Any suggestions of flexible baby-stuff organization systems that hold a critical mass of baby stuff (like, lots of clothes and diapering equipment rather than two small decorative boxes of toys) and might make moving easier?
We're looking at moves when the LO is less than 6mo then again at 2-3 years old (and at least one more 2-3 years later). While in this house the nursery furniture will all be with us in our master, and based on that plus the moves rather than get closet-based organizers and on-wall shelving I'm leaning towards something like a 6-drawer dresser and using the top as a changing table, or something like those big shells that have cubbies for 9 baskets from Target. I'm just not sure what's the most practical/helpful for baby stuff and things?
We've always used one of the cube shelves things for DS's clothes/burp rags/etc. He has a big closet, so we actually leave half of the cubes open for books and toys. We haven't moved (except him across the hall) but I like how easy it is to get in and out and switch stuff around. Now that he's a toddler, he can also pull stuff out and I don't have to worry about smashed fingers or anything.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
There is a system at IKEA, and I'll have to look it up for you when I get home from work because I can't remember the name. it's made for toys and has pull out plastic bins/drawers and you can choose different sizes of bins...I think this might work really well in your case and then you can use it for toys or other organization later. It is honestly my most favorite toy organizer I have ever found!
What are the secrets to knowing you have chosen a good daycare for your baby?
For us it was about just having that overall feel good vibe. When we toured the facility, we didn't walk away with a weird feeling about the place. We previously visited an in home daycare and while the lady who ran it was nice, she had a really kooky vibe that didn't sit well with me. She was just odd. I can't really explain it further. It's kind of like finding, "the one". When you know you know.
What are the secrets to knowing you have chosen a good daycare for your baby?
I agree with @kiyamurph. Make sure you tour all of the rooms and get a feel for the teachers. Obviously it's important they really enjoy children. Personally I think the 1s and 2s room at our school is most telling. One teacher can have 5 one year olds or 7 two year olds here in KS. I'm always most impressed they can get all these kids to nap at once without losing their cool. Ours also has a camera in every room so I can check throughout the day.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
How hard is it to go back to work after your maternity leave is over? Secondary but related question...how do I decide whether to go back to working outside the home or be a stay-at-home mom?
I realize no one can probably answer my secondary question for me but me, just looking for some guidance on what others felt were important considerations in making that decision. For most, does it come down to finances? Thanks for any guidance.
@peony2418 for us it did end up coming to finances. Don't get me wrong I love being a SAHM and since it was kind of a last minute decision, my hormonal post pregnant self was dreading the thought of leaving baby. The fact that my entire paycheck would have gone to child care sealed the deal for us and that neither of us would be able to see baby awake for more than an hour or so a day. After the decision was made I was extra grateful because for me personally I would not have been able to keep up BF. I didn't ever get much from pumping and DS was an eating machine.
@peony2418 it was a financial decision here too. No way we'd be able to pay all bills and student loans while DH is getting his PhD on just... More student loans. Going back to work was really hard, DH has always dropped off which has helped me. It's easier to send DS now because he has learned and grown so much, and it's a great place to get his energy out. He gets bored at home lol.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
How hard is it to go back to work after your maternity leave is over?
I may be a lot different than a lot of people but I was ready to go back to work after the 9 weeks I took off. I think it depends on your situation. I had family watching DS for the first year and a half and my job is very flexible. However the tears definitely came when he was old enough to tell me "mommy no work"
this time may be different tho as LO will go right into daycare after 12 weeks off.
How hard is it to go back to work after your maternity leave is over? Secondary but related question...how do I decide whether to go back to working outside the home or be a stay-at-home mom?
I realize no one can probably answer my secondary question for me but me, just looking for some guidance on what others felt were important considerations in making that decision. For most, does it come down to finances? Thanks for any guidance.
