Alrighty ladies - With my sciatic nerve already acting up, my doctor recommended that I get a support belt to wear when I am going to be on my feet for extended periods. Any recommendations on one you loved or one to stay away from? Thanks so much!!!!
IMO think they all do the trick I haven't read any reviews or anything, but the cheapo no name brand one I have works great!
I did the same thing that CanadianintheSouth described. I went back to teaching last August, and I was happy at first being back at work. But after all the sickness that comes with babies and daycare, I struggled finding subs and I felt like I was always running around and struggling to juggle everything while missing the fleeting time I had with my little son. With baby number 2 on the way, daycare costs and my salary didn't add up. Im a SAHM now, and I am mostly happy and grateful not to be stretched so thin.
Ugh. I just finished lesson planning for tomorrow at 10:30. I had a sub today because of childcare issues and got an email this afternoon that she couldn't find the papers I left ON MY DESK so she didn't pass out any quizzes or work. I wish I wish I wish I am wishing so hard I could just closed my eyes and forget about work and just stay home.....for the foreseeable future.
I did the same thing that CanadianintheSouth described. I went back to teaching last August, and I was happy at first being back at work. But after all the sickness that comes with babies and daycare, I struggled finding subs and I felt like I was always running around and struggling to juggle everything while missing the fleeting time I had with my little son. With baby number 2 on the way, daycare costs and my salary didn't add up. Im a SAHM now, and I am mostly happy and grateful not to be stretched so thin.
Ugh. I just finished lesson planning for tomorrow at 10:30. I had a sub today because of childcare issues and got an email this afternoon that she couldn't find the papers I left ON MY DESK so she didn't pass out any quizzes or work. I wish I wish I wish I am wishing so hard I could just closed my eyes and forget about work and just stay home.....for the foreseeable future.
And it's only October.
Ughhh. That's the worst. I'm sorry, mama. You got this!!
unsolicited advice: when your belly gets bigger lean forward to pee! it'll help get everything out lol this was life changing when I learned it last time
It was, kind of. I just Let my students work on the assignments from yesterday. Neither class actually got the work I left. But now I gotta figure out how to teach Reconstruction in one 82 minute class period....
I know this is a personal choice, but I was curious as to how long your maternity leave was and if you felt like it was adequate time off with your newborn.
I am able to take 12 weeks off with out losing my job, but I really wish I could take 16 weeks or that we adopted what some European countries do where you can have up to a year off.
I know this is a personal choice, but I was curious as to how long your maternity leave was and if you felt like it was adequate time off with your newborn.
With my 2 yo I took the standard 12 weeks and no, I didn't think it was long enough. But truthfully, even if I got 6 months off I wouldn't have felt like it was enough. Initially going back to work is tough, not going to sugar coat that. It's very difficult to get into the right frame of mind to leave your child with someone else for so many hours out of the day, but each day gets easier. This time around I'm taking 18 weeks. No one told me about the WA Family Leave Act the first time around and with that you get 12 weeks after 6 weeks of short term disability. Of course the hospital I'm working at doesn't make this readily known from HR. You have to find this out on your own. It's BS.
@lilies5/28/06 I so agree! That would be the dream to be able to take that much time off. I can't believe that as an industrialized country we have such a piss poor excuse for mat leave. I'm so jealous that you qualify for FMLA but it's great that you know you can take 12 weeks off without penalty.
@kiyamurph It's never easy finding out that stuff it seems! Ugh. I am already dreading going back to work not because I don't love my job but for the exact reasons you mentioned above. Naive me thought 6 weeks was going to be cool then I immediately changed my decision to 8. Even that seems short the closer we are getting to our due date! I'm crunching the numbers now and am trying to see if 12 weeks is doable with just my husbands income and STD as well as the Aflac policy I have. I wish this could be easier....
@jenny0228 When DD was born, we lived 3.5 hours from both our families. DH's mom and dad and my mom came down to the hospital early in the morning after I went into labor the night before, plus our 2 best friends were there already. I ended up with a c-section and had to rest in recovery for an hour, and then after about 30 minutes of us in our post-partum room, our parents and best friends came in. Having been through that, I would have loved to have more time just the 3 of us, to bond, try nursing. I was so exhausted and just said eff it, everyone come in. But I wish I had take at least an hour to have privately. We had a lot of local friends visit starting that afternoon.
This time around will be different with a scheduled c-section. I will have DH and my mom at the hospital and the ILs will take DD to school and then join us at the hospital in the afternoon once DD is out of school. I'm going to say no other hospital visitors until day 2 so we can have quiet family time and get some rest. But we've since moved and live a bit from most of our friends, so I don't think we'll get nearly the flow of visitors we had the first time.
