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May 2017 Moms
abonnin
member
TW - RANT!!! Not gonna "intro" myself
abonnin
member
So I'm pretty irritated with some of the needy/judgy/cliquey comments on a thread I was just reading, about how someone had the audacity to post a vent when she hadn't even "intro'd" herself. She was accused of being here only to leach support from other giving individuals, while not offering up support to them. There were a few posters who decried that some women come here and post a comment every other month and expect to get sympathy and support from the community when they are only part time posers.
Ahem. First of all, this is a May 2017 birth month group. You ladies have known you were pregnant for about a month (give or take). What's with the bitchiness that you're worried that you're not going to be getting the support you demand later in the pregnancy from this OP?? Someone has to be the first to need support, so instead of keeping score; how about give support if you're able and ask for support if you need it.
Second of all, why the hell do you need me to "intro" myself? Do you want to come by for coffee? Do you want me to babysit your children? Do you suspect I have some strange fetish where I like to pretend I'm pregnant just to talk to strangers about my imaginary symptoms for attention? Guess what? If I were that needy lurker.... I'd be the first to post my imaginary intro!! I'd be all about it. I'd be replying on every thread; living the dream!!
Message boards should not be treated like a replacement for real friends. We are all here, with a common interest, and looking to find some comfort that others are going through the same weird and magical thing as we are. Stop being jerks to each other just because you're anonymous. Call up a real friend and go for a coffee. If you suspect someone here is draining your energy with repeated whiny posts, block them.
Amanda Burns (my REAL name), second time mother of a toddler, pregnant with baby #2, married, Accountant, Ontario Canada, height 5'7, weight (nunya), age 42, favourite food = Indonesian, hair colour = blonde, eye colour = blue, husband's name = John, parents = still married, health conditions = high bp, siblings = 1, real world friends = many, coworkers = 10(ish), greatest fear = my child being sick, childhood dream = to be an environmentalist, favourite past-time = Paint Nites or appetizer parties with real world friends....
Is there anything I missed in case you need to know??
Rant over.
Mama - AKA "Separation Anxiety Counselor, Closet Monster Wrangler, and tired Fetal Incubator"
This discussion has been closed.
Re: TW - RANT!!! Not gonna "intro" myself
And that's all I have to say about this MUD.
Married May 2012
TTC#1 July 2013 - July 2015 (no success)
Again TTC#1: Dec 2015
First RE visit: Feb 2016
BFP: 9/16/16 EDD:5/26/17
Absolutely I know I intro'd.... it was a sarcastic exclamation that it doesn't matter who the hell I am. There's too many decent women out there reading those miserable snide comments and then are afraid to post something.
I'm here sticking up for them...so that the snide commenters just may think twice about reprimanding potential newbies because and old-school mama such as myself might step in and make a fool of them.
As for "TW"... there are probably a few accepted acronyms....but mine was obviously "TRIGGER WARNING". (for the newbies who may not know).
Mama - AKA "Separation Anxiety Counselor, Closet Monster Wrangler, and tired Fetal Incubator"
Exactly the point, Lucky. You're onto me!!
Mama - AKA "Separation Anxiety Counselor, Closet Monster Wrangler, and tired Fetal Incubator"
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
Human sons: 11/2015 & 05/2017
*formerly kayemjay*
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
On the contrary... I think it's going fabulously for me. : ) And how is it not going to end well?? Will I be taken off the Stepford Blogger's Christmas Card Mailing List? Will someone roll their eyes at me again?
OUCH!! OMG I just got EYE-ROLLED again!! Oh Lord...why me, Lord??!?
Mama - AKA "Separation Anxiety Counselor, Closet Monster Wrangler, and tired Fetal Incubator"
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
My rant isn't about making friends on a site. That's all fine and good. My rant is about crazy, butt-hurt desperate, trolls calling out OP's because they haven't introduced themselves, or made a prior post. Make all the friends you want as long as you be nice to the others who prefer not to be your online bestie. It's typical mean-girl behavior.... and I'll always step up and call out the bullies, because I'm no silent bystander.
