I had been avoiding this thread because as soon as I saw the title my brain immediately went NOPE!
All I am going to say is this: My DH would stop on his own if he did smoke because he would rather not risk doing anything to his unborn child. Even IF he decided to continue to I know 100% he would go outside without question. I think that is the best and safest idea. Lastly--if your doctor told you it was okay, and that's your reasoning for it being okay then why bother asking us? I mean really.
Pot is a sensitive subject and for many people you won't get a good response when asking about it. There is research that pot smoke IS bad for a baby (medical or not) it can cause low birth weight, premature birth, stillbirth, it may cause birth defects and mental issues. That is not something I would risk just so my DH feels a little better, and honestly if he has an issue with that then I don't want him around my child anyways.
I almost forgot about GBCB-ing. When do you think we will get called bad future or current mothers? Should we make a bingo board for all the quintessential things?
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
Meh, good riddance. If someone can't handle a bit of snark, they won't last here long anyway.
Seriously, though, my biggest issue here is the complete ignorance of science. Also, this might be the first time ever where I say I'm glad I don't live in Colorado... I don't want to be anywhere near an ob who says being around smoke is fine, cigarette or pot.
@rae. Honestly, I don't know how she thought anyone was being mean. I just saw lots of concern for exposing a baby to a drug with effects that haven't been studied on a developing fetus.
But hey, I'm sure that smoke won't drift across the room, right? Smh...
Meh, good riddance. If someone can't handle a bit of snark, they won't last here long anyway.
Seriously, though, my biggest issue here is the complete ignorance of science. Also, this might be the first time ever where I say I'm glad I don't live in Colorado... I don't want to be anywhere near an ob who says being around smoke is fine, cigarette or pot.
Don't forget the smoking in cars!
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
I'm late to this party but seriously? Asks a question that to most should have an obvious answer, ignores all but 1 response because that was the one she wanted to hear and then is all butt hurt when she updates with that nonsense and doesn't get rainbows and unicorns thrown at her? Bye Felicia
Good Lord! I don't even know where to start, and I probably shouldn't. I concede that you are right: I was not *technically* called names. Things like "crazy pills," "OP go home," "Bye Felicia," and the like are the same as calling names, just like children on a playground. If you had bothered to read my original post, you would have seen that my doctor told me that there does not seem to be a problem anecdotally, but if there seemed to be a problem, that she would recommend getting rid of it. I did not say anything about being accused of being an unfit mother. The fact that someone brought that up gives me a pretty good idea of what she thinks. Quite frankly, I don't care, either. I know me and my situation, and I do not need your thinly veiled insults and judgments. I did not "Goodbye, cruel Bump." I expressed my disappointment in this experience and voiced my hesitation to ask for help in the future. The fact that some of you are looking forward to and excited by the idea of harassing a woman, as a group, to the point that she breaks down and runs away just reaffirms my disappointment. I did not leave because I was upset. I just finished working a 14 hour day. Defending myself against words on a screen was much less of a priority than doing my job and securing a future for my family. I will not apologize for not being on your schedule and responding to you in real time.
I am not leaving this group because a few people were unnecessarily abrasive. I understand that this is a contentious issue. I understand that people have strong opinions. This question and this post was one of a multitude of research I did on this topic. I did not go into it with a decision already made. I did not 'want' a specific answer. Yes, the majority on this thread disagreed with the idea. This is not the only thread on the internet, and it is definitely not the most informational or scientific. I never promised to abide by the group decision, and I never tried to change anyone's mind to my point of view, once I had made up my mind.
I know this is just more fuel for the fire, and I fully expect to be attacked for defending myself. Have at it. I will not be reading nor responding to this thread any more. I am sure I will still see some of you around the boards, and I wish all of you well. I look forward to continuing this journey with you.
OP: please reconsider your decision to expose your baby to second hand marijuana smoke. As others above said, all the responses you received were rooted in genuine concern for your and your unborn child's health. There is scientific research proving the harmful effects. It's not controversial. Please re-read what you said in your original post regarding your doctor's advice: "She said that anecdotally, there doesn't seem to be a problem, but if we notice any abnormalities, that would be one of the first things in my environment to change."
do you see the problem here? If you notice any "abnormalities" it will, unfortunately, be too late.
Why would you even risk it?! From most of my quick research I did this morning the resounding answer was to avoid it, so not really sure where you're getting your information from and if it is a doctor that's sad. People avoid lunchmeat and caffeine during pregnancy, but sure weed is fine....???
