I don't know why but my husband decided that this year he wasn't going to keep the gifts he got me a secret, as in he told me what he bought me when he bought them...and when they arrived in the mail, he just handed me the package and old me to go ahead and open them. Guess who has nothing to open from him on Christmas? We agreed initially not to give each other gifts but then we decided to do a few small presents. I love Christmas and opening presents by the tree...kinda bummed out.
My husband does this every year, it's sooo aggravating!!!
Why do they do this?! Too much pressure in gift giving?
I don't know why but my husband decided that this year he wasn't going to keep the gifts he got me a secret, as in he told me what he bought me when he bought them...and when they arrived in the mail, he just handed me the package and old me to go ahead and open them. Guess who has nothing to open from him on Christmas? We agreed initially not to give each other gifts but then we decided to do a few small presents. I love Christmas and opening presents by the tree...kinda bummed out.
My husband does this every year, it's sooo aggravating!!!
Why do they do this?! Too much pressure in gift giving?
My husband doesn't like Christmas so I think he just doesn't care? I dunno. It could be the pressure and not wanting the build up to be met with disappointment.
My whole family is going into NYC today to see Santa at Macy's, we do it every year. We are taking the train in from our town with my parents and my sister gets on the same train from her town 20 minutes away.
I asked my mom if we could not sit across from her and my dad on the train because Savannah is going to need to eat during the 80 minute ride.
Her response? Yeah I think if you could sit in a corner somewhere with Ian on the aisle seat could probably could feed her. I'm sorry, what? I will feed her no matter what as she is my baby who gets hungry, I would just prefer to not be touching knees with my father when I do so. (Adding that I do use a cover)
I don't get it! This is my mother who breastfed her kids! She's always been a little weird about and it just pisses me off. Maybe I should just do bottles all day and be incredible uncomfortable all day until I start leaking through my shirt? That sounds like a good solution *eyeroll*
My whole family is going into NYC today to see Santa at Macy's, we do it every year. We are taking the train in from our town with my parents and my sister gets on the same train from her town 20 minutes away.
I asked my mom if we could not sit across from her and my dad on the train because Savannah is going to need to eat during the 80 minute ride.
Her response? Yeah I think if you could sit in a corner somewhere with Ian on the aisle seat could probably could feed her. I'm sorry, what? I will feed her no matter what as she is my baby who gets hungry, I would just prefer to not be touching knees with my father when I do so. (Adding that I do use a cover)
I don't get it! This is my mother who breastfed her kids! She's always been a little weird about and it just pisses me off. Maybe I should just do bottles all day and be incredible uncomfortable all day until I start leaking through my shirt? That sounds like a good solution *eyeroll*
That sucks! I hope the seating works out. Also, I'm super jealous, that sounds like a ton of fun, I've never been to NYC before.
@laurenm2123 is your mom concerned that you'll offend people, or does she think you don't want others to see your boobs?
Sometimes people are so concerned about my "privacy" and I can't tell if that's all it is or if it's code for "cover up, please".
I think she's concerned that I'll offend someone or that there is a slight possibility someone will see my boobs. (To be fair they are massive) What she seems to not understand is that is genuinely don't care! If someone is offended, looks hard enough to see something, or is grossed out by what they imagine is happening under my cover that is their problem, not mine.
I guess she doesn't realized that times have changed since she had a baby!
Last night I went out with a friend and left DH with some bottles. I text him and he said all was well but when I got home, after having a great time, he tells me that he woke up screaming at one point and gave him more of a hard time than the said at first. He said he didn't wanna tell me because he didn't want me to worry and think that I can never go out again. Well then why even tell me? He clearly did want to complain about it and I think he really doesn't want me to go out. He's a great dad but Preston really does better with bedtime if I am there. So this plus the fact the Preston had a bad waking last night and early this morning, he was in such a crabby mood and took it out on DS. I know he may be coming down with a man cold but thats no excuse to be a dick to our kid.
I realized I should explain what he did. When Preston was crying during his wakings and wasn't settling right away DH stormed out of his room and shut the door on him and came back and said "screw it, he has to learn". Luckily he calmed down like two minutes later and I didn't have to go do damage control and DH texted he was sorry but I'm still miffed.
Last night I went out with a friend and left DH with some bottles. I text him and he said all was well but when I got home, after having a great time, he tells me that he woke up screaming at one point and gave him more of a hard time than the said at first. He said he didn't wanna tell me because he didn't want me to worry and think that I can never go out again. Well then why even tell me? He clearly did want to complain about it and I think he really doesn't want me to go out. He's a great dad but Preston really does better with bedtime if I am there. So this plus the fact the Preston had a bad waking last night and early this morning, he was in such a crabby mood and took it out on DS. I know he may be coming down with a man cold but thats no excuse to be a dick to our kid.
I realized I should explain what he did. When Preston was crying during his wakings and wasn't settling right away DH stormed out of his room and shut the door on him and came back and said "screw it, he has to learn". Luckily he calmed down like two minutes later and I didn't have to go do damage control and DH texted he was sorry but I'm still miffed.
I'm sorry : ( at first I was going to say I wouldn't think badly of him for telling you about the bad night DS had, because I always want to know what's going on with my LO. But it sounds like there's more going on here. I'm not sure if your husband needs to spend more alone time with DS so he gets used to how infants are, or less because he doesn't have the patience : (
I don't understand how our husbands are right there while we are taking care of the baby, but they are oblivious to what's going on until they have to take care of the baby without us!