Don't cha wish that there was someone like me on the playground if your kid was being picked on by the popular girls? **cue eye-rolls**
Mama - AKA "Separation Anxiety Counselor, Closet Monster Wrangler, and tired Fetal Incubator"
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
Even though we have been here for only a month, most of us post daily, so therefore we are creepy internet friends. We don't like it when someone comes into our community to stir the pot and we have no idea who they are. Again you don't need to intro, but please participate in some of the other threads before you start asking for us to support your ridiculous behavior.
And for the record, I hope there is no one like you on my daughter's playground. I teach her to stand up for herself with respect for others, not what you have just done.
**Removed for TOU violation**
Mama - AKA "Separation Anxiety Counselor, Closet Monster Wrangler, and tired Fetal Incubator"
May17 Siggy Challenge
Labor
1) Just because you've been a member for a few years doesn't take away that you are new to the message boards. You have like 11 replies and 1 post, that is pretty "new" to the message board world.
2) This is a forum, not a blog. That might be how you confused it for a comical "Deer Diary" post.
3) If you weren't a newb, you would also know that real relationships form here, as many have mentioned.
4) Going back to your original post, there have been people that come onto these boards and create imaginary lives and pretend to be pregnant.
5) This also ties back to #4 advertising a ton of personal info is not recommended because there are creeps out on the internet, but you're not new, so you do you.
1/7/2015 Twins born @ 34 weeks
Regarding points against your rants, I would just say following:
1) I understand that you were being sarcastic with your over-the-top intro. I gather you were trying to make the point that us requiring people to intro was ridiculous so you went above and beyond in the name of irony. I still don't think that point works with your title. You don't need to say "I'm not going to intro" and then "you crazies want an intro, I'll go above and beyond to make my point!" in the same post.
2) I understand the dislike of the "mean girls" culture of the bump. In fact, that was a big part of the reason why I decided to leave it the first time around. There absolutely were women who would defend their besties no matter what they said and would go out of their way to be hostile to people to crossed them or their group. A lot of those women were banned around the time I left, though. And what exists now is a very different culture. Will people willingly tell you they disagree with you? Yup. Will you be called out for posting something ridiculous? Absolutely. But that is what most of us here actually like about the bump. It prevents asinine discussions (i.e. "I have taken six home pregnancy tests but they're all negative but I feel so maternal right now could I be pregnant?!?!?") from gaining traction because there is a code for what is accepted and what isn't. One of the biggest collective group norms that I have seen on the bump is that we don't like drive-by's, i.e. people who come in, post once, and then leave. The rule of thumb that I have heard since I joined TB in 2013 was you have to give support to get support. I think most of the people on this board (side note, board, not blog. this is not a blog) like that as well and that is why we're here. In the post in question a woman showed up, posted a question/asked for her feelings to be validated after no attempt at getting to know anyone here, and on top of that, a lot of people didn't agree with her actions and called her out on those too. People disagreeing with her actions isn't bullying, and neither is letting her know that this community frowns on people coming in and asking for help without being considerate enough to learn the group norms first.
3) I am still confused about what in your post could be a trigger. Trigger warnings are reserved for discussions about miscarriage, still birth, or other painful topics. Perhaps the best example that you don't understand the tone of this group is the fact that you felt you needed to give a trigger warning before stating your opinion. In fact, as I mentioned before, the best thing about the bump is that disagreement is normal, accepted, and expected. It seems like you might want a trigger warning before someone says something that isn't over-the-top kind to you, but most of the rest of us are just find with a little dissonance.
anyway. I'm calling MUD. the polite thing to do is to introduce yourself before starting a bunch of AW threads. It takes 30 seconds. I know for a fact that we were asked to introduce ourselves in the FB group before posting. Was OP perfectly ok with that??