Good Lord! I don't even know where to start, and I probably shouldn't. I concede that you are right: I was not *technically* called names. Things like "crazy pills," "OP go home," "Bye Felicia," and the like are the same as calling names, just like children on a playground. If you had bothered to read my original post, you would have seen that my doctor told me that there does not seem to be a problem anecdotally, but if there seemed to be a problem, that she would recommend getting rid of it. I did not say anything about being accused of being an unfit mother. The fact that someone brought that up gives me a pretty good idea of what she thinks. Quite frankly, I don't care, either. I know me and my situation, and I do not need your thinly veiled insults and judgments. I did not "Goodbye, cruel Bump." I expressed my disappointment in this experience and voiced my hesitation to ask for help in the future. The fact that some of you are looking forward to and excited by the idea of harassing a woman, as a group, to the point that she breaks down and runs away just reaffirms my disappointment. I did not leave because I was upset. I just finished working a 14 hour day. Defending myself against words on a screen was much less of a priority than doing my job and securing a future for my family. I will not apologize for not being on your schedule and responding to you in real time.
I am not leaving this group because a few people were unnecessarily abrasive. I understand that this is a contentious issue. I understand that people have strong opinions. This question and this post was one of a multitude of research I did on this topic. I did not go into it with a decision already made. I did not 'want' a specific answer. Yes, the majority on this thread disagreed with the idea. This is not the only thread on the internet, and it is definitely not the most informational or scientific. I never promised to abide by the group decision, and I never tried to change anyone's mind to my point of view, once I had made up my mind.
I know this is just more fuel for the fire, and I fully expect to be attacked for defending myself. Have at it. I will not be reading nor responding to this thread any more. I am sure I will still see some of you around the boards, and I wish all of you well. I look forward to continuing this journey with you.
*Technically* GO HOME OP is not name calling. But we obviously see you don't know the difference. So again I say, go home OP. And please be smarter about the situation, or don't, but don't come back here telling the rest of us that you're going to put your unborn baby at risk from the effects of your God awful desicion to sit in second hand smoke .
OP you must literally only be reading the research that says WHAT YOU WANT IT TO SAY. Have fun playing roulette with your unborn baby's health/safety/development. For his/her sake I hope nothing bad comes of it.
OP, here is another good article to the point of the ladies above. Basically says that while there isn't evidence of birth DEFECTS research does indicate higher incidences of preterm labor, low birthweight, and effects on baby's long-term health.
OP you must literally only be reading the research that says WHAT YOU WANT IT TO SAY. Have fun playing roulette with your unborn baby's health/safety/development. For his/her sake I hope nothing bad comes of it.
Agree with @Rae. You are purposefully looking for bits of research that point to what you want to hear.
There may be one or two here that may be looking for drama, but I think the majority of people on here are responding out of genuine concern for a child. I also suspect that posting such a question (where it is clear what the majority response will be) is a way of seeking out attention or drama. If you already "researched" it, asked your doctor, and don't feel that a group of moms is "informational," why did you ask this group?
Smoking pot may be controversial, but exposing an unborn child to pot smoke or other smoke is not controversial. Its common sense that it is not right, and most reasonable people do not do it.
Agree with @Rae. You are purposefully looking for bits of research that point to what you want to hear.
There may be one or two here that may be looking for drama, but I think the majority of people on here are responding out of genuine concern for a child. I also suspect that posting such a question (where it is clear what the majority response will be) is a way of seeking out attention or drama. If you already "researched" it, asked your doctor, and don't feel that a group of moms is "informational," why did you ask this group?
Smoking pot may be controversial, but exposing an unborn child to pot smoke or other smoke is not controversial. Its common sense that it is not right, and most reasonable people do not do it.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmn I missed the dramz.
I did just read through it all, and I am making the judicious decision that there was no name calling, just a little deserved condescension, and major eye-roll (from all). So sorry OP you didn't hear what you wanted to hear, but when you ask a question sometimes you don't like the answer.
I am always repeating this to my kids: I gave you an answer, so sorry it wasn't the one you wanted to hear.
OP: please reconsider your decision to expose your baby to second hand marijuana smoke. As others above said, all the responses you received were rooted in genuine concern for your and your unborn child's health. There is scientific research proving the harmful effects. It's not controversial. Please re-read what you said in your original post regarding your doctor's advice: "She said that anecdotally, there doesn't seem to be a problem, but if we notice any abnormalities, that would be one of the first things in my environment to change."
do you see the problem here? If you notice any "abnormalities" it will, unfortunately, be too late.
