@poetryandoceans I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through! And I in no way was talking about you at all, that sounds awful and you're absolutely right that parenting decisions are a huge deal and definitely should be reflected upon and discussed. The issue is when someone who got divorced because her and her husband didn't make time to spend together tells a group of women that they are parenting their children unhealthily because they don't leave them overnight. If she had just stated that we should make time for ourselves and our marital relationships because it would benefit us greatly, no one would be upset, the issue is we were called unhealthy parents and that is where the projection is coming from.
Lol! Yeah.... Let's blow this waaaaay up ;;insert eye roll:: that is not WHY I got divorced FFS, nor do I need to defend or elaborate. My God! Go back to your perfect marriage and life, because clearly you must have one to be so judgey judgey on a teeny bit of a comment from a much bigger conversation. Puke. I was using one tiny component. Again, for the eight millionth time, nobody was called an unhealthy parent, we have established that. Comprehension is tuff sometimes, I get it.
@lap018 Thank you I am in the camp that thinks that therapy can benefit everyone; I was by no means dysfunctional before I started, and I didn't have an *awful* childhood, just one that left me with some necessary tweaks before I started on my own parenting journey. I just wanted to share what was shaping my perspective, and I think talking openly about talking to someone is important (for many of the same reasons I think talking about parenting is important, actually)
@poetryandoceans yay for seeing baby today!!! Are you finding out the sex or are you one of those incredibly strong women who can be team green???? I have zero willpower when it comes to that!!! Cheers to a super awesome scan!
As a little thing (under 8 months or so) my daughter had several overnights with her grandparents. Her first she was 3 weeks old (My sister got married, my inlaws and DH wanted to help me relax and enjoy an incredibly rare visit with my extended family **think our wedding and my sisters** my moms cousins came from all over, very very small family). Granted I had a panic attack after the wine wore off but it was a very sweet gesture. They took for another wedding and that New Year's Eve. They will take her when this child is born.
We haven't had a need to leave her overnight for many months (but she hangs out with both sets of grandparents very often). Especially since this pregnancy ... We're treasuring our as a couple alone time while it's easier to get!
@poetryandoceans I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through! And I in no way was talking about you at all, that sounds awful and you're absolutely right that parenting decisions are a huge deal and definitely should be reflected upon and discussed. The issue is when someone who got divorced because her and her husband didn't make time to spend together tells a group of women that they are parenting their children unhealthily because they don't leave them overnight. If she had just stated that we should make time for ourselves and our marital relationships because it would benefit us greatly, no one would be upset, the issue is we were called unhealthy parents and that is where the projection is coming from.
Lol! Yeah.... Let's blow this waaaaay up ;;insert eye roll:: that is not WHY I got divorced FFS, nor do I need to defend or elaborate. My God! Go back to your perfect marriage and life, because clearly you must have one to be so judgey judgey on a teeny bit of a comment from a much bigger conversation. Puke. I was using one tiny component. Again, for the eight millionth time, nobody was called an unhealthy parent, we have established that. Comprehension is tuff sometimes, I get it.
I'm pretty sure it's *tough*, I could be wrong though since I have low comprehension skills
@poetryandoceans yay for seeing baby today!!! Are you finding out the sex or are you one of those incredibly strong women who can be team green???? I have zero willpower when it comes to that!!! Cheers to a super awesome scan!
We are in the midst of an ongoing debate. (well, actually, I'm in debate with myself) I've been firmly team green for the last 20 weeks. My in-laws are going to gender the shit out of this baby as soon as they know, so I've been wanting to save that until after the birth. But I've been having really strong mom-tuition about the gender, and I want to know if I'm right...
My husband is in medicine, though, and can read ultrasounds quite well. Kiddo might start off the scan by flashing us and take the decision out of our hands, because if he finds out and doesn't tell me, he will be sleeping on the couch until the kid is in college.
@poetryandoceans I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through! And I in no way was talking about you at all, that sounds awful and you're absolutely right that parenting decisions are a huge deal and definitely should be reflected upon and discussed. The issue is when someone who got divorced because her and her husband didn't make time to spend together tells a group of women that they are parenting their children unhealthily because they don't leave them overnight. If she had just stated that we should make time for ourselves and our marital relationships because it would benefit us greatly, no one would be upset, the issue is we were called unhealthy parents and that is where the projection is coming from.
