@lct2008 This is why I'm delivering an hour from my house.
And totally agree about being able to move around. My doctor and nurses last time so heavily encouraged moving around. I think it helps a lot too unless you are unable to. I literally stood the whole time I was laboring until about 30 minutes before I started pushing.
I had the easiest med-free delivery with the WORST tear. She was only 7lbs (and .08 ozs) but I was stitched for about 2 hours after delivery. It hurt to pee. Pooping was fine with a stool softener. I sat on the boppy for about 2 weeks. By far the worst part of the whole thing for me and I'm not prepared for it to happen again!!!
To add a positive spin to the big baby discussion, my SIL had a 10 lb baby her second time and had 0 tears, picture perfect induction. She came in that AM to get induced, got an epidural ASAP, and by 5 PM he was out and healthy; no tears, no complications.
That is not what I'm hoping for (I'm hoping to go med-free), but she was extremely happy with her labor and delivery experience, and his size was no problem whatsoever.
I think it's important to remember that everyone's story is different.
Also - we got married on a beach with just the kids. It was awesome! Then we just took them out for a fancy dinner after But it was the second marriage for both of us so we knew how stressful/expensive a big wedding can be and wanted to do it much easier this time around.
Mom had meet 1 day from being a month late I forget how big I was but mom said I was the biggest baby there. She had no tearing but they were looking for the Dr who could to do a c-section but they could not find them so I ended going out the old fashion way.They were yelling at her not to push, that she was killing me... not fun. Luckily they never let women go this late anymore, but this is what you get for an army hospital in the 80's.
Mom keeps telling me that all the fears we have about birthing will go away because by the time we get close to the due date you just want they baby out of you.
@lct2008 so sorry you had to deal with a jerk doctor. That's definitely something that I'm afraid of. My hospital has birthing balls, bars, etc. in all of the rooms so I think that's a good sign that I'll be allowed to move around, even if I'm not cleared for the attached birthing center, but I feel like you never know who you'll get if someone from your current practice isn't available or something.
So I've been doing a lot of research on what best helps labor and you all are exactly right- moving progresses labor and tearing is MUCH better than being cut. I think you need a good advocate on your side- a doula or your H or mom or whoever. That way you reduce the risk of having a bad experience or having unnecessary interventions.
We're going to a birthing center with a midwife practice but if something happens and I need to go to the hospital I want to be able to move freely (no IVs, no fetal heart monitor), I don't want to be cut and I only want a c-section if my or the baby's life is at risk. A baby is the goal!
So I've been doing a lot of research on what best helps labor and you all are exactly right- moving progresses labor and tearing is MUCH better than being cut. I think you need a good advocate on your side- a doula or your H or mom or whoever. That way you reduce the risk of having a bad experience or having unnecessary interventions.
We're going to a birthing center with a midwife practice but if something happens and I need to go to the hospital I want to be able to move freely (no IVs, no fetal heart monitor), I don't want to be cut and I only want a c-section if my or the baby's life is at risk. A baby is the goal!
Do they let you have this as an option? I thought it was mandatory for them to have the heart rate monitor, and an IV in place for emergencies?
Edit: fun fact about DDs birth. I don't remember doing this at all, but apparently my IV was bothering me because at some point, I ripped that sucker out on my own. I went med free, and I wasn't yelling and screaming or any of that nonsence, but my husband and the nurses ended up telling me that I ripped my IV out and took a swing at my own vagina lol.
My hospital does, @kswiger06. Assuming all else is low-risk, of course. Right now I'm coded as preparing for my hospital's alternative birthing center. This place is great, but it only has one room so many people who want to birth there get closed out. They tell me that if I'm coded for the ABC, they'll assume I want a similar low-intervention birth and continue to give me those options even if I end up in the main hospital.
Now my main concern, if I continue to measure large, is that all of those options will be taken away from me. There are lots of numbers showing that the medical provider's perception that a baby is large is much more correlated to interventions than the baby's actual size at birth. I'm prepared to advocate for myself, but it's so hard to know where the line is between advocating for myself and trusting the advice of my medical providers.