THIS. Thank you, @mj8215, for saying exactly what I was going to say. OP, I know you say you aren't coming back to read these, but on the off-chance you do, why would you wait until you have noticed abnormalities (when it will likely be too late) to change this situation? Is it REALLY worth it to risk your baby's future when you could ask your husband to go outside?
I am not coming from a place of judgement, or trying to be mean or run you off. I just know that I've wanted a baby for a LONG time, and know many, many other women both here and on TTGP who have wanted babies for a long time who would do ANYTHING to make sure their baby had the best chance to thrive. So you have to understand that this "if we notice any abnormalities, we'll change the situation" mentality is going to hit a nerve with a lot of mamas and hopeful mamas who are willing to give up anything for a healthy baby. Again, I ask, who does it hurt to ask your husband to take it outside?
I do really, truly hope that your LO is born healthy. And I hope that you find support on these boards. But in this specific situation, I just cannot support something that is so potentially harmful with such a simple solution.
Wow, what a thread. What's funny is my DH came home right as I finished reading all of this and said someone gave him a little green (it's legal here too) and could he smoke it in the other room with the window open and fan on. I almost caved but then I remembered all the internet shade and said sorry, the bump says you better go sit in your car! Lol.
I just wanna say, go easy on @sehp8b, it's not like she's smoking it herself! I've seen plenty of pregnant women smoke cigarettes their entire pregnancy, it could be worse. But I have a serious question, my friend was a fan of MJ when she got pregnant (many years ago), told her dr as much (even though she of course stopped once she got preggo) and the dr straight up told her that they would drug test her baby and if there was any trace of marijuana CPS would take the baby. Was her dr just trying to scare her? Or are things different now that MJ is legal?
@Manda95816 the drug testing itself is a thing for sure. I was drug tested at least once in both of my previous pregnancies. I think if you test positive at some point during your pregnancy they may test you and baby at delivery ( might test at delivery anyway). And CPS would probably be involved. (Which doesn't NECESSARILY mean take the baby but observation, visitation... Who knows?)
It'll be state by state, but most of the laws around weed are age of majority I think, so I could see even where pot is legal the baby testing positive could be deemed child endangerment.
It's a gray area for a lot of things right now, not just pregnancy.
In my state if you test positive every they continue to test you at every prenantal. If there are any positives even for marijuana CPS is called. It is not legal in my state.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
I'm not white knighting but it's interesting to see how fierce people are coming out against this. There are many references to studies, and many of the references say "not enough studies" and many say "studies clearly show it's bad." Which is it? No one is posting a study directly. I enjoy the Bump but their "articles" aren't science and many of them are pretty eye-roll worthy.
I personally wouldn't sit in a room with any smoke. I personally don't think it's healthy or responsible for the baby. I personally think OP shouldn't be near any smoke. But there's a level of passion about all this that genuinely surprises me.
I also think a lot of this is cultural. (And yes, I know that is not an excuse.) In places where marijuana is super common or legal, there is way less controversy and it's just around and a fact of life. I'm not saying that's good or right, just that it can shape OP's mentality so that she wonders about it in the same way that many of you absolutely do not even wonder because in your culture it is strictly forbidden and illegal, end of story. Obviously there will be exceptions to the culture analogy.
Anyway, +1 for the "don't do it" vote. It will be interesting to see whether there's the same outrage in 3rd trimester when pregnant women admit to the occasional glass of wine. Science has some similarly various opinions on that topic, and I also think there's a big role of culture in that topic, too.
OP - I think this Community is generally supportive in situations of health crises and situations that aren't people's fault, but less supportive and more analytical when people are making decisions for themselves. Or that's been my own personal experience. Wishing you a very healthy pregnancy!
I'm not white knighting but it's interesting to see how fierce people are coming out against this. There are many references to studies, and many of the references say "not enough studies" and many say "studies clearly show it's bad." Which is it? No one is posting a study directly. I enjoy the Bump but their "articles" aren't science and many of them are pretty eye-roll worthy.
I personally wouldn't sit in a room with any smoke. I personally don't think it's healthy or responsible for the baby. I personally think OP shouldn't be near any smoke. But there's a level of passion about all this that genuinely surprises me.
I also think a lot of this is cultural. (And yes, I know that is not an excuse.) In places where marijuana is super common or legal, there is way less controversy and it's just around and a fact of life. I'm not saying that's good or right, just that it can shape OP's mentality so that she wonders about it in the same way that many of you absolutely do not even wonder because in your culture it is strictly forbidden and illegal, end of story. Obviously there will be exceptions to the culture analogy.
