IF/testing check in - week of 4/3

KristoKekerooni · April 2017

@vflux33 - THANK YOU! Yes. SOOOO over it.

eggplantface · April 2017

OMG @KristoKekerooni did you know some people out there DON'T like pumpkin spice??? That UO pops up every. Damn. Fall. I totally hear you on it becoming repetitive. It's all repetitive. We're stuck in some hellish Groundhog Day.

KristoKekerooni · April 2017

@eggplantface OMG NO WAY!? *insert eyeroll* I feel you, girl, I feel you.

laurad75 · April 2017

And Disney. People just love to announce that they don't like Disney.

hartmich · April 2017

You guys are like mind readers because I was JUST thinking this - even the damn FFFC threads are tough when you've been here forever.

[Deleted User] · April 2017

This is all extremely true.

But to be fair today's FFFC is HILARIOUS. There are secret marriages and pants pooping happening and I love it.

leekat14 · April 2017

lulu1180 said:k

laurad75 said:

vflux33 said:

kiwi2628 good news about the SA and bloodwork!

@leekat14 sorry about the BFN.

Someone from this thread better graduate soon, damnit!

@hartmich When (and I mean when, not if) I get my BFP I will definitely be posting in the grad thread and I would hate to be jerk who questioned me for that even though I haven't been on the dailies.

If anyone tried to question any of the ladies on this thread for posting on the grad thread, I would flame them something terrible and they would think they landed in hell! The ladies in this thread are some of the most amazing and supportive ladies I have ever had the pleasure of knowing/lurking and I would be over the moon for any and every one of you to get your BFP and post it in the grad thread! So please don't anyone be afraid of posting there because you know there's plenty of people that would back you up and flame any newbie who tried to question it!

Also @hartmich if this person was a recent grad that moved quietly on, I think you should PM them telling them that you would love to see them post in the grad thread and plenty of others on here would like to see it as well!

^^^^^this^^^^

KristoKekerooni · April 2017

@antoto - yes, I do agree on that. Today was a rarity. A beloved rarity.

Anna_1021 · April 2017

I agree with the basic sentiment and thanks @hartmich for drawing attention to the subject: every amazing lady here should be confident to post in the grad thread. It is always great to hear those succeed who's been struggling before. And I'm quite sure that if anyone was there to question their right to do so, we would be there as a group to gang-attack the poor soul until they apologize in shame

TravelingCouple · April 2017

Damn I'm off TB for one day and miss a crap ton. How am I supposed to take a 2 month break from you ladies? That's right, I can't.

RE BFP in this thread: a resounding no from me, for the same reasons stated previously. I need this thread to be drama and pregnancy free. It's my safe haven. I love your sentiment though @hartmich and agree that I'd want to see every single person's grad post from here. I'm curious who this mystery grad is now...

And danggg you ladies just get it. Once you've been on this thread this long everything is redundant. And I can't with the dailies most days. The energy and excitement is exhausting, and annoying tbh. I wish I still had that excitement but that feels like a million years ago.

I was saying to DH yesterday (bc yes I do talk about you ladies and this board to DH. He's so glad I have this community) that it's sad how much quieter this board is these days because everyone is graduating. Not sad sad obviously, but you KWIM... And he said I shouldn't look at it like it's sad, but that it should give me hope that one day I'll also move on and someone else will come and replace my spot. That guy. He's a winner.

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

@TravelingCouple and @hartmich I am also curious who this grad is..... I NEVER look at BMBs, let alone the other threads on this board, but now due to @antoto I'm off to read through FFFC....

madspunk · April 2017

@hartmich Yea - I'll try not to worry. I know there's no sense in worrying about next cycle because there may not be a problem at all, and even if there is, it's worthless energy. You'd think with IF I'd learn to stop trying to plan!

As for the dailies and that debate, this board is basically my daily board. I lurked the dailies for a LONG time before I started posting here (and still check them out). The reason I never posted in the dailies was because I never quite fit. When you always have an-O cycles that are constantly in excess of 60 days, you don't really want to be posting in WTO for 2 months or more.

