Thinking it's about time to start a thread about the good old topic of breastfeeding! There was another post floating around for STMs who exclusively pumped (sometimes shortened to EP, for the newbies) last time, but I thought it was a good idea to get one big thread going for people to ask questions, share their experiences, etc...
Re: Breastfeeding--Comments, Questions, Thoughts...
Here's my question: should you pump before baby comes out (i.e. last week before EDD or a few days before) to a) get used to the pump, how it works, how it feels and b) help get your milk to come in?
I can't wait to read all the STM's tips, tricks, and advice. I'm a FTM craving insight. (Everyone says BF is hard and be prepared for it to not work. Any success stories??)
My plan is to BF and start pumping during my leave. Once I go back to work I am hoping to still do both.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
I highly recommend requesting a lactation consultant while in the hospital. I already felt comfortable nursing DS2 because I had so much help in the NICU with DS1. However, if I had not asked for an LC with DS2, they never would have offered. I stayed in the hospital for 5 days because of c-section. However, with a vaginal delivery you will likely stay less time in the hospital. Take advantage of all the resources while you are there not having to worry about anything else.
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Aside from the mechanics of my story, I want to stress to all FTM mamas who are planning to BF that making this decision before the baby comes is NOT the same as deciding something like cloth vs. disposable diapers. You should obviously go into it with an idea of what you want to do, but if it doesn't work out the way you had planned, do NOT beat yourself up over it (way easier said than done, trust me). The hormones your body is dealing with on top of the lack of sleep could possibly make the situation feel dire and incredibly stressful. Just remember that a happy mom is far more important than a baby who is formula free. I can specifically remember a middle of the night instance around 4 weeks where I just totally broke down in tears because I felt like the first 4 weeks of my son's life were gone and all I could remember was the feeding and the struggles. It was heartbreaking and I hope to not repeat that this go around. I know that BF works really well for some mamas (even after initial struggles!) and I sincerely hope that each of you have a fabulous experience with it, but also want everyone to be prepared in case it doesn't work out as planned!
STM with a three week old. We started breastfeeding about five minutes after this one was born. She latched beautifully and had a "vacuum suck", as the pediatricians said. The beginning is hard because it hurts. Your nipples are not used to that kind of attention and will get sore. Invest in Lanolin cream and use it before it starts hurting. You may experience cracking or other nipple damage. This is usually a sign of a bad latch so as PP said, definitely take advantage of the LC while you have them.
One of my nipples ended up cracking a little this time because of that super sucking. I rested the nipple with gel soothie pads and solely pumped on that side while LO nursed the other side until it healed. I now have no issues and no pain. After the initial shock to your nipples, BF should NOT hurt.
I would recommend not pumping until after LO gets here. While you wouldn't "run out" of colostrum, it would be a waste of time. Your milk won't come in until usually a few days after LO is born and no amount of pumping beforehand will change that.
Electric pumps are pretty straight forward. Put the shields on and turn it on. They usually have a "let down" button that you push if your let down (milk starts flowing) sooner than what the pump is programed for.
Sorry for the novel! Don't let others discourage you. BF is hard because it takes a lot of persistence and work in the beginning to get your supply established. Both you and LO have to learn how to BF so don't give up! But on the flip side, if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, fed is what's best. I could not BF with my first and she is currently a happy, healthy five year old.
ETA: Water will be your best friend. The more water you drink, the more milk you make. You'll need a minimum of three liters a day to be adequately hydrated.
DD2: EDD 1/16/17 - Born 1/12/17 at 39w3d
@jayandaplus , I've never heard of pumping before the baby comes--I'm not sure what the benefit would be. The pumping part is really easy--it doesn't take long to get the hang of it.
@nda_roxybabe a class prior is helpful to an extent. I feel you can get as much info in a book if that is your thing Ida May has a fantastic bf book i highly recommend. There are post partum classes that I think are more beneficial since you'll have your real live baby with you. LC in hospital is helpful but sometimes its better to have an LC who will come to your home for you and show you techniques in the house. I had someone say on the STM EP thread that all the tricks they showed while you are in your bed at the hospital worked at the hospital but did not help at home.
