure he's sweet and wonderful but that was a dumb thing to say. Or at least, a dumb way to say it. Second of all, I feel you. I get bloated so easily which I'm not used to and I'm really embarrassed by it. It's zero percent baby and 100 percent blump. I've been feeling really unattractive lately too with blump and sore boobs. It's as if what I feel inside is being reflected outside. Yesterday at the baby shower I went to, a woman I don't know told me I was pretty and asked me for a hug and I almost started crying because I feel as though I look like a "before" advertisement for a workout infomercial. Third of all, I bet you actually look beautiful to everyone around you. Fourth of all, at least your chin hairs aren't black like this girl's!
He thought he was being funny. Because every woman wants to be told she's growing a beard. Ha. Ha. Turned out it was only 2 chin hairs and I've always had them, they're my little buddies, but I've been so distracted lately I hadn't plucked them in forever.
To be honest he just doesn't understand how much women are bombarded with shitty messages about their looks and weight every day. He just says that he thinks I'm beautiful and he thinks that that should be enough? He doesn't validate what I feel. He can't just say, "I know you're feeling down, I know this is hard, but you're doing great. Hang in there, I love you." Instead he just says stupid shit like "Well it's only temporary!" as if I'm just going to pop out a baby and shed 25+ pounds. He means well, but he's not great at being reassuring sometimes. It's very dismissive the way he treats my feelings sometimes, even if/when they're not rational. That's really when I need him to be supportive the most, and that's when he fails at it
I'd feel better if my pants fit, probably. I'm uncomfortable in every conceivable way - my stomach makes these horrible gurgling noises, I'm burping all the time, I'm sick right now with a sore throat and super congested nose. My pants not fitting is just adding insult to injury.
Me: 32 Husbando: 49 Married Since: 7/29/2012 omgosh
@Tourmalily I've definitely had to show DH the appropriate way to respond to me many many times and especially now. Its as if he doesn't realize that something is a valid issue just because he'll never have to deal with it. I've had to do this with sexism, racism (he's white, I'm not), and now pregnancy. MY FEELINGS ARE VALID DH DO NOT DISMISS ME. And don't fix my problems just agree with me that it sucks.
Im sorry you're so uncomfortable and you're sick and your pants are being TWs Your feelings are valid and you're not being irrational! Im having a fairly easy pregnancy compared to many women here and I still think pregnancy is hard! You're doing great
Because I somehow stood up too fast while bending over and bruised my hip bone on the corner of the wall. Still hurts, about 10 hours later.
And because I went out to pick up dinner and DH texted me and said "I love you so much, you're my everything!" and I broke down crying in my car because it was so sweet.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
@Tourmalily you are not alone! I am feeling the same way and my chin hair is out of control right now. All my pants are uncomfy. I literally started crying in home depot this weekend bc my bra and pants were uncomfortable. DH doesn't quite understand either.
The best thing I did during my first pregnancy was tell my HB what he could say in those out of control body image moments that would have made me feel better. Obviously this happened once I was calm and at a better place. He took to it like a mantra and it really worked even though he was just repeating what I told him. It showed me he did care and prevented him from saying stupid things.
@Tourmalily please don't be too hard on yourself!! I know how you feel--today was jeans day at work and I was just so uncomfortable the whole time wishing I could be in a stretchy dress or skirt the whole time. But at the end of the day--it's ok. We are pregnant, our bodies are doing what they are supposed to do to take care of our babies.
@Tourmalily It can be so hard as your body changes... I'm with you on just feeling like I've gained 10 pounds. But in reality, there's a baby rearranging your insides so of course things are going to shift. Time to bust out the maternity clothes. No shame. If you aren't comfortable, you can't be confident or feel good in your skin.
Also I'm with you on the chin hair. I turned 25 and all of a sudden I was like, what is this?! I have a few spots where long hairs reliably grow back even though I'm vigilant about plucking. In the car, I mindlessly feel my chin for stray long ones! It's so satisfying to pull them out! Lol.
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying 3/17
He thought he was being funny. Because every woman wants to be told she's growing a beard. Ha. Ha. Turned out it was only 2 chin hairs and I've always had them, they're my little buddies, but I've been so distracted lately I hadn't plucked them in forever.
To be honest he just doesn't understand how much women are bombarded with shitty messages about their looks and weight every day. He just says that he thinks I'm beautiful and he thinks that that should be enough? He doesn't validate what I feel. He can't just say, "I know you're feeling down, I know this is hard, but you're doing great. Hang in there, I love you." Instead he just says stupid shit like "Well it's only temporary!" as if I'm just going to pop out a baby and shed 25+ pounds. He means well, but he's not great at being reassuring sometimes. It's very dismissive the way he treats my feelings sometimes, even if/when they're not rational. That's really when I need him to be supportive the most, and that's when he fails at it
I'd feel better if my pants fit, probably. I'm uncomfortable in every conceivable way - my stomach makes these horrible gurgling noises, I'm burping all the time, I'm sick right now with a sore throat and super congested nose. My pants not fitting is just adding insult to injury.
Married Since: 7/29/2012
omgosh
Im sorry you're so uncomfortable and you're sick and your pants are being TWs
And because I went out to pick up dinner and DH texted me and said "I love you so much, you're my everything!" and I broke down crying in my car because it was so sweet.
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Also I'm with you on the chin hair. I turned 25 and all of a sudden I was like, what is this?! I have a few spots where long hairs reliably grow back even though I'm vigilant about plucking. In the car, I mindlessly feel my chin for stray long ones! It's so satisfying to pull them out! Lol.
DS#2 3/15
Baby #3~