Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: PGAL check in 2/15
Reintroducing myself for all the new people...I suffered a MMC about 13 years ago, before DH...then when DH and I attempted to start our family I was diagnosed with unexplained infertility and was told by my RE I wouldn't be able to get pregnant without IVF, which we could not afford....3 months after we were told this and after trying unsuccessfully for 3 years we got out our spontaneous BFP
How far along are you?
11 weeks
How are you doing? (Mentally, physically...)
Today I woke up feeling great, but morning sickness hit me late this evening and I haven't been able to eat much...I always feel guilty like I'm Not getting in enough nutrition for the growing baby
mentally I'm doing much better...I breathed a huge sigh of relief during our 11 week ultrasound today when I saw we still had a heartbeat
is your next appointment?
I was released from my RE today and was supposed to be seen by my primary OBGYN for the first time next Tuesday, I called them to reschedule and they said they could get me in wed 2/22...but instead they scheduled me for 3/22 ...UGH so I have to call them back tomorrow...other than that I have my NT scan on 2/23
GTKY: Did you do anything fun for Valentine's Day? What's your favorite holiday?
Honestly didn't do much, just some "quality time" with DH.....Christmas is my favorite holiday
TW:
HSG/FSH/AMH/E2/SA all normal DX: unexplained IF
spontaneous BFP 01/01/2017- Alexander was born sleeping 04/13/2017 at 19w1d ic/chorio
September 2017 HSG #2 & Gonal-F/Femara/Ovidrel/IUI #1 = ep (Salpingectomy of left fallopian tube)
spontaneous BFP 01/02/2018 EDD Aug 30th It's a GIRL!
Cerclage placed on 03/02
@Sugargirl1019 WTAF with this BLOAT?!? I did NOT have this last time. So gassy but nothing happening whahhhh! Are you on Progesterone? Wondering if that's causing it. Just took this awesome pic of my 9w3d blump. And mind you I'm normally UBER flat bellied and 107. Yea not so much now lol. Feel like I'm gaining faster too! Herumfff.
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
@Texafornian Stop flaunting your uber flatness in my chubby face.
ETA: Also, I have lost 10 pounds, but look like I've gained at least that much. My body makes no sense anymore.
the PA is keeping me on it until I see the OB on 2/28.,,I hope she takes me off of it then!!
Ive seriously gotten up to pee like 8x tonight and am listening to hubby snore right now. At my dad's in CO and the altitude/dry air is KILLING me! My nose got stuffy on the plane here so now I'm breathing through my nose and my entire body feels itchy from lack of moisture...I swear the altitude is not helping the bloat!!! Second gripe...my dad and stepmom were basically like "oh, that's nice. I guess congrats are in order" when I told them I was pregnant...whomp whomp lol
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
ETA: Also, I have lost 10 pounds, but look like I've gained at least that much. My body makes no sense anymore.
^^Thissssssss. I'm down about 5 pounds, but am measuring about 2" more (at belly button). So much bloat. So much gas that isn't going anywhere.
side note...woke up this morning and totally realized I forgot to take my Progesterone last night...ugh. Panicked for about 5 minutes, then just said eff it don't forget again.
ETA: i haven't felt this "good" in a while...uggh still have like 4 more weeks of taking the progesterone tho...
Also, my stomach muscles already feel tight and stretchy when I sneeze or yawn.
I put on 38 lbs with DD but at this rate...oy lol
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
How far along are you? 8w3d
How are you doing? (Mentally, physically...) anxious but hopeful. Boobs are sore and I get really nauseous at night
When is your next appointment? 22nd. I have an ultrasound that day. I am anxious to have another one. I feel like I will feel better if I see the little one again
Rant/Rave/Questions? This is the longest freaken week ever. Can't wait for this weekend to get here.
GTKY: Did you do anything fun for Valentine's Day? What's your favorite holiday? Nothing really fun just watched some tv. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday
Me: 30 | DH: 31
Met: August 2006
Married: July 2012
TTC #1 since June 2016
***TW***
BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17
MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
I take Cerefolin NAC which is a methylated folate...already done for me so my body can then absorb it. I take it along with my prenatal, 2 omegas and a magnesium.
So far this doc hasn't even mentioned my MTHFR and my last OB noted it but didn't do anything different.
I found out when I did a blood workup to find out why I kept getting sick...the panel showed an intolerance to gluten, allergy to soy and the MTHFR. My FIL is a doc and was the one who had me do the labs...he's the one who told me I needed to get on a methylated folic acid.
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
Just wanted to give you guys an update. Still recovering post d&c but I did get an appointment with my new doctor. They're over an hour away (and their associated hospital is also over an hour away) but their staff is far more competent and caring. They are also a full OB/GYN practice which includes three MFM specialists and all doctors work together as needed for a patients treatment plan. The exact words of the scheduler were "Let's get you in, establish care, review your history and set your treatment plan so we can get you on your way to your rainbow baby." That right there is a HUGE change in attitude over my current doctors office.
