UO Thursday (9-15)

Squirtgun · September 2016

Anybody got some unpopular opinions to share?

Squirtgun · September 2016

I much prefer real books to kindles. Among my friends that's a pretty unpopular opinion!

Jkp7749 · September 2016

I'm full of unpopular opinions lol. I agree with you @squirtgun my husband bought me a kindle and I use it for pinterest but I still read real books.

My unpopular opinion is that I love once upon a time, secret life of an American teenager, pretty little liars, baby daddy.... name any crappy show and I probably love it haha. I drive my husband crazy.

MollyandD · September 2016

I've said this before, but I hate the term "rainbow baby."

Someone on Facebook shared an article about a pregnant mom wearing a shirt that said something along the lines of, "You're looking at a rainbow." I do see how precious and sweet it is. I just think it's a very personal decision to use that term. When I lost my baby, my husband's cousin mentioned me having a rainbow baby, and it felt too painful too use that term. This pregnancy is not a "rainbow" to me. It's a separate thing from the baby I lost. I'm thrilled to be pregnant now, and I don't want to use a term that reminds me of my loss every time I talk about this one.

CherryBananas · September 2016

Squirtgun said:

I much prefer real books to kindles. Among my friends that's a pretty unpopular opinion!

Me too! I focus so much better when I'm holding a real book.

ETA: @Jkp7749, Once Upon a Time is one of my favourites! Except for the Peter Pan season. That story arc was pretty bad lol

emilyalso · September 2016

@Jkp7749 - WHO IS AD??!?!

How will they answer all of our questions in the last 10 episodes??? I'm a little obsessed with the liars. I did grow to hate Secret Life, but I was compelled to keep watching to find out what happened.

My unpopular opinion is that I don't believe gender is fluid. When I hear someone down on a 'gender reveal party' because 'you can't reveal their gender, they will choose it later,' I do a big ol' inward eye roll.

kat81 · September 2016

I know this depends on your definition of "big" or "small," but I prefer a medium/smallish house to a big one. I don't automatically think bigger / more space is better. If someone gave me a pile of money to upgrade to a bigger house I wouldn't take it because I consider that more hassle, and I like being forced to cut down on junk. I'm not judging where other people live, just my personal preference for where I live.

Granted, you can ask me again in a few years when we have kids sharing rooms and it might be a big mess. But for now I'm sticking by this opinion.

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · September 2016

@emilyalso Are you saying you don't believe someone's gender can be different from their sex? Or, are you saying that you think the controversy over "gender" reveals is too much?

Jkp7749 · September 2016

@emilyalso that was my big unpopular opinion that I was not sure if I could actually share lol. I was a member of the jan 17 board and they were always arguing (about EVERYTHING). one of the heated topics was gender vs. sex. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing.

@kat81 same! We have a small house and debated on whether to move but ultimately decided to make ours as nice as we can and stay. We have a big yard and the living areas are spacious so who cares if our bedrooms are small, our kids will just have to play out in the den or in the yard but I think that is nice.

hezzer78 · September 2016

@CherryBananas @Squirtgun @Jkp7749

i used to be in the no kindle train too - til my DH got me one for my bday. I was laying on the couch reading the first book in a trilogy on it and finished and was like "Dang! That was really good! I wish I had the second one to read right now......wait. I can!" So after that I'm a big convert

it's also easier to read on the elliptical.

My UO is that I hate the movie theatre. I go once in a blue moon but only if forced. I love watching movies at home with my own snacks and drinks

emilyalso · September 2016

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot - I believe that one's biological sex and gender are inextricably linked. But like @Jkp7749 said... it can for sure cause some heated discussions. I wasn't trying to 'start anything' - it's honestly the first thing that came to mind.

I would just point back to the title of this thread - "unpopular" (I know people will disagree with me) "opinion" (it's ok if we disagree).

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · September 2016

As we all know, "unpopular" & "flame-free" are not actually flame free. You can come in here and share you're (very wrong) opinion, but others are free to call you out on it.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/86/hpnsy1t58a49.gif

ETA: I don't care what you call the event in which you announce your child's sex. But I do care if you believe that entire sections of the population who are transgender (or anything else) are "the most ridiculous thing" or shouldn't be their true selves. It is 2016 for goodness sake.

lildropofheavn23 · September 2016

My UO is that I strongly dislike all music but country. I cannot listen to the garbage on the popular radio stations today. If it's not The Highway, it's not for me

kat81 · September 2016

@Jkp7749 I agree that the yard is a better place to play as long as you live somewhere with reasonably decent weather for much of the year! So much better for kids' development in so many ways.