Last night I went out with a friend and left DH with some bottles. I text him and he said all was well but when I got home, after having a great time, he tells me that he woke up screaming at one point and gave him more of a hard time than the said at first. He said he didn't wanna tell me because he didn't want me to worry and think that I can never go out again. Well then why even tell me? He clearly did want to complain about it and I think he really doesn't want me to go out. He's a great dad but Preston really does better with bedtime if I am there. So this plus the fact the Preston had a bad waking last night and early this morning, he was in such a crabby mood and took it out on DS. I know he may be coming down with a man cold but thats no excuse to be a dick to our kid.
I realized I should explain what he did. When Preston was crying during his wakings and wasn't settling right away DH stormed out of his room and shut the door on him and came back and said "screw it, he has to learn". Luckily he calmed down like two minutes later and I didn't have to go do damage control and DH texted he was sorry but I'm still miffed.
I don't blame you for being miffed, I would be too.
My husband has admitted that he never realized how impatient he truly is until we had Damien. He always felt he had the patience of a saint but quickly realized he actually needed to work on it. I give him "Daddy and me" time, which has helped a lot. He does bathtime on his own at least once a week, feeds him solids flying solo, puts him to bed on his own some nights to give me a break or to finish cooking dinner, on weekends I try to nap a bit longer so he is "on call" if Damien wakes up early from his nap, etc. He is much more calm and patient now and I think that has a lot to do with his confidence level when it comes to taking care of Damien on his own. Maybe your dh just needs a little more time doing stuff with Preston on his own.
Last night I went out with a friend and left DH with some bottles. I text him and he said all was well but when I got home, after having a great time, he tells me that he woke up screaming at one point and gave him more of a hard time than the said at first. He said he didn't wanna tell me because he didn't want me to worry and think that I can never go out again. Well then why even tell me? He clearly did want to complain about it and I think he really doesn't want me to go out. He's a great dad but Preston really does better with bedtime if I am there. So this plus the fact the Preston had a bad waking last night and early this morning, he was in such a crabby mood and took it out on DS. I know he may be coming down with a man cold but thats no excuse to be a dick to our kid.
I realized I should explain what he did. When Preston was crying during his wakings and wasn't settling right away DH stormed out of his room and shut the door on him and came back and said "screw it, he has to learn". Luckily he calmed down like two minutes later and I didn't have to go do damage control and DH texted he was sorry but I'm still miffed.
I don't blame you for being miffed, I would be too.
My husband has admitted that he never realized how impatient he truly is until we had Damien. He always felt he had the patience of a saint but quickly realized he actually needed to work on it. I give him "Daddy and me" time, which has helped a lot. He does bathtime on his own at least once a week, feeds him solids flying solo, puts him to bed on his own some nights to give me a break or to finish cooking dinner, on weekends I try to nap a bit longer so he is "on call" if Damien wakes up early from his nap, etc. He is much more calm and patient now and I think that has a lot to do with his confidence level when it comes to taking care of Damien on his own. Maybe your dh just needs a little more time doing stuff with Preston on his own.
While he is awake isn't the issue. He gets a few hour each night with him and lots of time on the weekends. It's just that he's as upset with the sleep issues as I am, only while I get sad, he gets mad.
Last night I went out with a friend and left DH with some bottles. I text him and he said all was well but when I got home, after having a great time, he tells me that he woke up screaming at one point and gave him more of a hard time than the said at first. He said he didn't wanna tell me because he didn't want me to worry and think that I can never go out again. Well then why even tell me? He clearly did want to complain about it and I think he really doesn't want me to go out. He's a great dad but Preston really does better with bedtime if I am there. So this plus the fact the Preston had a bad waking last night and early this morning, he was in such a crabby mood and took it out on DS. I know he may be coming down with a man cold but thats no excuse to be a dick to our kid.
I realized I should explain what he did. When Preston was crying during his wakings and wasn't settling right away DH stormed out of his room and shut the door on him and came back and said "screw it, he has to learn". Luckily he calmed down like two minutes later and I didn't have to go do damage control and DH texted he was sorry but I'm still miffed.
I don't blame you for being miffed, I would be too.
My husband has admitted that he never realized how impatient he truly is until we had Damien. He always felt he had the patience of a saint but quickly realized he actually needed to work on it. I give him "Daddy and me" time, which has helped a lot. He does bathtime on his own at least once a week, feeds him solids flying solo, puts him to bed on his own some nights to give me a break or to finish cooking dinner, on weekends I try to nap a bit longer so he is "on call" if Damien wakes up early from his nap, etc. He is much more calm and patient now and I think that has a lot to do with his confidence level when it comes to taking care of Damien on his own. Maybe your dh just needs a little more time doing stuff with Preston on his own.
While he is awake isn't the issue. He gets a few hour each night with him and lots of time on the weekends. It's just that he's as upset with the sleep issues as I am, only while I get sad, he gets mad.
Ah fair enough. Bedtime can tough for us when Damien is really fighting it. My husband would get super frustrated very quickly. Still does sometimes but I do too once in a blue moon. I guess all it takes is time. Hopefully this phase passes soon!
Anyone know how long hunting season is? Trying to figure out if I can keep my sanity for the rest of the season.
