Baby Shower Question

SKZW · October 2016

In a recent post on people knowing the baby's sex, @kat81 mentioned: "When you have a shower (i.e. it's your first baby), it's even better to be team green because people are forced into getting actual practical stuff off your list, or books, as opposed to clothes...."
And the first part of that got me thinking...
What's your take on baby showers for babies who aren't your first baby? When I was pregnant with my first, 3 years ago, it was a super extra-special time in our lives because it was the first grandchild on 2 out of 3 of our sides of the family. It was even the first great-grandchild for a lucky Grammy! We were blessed and lucky to have a lot of family at the time to share in our joy and want to visit with us when we were pretty far along and celebrate the upcoming birth. My sister/soon-to-be auntie delighted in throwing the shower in our honor. (P.S. It wasn't some gift-grab either, although gifts were showered on us.) So, now, with a second on the way (fingers crossed), I've been reading some baby shower chatter and there's diverse opinions on even whether to have a shower? I guess some people assume you have everything you need and don't want to feel obligated to buy you anything? Is that the prevailing wisdom nowadays? I come at it from the standpoint of "shower you with love and celebrate a new life" and don't think it's out of the ordinary to have a shower for a 2nd/3rd child. (As soon as we tell people, I'm positive said auntie will be all over the party planning again!) But is your take on it different? Are baby showers really only for the first child? I'd love to hear what you think! Thanks everyone!

SKZW · October 2016

P.S. I also realize a lot of us are still first-trimester-ing and this is waaay too soon to be considering such topics... but... that's where my brain went!

mcvgal · October 2016

DS1 was born at 30 weeks. Unbeknownst to me, my family had planned a baby shower for 33 weeks. They asked if I still would attend but I declined because I did not want to spend time away from my don in the NICU. When I was expecting DS2, they hinted at a shower. I am very against showers after the first child and I politely told them so. They still planned a surprise shower and I was super embarrassed when I showed up. I honestly thought about turning around and heading home.

however, I stayed because I didn't want to be rude. It was nice and of course I was very thankful. My sisters said they wanted to do it since they didn't get to throw one a few years before. Of course I cried remembering our time in the NICU.

I've totally rambled now, but I guess in the end it's more rude to turn a gift away, if someone wants to give you a shower. I still would not expect one or plan for one after the first child.

Jellybeanqueen13 · October 2016

I don't have a problem with second or third time moms being thrown a shower, if someone offers to host one. If they host it themselves, I think that is in poor taste (I've personally known multiple people to do this.

).

I love the idea of celebrating all babies! That said, if someone is opposed, it's as simple as not attending.

Jkp7749 · October 2016

I'm not sure how I feel about it either and wonder what y'all wou think of this situation: I just had a DD 15 months ago and was thrown a shower. We're pregnant with twins now though and instantly a really close friend mentioned a shower. I didnt know what to say but think all babies should be celebrated, but certainly don't want to come across as greedy since we just had DD.

sarah0985 · October 2016

I generally don't believe in baby showers for after the first except in more unique circumstances. (I.e. A surprise 10 years after you thought you were done. Twins or higher order multiples where more help could be needed) But that's my opinion for throwing one. I'll still attend if I'm close with you but I won't throw you one. Especially if I've already thrown them one. When my best friend had her first, I threw her shower. For her second, It didn't even occur to me to throw another but her other friend did so of course I attended and gave her a gift. But chances are if I feel close enough to attend the baby shower I'd get them a gift regardless of whether they had a shower or not.

Eta. @jellybeanqueen13 I generally side eye self-thrown baby showers as well. I think it's tacky.

hp_momma · October 2016

I'm not a fan of showers for every baby, part of me feels like it's a "gift grab" especially if it's the same gender the second time around, but thats my personal opinion.
I had a large baby shower for DD1. For DD2, I declined a shower because I had everything plus all then girl clothes too. For this baby, if it's another girl I definitely won't be having a shower. If it's a boy I know my mom has mentioned having a small shower so people can gift "boy items". We will see, I'm not crazy about the idea.

WombThereItIs · October 2016

You can "celebrate" baby without another baby shower. I don't care for subsequent showers unless there are special circumstances. Having a second baby of the opposite sex doesn't count

SKZW · October 2016

Jkp7749 said:

I'm not sure how I feel about it either and wonder what y'all wou think of this situation: I just had a DD 15 months ago and was thrown a shower. We're pregnant with twins now though and instantly a really close friend mentioned a shower. I didnt know what to say but think all babies should be celebrated, but certainly don't want to come across as greedy since we just had DD.