I think @Kipperoo made the most valuable point; go into it with an open mind and try to be as stress free as possible about it. I went into breastfeeding DD1 as "if it works, wonderful! But if not, she will still be perfectly healthy on formula". I have a neighbor who had her first child two months ago. She was SO stressed about breastfeeding. Her milk supply didn't come in right away, baby wasn't latching properly and it just wasn't working. Her husband kept pressuring her that she HAD to breastfeed, formula was bad and baby ended up loosing way too much weight by her 1 month appointment and had to be admitted to the hospital.
I tell all of my friends that if you can get past the first few weeks of breastfeeding, then it's smooth sailing after that. Engorgement is no joke. It hurts, and it's uncomfortable. Nipple pain is the worst. No matter how much lanolin I used, I was literally cringing everytime baby latched for the first week or so.
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I would say it took me a solid 6 months to figure out the hang of things and no longer have issues.
I had some latching trouble and I used a nipple shield the entire 13 months I breast fed although its usually not recommended. I had no problems with it and it worked for us.
I think its important for people to prepare themselves that for some breastfeeding is easy and for some it's really a challenge. If it doesn't work out the way you wanted to than it's ok, your not a failure. Also, there is no harm in having a back up plan. Like I mentioned in another thread, my plan is to BF again but I'm researching formulas just incase it doesn't work out for me this time. I would rather have all of the information ahead of time and have some formula in my pantry just incase. When you are sleep deprived, your entire body is sore, you have a screaming hungry baby... its very stressful and giving yourself options is necessary.
Also, its very important to keep all of your nipple shields/pumping parts extremely clean. I soaked all of my parts nightly in hot soapy water and then used my sterilizer. If your using reusable nursing pads, they should be washed in hot water with bleach. I got ductal thrush and learned my lesson.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
I would recommend a class for you and your DH. It was helpful to explain the various holds, techniques, and feeding times. It was helpful to DH to understand what I would be going through and provide support where he could. (i.e. bring me water the second the kid latches on..) I also recommend asking to see the LC before you are discharged just to make sure the latch is ok, etc.
My best recommendation is to keep some of the gel soothie pads in the fridge. They will feel amazing those first few days. Also, be prepared to feed on demand for a few months. DD wouldn't take a pacifier and treated my breasts as a pacifier. Between that and cluster feeding, it felt like I was constantly nursing.
Finally, pumping sucks (see what I did there? I'm sure no one has ever made that joke before). If you are working, it's a constant battle of making enough milk to bottle feed your kid while you're at work. I honestly thought that was one of the hardest parts of bf'ing. I had to start supplementing with formula when DD was 11 months, 1 week. Honestly, I should have done it way earlier for peace of mind.
ETA: overuse of the word "honestly." Oops!
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
May '17 labor memes
Sweet Baby H 12.21.11
Sassy Baby P 03.26.14
Little Brother Due 05.22.17
My advice-
Take a class if you can. I took one through WIC that was so helpful! I think WIC offers them even if you don't receive WIC.
Get a good pump. Even if you plan to stay home, you never know when you're going to need to pump for whatever reason. I also like having a small stash of 20-30 Oz in case I'm away from my babies due to an emergency for a couple of hours. You do not need a bigger stash unless you intend to be away longer.
Don't worry if it takes your milk a few days to come in, that's normal. Stress can really affect milk production, so stressing about milk coming in is counterintuative. Instead, nurse, nurse, and nurse some more. Every 2 hours is best in the beginning, even if you have to wake the baby to nurse.
Get Netflix and Hulu or Amazon Prime video. Pick a series you've always wanted to watch but never had the time to. It takes 20-30 minutes to nurse some newborns PER SIDE! Plus 10 minutes of burping. That's a whole hour that you are just sitting get there. I watched all of Lost and Dexter in the first month of my kids life. Yes, nursing is great for bonding, but half the time it's mind numbingly boring, especially at 2AM.
Don't stress if you feel like you have a low supply. Our bodies are designed to adjust to the baby's needs if you don't interfere with it too much. But things like colds and mastitis can affect supply. Try figuring out early what helps you produce. Fenugreek did nothing for me, but a can of Guinness at dinner had me engorged in minutes! Everyone is different. Also pay attention if anything causes a supply drop and avoid it (hard alcohol can).
Don't feel bad if you need to use nipple shields or supplement for low gain. I have tiny, tiny nipple and neither of my kids could nurse without shields. It also saved my boobs a lot of pain and discomfort and didn't affect my supply. I was able to get rid of them after 2 months both times when their little muscles got more developed.