Lol! Yeah.... Let's blow this waaaaay up ;;insert eye roll:: that is not WHY I got divorced FFS, nor do I need to defend or elaborate. My God! Go back to your perfect marriage and life, because clearly you must have one to be so judgey judgey on a teeny bit of a comment from a much bigger conversation. Puke. I was using one tiny component. Again, for the eight millionth time, nobody was called an unhealthy parent, we have established that. Comprehension is tuff sometimes, I get it.
I'm pretty sure it's *tough*, I could be wrong though since I have low comprehension skills
Yeah, I get it. I was making it more simple for you to understand. I find it hard to believe that anyone with any class would find it ok to say what you said about ones misfortune of a divorce. Your comment was rude, so I was showing the same "respect". I would NEVER make a comment as you did about someone's past or be insensitive over a divorce, especially one that clearly had children involved. You don't know my story, you have no clue. I wasn't even trying to share my story of divorce on you or anyone else, just simply using an example as @poetryandoceans did in her post.
You're disrespectful and the comment was unnecessary, bottom line. Trust me, if anything my divorce has empowered me beyond measure and taken away any "insecurities" I may have once had. with that being said, I'm already upset with myself for giving you any amount of time on such a disrespectful comment and I'm choosing to not even bat an eye lash over what you said beyond this point.
My fffc is that my husband is going to england tomorrow for a stag do (bachelor party) & much as i will miss him, i am also looking forward to having the weekend to myself, doing nothing, binge watching netflix & starfishing out in the bed with all the pillows!
@Janefelicity It has been so hot here that I have had to abandon my pregnancy pillow for the time being, as a queen bed is not big enough for me, my husband, and my pillow to sleep without getting sticky and sweaty. I would kill for my husband to go away so I could go back to cuddling my boyfriend, as my snoogle has been affectionately dubbed.
@poetryandoceans I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through! And I in no way was talking about you at all, that sounds awful and you're absolutely right that parenting decisions are a huge deal and definitely should be reflected upon and discussed. The issue is when someone who got divorced because her and her husband didn't make time to spend together tells a group of women that they are parenting their children unhealthily because they don't leave them overnight. If she had just stated that we should make time for ourselves and our marital relationships because it would benefit us greatly, no one would be upset, the issue is we were called unhealthy parents and that is where the projection is coming from.
Lol! Yeah.... Let's blow this waaaaay up ;;insert eye roll:: that is not WHY I got divorced FFS, nor do I need to defend or elaborate. My God! Go back to your perfect marriage and life, because clearly you must have one to be so judgey judgey on a teeny bit of a comment from a much bigger conversation. Puke. I was using one tiny component. Again, for the eight millionth time, nobody was called an unhealthy parent, we have established that. Comprehension is tuff sometimes, I get it.
I'm pretty sure it's *tough*, I could be wrong though since I have low comprehension skills
Yeah, I get it. I was making it more simple for you to understand. I find it hard to believe that anyone with any class would find it ok to say what you said about ones misfortune of a divorce. Your comment was rude, so I was showing the same "respect". I would NEVER make a comment as you did about someone's past or be insensitive over a divorce, especially one that clearly had children involved. You don't know my story, you have no clue. I wasn't even trying to share my story of divorce on you or anyone else, just simply using an example as @poetryandoceans did in her post.
You're disrespectful and the comment was unnecessary, bottom line. Trust me, if anything my divorce has empowered me beyond measure and taken away any "insecurities" I may have once had. with that being said, I'm already upset with myself for giving you any amount of time on such a disrespectful comment and I'm choosing to not even bat an eye lash over what you said beyond this point.
I come from a broken home and I would never make light of the impact of divorce, it has impacted me in irreversible ways, I didn't pretend to know your story either , you are the one who said that you and your ex didn't take enough time with each other because it was all about the kids. I didn't try to know your story you already told it..... You're the one who got on here and judged/disrespected/projected onto everyone on this board. Soooo......
@poetryandoceans I'm so sorry for everything you've had to go through! And I in no way was talking about you at all, that sounds awful and you're absolutely right that parenting decisions are a huge deal and definitely should be reflected upon and discussed. The issue is when someone who got divorced because her and her husband didn't make time to spend together tells a group of women that they are parenting their children unhealthily because they don't leave them overnight. If she had just stated that we should make time for ourselves and our marital relationships because it would benefit us greatly, no one would be upset, the issue is we were called unhealthy parents and that is where the projection is coming from.