From your friend's perspective, it's probably a "wow, twins, they could use more help/supplies/stuff!" and I don't think it comes across as greedy at all. In fact, a 15-month-old is just barely grown out of all the tiny clothes and it's not like you have 5 years of stockpiled hand-me-downs to use. For you, I'd say the opposite is true: you just very recently had a LO, so it's even more reason to have a shower: for celebration first and foremost!

pshaortao · October 2016

I too side eyes those that throw their own showers when they had a first recently. It just look greedy.

I would however be more understanding of a "baby sprinkle" for an opposite sex, or to just at least celebrate the upcoming birth and if anybody wanted to bring gifts, it would have to be just diapers and basics that the mama will need anyways (toiletries etc). It seems like a much more casual/low key version for anybody that wants to throw a shower for someone expecting #2+.

luckywife10 · October 2016

Since we're on the topic of baby showers, what are people's opinions of joint baby showers? For example if 2 sisters or cousins or friends are pregnant at the same time and someone suggests a joint baby shower. This is way too early to think about, but a relative of mine is a few weeks more pregnant than I am and I have a feeling someone will suggest a joint baby shower for us since it's a first baby for both of us. I am going to politely decline the offer if it arises because I do not get along with said realtive. Anyone have experience with joint baby showers that did or did not go well?

kat81 · October 2016

As far as I see, the general prevailing wisdom is no shower for kids after #1. But personally I think there are a few exceptions that make it reasonable IMO:
1) you are expecting twins -- you really do need a second set of everything
2) you are expecting soon after the first -- this is kind of like twins and you definitely need more stuff, like a second crib, high chair, etc, but I do think this one starts to look a little gift-grabby if not done well or as more of a "sprinkle."
3) you are expecting after a big age gap and this is a surprise. You've already given away your stuff. Perhaps some of the people you gave away to can be the ones to donate back to you and you don't need a shower, though, just people helping out and chipping in.
4) You have moved and/or switched jobs, and your new local friends/co-workers want to celebrate in some way as they never got a chance to celebrate for your first. If it's constrained mostly to this subset of a social group (i.e. not your family coming in with gifts) and it's more of a celebration with a group gift card / group gift or a cake but no true gifts, this is cool and not gift-grabby.

Personally I don't think "the first was a girl and this one's a boy" is an excuse for a full out shower for #2. I think it's on you to try to get neutral equipment (e.g. not a pink stroller / car seat) the first time around if you were planning on having more than one child. Yes, there is the issue of clothing, but people will probably give you gifts of clothing sporadically even without an official shower, and lots of clothes can be reused across babies for a while, even girl-to-boy.

Kipperoo · October 2016

I just personally really dislike showers, so I will be very opposed to a shower for this baby. I've always been a little weird about showers of all kinds because I feel like it's your life choice, you should be able to buy the items necessary to support it (I know that I am in the minority here--I still attend other showers with a smile on my face and a gift in my hand, I just don't like them). I think part of it is that many, many of my friends are mid-30s and single with no kids and it just seems unfair that they are constantly subjected to a string of gift giving events. If my family lived closer, I would potentially do a "lets celebrate the pregnancy" BBQ because I do love throwing parties for people, but I would be very clear that no one should bring gifts.

I did have a shower for my first, but it was only because my mother would have been totally heartbroken if I didn't, so I sucked it up. :-)

jdebaie · October 2016

I hosted a "sprinkle" for my good friend's second baby. It was very small, at my house, and friends only (versus inviting family). It was fun because she was having a girl and already had a son, so we got to get her some girly stuff.

I don't have a problem with a second shower at all if someone else is throwing it. My parents and sister really went all out for my first shower and I would ever expect anything close to that again (which is completely fine) but it would be nice to celebrate the new baby with a few close family and friends.

CarmCeG · October 2016

Honestly, I've heard people complain about people who throw their own baby showers or have a baby shower every time they have a child. I can see why it would bother some people, but hey to each their own.

Personally, I think its nice to celebrate a new baby, and I know some people call this a sprinkle, not a baby shower. The first time around you need more stuff since you have almost nothing. Sprinkles are on a smaller scale while still celebrating new baby and mommy.

