I do not understand first birthday parties. The guest of honour doesn't get it; most 1 year olds I know don't love being around huge crowds of people, and they won't remember it anyway.
I'm all for a "Let's celebrate we made it through the first year of parenting with something low key and enjoyable for us" but I don't understand choosing to make your life far more stressful by hosting a large crowd of people for an event that just seems like more trouble than it's worth.
Can you tell this is inspired by recent events in my own life?
A friend of mine, who lives 3 hours away, is hosting a first birthday party for her wee one this weekend. I love this kid, I love these parents, we were all set to go, even though I don't quite get it. I just discovered that, out of the 4 residents in her home, 3 are battling some sort of illness. That's a get-out-of-jail-free card for a pregnant lady right? My weakened immune system plus the fact this is one of those hyper weaponized daycare illnesses mean it would probably take me out for a solid week and a half...
It drives me nuts when women pull the "I'm pregnant, so I'm important" card. Like everyone needs to stop what they are doing and cater to the pregnant women. We are KU, we aren't disabled. Full disclosure, this was totally inspired by someone complaining about something I thought was silly on here, but they didn't seem to know or acknowledge how entitled they were acting.
I do not understand first birthday parties. The guest of honour doesn't get it; most 1 year olds I know don't love being around huge crowds of people, and they won't remember it anyway.
I'm all for a "Let's celebrate we made it through the first year of parenting with something low key and enjoyable for us" but I don't understand choosing to make your life far more stressful by hosting a large crowd of people for an event that just seems like more trouble than it's worth.
Can you tell this is inspired by recent events in my own life?
A friend of mine, who lives 3 hours away, is hosting a first birthday party for her wee one this weekend. I love this kid, I love these parents, we were all set to go, even though I don't quite get it. I just discovered that, out of the 4 residents in her home, 3 are battling some sort of illness. That's a get-out-of-jail-free card for a pregnant lady right? My weakened immune system plus the fact this is one of those hyper weaponized daycare illnesses mean it would probably take me out for a solid week and a half...
Opinions? Can I bail?
It's absolutely rude of someone to host a party knowing they or someone in the household is sick. I would be PISSED. However, we did a huge party for DD 1st birthday. It's just a big deal for most parents, like "OMG my baby's is a YEAR!"
@Spicyweiner Oh yeah, I don't mind when other people do it, it's more just a "does not compute" thing for me, because my idea of a good time does not involve having a shit ton of people inside my bubble. I fully get not everyone is a homebody like me.
I just wanted to be totally up front that I don't get first birthday parties, so my immediate instinct to bail at the first sign of illness may have been being influenced by that. But if I'm hearing it's okay to bail from someone who was on board the 1st b-day train to begin with, I'm feeling a lot better...
It drives me nuts when women pull the "I'm pregnant, so I'm important" card. Like everyone needs to stop what they are doing and cater to the pregnant women. We are KU, we aren't disabled. Full disclosure, this was totally inspired by someone complaining about something I thought was silly on here, but they didn't seem to know or acknowledge how entitled they were acting.
Lol I straight up ask H for a foot message every so often. I feel like I'm entitled to that and it doesn't feel petty. At least he agrees!
But for the record, I get what you mean and agree 100%.
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
@concreteangell at home I'm a total special snowflake because #pregnant when I want to be. I try really hard not to do it at work or in public though. My husband should be picking up the slack because I'm gestating for him. The rest of the world I assume gives no fucks.
I agree, absolutely entitled to foot rubs from my husband. Other than that, I think when it comes down to it, you gotta know exactly where someone else is coming from before you can say "Sorry, my shit is more important than what you're dealing with."
Like, say, speaking purely hypothetically, when my husband throws a bit of a hissy fit because he didn't get his shit together yesterday morning, and didn't accomplish as much as he wanted to, I'm allowed to say "you know what, I don't have time for this. I didn't get going very quickly this morning either, because I was up peeing 87 times a night. Keep some perspective." Hypothetically speaking, of course... Because I know what he's going through, we talk and communicate regularly. But random person on the street? I don't know what they're going through. Maybe they can't give me their seat on the subway because, even though they look healthy, they're really really not, and they'll bail if they're standing up. Maybe they're coming from a chemo appointment and can barely stand.