Like with everything dh does, his new hobby has become an obsession. The last three weeks he has left at 4am on Saturday, come home at 7pm, put away his hunting gear and slept till 10-11am on Sunday, which is when we have to leave for church, than taking a nap in the afternoon because he's exhausted from the day before. If the kids and I were just hanging out at home it would be annoying, but not that different from the rest of the week. But now that DS has school and activities and friends birthday parties, and I'm involved in volunteering through church, it's just exhausting! Yesterday we had a birthday party in the morning, came home and made a side dish to take to a Christmas party that evening. Taking three kids under six and a big dish of potatoes across a parking lot, up some stairs, and into a building by yourself is no joke!
I think I've convinced him to do a half day next week so he doesn't miss DS's holiday pageant, and he won't go on Christmas weekend, so I think the worst streatch is behind us: Just needed to vent this morning!
Anyone know how long hunting season is? Trying to figure out if I can keep my sanity for the rest of the season.
Like with everything dh does, his new hobby has become an obsession. The last three weeks he has left at 4am on Saturday, come home at 7pm, put away his hunting gear and slept till 10-11am on Sunday, which is when we have to leave for church, than taking a nap in the afternoon because he's exhausted from the day before. If the kids and I were just hanging out at home it would be annoying, but not that different from the rest of the week. But now that DS has school and activities and friends birthday parties, and I'm involved in volunteering through church, it's just exhausting! Yesterday we had a birthday party in the morning, came home and made a side dish to take to a Christmas party that evening. Taking three kids under six and a big dish of potatoes across a parking lot, up some stairs, and into a building by yourself is no joke!
I think I've convinced him to do a half day next week so he doesn't miss DS's holiday pageant, and he won't go on Christmas weekend, so I think the worst streatch is behind us: Just needed to vent this morning!
Maybe it's just my marriage because I "wear the pants" but my husband always asks permission to do anything with his friends/co-workers. I have no issues with him hanging out with friends for drinks or to go to the gun range etc, but he needs to be home at a reasonable hour (I have no problem communicating a "curfew"). We have a baby that needs to hang with daddy and chores to get done, so as much as I love him having a life outside of the house...our family comes first.
And my hubby is the same way with hobbies! He finds something he thinks he will enjoy, buys all the shit for it, and a few months later it's collecting dust in the garage. Go figure. So far his cycling is the only thing he's stuck with, but that's because his doctor said he's borderline high cholesterol (at 28 years old!?) and needs to exercise 4+ days a week and change his diet. So I support the cycling 100%.
Anyone know how long hunting season is? Trying to figure out if I can keep my sanity for the rest of the season.
Like with everything dh does, his new hobby has become an obsession. The last three weeks he has left at 4am on Saturday, come home at 7pm, put away his hunting gear and slept till 10-11am on Sunday, which is when we have to leave for church, than taking a nap in the afternoon because he's exhausted from the day before. If the kids and I were just hanging out at home it would be annoying, but not that different from the rest of the week. But now that DS has school and activities and friends birthday parties, and I'm involved in volunteering through church, it's just exhausting! Yesterday we had a birthday party in the morning, came home and made a side dish to take to a Christmas party that evening. Taking three kids under six and a big dish of potatoes across a parking lot, up some stairs, and into a building by yourself is no joke!
I think I've convinced him to do a half day next week so he doesn't miss DS's holiday pageant, and he won't go on Christmas weekend, so I think the worst streatch is behind us: Just needed to vent this morning!
Maybe it's just my marriage because I "wear the pants" but my husband always asks permission to do anything with his friends/co-workers. I have no issues with him hanging out with friends for drinks or to go to the gun range etc, but he needs to be home at a reasonable hour (I have no problem communicating a "curfew"). We have a baby that needs to hang with daddy and chores to get done, so as much as I love him having a life outside of the house...our family comes first.
And my hubby is the same way with hobbies! He finds something he thinks he will enjoy, buys all the shit for it, and a few months later it's collecting dust in the garage. Go figure. So far his cycling is the only thing he's stuck with, but that's because his doctor said he's borderline high cholesterol (at 28 years old!?) and needs to exercise 4+ days a week and change his diet. So I support the cycling 100%.
This 100%. Our hubby's definitely need their outlets and interests and my DH has his share too, but it's so important to us to support each other and our family first.
Hunting seasons vary by state and animal and weapon. My hubby likes to hunt but he will only go on a few short trips a year. If he does elk he will maybe go 3-4 days and will maybe go 1 day for a deer or antelope. Thankfully he didn't go this year. I think if I was in your shoes I would stand up to him and tell him it was bothering me and say maybe he could set aside one Saturday a month, or some agreeable time, for hunting. Good luck!
So we had LO's 6 month appt today with a new pediatrician (we moved) who is the same dr I had as a child, so I thought that would be a good thing. I had called a few wks ago to make the appt and I specifically asked if we should be starting solid foods before then. The nurse said they don't recommend starting before 6 months and the dr will talk to us about it at the appt. Well today the dr sai that we waited too long, we should have started earlier because the earlier they start eating different foods, the less likely they are to develop allergies. He said my previous dr should have told us. He also gave us instructions so quickly that my head was spinning. I told him about our issues with our LO not taking a bottle, and I'm going back to work soon. So he told us a bunch of things we should have done (give her a bottle earlier etc). Yeah no kidding! And now he says just fight with her and eventually she'll take the bottle. Okay... I just left so stressed and feeling like crap. I could go back to my old pediatrician but it's now a 30 minute drive vs this dr is like 10-15 minutes away. I just figured if baby was sick etc we'd like a dr that's closer. Ahhh, decisions! Ok sorry for the rant!
