UO Thursday 09/22 - Page 4 — The Bump
February 2017 Moms

UO Thursday 09/22

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Re: UO Thursday 09/22

  • kswiger06kswiger06
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited September 2016
    I guess I'm the opposite. 
    When we go somewhere with the kid and H, I immediately let him deal with her. 
    Lucky

    One of my sister's are like that. Her ex husband seemed to watch the kids while she did her thing, and now her current husband does. I'm always watching them thinking, how does she do that? Lol
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Interesting stuff. I'm definitely going to try some travel with this kid. I can't help myself. I hope I don't hate it! 

    WinchesterGirl
  • kswiger06 said:
    I guess I'm the opposite. 
    When we go somewhere with the kid and H, I immediately let him deal with her. 
    Lucky

    One of my sister's are like that. Her ex husband seemed to watch the kids while she did her thing, and now her current husband does. I'm always watching them thinking, how does she do that? Lol
    My SO watches our son at parties too. I have no idea how the hell I lucked out in that aspect. 
    kswiger06
  • kswiger06 said:
    I guess I'm the opposite. 
    When we go somewhere with the kid and H, I immediately let him deal with her. 
    Lucky

    One of my sister's are like that. Her ex husband seemed to watch the kids while she did her thing, and now her current husband does. I'm always watching them thinking, how does she do that? Lol
    My SO watches our son at parties too. I have no idea how the hell I lucked out in that aspect. 
    Ditto, usually. In my case it's because I enjoy socializing way more than he does - it gives him an excuse to remove himself! This is also why he usually cleans the kitchen when we entertain  ;)
    glitterdragon-2kswiger06musicinmysoul17
  • MommaBean said:
    kswiger06 said:
    I guess I'm the opposite. 
    When we go somewhere with the kid and H, I immediately let him deal with her. 
    Lucky

    One of my sister's are like that. Her ex husband seemed to watch the kids while she did her thing, and now her current husband does. I'm always watching them thinking, how does she do that? Lol
    My SO watches our son at parties too. I have no idea how the hell I lucked out in that aspect. 
    Ditto, usually. In my case it's because I enjoy socializing way more than he does - it gives him an excuse to remove himself! This is also why he usually cleans the kitchen when we entertain  ;)
    Now that you mention it, it's probably because he doesn't want to talk to people haha
    MommaBeanPerraSucia
  • Maybe it's because we've been doing it for 7 and a half years but traveling with kids is just what we do.   I don't know if I would know what to do with myself on a vacation with just my husband.   

    I am pro leash.   We luckily never needed them, but coming from a group of multiples moms, I know plenty of moms who did.  You get 2 or 3 2 year olds out in public, and without speaking they will head in two different directions.   



    Married - 7/29/06
    Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 
    Mia - 6/16/11
    Surprise! due 2/23/17


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Re: the maternity leave convo/comparison that I think was in randoms, my UO is that I don't think anyone else should have to pay you/me/women to stay home.  I think bonding time is important and our jobs should be protected, but I don't think the govt or employers should have to pay our salary during that time. Nor do I want to pay higher taxes in order to cover yours! I, of course, would love and make use of more paid time off, but I'm not in the "I'm appalled the US doesn't do this" camp. 
    yogadevilWinchesterGirl
  • kswiger06 said:
    I guess I'm the opposite. 
    When we go somewhere with the kid and H, I immediately let him deal with her. 
    Lucky

    One of my sister's are like that. Her ex husband seemed to watch the kids while she did her thing, and now her current husband does. I'm always watching them thinking, how does she do that? Lol
    I'm like "she spent her first 2 years attached to my boob, it's your turn."
    When not pregnant I always make/let/beg him to DD.
    kswiger06musicinmysoul17
  • MommaBeanMommaBean
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited September 2016
    MommaBean said:
    Re: the maternity leave convo/comparison that I think was in randoms, my UO is that I don't think anyone else should have to pay you/me/women to stay home.  I think bonding time is important and our jobs should be protected, but I don't think the govt or employers should have to pay our salary during that time. Nor do I want to pay higher taxes in order to cover yours! I, of course, would love and make use of more paid time off, but I'm not in the "I'm appalled the US doesn't do this" camp. 

    SITB

    I disagree wholeheartedly. That "bonding time" is vital. It improves your and baby's health and baby's IQ. There are tons of other benefits. To pay for that maternity time off would cost so little in taxes that I'm appalled anyone would be opposed to it. Seriously, think less than $100/year.

