WTF Wednesday

leighry · April 2017

I didn't see any other wtf thread so I'm reviving this one.

Wtf to my husband and his parents. So his parents live in NY. They haven't come down yet to meet little man. Fine. Whatever. That's their lazy choice. They usually come down in June for our oldest daughters birthday so at this point I figured they will just wait until then. I guess not. They told my husband they want to come in April. I looked at my work schedule and told my husband the ONE weekend that I don't want them coming because it's my weekend to work (which is fri, sat, sun overnight 7p-7a). I don't want them at the house keeping me up and making me feel like I have to spend time with them, nevermind I don't trust them with the kids and my husband regresses to a child himself when they're around and doesn't help me at all.

What weekend did they just tell my husband they're coming??? Yup. That one. Oh my god. NO! And of course my husband doesn't tell them no. I'm so mad. Part of me feels like calling them and telling them they can't come down.

kvruns · April 2017

yuck @leighry did your H communicate that to them ahead of time? Does he have a good relationship with them?

leighry · April 2017

@kvruns yes he did. He has an okay relationship with them.. not bad or anything. His parents are weird.

SandNStarsNJ · April 2017

That is a HUGE WTF @leighry! I'd want to kill everyone leading up to and including that week. Not cool.

MrsMaryK2016 · April 2017

@leighry Why not put your foot down and say no? Just tell your husband no way are they invited that weekend and he needs to reschedule it. Don't let them all steamroll you into agreeing to this visit if you're not comfortable with it.

leighry · April 2017

@MrsMaryK2016 so when my husband told me I said "no. What do You mean? I work that whole weekend... I told you that." And he just responded with "okay." So I think I'll end up having to tell his parents no.. which shouldn't be my job but su-fuckin-prise.. What else is new. I don't care anymore if they get mad.

MrsMaryK2016 · April 2017

@leighry I definitely wouldn't care if they got mad and if they do then fine, don't come and we'll see you in June. But I think if you just say that you're sorry for the mix-up but that's the one weekend that doesn't work for you because you have to work all weekend and is the next weekend good instead then you'll be fine. Even the most unreasonable people can't really argue with that.

camcbeth · April 2017

I am thinking that parents start to get weird when they hit a certain age. Like common sense goes out the window weird. I could see the same shit happening in my house. It's very annoying and I feel your pain @leighry. My husband just had to remind his parents we have two kids. MIL has decided she isn't a baby person and really favors our oldest. So she only seems to remember we have our oldest. What is it with them needing to make a trip for birthdays too? It's a weird obsession. It's not even an ask, it's an announcement they are visiting. So will your in laws come in June too @leighry?

leighry · April 2017

@camcbeth yes they are coming down in June.

But I persisted and prevailed!!! Delayed their visit by a week.

kristah2 · April 2017

@leighry WIN! Way to stick to your guns!!

SandNStarsNJ · April 2017

@leighry "She persisted!" I love it.

MrsMaryK2016 · April 2017

Yes! That's what I like to hear!! You go girl!

lajoliedreamer · April 2017

camcbeth said:

I am thinking that parents start to get weird when they hit a certain age. Like common sense goes out the window weird.
...
What is it with them needing to make a trip for birthdays too? It's a weird obsession. It's not even an ask, it's an announcement they are visiting.

Agreed! I don't know what it is with parents, especially in-laws.

I'm a FTM and somehow I hadn't even considered a birthday visit. But now that you've said it, I know without a doubt that my MIL is likely already assuming she'll be here for E's 1st birthday. Maybe we'll plan a family trip for then so she can't! (Is that b*tchy of me to say??)

leighry · April 2017

@lajoliedreamer no. You're smart! Haha

camcbeth · April 2017

Yes, making a bday trip far in advance is smart. You may need to plan now because those MILs will plan months in advance too.
The whole bday thing only recently got to be a sort of competition. My mom is a teacher and last year her spring break fell in the week of my oldest' birthday. So she made a trip out of it to visit us. Well, about 6 months later MIL says, "I call M's birthday this year because C's mom got to go last year." (Wtf?!? She CALLED it?) Thankfully my awesome husband put an end to that shit real fast and neither grandparent was here for M's birthday, but my mom did visit a few days later during her spring break again.
So again, plan that vacay well in advance because those moms can be tricky.

kristah2 · April 2017

Ugh my MIL is already talking about being here for M's first birthday. Luckily she has a 6 year old son who's birthday is 4 days after M's so it's harder for her to get away.
she's mentioned many times it won't stop her. Lucky me.

rspalding001 · April 2017

Dude my MIL takes the cake on advance planning. She once emailed the family a year in advance for visiting plans. Not only that but she is also the worst about keeping her plans. So after months telling people she will visit she will also cancel and/or reschedule last minute too. its so freaking frustrating.

kvruns · April 2017

@kristah2 your MIL has a 6 y/o? Wow. Of course I always had the old parents and we are now old parents so stuff like that always surprises me

kvruns · April 2017

Guess I'm lucky that my ILs are across the country and I don't think will visit much. They came just after he is born and are coming next month for a few days but that is really just because they decided to go to the east coast and are making a stop here.

SandNStarsNJ · April 2017

Right there with the IL craziness. They just tell us when they're coming. No one ever asks us anything. They loved a few states away a week ago and already told us they will be at our house in Good Friday as well as ODD birthday. She'll be 3 and we've never had a party but they're insisting we will (it is probably time) and they've already RSVPed.

kristah2 · April 2017

@kvruns yup! He is H's half brother! And I have an 8 yr old sister! but that's a bit different because it wasn't my mom, rather my dad and his wife who is pretty young (7 years older then me)
were all about the weird family dynamics.

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