Family and friends are already planning things around me, seeing as I'm a first time mom.

Laurieday10 · October 2016

I always thought showers were only for first babies, but when I was pregnant with my second, a friend threw me a "sprinkle". I didn't really need it because we had most things left over from DD1, but I felt it would be rude to decline. Because DD2 was born early, we ended up having a "Sip & See" a few months after she was born. It was more like an informal get-together where we socialized and everyone got to see and hold the baby. I opened presents at the end, but that wasn't the focus of the party. It was a good way to celebrate the baby and have the party be about her instead of the gifts. Having said that, this time around we could use gifts because DD2 is still using a lot of the baby items we had left over and if it's a boy we will need a lot of clothes (despite what we originally intended, most of our babies' clothes were not gender-neutral).

Laurieday10 · October 2016

@luckywife10, I think a joint baby shower is weird for the first baby. You should each get your own celebration. If it were the second or third, that may be different, or if you and your relative were really close.

RainyDays86 · October 2016

I have no expectation that anyone will (or should) throw me a shower for this baby. We have everything saved from DS and frankly, even if we didn't that's our problem. This might be UO but I don't think anyone should expect to be given stuff for their baby, ever, under any circumstances. If you're making the choice to have a kid, you should be able to budget to buy a crib, clothes, etc. However, that doesn't mean I am completely opposed to showers in general. I just view them as an opportunity to celebrate mom and baby. My sister threw a baby shower for DS which was great and yes, there were gifts but I had no expectations that anyone would get me anything or that they should. With this baby, if someone offers a shower I'll decline but if they really insist I won't fight it. But I don't think it's ok to expect that someone will throw you a shower or buy you all the things you need for your baby.

Abby7 · October 2016

kat81 said:

As far as I see, the general prevailing wisdom is no shower for kids after #1. But personally I think there are a few exceptions that make it reasonable IMO:
1) you are expecting twins -- you really do need a second set of everything
2) you are expecting soon after the first -- this is kind of like twins and you definitely need more stuff, like a second crib, high chair, etc, but I do think this one starts to look a little gift-grabby if not done well or as more of a "sprinkle."
3) you are expecting after a big age gap and this is a surprise. You've already given away your stuff. Perhaps some of the people you gave away to can be the ones to donate back to you and you don't need a shower, though, just people helping out and chipping in.
4) You have moved and/or switched jobs, and your new local friends/co-workers want to celebrate in some way as they never got a chance to celebrate for your first. If it's constrained mostly to this subset of a social group (i.e. not your family coming in with gifts) and it's more of a celebration with a group gift card / group gift or a cake but no true gifts, this is cool and not gift-grabby.

Personally I don't think "the first was a girl and this one's a boy" is an excuse for a full out shower for #2. I think it's on you to try to get neutral equipment (e.g. not a pink stroller / car seat) the first time around if you were planning on having more than one child. Yes, there is the issue of clothing, but people will probably give you gifts of clothing sporadically even without an official shower, and lots of clothes can be reused across babies for a while, even girl-to-boy.

This is me. I gave away all my stuff in disgust and sadness when DD was about 3.5, but it was to a crisis pregnancy center, not friends. We had been not-preventing the entire time since she'd been born and nothing had happened, plus we were moving cross country. Now I have a surprise BFP, DD will be 5 when the baby is born, and I have nothing.

megchelle · October 2016

My mom and sister hosted a sprinkle for my 2nd baby but I didn't expect one. My mom believes in celebrating every baby and I agree. It was fun! All my friends and family were supportive of it as well. I wouldn't side eye a sprinkle or small shower for more than one baby if it was hosted by family or a friend.

Louise_Belcher · October 2016

Agreed with @kat81 Twins or a massive age gap are the two that seem fair. A little sprinkle seems okay as well. I am also not against a diaper bbq party for a second or third. Every kid needs diapers and most people love bbq and beer. As others have said people will still totally get you clothes and gifts even if there is not another shower. I was fortunate to have a massive shower for my 1st and my husband was thrown a huge diaper party. I cannot imagine there will be anything this go around and I do not want it or need it.

kat81 · October 2016

Kipperoo said:

I just personally really dislike showers, so I will be very opposed to a shower for this baby. I've always been a little weird about showers of all kinds because I feel like it's your life choice, you should be able to buy the items necessary to support it (I know that I am in the minority here--I still attend other showers with a smile on my face and a gift in my hand, I just don't like them). I think part of it is that many, many of my friends are mid-30s and single with no kids and it just seems unfair that they are constantly subjected to a string of gift giving events. If my family lived closer, I would potentially do a "lets celebrate the pregnancy" BBQ because I do love throwing parties for people, but I would be very clear that no one should bring gifts.

