Just dropping in to say hi! Had our annual giant, summer BBQ blow out bash craziness. Started at 3. Eight billion people came through. It's after ten and there are still about 15 people drinking on the patio. I'm going to bed. Luckily Reese should sleep as she ran around like crazy all afternoon. FX!
I think I might be having a small pre-baby emotional crisis. Anyone else?
I'm super excited for this baby, but today I had a lot of quiet anxiety all day long. I'm TERRIFIED as much as I am ecstatic. I'm a FTM and suddenly the idea of being in charge of a tiny human's wellbeing is horrifyingly scary as well as enormously incredible.
Even though I'm partially scared out of my wits, I'm so excited and very much looking forward to LO becoming a part of our lives. I'm just suddenly in freak-out mode as the reality of how close this all is finally ringing the bells in my brain.
I need a hug, and a massage, and a shopping spree. I don't know why I need that last thing. I just do.
@Bibliobebe Sending you virtual Internet hugs! And I wanted to let you know you are not alone. FTMs unite! From what I can tell, anxiety is super normal right now. It is a huge change and adjustment for us! We might seem strange if we didn't feel anxious/nervous IMO.
I hope you treat yourself to that massage and shopping spree!!!
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
@Bibliobebe You are absolutely not alone. I've been finding that I'm having the same thing happen to me, FTM as well. So much going on and to prepare for, and the reality that we're going to have a tiny human to take care of in a matter of weeks sometimes takes my breath away, in a good and terrifying way. Lots of hugs for you, go treat yourself and try and take solace in the knowledge that you are absolutely not alone feeling like this.
Was going to post this on the Baby Shower thread but it's so happy over there I didn't want to spoil that vibe... and I'm still pissed about this, can't wait till Monday BF. My mom and friend who are planning our baby shower FINALLY nailed down a venue (apparently every one and their dog is having a baby in September where I live and everywhere was booked up!). We picked our date based on DH's work schedule, and my cousin's; she's going through a really bad divorce right now, and said she would be in town for a week from Aug 18-25. So we planned the shower for the 21st, let her know, and she was super excited. Because it was so short notice after booking the venue, and the fact that the Canadian postal system is kind of screwy right now, my mom personally called everyone we invited to the baby shower, and made a Facebook event. Literally 30 minutes after we made the event on FB, my aunt (my cousins mom) sends me this message: "Hey, if you moved the shower to the 17th, Cousin and I could both be there! We are flying back home on the 18....so we'll both miss the shower on the 21st." I'm pissed, because I specifically asked them when they would be here so we could involve them, because I'm close with my cousin and this aunt, and really wanted them to be able to be here for the shower. And also, they knew we were struggling to find a venue, so to ask us to just up and change the date to me is incredibly selfish and rude. As much as I want them to be here, I asked them for a good date, they gave me one and we worked with that; they decided to change their dates to visit. And then to top it all off I got an angry call from my grandmother that I was being rude by not involving my aunt and cousin... I'm about ready to flip a table I'm so mad. Someone please tell me I'm not the a-hole here...
@yellowrose314 I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. They already have you the dates when you specifically asked when they would be there. It's not your fault if they changed their plans. I think I would just simply reiterate whenever it was brought up that you were specifically told that they would be there the 18-25 and even though you had trouble finding a venue when out of the way to choose a date in that time frame. Personally I feel they are being incredibly rude to have changed their travel plans and then expect you to rearrange an entire event just for their convenience.
@yellowrose314 you are definitely not being an a hole. You asked them for some good dates and did what you could to make sure they could make it to your shower, if their dates that they were coming into town changed they should have let you know. Sorry your having to deal with that, definitely some unnecessary stress.
FWIW my ratio of scarred:excited has shifted to more scared the second time. It's not reflection on how much I want to have the baby or will love the baby, it's just an admission that it's going to be really hard and super shitty sometimes.
There's just so many unknowns. It's normal to fear the unknown.
@yellowrose314 tell them that you'd be more than happy to Skype the event and have your grandma hold the camera so no detail is missed.
Seriously people can be so selfish when it comes to events that don't revolve around them, I wish they'd just suck it up and put a smile on their face!! Sorry they can't do that for you
@Bibliobebe echoing everyone else in that your feelings are valid and normal. In some ways I'm much more relaxed this time around and in some ways a lot more nervous.
@yellowrose314 you are completely in the right here! Does gramma know how much you in fact DID try to accomodate your cousin? If so I can't believe she would lash out ar you like that. Not your fault at all!