Lol! Yeah.... Let's blow this waaaaay up ;;insert eye roll:: that is not WHY I got divorced FFS, nor do I need to defend or elaborate. My God! Go back to your perfect marriage and life, because clearly you must have one to be so judgey judgey on a teeny bit of a comment from a much bigger conversation. Puke. I was using one tiny component. Again, for the eight millionth time, nobody was called an unhealthy parent, we have established that. Comprehension is tuff sometimes, I get it.
I'm pretty sure it's *tough*, I could be wrong though since I have low comprehension skills
Yeah, I get it. I was making it more simple for you to understand. I find it hard to believe that anyone with any class would find it ok to say what you said about ones misfortune of a divorce. Your comment was rude, so I was showing the same "respect". I would NEVER make a comment as you did about someone's past or be insensitive over a divorce, especially one that clearly had children involved. You don't know my story, you have no clue. I wasn't even trying to share my story of divorce on you or anyone else, just simply using an example as @poetryandoceans did in her post.
You're disrespectful and the comment was unnecessary, bottom line. Trust me, if anything my divorce has empowered me beyond measure and taken away any "insecurities" I may have once had. with that being said, I'm already upset with myself for giving you any amount of time on such a disrespectful comment and I'm choosing to not even bat an eye lash over what you said beyond this point.
Lol! The only one being rude here is you. @lap018 made an observation about you using her comprehension skillz and you're blowing it entirely out proportion. You have made numerous undeserved insulting comments towards her. I think you need to take the advice you were given earlier and calm your tits.
I would just like to say that we all have very different backgrounds and experiences. Obviously NO ONE has a perfect life. @lap018 has recently experienced a loss, and @Jlk2016 you have been divorced and it has had a great personal impact to you.
In other news, @homemake I 100% cannot wait until I can feel that I look pregnant, not fat! It is very discouraging, as I was working very hard on my fitness pre-BFP, and that has been majorly derailed.
My FFFC is that I love to love tit posts for support purposes, and then I worry that people will think I'm happy they are having a hard time. So sometimes I go back and remove it. Basically, I overanalyze life and love-tits.
My FFFC: I'm feeling super insecure about my body these days. Give me a few more weeks and a more definable bump and I'll be in a better mindset.
If it makes you feel any better me too. I am a chubby person, but one thing that I had was a small waist most of my weight is on the butt and thighs, but now I am gaining wait in my waist.... bahh. I cannot wait till it looks like I am prego instead of just being fat.
We'll get there! This is my second time and I can't remember feeling this way with my first but I'm sure I did and only remember the good belly parts.
Also for tension relieving purposes, in the form of a PSA:
Ladies, when you go for your anatomy scan, and you do that last pee before you start your hold, also try really hard to poop. Because I just realized that I have to poop so bad, and I'm not sure if I have the muscle control to do one and not the other.
Pregnancy is such a magical time in a woman's body.
In other news, @homemake I 100% cannot wait until I can feel that I look pregnant, not fat! It is very discouraging, as I was working very hard on my fitness pre-BFP, and that has been majorly derailed.
My FFFC is that I love to love tit posts for support purposes, and then I worry that people will think I'm happy they are having a hard time. So sometimes I go back and remove it. Basically, I overanalyze life and love-tits.
@WinchesterGirl I love-tited your post about overanalyzing love-tits because I also over-analyze love-tits, and then wondered if my love-tit conveyed that message.
With my DD, we never left her with anyone. I went back to work when she was 4 months old and just wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Well, that marriage didn't work out. Not *because* we never had any alone time. There were a lot of problems. But I don't think it helped anything either. So this time around it will be different. DH and I will get more kid-free time and date nights. Since meeting him, I've let my mom have DD for a sleepover every Friday night. Half of those nights our stepkids are with us, but on the others we ALWAYS make it a date night. And we also get babysitters sometimes to get out. So I do think it's important. But I can also understand how some mothers have a hard time leaving their babies, and I was one of them!
I was told empty bladder for any ultrasounds thank goodness. Sounds terrible to have all that poking with a full bladder. I didn't leave T ( my daughter but I'm tired of typing DD) overnight until she was 2, and that was the hardest thing for me. Now this past year I went away for a weekend with friends, since getting knocked up I've sent her to my moms almost every Friday night for a sleepover. And I'm already planning on most likely leaving this little one for another moms weekend away in May. From one extreme to the next.