@Lizbeth86 you should not feel like crap! Your new pedi is entitled to his professional opinion, but it's pretty standard to wait until 6 months to introduce solid food. That's not something you should feel bad about. As for the bottle, everything I've heard is that a baby will figure out the bottle when she needs to. Childcare providers have lots of practice coaxing babies to take bottles. It's also possible that she may just not drink a ton at daycare and then will make up for it in the mornings and evenings with you. Maybe not ideal, but she'll figure out a way to get what she needs.
It really bums me out that I don't have many pictures of just Damien and me, I'm talking candid shots. I've taken a ton of pictures of my husband doing things with Damien and they are such precious memories. It just bugs me that when we look back at his first year, there won't be many of us doing Mother/Son things. When we all go out, even just to do mundane errands, I'm the one always taking pictures. I told my husband that I would love for him to take pictures of me doing things with Damien too, even if it is just normal, day-to-day stuff, but he has yet to even bother. I take selfies with him sometimes but I still end up being somewhat taken out of the moment since I'm the one taking the picture.
vintagevix2016 I tell my H this allll the time. I have started telling him to take pictures of me and Jack just doing every day things. Like a few days ago I called him into Jacks room while I was clipping his nails just to take a picture! I'm just going to keep doing this and maybe he will eventually get the hint.
vintagevix2016 I tell my H this allll the time. I have started telling him to take pictures of me and Jack just doing every day things. Like a few days ago I called him into Jacks room while I was clipping his nails just to take a picture! I'm just going to keep doing this and maybe he will eventually get the hint.
I think I'm going to start doing that too! It's so frustrating because I don't have to think twice before whipping out the camera to take a picture of them. Sitting on his lap, feeding him solids, pulling him in the sleigh, etc. It's just baffles me that he doesn't think, "I should take a quick pic of this!" like...ever.
Yeah we need some of me with her too. To be honest I never asked for it because I felt so chubby and a mess (in sweats most of the time), but I'm a little more presentable now.
It really bums me out that I don't have many pictures of just Damien and me, I'm talking candid shots. I've taken a ton of pictures of my husband doing things with Damien and they are such precious memories. It just bugs me that when we look back at his first year, there won't be many of us doing Mother/Son things. When we all go out, even just to do mundane errands, I'm the one always taking pictures. I told my husband that I would love for him to take pictures of me doing things with Damien too, even if it is just normal, day-to-day stuff, but he has yet to even bother. I take selfies with him sometimes but I still end up being somewhat taken out of the moment since I'm the one taking the picture.
Yep, same!! I bring it up to DH all the time. But apparently this is very common husband behavior and doesn't improve. My sister, who's boys are 9 and 11, says she has no pictures with her and them.
I bought over $200 worth of produce today so that we could prepare food and freeze them. Weeeell, I started with the carrots and halfway through the batch, our Baby Brezza Food Maker stopped working. This is only the fourth time we used it. I'm so frustrated! I know there are other ways to steam and purée his food but this all-in-one machine was so handy. It's still under warranty so I plan to call customer service tomorrow, until then I will make do. I guess I'm just annoyed.
I bought over $200 worth of produce today so that we could prepare food and freeze them. Weeeell, I started with the carrots and halfway through the batch, our Baby Brezza Food Maker stopped working. This is only the fourth time we used it. I'm so frustrated! I know there are other ways to steam and purée his food but this all-in-one machine was so handy. It's still under warranty so I plan to call customer service tomorrow, until then I will make do. I guess I'm just annoyed.
Ugh I'm sorry, that's annoying when you buy something for a specific purpose and it fails you. I'm also trying to picture $200 worth of produce, your kitchen must look like a farm! ;-)
I bought over $200 worth of produce today so that we could prepare food and freeze them. Weeeell, I started with the carrots and halfway through the batch, our Baby Brezza Food Maker stopped working. This is only the fourth time we used it. I'm so frustrated! I know there are other ways to steam and purée his food but this all-in-one machine was so handy. It's still under warranty so I plan to call customer service tomorrow, until then I will make do. I guess I'm just annoyed.
Ugh I'm sorry, that's annoying when you buy something for a specific purpose and it fails you. I'm also trying to picture $200 worth of produce, your kitchen must look like a farm! ;-)
Fortunately it was a baby shower gift but I hate to think that my Mom spent money on it, only for it to break so quickly!
Ha, it's true! There are fruits and veggies everywhere. We have a tiny kitchen too so we have absolutely no room at this point!
It really bums me out that I don't have many pictures of just Damien and me, I'm talking candid shots. I've taken a ton of pictures of my husband doing things with Damien and they are such precious memories. It just bugs me that when we look back at his first year, there won't be many of us doing Mother/Son things. When we all go out, even just to do mundane errands, I'm the one always taking pictures. I told my husband that I would love for him to take pictures of me doing things with Damien too, even if it is just normal, day-to-day stuff, but he has yet to even bother. I take selfies with him sometimes but I still end up being somewhat taken out of the moment since I'm the one taking the picture.
Yep, same!! I bring it up to DH all the time. But apparently this is very common husband behavior and doesn't improve. My sister, who's boys are 9 and 11, says she has no pictures with her and them.