I did have a shower for my first, but it was only because my mother would have been totally heartbroken if I didn't, so I sucked it up. :-)

I always love to celebrate a new baby, but I agree that most showers suck. When our family friend offered to throw us a shower, we were thankful that she wanted to do it "our way" (with a bit of "her way" added.) The "her way" component was that it was on the more formal/fancy side, with catered appetizer/finger food served. This fits us as well, though something very casual would have, too. It was basically a cocktail party. But a couple of our friends felt a little uncomfortable because they felt under dressed (it wasn't as formal as a wedding reception, but if you wore jeans you felt weird.)

In terms of our desires, we said it MUST be co-ed in terms of guests of honor and invitees. The all-female baby showers piss me off to no end*, especially when the dad is not invited. What a way to start off the expectations of parenting in that family unit. We also said we didn't really want it to have a focus on presents. As it turned out, during the shower some guests really wanted us to open gifts (including the hostess--who yes, got us a gift even though she threw the shower!) So we announced that we were opening gifts but that no one was required to watch/participate. I liked that compromise because even though we would have preferred to not open the gifts at all (we consider this super boring at others' parties), we wanted to accommodate the people who were into that. People who wanted to continue talking and mingling were welcome to do so; the space was such that it was easy to do. There were also NO shower "games" or anything of the like, something that we were very happy about as well as the hostess. She would have done that if we had wanted to, but she is the type of person to consider games tacky.

FWIW, people gave us positive feedback about the shower...I think a lot of people don't like the typical shower format. They found this one fun and enjoyable.

*By the way I still happily attend these as a guest because I am always super excited to celebrate a new baby. But I could never accept a baby shower thrown on my behalf that my husband and other men were not invited to, unless it was just alumni of my sorority or something.

Kipperoo · October 2016

RainyDays86 , I so 100% agree with you. I totally understand wanting to celebrate your baby, but the expectation of people gifting you all of the items you need for a baby you chose to have is so strange to me. I accept that it's commonly done, a part of our culture, etc...but when I actually stop to think about it, I don't see how it's anyone's duty to furnish my nursery and clothe my child.

MrsOry5 · October 2016

I threw a sprinkle for my sister's third daughter where everyone brought diapers, lotion, shampoo, etc. She loved it and it was low key. It was her rainbow baby, so we had a rainbow theme

vrj0522 · October 2016

I personally think that second showers are okay but only if the baby is of the opposite sex than the first and only if someone else offered to throw it. I don't believe in someone throwing their own shower, even for a first baby, and I definitely don't believe in third showers, exception being a really big age gap between kids, like over 10 years.

emilyalso · October 2016

Echoing what several others have said here... I think a sprinkle or diaper shower is appropriate if someone offers to host it for you. Under 'normal' second baby circumstances, it's just the disposable things that need to be replaced (and people are nutso for baby clothes...you'd probably get some whether you asked or not).

@luckywife10 - My very best friend and I were pregnant at the same time and talked about the idea of a double shower. It was ultimately the physical distance between us that kept us from doing it. Far from feeling like it would make my shower less special, I would have been OVERJOYED to share that time with her. The only 'questionable' thing someone mentioned to me was... what if you invite someone that only knows one of you, will they feel like they have to get a gift for both? I said, surely not! If I were invited to something like that, it would never occur to me to buy a gift for someone I didn't know. If you were worried about that, you might find a cutesy way to clear it up on the invite.

inomniaparatus2 · October 2016

Everyone is different as we have seen from previous comments, I personally don't believe in showers after the first. It was most likely the parents decision to have more and they know how much more they will need to provide. There are certain exceptions, I have a friend who is having twins which was a surprise so she is going to have a sprinkle of just close friends and family. I also have another friend who is having another girl (first one is 4.5) and two weeks before she found out she was having a girl she got rid of most of her stuff because she thought she was having a boy and to me I don't agree with that. For close friends I plan on getting them gifts or gift cards to buy what they want anyways regardless of a shower but I don't think someone should have another shower and expect people to buy them more. Your close friends and family will be happy and will celebrate this life with you and most likely get you something. This is just my opinion, not meant to offend anyone.