Don't feel bad if you can't breastfeed or choose to stop. I always encourage you go 8 weeks, if you can, as it does get a lot easier after that for many. But if you can't or don't want to, that's OK! Breastfeeding is great but not the only option. If you're experiencing PPD and dread a nursing session or are getting so stressed over a low supply that you are in tears half the time, it's not worth it.
B born 7/15/13, C born 3/2/15, #3 on the way May '17
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond! I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
If you plan on breastfeeding, do get a pump ahead of time if possible (should still be free under ACA). However, it's ok to get one just after delivery if necessary. I would not put this off, though, like if you think "well I'm a SAHM so I won't need one for a while." You might need one immediately to get your baby more milk if s/he is having trouble breastfeeding. But you can wait until the hospital discharge if needed--they'll have an opinion on this (e.g. if the kid loses a lot of weight, etc.) Still, if it's possible to get a pump beforehand, do it. Personally, when my milk comes in a few days after delivery, it FLOODS in and there's no way a baby will be able to provide comfort, especially not a newborn with a stomach the size of a bouncy ball. The pump helps with relief, though don't go overboard -- you don't want to end up with oversupply.
Do not pump before delivery. There is no point. You can open your pump and see how it works if you like but don't actually pump and it can induce labor (I guess you can do this if you're overdue, but I wouldn't even do it before 40 weeks, no matter how impatient you are.)
Take a class and read a book. Get all of the information. For this there is no such thing as too much information because you can't anticipate what your particular issues will be. At the hospital, ask every nurse, not just the lactation consultant, for help with breastfeeding. Don't decline ANY help. You might get one visit from the LC but you will be breastfeeding a lot more times than that at the hospital. Also don't be shy of using their pump if it is offered and the baby is not really feeding like a champ. It is ok for the baby to take a bottle while practicing on the breast. It really is. Also at the hospital, take anything and everything offered to you that provides breast comfort, like soothies (the BEST), lanolin, etc. Take as many as they let you take.
Join a breastfeeding support group that meets weekly. Your hospital might direct you to one. If they don't, find one, or LLL or something. These are so great for mental health, meeting moms, and getting more breastfeeding tips. Unless the people in your group are complete a-holes, you can keep going if breastfeeding doesn't work out and you are formula feeding.
As others said, don't let it get to you if it doesn't work out for you. It will likely be pretty crappy (painful, stressful, taking a long time, etc) in the first few weeks for everyone. But you should know quickly from your support group and other sources whether you are in the "average crappy" situation which is bound to get better shortly, or if you have some special problems that either need intervention (e.g. baby gets surgery for tongue tie) or argue towards quitting altogether (e.g. recurring bouts of mastitis, extremely low supply--though you could at least just supplement instead, etc.) IT IS OK TO QUIT! There is really nothing wrong with formula. If breastfeeding is such a nightmare, then formula is actually better for your baby than continuing to breastfeed--baby needs you to be somewhat rested and not depressed. I think it's worth some work in the beginning, but there is no need to persist in the face of so much struggle. Three months in you should have a good idea of whether to stick with it or give it up. And you can always do something in between, especially if supply or difficulty of pumping at work are your problems.
it seems like PPs have covered everything else I could think of!
I hear people say to go to a class but I know if I go, it will just be me, I won't be able to get DH to go.
So can anyone tell me what I might learn at a class?
I also recommend meeting with a LC at your hospital while you're there after birth just for reassurance and to check latch if there's one available and if you have a La Leche League group or something similar in your area, it's a wonderful place to go after you are discharged from the hospital. They usually have monthly or more frequent meetings. You can meet some people IRL that can help support you and are wonderful resources. It was the first place I took DD after she was born and it was so great because it was just a bunch of moms who didn't care when I had no idea why my baby was crying or if I had "FTM" questions that I was self-conscious about asking.
For me, the first 6 weeks were the most challenging and then it was smooth sailing for the most part after that. Finding a support group and a super awesome LC was key for me.