Anyway, +1 for the "don't do it" vote. It will be interesting to see whether there's the same outrage in 3rd trimester when pregnant women admit to the occasional glass of wine. Science has some similarly various opinions on that topic, and I also think there's a big role of culture in that topic, too.
OP - I think this Community is generally supportive in situations of health crises and situations that aren't people's fault, but less supportive and more analytical when people are making decisions for themselves. Or that's been my own personal experience. Wishing you a very healthy pregnancy!
It goes into a lot of the molecular mechanisms behind cannabinoid signaling and fetal development.
Sure, not all clinical research shows significant differences in outcomes (for example, for the sake of completeness and unbiased scientific reporting, there is this recent meta analysis which concluded that negative effects may be due to confounding factors https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/27607879/?i=7&from=marijuana pregnancy )
but to me, as a physician and scientist, if we have solid basic science data highlighting the pathophysiologic mechanisms, why hang on to the one study that didn't find a statistically significant clinical impact instead of being careful?! It's basically like saying "smoking isn't bad for you because I know this one guy who smoked 100 pack years and lived to be 100 years old!"
Seeing that this thread had 44 new replies since my last look, I had to click again. I missed all the drama but wow. All I have to say is OP I truly and honestly hope that your unborn child is born healthy and the rest of your pregnancy continues normally. But please, please reconsider the risk, and the science. A developing fetus is nowhere close to being as resilient as a fully developed adult, especially to any kind of drug. Even high amounts of caffeine can do harm, probably the most well-known, widely used drug there is. Please reconsider your decision. For the sake of the developing lungs and organs of the little one inside you!
@mj8215 - I think the confusion on research is more that there isn't much research in affects on an unborn baby. However, there are plenty of studies on affects on an adult. If it negatively affects an adult, it will obviously also affect that adult's unborn child if she's pregnant.
Manda95816 I am in Ohio (where it's not legal) and my sister is a foster mom. She actually currently has a baby (10 weeks) that was taken from the mother at the hospital because they both tested positive for marijuana (yes, the baby tested positive at birth - which further proves my point above). Typically, if that is the 'only' reason for the CPS involvement, the mother would simply have to follow a case plan and complete certain tasks (parenting classes, drug screenings, etc.) to get the baby back. But it just all depends. I am honestly not sure how it works in states where it's legal, but if the baby tests positive I would assume it would work the same. ETA - I don't know the laws, but I can't imagine it's legal to get your kids high, even if it's legal for an adult to smoke.
I don't agree with purposefully exposing oneself and one's baby to smoke during pregnancy. I would personally ask my SO to step out to smoke. But I am also side-eyeing some of the opinions that people have about how dangerous marijuana is in general.
In DC, CPS is not even called for a positive drug screen for marijuana in the mother. Social work is called for a positive screen for both mother and baby, but usually the case is not referred to CPS unless other drugs are involved or if there is more than one social issue. This was true even before marijuana was legalized there. And furthermore, several NICUs/hospitals in my area will actually allow mothers to give breastmilk to their babies if they smoke marijuana, but they have to sign a waiver before doing so that says that there may be a very slight risk involved.
I'm new to this whole thing - just 7 wks with my first baby- and I can honestly say I'm disappointed in what I saw here. The OP came in looking for advice - that's all she was looking for - and shared her conclusion and then she was ridiculed for making her own decision. Sure it isn't the decision I would've made, but she's in discussion with her doctor and has the freedom to choose what she's believes is best.
One of you said that the OP was "butt hurt" but in reality, I think the negativity of you posters shows what being butt hurt looks like. You don't like that she didn't take her advice, because your way is the only way, and you now have the right to basically tell her what an idiot she is??
Some of you had very thoughtful, considerate comments. Which is what I thought this forum was about. Others - sorry for the cliche - were bullies.
It's disgusting. And you can laugh at me if you want, but I'll be the first one to say Goodbye Bump. I don't want community with a bunch of snarky, judgmental people. I'd rather not have community than be "what the fucked" for deciding what I believe is best for my baby.
@missymoore912 like, are we being punked? In what world is second hand marijuana smoke 'what is best for' ANY baby?! Seriously?! This isn't a conversation about what car seat we think is best or how to discipline a child. It's about exposing an unborn baby to a drug. Whether it's bad or not isn't an opinion, it's a fact.
I feel like I have been very respectful and given constructive advice in a time where I really wanted to just shake the OP and ask what the fuck was wrong with her. But now I am just mad. You want to accuse us of being bullies and leave because we have strong feelings about a question that SHOULD NOT EVEN BE A QUESTION, then bye. I won't miss you. It's disgusting that someone can think it's OK for a pregnant person to be around pot smoke.
