Weekly Randoms (10/17)

fourPsinapod · October 2016

Whatcha got for this week?

grapeskittles4lyfe · October 2016

Good morning! Need to go on a business trip on Friday (5+ hrs by train away) and really really don't want to. Pre kids I would have jumped at the chance and booked myself a hotel for an overnight stay, but now I am going to be sitting in a train all day for 3hrs worth of meetings just so DD can see me when she wakes up Saturday morning.

poofwok · October 2016

Over in this household, our morning started with DS telling me "whooooaaa mommy, you bigggggg" it's like it just hit him that I'm sporting a big belly now, lol.

My husband left for work, laughing.

LivingLaVidaGinger · October 2016

DH and I tossed around the idea of buying a modular house. We went and looked at them and fell in love. The sales guy said modular "houses" don't depreciate but the mobile homes like single and double wides do so if we bought an actual house we wouldn't have that problem. I feel like we need to do some more research in that area because we're new to it. Anyone have any experience with this? I like the idea of having a brand new house without the brand new house price tag.

birdiejo · October 2016

@LivingLaVidaGinger How much are you saving? Do you have to buy the land separately? How did you look at them? Did you go to the factory where they are made or do they have models somewhere?

For our next house we're looking into all sorts of ideas but it's just daydreaming until we actually move somewhere new.

WinchesterGirl · October 2016

DH felt a teeny, tiny kick finally last night!

His eyes got really big, and he said, "Was that... him?"

I think he was expecting it to feel stronger, but he was glad to finally get a thump from the little guy!

LivingLaVidaGinger · October 2016

@homemake we have some money saved (I say that lightly lol) but certainly not 20% yet. We went to an actual lot where they have the models then you order the one you want and customize it to your liking. Then they'll build it in the factory and take it to your lot. We're not in a rush to buy, we're comfortable where we are. I absolutely love our location. But I'd like to know whether or not that'd be a crappy option before we made any permanent decisions.

jlellis603 · October 2016

@LivingLaVidaGinger. We are also looking at a "pre-fab/new construction" type of house. Before BFP we even tossed around a tiny house idea. But that went out the window. I have done a little research on them and went to a few businesses. It is important to check the zoning codes for where you want to put the house. Also, keep in mind the extra "outside" work that would need to be done that may not be included like a septic system and a well. There are may also be special loans that you would need to get if you opted for a "new construction" home, but not always. I know when we looked at a few companies, they actually were the "middle man" and you could loan right from there because they worked with the banks.

Let me know what else you find out! Our lease is up at the end of May and we are seriously considering one of these options too!

cruffino · October 2016

is it maternity leave yet? i have almost zero interest in work these days even though i love my job. i'm just glad i get the option to work from home regularly because the last thing i want to do is go into the office.

DH and i are going away next weekend, not too far, Richmond, VA. i'm looking forward to time away. i'm used to traveling alot, at least once a month between work travel and personal travel and that's the main thing i miss being pregnant. i've been staying home alot more and being honest, i'm totally bored with it.

and in fun news...this weekend i went to a reading by David Sedaris. he was signing books and i got a chance to chat with him. he suggested 2 baby names: scarsdale and huckleberry. neither one is my style but i appreciate his input...i love him!

cruffino · October 2016

@LivingLaVidaGinger
i don't know much about modular houses except the ones i've seen are amazing! good luck with it. i would love to to design my own modular home. that would be so cool.

varimama · October 2016

@LivingLaVidaGinger if the house we're under contract for falls through end of this month DH and I are considering going the modular house route. His parents just did this for their house last year and they love it. It is a really nice house. I'm not sure of all of their details financially since it's obviously none of our business but from talking to them about it and from what research DH and I have done is it's not like buying a house where $XXX is the cost. The house cost $XXX to build, $YYY for delivery, and $ZZZ for actually being put together, trim on inside, appliances, hook up to water and heat, etc... Plus land is typically a separate charge. From what they told us people who were unhappy with their modular homes it was because they didn't spend the extra money to get the inside finished off to look nice.

BlondePeanut · October 2016

I have a funny......totally put together the crib in the living room, was so happy.....then realized it wouldn't be able to turn enough in the hallway to roll into the nursery.....whoops. So I am now a pro at putting the crib together lol.....had to take half of it off, push it through, then put it back together inside the nursery. DH was out with his Dad that whole day and I wanted to just do it myself even though he said he would do it....I'm pretty handy and semi impatient these days when I want something done....guess I had a bit of pregnancy brain lmao

leprechaunlady · October 2016

cruffino said:

is it maternity leave yet?

This x100! The countdown is on! 10 weeks until a year off!

