Weekly Randoms - week of 1/30 (Take 2)

jess0211 · February 2017

@adirat if I am going to do crazy, and I am not saying I am, but...I might as well do it right!

feeislove · February 2017

@kiwi2628 I'm glad your kitty is out of surgery and is doing ok. I know I was a nervous wreck when my dog went in for surgery (she got fixed by at an advanced age because she would not come out of heat). Bet you took a big breath of relief when you got the call.

@jess0211 tell us the crazy ideas. You know. If you want. Didn't mean to make that sound like an order

lund · February 2017

Guys, DH is staying out of town tonight, so I have a date with my PJs, my DVR, and a bottle of merlot. I'm EXCITED.

And we'll do something awesome for our anniversary another day

lulu1180 · February 2017

I got this from the app I ordered dinner from tonight (yay Chinese takeout!).....it totally means that I'm going to be KTFU this cycle. Right? Right?? Lol sorry for pic size on mobile

jess0211 · February 2017

@feeislove lol! Well the turkey baster was definitely mentioned, though after I told him what @adirat said he is now insisting on bringing home a sterile syringe from work. I am a little concerned that what started as a joke convo with DH is now turning serious for him..lol if I am KTFU next month I feel like I will owe you all an explanation!

adirat · February 2017

@jess0211 Girl we will be so thrilled for you getting KU we won't tell anyone about the syringe

Just use your powers for good and don't go post on babycenter about how you used a syringe and a baking soda finger to get your bfp!

hartmich · February 2017

Am I losing it or did the post get deleted about advice for early testing? And if it did... why?

LoveInDC · February 2017

@hartmich - It did. @Tennis11785 tagged me and I can't follow the notification. I can only imagine OP contacted the mods and asked. I can't keep up with the rules on this forum. When do threads get deleted v. closed?

sheknows6 · February 2017

Color me confused too @hartmich & @LoveInDC

What's the deal BG's? I thought we left those types of threads up so people can learn from them. If they're just going to delete things at random, what's the point?

Tennis11785 · February 2017

@LoveinDC - I was saying that Ryan's face if the GIF in your siggy is exactly how I feel about that thread.

aggo · February 2017

This is pretty random and kind of a weird question, but it's something I want to ask before I do something stupid and hurtful. If, for some reason, I am the special snowflake that I'm really praying I am (and praying for all of you as well), should I bother posting in the TTGP grad group? It's my first cycle trying and while I've been active on the board, I don't know if it's appropriate to post or better to just quietly move to BMB. That being said I'm only 6 DPO and don't have symptoms or anything, just hope. For all I know I'll be back here next cycle.

I hope this question isn't annoying either, just doing my best to be sensitive to everyone's feelings!

lulu1180 · February 2017

@ag90 That's a really tough question. I've seen 1/1ers that happily post in the grad thread and also ones that have quietly moved on to their BMB (which I only knew about because I was lurking). Sometimes those of us that have been trying for months get a huge pang of jealousy and have a difficult time seeing that post from someone like that but at the same time we are happy to see anyone get their BFP because we don't want to see others go through the mental anguish that we go through on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. If you feel that you have been a frequent enough poster that others would want to know you got your BFP then please do post (if you are indeed that SS). I know that you've posted frequently enough that I recognize your name and looking at your history I wouldn't be (too) annoyed if you posted in the grad thread.

I'm not sure if this helps you or not but it's my jumbled thoughts on the issue!

aggo · February 2017

Thanks @lulu1180 that's very helpful. I think to be courteous to others I'd just quietly move. This is a great community and not one I'd want to inadvertently upset

FX for everyone, always.

eggplantface · February 2017

ag90 said:

This is pretty random and kind of a weird question, but it's something I want to ask before I do something stupid and hurtful. If, for some reason, I am the special snowflake that I'm really praying I am (and praying for all of you as well), should I bother posting in the TTGP grad group? It's my first cycle trying and while I've been active on the board, I don't know if it's appropriate to post or better to just quietly move to BMB. That being said I'm only 6 DPO and don't have symptoms or anything, just hope. For all I know I'll be back here next cycle.

I hope this question isn't annoying either, just doing my best to be sensitive to everyone's feelings!

