@RainyDays86 You can do it! I'm afraid at our anatomy scan in a couple weeks they'll accidentally spill the beans. It's going to be so fun not knowing and going through the hard work of labor to hear "Its a ___!"
This...I'm afraid to do our scan also because I just have this feeling that they won't ask if we want to know and they'll just tell us! For the most part we are team green and I already have most of the planning done as team green, but there's that small part of me that wants to know. But I want to be the one that determines that, not the tech! That reminds me, I should probably find out if that kind of information will be in my online chart since I read it all the time!
@RainyDays86 and @nda_roxybabe, I am totally in awe of your willpower! (And all the others on team green!) We toyed with it for a few seconds but I have the patience of a toddler and knew it would drive me crazy the whole pregnancy. Can't wait for the big reveal from you both in a few months time!!
@absbubbs I'm going to remind the tech the minute they walk into the room. Then once my Dr. walks in I'm going to remind her too.
My dental hygienist was telling me they were team green at the tech at the NT scan took a guess and told them, though they didn't want to know. Then, on top of that when they did the anatomy scan the very first shot to appear on the screen was the "hello, I am indeed a boy" shot.
I'm going to keep my head turned away until they assure me it's clear to look. Not that I'd necessarily be able to know on an US, but just in case!
@nda_roxybabe ughh...I'll definitely have to take note of that! Like why is it so hard to ask first???? Also, now I want some McDonald's fries. Not fair. lol
@Kipperoo My H decided several years ago (when his sister was team green with her first) that he wanted to be team green someday too. I was not for it, at all. I mean, I have clothes to buy and a nursery to decorate! Well, now he has had me on board for about 2 years now. We've got our awesome gender neutral nursery theme picked out and I'll buy girly or boyish stuff once baby is born!
@Kipperoo I could not fathom being team green my last pregnancy. There was just no way. But then after I had DS I met a bunch of moms who were team green and started thinking about it. We decided to do it before we got pregnant and I think I'm stubborn enough to do it. @nda_roxybabe that is a good idea about reminding them before the scan even starts. My hope is that they'll then tell us to look away when the time comes because I think if it is a boy I'll be able to tell, having been there before. And that's a great reminder about how it will be so cool to find out in the delivery room.
@RainyDays86, I don't know if it's the same for your doctor, but ours said that they don't put the gender in the file. We were team green last time and he never made any gender mention. We won't be this time, so we'all see if he knows or mentions it.
May Siggy Challenge: Labor Memes
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10 DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI) BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
My sister in law went in for a follow up ultrasound today based on poor growth at her initial appointment. Unfortunately she's out and now we won't have the 2 little cousins so close in age. I am so sad for her and my brother.
I know a while back we had a conversation about meal planning, and some people were talking about blue apron. This code came in the mail, and it expires tomorrow! I will not be using it, so if anyone else wants it, here it is.
@Kipperoo I don't have the patience for Team Green either! I mentioned being interested to my husband and he just laughed at me. Then at our 13 week scan, the tech asked if we wanted a guess and I was basically jumping up and down in excitement that he would try to check lol
@Wildflowers and Ferns and @lulubemadness Oh man, I feel you. I was violently sick until 17 weeks with my first, so maybe it'll randomly get better for you? I was told I might be in for the long haul too (plus, my mom was sick all throughout 4 out of 5 pregnancies so I was doubly worried) but it ended up going away eventually. Just wanted to give you hope though that it might not last forever!
@kat81 Sidenote - did you hear that they're supposed to be shrinking the size of Toblerone bars? My family loves them and were all outraged lol
Does anyone have any experience traveling out of country with a baby under 1? My sister is getting married in Thailand next year (baby will be about 5 months old) and I REALLY REALLY want to go (it would check off 3 things on my bucket list: the Dhara Dhevi resort, the TECC Elephant Sanctuary, and releasing a floating lantern at a lantern festival!!!). However, my husband is adamant that he won't go if it's not safe (since she won't have all her vaccinations). I heard that you can do an accelerated vaccination schedule, but I don't know if they can do it that much earlier. I'll be asking our pediatrician when I see him in January for my son, but anyone know anything about the safety of traveling outside the US? Or is it just a silly idea altogether to try to fly with a 5 month old and almost 3 year old on a maybe 16 hour flight (if we had no layovers)?