What the actual fuck? How in the hell is second hand smoke from anything what is best for an unborn baby?! This is batshit and the fact that op is going to wait for any abnormalities to come up is ridiculous! I don't care that she has her own opinion whatever but the fact that OP openly said "if any abnormalities come up" uhh if that's even a possibility why the hell would you even risk it?
Married: 05/26/2012
DS Born Happy and Healthy via C-section: 10/04/2013
Natural M/C: 07/08/2014
DD Born Happy and Healthy via Emergency C-section: 06/30/2015
I'm new to this whole thing - just 7 wks with my first baby- and I can honestly say I'm disappointed in what I saw here. The OP came in looking for advice - that's all she was looking for - and shared her conclusion and then she was ridiculed for making her own decision. Sure it isn't the decision I would've made, but she's in discussion with her doctor and has the freedom to choose what she's believes is best.
One of you said that the OP was "butt hurt" but in reality, I think the negativity of you posters shows what being butt hurt looks like. You don't like that she didn't take her advice, because your way is the only way, and you now have the right to basically tell her what an idiot she is??
Some of you had very thoughtful, considerate comments. Which is what I thought this forum was about. Others - sorry for the cliche - were bullies.
It's disgusting. And you can laugh at me if you want, but I'll be the first one to say Goodbye Bump. I don't want community with a bunch of snarky, judgmental people. I'd rather not have community than be "what the fucked" for deciding what I believe is best for my baby.
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
I don't agree with her decision, and it concerns me for her baby that she is willing be around second hand smoke, but when a genuine question is asked why does this have to become of a place of shame? You can almost guarantee the OP will never ask another question. And she has a hell of a lot of pregnancy ahead of her. And she, and I, have now lost what could've been an engaging community.
Plenty of people told her she shouldn't do it without condescending her. I guess I just don't understand what this online community is all about.
I don't agree with her decision, and it concerns me for her baby that she is willing be around second hand smoke, but when a genuine question is asked why does this have to become of a place of shame? You can almost guarantee the OP will never ask another question. And she has a hell of a lot of pregnancy ahead of her. And she, and I, have now lost what could've been an engaging community.
Plenty of people told her she shouldn't do it without condescending her. I guess I just don't understand what this online community is all about.
@missymoore912 the reason for the snark towards her is because she is making a reckless decision that is dangerous to the tiny life inside her. Which is incredibly frustrating to those of us that would completely change any aspect of our lives to create a safer environment for our babies.
The reason for the snark towards you is because you are coming on here and white-knighting, calling us bullies and saying you are going to leave, all because you can't handle a little debate/snark. It's the internet, people can say whatever they want. And in all honestly, this is WAY TAMER than I expected it to be when I saw it originally.
OP how have you done research and come to your own conclusions, when research in pregnant women has not been done? Are you running your on personal clinical trial.
People are not supporting you because what you are suggesting is dangerous and reckless to the development of your unborn child. It is like hitting another car while driving drunk and getting upset that no one is supporting you or respecting your decision to drive drunk.
It is 9 months it is not that hard for your SO to suck it up and smoke outside, what is he going to todo when baby comes?
Oooh oh oh! Everybody get out your bingo cards. Because this is a community!!! GUISE! Come on, don't snark the OP. *sarcasm*
A community is place where you give support to get support. OP's post history is mostly me, me, me. No experiences shared to help another, no offering support when another poster is going through a rough time.
FWIW: I had a friend that smoked (pot and cigarettes) and drank through her two pregnancies. I helped deliver her second on Christmas Eve - in her living room (many years ago - I was young and dumb - I was probably stoned). Her two children are perfect (well, as any kid can be). I have another friend that "cut her smoking and drinking in half" while pregnant...her daughter is lovely. So yes, these are incidences when everything turned out just fine. - Keep reading -
There is no way for science to predict what precise exposure level is "good, ok, or bad". What mom-to-be would, in her right mind, sign up to expose her baby to ANY level of toxin to help establish a harm threshold? Seriously? That's why finding a wealth of scientific evidence is impossible. There are correlation studies to read...there are plenty of anecdotal stories (much like those I posted)...but if you have to ask such a question (in regards to your baby's development) perhaps being "ultra conservative" is the answer. If it is unethical to study the effects of such teratogens on a developing human fetus (I'm talking full blown, controlled, human study) why would you do your own at home half-baked study? Keep digging on the internet - you will certainly find another that agrees with your opinion.
I am not sitting in judgment. I have my own struggles. But I'm not going to open a thread asking if it is "OK to have a cigarette or two each day" - I know the answer.