As you said, no one can really answer this for you, but I can share my experience. The first day back was hard. Like, oh my god, how in the world can I leave my kid with someone else hard. Talk about major mom guilt. I had to quickly leave before I lost my shit and made a complete fool of myself. Of course each day got easier and easier and I no longer felt guilty for leaving my baby with someone else for 8 hours. Personally, I chose to go back to work because being a SAHM just isn't for me. I have zero judgement for any woman/man that chooses to stay home. It's real deal hard work and I tip my hat to anyone that stays home. I like going to work and earning my own money. One thing that has always secretly scared me about being a SAHM is the what ifs. What if for some awful reason my husband and I split? What if he died young? Now what? I've always liked the idea of having my own income and being able to support myself if need be. I also like going to work and being around other adults and having that social time. I live in an area where we have no family whatsoever and they're all over 2,000 miles away, so if I stayed home I'd have to find other mom friends to keep myself from going crazy. Also, I absolutely love my kid's daycare. I don't regret going back to work at all because my little guy has learned so much from daycare and I know he wouldn't have learned as much with me staying home. I'm not really the planner type and I wouldn't have an organized schedule for daily activities. Or if I did do one, it wouldn't be as efficient as daycare. At daycare, my son learned his ABCs, how to count, to have manners and to share (even though he says everything is "mine"), and he's thriving so much that I feel like he'd be a bit behind if he stayed home with me. Plus, his daycare is owned by 2 Hispanic sisters and everyone that works there speaks Spanish, so I love that he's in a bilingual environment. There's been studies that have shown many, many benefits to children who grow up bilingual, so that's a huge plus.
I guess what it comes to is knowing yourself and your family dynamic. Ask yourself if you would be genuinely happy and feel fulfilled if you stayed home/went back to work. And of course finances are a major component as well. If you go back to work and you're essentially working to pay for daycare, then it may not make the most sense. It's a tough choice, but you have to go with your gut and do what will work best for your family.
Any suggestions of flexible baby-stuff organization systems that hold a critical mass of baby stuff (like, lots of clothes and diapering equipment rather than two small decorative boxes of toys) and might make moving easier?
We're looking at moves when the LO is less than 6mo then again at 2-3 years old (and at least one more 2-3 years later). While in this house the nursery furniture will all be with us in our master, and based on that plus the moves rather than get closet-based organizers and on-wall shelving I'm leaning towards something like a 6-drawer dresser and using the top as a changing table, or something like those big shells that have cubbies for 9 baskets from Target. I'm just not sure what's the most practical/helpful for baby stuff and things?
I love baby stuff in baskets so much more than a dresser. It's super easy and cute. Plus as they get older they can get into the baskets themselves. (Not a plus for all moms, but I like the independence it affords my 20 month old. Plus if it keeps him occupied for 15 minutes I can spend 15 seconds throwing all his shirts back in the bin.) Cube organizer and fabric baskets works great. Also, if your anything likene, as baby feiws you'll be constantly rerramging their stuff. Fabic cubes are say for this, too.
How hard is it to go back to work after your maternity leave is over? Secondary but related question...how do I decide whether to go back to working outside the home or be a stay-at-home mom?
I realize no one can probably answer my secondary question for me but me, just looking for some guidance on what others felt were important considerations in making that decision. For most, does it come down to finances? Thanks for any guidance.
Well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I would love to stay home. But we can't afford it, so I work. So for us finances were the paramount deciding factor.
But women are all different. If you know what you want, and see a path to get there, go for it. Still want to work but worry about leaving baby? Don't let the fear paralyze you. Want to stay home butvm worry about finances? Don't just worry, crunch the numbers and see if you can make a plan.
Even when moms are itching to go back to work it is hard hard hard to leave yiur baby, whether they are 3 months or 3 years. My mom cares for my son and I still find it hard. I guess that's not really helpful except to say if you feel that way you are not alone. And it gets better over time!
When it comes down to it, a prosvons list isn't gonna cut it. What matters is what is most important to you and your husband.
And whatever you decide there will be an army of internet people judging you. Don't give them the time of day!!!!!
Thanks to all who responded to my 'how do you decide if you want to be a SAHM question"! It's really interesting to hear different views and perspectives. I think part of my issue is that it's a big unknown to me, and as it turns out, I'm a Type A Super Planner. Which seems like it's going to be hard, because who knows how I'll feel when it's real life.
@Gators&BoSox and @datalover13 it's been so crazy to read how much day care is!!! That is definitely a big consideration! But, on the flip side, I can totally see myself being too emotional to drop off. Making DH do the drop off is a great idea!!!! The pumping thing is an interesting consideration too.