So, some of you might remember DS and I were in a car accident on memorial day. Well, a few days ago DH got involved in another accident (AGAIN another car hit ours while stuck in traffic). Only this time it was a semi truck that literally scraped off the side of my poor car and ruined the tire/rim.
You guys, I think it's totalled. We'll know for sure sometime this week. Here's my question - if it is indeed totalled we are talking about waiting to get another vehicle until November (I have some stock vesting so we could buy a newer vehicle cash). I really dont want to have a car payment if we can avoid it. Am I crazy for thinking I won't need a car for 3 months? Of course we still have DHs, but he works a gazillion hours a week an hour away, so it wouldn't be super available to me. I figure I can rent one for a day or two if I really need one? How much do you need to leave your house anyway with a 2YO and newborn?
@Shiva14 I'm a FTM so I can't answer for your situation, but my DH and I have only one car and plan to keep it that way. We also work at the same place so regularly it doesn't make much sense to have two cars. We are going to try to make one work for as long as we can. We work pretty close though and we only work 40 hours a week. That said, if baby and I have appointments then we will either drop him off at work and then go or we will rent a car for a day here and there and he will drive that car. That's our plan for the moment. And we can adjust based on how it goes. But I know our circumstances are much different.
@rock1cherry that sounds doable to me, especially if he works regular hours. I wish public transportation was better where we are, that sure would make it easier.
@shiva14 I was going to ask about public transportation but you kind of mentioned it in your last post. Could it be used occasionally like for appointments? Is there any way that for appointments, you could drop DH off at work and go to the appointment and hang out at a friends place the rest of the day or something? Not sure where DHs work is in relation to baby's Doctor. We have 2 cars but one I absolutely hate. It doesn't have AC and is a 2 door and I just can't imagine it with a newborn. But we are 45 minutes from town (where my H works) and even though I'll have an extra car at home, the plan is to go in to town with him for appointments then go to my friends house who also has a newborn. However, might be different for you because you also have a 2 YO. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable being home without a car BUT that's because I'm 70 km from a major city and there's no transportation there.
@bibliobebe Completely normal although I know how crappy it can feel. I had a major anxiety attack a few weeks ago about caring for a baby. I don't know anything and we are out of town isolated from friends and only have Hs mom nearby to help (and she freaks out easily about stuff so don't know how helpful she'd be if baby had a fever or something). I just can't fathom that the care of another human will be in our hands and it stresses me out. Internet hugs!!!
@yellowrose314 I don't think you're being unreasonable. You asked when worked to accommodate them and it didn't end up working. I know you'll be disappointed if they aren't there, but know that you tried your best! and if you message everyone again with a new date (if you could even get one with no venues open), that could get hella confusing and people might show up the wrong day, etc.
@RG1 if it's totalled we wouldn't be able to keep it since we have a loan on it (with gap insurance thank goodness) unless we wanted to keep paying it off which would not be a good decision. I wouldn't feel safe putting a child in it - two of the doors have been shifted from the frame and don't close all the way and it is currently on a donut.
I think we'd try to schedule appointments on DHs days off since I don't want to juggle a newborn and 2yo by myself at the doctors, so that shouldn't be an issue unless she needs an emergency appointment (which is my biggest worry).
DH usually works 10 hour days and sometimes gets home at 1 am so I wouldn't want to stay with someone all the time, but maybe for the occasional appointment. We do have family that lives 25-30 min away that could come if I needed a car for an emergency.
@RG1 if it's totalled we wouldn't be able to keep it since we have a loan on it (with gap insurance thank goodness) unless we wanted to keep paying it off which would not be a good decision. I wouldn't feel safe putting a child in it - two of the doors have been shifted from the frame and don't close all the way and it is currently on a donut.
I think we'd try to schedule appointments on DHs days off since I don't want to juggle a newborn and 2yo by myself at the doctors, so that shouldn't be an issue unless she needs an emergency appointment (which is my biggest worry).
DH usually works 10 hour days and sometimes gets home at 1 am so I wouldn't want to stay with someone all the time, but maybe for the occasional appointment. We do have family that lives 25-30 min away that could come if I needed a car for an emergency.
Oh yes totally get not wanting to keep the totalled car! Had just wondered if you'd get a car sooner. But that sounds totally doable if there is someone close by with a car in case of an emergency.
It's been several days since we've had a new baby pic and I'm going through withdrawals. I can't wait until the babies start coming closer together to see everyones new LOs and then once all the babes are here we can have picture threads. I love looking at new squishes.