@Xstatic3333 I think even if you end up with certain unforeseen circumstances you can still be free to move around as long as your hospital has the resources. Like I was GBS+ so I had to have the IV and at my hospital the heart monitor was mandatory but both things were able to leave the room with me to walk around.
Are you having another ultrasound later in pregnancy to confirm size? I'm not this time and I didn't last time so I had no idea what I was dealing with. Although when I met the doctor delivering my baby she took one look at my belly and said "that is not a 6 or 7 lb baby that's for sure".
@kswiger06 it varies. But for me, unless there is an evidence-based medical reason for the intervention, I don't want it. Thus, no IV and no FHM.
@Xstatic3333 I've read that too. Unfortunately. so many drs are terrified of getting sued-- it really colors their care for you. They'd much rather do a c-section and, honestly, I don't blame them.
Let me know if you figure out how to walk that line :-)
Add me to the small wedding. We got married in Hawaii with 25 people. It actually worked well because we invited all sides of family to not offend anyone, but still had the small wedding we wanted. My husbands brother got married and had 350+ people- not what I wanted at all. We had full support from each of our parents and didn't feel guilty about people who didn't get to come. We had a small backyard party when we got back for people who wanted to come.
I have had two VBACs, both with small babies(5.5lbs, 6.75lbs) and had first degreee tears with both. Very minor stitching. Still better then my recovery with my CS IMO.
Yes if you want meds you will need at least a bag of fluids before you get them. But if you don't want meds you can probably go completely without an IV!
@homemake they only do one if necessary, but they did say they would if I continue to have large fundal measurements. I know those can be way off, as can the US's, but it'll trigger them wanting to get another look. Even though I'm with midwives, they're very cautious.
I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by the big baby comments. Yesterday in prenatal yoga, I walked right in and someone said, "I bet you're due in December too!" Ummmmm, nope! Not even especially close. It's causing me a lot of anxiety. I know it'll be the main topic of conversation at my shower this weekend. I try to just make jokes about it but inside it bugs the heck out of me. I don't know why I'm not like every other FTM who wonders why they aren't showing more. Maybe my super weak abs? LOL.
Oooh, I was never given the options of the heart rate monitor or the IV... maybe because I was so much younger they just did what they wanted? Idk, I like the heart rate monitor, but I'd definitely like to skip the IV. It always takes them multiple tries to get it in, and I guess I might unintentionally rip it out anyway lol. I need to start a list of these questions to ask my Dr just so I am more familiar with how things will go. I'll deliver with the Dr and hospital no matter what, due to being able to stay closer to my other kids, but I'd like to know my options...
@Xstatic3333 I know you *could* have a bigger baby, but I'm sorry you get so many people saying that you've got to be harboring a big one. In the HDBD pictures you've posted, I don't personally think you look like your about to be due in december. I got compared the other day to my neighbors granddaughter in law... she's due less than 2 weeks behind me, is a STM and I was told I'm much bigger than her. It didn't really bother me, it is what it is, but we are all different. And BTW my sister was told to expect a 9+ lb baby, based off measurements and her ultrasound, and when she delivered, her baby was only 6lbs 10 oz... I think they amuse themselves by making guesses lol.
@kswiger I was also able to labor without any IVs or monitors at my hospital. It probably varies.
My first I got the epidural so the IV and stuff seemed standard, but when I had baby 2, I got in the hospital and delivered within 1/2 hour... they still hooked me all up. Did they ask you or did you have to stop and tell them?
I know it could be totally off @kswiger06! I'm just so worried about the perception coloring the treatment I receive come birth time. I know I shouldn't let it get to me so much. Thanks for your comments
I know @Xstatic3333 I guess it doesn't make you feel better when it can still affect your birth plan... I hope it goes how you imagine!!