@korpisar that's so nice that your family was able to do it! "Mommy No Work" would be heartbreaking!!!! How hard!!! Hopefully this time it's very easy for you!
omg @kiyamurph! I had honestly (naively?) never given a thought to the whole "what if I stop working outside the home and then DH dies/leaves me/whatever" but last week I was googling how different women made the decision to become a SAHM and so many women mentioned it! A bilingual day care is SUCH a benefit. There are a couple Spanish immersion preschools close to my house. I need to see if any of the day care programs are immersion programs. I wish I could just fast forward to how I'm feeling in June 2017!!
@longliveregina that was very helpful! I'm already worried about making the wrong decision (either way!) but I just need to remember that lots of people feel this way, and if I make the wrong decision, I can also un-make it. Lucky for us, the internet judgeys will be there either way! LOL!!
How soon did you have visitors in the hospital after you gave birth? I have my nieces already saying they are going to be sleeping in the waiting room waiting for him to be born -my husband's family all lives in the same town as us, but my mom lives 3 hours away. I know it's hard to make a call on this because I don't know what my labor and delivery will even be like -- maybe the circumstances will dictate people having to stay away for longer than I would have planned. But say everything goes "normally". I am already stressing about people barging in the moment he's out. And DH would be happy with that, that's the kind of relationship he has with his family, but I feel like for ME I need at least a little time to get myself back together, acquaint myself with my new baby, to enjoy everyone's company and introduce the new grandson/cousin/etc. Also as much as I love his whole family, I want to give my mom time to get there, too. For some reason this actually stresses me out. Just curious if you asked people to come the next day, or if you actually had people sitting in the waiting room? And were people put off if you asked them to give you some space?
we asked for no one to be waiting in the waiting room while I was in labor. it was my personal preference. DS was born at 9:47 and it was passed visiting hours anyway. No one came until the next afternoon, which was fine, when we came home no one came over for a couple days *again at my request* to give us time to settle. it will be the same again this time on all counts
How soon did you have visitors in the hospital after you gave birth? I have my nieces already saying they are going to be sleeping in the waiting room waiting for him to be born -my husband's family all lives in the same town as us, but my mom lives 3 hours away. I know it's hard to make a call on this because I don't know what my labor and delivery will even be like -- maybe the circumstances will dictate people having to stay away for longer than I would have planned. But say everything goes "normally". I am already stressing about people barging in the moment he's out. And DH would be happy with that, that's the kind of relationship he has with his family, but I feel like for ME I need at least a little time to get myself back together, acquaint myself with my new baby, to enjoy everyone's company and introduce the new grandson/cousin/etc. Also as much as I love his whole family, I want to give my mom time to get there, too. For some reason this actually stresses me out. Just curious if you asked people to come the next day, or if you actually had people sitting in the waiting room? And were people put off if you asked them to give you some space?
My parents were in the waiting room while I was in labour and they came in when I was cleaned up and back to my room. However after 29 hours of labour, no one except DH got to hold my son until the next day.... I was not sharing after all that work.
I worked at the hospital I delivered in so I had coworkers come up the next morning, and my MIL who we had been estranged from was allowed to come meet him. I actually enjoyed the company.
How soon did you have visitors in the hospital after you gave birth? I have my nieces already saying they are going to be sleeping in the waiting room waiting for him to be born -my husband's family all lives in the same town as us, but my mom lives 3 hours away. I know it's hard to make a call on this because I don't know what my labor and delivery will even be like -- maybe the circumstances will dictate people having to stay away for longer than I would have planned. But say everything goes "normally". I am already stressing about people barging in the moment he's out. And DH would be happy with that, that's the kind of relationship he has with his family, but I feel like for ME I need at least a little time to get myself back together, acquaint myself with my new baby, to enjoy everyone's company and introduce the new grandson/cousin/etc. Also as much as I love his whole family, I want to give my mom time to get there, too. For some reason this actually stresses me out. Just curious if you asked people to come the next day, or if you actually had people sitting in the waiting room? And were people put off if you asked them to give you some space?