I am aware that its not going to be easy but im really not enjoying work right now mostly cause my boss is a dick, so its more just looking forward to not coming into a toxic environment than actual not working.

cruffino · October 2016

@Janefelicity
i've got 15 weeks until maternity leave and it feels like an eternity! luckily its not strenuous and i have a good boss. i'm sorry yours sucks. a bad workplace is such a stress.

BumpasaurusRex · October 2016

I was MIA all weekend due to having 3 birthday parties and then catching up on housework.

Gonna have to catch up a bit around here.

Starfish113 · October 2016

Someone in my homeroom spilled an entire bottle of water and just left it there on the floor. Welp, I just walked over there and slipped and fell SO HARD on the floor. I luckily landed on my hands and knees but my knees are killing me now. I also feel crampy but I probably tensed up so much for the fall. At least I can feel baby kicking, but yikes.

birdiejo · October 2016

Ouch! @Starfish113 hope you're okay and that your knees feel better!

peachesnbean · October 2016

Janefelicity said:

cruffino said:

is it maternity leave yet?

This x100! The countdown is on! 10 weeks until a year off!

I am aware that its not going to be easy but im really not enjoying work right now mostly cause my boss is a dick, so its more just looking forward to not coming into a toxic environment than actual not working.

Dudes. I am so excited for mat. leave. I am taking 12 weeks and last night as I was sitting on the couch watching tv I was mapping out the room for how to stay in it as much as I could LOL.I also get a pre-mat leave vacation. My uni gives us the week between Christmas and New Year's off as holiday time. I am REALLY looking forward to that.

poetryandoceans · October 2016

@Starfish113 Oh man, my homeroom and I would be having such a serious conversation if that were me. I hope you feel better soon :S

Starfish113 · October 2016

poetryandoceans said:

@Starfish113 Oh man, my homeroom and I would be having such a serious conversation if that were me. I hope you feel better soon :S

Oh yeah. Tomorrow they will definitely be spoken to!! I mean, seriously, how could you just leave a spill like that?!?!

Gretchypoo · October 2016

@Starfish113 oh no! I'm glad you're okay. Glad they are getting a talk tomorrow-- that is really dangerous!

Mamallamallama · October 2016

@LivingLaVidaGinger My MIL and my FIL had modular homes. It really depends on the owner and how you upkeep. My FIL's home is beautiful and you would never know it is a modular home, my MIL on the other hand let her house go to shit and the floor starting collapsing. They sold the home in a short sale but the new buyers are repairing the issues, so it is worth repairing a tearing down- which I think says a lot about if the value is worth it.

In other random news, my 18 month old DD decided she will no longer sleep through the night. It's becoming a clockwork wake up. Every night between 1:45 and 2:00. If I am lucky it is a quick rock back to sleep but last night was not so lucky, it was a 2 hour wake up. She is worse now than she was at 3 months old. Any suggestions on how I can make her put herself back to sleep?

NiceyMeany · October 2016

I'm looking forward to leave, too, but it feels so far away. If all goes according to plan, I'll work right up until the weekend before my due date. February 17 would be my last day of work. That sounds SO FAR AWAY. I really have no interest in doing my job. I also fiiiiiinally got in touch with our FMLA admin, and she told me two great things: 1. my FMLA leave doesn't include spring break, so I'll actually get 13 weeks off! And, even more intriguingly, 2. I can actually get a total of 6 months unpaid leave if I want. I'm scheduled to go back to work on May 23rd, but I could technically have though October 2017 off if I wanted. That's one I'll really have to mull over, because I'm not sure we could actually afford it. But it's incredibly tempting to at least take off through the rest of the school year.

On in another note, @cruffino I live in RVA, so holler if you're looking for recommendations of what to do while you're here!

musicinmysoul17 · October 2016

I'm definitely looking forward to mat leave!! Although, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "I'm going to have so much clean up work from my fill in when I get back". So I'm already dreading going back to work. Maybe it's just that I'm tired and it's Monday and I was off all last week. I like my job but I really just want to be at home, organizing everything and setting up the nursery.

foxrosy · October 2016

@Starfish113 I hope your knees feel better soon! So glad the fall wasn't worse.

WinchesterGirl · October 2016

@Starfish113 Ouch!! How old are these students of yours?

You ladies are making me think about all my maternity leave questions... for instance, if I'm not planning to come back, I'm not even sure when/how to address that. I want to work and have insurance up to as close to my due date as possible (and STD eligibility), but right now everyone is just assuming I'm coming back. No one has asked.

I want to give them ample time for me to train someone before I leave, but I also need to keep my insurance and STD, so I can't actually quit - I will be taking leave and then giving notice sometime during leave, I guess?

Anyone have tips on how best to broach this conversation?

