I had a male cashier ask me if I was dilated any yet and when they'd check to see if I am. Then he told me my husband should be able to feel if we had sex and recommended that we do just that. It's really mind blowing what people think is appropriate to say just because I'm pregnant. I thought my husband was going to lose it on that guy.
I just seriously laught out loud. I pictures my husband in this situation. He would have reacted the same way
@Curls919 my mom has reminded me after each of my 3 kids that she left the hospital with a flat as a washboard stomach. Uh, thanks mom. Especially this time. I'm 30 and just had my 3rd. She had one in her early 20s and that's it. No more comparing. Love how family especially thinks it's ok to say anything even remotely negative to a woman who recently gave birth.
I am still getting horror stories from complete strangers. Seriously, folks? Not what we need to hear. And it could cause serious psychological concerns that lead to a worse L&D experience.
@Stephanie7693 I have never left the hospital with a washboard stomach, not even after my first whom I had at 23 yrs. old. I am 35 and getting ready to have my 4th baby. I have no illusions about a perfect body in the near future!
People just don't know how to say anything nice, i just ignore all the damn comments i get from people now, because my smart mouth will just go off and nothing pretty will come out so i keep walking away. Everyone tells me I have a huge belly for my first baby, that pisses me off. iIwent off on someone the other day and was like "well not every women in this world has the same belly with the first born, so fuck off"
@Stephanie7693 I have never left the hospital with a washboard stomach, not even after my first whom I had at 23 yrs. old. I am 35 and getting ready to have my 4th baby. I have no illusions about a perfect body in the near future!
I had my first at 19 and still didn't have a flat stomach when I was discharged. Sometimes I wonder if she remembers correctly exactly when she got her flat stomach back
I think people tend to forget all that comes with babies when they become grandparents. My parents are always talking about how smart my sister was when she was little and how when she was 18 months old she would sing nursery rhymes. I call shenanigans because DD is really smart for her age but I've never met an 18 month old who can sing nursery rhymes.
Ugh, we had our neighbor over for dinner last night. He and DH have become friends but I am sort of ambivalent about the guy. He is one of those people who talks about all subjects as if he's knowledgeable about them, but after a while you get the feeling he's just full of shit. It gets worse when he has a few beers with my DH. Anyway...
I had made a joke about how DH is slimming down while I'm getting bigger and bigger. Our neighbor starts trying to tell me "While you may be gaining weight because of the baby, I can tell you're actually losing body fat by eating so healthy." Me: uh.. no, that is most definitely not the case, the losing fat part, or the eating "so healthy" part. But thanks, ha-ha. Neighbor: No, really, you are. I can tell. Your upper arms look a lot more toned and your face isn't getting all puffy like some women get. Me: "uuhhh.....ok...." (awkward silence) Neighbor: Well anyways, what I'm trying to say is you look good.
Like, can you just stop talking about my body right now, please? And trying to mansplain to me what's going on with me as if you know better than I do? I am quite familiar with my own body and what's happening to it, and even if you're trying to give me some kind of compliment, it just creeps me out that you seem to be looking at my body and taking notes. And this guy is not a doctor, personal trainer or any other qualified person to form such an opinion. Just mind your own business.
I second the parents not remembering things correctly. DD has been sleeping through the night since she was about 7ish months old. She will go through little spurts every once in a while of waking up in the middle of the night and crying for us. The last two weeks she's done it about four times with no explanation and screamed if we don't stay in the room until she falls back asleep. We're just assuming it's a faze and she'll grow back out of it. When DD was 3 months old my mom would say "you slept through the night since you were 6 weeks old". Doubtful, but possibly I guess. Now she's trying to tell me I never went through any fazes and I slept every single night through since 6 weeks. I just nodded, but really? I definitely don't think she's remembering clearly. I would be amazed to meet such a child.
I second the parents not remembering things correctly. DD has been sleeping through the night since she was about 7ish months old. She will go through little spurts every once in a while of waking up in the middle of the night and crying for us. The last two weeks she's done it about four times with no explanation and screamed if we don't stay in the room until she falls back asleep. We're just assuming it's a faze and she'll grow back out of it. When DD was 3 months old my mom would say "you slept through the night since you were 6 weeks old". Doubtful, but possibly I guess. Now she's trying to tell me I never went through any fazes and I slept every single night through since 6 weeks. I just nodded, but really? I definitely don't think she's remembering clearly. I would be amazed to meet such a child.
My mom tells me I slept through the night since 2 weeks old. I'm the oldest of four and she likes to talk about how easy I was compared to my siblings. But she also has a tendency to "invent" memories (it's a big family joke, actually), so I don't put much stock in it.