I don't have any family in town, and no one stayed in the waiting room while I was in labor. My parents made the 3 hour trip up after the baby was born (ended up with a last minute c-section early morning, they showed up around lunch time). The rest of my family just texed with me and showed up when they could as long as I was feeling okay. When my older sister had her kids, we all lived in the same town and were in the waiting room when she had hers. She loved having us there. I think it just depends on what you want! If you know you're going to need some time with just your little family, make that clear to everyone else. Your baby, you get to decide. Not much will change about the munchkin in the first few days anyway.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
How soon did you have visitors in the hospital after you gave birth? I have my nieces already saying they are going to be sleeping in the waiting room waiting for him to be born -my husband's family all lives in the same town as us, but my mom lives 3 hours away. I know it's hard to make a call on this because I don't know what my labor and delivery will even be like -- maybe the circumstances will dictate people having to stay away for longer than I would have planned. But say everything goes "normally". I am already stressing about people barging in the moment he's out. And DH would be happy with that, that's the kind of relationship he has with his family, but I feel like for ME I need at least a little time to get myself back together, acquaint myself with my new baby, to enjoy everyone's company and introduce the new grandson/cousin/etc. Also as much as I love his whole family, I want to give my mom time to get there, too. For some reason this actually stresses me out. Just curious if you asked people to come the next day, or if you actually had people sitting in the waiting room? And were people put off if you asked them to give you some space?
None: flu restrictions. Honestly we didn't want anyone anyway. Seriousl, this is the time for your family unit to bond together.
And sitting in the waiting room throughout labor is just weird. You could be in labor for DAYS (hopefully not, but still).
I suggest you imagine what you want your first few days with baby to be like. Do you envision your family there? Have them meet you at your house when you are discharged (preferablywitj food firyou!). Do you picture a quiet time of just you and hubby? Tell people no and refuse to feel bad when they whine. Your neices are probably too young to think about how you feel in this circumstance: they are swept up up in the excitement of a baby cousin.
You can tell the hospital to not allow any visitors if you are worried about people barging in.
What are the secrets to knowing you have chosen a good daycare for your baby?
FTM, but I have checked out numerous daycares-I wanted to find the perfect daycare that I know I will feel comfortable leaving my baby at so I can go back to work. I looked up all of our local daycares on a state regulated database to see which daycares had citations for their license, what complaints they had, if they have "improvement plans" and how their state inspections have gone. I narrowed the list down from there and went to check out the two daycares that are near my home/work to see what what kind of vibe I got, compare pricing, and curriculum/teaching methods. I think all states have a similar site to where you can find this information, but I live in GA and this is our website https://decal.ga.gov/Default.aspx
Me: 27 DH: 33 Furbaby: Walther, 4 year old Rottweiler/Coonhound mix EDD: 3/7/17<img
I told people they could visit on day 2. I'd highly reccomend telling everyone later on instead of sooner! You have no idea if it'll be 3hrs and born at noon so you'"" be ready for company at dinner or 40hrs and born at 4am and the last thing you want is company all the next day. If you change your mind after baby is here you can always call or text and welcome them to visit earlier. My In Laws are pretty pushy annoying people, but seemed to totally get this request and respected our space. even though people are excited about meeting a baby--I don't think they really want to sit in a waiting room for possibly several hours - a simple, "we'll text or call you as soon as we're ready for company" worked for me!
I had a friend give me a bunch of baby clothes, which I am extremely grateful for, but I would like to wash them before baby gets here. She already washed them but has a dog that sheds terribly so there's dog hair on most of them. That being said, what are your suggestions for baby laundry soap? Do you use fabric softener?
Thanks!!
Me: 24 DH: 27 High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06 Married: 10/13/13 Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
@jenny0228 have you toured your hospital? At our tour they made it clear the family waiting room is outside the locked ward, and nurses will run interference for you and not let anybody in to visit as long as you want. I'm a FTM and heard stories from one side about a mom who asked grandparents not to show up until the day after she delivered. She told everyone well before the birth that she loved them and was excited for them to meet the baby but wanted privacy for herself and her husband and new baby on the day she actually delivered. It wasn't a surprise for anyone, and she got exactly what she wanted.
I had a friend give me a bunch of baby clothes, which I am extremely grateful for, but I would like to wash them before baby gets here. She already washed them but has a dog that sheds terribly so there's dog hair on most of them. That being said, what are your suggestions for baby laundry soap? Do you use fabric softener?