I agree that we should keep this for IF/testing, not BFPs. But when you all get your BFPs, I definitely want to know!!! Don't any of you dare disappear without your very deserved celebration. I hope we all blow up that grad thread. And soon!

@tamalahoops Incidentally, I was stalking the WTO board today - and I listened to S-Town and LOVED it. The creator is such a good story-teller. Let me know what you think when you're done.

hartmich · April 2017

@tamalahoops @madspunk I just started S-Town! It's so good so far.

@travelingcouple @juneroseruby If you haven't yet, check the grad thread

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

@tamalahoops @madspunk @hartmich I listened to S-town last weekend! Not what I thought would happen. I liked it.

TravelingCouple · April 2017

Well I got AF so there's that. I'm sure I'll still be on TB but unsure as to how participatory I'll be. Hoping this break gives me what I need.

LoveInDC · April 2017

@TravelingCouple Hugs hugs hugs

Take all the time you need away from here. Don't forget about the benched thread if you need it. We're all here when you're ready to come back.

FWIW, I'm on day 82 of a hell cycle (so nearly 3 months of living in limbo). Wanting to be here and participate will come and go in waves. No pressure to be all or nothing. Come and go as you please

We're here to support you however you need

vflux33 · April 2017

Ugh really sorry @TravelingCouple. I hope Hawaii helps to wash away all the disappointment you're feeling right now and gives you some time to refresh. Participate as much or as little here as you feel is right for you

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

@TravelingCouple be good to yourself, enjoy Hawaii, and focus on your relationship building with your H. We are here are much or as little as you need us during your break!

beachbunnyxo123 · April 2017

@TravelingCouple so sorry girl

take as much time as you need. You will be missed of course!! I hope you enjoy Hawaii and have a great trip with YH

so AF came today for me too. Had a huge temp drop yesterday so I knew it was coming. This was a really hard one for me because I was hopeful that I'd be a SS and get KTFU before starting treatment. I know there are so many others who have been trying for much longer so I don't want to seem like I'm complaining I think it's just starting to set in for me now that AF is here and I picked up my femara. I can't remember if they said I needed to come in for BW or an ultrasound before starting the femara? Does anyone have insight on this? I'm gonna call first thing tomorrow since they are closed today. I'm supposed to start it Tuesday night time I think (cd 3).

[Deleted User] · April 2017

Not going to lie, this thread has gotten so big for the week - which is wonderful! - I couldn't possibly catch up on it all right now, but I've read p1 and p6 at least andIm rooting for everyone. Trying to lurk/love-tit but not post as much in an effort to not obsess about ttc. Ha! I do like this thread better than the IF bread tho. <3

@JuneRoseRuby I googled the Robertsonian translocation - can I ask if that's you or YH? Is that the likely cause of his MFI?

Re: bfps of old regs. FWIW there's another old reg who doesn't post here anymore, I wish would come back and post in the Grad thread, but she probably won't :'(

AFM, I have my first RE consult Wedneaday morning. This is me trying not to obsess... :#

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

@BusinessWife Here is a great video that explains the translocation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbGw4VanNjk&t=3s It does not explain H's MFI. All it does is cause a higher risk of MC due to the possible trisomies that it can cause. In typical males with this translocation, they have a 75% chance of a "normal" pregnancy, but with MH's complications of his severe MFI, they can't give us those odds. So it will make me high risk. The risk of MC rises to 25% when typically for most women it is 15%. So we will need to do PGS. They don't have any reason for MH's MFI. He is on Clomid now and his hormone levels have gone up so we will do a repeat SA in May to see if it will work. How are you feeling going to the RE? I know you have been working with your primary on your IF.

LoveInDC · April 2017

@BusinessWife The thread has blown up so much this week, it's a wonder any of us can keep up! Good luck on Wednesday

FX it's a good fit and you're one step closer to a BFP and your take home baby. Can't wait to see your update!