It's really nice of you to ask! I admit, I get jealous of 1/1ers and 2/2ers pretty much no matter what. Especially if they mention how stressful or hard it was. That's a big ol' eye roll from me. But whether I consider it OK to be posting depends on participation. If you only joined in your first TWW and posted daily but ONLY in TWW or didn't interact with other members, yeah, I'd be pissed at a grad post. But if you were here at least a little longer than TWW and posted in other threads besides the WTO/TWW so I that I felt you truly tried to get to know other people here and participate, then, well, I'd still be jealous, but I'd approve of a grad post.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

ag90 said:

This is pretty random and kind of a weird question, but it's something I want to ask before I do something stupid and hurtful. If, for some reason, I am the special snowflake that I'm really praying I am (and praying for all of you as well), should I bother posting in the TTGP grad group? It's my first cycle trying and while I've been active on the board, I don't know if it's appropriate to post or better to just quietly move to BMB. That being said I'm only 6 DPO and don't have symptoms or anything, just hope. For all I know I'll be back here next cycle.

I hope this question isn't annoying either, just doing my best to be sensitive to everyone's feelings!

I have been wondering this as well. If my FET is successful...

jess0211 · February 2017

Guys! I just found out I can use my FSA funds to pay for pregnancy tests! WHA!?!?! This is not going to help my POAS addiction.

BertieMeetsGertie · February 2017

@heatherdubrow I would love to see your post in the grad thread! You've been super active for the time that you've been here. We would certainly miss you.

hartmich · February 2017

@heatherdubrow I think we're all anxiously waiting for Baby Dubrow!

Plus you have been a great support around here.

@ag90 I think @eggplantface said it all well. Try to ask yourself "would someone notice my absence?" and if the answer is probably yes, I say go for the post. That said, I definitely recognize your name!

sheknows6 · February 2017

ag90 said:

Thanks @lulu1180 that's very helpful. I think to be courteous to others I'd just quietly move. This is a great community and not one I'd want to inadvertently upset FX for everyone, always.

STUCK IN THE BOX

This is by no means whatsoever a guideline, just my personal experience. I only recently (as of December honestly) have felt like I should post in the grad thread if/when I get my BFP, and I have been active here since October. I felt that way because for me, it took at least 2 cycles of active participation (posting daily in WTO/TWW, participating in the Random/UO/FFFC/TW etc threads) to really get to know these ladies and to be able to offer them the same support that they've offered me.

I think that if you're unsure, that would be your answer. I know for myself, I didn't feel sure until recently, as I'm now confident people know me well enough to be invested in my outcome. That's not to imply they wouldn't be excited for 1/1'ers or 2/2'ers, but as a resident for 6/5 and seeing so many ladies here for so much longer, I know that sting only grows each month we don't get a BFP. I hope that makes sense, and again, this is just my personal feelings on it.

hartmich · February 2017

Ok I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer or cause panic etc... but I just got this in an email from my RE's office and I'm like wtf I've never seen the numbers look like this before BUT I want to question the source (also listed below). It's from 1982 so it's likely outdated, right? RIGHT?!

Image: https://www.shadygrovefertility.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/Graph.jpg

Figure 1: Adapted from Hendershot GE, et.al., Infertility and age: an unresolved issue. Family Planning Perspectives. Vol,14;5 (Sept./Oct 1982), p. 288 Ó The Alan Guttmacher Institute.

sheknows6 · February 2017

@hartmich Are these numbers quoted representative of women who don't have IF, or is this for women they help in their practice? Or my god, women of either scenarios in those age ranges?

Ouch. o_0

lund · February 2017

hartmich said:

Ok I am not trying to be a Debbie Downer or cause panic etc... but I just got this in an email from my RE's office and I'm like wtf I've never seen the numbers look like this before BUT I want to question the source (also listed below). It's from 1982 so it's likely outdated, right? RIGHT?!

Figure 1: Adapted from Hendershot GE, et.al., Infertility and age: an unresolved issue. Family Planning Perspectives. Vol,14;5 (Sept./Oct 1982), p. 288 Ó The Alan Guttmacher Institute.

hartmich · February 2017

@sheknows6 they're saying this is for the general population. SO I just realized, maybe they're using this to get people to want to use them... so it's a marketing technique. RIGHT?!

sheknows6 · February 2017

@hartmich I wouldn't trust that. The numbers are 35 years old, and I would like to think the number of BFP's in the 25-34 range has got to be higher than 78% & 63%.....I think you're right and that's a marketing ploy, especially when we're all told it can take up to a year for a totally healthy couple to conceive.

Those statistics must have changed from 1982 to now, with the advances in modern medicine and overall life expectancy and health improvements.

LoveInDC · February 2017

Here's a better link for everyone, though they don't exactly cite a study. ETA: The numbers are from 2013 though.