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

Hmmmm, I know it's tough @WinchesterGirl, especially with insurance considerations, but I would encourage you to be honest with them that you are not coming back. I know your job hasn't been very good to you, but it just seems like the right thing to do. I do think it is fine to wait until much later in pregnancy though. I'm not sure how STD works in FL, but I believe in RI if you've put in the time to use it you're still eligible for that benefit. For insurance, leaving your current employment should count as a "qualifying event" for you to join your H's or buy a separate policy.

cruffino · October 2016

@NiceyMeany
thanks for the offer! we're driving down on friday evening and will be there all day saturday and about a half day sunday. we are thinking of visiting the art museum and the science museum. and i got tickets for a "canal cruise". on saturday night we are going to see the Mavericks at the National. I made brunch reservations at Tarrant's for sunday morning.

i'd love to hear your take on these ideas and any other suggestions you have!

WinchesterGirl · October 2016

@Xstatic3333 I definitely plan to tell them, and train my co-worker to take over duties.... I just really am not sure when the timing is best. I'm already training new people in anticipation of my leave.

I may have to do more research on the STD/insurance, because I have already done the pre-pay and all of that through my company's plan. So I do not want to screw myself either, and have them terminate me right before delivery.

I'm hoping that once I explain the situation they will be willing to let me officially give notice while on leave, so that it's not an issue and I can use my benefits through delivery. They are really not going to be happy that I'm leaving, and the whole thing just makes me nervous.

Xstatic3333 · October 2016

Gotcha, @WinchesterGirl! That sounds like a very fair way to handle things. Even though they won't want you to leave, I'm sure they'd prefer that you help train your replacement and all of that. I believe there should be laws in place to protect them from just terminating you before your delivery, but it is a tough situation. You're wise to do your research to make sure you get the benefits that you're entitled to. Hopefully they'll take it well. Maybe they won't be quite as surprised as you're expecting. My boss was actually surprised when I told her that I didn't want to leave or reduce my hours!

madamerwin · October 2016

+1 to looking forward to maternity leave! I spoke to our department head a few weeks ago, and in addition to 12 weeks off guaranteed through FMLA, Oregon also has OFLA which allows for time off as well - it doesn't run simultaneously, so I could potentially take 24 weeks off. My plan is to take 16-18 weeks (mostly unpaid, but we will make it work).

On a side note, my job sucks, and my salary really isn't enough to justify going back to work once the baby comes. I would be spending about 3/4 of my salary on a decent daycare. I don't feel good about working all day (at a job I don't love) just to pay someone else to watch my kid. So, we are kicking around the idea of me staying home and getting a p/t or work from home type job. If I can make at least 25% of what I make now, and we don't have to pay for childcare, we will come out even anyway.

BUT - I applied for another job at my employer's parent company last month, and after a phone interview and a video conference interview, I am one of two final candidates. They are flying me out to the corporate offices next week to meet the rest of the team (the team is scattered throughout the country). The formal interviewing has been done, so I think this is more of an opportunity to see how personalities work together. If I get this job, it would be a significant salary increase - and I really think I will enjoy it more than my current job - so I would definitely go back after mat leave. But I am not looking forward to flying halfway across the country next week for a one-night trip...

leslie1331 · October 2016

@WinchesterGirl I am in the same boat as you are. My H is part of a family business, but also travels Monday-Thursday, so it makes working full time pretty hard. I would basically be a single, working mom 4 days a week. I work at a large bank and my group has about 20 people in it, but we all do the same thing. So the training part isn't a big deal, they would just divide the work up until they replaced me. BUT, I still feel like a jack pretending I am coming back when I am not. I really want to let them know and have my last day be the week before I deliver, but we need to check out H's healthcare and all of that. (I have UnitedHealthcare and a super low deductible and out of pocket maximum, he has a small business insurance, so I am assuming higher on both.) I figured WORSE case, I would say I am doing 12 weeks and tell them like 4 weeks into it I wasn't coming back. That way they can replace me and still weren't expecting me back for another 8 weeks, so it wouldn't be royally screwing them over. But, I still really don't want to even do that.

NiceyMeany · October 2016

@cruffino sounds like an awesome weekend! I might skip the science museum unless you're bringing kids with you. It's ok, but not great. The Valentine or the Poe museum are better. Definitely allow plenty of time for the VMFA. It's excellent. If the weather is nice, you could visit Hollywood Cemetery, which is massive and gorgeous. I've never done a canal cruise, but it sounds fun! I think they're kind of "spooky"-themed right now. Which could be cute. The canal is much less impressive than the river, though, so make sure you get a good glimpse of the "real" water. Best place to do that on a nice day is by walking the Pipeline Trail. Pants, good shoes, and solid balance are a must for that trek. There are also good views of the river from the cemetery.

