I personally blame our entertainment industry for portraying childbirth as some kind of public spectacle where everyone feels welcome to pull up a chair and watch. In reality it's an intimate, deeply emotional, spiritual experience involving varied levels of nudity, and extreme amounts of bodily fluids. If I were a MIL I wouldn't particularly want to be there. It's a special and very unique experience for a couple to share. If I weren't one of the parents I would feel like I was overstepping boundaries in a major way.
Yeah, I've never really understood wanting to be present for somebody else's delivery, unless you are a medical professional obviously. My mom asked if I wanted to be there when my little brother was born (I was 24) and I said no way, same with when my sister had her boys. I would have been so uncomfortable.
@kiyamurph I have an awesome mom and bat S&*^ crazy mother in law. I would never allow her in the L&D room. She has the tendency to pretend that she doesn't understand English when she hears something she doesn't like. She has also NEVER been wrong in her entire life (sarcasm), and doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. She would be the person that would boss around the doctors, even though she knows nothing about medicine at all.
I am curious to know who everyone is having with them during labor and delivery, or for STM who did you have with your other births?
My hospital allows 4 support people. I had planned on it just being my husband and I, but a relative asked me if I was going to have my mom in there (in front of my mom) I said no and my mom said she was planning on being in there. My sister in law invited her for her birth, but she wasn't able to be there because they live out of state. She wants to be in there with me more as a mom to make sure I'm ok. (I'm her first daughter to have a baby.)
I love my mom, and don't want to hurt her feelings or have regrets later on, but I've decided she definitely won't be in there for the delivery. I'm considering allowing her to be in there during the early stages of labor, but am not sure.
Sorry for writing a book! Interested to hear who others plan on inviting!
Um, I'm with you. That is so weirdly pushy to say you plan on being there AFTER the person already said that you are not going to be there. (I didn't actually read the other responses so I apologize if I'm repeating what people have said ad nauseum.
My husband was my only support person because of flu restrictions, but I would not have had it any other way. I know I've said this on another thread, but I spent the last 10 hours or so of my labor naked except for a pair of grippy socks. I was vomiting. I was in pain. I was peeing myself and having to have my husband help me sit on the toilet to poop.
My impression is that if she is really there to make srue your okay she will be worrying about you the whole time because labor is not fun. What is that going to do but add stress? Now, if she was there to be a rock for you or reassure you or something that is different. But making sure your okay? That puts pressure on you to BE okay.
I say stick to your guns. If you want her to be there at the beginning of labor, that's fine, but you have to be prepared to tell her to leave. Nurses are usually great about backing you up in this.
@longliveregina I totally relate to your grippy socks vomiting situation. I think I had a gown on, but at one point I was on my hands and knees pooping the floor like a dog. My nurse didn't want me using the toilet so... Can't even imagine how I would feel today around my relatives if they had watched that.
I am damn proud of my labor and delivery and wouldn't want anything to cause me to have felt embarrassed or ashamed. For me, an audience would've made me feel uncomfortable.
Re: Support People
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
Life is all about balance, I guess.
My husband was my only support person because of flu restrictions, but I would not have had it any other way. I know I've said this on another thread, but I spent the last 10 hours or so of my labor naked except for a pair of grippy socks. I was vomiting. I was in pain. I was peeing myself and having to have my husband help me sit on the toilet to poop.
My impression is that if she is really there to make srue your okay she will be worrying about you the whole time because labor is not fun. What is that going to do but add stress? Now, if she was there to be a rock for you or reassure you or something that is different. But making sure your okay? That puts pressure on you to BE okay.
I say stick to your guns. If you want her to be there at the beginning of labor, that's fine, but you have to be prepared to tell her to leave. Nurses are usually great about backing you up in this.
I am damn proud of my labor and delivery and wouldn't want anything to cause me to have felt embarrassed or ashamed. For me, an audience would've made me feel uncomfortable.