Thanks!!
I bought a free and clear baby detergent for washing all my baby clothes--but DD never had sensitive skin so after I used the one bottle I went back to my usual cheaper detergent.
thanks for all the replies about visitors - DH's family is pretty pushy, and I'm under the impression they they are all under the assumption that it goes without saying that they will be there just as he's born. It has come up a couple times since I've been pregnant about all the bonding and stories they recall from when they were all in the waiting room during his sister's labor. I need to talk to DH to prep him to communicate with his family once I go into labor. That way he can keep them posted from a distance and we can decide when we will let people come meet our little guy. I want my mom to be among the first visitors so I want to give her time to get there. Watch me have a 4 day labor like my friend after all my worry, haha.
I haven't toured the hospital, but I am going there for the first time at the end of the month since I'm AMA and my anatomy scan is with MFM at the hospital.
I had a friend give me a bunch of baby clothes, which I am extremely grateful for, but I would like to wash them before baby gets here. She already washed them but has a dog that sheds terribly so there's dog hair on most of them. That being said, what are your suggestions for baby laundry soap? Do you use fabric softener?
Thanks!!
We just use a free & clear soap, like @kjd291. No need to spend the extra money on a "special" baby laundry soap. Same for fabric softener, just use the free and clear ones. Especially with fleece blankets and blanket sleepers, you'll want a fabric softener or dryer sheet of some sort!
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
I had a friend give me a bunch of baby clothes, which I am extremely grateful for, but I would like to wash them before baby gets here. She already washed them but has a dog that sheds terribly so there's dog hair on most of them. That being said, what are your suggestions for baby laundry soap? Do you use fabric softener?
Thanks!!
I did not use fabric softener for my son's clothes when he was a newborn. I do know people who use dryer sheets that are hypoallergenic and their babies do fine. You can also use vinegar as a fabric softener.
It is not worth it to get Dreft detergeant: just get your brand free and clear (no dyesor perfumes). Dreft is scented and actually was bad for my baby's skin!!! It's a total racket, get even make different types of dreft for different ages babies, and I'd is all uneessaey.
thanks for all the replies about visitors - DH's family is pretty pushy, and I'm under the impression they they are all under the assumption that it goes without saying that they will be there just as he's born. It has come up a couple times since I've been pregnant about all the bonding and stories they recall from when they were all in the waiting room during his sister's labor. I need to talk to DH to prep him to communicate with his family once I go into labor. That way he can keep them posted from a distance and we can decide when we will let people come meet our little guy. I want my mom to be among the first visitors so I want to give her time to get there. Watch me have a 4 day labor like my friend after all my worry, haha.
I haven't toured the hospital, but I am going there for the first time at the end of the month since I'm AMA and my anatomy scan is with MFM at the hospital.
That's really tough. Make sure you are straightforward when you tell them what you want, don't beat around the bush. In my experience the whole sitting around the waiting room thing is weird and I've only seen it in movies/shows. I dont even think my delivery ward had a waiting room. I walked through the whole thing when I was in labor and all I saw was three chairs by the nurses station.
@peony2418 I went back to work, but quit at the end of the school year. It was the hardest thing I've ever done leaving my baby to go to work, but each day got better. While I loved my job, in the end for me the salary I made wasn't worth it. It was a super hard decision for me, but in the end I have become much more stress free not worrying about daycare, and getting subs to cover my classes when I had to pick her up when she was sick. My husband is not able to help at all during the day, and my closest family is nine hours away, so I am the sole person in charge of my kid.
That being said, there are some days that I wouldn't mind being at work instead of with a whining toddler, but the good days strongly outweigh the bad times, so I know I made the right decision
i didn't really think much beyond that no one was allowed in the room while I was giving birth besides my hubs. (My mother in law was in the room with 2 of her grandkids.. no thanks!!) my mom and sister, and my husbands mom and dad were all at the hospital when my daughter was born, basically standing outside the door. I didn't mind, they were not allowed in the room for a couple of hours afterwards either. From what I here, they had a happy hour in the waiting room! That's just how my family is! They came in when they were allowed and stayed for maybe 20 min. Then they left and no one came until the next day! I loved having family there right away, but it was very nice they only stayed for a little bit then gave us our space!