Yes, pregnancy is a shit-ton of work, and our bodies feel it. But that doesn't mean we know what others are going through and can assume our stuff needs to take priority.
I got irrationally upset the other day that no one offered to help me carry my bags of groceries from my car to the office. I knew it was stupid, I could clearly carry the groceries...but for whatever reason I was still pissed no one offered.
@poetryandoceans I won't go anywhere near people that are sick/contagious and would never host a party if I had someone sick in my house. Germ theory is all the backup you need!
@scifichick09 I think the key word there is "irrationally" -- you knew it was irrational! Hormones are crazy, sometimes we feel things that aren't super grounded in reality. There's a difference between feeling that and losing it at the next 5 people you see because they don't offer you to help (I'm assuming you didn't lose it on the next 5 people you saw...)
@poetryandoceans I won't go anywhere near people that are sick/contagious and would never host a party if I had someone sick in my house. Germ theory is all the backup you need!
Sitting here at a work-provided lunch, and I found my UO. I don't like chips much at all. I like Ruffles enough to eat them, and tortilla chips with salsa or guac are awesome. Little chip bags from Jimmy John's with BBQ or Salt & vinegar or something? Nope. I don't buy chips at grocery stores, I don't order them as sides, just Nope.
@Amber_Waves SO RUDE!!! If someone tells you the name they are thinking of, and they don't specifically say "Do you see any potential issues with our choosing that name for our baby" the only response is "That is a lovely name, and I can't wait to meet him or her"
I hate maternity glamour photo shoots. Maybe some people want them for themselves to remember the pregnancy, but why post them all over Facebook for the world to see?
My UO: It's rude and tacky to criticize a baby name unless you are specifically asked to help troubleshoot for bad associations and nicknames.
But sometimes names are just so bad you HAVE to try to prevent a poor child from being saddled with it.
I've had to struggle a few times. I stick with a canned "neat!" or "awesome!" at all times. Port-line (hyphen added in case the parents ever Google their daughter) for a neice nearly threw me. We called her port wine for a while.
Disclaimer: being pregnant is not fun for me and I feel, in general, if I'm extra grouchy, tired, etc, H should be slightly more understanding. It's nice to feel understood in the sense that my body is doing some crazy shit and I may not be 100%.
With that being said, anatomically-speaking, men can't get pregnant. If I want to have a child, it's known that I'll have to be the one to carry the baby. It's not like we drew straws and I got the short one and should use that to throw it in H's face. It just is what it is and it does annoy me when women use that as a card to pull.
I think it's ok to give suggestions on names while the parents are still deciding on one. But if they've already decided and are set in stone, about it, I don't think anyone should criticize the name. UMLESS it's something ridiculous like "Anus." Lolz
My UO: It's rude and tacky to criticize a baby name unless you are specifically asked to help troubleshoot for bad associations and nicknames.
But sometimes names are just so bad you HAVE to try to prevent a poor child from being saddled with it. N
You have to keep it inside and shove it way down deep. That's how diamonds are made.
If it is someone I don't know well I would probably say that's different or nice and let it go. If someone I was close to was going to use a terrible name, not just one I don't like but something awful, I would say something. I might not say i hate it but I might say it isn't something I would choose. If they ask for more information after that I would be polite but honest.
I never minded people being honest with their thoughts on my kids' names. My father hated my daughter's name for the longest time. She is 3 and he still doesn't love the name but he got used to it.