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@JuneRoseRuby thanks for sharing that video. It's very interesting. Fx it doesn't cause you too much more trouble.... and fx for better SA results in May! :)

I feel good about going bc it's a huge step forward. The slimmest possible chance that we may be able to conceive without icsi is not enough for me not to get the ball rolling. DH in particular is very concerned about the financial detriment of ivf, but I sort of am leaning heavier towards acceptance that if that's our only option then what choice do we have? We find a way. I feel bad bc if our other choice is childlessness - I feel like I could find a way to be happy in the meantime, but as we get older, we're supposed to be watching them grow up and start families of their own. That's the part I can't shake, that the family line would just stop there and it's a wrap. :/ it's like I want even more to be a grandparent than a parent myself somehow! Lol. But anyway, just hoping too that it can be pretty straightforward on my end for all the grief we are going through on his. It sucks. I will still have to go through all the stimming and ER, even though it's not "me" with the problem, kwim? I don't want to keep going there, but that aspect is definitely a bummer that I don't want to dwell on, for DHs sake. I do hope he will see that it's not as if this process is going to be "fun" for me either, but you do what you have to do for the sake of your childten, sometimes before they even get here, it would seem! So I am just hoping we have a good ER, (just the one) and nice healthy banked embies so we can just do all the FETs and live happily ever after. Lol is that too much to ask!?!? ;)

And of course I can't get too far ahead of myself either, bc if we do his procedure and there's nothing to retrieve, then it really is a wrap. Hoping the Clomid can give him an edge, and we'll see what happens! It could be 8-10 ish weeks from now, but maybe longer if we need more time to save up and have DH feel ok about shelling the $$$ out... for smthg painful and involved, with no guarantee... :/

vflux33 · April 2017

@BusinessWife I can totally relate to the being able to handle childlessness even less as a longterm idea. I've always been more of a kid person than a baby person. It sucks that us ladies have to take meds whether the issue is with us or with our H's--it makes sense, but sucks. FX the Clomid helps YH and good luck with your RE!

zwink1 · April 2017

@BusinessWife, you summed up all of my feelings on ivf, icsi, parenthood, and childlessness. I can mentally wrap my head around the idea of not having children for the next 5, 10, maybe 15 years, but it's thinking about birthdays and graduations, weddings and grandchildren that really gets my emotions going.

sjb2215 · April 2017

@TravelingCouple Sorry for AF. I hope you enjoy the trip and time with YH.

@beachbunnyxo123 sorry for AF. We just had our first appointment last week and that was my hope too. Sorry I can't answer the question about blood work but I'm sure someone here has insight and FX going forward.

@BusinessWife Good luck with your RE appt and very well said! I too think about the here and now, but also all those future events. We are dealing with MFI and I have yet to go thru the gammot of tests, but will be next month. FX the clomid helps out!

safire3 · April 2017

@BusinessWife so well put. I think we feel the same about so many aspects of this. It really does suck that no matter who the problem is with, the process is pretty much the same. That's why I think I'm so desperate to see if there is anything that can be done to 'fix' the situation with MH before we commit to IVF. GL with your appointment on Wednesday, I hope it goes well.

AFM I finally found a urologist to get a second opinion and we have an appointment on Tuesday. The doctor is out of network so it will cost us $425. Also we keep getting bills for DH's lab work and so far it's up to almost $2000. Can't believe we are spending so much money and we haven't even gotten into treatment yet.

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

@BusinessWife so I am guessing eh started the clomid about 2-4 weeks ago? Is he getting blood work after 1 month? I can completely relate, you know that. We are in the same boat. I know you haven't met with the RE yet, but when you say "something painful and involved" do you mean a TESE? I hear you on the $$ aspect too. MH wants to tear out the carpets today and I'm like uhh, we have no idea what this year will bring us financially... but I think he just thinks we should continue to live our lives as if IF is not directing it, but we need to be mindful of what it is that we really want too. Your dream plan of the one ER, embies to freeze and FETs was the same thing I said I was hoping for last week!

