@drmh22 I tried. Originally she was coming August 26 - September 22. We got her down to 2 weeks from almost a full month. My husband feels bad that it's stressing me out so much but feels like we already got her down quite a bit so he doesn't want to argue with her even more. She likes me now but I think after the 2 weeks are over she may not anymore.
@AshleyB09042015 I don't know if this will help at all, but I had a brilliant boss who gave me some advice once, and it helps me a lot.
He said worrying is a waste of time for two reasons. 1. If you worry about something and it happens, you've put yourself through trauma twice. Once, when you were thinking about how awful it would be, and once when it actually happened. 2. If you worry about something, and it doesn't happen, you've wasted your time. AND, you've still made yourself suffer.
I know that this, in no way, will fix your anxiety, but the more I put it in my head, the more it seems to help me.
Beyond that, if you feel yourself getting extremely anxious when your MIL is visiting, I hope your husband will back you up.
Your anxiety is real, but it may be exacerbated by your pregnancy. You might want to bring it up with your doctor.
@drmh22 I tried. Originally she was coming August 26 - September 22. We got her down to 2 weeks from almost a full month. My husband feels bad that it's stressing me out so much but feels like we already got her down quite a bit so he doesn't want to argue with her even more. She likes me now but I think after the 2 weeks are over she may not anymore.
@AshleyB09042015 Wow, I could not imagine a full month of my MIL living in our house. Glad you were at least able to get her to tamp it down a bit. I can see that your H probably feels like he's stuck between a rock and a hard place, understandably so. But you also need to make him understand that because she is staying for 2 weeks, you need him to be your rock and back you up. Yes, there are probably times where you're going to sound unreasonable and emotional, but you're going to be a new mom! Whatever rules or plans you make, make sure he's 100% on board and that he'll be there to back you up if MIL gets her back up about it. If she needs a reminder that she is a guest in your home and therefore has to abide by the house rules, he should be the one to assert that. It's a team effort all around. Creepy internet hugs all around.
@MrsVoorhees e is 20 months and still wants to eat shampoo, lotion etc. During diaper changes I let him hold a tube of cream/ointment... sometimes he rubs it on his belly, otherwise he puts his mouth on the opening and tries to squeeze it. Wtf kid?!
Thanks dude! I was all worried she had a deficiency or something haha!
@AshleyB09042015 I don't think you're being overly hormonal at all. I thought I was going to want tons of help after LO1 was born and my mom and sister both suffered PPD. When LO was born it was weird- I just instantly turned into a mom and was totally on my game and knew exactly what to do for LO and didn't need much help (aside from DH) at all. My mom stayed with us for 3-4 days after we got home from the hospital with the intention of staying as long as we needed her. But she noticed too how well we were adjusting and even commented on how she felt being there was unnecessary. Obviously different for you since she traveling so can't just go home, but you may notice once your "mama bear" side is showing you may just need to look at her intently with a firm voice of how you want things to be and she'll get it (hopefully). There were moments when I was holding him and my mom would say "do you want me to take him so you can shower/nap/walk around/etc" And I was just like "Nope, I'm good thanks! Enjoying bonding with him!" You can also put her to work! Laundry, cooking, running errands, etc all the things you can't do bc you are too busy bonding and feeding your newborn. And I 100% agree with you on having you and your DH be the only ones that feed the baby at least in the first few months. The daddy/baby bonding over a bottle is really important! I exclusively BF'd for about 4 months before DH was gave baby a bottle and once he was able to do that it was magical how much they bonded over it!
@frogdog06@yellowrose314 I just went and checked the packaging again. It is distilled witch hazel and says it's a topical astringent. I noticed that it has ethyl alcohol listed as an inactive ingredient, maybe that is why it is contraindicated?
Im beginning to think I somehow bought the wrong stuff
@geminigirl16 Ohhh I've never seen that type before... I got the alcohol free stuff. The bottle's at my mom's otherwise I'd send you a picture, but I believe it's the Thayer's witch hazel w/ aloe vera and alcohol free. Smells lovely.
@AshleyB09042015 I also felt this way awhile ago. My mom was trying to encourage a baby shower for after the baby's arrival so everyone could come meet the baby. I told her I didn't want people holding him and she kept saying "trust me, you'll want anyone to take him off your hands" (she had pretty bad undiagnosed post partum depression and hated the newborn stage and constantly tells me I will too). I just couldn't see myself handing my baby off to random people. My mom is also going to be in town after the birth for a few weeks, but I told her H is taking two weeks off work and we want to figure things out just the two of us. THANK GOODNESS she was okay with this and understood or else I'd be having severe anxiety over that as well. I don't think what you're feeling is uncommon!