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
@Jen_Shoes - My DH was also hesitant about going to the BF class, thinking he'd be the only guy there. There were about 20 women there, and all except 2 had their partners with them. My DH, who didn't know much about BF beforehand, learned so much and would pretty much tell anyone who would listen how awesome boobs are (which, let's be real, they are) and would spout of random facts about breast milk. I'd encourage your DH to go if possible, as it really is a team endeavor, and you'll want his support once the kid is here. It's certainly not the end of the world if he can't go, just something to consider. As far as what we learned, the class covered the benefits of breastfeeding, the mechanics of how a breast makes milk, the different components of breast milk and their functions, we practiced various holds (we had boppies and baby dolls to practice with), got an overview of issues we may encounter and what to do about them, and learned about the different resources available through the hospital (the class was taught by the hospital). I'm sure I'm missing something, it was a fairly comprehensive class, but that's all I can think of for now
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
I used my breast pump before delivery.. I was overdue and desperate... If you want to try it go ahead (if your overdue) but I don't think it did anything for me. Colostrum did not come out either.
If your planning to pump, get a hands free bra. It was truly life changing! I have the lansinoh simple wishes and its perfect, you can adjust it as you get smaller/bigger.
I third the lansinoh perle therapy. They are a must have. I used them constantly the first couple weeks and then I every time I had a clogged duct. When they are warmed up they really help with the pain.
If your planning to use a pump I suggest getting multiple sets of pump parts. It's so much better to wash everything once a day opposed to several times a day.
Also... just wanted to mention... at first your nipples may bleed when breastfeeding. One morning I noticed blood all over my baby's pajamas from the night before and I was panicking thinking somehow he cut his mouth until I realized that it was from me.
And also second the recommendations to pick a good series or two to binge watch--I watched every episode of Gilmore Girls (all seasons) on my last leave thanks to nursing. And spent many nights watching movies with DH while nursing. I'm thinking about getting a couple of trash magazine subscriptions (the weekly ones like US weekly) just to add a little diversity to the mix. It's A LOT of downtime.
Definitely consider buying a nursing pillow, too. At least for me, it was nice to be able to rest him on the boppy while feeding him vs having to use my arms. Left me free to eat snacks, read a book, look at my phone, whatever.
BFing was hard for us the first couple month. We had trouble getting a proper latch the first day, that my nips were already bleeding just hours after birth. She did eventually nurse like a champ and loved nursing alllll the time. I probably cried more than she did because it hurt and I have low pain tolerance. Plus I got mastitis twice during the first two months, including my birthday weekend. Fortunately we had a nurse line that we could call and they were able to prescribe a prescription for DH to pick up without me being seen (after answering several questions). It wasn't until close to 2 months when I could just pop DD on without a problem. I also started adding soy lecithin to my diet by then to prevent mastitis again, but it's hard to say if that's what helped or a more established nursing relationship. Either way I will start from the get go this time to play it safe. She eventually weaned fully around 16 months and never looked back.
I suggest educating yourself on the following:
- Tongue and lip ties. Google images to start, be familiar with what they looks like. A few moms in my last BMB had mentioned tongue tie before our LOs were born so I looked into it. I saw DD had a tongue tie as soon I met her and because BFing was hurting so much to start, I really had advocate for them to get it clipped. I could feel a difference in the latch once they finally agreed to clip. Some places can be very well a tongue tie won't affect the latch. We didn't know about lip ties until later, and she had a mild one. We got that clipped around 5 weeks but it's hard to tell if really made a difference.
- Proper techniques. There are certain ways to pop in the nipple into the LO's mouth to make it more comfortable as well how to position the baby (cradle, football, side lying, etc). I learned some through a BF class, plus YouTube videos. I remember learning about different positions to nurse the baby but I found I only liked one position best.
- Kellymom.com is chockfull of all things related to breastfeeding/breastmilk. I learned a lot about proper milk storage, milk ducts (ouch), and more.
- Nipple shields if you rely on them all the time, it can be difficult to wean the LO (from what I heard from my last BMB) I used them in moderation the first couple months, especially when I was engorged. I thought it was easier for DD to latch and nurse for a minute then I would take the shield off when I got a bit softer and she would continue.
- Nursing time. There is so much variety! Mine nursed 15 minutes each side every 1.5-2 hours early on. It was.. excessive. Netflix was my best friend and Gilmore Girl had just come out so I binged through it the first month.. I had to eventually accept it was okay, while knowing some others would just nurse 10-15 minutes total one side only then switch side a couple hours later. Do what works for you.
- Weighted feeding/LC. Take advantage of this if you can. I was really stressed out about how much she was getting so I went 2-3x the first couple weeks. I learned it's very normal to produce more milk on one side (I remember vividly one side was 7oz and the other was 4oz?) Knowing how much she was getting and that it was enough helped.