Thanks. I do know I need to be flexible and that a healthy baby is most important. I think I need to ask the MWs at my next appointment what the procedure would be if the baby is measuring large for gestational age so I stop wildly speculating and going to the worst possible scenario in my head.
@kswiger I was also able to labor without any IVs or monitors at my hospital. It probably varies.
My first I got the epidural so the IV and stuff seemed standard, but when I had baby 2, I got in the hospital and delivered within 1/2 hour... they still hooked me all up. Did they ask you or did you have to stop and tell them?
I delivered fast too, so basically the nurse said that I needed a whole bag of fluids before they could give me anything. Since they didn't have time, they completely skipped it. I might have gotten the monitors when I was pushing and just blocked it out? But I don't remember having anything.
Is anyone else planning on trying to have a med free birth? Or STMs who had a med free birth that have any tips or recommendations - or who changed their minds and are glad they didn't go med-free? I've read Ina May Gaskin, have a doula, am taking a natural childbirth class, so I feel like I'm doing all I can to prepare, but I still feel like I just have no idea if I can do it!!
@MissMerciBeaucoup I'm going for it this time. Good luck to you girl! I was on the fence last time and kept all my possibilities open... then I gave in to get the epidural and it didn't work. I have slight scoliosis and I asked a family friend who places epidurals if it would happen again and she said there's no way to tell. This time I'm going into it with wanting med free. I hope I can stick with it.
I had a dream that I gave in to get the epidural and my husband ran in and yelled "NO we can't afford it!". Hahahaha, I told him about it and he was horrified at his dream self.
I had one of each, med free and with epidural. In my experience I feel like I recovered much quicker going med free. I was scared because I felt everything going on, but after it was over I was so much happier it was med free. I hope to go med free again, but when I'm there in the moment who knows what I'll actually do. I think we've had a thread about previous births before, but I'm not sure... but I do know wherever I read about different people experiences that some people loved their epidural, (I hated mine) and some people prefer going med free like me. I think I'd say to just be open to whatever happens, and not feel bad about whatever decision you make.
@xstatic3333 My SIL was getting the same comments you have been getting and she ended up almost slowing down at the end! She seemed to pop pretty early, but her last 6-8 weeks she didn't really get much larger at all. And then she ended up having a baby that was in the mid 8 lb range.
All the meds here... because it will be my 3rd c-section. I'll be at a different hospital this time, so I'm hoping they dont screw up the anesthesia like last time! I got too much and by the time our son was born, I was puking and passing out. Poor DH was running back and forth like a crazy person between a wife passing out with BP of 70/30 and a little blue baby that wasn't crying yet.
I've had two med free births and plan to hopefully have a third as well! I didn't really do anything to prepare honestly. While in the moment I found that having something simple to focus on during contractions was what helped me. So like the first birth there was a thing on the ceiling that had like 4 or 5 screws and during contractions I'd just focus on it and count the screws in a circle over and over until the contraction passed. Different hospital so not the same thing but I also used the concept for my second delivery. It was like it was something to keep my mind of the contractions and I had to "focus" on, but not so much that it was impossible and I gave up. Like a crossword or reading etc would have been impossible and I totally would have been like forget this! But it was just enough to take the edge off of the contractions in the moment. Just my personal experience and what worked for me. Everyone is different and has different experiences though. Now I never have had an epidural to compare it to, but from people I know who have done both I hear that they preferred their med free recovery wise and honestly I felt pretty great after both of my deliveries.
I'm hoping for a med free birth! I think I can do it but I trust my midwives and if there is an issue, I'll do what they suggest. Their goal is med free also, so if they suggest meds it is for a very good reason.
I enjoyed the birth with the epidural as much as the med-free. My recovery was just as good with the epidural, if anything I was much more rested and awake after having the epidural than going med-free.
I think you will find people who hated and loved med-free and you will find people who hated and loved epidurals or other meds.
I don't know what I will do this time. I will wait and see what I feel like at the time. When I was med-free I hadn't made a plan and I didnt do anything to deal with the pain. It was my first birth and I had no idea what to expect. Now that I know what's coming I am very open to pain relief if I decide I want it. I know I can do it, I know the pain is for a reason and all that, I just might decide I don't want to feel all the pain.