I work AND I leave my kid for decent periods of time with my husband when I go visit my hometown on short weekends. Sometimes we even leave her at daycare on Fridays when we're both off early so we can go do stuff without her. Like today, we went to BRU to check out some new baby gear, got lunch, and went to Home Depot for paint samples. And we got donuts.
But I don't think you suck if you don't do one or both. We are all just trying to do the best we can here. I could not care less what people do with their kids as long as they are not endangering them or my kids.
My FFFC is that people shouldn't post shit in the FFFC if they can't handle people disagreeing or giving their own opinion on what was said. This is a forum with many strong opinions and personalities, and we are all going to disagree. Thats fine. However, I personally will draw the line at making blanket statements about what parenting decisions are healthy or not, and calling people classless.
My FFFC is that I no longer wear pants or a bra at home. As soon as I get home from work my work clothes and bra come off and I put on shorts and a tank top.
Me: 33 | DH: 34 Married: October, 19, 2015 EDD 2/22/17 DS1 born on 3/2/17 EDD 3/8/20 DS2 born on 3/10/20 EDD 11/24/23 (Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
My FFFC is that I no longer wear pants or a bra at home. As soon as I get home from work my work clothes and bra come off and I put on shorts and a tank top.
I do this even when not pregnant. Is this not normal? Haha
My FFFC is that I no longer wear pants or a bra at home. As soon as I get home from work my work clothes and bra come off and I put on shorts and a tank top.
I do this even when not pregnant. Is this not normal? Haha
Me too, I was thinking the same thing. But since I already admitted to not wearing underwear whenever possible I wasn't going to say anything haha
I used to remove my bra when getting home after a long summer's day, and if I was wearing a particularly underwire-y one. Now I peel it off as the door closes, no matter the weather or if I've only had it on for 20 minutes.
I would prolly leave my kid with my ILs more if they weren't the biggest pain in the ass. Also my kid hates it there. Today I asked him if he wanted to go to grandmas for me to nap and he was like "no she's poop"
My AS was all good in the hood. Kiddo had apparently taken off the raspberry beret though... I will have to get on knitting one.
But what's it packing?????
Some sick yoga skills??? Kid is a future contortionist.
We had the tech write the sex in the report but not tell us. We're about to see some pretty nosy in-laws, and being able to honestly tell them we don't know, in order to not get a bazillion "future ladykiller" or "daddy's little princess" onesies*, ended up being the most important thing in the moment.
We're gonna find out at one of the boring appointments near the end, I think.
*If that's people's thing, that's cool, I just don't want that stuff being projected onto my kid while it's still in utero...
My AS was all good in the hood. Kiddo had apparently taken off the raspberry beret though... I will have to get on knitting one.
But what's it packing?????
Some sick yoga skills??? Kid is a future contortionist.
We had the tech write the sex in the report but not tell us. We're about to see some pretty nosy in-laws, and being able to honestly tell them we don't know, in order to not get a bazillion "future ladykiller" or "daddy's little princess" onesies*, ended up being the most important thing in the moment.
We're gonna find out at one of the boring appointments near the end, I think.
*If that's people's thing, that's cool, I just don't want that stuff being projected onto my kid while it's still in utero...
You should have them fax it to me so I know for you.
Just catching up. I'd like to thank you ladies for not disappointing.
Also here to say +1 for team Common Sense on parenting "styles".
My FFFC: wtf is a "parenting style" anyway. Those aren't real and I half believe they're endorsed my corporations to sell products (namely to innocent FTMs who have never seen Vietnam).
I thought of a few more. One being that I was feeling pretty jealous of my ex bf and his new wife. So shallow. Since I don't have Facebook, my cousin was showing me pictures on hers that he had posted of their recent wedding. He looks SO good and so does she. He looks even better than when we were together (he's a personal trainer nowadays) and she looks like the girl from the Transformers movie lol It's not just the amazing looks, it's that I started reminiscing about how much fun we had together. Those were some damn good times and he was always really good to me too. Then I felt insta guilt for even giving it a second thought.
I also find find myself feeling real envious of a woman who is my neighbor currently. She just goes to work and other than that just does her own thing when she wants and how she wants. Keeping it simple, just relaxing and enjoying life at her own pace. Free to pursue her own interests and not trapped by time/financial constraints. Wow what a selfish, ungrateful, green eyed monster I am lately lol
I'm a little late with my FFFC, but the other day, I found out that one of my sisters is pregnant. And I feel guilty for not being happy for her. This would be her 5th child and honestly she does not take care of her children well. And by that I mean, she's neglectful and borderline abusive. ( Needless to say, I keep my distance from her.) Ughhhh it just makes me so mad!