Met DH - Aug 2001 :: Married - Jan 2010 :: DD born - Sept 2012
Do you need to/recommend doing pelvic floor exercises? I've been hearing mixed things about whether or not you should. Is it one of those things that as long as you're physically active you're fine? Or should you do them anyway?
people say you should do them and they're probably right but TBH I only did them a handful of times and I don't have a pee myself problem and was still able to push baby out. Also I don't think normal physical activity will really help as it's a Kegel thing. I don't think it hurts to do them but your life won't go to shit if you forget either lol.
@jenny0228 living in a small town with a bug family, word got around quickly that I was being induced on Tuesday night, and by noon Wednesday I had about 20 people in the waiting room, and they all stayed until after I delivered at 9pm. Toward the end, the doctor said, "there's a lot of people out there, and I am not going back out there and telling them you still haven't had this baby, so you need to push." They saw the baby through the nursery window, and once I was cleaned up and they transitioned my room from delivery to the regular set up (switched the bed, got the extra equipment out, etc.) Everyone popped in just for a quick second to give me a big bouquet and say hi quickly. I was there until Sunday, so over the 4 other days people trickled in and out on their lunch breaks, and way to/from work. I think it is all personal preference. I am really close with my family, and my cousins are more like siblings, so I kind of appreciated everyone being there and popping in right after. Do what makes you comfortable, even if that means putting your foot down and telling them that they need to wait.
@npaulie I've heard people say it really helps and you NNEEDD to do them.
i didn't do a single one for my last baby, and all the nurses literally stood in shock and told me I was the most amazing pusher they'd seen in months. Haha. So-who knows.
STMs, about having people help after baby is born. I need some guidance. On the one hand, DH doesn't get paid family leave and will have to dip into vacation days for any time off. My mom has offered to come during her spring break (she's a teacher). On a general note, i can usually tolerate her in very small doses. She is high strung with anxiety and can be rude and negative frequently. No warm and fuzzy feelings between us. In the past when I have been with her when I was sick, her constant anxious hovering and questions irritated me to the point where I try to never tell her if I'm sick. On the other hand, she has helped with all three of my sister's babies, could diaper a baby, could fix a meal and is a very task oriented person. I have decided I should let her help, just can't decide if she should come for a week in March ( I'm due 2/21 or March 1) or if I tell her to come in June when her school year is over.
I would suggest March given your situation. First, it's just nice to have extra hands when figuring out everything that comes with a newborn and trying to get some sleep yourself. Also, it's a set time frame and your mom will have to go back to work where as in June not only will you have a better handle on the mom gig but your mom has an open schedule for the entire summer! Did your sister have a good experience when your mom came to help?
I would suggest March given your situation. First, it's just nice to have extra hands when figuring out everything that comes with a newborn and trying to get some sleep yourself. Also, it's a set time frame and your mom will have to go back to work where as in June not only will you have a better handle on the mom gig but your mom has an open schedule for the entire summer! Did your sister have a good experience when your mom came to help?
Agreed with all of the above. The opportunity to have someone come for a couple if days to cook and do laundry is priceless. You may also want to arrange for a sister or something to drop in to help temper the negativity vibe because hormones post birth are cuhrazy, and and lead you to feeling blue and anxious really quickly (Even if you dont develop ppd or post partum anxiety, the emotional roller coaster is insane.)
STMs, about having people help after baby is born. I need some guidance. On the one hand, DH doesn't get paid family leave and will have to dip into vacation days for any time off. My mom has offered to come during her spring break (she's a teacher). On a general note, i can usually tolerate her in very small doses. She is high strung with anxiety and can be rude and negative frequently. No warm and fuzzy feelings between us. In the past when I have been with her when I was sick, her constant anxious hovering and questions irritated me to the point where I try to never tell her if I'm sick. On the other hand, she has helped with all three of my sister's babies, could diaper a baby, could fix a meal and is a very task oriented person. I have decided I should let her help, just can't decide if she should come for a week in March ( I'm due 2/21 or March 1) or if I tell her to come in June when her school year is over.
This is a very personal choice, obviously. And each mom I'm sure will have a very different answer. but for me I preferred not to have people around even though my DH was not home with me during the day. The last thing i wanted was an opinionated audience trying to tell me how to do baby things as I learned the ropes. I advise moms, unless they KNOW they have a person they absolutely love and want around, to wait at least a week to have with baby to know what they actually want help with in the first place. Some people like help, I found I liked privacy and to do most on my own. I didn't want help feeding, changing, holding baby--I personally wanted to all of this on my own and adjust to having her in my life.