Some lady asked my friend if I was having twins yesterday. She responded with no, she's just really pregnant at this point.
A few weeks ago, I was walking into a store and some guy yelled "Hey, when are the twins due?" When I ignored him he said it again. Just to make sure I heard.
I really wish I had been quick enough on my feet to respond "August. When are yours due?"
I work in the same industry as my dad, with whom I've been estranged for 3 years.
We have a lot of mutual clients, vendors, etc. and yesterday was a doozy. I saw a 60 something woman who is a work acquaintance.
It it started out with the innocuous, when are you due type questions, must be hot and uncomfortable, and moved into how for the baby's sake I need to make amends with my dad, because he's such a nice person. "What if something were to happen to him? You would regret it."
Wish I could have said the truth: Uh, no. He needs to make amends with me. He's a messed up alcoholic, who married a psycho a year after my mom died. (Happily married to my mom for 37 years).
Mind your own business and don't give me advice! People have no idea of personal relationships. She totally laid on the guilt and I don't need that.
@Snaps816 ugh what a creeper! I can't stand when men comment on weight loss/body changes like that. It always seems like they think they're giving a compliment, when, in reality, it just comes off as rude and icky.
@Bookhousegirl I know! And I hate when they end the interaction by falling back on "I was trying to say you look good/give you a compliment" because then I end up having to say "thank you." And I don't want to say thank you to your creepy observations about my body!
I swear, some men just don't get it at all. This guy struggles to meet girls/date and I can see why -- he's not a bad person, but just wildly out of touch with women.
I don't think I've contributed to this particular thread yet, but my mom gave me a gem today. So here we go.
First off, I'm am neither for or against co-sleeping. We aren't planning on doing it it, but I don't knock those who do. My mom, however, is another story.
I casually mention during our daily phone call that a friend is finally weaning her almost 2 year old off of co-sleeping. I then make the comment that we could never co-sleep because both hubby and I are huge movers in our sleep and I'd be terrified one of us would injure the baby. She then proceeds to tell me that co-sleeping is illegal and my friends who practice it should be reported to CPS. I literally cannot make words for a good few seconds. I then proceed to tell her that I'm pretty sure it's not illegal. It's definitely frowned upon by the American Board of Pediatrics, but again, not illegal. I also informed her that I would not be reporting my friends to CPS for doing what they feel is right for their child. Thankfully our phone call ended almost immediately after this. She is one of those "I'm always right, even if I'm wrong" kind of people, so any further discussion would just be stressful for me.
I did, however, send her ample evidence to show that co-sleeping is, in fact, NOT illegal.
My MIL keeps telling me how easy her pregnancy with DH was. I've had a *really* tough one, and she can't figure out why.
She was 17. I'm 31. Just... you know... pretty much double the age she was. Not that she didn't face other challenges because of her youth, but I know *my* body was a lot healthier at 17. I think from a purely physical sense this might have been easier 10 years ago...
Today at Whole Foods (at the cookie bar, don't judge me), some sweet, well meaning old woman says to me: "are you going to have that baby right here?"
I...hope...not?
The sweet thing then proceeded to talk my ear off. In my mind, I am all, lady, I need these pecan sandies like yesterday so please let me goooo.
@Allisun85 I had my first at 19, my second (now) at almost 30... there's a WORLD of difference... this pregnancy was much harder on my body, so your suspicions about MIL are probably correct!
@Allisun85 I had my first at 19, my second (now) at almost 30... there's a WORLD of difference... this pregnancy was much harder on my body, so your suspicions about MIL are probably correct!
Stuck in box...
I had my first at 19, 2nd at 23, and turned 30 a month before having my 3rd. My third was my easiest pregnancy. But I did have pre e with my first, so that probably was the only reason she wasn't an easy pregnancy. So the good news is maybe your next pregnancy will be a piece of cake even though you will be older!
One of the professors at my job asked how much weight I've gained... My jaw dropped... he means well... he has 8 grand kids and is very excited about being able to watch this pregnancy. But still... wtf...
The next person who takes a look at my ridiculously pregnant stomach and asks, as though this is a question, "no baby yet?" is going to get throat punched. I know it's just semantics, but it's driving me crazy. CLEARLY the baby is not here yet.
@AnnaReid81 I'm totally with you! I ate my bagel and enjoyed my coffee this morning in a different tower of the hospital I work in before clocking in. I did this just to avoid my co-workers constantly saying "still here?!"