Re: FFFC 8/26
I was using one tiny component.
Again, for the eight millionth time, nobody was called an unhealthy parent, we have established that. Comprehension is tuff sometimes, I get it.
As a little thing (under 8 months or so) my daughter had several overnights with her grandparents. Her first she was 3 weeks old (My sister got married, my inlaws and DH wanted to help me relax and enjoy an incredibly rare visit with my extended family **think our wedding and my sisters** my moms cousins came from all over, very very small family). Granted I had a panic attack after the wine wore off but it was a very sweet gesture. They took for another wedding and that New Year's Eve. They will take her when this child is born.
We haven't had a need to leave her overnight for many months (but she hangs out with both sets of grandparents very often). Especially since this pregnancy ... We're treasuring our as a couple alone time while it's easier to get!
My husband is in medicine, though, and can read ultrasounds quite well. Kiddo might start off the scan by flashing us and take the decision out of our hands, because if he finds out and doesn't tell me, he will be sleeping on the couch until the kid is in college.
You're disrespectful and the comment was unnecessary, bottom line. Trust me, if anything my divorce has empowered me beyond measure and taken away any "insecurities" I may have once had. with that being said, I'm already upset with myself for giving you any amount of time on such a disrespectful comment and I'm choosing to not even bat an eye lash over what you said beyond this point.
I would just like to say that we all have very different backgrounds and experiences. Obviously NO ONE has a perfect life. @lap018 has recently experienced a loss, and @Jlk2016 you have been divorced and it has had a great personal impact to you.
Here is a barrel of puppies for tension purposes.
My FFFC is that I love to love tit posts for support purposes, and then I worry that people will think I'm happy they are having a hard time. So sometimes I go back and remove it. Basically, I overanalyze life and love-tits.
Ladies, when you go for your anatomy scan, and you do that last pee before you start your hold, also try really hard to poop. Because I just realized that I have to poop so bad, and I'm not sure if I have the muscle control to do one and not the other.
Pregnancy is such a magical time in a woman's body.
Also that PSA made me LOL.
What I'm saying is, I feel you.
I didn't leave T ( my daughter but I'm tired of typing DD) overnight until she was 2, and that was the hardest thing for me. Now this past year I went away for a weekend with friends, since getting knocked up I've sent her to my moms almost every Friday night for a sleepover. And I'm already planning on most likely leaving this little one for another moms weekend away in May.
From one extreme to the next.
But I don't think you suck if you don't do one or both. We are all just trying to do the best we can here. I could not care less what people do with their kids as long as they are not endangering them or my kids.
This is a forum with many strong opinions and personalities, and we are all going to disagree.
Thats fine.
However, I personally will draw the line at making blanket statements about what parenting decisions are healthy or not, and calling people classless.
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
I ignored my family to read this book club book.
I would prolly leave my kid with my ILs more if they weren't the biggest pain in the ass. Also my kid hates it there. Today I asked him if he wanted to go to grandmas for me to nap and he was like "no she's poop"
I didn't disagree.
We had the tech write the sex in the report but not tell us. We're about to see some pretty nosy in-laws, and being able to honestly tell them we don't know, in order to not get a bazillion "future ladykiller" or "daddy's little princess" onesies*, ended up being the most important thing in the moment.
We're gonna find out at one of the boring appointments near the end, I think.
*If that's people's thing, that's cool, I just don't want that stuff being projected onto my kid while it's still in utero...
Also here to say +1 for team Common Sense on parenting "styles".
My FFFC: wtf is a "parenting style" anyway. Those aren't real and I half believe they're endorsed my corporations to sell products (namely to innocent FTMs who have never seen Vietnam).
I also find find myself feeling real envious of a woman who is my neighbor currently. She just goes to work and other than that just does her own thing when she wants and how she wants. Keeping it simple, just relaxing and enjoying life at her own pace. Free to pursue her own interests and not trapped by time/financial constraints. Wow what a selfish, ungrateful, green eyed monster I am lately lol
( Needless to say, I keep my distance from her.) Ughhhh it just makes me so mad!
Come at me.
I'm not ready to be just Mom.