Super common husband problem. And when they do take a picture it's so rare it's like seeing a unicorn. Yesterday we got bundled up for a walk and when to Starbucks for some tea before hitting the park (which is the same parking lot, so Preston was already in the jogger). And as I paid DH looks at Preston and says "omg you are so cute. This is you first walk in this jogger, I have to get a picture". And I stand there in shock as not only did he take a picture but was making funny faces to get him to smile.
My SiL and her husband are moving to Rome this Spring for his work. Nice, right? They want us to be sure to visit them while they are there as well and of course we aim to do so. My husband informed me that he and I, not Damien yet, should go next year. Before I even asked my question about what we would do with Damien, I already knew the answer: Stay with his parents. You all may or may not remember how upset/angry I was with them the last time (and only time thus far) they watched him. After that incident and the collection of other problems we have had with them regarding Damien, I vowed that they wouldn't be babysitting whatsoever until he was older...like 2yrs old. I explained to my husband that I wasn't comfortable leaving him for an extended period yet, with anyone (which is true), and maybe we could plan it for sometime in 2018. He thinks I'm crazy and I can't tell him about my vow because the last time I mentioned how royally they eff'ed up, he defended them tooth and nail...despite being more livid than I was initially. Am I crazy for not wanting to leave our son for 1-2 weeks with people who routinely challenge our parenting choices, tell us that they plan to ignore them whenever he is with them, and blatantly disregard saftety and health concerns? His Father has already started telling us that he plans to load Damien up with sugar since he can handle solids now...and he's only 6 months old! This is also after his Mom grilled me over giving him anything other than cereal. Maybe I am being dramatic and I need to chill but I just don't trust them with Damien.
@vintagevix2016 you are totally not crazy. I have a similar situation in that DH wants to take me on a cruise and suggested leaving Jackie with his parents. I love his parents, I trust them with Jackie for short periods of time, and if I were to leave her overnight with anyone it would be a family member, but I'm not ready for that. I think since he has left us overnight for various work things and isn't as integral in her care he doesn't get it.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@vintagevix2016 I agree with you, I couldn't imagine leaving my LO for 1-2, the longest I've left my boys with my mom is 3 days and it was hard for me. Charlotte is my 3rd and she hasn't done a sleep over at grandmas yet, even though my mom keeps asking. Is bringing your LO with you out of the question? I can't imagine the flight would be fun but I had a hard time flying to Greece without children. I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.
@vintagevix2016 I agree with you, I couldn't imagine leaving my LO for 1-2, the longest I've left my boys with my mom is 3 days and it was hard for me. Charlotte is my 3rd and she hasn't done a sleep over at grandmas yet, even though my mom keeps asking. Is bringing your LO with you out of the question? I can't imagine the flight would be fun but I had a hard time flying to Greece without children. I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.
He really wants for us to have a trip without him so that we can spend some time just focusing on the two of us and enjoy some time together. I think it's a fine idea but that we need to be patient and wait until he is a little older before taking a trip like that.
@vintagevix2016 I agree with you, I couldn't imagine leaving my LO for 1-2, the longest I've left my boys with my mom is 3 days and it was hard for me. Charlotte is my 3rd and she hasn't done a sleep over at grandmas yet, even though my mom keeps asking. Is bringing your LO with you out of the question? I can't imagine the flight would be fun but I had a hard time flying to Greece without children. I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.
He really wants for us to have a trip without him so that we can spend some time just focusing on the two of us and enjoy some time together. I think it's a fine idea but that we need to be patient and wait until he is a little older before taking a trip like that.
What about something like a cruise or all inclusive resort that offers childcare? That way you can go with kiddo without being trapped all night for bedtime. That's something we've been looking at, although it does add an extra cost.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@vintagevix2016 I agree with you, I couldn't imagine leaving my LO for 1-2, the longest I've left my boys with my mom is 3 days and it was hard for me. Charlotte is my 3rd and she hasn't done a sleep over at grandmas yet, even though my mom keeps asking. Is bringing your LO with you out of the question? I can't imagine the flight would be fun but I had a hard time flying to Greece without children. I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.
He really wants for us to have a trip without him so that we can spend some time just focusing on the two of us and enjoy some time together. I think it's a fine idea but that we need to be patient and wait until he is a little older before taking a trip like that.
What about something like a cruise or all inclusive resort that offers childcare? That way you can go with kiddo without being trapped all night for bedtime. That's something we've been looking at, although it does add an extra cost.
That's definitely a great idea! I think we will do that at some point. We take about doing a cruise all the time (I'm kind of terrified of open waters but a cruise sounds fun). We just don't have the money for a cruise yet. If we go to Italy, we have free lodging in Rome (and meals are cheapish since we can buy groceries and eat at my SiL's, which is where we would stay). We also have free lodging on the eastern coast since my SiL's husband has a family home that is available to us. It's actually a great option for budget travel since our biggest expenses would be the flights and a car rental. I think my husband just needs to be patient and maybe we can start small with an overnight trip somewhere close (like a chalet or something), then a weekend at some point, and then a longer trip. Damien would be older at that point so I think I would be ready for an Italy trip.