The ER triage nurse last night when I went in for bleeding from.the incision (pulled stitches) who commented on C-sections being painful and then said "I don't see why all these women have c-sections, just push that baby out"... um, because I had an 11 lb 5oz baby with a giant head, a 30 hour failed induction, and 18 hours of Pitocin contractions that did nothing, but yeah, I should have just squeezed it out.
Mine goes to the FIL who tends to have a dry sense of humor that of course, only he gets and laughs about.
He visited baby A last wknd and two things he said to me were:
1. Oh, you still look so swollen! 2. What if you get fired and end up not going back to work at all?
I pretended to be half asleep on the couch and covered my face with my hair just so he wouldn't see me making wtf faces (yes, more than one).
1. I am still in recovery mode you insensitive prick and am just getting around to taking care of myself. 2. That actually wouldn't happen realistically but thanks for bringing up my "think of the worst case scenarios" anxiety back up.
The ER triage nurse last night when I went in for bleeding from.the incision (pulled stitches) who commented on C-sections being painful and then said "I don't see why all these women have c-sections, just push that baby out"... um, because I had an 11 lb 5oz baby with a giant head, a 30 hour failed induction, and 18 hours of Pitocin contractions that did nothing, but yeah, I should have just squeezed it out.
Wow. I can't imagine she has had babies, or that she even knows how labor and birth work. Sounds like she is in the wrong line of work.
Went with my MIL to the baby fair going on today. Much to our surprise, we ran in to my mom there. (My mother hates how close MIL and I are, so she wasn't happy to see us) So, we walk around looking at the different vendors and my mom announces she is going to start doing hormone treatments so she can be a wet nurse. MIL and I thought she was joking but she kept insisting. So I finally asked her why. Her response was "Because then you'd have no excuse not to let me watch the baby." WTF?! I was absolutly speechless. MIL chimed in with "She doesn't need an excuse, You're bat shit crazy!" I still kept thinking she would tell us she was joking, but instead she got so offended that I wasnt on board with this ludicrous idea.
First time during this whole pregnancy that I've seriously missed alcohol.
Right?! DH has already said that he doesn't think the kids should be alone with her anymore. This will probably push him over the edge. The thing is, I wouldn't be surprised if she went ahead and did this behind our backs. I'm more than a little freaked out by her right now.
ETA: My best friend was EBF her baby the same time I was EBF DS. She had an emergency and had to be rushed to the hospital. I kept her son and with her permission, I nursed him that night. The next day she was home and able to resume nursing him. But the difference was that I was already lactating. It was an emergency. And she asked me to. But a grandmother purposefully planning something like this freaks me the hell out. End of rant. Thanks for letting me vent.
@lotsofsunshine holy cow, that would totally freak me out! My mom and I are very close, but there still needs to be some boundaries! It's one thing to do a favor for a friend, but I think what your mom is doing is way more extreme... Especially without your permission!
@lotsofsunshine Holy shit...and I thought my mother was too involved. This would scare the crap out of me. She does realize she is the grandmother not the mother right?
*TW Spoiler*
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks. 10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery 11/2/17 Twin A & B born 11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU Benched 6 months BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
@midwestbaby , I'm not sure she does. She was super overbearing with my first two. DH and I have set some serious boundaries over the past year and it seems to have made things worse. She's afraid (and she's right) that she wont be as involved with this baby. She just keeps making things worse for herself. Anyway... Thank you ladies for validating what I was feeling. I hoped I hadn't overreacted.
@lotsofsunshine, OMG, really? I am completely blown away by that. No. Just, no. If that were to be something you wanted, you asked her, and planned it, that's one thing. This kinda freaks me out, not gonna lie. I also laughed the shocked, "is this for real?" laugh when I first read it. I think your story trumps anything I have experienced!
@satto_takaiYes, every time I think about it, I do the "is this real?" laugh. I mean, I always thought she was a little crazy, but now I'm pretty sure we need to encourage her to seek help. I'm beyond freaked out. And sorta pissed that she thought I could even been a little ok with that. Oh well, just makes setting stricter boundries an even easier decision for us to make.
last week i was walking down the hallway at work and a male co- worker decided greeting me with "hey skinny" would be funny. How do you even respond to that?! My husband got a text from an uncle telling me to "push that baby out, squeeeze that baby out".. so creepy! Still annoyed with another co- worker who must tell me how awful being a working mom is for my baby. ugh men!
Re: Stupid Sh!t People Say!
I had made a joke about how DH is slimming down while I'm getting bigger and bigger. Our neighbor starts trying to tell me "While you may be gaining weight because of the baby, I can tell you're actually losing body fat by eating so healthy."