All of you ladies staying Team Green, I can't even imagine that! It was never even a thought for me not to find out. However, after seeing an early post on this board about how Team Green parents get better non-gendered gifts, we are keeping the sex a secret from everyone else. We're both adamant about not wanting to force gender stereotypes on our kid(s), so this will be a good way to avoid "little princess" onesies and such right off the bat. I'm not that girly myself, either, so pink isn't a favorite. Plus, I'm excited that it will be a surprise for our family at the birth.
@RainyDays86 we are also Team Green after finding out with DD! I have had no urge to know and MH and family are shocked since I was so adamant about knowing the first time. Do you find that it's hard or that you're really not thinking about it?
All of you ladies staying Team Green, I can't even imagine that! It was never even a thought for me not to find out. However, after seeing an early post on this board about how Team Green parents get better non-gendered gifts, we are keeping the sex a secret from everyone else. We're both adamant about not wanting to force gender stereotypes on our kid(s), so this will be a good way to avoid "little princess" onesies and such right off the bat. I'm not that girly myself, either, so pink isn't a favorite. Plus, I'm excited that it will be a surprise for our family at the birth.
Yes these are GREAT reasons to be team green. If you two can really keep it a secret from others, that is the best of both worlds! Though we also like being surprised ourselves, so we don't mind being team green the entire way. I also enjoy speculating. I was right with the first two. We'll see if I can keep it up for this one.
@Jbananas4 I don't have any tips but we are going to Europe for almost a month the end of June...so basically 6 weeks from EDD. Ive asked my doctor and a pediatrician (though not our personal pedi) and neither had any concern as long as there was no complications or concerns at delivery.
I was team green with DD. She was our first kid so it was easy. And finding out at birth was so awesome. This time around we're finding out. We already think it's a boy after our NT scan. I wasn't really interested in being team green this time and i have no idea why. It really was such a cool experience.
@kat81 So far, it's been easy to keep it a secret from others! Our families have been very respectful of our decision and haven't pried at all. And since we haven't gotten in the habit of calling her a "her" to anyone, it's been easy to continue generic pronouns.
@starphish18 avoiding gender stereotyped clothing is a great reason to keep it a secret. I think that's especially true if you have a girl. I am also not girly at all and would be super annoyed to receive a bunch of very pink, flowery, princess things. @achays11 I hadn't found it hard at all until the call yesterday. I imagine the anatomy scan will be hard as well. And my family is also shocked, and in some cases indignant, that we aren't finding out this time.
I wish someone would tell my 3yo about avoiding gender stereotypes. Despite all my efforts, she insists on wearing a dress every day and told my dad that she wants to be a princess when she grows up. Ugh.
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot oh we have found the same thing with DS. With no push from us he very early became obsessed with trucks, trains, boats, etc. Basically anything with an engine. I think it's funny how there is definitely some truth to the stereotypes in plenty of kids. But speaking as a kid who hated dolls, dresses, the color pink, etc., I think it's a different story when the kid naturally gravitates toward stuff versus having it pushed on them from the beginning.
I hate the color pink and don't like dresses. I received so many for DD and everything that people gave us was pink. Sure enough her favorite color is pink and she will ask to wear dresses to school!
@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot that sounds so much like my older daughter! She is rough and tumble, loves trash trucks and dinosaurs, loves to wear tutus and flannel, loves playing in the mud, has tea parties for her dolls, and her favorite color is pink! (And yes, I realize that was a ridiculously long sentence.) I am not at all a girly-girl, but I tend to let her pick her own clothes so that my style isn't forced on her! Little sister already seems like she's going to be the same way.
This isn't in response to anyone - the gender convo made me think of it, but I'm with you that I wish we could keep it a secret from family so that they don't push gender stereotypes on our kid. I'm just bad at keeping secrets, so I know I can't. But anyways, has anyone seen this video? It's hilarious and definitely reminds me of some of my friends.
I wish someone would tell my 3yo about avoiding gender stereotypes. Despite all my efforts, she insists on wearing a dress every day and told my dad that she wants to be a princess when she grows up. Ugh.
Yeah we are super anti-gendering but our 3 yr old girl LOVES dresses and princesses and pink and purple. I've decided to just go along with her interests even though I was NEVER into that stuff myself. I'm glad that she came to it more naturally, though, than having it forced on her early (otoh she's been in daycare since just a few months old so it probably was forced on her there.) My son is another example of this. He happened to have zero vehicles as toys for a long time in his life, but before he was 1 he developed an obsession with construction, trucks, and cars in spite of this. He did this naturally as well, though there was a lot of construction going on between our house and daycare (a walking route) and I know that contributed.