@Amber_Waves SO RUDE!!! If someone tells you the name they are thinking of, and they don't specifically say "Do you see any potential issues with our choosing that name for our baby" the only response is "That is a lovely name, and I can't wait to meet him or her"
So much this. I was hanging out with my aunt and best friend and one of them asked if we had a name picked out yet. I told them we were thinking about Kanan (yes, I'm aware of the potential pronunciation issues, but I'm not that worried about it, and we love it more and more everyday). Anyway, My aunt responds with confusion, "Kanan?? Where's that come from?" Understandable, so I explain. She then tells me she doesn't really like it. My best friend then chimes in with "How about you just name him Kayden! That's close enough and it sounds better!" My aunt agreed we should name him Kayden.
In my mind I said, "Bitch. No. I'm not interested in Kayden, I'm interested in Kanan. I never asked your opinions. You asked what we were thinking and I told you." But instead I just half smiled and said "No, I don't like Kayden." Ugh. I hate people. If you don't like my baby name, that's fine. Go home and talk about it with someone else, but don't mention it to me unless I ask you for your opinion.
I secretly love the way my son smells after coming in from his walks. He smells like an outside puppy dog, it reminds me of being a carefree kid, and somehow I love it.
If you tell someone a name, expect an opinion. Thats just how it is. If you don't want opinions then you probably should just not talk about it.
Ra-spect, but I disagree. There's a difference between "we're thinking about the name Syphalus!" and "We decided on Syphalus!" IMO one extends an invitation for opinions and the other is looking for reciprocal excitement. That being said, there's a difference between "Oh hell no don't name your kid after an STD!" and "nice, how original!" and "oh I am not sure I would be brave enough to go with that name, doesn't it remind you of the STD?" KWIM? There are veddy veddy sneaky ways of throwing in an opinion.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
My UO is that I'm not a germaphobe. I usually just don't worry about that stuff. I'm making myself worry a little while PG, but it's tough. @poetryandoceans I still think it's a valid reason to skip that party if you want.
My UO: It's rude and tacky to criticize a baby name unless you are specifically asked to help troubleshoot for bad associations and nicknames.
But sometimes names are just so bad you HAVE to try to prevent a poor child from being saddled with it. N
You have to keep it inside and shove it way down deep. That's how diamonds are made.
I can't. It's just not in my genetic makeup.
LOL!
If it is ridiculous lname I am going to mention in the nicest way possible to re think it. As a teacher I cannot help but see what happens with really bad names. But if it is just I personally do not like it, I well just say ohh that is nice and leave it at that.
My UO: I really dislike made up names, but I think the worst offenders are the ones that look like misspellings of real names. Your kid is not to cool to use the original, calm down.
I was in Walmart a while ago and our cashier's name was "Denisse". What's wrong with Denise? Or I know this one is popular now (I'm prepared to be pelted with rocks), but Jaxson? What's wrong with Jackson?
Maybe this is more of a fffc: I wouldn't bat an eye if a reg starts a new thread, even if it's something silly. I save my redirection (or wrath) for the non contributors or drive by randos.
My UO: I think child leashes are ridiculous. I know someone with triplet toddlers, and they use a wagon to keep them in one area...not leashes like this lovely woman pictured....
On the name topic. Whenever someone picks a name from their favorite movie or celebrity I think of the movie that's my boy when he had his son get the tattoo of new kids on the block. It might be something you love but your kid might not want to be named Harry Potter or Frodo just because you had an obsession.
Re: UO Thursday 09/22
I'm all for a "Let's celebrate we made it through the first year of parenting with something low key and enjoyable for us" but I don't understand choosing to make your life far more stressful by hosting a large crowd of people for an event that just seems like more trouble than it's worth.
Can you tell this is inspired by recent events in my own life?
A friend of mine, who lives 3 hours away, is hosting a first birthday party for her wee one this weekend. I love this kid, I love these parents, we were all set to go, even though I don't quite get it. I just discovered that, out of the 4 residents in her home, 3 are battling some sort of illness. That's a get-out-of-jail-free card for a pregnant lady right? My weakened immune system plus the fact this is one of those hyper weaponized daycare illnesses mean it would probably take me out for a solid week and a half...
Opinions? Can I bail?
Like everyone needs to stop what they are doing and cater to the pregnant women.
We are KU, we aren't disabled.