Tarrant's is an institution, but the brunch is meh and expensive for me. I prefer Perly's, which is on Grace and 1st. Tons of good brunch places in other neighborhoods, too. You can't swing a cat without hitting a good brunch place. Other dining in the downtown area is all great - Rappahannock, Pasture, Maple & Pine, Max's, and Wong Gonzalez are standouts. Pop's Market is a great spot for a breakfast sandwich (they're closed Sunday). If you want to get out of downtown, I recommend Secco (in the Fan), Stella's (in the near west end), and The Roosevelt or Dutch & Co. (both in Church Hill). For more casual dining, Union Market or Proper Pie (Church Hill), Joe's Inn (the Fan), and the Continental (Westhampton) won't lead you astray.

If you have tickets for your concert, don't bother getting there early unless you want to sit down in the balcony. Even then, people often stay downstairs depending on the crowd (I've noticed younger crowds hang out downstairs, while older crowds go sit upstairs).

Let me know if you need any more info! I love this city and never run out of recommendations.

MoonOverGoldsboro · October 2016

@madamerwin Sending happy thoughts for your interview/meet-and-greet next week! It sounds like a great opportunity. Hope travel goes smoothly, too!

leprechaunlady · October 2016

peachesnbean said: I also get a pre-mat leave vacation. My uni gives us the week between Christmas and New Year's off as holiday time.

With the Christmas holidays & annual leave i finish work dec 23 but my mat leave doesnt actually start until jan 9 (im due 29 jan).

leprechaunlady · October 2016

@Starfish113 make sure you take it easy after the fall! It couldve been a lot worse! Feel better soon.

Starfish113 · October 2016

Thanks everyone

I am extending my maternity leave under the Child Care Act. So, I will take the 12 weeks given to me by FMLA, but then I also had to write a letter to my Superintendent requesting the rest of the year off. As a teacher, it's just not worth it for me to come back for about a month and find childcare for that time only to go on summer break right after.

WinchesterGirl · October 2016

@leslie1331 Yeah, it is hard. I am for sure telling them before my leave. I am not going to lie, but I'm also not going to quit days before my due date. I'm hoping they'll work with me since I'm working with them!

Sadly, I am one of the only people on our team with extensive knowledge of our biggest product. I'm training someone now, but it is a huge learning curve and even by the time I leave she will not be up to my current level of knowledge. There is really nothing I can do but keep on training, though.

If they would consider me working part time remotely, I would stay on a few months after my leave to help transition the rest of the way, but the current management is really inflexible. I am not going to suggest that, and I would be completely shocked if they come up with it.

madamerwin · October 2016

@leslie1331 One thing to keep in mind if you are considering quitting while you are on maternity leave: If you get short-term disability through your work for pregnancy (I get 6 weeks), and if the company continues to pay their share of your health insurance premiums while you're on leave (large companies do), they can potentially come after you to recoup those costs if you do not come back - especially the insurance premiums, which are not cheap.

If I do not get this new job I am in the running for and we decide it makes more sense for me to stay home, I will still return to my job after maternity leave - I will just be giving my 2 week notice shortly after I return. Most companies have some sort of policy regarding how long you have to work after leave without having to repay benefits; for some companies, it's one day, for others it's one month. Definitely something to consider before quitting while on leave!

Mamallamallama · October 2016

I put my 2 weeks in while on leave. There was a small issue when they said my short term disability overpaid me. They didn't overpay in the end, so I walked away getting paid for the 8 weeks that I was supposed to get paid. I never did any research to see if there would be any negative repercussions, so I am happy there weren't any. Giving them the 2 weeks also kept me on good terms with the company, so if I ever choose to go back I will be at the top of the hiring list.

madamerwin · October 2016

Mamallamallama said:

I put my 2 weeks in while on leave. There was a small issue when they said my short term disability overpaid me. They didn't overpay in the end, so I walked away getting paid for the 8 weeks that I was supposed to get paid. I never did any research to see if there would be any negative repercussions, so I am happy there weren't any. Giving them the 2 weeks also kept me on good terms with the company, so if I ever choose to go back I will be at the top of the hiring list.

That's awesome they didn't give you a hard time! From what I have read, companies can go after you for insurance premiums, but they don't have to. It probably depends on the company. I don't know whether mine would, but I don't really want to find out. As for short-term disability, I think it depends on whether the company pays for it in full, or if you, as an employee, pay into it with a payroll deduction. If it's the latter, I don't think they can actually come after you to recoup it, since you paid for it, but if the company pays it in full (mine does), then they can try to get the money back from you.

I still don't know exactly what I will do; I have a really awesome department head, so if she knew I would be miserable coming back after leave, she would probably work with me.

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