I think sprinkles or meet the baby parties are great for second + babies. I don't foresee us having a party this time because we moved out of state from family and don't have a large group of friends yet. Otherwise, I'd be open to a coed sprinkle. We had a coed shower the first time around and it was fun!
This will be our second d child and there will be nearly a six year age gap because we struggled getting pregnant but I've kept most of DD's things stored in our basement so I don't need much. If we have a boy, I will need clothes but it's fun picking them out on my own.
DH: 34/Me: 35 Married: Feb 2008 DD: June 2011 TTC# 2: April 2014 BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if you saved nothing from your other child? It's not up to anyone else to buy you what you need.
I never said it was up to anyone else. My point was that my family knows I have nothing saved (after 17 years) and they will want to throw me a shower. They certainly don't have to but I know they will (they have already mentioned it). We will buy whatever we need otherwise.
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if you saved nothing from your other child? It's not up to anyone else to buy you what you need.
Would you say this to someone who was having their first baby shower? It's not up to anyone else to buy anything for a first-time mom either.
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if you saved nothing from your other child? It's not up to anyone else to buy you what you need.
Would you say this to someone who was having their first baby shower? It's not up to anyone else to buy anything for a first-time mom either.
Perhaps it was the phrase "I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower." It seemed a bit entitled.
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if you saved nothing from your other child? It's not up to anyone else to buy you what you need.
Would you say this to someone who was having their first baby shower? It's not up to anyone else to buy anything for a first-time mom either.
Perhaps it was the phrase "I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower." It seemed a bit entitled.
I didn't mean it that way. I meant that I can definitely foresee my family throwing me a baby shower. I can see where the wording is off. I am not entitled, I just know my family will want to throw me a shower as it has been mentioned already.
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if you saved nothing from your other child? It's not up to anyone else to buy you what you need.
Would you say this to someone who was having their first baby shower? It's not up to anyone else to buy anything for a first-time mom either.
Perhaps it was the phrase "I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower." It seemed a bit entitled.
that was the line that seemed entitled to me as well.
Maybe she does feel entitled, but it's also true that most first-time moms probably do too, at least to some degree. I'd say a 16 year age gap is more than fair to feel like a second shower is appropriate.
My daughter is 17..and I am now expecting another..,my boyfriend has 16 and 18 year old girls..... So yes, I fully intend to be thrown a baby shower by my family. Its a big age gap and I, of course, have saved NOTHING. In this circumstance I feel its ok. If my daughter was only a year (or a few) old then I would not want another shower. I wouldn't feel right.
Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if you saved nothing from your other child? It's not up to anyone else to buy you what you need.
Would you say this to someone who was having their first baby shower? It's not up to anyone else to buy anything for a first-time mom either.
If someone said they fully intended their family to throw them a baby shower, yes, I would. Because it came across as entitled and demanding. Now that she has expanded on what she meant, it makes more sense.
Having said that, a shower is a gift in itself and while the purpose is receiving gifts, it shouldn't be viewed as a way to stock up on everything you need. Every parent is responsible for providing all that they need for their child and everything else is just a bonus.
So the "I don't have anything" thing comes off as entitled because it shouldn't matter- you (general you) can easily solve that problem by purchasing the items yourself.
Oh good lord..I didn't mean to start a huge debate. I didn't meant to come off as entitled. I simply meant that I am expecting my family to throw a shower as they have mentioned it, (in their words) seeing as it has been 17 years since my last child and they would like to be able to help me celebrate and prepare for the baby. I am fully capable of buying anything this child needs. I just mentioned that I don't have anything since it has been 17 years and I didn't save anything seeing as I wasn't expecting this large age gap.
Oh good lord..I didn't mean to start a huge debate. I didn't meant to come off as entitled. I simply meant that I am expecting my family to throw a shower as they have mentioned it, (in their words) seeing as it has been 17 years since my last child and they would like to be able to help me celebrate and prepare for the baby. I am fully capable of buying anything this child needs. I just mentioned that I don't have anything since it has been 17 years and I didn't save anything seeing as I wasn't expecting this large age gap.
There's no debate. I was just posing a question based off your post and responding to another poster when she questioned what I wrote.
I agree that close age gaps do not need a second shower, however I know that I always buy stuff for my friends even if they have had more than 1....
At my old work, they would do a diaper shower for anyone having a baby. Everyone on the office brings in a food dish for the day and diapers.... It's a nice way to recognize all couples having babies.. A few of them have really struggled and I think everyone wanted to show how excited they are for them.