@yellowrose314 I don't give a f--- who the people are; no one should ask for an event change on behalf of themselves. So selfish, so rude -- and especially after you took them well into consideration when selecting the date. Enjoy your shower, eat plenty of sweets, and I hope you receive lots of gifts.
@KimmySchmidt@bibliobebe I definitely flip flop between being excited and scared. Terrible headlines definitely don't help with the scared feelings. I'm also uber organized and typically prepared so the unknown of this baby (FTM here) totally throws me off.
@Shiva14 It sounds like you'll be alright to wait until November which really isn't too far away anyhow. You have options to get around if need be (in a dire non-emergency situation, Uber? Lyft?). Plus with Amazon Prime and all these grocery delivery services, you can totally hunker down. What vehicle are you thinking of getting??
@Shiva14 same here...I don't really get how our public transit works here. And our pediatrician is close so I could maybe cab it if I need to but I don't know how that works with a car seat.
Just dropping in to say hello! I've been loving tits but have been struggling to get through the days' posts and then another page would pop up. I agree that I'm ready for more baby pics so someone needs to have a baby or our new mommas need to post more pics of Isaac and Fin!
I'm getting tred of people telling me, "you're going to have your hands full!!!!" I freaking know that, and still decided I wanted my kids 2 years apart. They act like I can't handle it or something. I'll be fine. We will be fine. So shut it.
I'm feeling really guilty about how much money we spent on baby things. We discussed early on in the pregnancy that we wanted to get a lot of stuff new since we plan to have multiple kids and we want things that will hold up over time, which is more likely with new stuff. We bought basically everything we needed in May and ever since, people have been offering us hand me downs of things that wouldn't necessarily get worse over time (diaper bag, wraps, etc) but that we've already bought. Now that I'm getting close to maternity leave and the reality is hitting that our income will be decreased for a year, I'm starting to regret buying everything new and not being more savvy. Our friends had everything handed down to them (crib, changer, bassinette, even nursing bras) and haven't had to spend much money. I'm divided between being happy we have our own stuff we got to pick ourselves, and being guilty that money wasn't spent on something else. Not sure what I'm hoping to get out of telling you all this. Just feeling a bit down
@RG1 In consideration of a limited income, could you still return some of the purchased items?? If not, don't feel guilty during this time. The items are for LO and future LOs, and will surely last. Plus you'll have options if one thing doesn't work out and you and/or baby prefers the other item.
@MrsVoorhees that seems to be everyone's go to response for me too! They look at me chasing my one and 2 year old around and I want to say "as if I don't already have my hands full?" I think they are trying to be nice. But it's just kind of an obvious statement.
Married 6-1-13 Sebastian 3-11-14 Simon 5-2-15 Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
@RG1 In consideration of a limited income, could you still return some of the purchased items?? If not, don't feel guilty during this time. The items are for LO and future LOs, and will surely last. Plus you'll have options if one thing doesn't work out and you and/or baby prefers the other item.
Unfortunately we opened most of the stuff once deciding we did want it. We were overly excited first time parents lol. I feel better knowing we didn't go into debt over anything so that helps (I'd feel really guilty if we bought things we didn't necessarily need on credit and couldn't pay it off). Thanks for confirming the things will be good for future LOs and it gives us options depending on what baby prefers I hadn't thought of that point
@RG1 don't feel guilty, enjoy that you got to pick everything out for baby yourself, IMO it's part of the experience, at least the first time around. If you were needing to make payments on it that would be different, but it sounds like you guys were responsible and bought it up front.
@frogdog06 I have no idea! My current damaged car is a Jeep Patriot and I really like it so I might get something similar. On the other hand, DH has mentioned wanting a bigger car/truck in a few years, so I may just opt for a sedan (I don't want us to have two gas guzzlers). My BIL has a Nissan Ultima and there's a dealer near by that has a few 2014s in stock for a good price with low mileage. Of course the inventory will probably change between now and then.
@Shiva14 Thank you. It was really fun picking everything out! And we saved a lot of money in other places that I never thought I'd want to buy used (like cloth diapers)
@RG1 we did the same, and I also feel like it's too late to return anything. Trying to enjoy it instead of wasting my energy regretting it mostly for that reason, but I keep looking at our brand new crib/ glider/ clothes/ freaking everything and thinking.... This was not necessary. Not useful, but I'm another over excited FTM feeling your pain.
@Bibliobebe I just wanted to echo that you are not alone in how you are feeling right about now. I'm having daily struggles in how I feel. One day I feel like I have everything under control and the next I have no clue! Particularly I am having difficulty with the unknown - when will fhis baby arrive, will I be ready, how will I manage delivery, how will our lives change, how will my relationship be impacted, etc. Hugs to everyone all feeling the same way!