But I think I may have to open a thread asking about favorite recipes for padsicles. And hemorrhoid relief - when the time comes
* TW * Me: 34 DH:38 (Married Sept 2014) TTC since May 2015 IUI #1: July 2016 - BFN IUI #2: August 2016 - BFN IVF #1: Stims 10/21/16, ER 11/02/2016 (5 follies, 5 fert), ET 11/07/2016 (2 blast xfer, 3 frosties) BFP 11/11/2-16!! (4dp5dt) Beta #1 (7dp5dt) = 30 Beta #2 (9dp5dt) = 66 Beta #3 (11dp5dt) = 130
Re: Second Hand Weed Smoke
I had been avoiding this thread because as soon as I saw the title my brain immediately went NOPE!
All I am going to say is this:
My DH would stop on his own if he did smoke because he would rather not risk doing anything to his unborn child. Even IF he decided to continue to I know 100% he would go outside without question. I think that is the best and safest idea. Lastly--if your doctor told you it was okay, and that's your reasoning for it being okay then why bother asking us? I mean really.
Pot is a sensitive subject and for many people you won't get a good response when asking about it. There is research that pot smoke IS bad for a baby (medical or not) it can cause low birth weight, premature birth, stillbirth, it may cause birth defects and mental issues. That is not something I would risk just so my DH feels a little better, and honestly if he has an issue with that then I don't want him around my child anyways.
*pearls clutched*
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
Seriously, though, my biggest issue here is the complete ignorance of science. Also, this might be the first time ever where I say I'm glad I don't live in Colorado... I don't want to be anywhere near an ob who says being around smoke is fine, cigarette or pot.
Dating: 12/21/2001
Married: 09/08/2012
BFP: 11/16/2016 EDD: 07/27/2017
Baby Fish born: 08/01/2017
But hey, I'm sure that smoke won't drift across the room, right? Smh...
Dating: 12/21/2001
Married: 09/08/2012
BFP: 11/16/2016 EDD: 07/27/2017
Baby Fish born: 08/01/2017
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
I am not leaving this group because a few people were unnecessarily abrasive. I understand that this is a contentious issue. I understand that people have strong opinions. This question and this post was one of a multitude of research I did on this topic. I did not go into it with a decision already made. I did not 'want' a specific answer. Yes, the majority on this thread disagreed with the idea. This is not the only thread on the internet, and it is definitely not the most informational or scientific. I never promised to abide by the group decision, and I never tried to change anyone's mind to my point of view, once I had made up my mind.
I know this is just more fuel for the fire, and I fully expect to be attacked for defending myself. Have at it. I will not be reading nor responding to this thread any more. I am sure I will still see some of you around the boards, and I wish all of you well. I look forward to continuing this journey with you.
please reconsider your decision to expose your baby to second hand marijuana smoke. As others above said, all the responses you received were rooted in genuine concern for your and your unborn child's health. There is scientific research proving the harmful effects. It's not controversial.
Please re-read what you said in your original post regarding your doctor's advice:
"She said that anecdotally, there doesn't seem to be a problem, but if we notice any abnormalities, that would be one of the first things in my environment to change."
do you see the problem here? If you notice any "abnormalities" it will, unfortunately, be too late.
From most of my quick research I did this morning the resounding answer was to avoid it, so not really sure where you're getting your information from and if it is a doctor that's sad. People avoid lunchmeat and caffeine during pregnancy, but sure weed is fine....???
"In short, marijuana during pregnancy (including secondhand pot smoke) should be viewed the same as any other illicit drug, and be avoided at all costs."
https://www.pregnancyandbaby.com/pregnancy/articles/937071/secondhand-toke-marijuana-pregnancy
Eta: gif not working. ugh.
https://www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy/marijuana/
There may be one or two here that may be looking for drama, but I think the majority of people on here are responding out of genuine concern for a child. I also suspect that posting such a question (where it is clear what the majority response will be) is a way of seeking out attention or drama. If you already "researched" it, asked your doctor, and don't feel that a group of moms is "informational," why did you ask this group?
Smoking pot may be controversial, but exposing an unborn child to pot smoke or other smoke is not controversial. Its common sense that it is not right, and most reasonable people do not do it.
I did just read through it all, and I am making the judicious decision that there was no name calling, just a little deserved condescension, and major eye-roll (from all). So sorry OP you didn't hear what you wanted to hear, but when you ask a question sometimes you don't like the answer.
I am always repeating this to my kids: I gave you an answer, so sorry it wasn't the one you wanted to hear.
Always listen to your doctor!
