I'm also in the 'like to work but want more time with my child' camp. I've already requested a more flexible schedule with work but was denied. Which is disappointing but I understand that they have a business to run. I just wish that all employees had the option of bringing their kids to work or working from home.
There's no way for me to fully quit, nor would I want to but dang, it feels awful only seeing DS for a sliver of time at night and in the morning. Weekends are all we've got.
Anyone's husband becoming the SAHP? We both love what we do and are pretty equal pay-wise, but we agree that Mr. Man would be waay better suited to being at home. He would totally have a structured plan for each day and then actually do it, like the most pinterest-perfect moms out there. He would end up guest-authoring magazines or some crap. Me? I'd change from my night pajamas to my day pajamas and the kids would always be sticky.
I think It's kinda funny whenever relatives ask if I'm going to stay home (which is often)... it's like, whywould it be me?
@BumpasaurusRex i'm sorry your job wasn't flexible with you. i get that they need to run a business, but i'd like to think they'd like to keep good employees and offer some work-life balance too? i keep seeing these articles about how the US workplace is the worst for parents. not cool at all. but you're right, we all need to do what we have to do. bills have got to get paid.
Being a SAHM is great BUT i always feel like I should be contributing financially. I need to find something where I can have flexibility and also some money for all my arts and crafts projects. We plan to homeschool so I'll be home for quite some time. I thought about getting into real estate @Partyof6? But I don't know if I have the personality for it.
I am completely on the fence about what to do about work. My H travels and I work a decent amount too. I also have about a 45 minute commute, the turns into an hour with rush hour. So, I am generally gone from about 7:15 am to 6:15 or 6:30 at night. I just don't know how I would do that, especially when most of the week I would be doing it alone. BUT, I love my job, I love my coworkers, I make good money, etc. So I dont know what to do. I had a pretty frank conversation with my H last night about expectations if I do quit and everything. And we are on the same page. I may go to my manager and see if she is flexible about me getting out of her earlier or working from home a day or two. Not sure how well that would go over. Either way, we DID decide that if I quit, I am putting in my notice in at the end of January and I will start on my H's insurance in the new year. That was a HUGE weight lifted, that's been really bothering me lately.
I also think at the end of the day there isn't a wrong or right decision. There are advantages to both scenarios and it's just a matter of what works for you and your family that is the RIGHT decision.
Being a SAHM is great BUT i always feel like I should be contributing financially. I need to find something where I can have flexibility and also some money for all my arts and crafts projects. We plan to homeschool so I'll be home for quite some time. I thought about getting into real estate @Partyof6? But I don't know if I have the personality for it.
See, I always viewed SAHP as financially contributing by keeping daycare costs at bay. That is a HUGE savings so in my mind, you are directly contributing to the household finances by staying home. Please don't feel like it's not.
But I do understand wanting to have something of your own in which you get compensated for, I get that. I'd also love to get into part-time real estate but we don't have the funds right now for me to do the schooling. Although the last time I checked, there were some good Groupons for it.
DH and I discussed it last night, and we agreed that I will be telling them closer to the due date that I will not be coming back. I wanted to tell them next week, but he had a good point that they only ask for two weeks notice, and I will still be giving them about a month/6 weeks + mat leave if I tell them at the beginning of next year.
Plus, I didn't think about this before, but my company does bonuses based on prior year's performance that could potentially come in before my maternity leave, based on reviews starting next month. I hate to be this way, but I earned a bonus this year and I'd hate to see it dry up if I told them before they do my review. I worked my butt off for them this year, and it could be substantial enough to buy all our needed baby gear.
Oh and also, DH'S interview for the supervisor position got postponed due to the hurricane, so it's now today at 1. Any T&Ps you ladies have to spare would be much appreciated!
Anyone's husband becoming the SAHP? We both love what we do and are pretty equal pay-wise, but we agree that Mr. Man would be waay better suited to being at home. He would totally have a structured plan for each day and then actually do it, like the most pinterest-perfect moms out there. He would end up guest-authoring magazines or some crap. Me? I'd change from my night pajamas to my day pajamas and the kids would always be sticky.
I think It's kinda funny whenever relatives ask if I'm going to stay home (which is often)... it's like, whywould it be me?
My former boss lady's H stayed at home with their 5 kids and he was really awesome at it. Granted, she had the education and career so it was a no brainer for them. But he is great- also homeschools them!