All of this said, when my son was 2 he developed an interest in pink and dresses. We got this stuff for him and he actually wore pink shoes to school every day. I don't think a lot of parents would be willing to do this. He eventually eschewed it around age 4 because of society ("that's for girls!!!") but never really gave it up, either. Right now there are a bunch of "girly" things he's interested in (like sticker books where you dress fairies/princesses) and he knows they are girly but is happy to express those interests in the comfort of his home. Sadly, he makes a point of not taking those books out to school to show to his friends, unlike his superhero books. He knows gender roles well.
The way I see it, you should expose your kid to everything and let them decide. It seems like most kids naturally go the route predicted by their gender, but it's important to know that a) you and others are more likely to notice this than the opposite, b) you are probably gendering your kid even if you mean not to, and c) even if you are not gendering them everyone else is, especially if your kid is in daycare/preschool. This is why, if anything, we encourage opposite-gender stuff with our kids because we know in all other contexts everyone is reinforcing their genders constantly.
The reality is that most kids conform to gender stereotypes on some things and go opposite them on some other things. This is definitely true for both of our kids (along with her princess stuff, DD likes watching football and loves building -- DS likes neither of these things.)
I'm not really sure if we are anti-gender or just don't really care what the kids play with. DS's favorite toys are cars, dinosaurs, a baby doll (he's going to be a bad ass big brother), and the little people Belle and princess castle. DD is all about dinosaurs and stuffed animals, I've never seen her play with the princess castle that my mom bought for her. If it keeps them content, I'm sure as hell not going to tell them they can't play with something lol.
I need to show off my willpower just a little bit. DH and I decided to be Team Green this go around and we weren't last time. We had the Panorama test done but told them when we ordered it we didn't want to know the sex. They called yesterday with the results (all low risk) and then said "and do you want to know the sex?" I wasn't expecting this, because I assumed since I told them we didn't want to know when we ordered the test they wouldn't test for sex (not sure if that's an option) or they would not offer to tell us. I immediately asked " the wait, you have it right there in front of you?" and then mustered all my willpower and said I didn't want to know. But knowing the woman on the other end of the phone had it right there in front of her killed me! And now I have to deal with the fact that it's in my file and every time I go in I'll have the option of asking them.
Stay strong, you can do it I'm high risk again with this pregnancy so I will have monthly ultrasounds starting next month. Last time around I had to remind them at each ultrasound that we did not want to know the sex.
I am thoroughly impressed! We were Team Green last time (first baby), and it was amazing! We did the Panorama, but I also assumed they just didn't check- no one offered to tell me. It would've been a true test of my willpower had they asked- way to hold strong!
We were planning on going Team Green again this time, but when the tech offered to look at the NT scan, I caved instantly. I don't know why, but it was much harder for me this time! (I know NT scan is basically a guess, but I was 13.3, measuring 14.5, and she was fairly certain it's a boy! We know it may be wrong though.)
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
Gender stereotyping is the worst! It's one of the main reasons we chose Team Green with #1- we knew that people would get all gender specific stuff for us at the baby shower. Once baby boy arrived, we inevitably got some cringe-worthy clothes (from MIL), which I promptly returned or donated. I'm sorry if she was offended, but I'm not putting my baby boy in onesies that say "Lock Up Your Daughters!" or "Tough Like Daddy!" He's a nice guy, and your daughters would be lucky to have him. No locking up necessary. Also, maybe he likes boys. He doesn't freaking know yet. And he's not tough. He's a baby. He doesn't need to be tough just because he has a penis.
Sidenote: MIL really did not approve of his "This is What a Feminist Looks Like" onesie
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
I'm seriously contemplating leaving work earlier than I need to (it's my prep time) so I can take a 10 minute cat nap in my car before I drive to a meeting.
May Siggy Challenge: Labor Memes
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10 DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI) BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
Gender stereotyping is the worst! It's one of the main reasons we chose Team Green with #1- we knew that people would get all gender specific stuff for us at the baby shower. Once baby boy arrived, we inevitably got some cringe-worthy clothes (from MIL), which I promptly returned or donated. I'm sorry if she was offended, but I'm not putting my baby boy in onesies that say "Lock Up Your Daughters!" or "Tough Like Daddy!" He's a nice guy, and your daughters would be lucky to have him. No locking up necessary. Also, maybe he likes boys. He doesn't freaking know yet. And he's not tough. He's a baby. He doesn't need to be tough just because he has a penis.