Jbananas4 · October 2016

I think it’s really dependent on your circle of friends or family. In my family, it’s actually more common than not to have showers for every child in my family (I’ve attended showers for 4th kids and had/heard no complaints). However, usually only close family and friends are invited after the first and it’s never hosted by the mother-to-be. I should mention, also, that my family is super into getting together. There are a lot of us and if there are no events to celebrate, we’ll sometimes just do giant family dinners to see everyone. I think I’m in the minority, but I’ve never thought of showers as events held in order to get gifts, but as events to celebrate and get together. That said, I would never invite friends or family that might think otherwise or get offended. So I think it’s really read your crowd and do what feels right to you.

@luckywife10 I honestly would never ask a mother-to-be to have a joint shower for their first if I was hosting unless the mothers were the ones suggesting it first. I think it takes away from celebrating each individual baby. Again, though, I’m coming from a family that celebrates everything. To what @emilyalso said about bringing gifts – I actually would feel obligated to bring a gift for the baby I didn’t know. I probably would just get a cute/cheap onesie, but I definitely would feel like it would be weird not to.

Also, I agree with @kat81 in co-ed showers. My husband was excited about our shower and wanted to be there/celebrate the baby too.

ETA I'm sure people disagree with me, but I actually don't like when people put on their invites that they only want diapers or such. I get that it’s done because they’re usually for subsequent kids and they want to say that they don’t really need anything, but I feel like that assumes that people are going to give you something and you’re kind of dictating what it is that they’re allowed to give you. I’d rather just let it be known verbally that I don’t need anything/only need whatever if someone asks.

MollyandD · October 2016

I've attended showers for people for the second and third baby, but it's not something I'd accept for myself. I've attended showers hosted by the parents, but I would NEVER host my own shower. If someone doesn't offer, I won't have one. My view is that showers are to welcome to parents to parenthood and should be hosted by another person.

MollyandD · October 2016

luckywife10 said:

Since we're on the topic of baby showers, what are people's opinions of joint baby showers? For example if 2 sisters or cousins or friends are pregnant at the same time and someone suggests a joint baby shower. This is way too early to think about, but a relative of mine is a few weeks more pregnant than I am and I have a feeling someone will suggest a joint baby shower for us since it's a first baby for both of us. I am going to politely decline the offer if it arises because I do not get along with said realtive. Anyone have experience with joint baby showers that did or did not go well?

I'm not a fan, because as a guest, I'd feel obligated to buy a gift for each mom, even if I only knew one. Then it would be awkward if one mom got more gifts than the other.

MamaMiller · October 2016

I had a large shower for DD#1 and refused a shower 2.5 years later with DD #2. With as much girl crap I have we could realistically have triplets and be okay.

Now if it is a boy, it would be fun to have a sprinkle. It would be the first grandson (4 girls on each side of parents/ inlaws) however I would not suggest.

i agree every baby should be celebrated but a shower should not be the only way to celebrate. DD #2 we did a larger gender reveal and family baby pool to guess when she would come.

Icarriedawatermelon · October 2016

Like previous people stated, I'm not a big fan of showers for any pregnancy beyond the first. I do agree that certain situations, i.e. twins, large age gaps, could warrant a second one.

I just feel at some point people need to buy their own stuff! In my experience, family and friends are going to celebrate your new baby anyway, so do you really need another shower to do so? When my DD was born, we got so many presents from family and friends that it looked like I had another baby shower. I just kept piling everything in our dining room because I didn't have the energy to put everything away, and it seriously looked like I had a second shower. I was completely overwhelmed with how generous people were, considering she was my first and I did have a baby shower for her and everyone had already gotten us a gift.

I was once invited to a "sprinkle" for a friend's second baby. She registered for it and it left a bad taste in my mouth. She registered for things like diapers, diaper rash cream, nipple cream, etc. I'm sorry, but do you really need to ask your family and friends to buy your nipple cream for you?! Buy it yourself!!!

