Please let me know if this should go elsewhere; however, I think it's important to have a dedicated thread for this topic, and I'm happy to go first. (Share personal stories, coping strategies, support networks/ideas/contacts).
This is my second baby/girl (1st born Dec 7, 2014) and I am generally a very positive and glass-half-full person. I never thought Postpartum Depression would affect me. But, with my first, I had a precursor to PPD that is called "Adjustment Disorder" - it's basically a difficulty adjusting to my new reality. From my lens, I went from being a career-oriented high achiever (and larger breadwinner), to a stay-at-home mom on maternity leave with a baby. I felt out of control (when I was so used to being in control at work). Why is she crying? Why won't she sleep? What if she poops while we're out? Why isn't the weight coming off faster? Can't I just go to work? Didn't I already do "my part" by being the pregnant one? I am in Canada (for context) so that meant adjusting to a year off work (work that I love); that is a long time to 'lose yourself'.
I only know it was called Adjustment Disorder because I spoke about it and sought support right away. I also took the proactive steps this time around to see someone about it (Psychiatrist), to ensure I'm better prepared this time to deal with the emotions of having another baby and being off work. The steps I took for support were to be open with my OB, who then referred me to the "Reproductive Mental Health" ward/department at my delivery hospital (where I saw the Psych). Other support avenues were my mom (who normally can be 'tough love', but is amazing now as a result of my openness), friends, and drop-in moms groups. I also found it really helpful to find other moms who planned to return to work (since I felt they would know how I felt). All of this really helped me through the emotions I was feeling, and the purpose of me sharing this is to say that support is everywhere, you just have to reach out.
I also wanted to share that this topic is also particularly relevant to me because a woman in my community recently committed suicide 2 months after giving birth to her first child. I did not know her personally, but it seems the pressures of being a mother (with some specifics around the pressures of breastfeeding), were the major contributing factors. I can't help but think: if only she knew how much support she had and that she in fact was doing her best, which was more than 'good enough'. Here is a recent article if you'd like to read it:
https://globalnews.ca/news/3186634/husband-of-florence-leung-releases-emotional-statement-about-ppd-pressure-to-breastfeed/?sf51457637=1Once again, I am thinking that we can use this thread to share personal stories, coping strategies, support networks/ideas/contacts, and generally just be there for each other because having a baby is tough work (physically, emotionally, mentally) and we all deserve some support!
Re: Postpartum Depression - Support Thread
and ate healthy. Slowly I came out of it, but I'm not exactly sure when that was.
I'm scared to death of experiencing PPD again and have been in communication with my OB as well as seeing a therapist to be proactive about it.
Thank you for starting ting this thread. Of course not every mom goes through this, but I'm always checking on my friends and patients because it can be so damned bewildering, debilitating and embarrasing. There needs to be a lot more light on this topic and I'm happy to be of support to anyone who needs it.
I am still on Zoloft. The twins will be 8 in April. I stayed on it with my younger daughter through the whole pregnancy and after, and she was the happiest easiest baby, and I had all the good feelings after she was born. That was when I realized I had PDD from the start of my babies lives. I really wish I had sought help sooner.
I also watch my friends carefully for signs now, and will always encourage people to seek help if I am suspecting they need it.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Hugs to all!
On that topic, I'm going to just go ahead and fold in PPA to this topic, if that's cool with everyone. I suffer from anxiety at the best of times, I'm diagnosed with GAD which I manage with talk therapy and exercise/meditation, but I am VERY worried about developing PPA.
Two other things I wanted to toss into this discussion:
1- Birth trauma/disappointment. I think that can be a big thing in PPA/PPD, but when your expectations for this huge huge event can get thrown off/changed, especially in sometimes unexpected and dramatic ways, that can take an already emotional event and supercharge it. I posted somewhere else that if that happens to you and you need to discuss it, you can PM me at any time. It happened to me, and I have scheduled a few last minute sessions with my therapist to work through it. Don't just chalk it up to "sometimes labour sucks" because, while yes, all labours have extremely unpleasant aspects, there are some things that can really stick with you and damage your long-term mental health.
2 - The Day 3 Baby Blues. I'm personally on Day 4 postpartum. Yesterday was an emotional doozy of a day. That is a totally normal process and it has to do with the hormones that bring your milk in. I would hate to see a bunch of women posting here feeling devastated because they think they've developed PPD because they are sobbing uncontrollably on Day 3. (And not "hate to see it" as in I would judge them, but I would just hate to see a woman think that, because it's almost certainly not the case).
A nurse at Mother/Babe yesterday said something you may find hokey, but she said "Those tears are bringing the milk that will feed your baby, honey. It's okay." (AAaaand the hormones must still be working their magic, because typing that up made me cry again. POST PARTUM EMOTIONS). Please just breathe through it and get through that day* when it happens. It doesn't happen to everyone, but I think something like 70% of women will have some form of it. It's okay. It's not PPD.
*Edit to clarify: day-ish. It's not the kind of thing that is in and out in 24 hours; mine started late-ish on day 2, continued through day 3, and was still making me teary randomly day 5/6, though the teary moments were a lot less frequent.