One bit of advice I heard from another mom is to have a list of "to-do's" written on the fridge--fold laundry, dishes in sink, sanitize bottles, sweep floor, wipe down counters, etc" so when people do stop by and ask if they can help, you can point them to the list and say something like-if you see anything on there you'd like to do feel free! Instead of having to tell them what to do and feeling awkward, or not having anything you could think of.
99% of the time family and friends "helping" was holding baby. I don't want help holding my baby so i can do housework. You do my housework so I can hold my baby. Also--I wouldn't schedule any help officially till 2wks past due date because baby can be late!
@EALasagna45 I took 7.5 weeks off and was like lemmmeeee backkkk to work!!! I missed work so much and needed mental stimulation after 7 weeks of GOT and TWD reruns. I work from home and had help at home so I could work, so it was easier to have a short leave. I def cried when I had to travel to Texas my first week back.
I was just reading about Patagonias mat policy and they pay for baby and caretaker to travel with Mom for the whole first year. They also have 100% retention rate for Mom's because of this.
Wish I had something more conducive to letting me still work but bringing baby with when traveling, because traveling without your newborn sucks in so many ways.
99% of the time family and friends "helping" was holding baby. I don't want help holding my baby so i can do housework. You do my housework so I can hold my baby. Also--I wouldn't schedule any help officially till 2wks past due date because baby can be late!
This was my MIL! Arg! I was so annoyed. She flat out asked me one day if I wanted her to hold the baby while I cooked. No! I don't! How about you get off your ass and actually help?!
@kjd291 Good advice about having the to do list ready. I think my mom will be helpful when she comes, she's had 5 kids and my youngest brother is only 3, but DH and I are both very private and introverts so it's going to be weird having her staying in my house. We've actually never had anyone stay with us, we always go visit them. I'm worried I'm going to spend the week before she comes frantically cleaning and stressing which kind of defeats the purpose lol I'm thinking I will have her plan to come a few weeks after baby so we can get in a routine without her.
kjd291 said: This is a very personal choice, obviously. And each mom I'm sure will have a very different answer. but for me I preferred not to have people around even though my DH was not home with me during the day. The last thing i wanted was an opinionated audience trying to tell me how to do baby things as I learned the ropes. I advise moms, unless they KNOW they have a person they absolutely love and want around, to wait at least a week to have with baby to know what they actually want help with in the first place. Some people like help, I found I liked privacy and to do most on my own. I didn't want help feeding, changing, holding baby--I personally wanted to all of this on my own and adjust to having her in my life.
This! I was actually much happier on my own with my daughter, she slept a lot which gave me a lot of time to recover and I wasn't trying to entertain anyone that was visiting. Now with this next kid, I've already asked my mom to come for a few weeks to help with my hyperactive toddler.
Do I even bother buying newborn size clothes or just save money and start with 0-3 month size?
I wouldn't bother. They grow way too fast. If you're gifted any at a shower you should just use those, but if all you get are 0-3 months, then I personally wouldn't go make a special trip to get newborn size. My little guy was 6lbs 15oz at birth and the 0-3 month onsies worked just fine.
I would buy a couple of newborn sleepers, but maybe leave the tags on just in case. My son was in newborn clothes for about 2 months. Every baby is different.
@thisisallyson if you get some at your shower I wouldn't worry. If you somehow get none then I'd go pick up a pack of the cheapo gerber ones bc as PPs have said, your LO probably won't be in them long and if you need more once they do come you can always get some. DS was in newborn for a couple of weeks bc he was a skinny guy.
I would buy a couple of newborn sleepers, but maybe leave the tags on just in case. My son was in newborn clothes for about 2 months. Every baby is different.
Agree with this ^^ It wouldn't hurt to have a few things in NB size. My baby #2 was 3 weeks early and was in NB size for maybe 6 weeks. And with spitting up we were changing clothes a couple times a day so it was nice to have several outfits. But yeah keep the tags on so you can regift them or return them!
I agree with having a few newborn things. DD was SGAc(small for gestational age) and was only 5 lb 14 oz at birth so she wore newborn for a while. Everyone sized up for us when she was born so we were actually at target two days pp buying newborn stuff because nothing fit her. She's still our little peanut at 14 months
What are the secrets to knowing you have chosen a good daycare for your baby?