Listen, I did not have PPD but I hated the newborn stage. And I wouldn't have wanted my baby passed around at a post-baby shower. I'm not high anxiety, but deciding against bringing a newborn to a party is NOT unreasonable.
Crap! Now what do I do with that bottle?! At least I read the fine print before using it... Thanks for weighing in ladies, I'll pick up another alcohol free bottle.
It sounds like you definitely have a high level of anxiety. I would be open about that with your OB and eventually your pediatrician, because they'll be looking for signs of post partum anxiety and depression.
I think anyone staying at your home for weeks will expect to be helping out with cooking and cleaning, but I would think she's expecting to change some diapers and hold the baby as well. I would let her know now that you're experiencing some anxiety around that and you may be asking for some space. You can blame it on pregnancy hormones if that eases the social tension. On the one hand, I feel like she's obviously there with good intentions and you'll having bigger things to worry about than picking fights with your MIL, but on the other hand, you need to do what makes you most comfortable.
I had a difficult recovery and we had a revolving door of grandparents in and out for a month. I thought it was a good amount of time, to be honest. Hopefully she'll cook you dinner every night and prove her worth lol!
Anyone else's LO like to eat shampoo?? She's almost 2. Every time she takes a bath, I put the soap on her and she licks it off her arms lol
Not bath soap (because the bath is already full of hot lava, obviously, or at least that's how she acts.) but she does eat the soap in bubbles containers. She dips the wand and just sucks on that.
But don't worry, if I put a plate of actual food in front of her she says, "That's garbage"....so...you know, she has a very refined pallet.
First off, thanks to those who gave advice on how to talk to my friend's mom. For now, I'm leaving things alone so we can all cool off a bit, but it is my friend's birthday tomorrow, so I'm going to call her for that and to catch up. If the shower comes up, I'll go with the truth, nicely - that I didn't omit them intentionally and that I'm sorry that she and her mom were hurt.
Second, new question! Anyone have a good source for relatively cheap but still cute thank you cards? My mom found some adorable ones at Paper Source, but they're $12 for 10 cards...not my idea of a good deal.
Sorry I'm really late on this but I always order thank you post cards on Amazon super cheap and then the postage is even cheaper!
BTDT Moms: Would something like this be used for baby or would it just be in the way?
I would not use it. It would just be in the way here. I usually just do a blanket on the floor if I need to put baby down. I'd worry about baby rolling off of this.
BTDT Moms: Would something like this be used for baby or would it just be in the way?
I think it depends on what you want to use it for. If it's for tummy time and other supervised activities, maybe? But if it's for putting baby down even while you're just off getting something, eveb quickly, then I agree with @LeahKnits
Personally, I'm not one to have a bunch of things (even though I do for baby!) So I wouldn't have any use for it. When we're doing tummy time on the floor, we'll just use a blanket or boppy at first.
Those who have had scheduled c-sections: how long after the surgery did you get to BF and do skin to skin?
It wasn't long. I'm trying to remember exactly but things are a little hazy. E was born at 7:36. I did not hold her in the OR, although if I had wanted to they probably would have made that work. I was worried about seeing my insides and wanted to avoid that. We were out of OR by 930, although it could have been sooner. If I recall correctly I was able to do skin to skin and breastfeed with help from a nurse right away. I couldn't move my arms for a little bit while the epidural wore off but they put baby on my chest while they were standing there.
When I said right away I meant when we got back to the regular hospital room. We were there and I was in bed by 930.
@TheTamedShrew FTM, but my friend had her baby by c-section in July and she was able to hold her baby almost immediately. I think there was maybe 5-10 minutes under the light for elevated bilirubin count, but her DH was touching the baby for that part. She had her baby before leaving the OR and was taken to her room with baby on her chest.
@frogdog06 Lol!! That stuff is going no where near my vagina now that I know I bought the wrong stuff!! Ouch!!
I was having problems finding dermoplast locally so just bought a bottle on Amazon. It's shipping from the US (no Prime sadly) and says it won't be delivered until Aug 25 - Sept 1. I hope this baby stays inside until after it arrives!!