And thank you for mentioning the labour expectations and Day 4 too. I remember feeling "so strong" after my unexpected c-section the first time...BUT, I had some set backs when others would say comments to me about "how disappointed I must be", which I wasn't (but can imagine how that would feel if I was in fact struggling with that).
thanks for your support. Good to know I'm not alone in my struggles.
Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories. PPD is something I really want to watch out for and this thread is a great idea.
Today was my first day with the LO all day. He hates being put down so it's been mostly sitting on the couch and getting up to change diapers.
I feel like the normal SAD/February blahs can make the postpartum time feel even harder. I've been wanting to bust out my SAD lamp, but they're supposed to be bad for babies, and kiddo is going through a "the only place I am happy is on mom's chest" phase, so that's out too...
My husband has been taking the baby for a half hour or so every day so I can do some journalling and self-care, which has been doing a lot to keep me sane. Having to articulate my thoughts and feelings as I write them out helps me sort through them. That might be a strategy others could use? It's not weather dependent!
Thank you for this thread! I am still pregnant (37 weeks), but I am pretty sure I have antepartum depression. I cry over everything, I feel like I am sucking as a mom to my 4 year old. I had a full blown panic attack the other day in front of him, and just have no patience and have been very snappy. I mentioned it to my Dr last week because I don't want to damage my DS, and also I am afraid it is a precursor to PPD. (I also have a diagnosed history of anxiety and depression previous to pregnancy, and I'm pretty sure I had PPD with my first son, but I never sought help).. She was glad I told her and made a referral to an affiliated behavioral health dr. I am just waiting for them to call and set up an appointment. I feel like there is shame/embarrassment around this type of things, and no one in my life really understands so it's lonely and isolating. It's nice having people who understand to talk to without judgement.
I never sought help last time with DD1 but asked for help right away with this LO because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle having two of them with my PPD. I'm on Zoloft now and it has been really good so far. My husband has even seen an improvement. I feel much less anxious about everything and even though I still get frustrated with DD1s tantrums, I feel like I'm handling it much better than before.
Hugs, and it will all be okay!
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
The kids missed almost the whole week of school (last week when I was in the hospital) from all the snow and H insisted on bringing them all day everyday and as much as I missed them all, it was so damn overwhelming. Now that I'm home I keep getting these shitty panic attacks where I feel like I can't breathe. Just feeling really lonely and isolated too. Anyone still around to talk to?
in the meantime, you could try googling the self care website 'you feel like shit' - the name sounds a little ridiculous, but it walks you through the basics of self care when you're feeling overwhelmed, and it can be a really useful tool for people who need a little bit of support accessing the supports they already have around them.
sorry I have to log off now, but don't forget that the nights are often the hardest, and tonight will end in a few hours. *creepy Internet hugs*
As for me, I called to make an appt with a new therapist today. My mood has been all over the place and after a month on the hospital, two weeks in the nicu, and a month of having to keep baby home 24/7 I'm really feeling the stress. At first I felt really happy about my birth experience but looking back on it now I feel kind of sad. I just need a space to process all of what's happened and try to heal.
I also feel a lot of pressure to ENJOY EVERY MOMENT BECAUSE YOU'LL MISS IT WHEN IT'S GONE THEY'RE ONLY LITTLE ONCE. I know that's true in a way, but in another way this phase sucks. I haven't slept more than 3 consecutive hours in 6 weeks, I'm the heaviest I've ever been, my boobs are perpetually in some sort of discomfort, and sometimes my baby screams for no reason. I do love and enjoy my daughter in ways I never imagined AND I would kill for a full night of sleep. I can feel both at the same time.
Edit: why does if always autocorrect to of
I'm so glad that you booked an appointment with a new therapist today. I hope that's really helpful for you and please know that I can be here for you as well. You have gone through so much with the birth of your little one and when everything happens in such a whirlwind way like that, how are you supposed to be able to process it all? That was so much for you to have gone through. It's almost like once we have even just a minute to take a step back from it all, that's when everything that's happened just hits you like a ton of bricks. I hope the therapist that sees you has some experience in dealing with this sort of thing and can really help you out. Let me know how it goes!
I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I literally laughed out loud when I saw all in caps how you're tired of the phrase enjoy every moment while it lasts, they're only young once type of deal. I couldn't agree more. People adding the pressure on to make sure your cherishing every single moment while simultaneously dealing with all the mood swings and ups and downs of parenting (especially in the postpartum period) is insane. I know people mean well when they say stuff like that and it is true in the grand scheme of things, but when you're right in the thick of it, it just doesn't help to hear shit like that being said. It just makes the emotional roller coaster you're already on seem even more out of control. My if always AutoCorrects to of as well LOL i'm surprised this thing even let me type out this much. It's all whacked out today for some reason.
I know its a mix of genuine sadness and baby blues, hormones, but this week I am so worried about depression spiraling down. I am already having trouble eating and drinking anything. There's not much time for sleep and rest.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17