- Soothing things. Lasinoh lanolin helped some, but those gel pads were heavenly! especially after refrigeration. I only found out about this through a very nice nurse who saw how much pain I was in already. They had them at the pharmacy which was SO nice. When my BFF had her May16 baby, I told her to take advantage but they didn't even offer it. I ended up ordering one for her via Amazon and she was incredibly grateful. Here is one that could be ordered: https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-Soothies-Breastfeeding-Mothers-Count/dp/B002KGHUL4/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486146986&sr=8-1&keywords=soothing%2Bgel%2Bpad%2Bnursing&th=1
- Supply control. I didn't really take advantage of anything to keep my supply up. I just made sure to snack frequently especially while nursing and to maintain my water intake. I was always hungry everytime I nursed anyways, so it was helpful to have a big jar of nuts nearby and other protein snacks as well as a few bottles of water (especially in the MOTN when DH is asleep and can't help fetch something for you). Other moms did fenugreek, oatmeal, lactation cookies and more.
I can't think of anything else at the moment
I am also big on "breast is not always best" my breast milk was lower calorie than the average and since DD was FTT that was an issue.
I am planning on pumping one side while baby eats on the other (who knows how well that will work though)
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
1. Take a class. I didn't until my 2nd child and even with the experience I had I found it helpful and was able to ask questions I wouldn't have thought of before.
2. Ask for LC at the hospital and utilize them as much ad possible. Oh, and join any groups they might offer during baby's first few weeks.
3. The best advice I got during my bf class was that the latch should never cause actual pain (discomfort is normal) and if it does, you need to latch and keep relatching. I took this advice and there were times when I had to take DD off 4-6 times before we got a non painful latch but with her, I never even needed lanolin. Of course there are exceptions, like if baby has tongue-tie but my experience with DD was so much better than with DS for this alone. That's why I think a class, book, and LC can be so helpful -- they train on latching which can prove to be a big challenge in the beginning.
4. I have been the the mom that rarely got engorged, never even felt her milk come in, and didn't need pads from leaking because that just didn't happen. All these things made me think I might have a supply issue and at 10 days old I started supplementing 2-3 oz a day, which made me feel defeated. I didn't understand that I just had a very slow let down and that's why it took my baby over an hour to feed the first few weeks. I didn't realize my mistake until I had DD and I pumped to help my supply and ended up with a pretty nice fridge supply. My advice from this: be patient with your body and trust it; know that even with that sometimes things don't work out and it is okay. Baby will be fine if you feed them, whether it's bm or formula. And lastly, I can't stress enough educating yourself so that you are as prepared as possible.
5. Kellymom.com is an amazing resource for breastfeeding, pumping, etc. It addresses just about any question/challenge you can come across with.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
MoMs- Tell me all you can about nursing twins! I have a nursing pillow for twins but I am wondering what was easiest... putting them both on at once? Did you switch mid session or switch for the next session? Did your supply keep up with them? What if they don't want to eat at the same time?!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
gel pads these can be hot or cold they can be put around your pump parts or in your bra to help soothe or help work out clogs - https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-TheraPearl-Breast-Therapy-Count/dp/B0070767DU/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486145064&sr=8-3&keywords=lansinoh+soothies+gel+pads&th=1
These pads are reusable and help with nipple pain LC gave me a ton - https://www.amazon.com/Medela-Tender-Care-Hydrogel-Pads/dp/B0011ECPA2/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486145100&sr=8-2&keywords=hydrogel+breastfeeding+pad
my favorite nipple balm no lanolin (at first)- just straight lanolin is very thick and was not pleasant for me. I actually preferred to use breast milk expressed and then rubbed on and air dried (google it trust me) or coconut oil yeah its hippy dippy but it is a healthy fat that is ok for your child to put to their lips, think about what balms you are putting into their mouths also it is anti inflammatory which will help with nipple pain. https://www.amazon.com/Earth-Mama-Angel-Baby-Natural/dp/B000JVCBBG/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486145123&sr=8-2&keywords=earth+baby+angel+mama&th=1
coconut oil https://www.amazon.com/Natures-Way-Organic-Coconut-32-Ounce/dp/B003OGKCDC/ref=sr_1_5_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1486145415&sr=8-5&keywords=coconut+oil+organic&th=1
rice sock was great to get into small areas https://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Rice-Sock