@Cubslove12 I love the idea of an at-work diaper party/potluck! What a great way to take the stress away and the "what should I buy" out of the equation, plus it puts all expectant parents on equal footing, in terms of office politics (which all workplaces have). I love that idea.
Maybe she does feel entitled, but it's also true that most first-time moms probably do too, at least to some degree. I'd say a 16 year age gap is more than fair to feel like a second shower is appropriate.
Well, no first time moms should feel entitled either. A baby shower is a gift from someone who is close to you and who cares about you enough to gift it to you. No one should expect people to do this but accept one gracefully if one is offered. A first timer who gets offended because no one is throwing one for her or who decides to throw her own shower simply because, comes across as grabby and entitled. And people rarely will want to see that or be a part of it.
Me: 38 DH: 36 Married 8/27/2011 BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012 BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014 BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017 BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I agree that close age gaps do not need a second shower, however I know that I always buy stuff for my friends even if they have had more than 1....
At my old work, they would do a diaper shower for anyone having a baby. Everyone on the office brings in a food dish for the day and diapers.... It's a nice way to recognize all couples having babies.. A few of them have really struggled and I think everyone wanted to show how excited they are for them.
I love this idea as well. Who doesn't love good food? Who could refuse? My work peeps love a good pot luck. I honestly don't know if they'll host anything for me, not that they should, but because we threw something pretty big for somebody else recently. And we have a few other parties to throw. I wouldn't mind a pizza day
DS1 was born at 30 weeks. Unbeknownst to me, my family had planned a baby shower for 33 weeks. They asked if I still would attend but I declined because I did not want to spend time away from my don in the NICU. When I was expecting DS2, they hinted at a shower. I am very against showers after the first child and I politely told them so. They still planned a surprise shower and I was super embarrassed when I showed up. I honestly thought about turning around and heading home.
however, I stayed because I didn't want to be rude. It was nice and of course I was very thankful. My sisters said they wanted to do it since they didn't get to throw one a few years before. Of course I cried remembering our time in the NICU.
I've totally rambled now, but I guess in the end it's more rude to turn a gift away, if someone wants to give you a shower. I still would not expect one or plan for one after the first child.
A similar thing happened to my sister-- I had planned a shower for her to take place around 32 weeks, little guy made a surprise appearance at 24w! I canceled the shower and had a 'welcome home' party when her son graduated NICU some time later and was medically cleared to be around extended family. I knew a shower-after-birth would make her sad and she wouldn't leave his bedside anyway. I love my lil nephew so much. And my sister doesn't know yet that he's getting a one year younger cousin!
If she has another baby, I'll take your words to heart and ask her honestly if she wants a shower or not. And stick to what she says. Thanks for the perspective.
Re: Baby Shower Question
This will be our second d child and there will be nearly a six year age gap because we struggled getting pregnant but I've kept most of DD's things stored in our basement so I don't need much. If we have a boy, I will need clothes but it's fun picking them out on my own.
DH: 34/Me: 35
Married: Feb 2008
DD: June 2011
TTC# 2: April 2014
BFP!! 8/29/16 --> EDD: 5/11/17....it's a GIRL!!!
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
I didn't mean it that way. I meant that I can definitely foresee my family throwing me a baby shower. I can see where the wording is off. I am not entitled, I just know my family will want to throw me a shower as it has been mentioned already.
that was the line that seemed entitled to me as well.
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Having said that, a shower is a gift in itself and while the purpose is receiving gifts, it shouldn't be viewed as a way to stock up on everything you need. Every parent is responsible for providing all that they need for their child and everything else is just a bonus.
So the "I don't have anything" thing comes off as entitled because it shouldn't matter- you (general you) can easily solve that problem by purchasing the items yourself.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
At my old work, they would do a diaper shower for anyone having a baby. Everyone on the office brings in a food dish for the day and diapers.... It's a nice way to recognize all couples having babies.. A few of them have really struggled and I think everyone wanted to show how excited they are for them.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I love this idea as well. Who doesn't love good food? Who could refuse? My work peeps love a good pot luck. I honestly don't know if they'll host anything for me, not that they should, but because we threw something pretty big for somebody else recently. And we have a few other parties to throw. I wouldn't mind a pizza day
23 y/o;
[05/06/17]
First time mommy
90% of the way there
If she has another baby, I'll take your words to heart and ask her honestly if she wants a shower or not. And stick to what she says. Thanks for the perspective.