Advice thread from BTDT moms?

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · November 2016

Also, if you get an anal fissure (trust me, you'll know if you have one), don't assume it will go away. It won't. Go to a butt doctor.

mrsrep123 · November 2016

Yesssss to the baby blues (didn't know that's what it was) but at sundown I started feeling anxious and sad for NO apparent reason during the first week we were home. DH's mom told him to monitor me for PPD because she had it so it was nice that he was checking with me about that. But it really was the oddest feeling.

psherman42wwsa · November 2016

One thing I didn't know the first time was how much work breastfeeding would be. I assumed it would come easy since its a natural thing that has been done forever.. I was wrong. For me.. it was a struggle getting baby to latch properly and also it was very painful at the beginning. I stressed out a lot about getting a large freezer stash and pumping constantly to maintain my supply. The first 3 or 4 months were tough getting the hang of things.. many clogged ducts and I also got ductal thrush. kellymom.com was a great resource as well as the other moms on the bump. I felt really accomplished at the 1 year mark that I made it through. Honestly I am not really looking forward to starting all of that over..... For me I had to dedicate a lot of time and energy into breastfeeding/pumping and I would love to hear suggestions how to find time for all that while you have a new baby and a toddler!

Yiggle09 · November 2016

I'd like to say its technically not stealing when you take stuff from the hospital room. FTMs should be told if they bring anything into your room (other than linen) it has been charged to you in your medical bill. If you do not take things from your room they will throw them out after you leave. I left with dermoplast spray, pads, underwear, perineal squeeze bottle, nipple cream, witch hazel pads, perineal ice packs, pumping supplies to include the tubing that went to the pump to syringes and feeding tubes, nipple shields, every time they took my child for a little while at the nurse station he came back with 3 pacifiers or more went straight into a spare bag I brought to the hospital, diapers, vaseline everything they gave me I took and the last day I asked for more!

I had alot of issues almost immediately after getting home with my son. I was having to fight him to try to bf, he would push away from me, smack the nipple shield off and all the techniques they taught me in the hospital were not working. If i did get him to latch he would drink for 3 hours and then pop off and drink a 3 oz bottle i had waiting for him. It was driving me crazy. I started to feel (irrationally) that he was acting purposefully. That my son did not want me to bf him. I took his actions personally and it started to sour how I felt about him. I would keep in him his rock and play most of the time if he was not fussing which was always not super close to me and I feared him waking to try to feed him with my breast. I started thinking omg I shouldnt have done this this was a mistake, maybe ill leave and go live with my parents and let my husband who has all the answers have my child. This lasted two months till my husband snapped me out of it. I felt like I had given up by changing to exclusively pumping around 6 weeks then I felt constant concern about how much I was pumping and even had weird dreams where I had to feed him formula and he turned green. When I brought him to daycare and they told me if my child didn't drink the bm in an hour from when they first try to feed them they throw it out I freaked internally. I was a nut. I couldn't be with my child without noise- I had to have the tv on and this continued for 9 months at least. It was a long road but I got through it, no harm was done to my child. He is a thriving happy amazing sleeper great listener and recently a cuddler which I thought I had lost out on during my blue period where I couldn't stand to hold him more than I had to due to frustration and resentment that had built up. He just cut his top and bottom molars and I can feel his top canines coming in and he still sleeps through the night!

I have alot of fear going into this new pregnancy and I hope that the lessons I learned with my first and the regrets I have from being distant will help me do better and be mentally better. My best advice is get out with your child. Do not let yourself feel isolated because that is when your mind goes crazy. My son would sleep when I drove so I felt guilty like I was getting away without taking care of him during that time so I never casually left the house. Also I live in upstate new york an hour and a half from my job/ friends and 45 mins from my family so I wasnt going to get alot of visitors either. I also suggest waiting to have visitors in your home for about a week or two. I truly feel the revolving door of people who want to see the baby in the first week did not get help with bf. I was so embarrassed at his fighting during bf I wouldn't do it in public so I would pump the whole time we had company and bottle feed. Visitors in the hospital were great and easy because when it was baby feed time the nurses kicked people out! Hopefully my little story helps someone here who might end up going through what I did. I never reached out because I thought I wouldn't be able to give bm if I was on an anti depressant and I didn't want that...

Kipperoo · November 2016

I totally experienced breast feeding struggles ala lrwardrop and Yiggle09 (and maybe some others from previous threads). I was totally unprepared for how hard it would be for me and how upset I would feel about it. I took a breast feeding class, read a few articles, thought it would be easy. Even at the hospital, my visits with the lactation consultant were all positive, I left thinking I had it all down. Within hours of being home, it all went down hill. He wasn't properly latching, I got a nipple shield, it seemed to work but it would take him at least an hour to feed--he kept falling asleep, I'd try to wake him up, etc. Because he wasn't gaining weight quick enough, he had to be fed every two hours (timed from when you START the feeding), so I was literally sleeping for less than an hour between feedings for weeks. I felt angry and resentful towards my son--likely hormones compounded by lack of sleep. And I felt very guilty when I finally started supplementing with formula and eventually lost the BF all together when I went back to work after 3 months.