Right now, H and I make almost EXACTLY the same. He make 2cents more an hour, but gets a crap ton of OT in the fall. (He logged 55 hours two weeks ago- cha-chiiing). But we both make pretty good money so me bowing out would definitely harm us financially AND my job has the sweet benefits at the university. Our long term plan is for him to eventually get a job at the university and then I can SAH PT and Doula FT as a labor and PP Doula. I know I could make around the same amount if I marketed well and increased my service area, but we need that health insurance and retirement KWIM?
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
Good morning, long lost friends! (Looking at you, @homemake ). I haven't been on in so long; life just hit hard. At the moment, I'm fighting through week 2 of an awful cold. My coughing has sent my husband to the couch several nights now. Are we having fun yet...
I'm speed-lurking through the posts, but would any regulars want to give me a bulletpoint highlight reel from the past month?
Ohandalso, just for giggles. We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend. My very cute, very tall almost-two-year old was his usual sour patch kid self. Picture op time was definitely sour. Guys, this is real life:
And yes, yes I am wearing maternity overalls, and you better believe I drank my basic self happy with a pumpkin spice latte on the drive up because FALL.
Deciding to stay at home was easier for me. I wasn't able to go part time with the current position I had. I found a part time position elsewhere and did that for 6 months- the grass was NOT greener. I was miserable and I couldn't get into a work frame of mind while I was at work. My dh's job isn't a m-f 9-5 it's a 12 hour shift that changes weekly, so having he home made life way easier than doing random drop offs at a daycare. Plus dd was in the hospital for 5 days at 7 months, so that kind of sealed the deal.
To each there own, you know what you can and can't handle; you also know what is right for your family. I give mad props to all working moms out there.
I feel so much for everyone trying to figure out the maternity leave situation. My first babies, my twins, were born in April and I was a teacher. I had been pulled out on bed rest about a month before. I went in for the last teacher day in June, and then had the summer, but by August, I was a mess at leaving them.
I worked that next school year and about lost my mind. I knew I couldn't do it full time. At the end of the year, I transitioned to bring a stay at home mom. When my youngest was born, we were in horrible shape financially, but my mental health was much better.
Now that I do real estate I am a full time SAHM and a full time Realtor. It is the perfect balance for me. I can work my own hours, be there for the kids, and when this baby comes, I can refer business out to colleagues.
I hope everyone can find the right balance, and just remember that there is no right way, you just need to do what is right for your family and yourself!
How many hours a week do you tend to put in as a FT realtor? And do you make your own hours? Ive been thinking about doing Real Estate for years and even our own realtor has offered to mentor me. It would be nice because we wouldn't be relying on my income, it would be "extra".
It has been really wonderful reading everyone's perspective on mat leave/working/staying home--thanks, ladies! It comforts me to hear that though everyone has chosen a slightly different path, everyone seemed to find something that worked for them. I will attempt to exercise some patience in this area...not always my strong suit.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
@jlellis603 Do you have short term disability benenefits? If so, I would reach out to the admin for that (at my company it's MetLife) - they would be able to tell you whether you would have to return the benefits if you quit. Plus, they don't work directly for your company in the same way HR does, so there isn't a risk of your boss finding out about that.
As for health insurance... Does your company have any sort of handbook? I had to dig kind of deep to find any info about health insurance premiums and maternity leave, but it was in there. Otherwise, if you're lucky enough to have an HR department, I would go to them. They should keep it confidential, but if you tell them that you plan to return after maternity leave but have been worrying about whether something will prevent you from doing so (like not being able to find a daycare that works in your price range, the child being sick, etc.) and want to know what would happen, for your own peace of mind, if you had to quit while on leave.
How many of you are going to be starting maternity leave before baby is born? I'm going to be working up until the day that I go into labor. I'm jealous of all of you that are able to use some of your leave early!
I will say that I have enjoyed working 2 days a week, but the problem is that as Violet is getting older and more social it sucks having to miss weekend plans. I only have to option to work sat/sun or not at all, so I'm thinking about quitting after the baby gets here. Of course I would go back and give notice, but I'm not in an important position and I cost them a fortune so they would probably be happy to lose me haha. They could literally pay two new people for what they pay me.
@MrsP052909 I'm due on 02/14 but my last day will be 02/02 if all goes as planned. I'm in the middle of interviewing for my position now so they will have a couple months if training before I go. My co-workers think LO will come super early so they don't think I will make it that long. We will see!