I'm concerned about my three year old son. Four school days in a row he has peed in his pants and last night he wet the bed. He has been potty trained for several months now, and has wet himself at night maybe 2 times since he was about a year old. He would always wake up with a dry diaper. He recently transitioned to a preschool in Sept and has not been enjoying it. I am in the process of moving him to a different preschool because the teachers haven't been the greatest with communication and I no longer feel it's a space that welcomes my questions or concerns. A main concern is a boy who I have witnessed hit multiple children, and for about two weeks now he and my son have gotten into some sort of physical altercation daily. Mind you, the staff never told me this, my son does. I asked the teacher what was happening with this situation and she did acknowledge it was happening but blamed both kids. The only intervention is to remind them to keep hands and feet to themselves, but nothing to prevent it. This worries me as I do not want him to go to school and fight on a daily basis. And this kid punches him in the eyes and face. I don't blame the other kid. I hear he comes from a troubled home and has some emotional issues. I just want the staff to support him as well as ensure the safety of the other students, especially my son who is getting into it daily with him. Now my son says his teachers are mean and hit him, which I don't believe necessarily, but I wonder why he is suddenly saying these things. He also has had a mild stuttering problem since age 2.5 and is starting speech therapy twice a month. Last night his stutter was so bad, it broke my heart. I don't know if this new peeing on himself is due to stuff going on at school or maybe the pregnancy? I'm keeping him home today to take him to the doctor to rule out infection or any physical problems and then taking him to an indoor playground for some one on one time. Im so worried about my boy feeling afraid or sad about something and not being able to express it to me.
Just needed to vent.
ETA: just realized I posted this in the wrong Randoms thread.
@foxrosy the teachers should be telling you when things like that are going on. I'm sorry your son is going through all of that and I hope nothing's wrong. I would be looking into other schools if it was me too. Poor little guy! I hope you guys have a stress free relaxing day together today.
I missed a good portion of this conversation. @Xstatic3333 - I didn't read everything, but re: fundal height I ALWAYS measure ahead. With DD1 I was consistently 2 weeks ahead, with DD2 consistently 3 weeks ahead. One time with DD2 I suddenly measured 6 weeks ahead so they did an u/s to check on her growth and amniotic fluid level and my diagnosis was "an insignificantly large baby". AKA- she was big, but it wasn't something that would necessitate a cesarean birth. The following appointment and for the rest of them I measured 4 weeks ahead. If you have different practitioners measuring it can make a world of difference. They are measuring in CENTIMETERS. At my last appointment with this baby they did a fundal height measurement and my MW asked me where I felt like my pelvic bone started. LOL! And I was 3 weeks ahead. It isn't a big deal and for the most part they are looking for big jumps or losses as you progress. Kinda like in the early stages with our HCG... the number itself doesn't matter, just its growth pattern.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@homemake they only do one if necessary, but they did say they would if I continue to have large fundal measurements. I know those can be way off, as can the US's, but it'll trigger them wanting to get another look. Even though I'm with midwives, they're very cautious.
I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by the big baby comments. Yesterday in prenatal yoga, I walked right in and someone said, "I bet you're due in December too!" Ummmmm, nope! Not even especially close. It's causing me a lot of anxiety. I know it'll be the main topic of conversation at my shower this weekend. I try to just make jokes about it but inside it bugs the heck out of me. I don't know why I'm not like every other FTM who wonders why they aren't showing more. Maybe my super weak abs? LOL.
You could be making a huge placenta too! Hahah. My placentas are always HUGE. My placentas have been so big they've both gone to pathology. Nothing wrong, just huge. I think they were both close to 2.5 lbs.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
So I've been doing a lot of research on what best helps labor and you all are exactly right- moving progresses labor and tearing is MUCH better than being cut. I think you need a good advocate on your side- a doula or your H or mom or whoever. That way you reduce the risk of having a bad experience or having unnecessary interventions.