@vintagevix2016 I agree with you, I couldn't imagine leaving my LO for 1-2, the longest I've left my boys with my mom is 3 days and it was hard for me. Charlotte is my 3rd and she hasn't done a sleep over at grandmas yet, even though my mom keeps asking. Is bringing your LO with you out of the question? I can't imagine the flight would be fun but I had a hard time flying to Greece without children. I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.
He really wants for us to have a trip without him so that we can spend some time just focusing on the two of us and enjoy some time together. I think it's a fine idea but that we need to be patient and wait until he is a little older before taking a trip like that.
What about something like a cruise or all inclusive resort that offers childcare? That way you can go with kiddo without being trapped all night for bedtime. That's something we've been looking at, although it does add an extra cost.
That's definitely a great idea! I think we will do that at some point. We take about doing a cruise all the time (I'm kind of terrified of open waters but a cruise sounds fun). We just don't have the money for a cruise yet. If we go to Italy, we have free lodging in Rome (and meals are cheapish since we can buy groceries and eat at my SiL's, which is where we would stay). We also have free lodging on the eastern coast since my SiL's husband has a family home that is available to us. It's actually a great option for budget travel since our biggest expenses would be the flights and a car rental. I think my husband just needs to be patient and maybe we can start small with an overnight trip somewhere close (like a chalet or something), then a weekend at some point, and then a longer trip. Damien would be older at that point so I think I would be ready for an Italy trip.
Could your sister either babysit or try to line up a babysitter for a couple day trips/ date nights?
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@vintagevix2016 I agree with you, I couldn't imagine leaving my LO for 1-2, the longest I've left my boys with my mom is 3 days and it was hard for me. Charlotte is my 3rd and she hasn't done a sleep over at grandmas yet, even though my mom keeps asking. Is bringing your LO with you out of the question? I can't imagine the flight would be fun but I had a hard time flying to Greece without children. I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.
He really wants for us to have a trip without him so that we can spend some time just focusing on the two of us and enjoy some time together. I think it's a fine idea but that we need to be patient and wait until he is a little older before taking a trip like that.
What about something like a cruise or all inclusive resort that offers childcare? That way you can go with kiddo without being trapped all night for bedtime. That's something we've been looking at, although it does add an extra cost.
That's definitely a great idea! I think we will do that at some point. We take about doing a cruise all the time (I'm kind of terrified of open waters but a cruise sounds fun). We just don't have the money for a cruise yet. If we go to Italy, we have free lodging in Rome (and meals are cheapish since we can buy groceries and eat at my SiL's, which is where we would stay). We also have free lodging on the eastern coast since my SiL's husband has a family home that is available to us. It's actually a great option for budget travel since our biggest expenses would be the flights and a car rental. I think my husband just needs to be patient and maybe we can start small with an overnight trip somewhere close (like a chalet or something), then a weekend at some point, and then a longer trip. Damien would be older at that point so I think I would be ready for an Italy trip.
Could your sister either babysit or try to line up a babysitter for a couple day trips/ date nights?
We're in the process of looking for a babysitter so that we aren't constantly relying on my boss (who loves watching Damien but has 2 kiddos of her own). We do date night about once a month and once we have a sitter lined up we hope to get some day-trips too. My SiL also loves to watch Damien and the invite to Italy is for the three of us as well so Damien is absolutely welcome. She will be working during the day but evenings would totally be an option. My husband just doesn't want Damien on the initial trip, period. He can't wait to do family vacations and show Damien all kinds of great places but he is totally fixated on doing an adult-only trip. I'd love to bring Damien with us and we do plan to take him at some point. At the end of the day, I just don't think his adult-only trip will happen anytime soon...it will eventually (I know both sets of grandparents would love to spend that time with Damien). He just needs to be patient and realize that our date nights and day trips will be the extent of "us" time for a little bit.
Edit: I just tealized you meant lining up a sitter in Italy! I'm sure that something could be worked out. My SiL's husband might be able to look into something like that with his work community. And I should present the idea of day trips and date nights in italy to my husband as an alternative nonetheless!
Miles doesn't STTN, and we've always fed/rocked him to sleep at night because we're serious AW for the baby's awake time. My mother watches him while I'm at work and also rocks him to sleep for his naps. Well, now he's developed night time separation anxiety and situational association, yay. He's up every hour, takes forever to settle back down if I'm up walking him around, and refuses to settle down if I sit to rock him in his glider, because that's where we've always done his MOTN feeds.
My vent comes in two folds that with all of these wakings, I'm pretty much going it solo. DH has started getting up some in the last two weeks, but he doesn't have a lot of patience and Miles doesn't much like Dad holding him between 9 pm and 7 am. Unfortunately, even though he has no patience, he has a freaking bleeding heart. He hates any CIO method and believes Miles has no ability to settle himself back down if he's been crying for more than 3 minutes at a time. You know what that means, Mom's on duty, pretty much all night long. I went to bed this morning at 3 am because that's when I finally got Miles down. When he was up crying at 4:15, I kicked DH out of bed to go get him. 20 minutes later, I was up again because I couldn't listen to DH attempting to call over Miles's cries to get him to pay attention and quiet down. DH is also against bed sharing as a semi-permanent solution, even though I explained to him that it's one of the main tenants of the No Tears sleep method. It's like he hopes a magic sand-unicorn will eventually enter our house and everything will just be peaceful and easy with sleep. Did I mention I work full time? And I'm definitely not allowed to quit my job.