One thing I've learned about this: do not be afraid to speak up and find a new doctor. You have to be your own advocate. And if your current doctor is dismissive or their staff is incompetent and you are not comfortable that they are doing everything to properly treat you, then find someone who will. Yes, downside is we'll be in a hospital an hour away when we do have our rainbow and will most likely have to do a repeat c-section as opposed to VBAC but I'll take that as the trade off of being treated by those I trust.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
@rainafire77 I'm so glad to hear that! FX for your rainbow to shine soon
Married to David 3/22/14
Started TTC again October 2016
BFP on 1/6/17!
You definitely need a baby aspirin daily, and depending on your physician will decide if you need Lovenox shots or not. I do not take Lovenox. There are different thoughts about how to handle 1298C. I was told I didn't need different vitamins and I'm like uh yea right bye.
Type 1 Diabetes since 2001, MTHFR hetero A1298T
Dogs: Raider 4 yrs, Dex 4 yrs
BFP #2 7/6/16 SCH, D&C 8/4/16
BFP #3 12/26/16 EDD: 9/6/17
My Chart / My Diabetes/Pregnancy Blog
My Type 1/TTC/Pregnancy Podcast:
Juicebox Podcast Episode 118
A1Cs:
1/12/16 6.7%
5/25/16 6.0%
11/2/16 6.1%
3/22/16 5.8%
4/27/17 5.4%
6/13/17 5.3%
"Sugar Fancy Tutu"
Me: 30 | DH: 31
Met: August 2006
Married: July 2012
TTC #1 since June 2016
***TW***
BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17
MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
Sorry I've been MIA this week -- it's already Saturday so I'll wait until the next thread (plus there's nothing much to report). Read all the posts, though, and happy that we're all inching closer and closer to the 2nd tri!
But I'm so happy to see some good news for you, @rainafire77! Your new doctor's office sounds amazing! I had tears in my eyes when I read your update. Best of luck to you and your rainbow-baby-to-be!
I'm currently in the middle of Jacqueline Carey's Kushiel series, as embarrassing as that is to admit. It's a mix of legit fantasy and trashy romance, which often makes me laugh or roll my eyes, but the story is captivating enough that I can't put it down! I can relate to your lack of focus, but this one actually keeps me awake and cuts into my precious sleep time!
And yeah, having MILs around for that length of time always comes with a high risk of backfire, but it's definitely better this way for our little man. He'd be so bored this week without her.
I've been on a "greatest hits" revival tour for the last couple years. I reread almost everything by Anne Rice, then Stephen King's Gunslinger series, then Goodkind's Sword of Truth series. Now I'm slowly working my way through the Wheel of Time series again. I gave up after I think book 7 last time (just too many characters to follow, and too long between "seeing" my favorites). I almost feel like I don't have the energy to invest myself with more characters, and that's what is bringing me back.
Been lurking for a while, to scared to say anything
How far along are you?
11 weeks 5 days
How are you doing? (Mentally, physically...)
I had an anxiety attack today on the way to the midwives office. I ugly cried all the way there. I was afraid, still am. When they tried to find the heartbeat, my heart was pounding so hard they couldn't find it. Which scared me even more. She said we should go to ultrasound and then she found it just like that. My baby had a beating heart!!
So how am I doing? I think the correct term is Hot mess lol but today I'm happy, thankful, and blessed
When is your next appointment?
March
Rant/Rave/Questions?
I never know what to say when people ask me how many kids I have. I don't want to discredit my loss but I also don't want to explain. Andplusalso I'm socially awkward so usually my words just jumble and I walk away, leaving people dumbfounded. Anyone else?
GTKY: Did you do anything fun for Valentine's Day? What's your favorite holiday?
We did a homeschool Valentines party and ate a bunch of sugar. But no romantic night out this year. My favorite holiday is Easter.
**TW**
Losses:
#1: 8wks MMC 4/16
#2: 13+4 T21 + Hydrops 3/17
How far along are you? 12 weeks 2 days
How are you doing? mentally I am so much better considering I went to doctor last week and saw our baby & know that everything is going good !
When is your next appointment? March 16th
Rant/Rave/Questions? I JUST WANNA POOP
We have been pretty open about our past loss, but I'm really not sure how I'll handle it when we have a living child and people ask "how many?" I imagine I'll do the same sort of thing, "I have a son/daughter named XX" and avoid the number OR say "## living" or "## living and one lost before birth" or something like that.
TBH lying and saying "1" as a child who lost a sibling was hard sometimes, but I can't imagine making myself lie and pretending my LO never existed as a mother now, but I also probably won't want to talk about it to everyone in my future who will ever ask me how many kids I have, so I can totally understand where that question came from.
@laceyc1020 sorry they used such escalating language like preterm labour. That must have thrown you for a loop! I do hope it's just the SCH resolving itself and you won't have any more bleeding or spotting to mess with your PGAL mind
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019