And randomly off topic: Man, do I miss pre-pregnancy sex!!
@RG1 we did the same, and I also feel like it's too late to return anything. Trying to enjoy it instead of wasting my energy regretting it mostly for that reason, but I keep looking at our brand new crib/ glider/ clothes/ freaking everything and thinking.... This was not necessary. Not useful, but I'm another over excited FTM feeling your pain.
Ahh glad we can commiserate with each other haha. I'm sure things might become necessary later, but I totally thought I needed a glider in the nursery. But my friend who just had a baby said she doesn't feed in the nursery, mainly because her baby is still in the bassinette. I'm sure once the baby is in the crib it makes sense. But we definitely could have spread out expenses and waited on certain things. Ahh well. Let's enjoy our new stuff
@MrsVoorhees I think it's just that people want SOMETHING to say. I'm out in the grocery store, VERY pregnant with 3 other kids and people will always say something "where are you gonna put the next one?!" Or "you're gonna be a busy mama!". My kids are all just over 2 years apart.
The unknowns are freaky, even for the veteran parents! I feel really unprepared and feel like the time is counting down too fast. We pretty much have clothes, a pack n play, car seat and a baby carrier for this kid. Rational me says I don't need much more than that (we're getting a swing this week) but irrational me is screaming that I need to buy all the things.
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
I just wanted to say that "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is such an awesome book! I am over a hundred pages in and have learned SO MUCH already about what to expect when it comes to birth and trying to breastfeed. I also understand more about why things happen the way they do so I am feeling a lot more prepared. I know I have a lot to learn but I hate feeling completely blind and ignorant so I definitely recommend! Super easy read!
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
What is going on with irishblessings? Did she GBCB or have a loss I'm so confused
Yeah, she got a tiny bit flamed for her tmi mucus plug post so she mad
Oh, come on! As if a GBCB isn't bad enough, she had to make a seperate post for it? I didn't necessarily agree with Aug16 that she was being a SS, but I sure do now.
Oh dear. I will never understand the need for GBCB posts. Just... Leave? No need to announce it.
We are buying all new car seats from the accident, and I mentioned it to my mom and she went on about how unnecessary it is, and it's a wonder my siblings and I "all survived". Old people annoy me, haha. There's a REASON they change the regulations. Plus I'll get reimbursed from insurance.
Wife to A; Mama to C (2009), N (2011), H (2014) & baby F due 09/16/16
I just read the Aug 2016 post. Anyone get the Fran reference? So they were flaming her for posting her question as a separate thread? It is tough because it has been mentioned in our Randoms thread that some of our posts should be their own threads....but maybe they don't know her since she was more active in Sept. 2016 board early on? I am torn with my feelings on this. The GBCB post makes me wanna say "Bye, Felicia" to her though.
Married: 3/21/15 First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
Re: August Randoms!!!
I'm super excited for this baby, but today I had a lot of quiet anxiety all day long. I'm TERRIFIED as much as I am ecstatic. I'm a FTM and suddenly the idea of being in charge of a tiny human's wellbeing is horrifyingly scary as well as enormously incredible.
Even though I'm partially scared out of my wits, I'm so excited and very much looking forward to LO becoming a part of our lives. I'm just suddenly in freak-out mode as the reality of how close this all is finally ringing the bells in my brain.
I need a hug, and a massage, and a shopping spree. I don't know why I need that last thing. I just do.
I hope you treat yourself to that massage and shopping spree!!!
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
My mom and friend who are planning our baby shower FINALLY nailed down a venue (apparently every one and their dog is having a baby in September where I live and everywhere was booked up!). We picked our date based on DH's work schedule, and my cousin's; she's going through a really bad divorce right now, and said she would be in town for a week from Aug 18-25. So we planned the shower for the 21st, let her know, and she was super excited.
Because it was so short notice after booking the venue, and the fact that the Canadian postal system is kind of screwy right now, my mom personally called everyone we invited to the baby shower, and made a Facebook event. Literally 30 minutes after we made the event on FB, my aunt (my cousins mom) sends me this message:
"Hey, if you moved the shower to the 17th, Cousin and I could both be there! We are flying back home on the 18....so we'll both miss the shower on the 21st."
I'm pissed, because I specifically asked them when they would be here so we could involve them, because I'm close with my cousin and this aunt, and really wanted them to be able to be here for the shower. And also, they knew we were struggling to find a venue, so to ask us to just up and change the date to me is incredibly selfish and rude. As much as I want them to be here, I asked them for a good date, they gave me one and we worked with that; they decided to change their dates to visit. And then to top it all off I got an angry call from my grandmother that I was being rude by not involving my aunt and cousin... I'm about ready to flip a table I'm so mad. Someone please tell me I'm not the a-hole here...