MamaMiller · October 2016

@Icarriedawatermelon this made me laugh- I agree 100%. Don't register for Nipple cream! You do get so much stuff at showers it's overwhelming and the baby won't use some it! Since have my first, I like to give a small gift for baby then a care package for recovery that I give after the shower!

mamatowildones · October 2016

Really depends on the situation. With our first it was such a huge event for the family on both sides. Then we had a second boy and didn't feel it was tasteful. We already had what we needed and it was only a 2.5 year diff. This time though my mom and sis both want to throw us one regardless of sex because it's been 4 years and they want us to get some new things. Hey, if they want to throw us one I am happy to accept! However, there will of course be no registry.

RissaAnnmaria562 · October 2016

In my family and even culture, every baby is celebrated with a shower. Showers aren't about gifts, it's more for the celebration of the mom and dad, and celebrating the upcoming baby. It's always co-ed and the fathers drink together, the children play and the women sit around, eating, and playing games. It wasn't till I joined TB 3 years ago where I learned that most people didn't celebrate each child. I remember being shocked. My mom already plans on throwing me a shower. Depending on the gender, I will either decline or accept but I haven't thought much of it.

ETA: We are able to afford everything thing the baby needs, but per family request we register so they know what we like or what we need. If we end up having a shower, SO and I will likely by the big ticket items(I.e. Crib, strolller, Tula, car seat) we register for small things like clothes, little gadgets, toys, blankets and even though most people don't buy off the registry it's still there just in case.

Jens_Hoes · October 2016

I personally thing second or third showers are not cool. We had three people who had second showers this year, and I just don't like the idea of expecting people to give you another gift (and an invite means they expect you to come and give a gift).
I like the idea of doing a different type of celebration like a gender reveal or something else where the expectation is not to buy a gift. I agree that those closest to you will likely buy you gifts regardless of a shower, so I find it unnecessary. But that's just my two cents.

LeilaD123 · October 2016

I think culture can also have a big part as well. While this is my 2nd and I really don't care to have a shower, I wouldn't decline if someone offered to host. My Mexican side of the family likes to get together for pretty much any reason, and it's pretty much assumed there will be a shower for any baby, whether it's #1 or 3.

In the even that a shower is thrown for me/us, I think that perhaps I won't even register, because I really don't need big/specific items other than a double stroller which we will buy ourselves

blueberry312 · October 2016

My friends have had 4 kiddos at this point. The first was a big, traditional shower at home with games, etc. The most recent (baby #4) was just a fun party at a bowling alley where people happened to bring baby gifts. I like that our friends have continued to have showers/get togethers, but it has gotten less formal each time. Seems like a great way to do it! PS- All of their "showers" have been coed, which made them feel more like a party!

RissaAnnmaria562 · October 2016

LeilaD123 said:

I think culture can also have a big part as well. While this is my 2nd and I really don't care to have a shower, I wouldn't decline if someone offered to host. My Mexican side of the family likes to get together for pretty much any reason, and it's pretty much assumed there will be a shower for any baby, whether it's #1 or 3.

In the even that a shower is thrown for me/us, I think that perhaps I won't even register, because I really don't need big/specific items other than a double stroller which we will buy ourselves

This exactly. The Hispanic side of my family just assumes there will be a shower for each baby. I'm only 10 weeks and there have been multiple people asking my mom if she plans on throwing me a shower and if she knows what I'm having so that they can get a gift. A party is a party lol.

jessbruxanovaa · October 2016

Like most of the PP I don't believe in showers after the first unless someone is really wanting to throw you another one. But in my opinion it shouldn't be anything big and you shouldn't register anywhere. I just had a baby boy 13 months ago. I definetely do not expect any of my friends or family to throw me a shower. I'm not a new mom, and this is definitely not their first, second or even third grandchild. A casual, low key sprinkle sounds more reasonable in my opinion. Or even a small "meet the baby" celebration after LO has arrived.

chickyclg · October 2016

Late to the game but I don't really care about secondary showers. I'm not really sure what all else I need except maybe get some new stuff that I really don't need, I would kind of feel weird having a shower since I don't "need" anything. I wanted a new stroller (I did kind of need a new single stroller) but I went out and bought one. People come out of the woodwork for twin baby showers because people feel that you need so much, definitely not expecting that to happen this time, and besides I have a ton of stuff leftover from the twins. They are B/G so I even have "genderish" stuff for either sex for this baby so for me I think a shower would be a waste of time and money.

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