Married: 6/27/2008
DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
M/C 6/2012
DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE!
M/C 12/12/2016
BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
EDD: 7/2/2018
I am not coming from a place of judgement, or trying to be mean or run you off. I just know that I've wanted a baby for a LONG time, and know many, many other women both here and on TTGP who have wanted babies for a long time who would do ANYTHING to make sure their baby had the best chance to thrive. So you have to understand that this "if we notice any abnormalities, we'll change the situation" mentality is going to hit a nerve with a lot of mamas and hopeful mamas who are willing to give up anything for a healthy baby. Again, I ask, who does it hurt to ask your husband to take it outside?
I do really, truly hope that your LO is born healthy. And I hope that you find support on these boards. But in this specific situation, I just cannot support something that is so potentially harmful with such a simple solution.
Dating: 12/21/2001
Married: 09/08/2012
BFP: 11/16/2016 EDD: 07/27/2017
Baby Fish born: 08/01/2017
I just wanna say, go easy on @sehp8b, it's not like she's smoking it herself! I've seen plenty of pregnant women smoke cigarettes their entire pregnancy, it could be worse. But I have a serious question, my friend was a fan of MJ when she got pregnant (many years ago), told her dr as much (even though she of course stopped once she got preggo) and the dr straight up told her that they would drug test her baby and if there was any trace of marijuana CPS would take the baby. Was her dr just trying to scare her? Or are things different now that MJ is legal?
It'll be state by state, but most of the laws around weed are age of majority I think, so I could see even where pot is legal the baby testing positive could be deemed child endangerment.
It's a gray area for a lot of things right now, not just pregnancy.
I personally wouldn't sit in a room with any smoke. I personally don't think it's healthy or responsible for the baby. I personally think OP shouldn't be near any smoke. But there's a level of passion about all this that genuinely surprises me.
I also think a lot of this is cultural. (And yes, I know that is not an excuse.) In places where marijuana is super common or legal, there is way less controversy and it's just around and a fact of life. I'm not saying that's good or right, just that it can shape OP's mentality so that she wonders about it in the same way that many of you absolutely do not even wonder because in your culture it is strictly forbidden and illegal, end of story. Obviously there will be exceptions to the culture analogy.
Anyway, +1 for the "don't do it" vote. It will be interesting to see whether there's the same outrage in 3rd trimester when pregnant women admit to the occasional glass of wine. Science has some similarly various opinions on that topic, and I also think there's a big role of culture in that topic, too.
OP - I think this Community is generally supportive in situations of health crises and situations that aren't people's fault, but less supportive and more analytical when people are making decisions for themselves. Or that's been my own personal experience. Wishing you a very healthy pregnancy!
Recent review from BMC Pharmacol Toxicol.
It goes into a lot of the molecular mechanisms behind cannabinoid signaling and fetal development.
Sure, not all clinical research shows significant differences in outcomes (for example, for the sake of completeness and unbiased scientific reporting, there is this recent meta analysis which concluded that negative effects may be due to confounding factors https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/27607879/?i=7&from=marijuana pregnancy )
but to me, as a physician and scientist, if we have solid basic science data highlighting the pathophysiologic mechanisms, why hang on to the one study that didn't find a statistically significant clinical impact instead of being careful?!
It's basically like saying "smoking isn't bad for you because I know this one guy who smoked 100 pack years and lived to be 100 years old!"
ok, getting of my soapbox.
Manda95816 I am in Ohio (where it's not legal) and my sister is a foster mom. She actually currently has a baby (10 weeks) that was taken from the mother at the hospital because they both tested positive for marijuana (yes, the baby tested positive at birth - which further proves my point above). Typically, if that is the 'only' reason for the CPS involvement, the mother would simply have to follow a case plan and complete certain tasks (parenting classes, drug screenings, etc.) to get the baby back. But it just all depends. I am honestly not sure how it works in states where it's legal, but if the baby tests positive I would assume it would work the same. ETA - I don't know the laws, but I can't imagine it's legal to get your kids high, even if it's legal for an adult to smoke.
In DC, CPS is not even called for a positive drug screen for marijuana in the mother. Social work is called for a positive screen for both mother and baby, but usually the case is not referred to CPS unless other drugs are involved or if there is more than one social issue. This was true even before marijuana was legalized there. And furthermore, several NICUs/hospitals in my area will actually allow mothers to give breastmilk to their babies if they smoke marijuana, but they have to sign a waiver before doing so that says that there may be a very slight risk involved.