I did a search and didn't see something on this so I apologize if we've already discussed this.
What are key items that should be in a diaper bag? I just kind of realized that I will need 3-4 different diaper rash creams in random places (we will have two change tables, and possibly two diaper bags). So what do I absolutely need? Someone suggested I keep extra tops for DH and I just in case we need a change of clothing.
I know we had a baby clothes thread a while back, but in skimming it I didn't see clothing item quantities (sorry if I'm ending up with a re-post because of it!) MIL is asking how much more clothing we need for LO's arrival. Since we're team green, I'm expecting that people will end up buying us more clothing post-birth since they're holding off now, but I'm not sure what to ask for. We have:
NB 3mo 6mo Plus, 9 socks and 2 knit sweaters. Sleepers: 1 2 1
Onesies: 6 10 0
Thoughts on numbers? Not too worried about the 6 mo+ range yet, but I'd like to try to keep laundry to only every other day or so!
@Jabreen FTM so I really don't know but I would get at least 2 more sleepers in 3m. and probably 2-4 more onesis. I've had multiple people tell me that they go through 6 outfits a day on bad days so I would want to be prepared for that lol
@rock1cherry I think keeping extra shirts for you and DH is a bit over kill. I try to keep my diaper bag as light as possible. Remember, you are bringing this thing everywhere. And you also have to carry the baby. For a newborn I have 3 or 4 diapers, a small pack of wipes, a clean outfit (usually 1 piece pj's with feet) and a blanket that can be used as a nursing cover. I only bring things like diaper cream if I think we need it. I like to keep a different bag in the car with more diapers, wipes, extra clothes and blankets. Even with two changing tables, I would only get one diaper cream. It's not something you need or want to use all the time.
Oh, and an extra pacifier! I stick those everywhere. Diaper bag, my purse, in the car.
@Jabreen I like to have lots of onesies. Preferably the plain white comfy ones. But people don't usually gift those, because they are kind of boring. If I recall correctly I changed my newborns clothing on average three times a day. That includes changing them into pj's. I think planning to have 7 comfy outfits that baby fits into you'll be okay with only doing laundry every other day. Or longer. I would ask for baby gowns or sleep n plays ( I think that's what the zippered sleepers are called) otherwise you could end up with a pile of really cute and really uncomfortable clothes.
@jabreen You're probably good on onsies, but you'll definitely need more sleepers, especially if you plan to keep baby in them all the time in the beginning. I'd recommend 4-5 sleepers.
@Jabreen We had a lot of clothes given to us, so we have about 7 NB onesies, 10 NB sleepers, a few NB kimono tops, and 3-4 pairs of NB leggings, slightly more for 0-3 and 3-6 months.
Those who have had scheduled c-sections: how long after the surgery did you get to BF and do skin to skin?
No experience but at my baby friendly hospital, on the tour, it was mentioned that it's done right away. Mom gets to hold baby while she's being stitched up, unless there are complications.
Thank you @LeahKnits that makes sense! The whole purpose of two change tables is to make it easy on both levels of the house. But you're right, you won't need cream every time. Just want to ensure I have what I need!
I know we had a baby clothes thread a while back, but in skimming it I didn't see clothing item quantities (sorry if I'm ending up with a re-post because of it!) MIL is asking how much more clothing we need for LO's arrival. Since we're team green, I'm expecting that people will end up buying us more clothing post-birth since they're holding off now, but I'm not sure what to ask for. We have:
NB 3mo 6mo Plus, 9 socks and 2 knit sweaters. Sleepers: 1 2 1
Onesies: 6 10 0
Thoughts on numbers? Not too worried about the 6 mo+ range yet, but I'd like to try to keep laundry to only every other day or so!
I would do more sleepers in all sizes. I don't know where you are located, but by 6 month sizes, I would expect to want to be bundled up more. More sleepers (or long sleeved onsies with pants) for then.
I would say a minimum of three sleepers for NB. If you end up with a child who has reflux, you'll be doing more laundry or wanting more clothes for sure.
And I was team green last time and received the majority of my clothes after the baby was born.
I did a search and didn't see something on this so I apologize if we've already discussed this.
What are key items that should be in a diaper bag? I just kind of realized that I will need 3-4 different diaper rash creams in random places (we will have two change tables, and possibly two diaper bags). So what do I absolutely need? Someone suggested I keep extra tops for DH and I just in case we need a change of clothing.