@peony2418 I went back to work, but quit at the end of the school year. It was the hardest thing I've ever done leaving my baby to go to work, but each day got better. While I loved my job, in the end for me the salary I made wasn't worth it. It was a super hard decision for me, but in the end I have become much more stress free not worrying about daycare, and getting subs to cover my classes when I had to pick her up when she was sick. My husband is not able to help at all during the day, and my closest family is nine hours away, so I am the sole person in charge of my kid.
That being said, there are some days that I wouldn't mind being at work instead of with a whining toddler, but the good days strongly outweigh the bad times, so I know I made the right decision
This sounds like it came out of my own heart. I enjoy teaching still, but nowhere near as much as before. I know I am not as good of a teacher as I was before my son is born...its just natural that my family is first in my time. Sometimes I find the stress completely overwhelms the satisfaction. My H and I are actively searching for ways for me to just stay home in September, so hopefully I will follow suit soon.
@CanadianintheSouth it sounds like you made the perfect decision for your family!!! thanks for your advice. Sometimes I forget that if I choose one, it doesn't mean I have to make the choice permanent, if that doesn't end up being what feels right, and it right for my family.
@longliveregina i bet you're a great teacher!! I hope you guys figure out how to make it work so that you can stay home in September!!
How soon did you have visitors in the hospital after you gave birth? I have my nieces already saying they are going to be sleeping in the waiting room waiting for him to be born -my husband's family all lives in the same town as us, but my mom lives 3 hours away. I know it's hard to make a call on this because I don't know what my labor and delivery will even be like -- maybe the circumstances will dictate people having to stay away for longer than I would have planned. But say everything goes "normally". I am already stressing about people barging in the moment he's out. And DH would be happy with that, that's the kind of relationship he has with his family, but I feel like for ME I need at least a little time to get myself back together, acquaint myself with my new baby, to enjoy everyone's company and introduce the new grandson/cousin/etc. Also as much as I love his whole family, I want to give my mom time to get there, too. For some reason this actually stresses me out. Just curious if you asked people to come the next day, or if you actually had people sitting in the waiting room? And were people put off if you asked them to give you some space?
I didn't want to see people right away so I asked my husband not to call anyone until I delivered. Our parents both live 2 hours away so that would at least give me a couple hours. I was being induced and didn't even tell them that so they didn't try to guess when I would deliver and just show up. Which is good because I was in labor at the hospital for a day and a half. Last week I was at my OB appointment and was reading a poster that stressed how important the first hours is and it should be for baby/mommy only. It showed how it takes a few minutes for the baby to get acquanted with you and how skin-to-skin is important and around 30 minutes is when they first try to eat, ect. Maybe you can use that to convince your husband to wait a little after birth to invite family.
@CanadianintheSouth it sounds like you made the perfect decision for your family!!! thanks for your advice. Sometimes I forget that if I choose one, it doesn't mean I have to make the choice permanent, if that doesn't end up being what feels right, and it right for my family.
@longliveregina i bet you're a great teacher!! I hope you guys figure out how to make it work so that you can stay home in September!!
Thanks. I do try, but it's frustrating to me to know what I can do to be better and not physically have the time to do it. I would LOVE to just design curriculum and tests (yeah, I know, I'm a dork) all day for a living, but its actually super annoying to get into....very location based. I love working with stidenta, but I'm really introverted and being with so many people all day is draining; I always say students are the best part of teaching and the worst part of teaching, lol.
It's not recommended to use fabric softener of any kind on baby clothes. Baby clothes and blankets are flame retardant, and fabric softener is flammable, so it reduces the efficacy.
It's not recommended to use fabric softener of any kind on baby clothes. Baby clothes and blankets are flame retardant, and fabric softener is flammable, so it reduces the efficacy.
I did the same thing that CanadianintheSouth described. I went back to teaching last August, and I was happy at first being back at work. But after all the sickness that comes with babies and daycare, I struggled finding subs and I felt like I was always running around and struggling to juggle everything while missing the fleeting time I had with my little son. With baby number 2 on the way, daycare costs and my salary didn't add up. Im a SAHM now, and I am mostly happy and grateful not to be stretched so thin.