One of you said that the OP was "butt hurt" but in reality, I think the negativity of you posters shows what being butt hurt looks like. You don't like that she didn't take her advice, because your way is the only way, and you now have the right to basically tell her what an idiot she is??
Some of you had very thoughtful, considerate comments. Which is what I thought this forum was about. Others - sorry for the cliche - were bullies.
It's disgusting. And you can laugh at me if you want, but I'll be the first one to say Goodbye Bump. I don't want community with a bunch of snarky, judgmental people. I'd rather not have community than be "what the fucked" for deciding what I believe is best for my baby.
like, are we being punked? In what world is second hand marijuana smoke 'what is best for' ANY baby?! Seriously?! This isn't a conversation about what car seat we think is best or how to discipline a child. It's about exposing an unborn baby to a drug. Whether it's bad or not isn't an opinion, it's a fact.
I feel like I have been very respectful and given constructive advice in a time where I really wanted to just shake the OP and ask what the fuck was wrong with her. But now I am just mad. You want to accuse us of being bullies and leave because we have strong feelings about a question that SHOULD NOT EVEN BE A QUESTION, then bye. I won't miss you. It's disgusting that someone can think it's OK for a pregnant person to be around pot smoke.
Married: 05/26/2012
DS Born Happy and Healthy via C-section: 10/04/2013
Natural M/C: 07/08/2014
DD Born Happy and Healthy via Emergency C-section: 06/30/2015
BFP #4: 11/15/2016
EDD: 7/27/2017
Highly monitored internet and no cell service in the office, so I'm postin' and ghostin' while I'm workin'
People like @kat0607, @virginiaunicorn11 and @mj8215 were all able to articulate their feelings without shaming her.
I don't agree with her decision, and it concerns me for her baby that she is willing be around second hand smoke, but when a genuine question is asked why does this have to become of a place of shame? You can almost guarantee the OP will never ask another question. And she has a hell of a lot of pregnancy ahead of her. And she, and I, have now lost what could've been an engaging community.
Plenty of people told her she shouldn't do it without condescending her. I guess I just don't understand what this online community is all about.
The reason for the snark towards you is because you are coming on here and white-knighting, calling us bullies and saying you are going to leave, all because you can't handle a little debate/snark. It's the internet, people can say whatever they want. And in all honestly, this is WAY TAMER than I expected it to be when I saw it originally.
ETA - meme cause I like them ok
People are not supporting you because what you are suggesting is dangerous and reckless to the development of your unborn child. It is like hitting another car while driving drunk and getting upset that no one is supporting you or respecting your decision to drive drunk.
It is 9 months it is not that hard for your SO to suck it up and smoke outside, what is he going to todo when baby comes?
A community is place where you give support to get support. OP's post history is mostly me, me, me. No experiences shared to help another, no offering support when another poster is going through a rough time.
Take that community talk somewhere it applies.
FWIW: I had a friend that smoked (pot and cigarettes) and drank through her two pregnancies. I helped deliver her second on Christmas Eve - in her living room (many years ago - I was young and dumb - I was probably stoned). Her two children are perfect (well, as any kid can be). I have another friend that "cut her smoking and drinking in half" while pregnant...her daughter is lovely. So yes, these are incidences when everything turned out just fine. - Keep reading -
There is no way for science to predict what precise exposure level is "good, ok, or bad". What mom-to-be would, in her right mind, sign up to expose her baby to ANY level of toxin to help establish a harm threshold? Seriously? That's why finding a wealth of scientific evidence is impossible. There are correlation studies to read...there are plenty of anecdotal stories (much like those I posted)...but if you have to ask such a question (in regards to your baby's development) perhaps being "ultra conservative" is the answer. If it is unethical to study the effects of such teratogens on a developing human fetus (I'm talking full blown, controlled, human study) why would you do your own at home half-baked study? Keep digging on the internet - you will certainly find another that agrees with your opinion.
I am not sitting in judgment. I have my own struggles. But I'm not going to open a thread asking if it is "OK to have a cigarette or two each day" - I know the answer.
But I think I may have to open a thread asking about favorite recipes for padsicles. And hemorrhoid relief - when the time comes
Me: 34 DH:38 (Married Sept 2014)
TTC since May 2015
IUI #1: July 2016 - BFN
IUI #2: August 2016 - BFN
IVF #1: Stims 10/21/16, ER 11/02/2016 (5 follies, 5 fert),
ET 11/07/2016 (2 blast xfer, 3 frosties)
BFP 11/11/2-16!! (4dp5dt) Beta #1 (7dp5dt) = 30 Beta #2 (9dp5dt) = 66 Beta #3 (11dp5dt) = 130