Here's what we stocked our diaper bag with.... Diapers (duh) Wipes Portable changing pad Diaper cream burp cloth Bottles Dog poop bags (for dirty diapers and wet clothes) Spare baby outfit receiving or swaddling blanket
I put an extra outfit in the car, which worked fine. It was too much stuff to carry it around everywhere in the bag but it was nice to know it was there. Only needed it once or twice.
Re: Quick questions August
He said worrying is a waste of time for two reasons. 1. If you worry about something and it happens, you've put yourself through trauma twice. Once, when you were thinking about how awful it would be, and once when it actually happened.
2. If you worry about something, and it doesn't happen, you've wasted your time. AND, you've still made yourself suffer.
I know that this, in no way, will fix your anxiety, but the more I put it in my head, the more it seems to help me.
Beyond that, if you feel yourself getting extremely anxious when your MIL is visiting, I hope your husband will back you up.
Your anxiety is real, but it may be exacerbated by your pregnancy. You might want to bring it up with your doctor.
Good luck. Sending you creepy internet hugs.
I'm using the Earth Mama spray, but the hospital gave me a Medline jar of 100 pads of witch hazel/rroids/perineal care.
Im beginning to think I somehow bought the wrong stuff
It sounds like you definitely have a high level of anxiety. I would be open about that with your OB and eventually your pediatrician, because they'll be looking for signs of post partum anxiety and depression.
I think anyone staying at your home for weeks will expect to be helping out with cooking and cleaning, but I would think she's expecting to change some diapers and hold the baby as well. I would let her know now that you're experiencing some anxiety around that and you may be asking for some space. You can blame it on pregnancy hormones if that eases the social tension. On the one hand, I feel like she's obviously there with good intentions and you'll having bigger things to worry about than picking fights with your MIL, but on the other hand, you need to do what makes you most comfortable.
I had a difficult recovery and we had a revolving door of grandparents in and out for a month. I thought it was a good amount of time, to be honest. Hopefully she'll cook you dinner every night and prove her worth lol!
DS1 -- 9/30/2016
But don't worry, if I put a plate of actual food in front of her she says, "That's garbage"....so...you know, she has a very refined pallet.
This is us what I'm using (in combo with ibuprofen and Tylenol) and I'm healing up okay:
Personally, I'm not one to have a bunch of things (even though I do for baby!) So I wouldn't have any use for it. When we're doing tummy time on the floor, we'll just use a blanket or boppy at first.
When I said right away I meant when we got back to the regular hospital room. We were there and I was in bed by 930.
I was having problems finding dermoplast locally so just bought a bottle on Amazon. It's shipping from the US (no Prime sadly) and says it won't be delivered until Aug 25 - Sept 1. I hope this baby stays inside until
after it arrives!!
What are key items that should be in a diaper bag? I just kind of realized that I will need 3-4 different diaper rash creams in random places (we will have two change tables, and possibly two diaper bags). So what do I absolutely need? Someone suggested I keep extra tops for DH and I just in case we need a change of clothing.
NB 3mo 6mo Plus, 9 socks and 2 knit sweaters.
Sleepers: 1 2 1
Onesies: 6 10 0
Thoughts on numbers? Not too worried about the 6 mo+ range yet, but I'd like to try to keep laundry to only every other day or so!
I've had multiple people tell me that they go through 6 outfits a day on bad days so I would want to be prepared for that lol
Oh, and an extra pacifier! I stick those everywhere. Diaper bag, my purse, in the car.
If I recall correctly I changed my newborns clothing on average three times a day. That includes changing them into pj's. I think planning to have 7 comfy outfits that baby fits into you'll be okay with only doing laundry every other day. Or longer.
I would ask for baby gowns or sleep n plays ( I think that's what the zippered sleepers are called) otherwise you could end up with a pile of really cute and really uncomfortable clothes.
I would say a minimum of three sleepers for NB. If you end up with a child who has reflux, you'll be doing more laundry or wanting more clothes for sure.
And I was team green last time and received the majority of my clothes after the baby was born.
Diapers (duh)
Wipes
Portable changing pad
Diaper cream
burp cloth
Bottles
Dog poop bags (for dirty diapers and wet clothes)
Spare baby outfit
receiving or swaddling blanket
I put an extra outfit in the car, which worked fine. It was too much stuff to carry it around everywhere in the bag but it was nice to know it was there. Only needed it once or twice.