Me: uh.. no, that is most definitely not the case, the losing fat part, or the eating "so healthy" part. But thanks, ha-ha.
Neighbor: No, really, you are. I can tell. Your upper arms look a lot more toned and your face isn't getting all puffy like some women get.
Me: "uuhhh.....ok...." (awkward silence)
Neighbor: Well anyways, what I'm trying to say is you look good.
Like, can you just stop talking about my body right now, please? And trying to mansplain to me what's going on with me as if you know better than I do? I am quite familiar with my own body and what's happening to it, and even if you're trying to give me some kind of compliment, it just creeps me out that you seem to be looking at my body and taking notes. And this guy is not a doctor, personal trainer or any other qualified person to form such an opinion. Just mind your own business.
I really wish I had been quick enough on my feet to respond "August. When are yours due?"
We have a lot of mutual clients, vendors, etc. and yesterday was a doozy. I saw a 60 something woman who is a work acquaintance.
It it started out with the innocuous, when are you due type questions, must be hot and uncomfortable, and moved into how for the baby's sake I need to make amends with my dad, because he's such a nice person. "What if something were to happen to him? You would regret it."
Wish I could have said the truth: Uh, no. He needs to make amends with me. He's a messed up alcoholic, who married a psycho a year after my mom died. (Happily married to my mom for 37 years).
Mind your own business and don't give me advice! People have no idea of personal relationships. She totally laid on the guilt and I don't need that.
I sometimes wish I had the balls to tell people the truth and not just smile through the BS.
I swear, some men just don't get it at all. This guy struggles to meet girls/date and I can see why -- he's not a bad person, but just wildly out of touch with women.
First off, I'm am neither for or against co-sleeping. We aren't planning on doing it it, but I don't knock those who do. My mom, however, is another story.
I casually mention during our daily phone call that a friend is finally weaning her almost 2 year old off of co-sleeping. I then make the comment that we could never co-sleep because both hubby and I are huge movers in our sleep and I'd be terrified one of us would injure the baby. She then proceeds to tell me that co-sleeping is illegal and my friends who practice it should be reported to CPS. I literally cannot make words for a good few seconds. I then proceed to tell her that I'm pretty sure it's not illegal. It's definitely frowned upon by the American Board of Pediatrics, but again, not illegal. I also informed her that I would not be reporting my friends to CPS for doing what they feel is right for their child. Thankfully our phone call ended almost immediately after this. She is one of those "I'm always right, even if I'm wrong" kind of people, so any further discussion would just be stressful for me.
I did, however, send her ample evidence to show that co-sleeping is, in fact, NOT illegal.
She was 17. I'm 31. Just... you know... pretty much double the age she was. Not that she didn't face other challenges because of her youth, but I know *my* body was a lot healthier at 17. I think from a purely physical sense this might have been easier 10 years ago...
I...hope...not?
The sweet thing then proceeded to talk my ear off. In my mind, I am all, lady, I need these pecan sandies like yesterday so please let me goooo.
@Allisun85 I had my first at 19, my second (now) at almost 30... there's a WORLD of difference... this pregnancy was much harder on my body, so your suspicions about MIL are probably correct!
@Allisun85
That's not fair!
@Stephanie7693
I'm comparing the difference between 29 and 34 and it feels big! Definitely was healthier and weighed less at 29. Boo.
He visited baby A last wknd and two things he said to me were:
1. Oh, you still look so swollen!
2. What if you get fired and end up not going back to work at all?
I pretended to be half asleep on the couch and covered my face with my hair just so he wouldn't see me making wtf faces (yes, more than one).
1. I am still in recovery mode you insensitive prick and am just getting around to taking care of myself.
2. That actually wouldn't happen realistically but thanks for bringing up my "think of the worst case scenarios" anxiety back up.
Some people...
I still kept thinking she would tell us she was joking, but instead she got so offended that I wasnt on board with this ludicrous idea.
First time during this whole pregnancy that I've seriously missed alcohol.
ETA: My best friend was EBF her baby the same time I was EBF DS. She had an emergency and had to be rushed to the hospital. I kept her son and with her permission, I nursed him that night. The next day she was home and able to resume nursing him. But the difference was that I was already lactating. It was an emergency. And she asked me to. But a grandmother purposefully planning something like this freaks me the hell out. End of rant. Thanks for letting me vent.
DD: Aug '16
10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero placenta surgery
11/2/17 Twin A & B born
11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
Benched 6 months
BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18 BO
BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18
Anyway... Thank you ladies for validating what I was feeling. I hoped I hadn't overreacted.