Alrighty ladies - With my sciatic nerve already acting up, my doctor recommended that I get a support belt to wear when I am going to be on my feet for extended periods. Any recommendations on one you loved or one to stay away from? Thanks so much!!!!
Me 29 I DH 28 Married in April 2007 One Furbaby - Adorable Pitt Mix 15 Months TTC....2nd Cycle of Letrozole - Success! Expecting our first two little miracles - Boy/Girl Twins! - EDD March 3, 2017 High Risk Pregnancy - Type 1 Diabetic; Hypothyroidism; Di/Di Twin Pregnancy
I get that @longliveregina. It's like you're using all your extrovert energy all day, that you're completely wiped when you get home. Your students are lucky to have someone who cares that much!
thanks for your advice @mauiquickie!! I am glad that you were able to make being a SAHM work for you!!
Re: More Questions for STMs??
We're looking at moves when the LO is less than 6mo then again at 2-3 years old (and at least one more 2-3 years later). While in this house the nursery furniture will all be with us in our master, and based on that plus the moves rather than get closet-based organizers and on-wall shelving I'm leaning towards something like a 6-drawer dresser and using the top as a changing table, or something like those big shells that have cubbies for 9 baskets from Target.
I'm just not sure what's the most practical/helpful for baby stuff and things?
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
I realize no one can probably answer my secondary question for me but me, just looking for some guidance on what others felt were important considerations in making that decision. For most, does it come down to finances? Thanks for any guidance.
Married: 8/2005.
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD: 3/4/2017.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
this time may be different tho as LO will go right into daycare after 12 weeks off.
Also, I absolutely love my kid's daycare. I don't regret going back to work at all because my little guy has learned so much from daycare and I know he wouldn't have learned as much with me staying home. I'm not really the planner type and I wouldn't have an organized schedule for daily activities. Or if I did do one, it wouldn't be as efficient as daycare. At daycare, my son learned his ABCs, how to count, to have manners and to share (even though he says everything is "mine"), and he's thriving so much that I feel like he'd be a bit behind if he stayed home with me. Plus, his daycare is owned by 2 Hispanic sisters and everyone that works there speaks Spanish, so I love that he's in a bilingual environment. There's been studies that have shown many, many benefits to children who grow up bilingual, so that's a huge plus.
I guess what it comes to is knowing yourself and your family dynamic. Ask yourself if you would be genuinely happy and feel fulfilled if you stayed home/went back to work. And of course finances are a major component as well. If you go back to work and you're essentially working to pay for daycare, then it may not make the most sense. It's a tough choice, but you have to go with your gut and do what will work best for your family.
But women are all different. If you know what you want, and see a path to get there, go for it. Still want to work but worry about leaving baby? Don't let the fear paralyze you. Want to stay home butvm worry about finances? Don't just worry, crunch the numbers and see if you can make a plan.
Even when moms are itching to go back to work it is hard hard hard to leave yiur baby, whether they are 3 months or 3 years. My mom cares for my son and I still find it hard. I guess that's not really helpful except to say if you feel that way you are not alone. And it gets better over time!
When it comes down to it, a prosvons list isn't gonna cut it. What matters is what is most important to you and your husband.
And whatever you decide there will be an army of internet people judging you. Don't give them the time of day!!!!!
@Gators&BoSox and @datalover13 it's been so crazy to read how much day care is!!! That is definitely a big consideration! But, on the flip side, I can totally see myself being too emotional to drop off. Making DH do the drop off is a great idea!!!! The pumping thing is an interesting consideration too.
@korpisar that's so nice that your family was able to do it! "Mommy No Work" would be heartbreaking!!!!
omg @kiyamurph! I had honestly (naively?) never given a thought to the whole "what if I stop working outside the home and then DH dies/leaves me/whatever" but last week I was googling how different women made the decision to become a SAHM and so many women mentioned it! A bilingual day care is SUCH a benefit. There are a couple Spanish immersion preschools close to my house. I need to see if any of the day care programs are immersion programs. I wish I could just fast forward to how I'm feeling in June 2017!!