20 - 24: 96%
25 - 29: 86%
30 - 34: 86%
35 - 39: 78%

ETA2: For our more scientific bumpies (bumpers?) here's a better study for you. The numbers are very similar to the ones I just posted and definitely nothing close to that scary one above!

lulu1180 · February 2017

While looking for a more recent study (thanks @LoveInDC for finding one!) I found this article that explains why it's ok to pee after sex for those (especially newbies) that still wonder about it.

eggplantface · February 2017

I could have sworn the actual numbers were even lower than what @hartmich posted. I mean, you get 40+ and doctors are all "NEVER." So, I'm pleasantly surprised. But your doctor's office should really get updated stats regardless. I mean...1982?

hartmich · February 2017

@eggplantface It was in an article about "why you shouldn't wait to contact a fertility specialist" soooo I'm pretty sure they chose that chart on purpose to scare people.

Tennis11785 · February 2017

I know I'm a bit late, but I just wanted to second the grad post theory of how often you participate. If people recognize your screen name, respond to your (appropriately placed) comments, and you give to the community, I think you can go in the grad post. I liked how someone put it - would anyone notice if you disappeared. @heatherdubrow and @ag90 - I'd noticed if either of you fell off the board. You've both made a big effort to get to know the community.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

@BertieMeetsGertie @hartmich @Tennis11785 that seriously made me feel so good! Thank you. I'm really hoping we all get to post on that thread soon.

Dilynne · February 2017

I don't get to post on the weekly randoms often so I thought I'd pop in and ask a question:

Separate vacations for spouses? H's dad wants to take us to Vegas this April. We'd stay in his condo and he'd pay for our flights but like... we really don't have the extra money and I'd need a new passport. Would it be weird if I told H to go by himself? I don't want him missing out.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

@Dilynne I don't think that would be weird and I think it's super sweet of you to think of it!

lulu1180 · February 2017

@Dilynne If it were me, I would tell DH to go and I would stay home. I feel the same as you that he shouldn't have to miss out. I see nothing wrong with that situation.

Tennis11785 · February 2017

@Dilynne - H and I have taken separate vacations. More often, it's me going without him, but there have been a few of him without me. It's rarely a "you're not invited" thing (although I guess he wasn't invited to the trip with my 6 college roommates and only 1 other is married and he wasn't coming). It's more of like "I'm going to Disney to run this race with friends, but it's a busy time for him and work and he doesn't like Disney anyway". So no bad intentions.

adirat · February 2017

I sometimes go on trips without my husband but it's because he doesn't want to do the trip (like when I met my aunts in rural Wisconsin for the weekend...not his jam). I think it depends on the couple. But there's no rule that it's weird!

I will be brave enough to say that I actually do not think 1/1s should post in the grad thread. I don't think it's kind for them to do. But this is not a majority opinion here. It's not personal @ag90. I'm just not a nice person on the inside and all I feel is jealousy for 1/1s.

UO I actually think quite a few of the grad posts recently were inappropriate (like that random person who said she posted like a year ago but none of us knew who she was? Rain something?) but again I am not the arbiter of this and feel way more sensitive about it than most people here do. You should do what you feel is right. When I am having a hard ttc day I simply don't open the grad thread. Slash that is most days. Sorry.

lulu1180 · February 2017

adirat said:

*snip*
UO I actually think quite a few of the grad posts recently were inappropriate (like that random person who said she posted like a year ago but none of us knew who she was? Rain something?) but again I am not the arbiter of this and feel way more sensitive about it than most people here do. You should do what you feel is right. When I am having a hard ttc day I simply don't open the grad thread. Slash that is most days. Sorry.

I feel this quite often but usually keep my mouth shut because I don't want to be the bitch in the group.

adirat · February 2017

Addendum after reading the other thread -- I agree with @nytino24 about charting. It fills me with rage to see people post in the grad thread on cycle 2 or 3 and say they don't chart but they listen to their body or whatever. If you don't want to chart that's fine, you do you, but my jealousy makes me hate you and your chartless bfp.

@haylsbayls Where's my Kristen Doute "sorry not sorry" gif right now?

haylsbayls-2 · February 2017

@Dilynne Not weird at all to do separate vacations! I was in Phoenix last weekend without DH, he's going to Jackson Hole (ahem, on my bday week) without me. Not a big deal at all! With that said, I LOVE Vegas and you should totally go if you can/want to, it's so much fun! I forgot you were in Canada and was wondering why you would need a new passport!

adirat · February 2017

@lulu1180 I got you girl. I am the bitch of the group and I see those posts like wut who even are you get out of here.

haylsbayls-2 · February 2017

@adirat

ETA: I don't sit around waiting for adirat to ask me to google things, I just happened to be posting on this thread at the same time

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