I'm not super optimistic that this time will be any easier, but I do know that I will be easier on myself and relax my own expectations. Giving my son formula vs BM felt like a HUGE deal at the time, but now I just realize it was the first of many times I had to lower my expectations and pat myself on the back just for surviving. Now, days go by that he refuses to eat anything but bread, pasta, cereal, and milk...is it ideal? Absolutely not. But does it happen? Yep. Because these kiddos have minds of their own and you have to learn to be ok with everything not being exactly the way you expected it to be.

nda_roxybabe · December 2016

This is where I can ask all you wise STM's all the random Q's floating in my head, right?

What detergent did you use for baby clothes? We recently ran out and I'd like to go ahead and switch to something the whole family can use. I picked up Seventh Generation Baby and I like it so far, but am curious of other options like Mrs Meyers, etc.

How did you sterilize bottles, pacifiers, etc? Is a sterilizer worth it or can I just throw everything in the dishwasher?

pshaortao · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe I just used unscented detergent. We use target up and up brand most of the time, but will pick up all free and clear if it's on sale plus coupon.

As for sterilizing.. I think we just boiled everything just once before using. We didn't use bottles much. After boiling the pacifiers, we just washed by hand as needed.

RainyDays86 · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe similar to what @pshaortao said re: sterilizing. We did it once at the beginning by boiling everything and then intermittently. But most of the time I washed everything by hand and air dried on one of those fake grass drying racks.

We use Nellie's Laundry Soda because it is cloth-diaper safe (we no longer CD DS, but did for about 8 months and probably will try again with this one).

MrsFox2008 · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe we use a free and clear detergent like all or a store brand! I did really like using dreft for DD when she was a baby (it smells amazing)
as far as Mrs.Meyers I have never used but a good friend of mine and his wife use all Mrs.Meyers products and love them!

Sterilizing: I boiled all the bottles, bottle pcs, and pacifiers before using (I believe I left them in there for about 2 mins) if I remember correctly there's a instruction paper in Dr. Browns bottle telling to boil for about 2 mins. But I very well could be wrong . Maybe that was MILs tip... hmm haha. And I repeated the sterilizing process once every couple months!

Edited: autocorrect

nda_roxybabe · December 2016

Awesome, thanks! I wont bother with a sterilizer then.

hp_momma · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe I've struggled with sensitive skin issues my whole life so I've always used Tide Free & Clear but recently tried Costco's Free & Clear Brand as it's a better value! I didn't notice a difference! I've always used the same for my kids. Just make sure that your dryer sheets are un-scented as well! That's something most people forget!

Louise_Belcher · December 2016

Samies on the one time serizilation and then hand washing. Tried washing in the dishwasher but it made the nipples a weird yellow color so I stopped doing that. As for detergent, we were gifted a huge thing of dreft which I loved and used that until it was gone for just the baby's items then switched him over to what we normally used (tide).

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · December 2016

We used All Free & Clear. And I only recall sterilizing bottles or pacis when they were new. I also recommend grabbing some of the color catcher sheets for when you are washing a bunch of new kids clothes.

nda_roxybabe · December 2016

Good call on the color catchers. Thanks!

onebadmotha · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe - We use Kirkland (Costco generic) free and clear. It's super cheap and has been great! We've also started using Oxiclean on loads that include poop clothes. The staining power of baby poop is amazing. I usually take the offensive clothing and soak it immediately in the sink with some Oxiclean, then throw some in the load itself.

Like some others, I boiled everything to sanitize once. After that, they go in the dishwasher. I'd highly recommend a dishwasher basket for the nipples and other small bottle parts.

nda_roxybabe · December 2016

If I am planning on pumping, should I get bottles the bags can drop into? Or is it not too bad transferring into a regular bottle?

KMD1106 · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe, We use All or Tide free and clear on all of our clothes. I loved Dreft, but it irritated DD's skin.

I second a lot of what was said about bottles. We boiled them all when they were new, then we usually hand washed them. We did end up washing the bottle parts in a dishwasher basket sometimes too.

onebadmotha · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe - I pumped directly into the Medela bottles that came with my pump. If the milk was going in the freezer, I'd pump into storage bags. Usually, though, it just went in the fridge (I had supply troubles and didn't get much excess).