@longliveregina that was very helpful! I'm already worried about making the wrong decision (either way!) but I just need to remember that lots of people feel this way, and if I make the wrong decision, I can also un-make it. Lucky for us, the internet judgeys will be there either way! LOL!!
Married: 8/2005.
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD: 3/4/2017.
Me: 37
DH: 36
Married: 08-25-07
DS: 11-20-09
Name change alert: Formerly Lisswastaken
I worked at the hospital I delivered in so I had coworkers come up the next morning, and my MIL who we had been estranged from was allowed to come meet him. I actually enjoyed the company.
When my older sister had her kids, we all lived in the same town and were in the waiting room when she had hers. She loved having us there. I think it just depends on what you want! If you know you're going to need some time with just your little family, make that clear to everyone else. Your baby, you get to decide. Not much will change about the munchkin in the first few days anyway.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
And sitting in the waiting room throughout labor is just weird. You could be in labor for DAYS (hopefully not, but still).
I suggest you imagine what you want your first few days with baby to be like. Do you envision your family there? Have them meet you at your house when you are discharged (preferablywitj food firyou!). Do you picture a quiet time of just you and hubby? Tell people no and refuse to feel bad when they whine. Your neices are probably too young to think about how you feel in this circumstance: they are swept up up in the excitement of a baby cousin.
You can tell the hospital to not allow any visitors if you are worried about people barging in.
DH: 33
Furbaby: Walther, 4 year old Rottweiler/Coonhound mix
EDD: 3/7/17<img
Thanks!!
High School Sweethearts: 10/13/06
Married: 10/13/13
Baby #1 EDD: 3/20/17
I'm a FTM and heard stories from one side about a mom who asked grandparents not to show up until the day after she delivered. She told everyone well before the birth that she loved them and was excited for them to meet the baby but wanted privacy for herself and her husband and new baby on the day she actually delivered. It wasn't a surprise for anyone, and she got exactly what she wanted.
I haven't toured the hospital, but I am going there for the first time at the end of the month since I'm AMA and my anatomy scan is with MFM at the hospital.
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
It is not worth it to get Dreft detergeant: just get your brand free and clear (no dyesor perfumes). Dreft is scented and actually was bad for my baby's skin!!! It's a total racket, get even make different types of dreft for different ages babies, and I'd is all uneessaey.
That being said, there are some days that I wouldn't mind being at work instead of with a whining toddler, but the good days strongly outweigh the bad times, so I know I made the right decision
i didn't really think much beyond that no one was allowed in the room while I was giving birth besides my hubs. (My mother in law was in the room with 2 of her grandkids.. no thanks!!) my mom and sister, and my husbands mom and dad were all at the hospital when my daughter was born, basically standing outside the door. I didn't mind, they were not allowed in the room for a couple of hours afterwards either. From what I here, they had a happy hour in the waiting room! That's just how my family is! They came in when they were allowed and stayed for maybe 20 min. Then they left and no one came until the next day! I loved having family there right away, but it was very nice they only stayed for a little bit then gave us our space!
@longliveregina i bet you're a great teacher!! I hope you guys figure out how to make it work so that you can stay home in September!!
Married: 8/2005.
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD: 3/4/2017.
Last week I was at my OB appointment and was reading a poster that stressed how important the first hours is and it should be for baby/mommy only. It showed how it takes a few minutes for the baby to get acquanted with you and how skin-to-skin is important and around 30 minutes is when they first try to eat, ect. Maybe you can use that to convince your husband to wait a little after birth to invite family.
https://babyclothes.about.com/od/babyclothingcare/tp/5-Baby-Laundry-Tips-For-New-Parents.htm
Not all baby clothes are flame retardant
But fabric softener in any case is tough in sensitive skin.
Married in April 2007
One Furbaby - Adorable Pitt Mix
15 Months TTC....2nd Cycle of Letrozole - Success!
Expecting our first two little miracles - Boy/Girl Twins! - EDD March 3, 2017
High Risk Pregnancy - Type 1 Diabetic; Hypothyroidism; Di/Di Twin Pregnancy
thanks for your advice @mauiquickie!! I am glad that you were able to make being a SAHM work for you!!
Married: 8/2005.
BFP: 6/22/2016 EDD: 3/4/2017.