Sidenote: MIL really did not approve of his "This is What a Feminist Looks Like" onesie
I'm so glad you have that shirt for your boy. And count me in as someone who wants to like this whole post more than once!
I feel so lucky that our families are progressive like we are (no one would ever gift us clothes like "lock up your daughters"), though I have to admit that both sets of our parents are decidedly less progressive than us on gender issues. It has been surprising to us given how politically liberal they all are. When DS was into pink and whatnot and then shunned that stuff later on, we lamented this fact to our parents (because frankly it's sad in our opinion that society beat an interest out of him!) and to our surprise, they reacted with comments like, "oh, that's great that he grew out of it." Seriously?!
I want to go to a fro yo place and just fill my cup with hot fudge and candies.
Maybe UO but I don't really get the gender backlash thing. I mean sure my son wanted a baby and he got one but I don't care if he ends up just playing sports and wanting trucks either. You do you, little man.
@WombThereItIs - For me, the issue isn't girls liking pink or boys liking trucks. The issue is girls being told by society that they HAVE to like pink or wear dresses or have baby dolls BECAUSE they are girls, and the same with boys. I would be fine with my son liking trucks. I would also be fine with my son liking pink (as @kat81 mentioned) or playing dress up. I don't want my son's genitals to in any way dictate what is socially acceptable for him to like.
Fur daughter: 02/2011 Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017 *formerly kayemjay*
I want to go to a fro yo place and just fill my cup with hot fudge and candies.
Maybe UO but I don't really get the gender backlash thing. I mean sure my son wanted a baby and he got one but I don't care if he ends up just playing sports and wanting trucks either. You do you, little man.
I am finding the gender conversation so interesting and am feeling like I haven't truly thought about the topic despite having a son already. I am oddly excited to talk to my husband about it tonight, so thank you for the dinner topic! These types of conversation are normally his thing to bring up and wants to talk about while I make the "can we just finish dinner" face. He is a psychologist and professor and LOVES to talk about people and feelings, while I can get burnt out on such topics. The "lock your daughters up" shirt would have went straight to the goodwill box @kayemjay2! I generally don't like clothing that says things, but that is super cringe worthy. It is a baby not a billboard and in that case I am not raising a predator! I tend to dress him like his dad dresses, so a fair amount of sweaters with elbow patches. He is far too young to even understand what he is wearing, but it will be interesting to see what he chooses as he gets older. It is making me think about what kind of things I will do differently without thinking about it if this LO is a girl and if I should attempt to correct any of those things. I must say the gendering of random objects like spoons, pacifiers, and bottles I find to be extremely annoying. I recall having a very hard time registering for some items last time because I was given only two options, pink or blue.
I dont mind girls being dressed all girly and frou frou (thats me though) and boys being boy-y (lol) with the blues and trucks. Like @Louise_Belcher said though, it makes registering annoying. Being team green I'm okay looking at everything and hate that there have to be girl blankets and pacifiers etc. I typically look at the unisex stuff if the website has one then all the boy things.
I think it's a lot easier with a girl to not reinforce gender stereotypes. No one thinks anything about it if my little girl wears a blue dinosaur shirt and plays with trucks. A lot of people have a much harder time seeing a boy wearing a pink unicorn shirt and playing with dolls. I'm not sure why that is, but it seems like boys are more likely to get made fun of or bullied for "acting like a girl." So I think it will be harder for me with this little guy than it has been with my girls. I think as a parent you want to protect your kid, so somewhere in the back of my mind will be, but what if he ends up getting bullied for this? I will want to let him make his own choices, like his big sisters, but I just think it will be harder. I know FIL and MIL definitely think boys should be "tough" and think I need to buy all new "boy" clothes for this little guy. Which, I am rolling my eyes at. So, I don't know how they will treat him compared to my girls. It will be interesting to see.
If I could get some Bumb juju, that would be great. My husband and I are seperating for the time being. My 2 yr old DD and I head to my parents tomorrow (halfway across the country). It's just really crappy. Especially at Christmastime. I'm just a bit nervous driving so far by myself.
Re: Randoms and Questions 11.28 - 12.4
My dental hygienist was telling me they were team green at the tech at the NT scan took a guess and told them, though they didn't want to know. Then, on top of that when they did the anatomy scan the very first shot to appear on the screen was the "hello, I am indeed a boy" shot.