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@JuneRoseRuby yeah, the doctor is going to explore quickly to see if there is MAYBE a small (unpalpable) vas on the left that could be crossed to the right, but I think we should also attempt a retrieval while we're in there just to be safe. He will try MESA first, and then TESE if MESA isn't possible. Then even if he does come back and say yes, there's a tube he can go back in and try to cross over, 1) we know he's producing enough sperm to hypothetically have counts return after the microsurgery, 2) we'll have frozen sperm for icsi regardless and 3) if they can't find any sperm, then we'll know that, too. I'm not going to try and synchronize our retrievals at this point bc I'm not sure we're comfortable just automatically going to donor backup if they can't find any of his. Better to wait to take on all that extra cost on my end by taking it one step at a time. :)

Thanks @LoveinDC @zwink1 @safire3 @sjb2215 @vflux33 I know you guys get it ❤ don't get me wrong - I love babies, too! GIVE ME ALL THE BABIES!!! LOL but the truth is, they are also a tonne of work and they don't stay babies forever. "Forever" is raising kids, watching them learn, grow up, ride bikes, make decisions, ...become the people they were meant to be [and having a special parent/child relationship with them], develop careers, hopefully fall in love, get married, have kids of their own... let the whole cycle continue... :/

I figured we had spent about $2,400 each just on testing and labs, ultrasounds etc. - and that was before his last battery (including genetics) which was another $1,001 cash, up front, OOP. His next procedure is $5,500, - which is the first actual bit of TREATMENT, if you can call sperm retrieval, "treatment" - plus bloodwork week after next, another doctor's office f/u on the 25th... who knows what my RE will order for me etc. I'm hoping not much tho bc I've had so much already. I will pitch a fit if she wants to repeat my HSG, for example. Baseline cd3 bw, fine, metabolic panel okay, since that was last done for me in May, but honestly. Besides MAYBE a hypothetical tube surgury for him, my next thing would be ER, so I dunno how much that will be to pay cash. I gotta revisit the ole budget and figure out how we're going to make this all work. Meanwhile DH wants to keep up his tattoo removal, needs major dental work, loves buying his tools and things as per usual etc. So it's hard bc he resents putting other things aside and having the IF $$ trump other things in the budget right now... we won't talk about my stash tho :D

Eta @safire3. I forgot I was going to say, DHs repeat SA was free (woot!) But we too have now seen 3 urologists. The first was really more oncology oriented, but he ordered TRUS and referred us to his colleague. The second guy was a freaking WASTE except that now we know bc we feel Sooooo much more comfortable with this guy. Each initial office consult was about $240, $250. It doesnt hurt to ask if there's a cash price. His TRUS came to plus or minus $500? I can't remember, but similar to my HSG, and his last scrotal/renal one in office was $250 including consult. My RE consult is going to b $450 tho, and it all adds up, so I feel your pain.

JuneRoseRuby · April 2017

@BusinessWife I hear you on the one step at at time. We will also most likely do a frozen cycle pending results of his SA. We also aren't on the same page with donor yet. I feel like it is a bridge we weren't meant to cross yet.

wabash15 · April 2017

@travelingcouple I'm so sorry for af. Ann the hugs, wine and chocolate! I hope this break ends up being good for you, have a blast in Hawaii!! Huge hugs
@beachbunnyxo123 I'm sorry for your AF too. I wish we could all be SS. Yes you should have a baseline US... usually day3-5.... GL this cycle!!!
@businesswife it's so nice to see you here. YKWIM, hooray for taking the step forward with the RE, I know how big this is for you. I really hope there is sperm to harvest and after that a beautiful crop of eggs. I too dream of the day I become a grandparent.... hugs. I am rooting for you

[Deleted User] · April 2017

@BusinessWife Good luck at your appointment! I'm happy that you guys are starting to visualize a path to move forward. It's scary not having any assurances whatsoever, but in the end you will know one way or another. Knowing is better than wondering - every time. I'll be sending you good vibes.

AFM

CD 3 over here so I'm starting birth control today! I'll be on it for a little while to get my cycle on track with my RE's schedule. Because he's the only RE in the office he does all of the ERs one week out of the month. Estimated ER for me, if all goes well, will be first week of June.

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