I agree with what the other ladies have said. It's definitely a feeling when you find the right one. I've had DS in a daycare without cameras - because his teacher was honestly like a second mom to him while I was at work so I trusted her fully. His daycare now has cameras and I love to see what he is up to throughout the day. But also-my biggest thing during tours was asking how long each teacher has worked there. If the teachers are in and out it causes a lot of instability and training, etc. both of the daycares my DS has been to, his teachers have been there for years. It's hard enough letting someone else care for your child, it gets much harder if you need to get to know and trust someone new every other month.
I don't think this has been asked yet, but have any of the STMs had an unmedicated birth? Sorry if this has already been answered!
I'd love to try for an unmedicated birth but I'm weighing the pros and cons.
Kind of. I was induced got preeclampsia, so that's medicated I guess. But I had no epidural or gas. Pros and cons are super subjective I think.
Its valuable to plan to go without mess because you never know what might happen. You may arrive too late for an epidural, or (egads) it might not numb you. (It happens!)
Maybe it's helpful to think in terms of when an epiduralwould be acceptable to you and when not. Like, my husband was under strict orders to initially try to talk me down if I started asking for an epidural because of pain level. I knew that in general when women feel the "I can't do this anymore" they are going through transition. But I did clarify in my birth plan that if I in labor longer than day I wanted an epidural be able to rest before pushing. I wanted to avoid a Pitocin induction if I could, but I wanted to avoid a vacuum extraction MORE, so after 2.75 hours of pushing I accepted the help of the Pitocin (i realized right away my body's contractions were not cutting it as soon as the Pitocin kicked in, I was soooo tired from the induction).
Re: More Questions for STMs??
And it's only October.
Married: 8/2005.
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD: 3/4/2017.
@kiyamurph It's never easy finding out that stuff it seems! Ugh. I am already dreading going back to work not because I don't love my job but for the exact reasons you mentioned above. Naive me thought 6 weeks was going to be cool then I immediately changed my decision to 8. Even that seems short the closer we are getting to our due date! I'm crunching the numbers now and am trying to see if 12 weeks is doable with just my husbands income and STD as well as the Aflac policy I have. I wish this could be easier....
This time around will be different with a scheduled c-section. I will have DH and my mom at the hospital and the ILs will take DD to school and then join us at the hospital in the afternoon once DD is out of school. I'm going to say no other hospital visitors until day 2 so we can have quiet family time and get some rest. But we've since moved and live a bit from most of our friends, so I don't think we'll get nearly the flow of visitors we had the first time.
I think it is all personal preference. I am really close with my family, and my cousins are more like siblings, so I kind of appreciated everyone being there and popping in right after. Do what makes you comfortable, even if that means putting your foot down and telling them that they need to wait.
i didn't do a single one for my last baby, and all the nurses literally stood in shock and told me I was the most amazing pusher they'd seen in months. Haha. So-who knows.
So IMO: it can't hurt-but not a big deal.
One bit of advice I heard from another mom is to have a list of "to-do's" written on the fridge--fold laundry, dishes in sink, sanitize bottles, sweep floor, wipe down counters, etc" so when people do stop by and ask if they can help, you can point them to the list and say something like-if you see anything on there you'd like to do feel free! Instead of having to tell them what to do and feeling awkward, or not having anything you could think of.
99% of the time family and friends "helping" was holding baby. I don't want help holding my baby so i can do housework. You do my housework so I can hold my baby. Also--I wouldn't schedule any help officially till 2wks past due date because baby can be late!
I was just reading about Patagonias mat policy and they pay for baby and caretaker to travel with Mom for the whole first year. They also have 100% retention rate for Mom's because of this.
Wish I had something more conducive to letting me still work but bringing baby with when traveling, because traveling without your newborn sucks in so many ways.
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
I would buy a couple of newborn sleepers, but maybe leave the tags on just in case. My son was in newborn clothes for about 2 months. Every baby is different.
I'd love to try for an unmedicated birth but I'm weighing the pros and cons.
High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06
Married: 10/13/13
Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
Its valuable to plan to go without mess because you never know what might happen. You may arrive too late for an epidural, or (egads) it might not numb you. (It happens!)
Maybe it's helpful to think in terms of when an epiduralwould be acceptable to you and when not. Like, my husband was under strict orders to initially try to talk me down if I started asking for an epidural because of pain level. I knew that in general when women feel the "I can't do this anymore" they are going through transition. But I did clarify in my birth plan that if I in labor longer than day I wanted an epidural be able to rest before pushing. I wanted to avoid a Pitocin induction if I could, but I wanted to avoid a vacuum extraction MORE, so after 2.75 hours of pushing I accepted the help of the Pitocin (i realized right away my body's contractions were not cutting it as soon as the Pitocin kicked in, I was soooo tired from the induction).