Full disclosure, this was totally inspired by someone complaining about something I thought was silly on here, but they didn't seem to know or acknowledge how entitled they were acting.
However, we did a huge party for DD 1st birthday. It's just a big deal for most parents, like "OMG my baby's is a YEAR!"
I just wanted to be totally up front that I don't get first birthday parties, so my immediate instinct to bail at the first sign of illness may have been being influenced by that. But if I'm hearing it's okay to bail from someone who was on board the 1st b-day train to begin with, I'm feeling a lot better...
But for the record, I get what you mean and agree 100%.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Like, say, speaking purely hypothetically, when my husband throws a bit of a hissy fit because he didn't get his shit together yesterday morning, and didn't accomplish as much as he wanted to, I'm allowed to say "you know what, I don't have time for this. I didn't get going very quickly this morning either, because I was up peeing 87 times a night. Keep some perspective." Hypothetically speaking, of course... Because I know what he's going through, we talk and communicate regularly. But random person on the street? I don't know what they're going through. Maybe they can't give me their seat on the subway because, even though they look healthy, they're really really not, and they'll bail if they're standing up. Maybe they're coming from a chemo appointment and can barely stand.
Yes, pregnancy is a shit-ton of work, and our bodies feel it. But that doesn't mean we know what others are going through and can assume our stuff needs to take priority.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
@poetryandoceans Haha no, I didn't lose it on anyone. I just went home and complained to the hubby.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
Lile a true bitch.
Married: 10/10
EDD: 8/27/16 MMC 1/16
Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
EDD: 9/6/19
With that being said, anatomically-speaking, men can't get pregnant. If I want to have a child, it's known that I'll have to be the one to carry the baby. It's not like we drew straws and I got the short one and should use that to throw it in H's face. It just is what it is and it does annoy me when women use that as a card to pull.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I think it's ok to give suggestions on names while the parents are still deciding on one. But if they've already decided and are set in stone, about it, I don't think anyone should criticize the name. UMLESS it's something ridiculous like "Anus." Lolz
I never minded people being honest with their thoughts on my kids' names. My father hated my daughter's name for the longest time. She is 3 and he still doesn't love the name but he got used to it.
So much this. I was hanging out with my aunt and best friend and one of them asked if we had a name picked out yet. I told them we were thinking about Kanan (yes, I'm aware of the potential pronunciation issues, but I'm not that worried about it, and we love it more and more everyday). Anyway, My aunt responds with confusion, "Kanan?? Where's that come from?" Understandable, so I explain. She then tells me she doesn't really like it. My best friend then chimes in with "How about you just name him Kayden! That's close enough and it sounds better!" My aunt agreed we should name him Kayden.
In my mind I said, "Bitch. No. I'm not interested in Kayden, I'm interested in Kanan. I never asked your opinions. You asked what we were thinking and I told you." But instead I just half smiled and said "No, I don't like Kayden." Ugh. I hate people. If you don't like my baby name, that's fine. Go home and talk about it with someone else, but don't mention it to me unless I ask you for your opinion.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Thats just how it is.
If you don't want opinions then you probably should just not talk about it.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
Im not saying it's right or wrong, I'm just saying it is what it is. It's just human nature.
No I'm not going to name my son Jedediah or Maynard, so please stop with the suggestions.
Ps. Those aren't the names being suggested, but you get my drift... also no offense to anyone who likes those, they're just not my cup of coffee.
If it is ridiculous lname I am going to mention in the nicest way possible to re think it. As a teacher I cannot help but see what happens with really bad names. But if it is just I personally do not like it, I well just say ohh that is nice and leave it at that.
Married to my Soul Mate since 09/06/09
I was in Walmart a while ago and our cashier's name was "Denisse". What's wrong with Denise? Or I know this one is popular now (I'm prepared to be pelted with rocks), but Jaxson? What's wrong with Jackson?
I wouldn't bat an eye if a reg starts a new thread, even if it's something silly.
I save my redirection (or wrath) for the non contributors or drive by randos.