@emliyalso and @Jkp7749 -- haha, you can count me in as one of the annoying folks who says sex and gender a separate from each other! That's one reason I like being team green is that I can put off the gender socialization of my children until at least they're born. Granted, I won't deny that biology HIGHLY correlates with gender, obviously, and even with some behaviors/expressions (that can lead to some of the stereotypical toy likes/dislikes). What I don't like is how much society forces certain gender norms on kids/people. These are harmful for kids of all sexes/genders. I'd even say I think that we should go out of our way to introduce our boys to girly things and girls to boyish things to give them a chance to have those interests. That's not to say you don't let your girl be a princess if she wants to be (in fact that is where we are right now, haha.) But you might find that your boy is interested in being a princess, and you shouldn't be afraid to give that a try (also something we sort of had for a little while when DS was younger.)

emilyalso · September 2016

@lildropofheavn23 - For me, country music had its peak in the 90's with names like Deana Carter, Alan Jackson, Clint Black, JoDee Messina, Diamond Rio... Today, some of the country is as bad as the pop. Eek! (But maybe I'm just an old fuddy-duddy.)

Stormy61 · September 2016

@Jkp7749 I thought I was the only one that watched Baby Daddy!

jatwal128 · September 2016

@kat81 i'm also one of those annoying "ridiculous" people that says they're separate things. And good for you for being team green! I don't know if I could hold out that long without knowing. We will certainly be requesting that people refrain from getting all gender specific clothing/toys etc. though.

And @NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot is right, not all UO are flame free... gender reveal parties are really just genital reveal parties. Did I get any big ol' eyerolls with that??

edited: clarity

RedBreast35 · September 2016

jatwal128 said:

*snip*
... gender reveal parties are really just genital reveal parties.

Can we please just refer to them as the bolded from here on out?

comealongponds · September 2016

RedBreast35 said:

jatwal128 said:

*snip*
... gender reveal parties are really just genital reveal parties.

Can we please just refer to them as the bolded from here on out?

Totally lurking, but +1 for this rename. Congratulations @jatwal128 you win the internet today!

Kipperoo · September 2016

RedBreast35 said:

jatwal128 said:

*snip*
... gender reveal parties are really just genital reveal parties.

Can we please just refer to them as the bolded from here on out?

Uh...YES PLEASE! Gender reveal parties are the worst, and there is no ambiguity...sex and gender are two very different and independently defined things. It's like not believing in evolution...which I guess could spark another kind of "debate" that doesn't exist.

My unpopular opinion--I absolutely hate showers of all kinds (bridal, baby)...if you can't afford to buy your own crap, you shouldn't be taking that step in your life. This said, I was forced into having both a bridal AND a baby shower by my mother, but I protested heavily, did not subject my friends to attendance, and will not be having one with baby #2. This does not mean that I don't still shell out the $$ every time I'm invited to them...I just find them boring, self involved, and generally awful.

jatwal128 · September 2016

@emilyalso @Jkp7749 I know you said you didn't want to start anything with that opinion, but you should know that there is a reason that this topic often leads to heated discussions and it really isn't the "most ridiculous thing". The words gender and sex mean completely different things. Gender is psychological, sex is biological. By saying that you don't believe gender is fluid (which, really, everything inside someone's mind is fluid, so that's asinine), you are isolating a whole group of people on this planet who are fighting a long and hard battle against prejudice and are just trying to be understood and seen as equals. And in doing so, you're also isolating those who care for people personally fighting those battles and therefore will take those comments very personally.

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · September 2016

I left for a lunch meeting and came back to discover that several awesome ladies were able to state my "sex" feelings much more succinctly than I was. You guys are awesome. Genital reveal parties for all!

Luckyu317 · September 2016

People shouldn't expect baby showers after their first child, whether second, third, etc. children are the opposite sex or not.

chickyclg · September 2016

Luckyu317 said:

People shouldn't expect baby showers after their first child, whether second, third, etc. children are the opposite sex or not.

@Luckyu317 I kind of fall in this group, but I've noticed in some cultures/ regions they are more acceptable

And for my official stance on sex and gender is Sex=/=Gender. They are 2 very different things!

Yiggle09 · September 2016

I have a sprinkle to go to and I've been complaining about it for a while now. After the first I don't think a second shower should happen and I'm hoping no one surprises me with one this time

Luckyu317 · September 2016

@chickyclg I think I'm more referring to people who expect them. If someone throws a surprise sprinkle, that's different. I also think it's tacky for someone to host their own shower.