Is anyone else planning on working till they pop? My job can be so low-key that I don't think it will be an issue. I am due 2/13, but I am fully aware how late this baby can be (DD2 was 8 days late- aiyaiyai) and I want as much time at home with baby as possible! Unless they extend leave?
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
+1 to working until I pop. I want as much time with baby as possible and I don't want to waste a week or two just sitting around waiting for him to arrive.
How many of you are going to be starting maternity leave before baby is born? I'm going to be working up until the day that I go into labor. I'm jealous of all of you that are able to use some of your leave early!
Im going to be on leave from 23 dec, although with my annual leave & Christmas holidays my maternity doesnt actually start until 9th jan (im due 29th jan). I considered coming back for 2 weeks after Christmas but thought it would be tidier to finish at the holidays as i would be able to hand over my projects etc & my heart prob wouldnt be in it for those 2 weeks. In the uk, your maternity leave has to start at the very latest either on your due date or if you go early, on the day of "confinement". But you can start it as early as you like really.
@peachesnbean Assuming I have no complications, I'm planning on working right up till this baby shoots out the vag. I'm in the same boat--my job is relatively flexible and should be fairly low-key by then (e.g. I won't be teaching any classes), and I want as much of my leave time as possible to be with baby. My friend just spent the first 10 days of her leave just waiting for the baby to come and going bonkers, which I hope to avoid.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Yep! I am very lucky with how easy going my team is. When my m/s was out of hand I barely took any sick days because I was able to do things that didn't totally trigger nausea/vomiting. Plus I have a lot of stairs to climb here, so that can't hurt move things along.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@scifichick09 thanks! I got them with my middle son's pregnancy at a place in the mall (a pea in the pod?), but I've seen them at other places like that and online since.
@peachesnbean I am working until I go into labor. I have timed my maternity leave so that I will take 4-6 weeks off full time, then go back part time working only on the days my husband is off, after that he will take a month off. That will take us to June when my MIL is moving here and will start watching our two older kids and the baby. None of my leave is paid so I can't afford any more time off.
+1 to working until I go into labor. My job is really laid back, I sit at a desk all day, I don't see it being an issue. My coworker will even drive me to hospital if I go into labor at the office!
I am working till I pop. As a teacher it will be ruff but I need to save all my days for the when the baby comes out, if I am feeling really bad that day, that is what a history video is for
Hi everyone, I'm just jumping right in here. Haven't really been on the boards since my first few weeks of pregnancy but figured maybe I could just pop back in for fellow preggo talk :-)
My last pregnancy my last day of work was about a week before my due date. I originally wanted to stay longer but I was so swollen and achy by the end and hating my job didn't help with the motivation to stay :-) This time around I'm not sure. My work situation is different now. I'm part time so I technicaly don't have maternity leave and my boss and I haven't worked out how we want to handle it yet, so we'll see! Hopefully sooner rather than later because I like a plan!
Planning on working up until the day before my c-section. It will be so hard because I work retail, but I'd rather use all of my 12 weeks with the baby girl.
Also working until I pop - or until it's clear labor is imminent. Baby is due 2/20, but knowing that a lot of people go over 40 weeks with the first kid, I am hoping I can work past then if he's late. I think my work would probably let me work from home at the very end, I'll have to talk to them about that.
@HeatSparks Sorry you're sick! FWIW I think your photo op is way cuter than posee, because it's real life.
Thanks ladies for the wishes for DH! I'm anxiously awaiting word... 42 minutes until interview start, could last up to an hour. They have one other serious contender; he is also internal, and has about 30 years experience compared to DH'S 10 years. However, he plans to retire in the next year, and is not much for computers and paperwork, which is a large part of this job.
+1 also working until I pop. This probably could have gone in MBF or TW board but I was just informed yesterday I will be training a new person starting in early December, while still maintaining my current workload plus my direct reports. Our training program is pretty intense and lasts 12-15 weeks so I will basically be training this person until I pop. I work in corporate retail so obviously December is one of our busiest times of the year. Totally not how I wanted to spend my last three months before going on maternity leave!
Re: Weekly Randoms (10/17)
There's no way for me to fully quit, nor would I want to but dang, it feels awful only seeing DS for a sliver of time at night and in the morning. Weekends are all we've got.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I think It's kinda funny whenever relatives ask if I'm going to stay home (which is often)... it's like, why would it be me?