Second fold is that even if we do find something that works in the evening, my mother is very independent and raised 4 kids herself, so I doubt she would follow any suggestions I make. It took 6 weeks of begging for her to move him into size 2 diapers, even when she had some available and I offered to buy her more. She just didn't think he needed them yet, at 6 months old with a near constant diaper rash.
I know they say you're never supposed to complain about your husband to other people, and I mostly try to follow that, but I haven't slept more than 4 hours straight in 7 months and have already tried talking to him about it, so I feel like he has this coming.
End
Me: 32 DH: 31 *The old lady by 5 whole weeks* Married: 11/2013 M: 6/2016 E: 5/2018
Miles doesn't STTN, and we've always fed/rocked him to sleep at night because we're serious AW for the baby's awake time. My mother watches him while I'm at work and also rocks him to sleep for his naps. Well, now he's developed night time separation anxiety and situational association, yay. He's up every hour, takes forever to settle back down if I'm up walking him around, and refuses to settle down if I sit to rock him in his glider, because that's where we've always done his MOTN feeds.
My vent comes in two folds that with all of these wakings, I'm pretty much going it solo. DH has started getting up some in the last two weeks, but he doesn't have a lot of patience and Miles doesn't much like Dad holding him between 9 pm and 7 am. Unfortunately, even though he has no patience, he has a freaking bleeding heart. He hates any CIO method and believes Miles has no ability to settle himself back down if he's been crying for more than 3 minutes at a time. You know what that means, Mom's on duty, pretty much all night long. I went to bed this morning at 3 am because that's when I finally got Miles down. When he was up crying at 4:15, I kicked DH out of bed to go get him. 20 minutes later, I was up again because I couldn't listen to DH attempting to call over Miles's cries to get him to pay attention and quiet down. DH is also against bed sharing as a semi-permanent solution, even though I explained to him that it's one of the main tenants of the No Tears sleep method. It's like he hopes a magic sand-unicorn will eventually enter our house and everything will just be peaceful and easy with sleep. Did I mention I work full time? And I'm definitely not allowed to quit my job.
Second fold is that even if we do find something that works in the evening, my mother is very independent and raised 4 kids herself, so I doubt she would follow any suggestions I make. It took 6 weeks of begging for her to move him into size 2 diapers, even when she had some available and I offered to buy her more. She just didn't think he needed them yet, at 6 months old with a near constant diaper rash.
I know they say you're never supposed to complain about your husband to other people, and I mostly try to follow that, but I haven't slept more than 4 hours straight in 7 months and have already tried talking to him about it, so I feel like he has this coming.
End
I so feel for you. Savannah is a bad sleeper too, and won't go down unless she's asleep. DH and I aren't at the CIO point yet but it is exhaustingggg, especially with nursing because it almost all falls on you.
Serious suggestion- (and I think you mentioned this before). Do you have a guest room? Because if I were you I would co-sleep in there with the baby for about a week so that you get some rest (just pop your boob in his mouth when he's upset and you guys fall back asleep together). I bet after about a week your husband will want you to come back to your room and will offer to help.
Other suggestion (and you may not like it) but can you give him pumped milk or formula at night at all? That way DH would be able to help out a little bit more.
@art&leaadye I'm so sorry you're going through this! I can relate, as we had also gotten into a position where S was waking up every hour or so all night long unless we held him. After a couple of particularly long nights we decided we were ready to sleep train. Has your H proposed any alternative solutions? I know that, for us, it got to a point where we felt ready to let S fuss a bit because we knew we couldn't sustain our current pattern much longer. But if your H isn't missing much sleep, he may not get to that point for awhile. We reached a compromise where we let S cry a bit as long as he has been happy and healthy during the day. If he has a day where he is sick or not his normal self, then we are much quicker to pick him up. It's not perfect, but his sleep has improved by leaps and bounds in the past couple of weeks.
Also, to the point about your mom, we still hold S for a lot of naps, and it doesn't seem to be hurting his nighttime ability to fall asleep too much.
Good luck to you, I know that feeling of exhaustion.
Just my 2 cents: I find that anytime I decide to do CIO (usually when I already know she's fed, changed, and is just trying to fall asleep) I set a timer and turn off the monitor. Then when the timer goes off I will turn on the monitor. Just having a time limit instead of just arbitrarily giving in when she's screaming. It's as much a time limit for me as it is for her.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
Re: Bring your venting here!
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
I asked my mom if we could not sit across from her and my dad on the train because Savannah is going to need to eat during the 80 minute ride.
Her response? Yeah I think if you could sit in a corner somewhere with Ian on the aisle seat could probably could feed her. I'm sorry, what? I will feed her no matter what as she is my baby who gets hungry, I would just prefer to not be touching knees with my father when I do so. (Adding that I do use a cover)
I don't get it! This is my mother who breastfed her kids! She's always been a little weird about and it just pisses me off. Maybe I should just do bottles all day and be incredible uncomfortable all day until I start leaking through my shirt? That sounds like a good solution *eyeroll*
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Sometimes people are so concerned about my "privacy" and I can't tell if that's all it is or if it's code for "cover up, please".
I guess she doesn't realized that times have changed since she had a baby!
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
I realized I should explain what he did. When Preston was crying during his wakings and wasn't settling right away DH stormed out of his room and shut the door on him and came back and said "screw it, he has to learn". Luckily he calmed down like two minutes later and I didn't have to go do damage control and DH texted he was sorry but I'm still miffed.