I'm going to keep my head turned away until they assure me it's clear to look. Not that I'd necessarily be able to know on an US, but just in case!
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
*** TW *** not me
My sister in law went in for a follow up ultrasound today based on poor growth at her initial appointment. Unfortunately she's out and now we won't have the 2 little cousins so close in age. I am so sad for her and my brother.
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
@Wildflowers and Ferns and @lulubemadness Oh man, I feel you. I was violently sick until 17 weeks with my first, so maybe it'll randomly get better for you? I was told I might be in for the long haul too (plus, my mom was sick all throughout 4 out of 5 pregnancies so I was doubly worried) but it ended up going away eventually. Just wanted to give you hope though that it might not last forever!
Does anyone have any experience traveling out of country with a baby under 1? My sister is getting married in Thailand next year (baby will be about 5 months old) and I REALLY REALLY want to go (it would check off 3 things on my bucket list: the Dhara Dhevi resort, the TECC Elephant Sanctuary, and releasing a floating lantern at a lantern festival!!!). However, my husband is adamant that he won't go if it's not safe (since she won't have all her vaccinations). I heard that you can do an accelerated vaccination schedule, but I don't know if they can do it that much earlier. I'll be asking our pediatrician when I see him in January for my son, but anyone know anything about the safety of traveling outside the US? Or is it just a silly idea altogether to try to fly with a 5 month old and almost 3 year old on a maybe 16 hour flight (if we had no layovers)?
ETA tagging issues
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
It's funny how that happens.
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Married: October 2014
Began TTC: April 2015
BFP #1: 9/18/15. EDD 5/18/16. MC 10/26/15. (9w)
BFP #2: 2/27/16. EDD 11/7/16. MC/D&E 4/20/16 (11w)
BFP #3: 9/22/16. EDD 5/29/17. DS born 4/24/17
BFP #4: 5/20/18. EDD 1/23/19.
All of this said, when my son was 2 he developed an interest in pink and dresses. We got this stuff for him and he actually wore pink shoes to school every day. I don't think a lot of parents would be willing to do this. He eventually eschewed it around age 4 because of society ("that's for girls!!!") but never really gave it up, either. Right now there are a bunch of "girly" things he's interested in (like sticker books where you dress fairies/princesses) and he knows they are girly but is happy to express those interests in the comfort of his home. Sadly, he makes a point of not taking those books out to school to show to his friends, unlike his superhero books. He knows gender roles well.
The way I see it, you should expose your kid to everything and let them decide. It seems like most kids naturally go the route predicted by their gender, but it's important to know that a) you and others are more likely to notice this than the opposite, b) you are probably gendering your kid even if you mean not to, and c) even if you are not gendering them everyone else is, especially if your kid is in daycare/preschool. This is why, if anything, we encourage opposite-gender stuff with our kids because we know in all other contexts everyone is reinforcing their genders constantly.
The reality is that most kids conform to gender stereotypes on some things and go opposite them on some other things. This is definitely true for both of our kids (along with her princess stuff, DD likes watching football and loves building -- DS likes neither of these things.)
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
We were planning on going Team Green again this time, but when the tech offered to look at the NT scan, I caved instantly. I don't know why, but it was much harder for me this time! (I know NT scan is basically a guess, but I was 13.3, measuring 14.5, and she was fairly certain it's a boy! We know it may be wrong though.)
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Sidenote: MIL really did not approve of his "This is What a Feminist Looks Like" onesie
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
Me:31 DH:32 Married 11/06/10
DD: Born 8/23/13 (clomid+ovidrel+IUI)
BFP 9/9/16 EDD 5/19/17
I feel so lucky that our families are progressive like we are (no one would ever gift us clothes like "lock up your daughters"), though I have to admit that both sets of our parents are decidedly less progressive than us on gender issues. It has been surprising to us given how politically liberal they all are. When DS was into pink and whatnot and then shunned that stuff later on, we lamented this fact to our parents (because frankly it's sad in our opinion that society beat an interest out of him!) and to our surprise, they reacted with comments like, "oh, that's great that he grew out of it." Seriously?!
Maybe UO but I don't really get the gender backlash thing. I mean sure my son wanted a baby and he got one but I don't care if he ends up just playing sports and wanting trucks either. You do you, little man.
May '17 labor memes
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry
Married:09/14/13
Baby 2 - Due: 5/4/17
DS2 5/17
#3 Due 9/20
Edited for clarification
1st Baby 5/12/17, Henry