    Many women can't afford maternity time if it is not provided. My friend has a college degree and has worked since high school. Her last job gave her 3 PTO days per year. THREE. And they wouldn't pay maternity leave. Many other moms work jobs that offer no paid time off or vacation time. Most people can't afford to take unpaid time off-- their health and their children suffer because of it. Or they fall further into poverty and rely on other government programs to make ends meet.

    I'd much rather pay for maternity leave and invest in the health and safety of our next generation than some of the other things our government pays for. 
    I can't afford to stay home unpaid either, so I'll be going back to work when I exhaust my sick leave. It'd be great to be able to stay home longer and get paid, i just don't think the government is obligated to foot that bill for me.

    ETA: I want to add/reiterate that I know bonding is important. I'm going to be really sad when it's time to leave my baby and go back to work at 6-8 weeks! I just don't think I'm OWED more than that, that's all.  
    Lafreeman21WinchesterGirl
  • I don't know what the answers are, but the state of maternity leave in our country is insane.   There has to be a way that is fair, and if it is working in so many other countries, there has to be a way to make something work here.   

    I am in a job now where I am very fortunate to not have to worry about it.  I work from home, and make my own hours.   It will be up to me to see how I can handle things, but this is the best scenario I can imagine for me, and I am nothing but sympathetic for anyone struggling with how to make it work. 
    Married - 7/29/06
    Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 
    Mia - 6/16/11
    Surprise! due 2/23/17


    BabyFruit Ticker
    Gretchypooskiingstarkscifichick09
  • Where I live it is run through Employment Insurance. (Unemployment) Some people will also never need that but we are all paying into it. What I would like is if men were offered leave that didn't affect time a woman can take.

    It has been around a while and women are still being hired, with or without kids. You will always find a company who dislikes women taking their time off but those people would feel the same no matter what.

    I don't think not being able to afford a lot of unpaid time off means not being able to afford kids. 

    I have more to add but I am on my way out. I will finish laterm. 

    jab3-2Gretchypooscifichick09
  • I saw someone mention something about military spending and it's only going to get worse. I don't know how many military families are here but H is in the army and he says his commander claims they're downsizing the National Guard drastically to upsize more highly trained service members like the special forces because he feels we're on the verge of another war. I don't know how true that is, but I've noticed many more commercials, billboards, etc to urge young people to join the military. And military training is expensive! DH says his BT and AIT was equivalent to upwards of a $20k education, so multiply that by all the new recruits. And the U.S. just sent $38 billion to Israel. Which, I do understand. They're the strongest intelligence in the world and it's good to have them as an ally, but I fear there sadly won't be any changes made to maternity leave, childcare, or other government assistance for quite a while. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    skiingstark
  • Lafreeman21Lafreeman21
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    edited September 2016
    @yogadevil that was probably the least emotional explanation of the differences in people's expectation of the government's role in social safety net I've seen. Can I leave my husband for you? Lol.
    I'm a libertarian, and tend to be relatively cold when it comes to social nets. I get villianized as wanting people to be abandoned with their struggles, which is not my opinion; I dont think I (or the government) should have a strong right to dictate to someone who they must financially assist. Like you said, there's a gray area. There has to be some support, we'll argue about how much until the country dissolves.

    ETA: I do feel fairly warm about paid maternity. If I had a check box on my tax form to dictate where my financial support went, I'd probably choose that for part of it. I just don't support being told where and how much I'll be donating.
    Me: 31  H: 32
    Married: 10/10
    EDD: 8/27/16  MMC 1/16
    Rainbow Boy: 2/04/17
    TTC: 4/18 BFP: 1/2/19
    EDD: 9/6/19
    Pregnancy Ticker
    yogadevilWinchesterGirl
  • edited September 2016
    On the mat leave issue, here in the uk we get 6 weeks full pay then the government give £145 a week (which my company top up to £200)  for 9 months with an option to take 3 months unpaid at the end of the paid leave. On one hand it is great that we get the leave we do but also on the other hand i feel that having worked full time for 16 years and paid taxes all of this & my husband currently pays 40% income tax that we should get something & have no issue with taking from the government on this occasion. There are so many people who take advantage of the "welfare state" here that have never worked yet get benefits and act extremely entitled to take from the system despite never having paid into it. 

    Edited cause posted before i had finished
    WinchesterGirlmusicinmysoul17
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