I don't understand how our husbands are right there while we are taking care of the baby, but they are oblivious to what's going on until they have to take care of the baby without us!
My husband has admitted that he never realized how impatient he truly is until we had Damien. He always felt he had the patience of a saint but quickly realized he actually needed to work on it. I give him "Daddy and me" time, which has helped a lot. He does bathtime on his own at least once a week, feeds him solids flying solo, puts him to bed on his own some nights to give me a break or to finish cooking dinner, on weekends I try to nap a bit longer so he is "on call" if Damien wakes up early from his nap, etc. He is much more calm and patient now and I think that has a lot to do with his confidence level when it comes to taking care of Damien on his own. Maybe your dh just needs a little more time doing stuff with Preston on his own.
Like with everything dh does, his new hobby has become an obsession. The last three weeks he has left at 4am on Saturday, come home at 7pm, put away his hunting gear and slept till 10-11am on Sunday, which is when we have to leave for church, than taking a nap in the afternoon because he's exhausted from the day before. If the kids and I were just hanging out at home it would be annoying, but not that different from the rest of the week. But now that DS has school and activities and friends birthday parties, and I'm involved in volunteering through church, it's just exhausting! Yesterday we had a birthday party in the morning, came home and made a side dish to take to a Christmas party that evening. Taking three kids under six and a big dish of potatoes across a parking lot, up some stairs, and into a building by yourself is no joke!
I think I've convinced him to do a half day next week so he doesn't miss DS's holiday pageant, and he won't go on Christmas weekend, so I think the worst streatch is behind us: Just needed to vent this morning!
And my hubby is the same way with hobbies! He finds something he thinks he will enjoy, buys all the shit for it, and a few months later it's collecting dust in the garage. Go figure. So far his cycling is the only thing he's stuck with, but that's because his doctor said he's borderline high cholesterol (at 28 years old!?) and needs to exercise 4+ days a week and change his diet. So I support the cycling 100%.
I had called a few wks ago to make the appt and I specifically asked if we should be starting solid foods before then. The nurse said they don't recommend starting before 6 months and the dr will talk to us about it at the appt. Well today the dr sai that we waited too long, we should have started earlier because the earlier they start eating different foods, the less likely they are to develop allergies. He said my previous dr should have told us. He also gave us instructions so quickly that my head was spinning.
I told him about our issues with our LO not taking a bottle, and I'm going back to work soon. So he told us a bunch of things we should have done (give her a bottle earlier etc). Yeah no kidding! And now he says just fight with her and eventually she'll take the bottle. Okay...
I just left so stressed and feeling like crap. I could go back to my old pediatrician but it's now a 30 minute drive vs this dr is like 10-15 minutes away. I just figured if baby was sick etc we'd like a dr that's closer. Ahhh, decisions!
Ok sorry for the rant!
Sorry you had a stressful appointment!
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Ha, it's true! There are fruits and veggies everywhere. We have a tiny kitchen too so we have absolutely no room at this point!
Edit: I just tealized you meant lining up a sitter in Italy! I'm sure that something could be worked out. My SiL's husband might be able to look into something like that with his work community. And I should present the idea of day trips and date nights in italy to my husband as an alternative nonetheless!
My vent comes in two folds that with all of these wakings, I'm pretty much going it solo. DH has started getting up some in the last two weeks, but he doesn't have a lot of patience and Miles doesn't much like Dad holding him between 9 pm and 7 am. Unfortunately, even though he has no patience, he has a freaking bleeding heart. He hates any CIO method and believes Miles has no ability to settle himself back down if he's been crying for more than 3 minutes at a time. You know what that means, Mom's on duty, pretty much all night long. I went to bed this morning at 3 am because that's when I finally got Miles down. When he was up crying at 4:15, I kicked DH out of bed to go get him. 20 minutes later, I was up again because I couldn't listen to DH attempting to call over Miles's cries to get him to pay attention and quiet down. DH is also against bed sharing as a semi-permanent solution, even though I explained to him that it's one of the main tenants of the No Tears sleep method. It's like he hopes a magic sand-unicorn will eventually enter our house and everything will just be peaceful and easy with sleep. Did I mention I work full time? And I'm definitely not allowed to quit my job.
Second fold is that even if we do find something that works in the evening, my mother is very independent and raised 4 kids herself, so I doubt she would follow any suggestions I make. It took 6 weeks of begging for her to move him into size 2 diapers, even when she had some available and I offered to buy her more. She just didn't think he needed them yet, at 6 months old with a near constant diaper rash.
I know they say you're never supposed to complain about your husband to other people, and I mostly try to follow that, but I haven't slept more than 4 hours straight in 7 months and have already tried talking to him about it, so I feel like he has this coming.
End
Married: 11/2013
M: 6/2016 E: 5/2018
Serious suggestion- (and I think you mentioned this before). Do you have a guest room? Because if I were you I would co-sleep in there with the baby for about a week so that you get some rest (just pop your boob in his mouth when he's upset and you guys fall back asleep together). I bet after about a week your husband will want you to come back to your room and will offer to help.
Other suggestion (and you may not like it) but can you give him pumped milk or formula at night at all? That way DH would be able to help out a little bit more.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Also, to the point about your mom, we still hold S for a lot of naps, and it doesn't seem to be hurting his nighttime ability to fall asleep too much.
Good luck to you, I know that feeling of exhaustion.