*edited b/c app ate part of my post
FWIW my ratio of scarred:excited has shifted to more scared the second time. It's not reflection on how much I want to have the baby or will love the baby, it's just an admission that it's going to be really hard and super shitty sometimes.
There's just so many unknowns. It's normal to fear the unknown.
Seriously people can be so selfish when it comes to events that don't revolve around them, I wish they'd just suck it up and put a smile on their face!! Sorry they can't do that for you
@yellowrose314 you are completely in the right here! Does gramma know how much you in fact DID try to accomodate your cousin? If so I can't believe she would lash out ar you like that. Not your fault at all!
So, some of you might remember DS and I were in a car accident on memorial day. Well, a few days ago DH got involved in another accident (AGAIN another car hit ours while stuck in traffic). Only this time it was a semi truck that literally scraped off the side of my poor car and ruined the tire/rim.
You guys, I think it's totalled. We'll know for sure sometime this week. Here's my question - if it is indeed totalled we are talking about waiting to get another vehicle until November (I have some stock vesting so we could buy a newer vehicle cash). I really dont want to have a car payment if we can avoid it. Am I crazy for thinking I won't need a car for 3 months? Of course we still have DHs, but he works a gazillion hours a week an hour away, so it wouldn't be super available to me. I figure I can rent one for a day or two if I really need one? How much do you need to leave your house anyway with a 2YO and newborn?
@bibliobebe Completely normal although I know how crappy it can feel. I had a major anxiety attack a few weeks ago about caring for a baby. I don't know anything and we are out of town isolated from friends and only have Hs mom nearby to help (and she freaks out easily about stuff so don't know how helpful she'd be if baby had a fever or something). I just can't fathom that the care of another human will be in our hands and it stresses me out. Internet hugs!!!
@yellowrose314 I don't think you're being unreasonable. You asked when worked to accommodate them and it didn't end up working. I know you'll be disappointed if they aren't there, but know that you tried your best! and if you message everyone again with a new date (if you could even get one with no venues open), that could get hella confusing and people might show up the wrong day, etc.
I think we'd try to schedule appointments on DHs days off since I don't want to juggle a newborn and 2yo by myself at the doctors, so that shouldn't be an issue unless she needs an emergency appointment (which is my biggest worry).
DH usually works 10 hour days and sometimes gets home at 1 am so I wouldn't want to stay with someone all the time, but maybe for the occasional appointment. We do have family that lives 25-30 min away that could come if I needed a car for an emergency.
DD 10/4/02
DS due 9/28/16
@KimmySchmidt @bibliobebe I definitely flip flop between being excited and scared. Terrible headlines definitely don't help with the scared feelings. I'm also uber organized and typically prepared so the unknown of this baby (FTM here) totally throws me off.
@Shiva14 It sounds like you'll be alright to wait until November which really isn't too far away anyhow. You have options to get around if need be (in a dire non-emergency situation, Uber? Lyft?). Plus with Amazon Prime and all these grocery delivery services, you can totally hunker down. What vehicle are you thinking of getting??
Sebastian 3-11-14
Simon 5-2-15
Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
@frogdog06 I have no idea! My current damaged car is a Jeep Patriot and I really like it so I might get something similar. On the other hand, DH has mentioned wanting a bigger car/truck in a few years, so I may just opt for a sedan (I don't want us to have two gas guzzlers). My BIL has a Nissan Ultima and there's a dealer near by that has a few 2014s in stock for a good price with low mileage. Of course the inventory will probably change between now and then.
fhis baby arrive, will I be ready, how will I manage delivery, how will our lives change, how will my relationship be impacted, etc. Hugs to everyone all feeling the same way!
And randomly off topic: Man, do I miss pre-pregnancy sex!!
kids are all just over 2 years apart.
The unknowns are freaky, even for the veteran parents! I feel really unprepared and feel like the time is counting down too fast. We pretty much have clothes, a pack n play, car seat and a baby carrier for this kid. Rational me says I don't need much more than that (we're getting a swing this week) but irrational me is screaming that I need to buy all the things.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years
We are buying all new car seats from the accident, and I mentioned it to my mom and she went on about how unnecessary it is, and it's a wonder my siblings and I "all survived". Old people annoy me, haha. There's a REASON they change the regulations. Plus I'll get reimbursed from insurance.
First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years