We didn't use the Medela bottles for feeding (they suck), but would pour the milk in the Dr. Brown's bottles. It wasn't an ideal system, but worked for us. Most of the time, I had to mix breast milk with formula, which I already had measured and mixed in the Dr. Brown's bottles.

I'm interested to see how other moms did this. I'm really hoping for a better supply this time!

lildropofheavn23 · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe I pumped directly into the medela bottles. DD wouldn't touch frozen milk so I had about a dozen bottles to keep up with her milk demand at daycare She wouldn't drink form the medela bottles either - we just transferred the milk into her NUK bottles.

a tip for breastmilk - do not ever shake your milk, always gently swirl it

BeachMommy2B · December 2016

I want to chime in on the PPD. It is so real... and it can start from day 1, mine did. I was too stubborn to get help and because of that I struggled for 18 months.... that is right 18 months!!! I was miserable and would just cry night and day. I won't scare anyone with all the details, but please if you don't feel right, talk to someone. Don't suffer in silence because sometimes even your family/significant other just cant understand what you are going through and it gets hard on them too!!

I agree with PP about taking everything from the hospital. Even the formula samples, if you are breastfeeding they come in handy if you need to supplement and they last a while so you can keep them in your cabinet at home.

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · December 2016

lildropofheavn23 said:

@nda_roxybabe I pumped directly into the medela bottles. DD wouldn't touch frozen milk so I had about a dozen bottles to keep up with her milk demand at daycare She wouldn't drink form the medela bottles either - we just transferred the milk into her NUK bottles.

a tip for breastmilk - do not ever shake your milk, always gently swirl it

Actually, you can shake breastmilk. You would need to be a super human (or a centrifuge) to shake it enough to break stuff down.

ETA: If you want to avoid too many air bubbles, swirl away.

Other BTDT advice? There's lots of myths and folklore around breastfeeding. There is a great evidence based breastfeeding and formula group on facebook. I highly recommend it.

chickyclg · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe I pumped into Medela bottles and poured into Avent bottles. I had a good supply but not enough to support a large freezer stash and feed both babies.

For a while after "The Great Bottle Boycott of 2015" DD would only drink from a Medela Calma Nipple but we were able to get her back to the Avent bottles.

nda_roxybabe · December 2016

Whats the group?

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · December 2016

It's called "Breastfeeding, Formula Feeding, and Supplementing - Evidence-Based Support."

hp_momma · December 2016

I pumped directly into the Medela bottles and then teansferred to the Lasinoh bags for freezer purpose if I wasn't going to use the bottles that day. We used Playtex Ventair bottles for both girls.

STMs- what are you doing with your bottle situation? I know that the nipples need to be replaced no matter what, but as far as the bottles some of mine are 5 years old now. Would you replace the whole bottle? I plan to breastfeed exclusively again but I always introduce a bottle for when I'm away.

WombThereItIs · December 2016

@nda_roxybabe
detergent: I'm with most everyone else. Whatever free and clear tickles your fancy is good.

Sterilizing:. For new things I just gave them a good wash. I did love my dapple bottle soap though, breast milk can be a bitch to was out of daycare bottles and that stuff worked better than my dish soap. Daycare would just rinse the bottles after use and throw them in his cubby so I used the Medela bags to microwave bottles and pump parts after washing every day. They rule.

Pumping: pumped into my medela bottles and then transferred to bags to freeze or Avent bottles if it was going to daycare the next day.

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot is 110% right there are a lot of crazy ass breast milk and nursing rules that are nonsense. If something sounds crazy double check the source.

chickyclg · December 2016

@h&pmomma We are only planning to replace the nipples, I have so many bottles I couldn't imagine buying new ones.

hp_momma · December 2016

chickyclg said:

@h&pmomma We are only planning to replace the nipples, I have so many bottles I couldn't imagine buying new ones.

Oh I totally reused the bottles from DD1 for DD2 and just replaced the nipples! But they were just 2 years old at that time. I'm wondering if 5 years is pushing it to keep some of the bottles since I know plastic starts to break down. I guess I'll see how they look when I pull them out of storage.

mdlorenz · December 2016

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot Science! Thank you for being the first to dispel that myth. There's a great article out there somewhere about this.

chickyclg · December 2016

h&pmomma said:

chickyclg said:

@h&pmomma We are only planning to replace the nipples, I have so many bottles I couldn't imagine buying new ones.

Oh I totally reused the bottles from DD1 for DD2 and just replaced the nipples! But they were just 2 years old at that time. I'm wondering if 5 years is pushing it to keep some of the bottles since I know plastic starts to break down. I guess I'll see how they look when I pull them out of storage.

Hell, I never thought of the plastic breaking down.

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Advice thread from BTDT moms?

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DS1 7/24/15

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