We're going to a birthing center with a midwife practice but if something happens and I need to go to the hospital I want to be able to move freely (no IVs, no fetal heart monitor), I don't want to be cut and I only want a c-section if my or the baby's life is at risk. A baby is the goal!
Do they let you have this as an option? I thought it was mandatory for them to have the heart rate monitor, and an IV in place for emergencies?
Edit: fun fact about DDs birth. I don't remember doing this at all, but apparently my IV was bothering me because at some point, I ripped that sucker out on my own. I went med free, and I wasn't yelling and screaming or any of that nonsence, but my husband and the nurses ended up telling me that I ripped my IV out and took a swing at my own vagina lol.
I could be wrong, but I believe if she is moved in the thick of it an IV and line and monitor will be necessary, but she may be able to get intermittent monitoring and no IV if she *starts* at the hospital. If there is a reason for transfer it will be considered emergency and they won't mess around. Free movement won't be totally off the table or even a vaginal birth, but they will want to see how baby and mom are doing and will want the IV ready in case.
For a regular hospital birth that was never planned at a birthing center- it depends on the doc, but most you can convince or ask for intermittent monitoring (or wireless with the screen shut off, the nurses can see at their station but you can't) and no IV. The IV is less negotiable if abx are needed for group B strep.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@AfKash - Tearing has a lot to do with positioning and speed of delivery. When your doc/mw tells you to slow down- SLOW down. Hands and knees or squatting if you have the stamina are the best positions (as long as baby is well positioned) to prevent tearing in my experience. Also ask your provider about evening primrose oil as D-Day gets closer. Finally, if you hear the words "sunny side up", "posterior positioning", or "star -gazer" - MILES CIRCUIT. Posterior babies are notorious for tearing. Not a whole ton can be done during crowning, but there are signs before hand and a chance to turn baby.
FWIW with DD1 I had a 1st degree tear and 1 stitch, DD2 a 2nd degree tear with 2 stitches and my tear from the first was way more painful.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@foxrosy from what I learned in my child psychology class, I think the bed wetting is related to the issues going on at school rather than your pregnancy. I'm so sorry your little man is going through this. Teachers should be doing a lot more to help him.
@peachesnbean Thank you for the advice! I'll ask about the primrose oil!
Re: Weekly Randoms (10/10)
And totally agree about being able to move around. My doctor and nurses last time so heavily encouraged moving around. I think it helps a lot too unless you are unable to. I literally stood the whole time I was laboring until about 30 minutes before I started pushing.
That is not what I'm hoping for (I'm hoping to go med-free), but she was extremely happy with her labor and delivery experience, and his size was no problem whatsoever.
I think it's important to remember that everyone's story is different.
Mom keeps telling me that all the fears we have about birthing will go away because by the time we get close to the due date you just want they baby out of you.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
We're going to a birthing center with a midwife practice but if something happens and I need to go to the hospital I want to be able to move freely (no IVs, no fetal heart monitor), I don't want to be cut and I only want a c-section if my or the baby's life is at risk. A baby is the goal!
Edit: fun fact about DDs birth. I don't remember doing this at all, but apparently my IV was bothering me because at some point, I ripped that sucker out on my own. I went med free, and I wasn't yelling and screaming or any of that nonsence, but my husband and the nurses ended up telling me that I ripped my IV out and took a swing at my own vagina lol.
Now my main concern, if I continue to measure large, is that all of those options will be taken away from me. There are lots of numbers showing that the medical provider's perception that a baby is large is much more correlated to interventions than the baby's actual size at birth. I'm prepared to advocate for myself, but it's so hard to know where the line is between advocating for myself and trusting the advice of my medical providers.
Are you having another ultrasound later in pregnancy to confirm size? I'm not this time and I didn't last time so I had no idea what I was dealing with. Although when I met the doctor delivering my baby she took one look at my belly and said "that is not a 6 or 7 lb baby that's for sure".