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
I am completely on the fence about what to do about work. My H travels and I work a decent amount too. I also have about a 45 minute commute, the turns into an hour with rush hour. So, I am generally gone from about 7:15 am to 6:15 or 6:30 at night. I just don't know how I would do that, especially when most of the week I would be doing it alone. BUT, I love my job, I love my coworkers, I make good money, etc. So I dont know what to do. I had a pretty frank conversation with my H last night about expectations if I do quit and everything. And we are on the same page. I may go to my manager and see if she is flexible about me getting out of her earlier or working from home a day or two. Not sure how well that would go over. Either way, we DID decide that if I quit, I am putting in my notice in at the end of January and I will start on my H's insurance in the new year. That was a HUGE weight lifted, that's been really bothering me lately.
I also think at the end of the day there isn't a wrong or right decision. There are advantages to both scenarios and it's just a matter of what works for you and your family that is the RIGHT decision.
But I do understand wanting to have something of your own in which you get compensated for, I get that. I'd also love to get into part-time real estate but we don't have the funds right now for me to do the schooling. Although the last time I checked, there were some good Groupons for it.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
But this is how my bday goes:
Plus, I didn't think about this before, but my company does bonuses based on prior year's performance that could potentially come in before my maternity leave, based on reviews starting next month. I hate to be this way, but I earned a bonus this year and I'd hate to see it dry up if I told them before they do my review. I worked my butt off for them this year, and it could be substantial enough to buy all our needed baby gear.
Right now, H and I make almost EXACTLY the same. He make 2cents more an hour, but gets a crap ton of OT in the fall. (He logged 55 hours two weeks ago- cha-chiiing). But we both make pretty good money so me bowing out would definitely harm us financially AND my job has the sweet benefits at the university. Our long term plan is for him to eventually get a job at the university and then I can SAH PT and Doula FT as a labor and PP Doula. I know I could make around the same amount if I marketed well and increased my service area, but we need that health insurance and retirement KWIM?
I'm speed-lurking through the posts, but would any regulars want to give me a bulletpoint highlight reel from the past month?
And yes, yes I am wearing maternity overalls, and you better believe I drank my basic self happy with a pumpkin spice latte on the drive up because FALL.
To each there own, you know what you can and can't handle; you also know what is right for your family. I give mad props to all working moms out there.
ETA: good luck to you and your husband @WinchesterGirl
Good luck!
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Ive been thinking about doing Real Estate for years and even our own realtor has offered to mentor me. It would be nice because we wouldn't be relying on my income, it would be "extra".
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
As for health insurance... Does your company have any sort of handbook? I had to dig kind of deep to find any info about health insurance premiums and maternity leave, but it was in there. Otherwise, if you're lucky enough to have an HR department, I would go to them. They should keep it confidential, but if you tell them that you plan to return after maternity leave but have been worrying about whether something will prevent you from doing so (like not being able to find a daycare that works in your price range, the child being sick, etc.) and want to know what would happen, for your own peace of mind, if you had to quit while on leave.
I only have to option to work sat/sun or not at all, so I'm thinking about quitting after the baby gets here. Of course I would go back and give notice, but I'm not in an important position and I cost them a fortune so they would probably be happy to lose me haha. They could literally pay two new people for what they pay me.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
As a teacher it will be ruff but I need to save all my days for the when the baby comes out, if I am feeling really bad that day, that is what a history video is for
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
Hi everyone, I'm just jumping right in here. Haven't really been on the boards since my first few weeks of pregnancy but figured maybe I could just pop back in for fellow preggo talk :-)
My last pregnancy my last day of work was about a week before my due date. I originally wanted to stay longer but I was so swollen and achy by the end and hating my job didn't help with the motivation to stay :-) This time around I'm not sure. My work situation is different now. I'm part time so I technicaly don't have maternity leave and my boss and I haven't worked out how we want to handle it yet, so we'll see! Hopefully sooner rather than later because I like a plan!
Thanks ladies for the wishes for DH! I'm anxiously awaiting word... 42 minutes until interview start, could last up to an hour. They have one other serious contender; he is also internal, and has about 30 years experience compared to DH'S 10 years. However, he plans to retire in the next year, and is not much for computers and paperwork, which is a large part of this job.
How safe are the TSA body scanners while pregnant? Would you go through it or opt to be patted down?
Me: 37 - H: 39
TTC#1: 01/2016
BFP: 06/18/2016 - EDD: 02/20/2017 - Born: 01/27/2017