MollyandD · September 2016

@kat81 I like what you said. I encourage the kids in my class to be interested in whatever they want, whether it's "boyish" or "girlie." We talk about how boys and girls can like any color, book, or tv show. Things can't be boys or girls, so anyone can like any "thing." I think it's so important for my 3rd graders to feel safe to be who they want to be.

chickyclg · September 2016

@Luckyu317 the expectation is super tacky, and someone should never host their own shower (it just seems gift grabby). There was one girl on my FB that I rolled my eyes so hard at because nobody wanted to come to her 4th baby shower (in 4 years, all girls) that she was throwing herself. I just remember thinking, what the hell do you still need.

CherryBananas · September 2016

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/mc/01p1rjxbj1tm.gif

@NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot @jatwal128

Sorry if I missed tagging equally brilliant thoughts. Mobile can bite me today

kat81 · September 2016

Guys I have to say...things have changed in 6 years since I was most active on here. There are certainly more named trigger warnings (for losses) and here are all of these people coming out about gender=/=sex! Wow! It used to be that my opinion was the unpopular one, but now it seems as though it's the majority.* Maybe we'll soon be entering a less gender-socialized world for our kids. I can only hope. I have heard of more boys wearing dresses and pink and whatnot, though, so one can only hope (girls have been "allowed" to be tomboys for quite some time.)

*Or, more likely, most people do agree that gender is basically the same as sex, and that societal gender socialization isn't harmful or a big deal, but don't feel so strongly to pop in and say something. Still, I see the number of adamant gender=/=sex people encouraging.

All of this said, I can understand the eye rolls in response to us because of course the way it plays out is that your genitals do usually match your gender. It's just important for everyone to realize that is not always the case, and to be on the lookout for their own kids' gender expression. And even if you have a boy who feels like a boy, he might be into girly stuff. As a 3 yr old DS once said to his classmates, "I am a BOY! I like girl stuff sometimes, but I am a boy!"

Jkp7749 · September 2016

I stated my opinion, yall stated yours, move on. You won't change my opinion and I'm not going to change yours but I sure hope this board doesn't turn out like the jan. Board. I said they argued about everything and one of the heated topics was gender vs sex reveals, I think it's ridiculous to argue so much and get so heated esp over something so dumb as what you call a party, I did not call Transgender people ridiculous. Reread my comment if you need to. I also think it's crazy how people can't actually gave an opinion anymore.

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · September 2016

@jkp7749 This has been a hot topic since I've been around in 2013. But, like @kat81 said, the non-ignorant gender=/=sex argument is now the norm. You acknowledged your opinion was unpopular. I'm not sure why you want to criticize another bmb, either. The Bump has always been a place for moms to discuss hot button or controversial topics, hence the purpose of UO and FFFC. If you don't want to partake, don't. If you do, put on your big girl panties.

pghren · September 2016

I just want to say thank you to everyone for standing up for gender fluidity and spectrums of all kinds. I started reading this thread for some light Thursday fun with my bumpies, but after reading that incredibly hurtful and insensitive post I nearly started crying. I identify as genderfluid. My whole life I've never felt like "all the other girls." And, now my allies in this child bearing adventure were denying my existence and invalidating my experiences. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for saying the words I don't know if I would have been able to say but am so glad to hear. Thank you for sharing the wisdom that the people whose experiences these are should be believed when they are brave enough to share their "unpopular" truth about their gender experiences.

And I'd really appreciate anyone whose "opinion" is otherwise to keep the hate speech off these boards.

Squirtgun · September 2016

@allowachick may I give you a creepy internet hug?

I hope that you feel comfortable staying here as part of our group! (I'm not great with words, sorry.)

NotAPlaya-JustCrushAlot · September 2016

@allowachick

pghren · September 2016

Thank you guys! I love the hugs!

jatwal128 · September 2016

@Jkp7749 everyone is allowed to state their opinion. But when you do, you have to be prepared for others to react to that opinion. And if your "opinion" is one that is hurtful or controversial, then the reactions you get are likely not going to be positive. That's what happens when you post in a public forum, you interact with people from all walks of life.

MollyandD · September 2016

@allowachick I'm sorry that words of others on here caused you to feel less than lifted up, loved, and accepted.

Candy_bandit · September 2016

Image result for david bowie you are awesome gif

Candy_bandit · September 2016

Aw man my Bowie gif failed!

Candy_bandit · September 2016

Image result for david bowie gif funny straws

And I fixed it... this is my UO. And add another vote for genital reveal party... that is the greatest thing I have heard ever!

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