@Xstatic3333 I've read that too. Unfortunately. so many drs are terrified of getting sued-- it really colors their care for you. They'd much rather do a c-section and, honestly, I don't blame them.
Let me know if you figure out how to walk that line :-)
I have had two VBACs, both with small babies(5.5lbs, 6.75lbs) and had first degreee tears with both. Very minor stitching. Still better then my recovery with my CS IMO.
Edited ED to finish a paragraph
I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by the big baby comments. Yesterday in prenatal yoga, I walked right in and someone said, "I bet you're due in December too!" Ummmmm, nope! Not even especially close. It's causing me a lot of anxiety. I know it'll be the main topic of conversation at my shower this weekend. I try to just make jokes about it but inside it bugs the heck out of me. I don't know why I'm not like every other FTM who wonders why they aren't showing more. Maybe my super weak abs? LOL.
@Xstatic3333 I know you *could* have a bigger baby, but I'm sorry you get so many people saying that you've got to be harboring a big one. In the HDBD pictures you've posted, I don't personally think you look like your about to be due in december. I got compared the other day to my neighbors granddaughter in law... she's due less than 2 weeks behind me, is a STM and I was told I'm much bigger than her. It didn't really bother me, it is what it is, but we are all different. And BTW my sister was told to expect a 9+ lb baby, based off measurements and her ultrasound, and when she delivered, her baby was only 6lbs 10 oz... I think they amuse themselves by making guesses lol.
I had a dream that I gave in to get the epidural and my husband ran in and yelled "NO we can't afford it!". Hahahaha, I told him about it and he was horrified at his dream self.
I think you will find people who hated and loved med-free and you will find people who hated and loved epidurals or other meds.
I don't know what I will do this time. I will wait and see what I feel like at the time. When I was med-free I hadn't made a plan and I didnt do anything to deal with the pain. It was my first birth and I had no idea what to expect. Now that I know what's coming I am very open to pain relief if I decide I want it. I know I can do it, I know the pain is for a reason and all that, I just might decide I don't want to feel all the pain.
He recently transitioned to a preschool in Sept and has not been enjoying it. I am in the process of moving him to a different preschool because the teachers haven't been the greatest with communication and I no longer feel it's a space that welcomes my questions or concerns. A main concern is a boy who I have witnessed hit multiple children, and for about two weeks now he and my son have gotten into some sort of physical altercation daily. Mind you, the staff never told me this, my son does. I asked the teacher what was happening with this situation and she did acknowledge it was happening but blamed both kids. The only intervention is to remind them to keep hands and feet to themselves, but nothing to prevent it. This worries me as I do not want him to go to school and fight on a daily basis. And this kid punches him in the eyes and face. I don't blame the other kid. I hear he comes from a troubled home and has some emotional issues. I just want the staff to support him as well as ensure the safety of the other students, especially my son who is getting into it daily with him. Now my son says his teachers are mean and hit him, which I don't believe necessarily, but I wonder why he is suddenly saying these things.
He also has had a mild stuttering problem since age 2.5 and is starting speech therapy twice a month. Last night his stutter was so bad, it broke my heart.
I don't know if this new peeing on himself is due to stuff going on at school or maybe the pregnancy? I'm keeping him home today to take him to the doctor to rule out infection or any physical problems and then taking him to an indoor playground for some one on one time.
Im so worried about my boy feeling afraid or sad about something and not being able to express it to me.
Just needed to vent.
ETA: just realized I posted this in the wrong Randoms thread.
For a regular hospital birth that was never planned at a birthing center- it depends on the doc, but most you can convince or ask for intermittent monitoring (or wireless with the screen shut off, the nurses can see at their station but you can't) and no IV. The IV is less negotiable if abx are needed for group B strep.
FWIW with DD1 I had a 1st degree tear and 1 stitch, DD2 a 2nd degree tear with 2 stitches and my tear from the first was way more painful.
@peachesnbean Thank you for the advice! I'll ask about the primrose oil!