I'm afraid my shower on September 11 is going to be cutting it close (36 weeks). My friend went into labor and had her baby at week 35 and her shower was at week 36. She came to it but left the baby with her aunt. She was still exhausted and didn't have as much fun as she would have otherwise. After that experience, I'm totally ok with people having "early" showers!!
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@missteacherlady16 we got all of our nursery furniture from Ikea for our first so that's what we'll be using again. I love it. I just am not one to spend a lot of money on some things (wedding dress was same way- $200 as opposed to the thousands a few friends of mine spent). And not that you were complaining at all about it, but it's one of the top 5 cribs on consumer reports. The only reason it isn't considered a 'best buy' on there is because they make you buy their mattress because that's the only mattress that fits properly.
Oh maybe we're talking about different cribs? Back in June there was a 15% off sale, so the crib is normally $99 but I got it $85 (I put the wrong price down earlier). I just got our crib mattress (moonlight slumbers little dreamer) and it fits perfectly.
@Blonde1817- mine is the 20th and I did the same thing re: my hair. My dad owns a salon but took the day off for my shower. Thankfully he was super sweet and is coming in just to cut, color, and style my hair for me so at least I know that'll look good lol
@MRSCORKER it was killing me not to buy things off our registry too! I feel better about it now that we have furniture and a car seat though.... Like not getting the itch to make a BRU run daily lol
I'm sorry to hear of everyone's frustrations. Sometimes family can be really stressful!! Luckily my mom was fanastic with my shower but my MIL has been putting off planning the one for DH's family (we're having 2 showers because our families live 5 hours apart from each other). First I think she was upset that we wanted it to be coed because "no one does that around here" which isn't even true. We told her it can be a low key bbq at the house with outdoor games, etc. I think she put off planning because she wasn't happy about the coed thing or something, but she was completely silent on the matter for months and I had to have DH keep bugging her about it. Finally she started planning with less than 1 month to go, and sent the invites out with 3 weeks to go even though she knew that the family sucks at RSVPing and would need time to track everyone down. Plus a bunch of people are already busy of course. I don't get it. Oh well.
@missteacherlady16 yeah we actually are talking about different ones, but mine is just the next model up ($119 and it was on sale for me back then so the $100 seemed right). But my crib is the one on consumer reports and it really seems like the only different between mine and yours is mine has solid sides on the two ends. Either way, I love her crib. We also have the changing table that matches and the rocking chair that completed her nursery. No complaints at all!
Im glad to hear another mattress fit. It was a little bit of a pain with ikea's mattress because some crib sheets wouldn't fit and would make it kind of bow up a little.
So frustrating @LGW2015! The invites thing is what would stress me out the most (and did for my shower.) My mom gave people a month to plan for the shower but only 2 weeks to RSVP. So I'm likely going to be tracking people down as well, if they're coming at all bc it's summer.
As I'm reading through this thread, I notice that everyone is having one shower. Is it just a southern thing to have more than one shower?? Literally everyone I know has had at least 2 or 3. My friend who had her baby in May had 8. I'm having 4: one thrown by my best friend for just my girlfriends, one thrown by my SIL for DH's family, one thrown by my aunt for my family, and one thrown by our church.
I'm also concerned about how late most of mine will be. One is in August, but the other 3 are in September. I hope she doesn't decide to come early!
@CopperBoom86 It may be a southern thing? It was the same way with my bridal showers. I'm having 5 baby showers if you include both of our offices (DH office just buys one big gift and has lunch for us, my office is more of an actual shower). I split the family and friends here in town so it didn't turn into a huge number, so that added 2 more. Plus one in my hometown.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@ibabyloveb87 - It kind of makes us sound gift grabby lol, but it's totally the norm down here. As well as throwing showers for second, third, fourth (etc) babies.
It is a southern thing, but we have no family down here so that is why I am having one. And well since all of FI's family can't show up, it's really only a friend one. Haha
@CopperBoom86 I know for our wedding, I had 3 showers and while it was fun, it was so hard for me to find 3 weekends that I could block off for it. When my SIL offered to throw our shower, I told her I really only wanted to do 1, which meant it would be huge (mine and DH's family, our church, our "community", and our friends). She was on board but has recruited my other SIL and some friends to help.
Had I not requested that, I would probably have ended up with 4.
@CopperBoom86 I always just figured one shower was the way to go and to just invite everyone just like we did with the bridal shower. My Step-Mom actually asked me if I'm having more than one and I was confused. She thought I'd have one for her and my Dad's family, one of my Mom/Step-dads and a seperate one for friends. I had never heard of this before. I said no thanks, I'd rather just do one and invite everyone. Plus, I went away to college so most of my friends are scattered all over the country so that rules out a "friend shower". We usually throw an informal work shower for pregnant/expecting coworkers. It's usually just during lunch on a work day and nothing fancy so there is the possibility of that being a 2nd shower for me. Who knows!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@bnsmith85 - We're doing co-ed, too! (and ours is on the 20th, too! Shower buddies!) I just wanted more of a celebration, and I wanted my husband involved. Plus, my best friend is a guy, and I wanted my brother to be there, too...so, I was like, let's just make it open to everyone!
However, my mother is getting RSVPs from mainly just women - saying "I'll be there." I'm thinking I'm going to have to put out a PSA to all invitees or something, saying "we're bucking tradition - guys and gals all welcome!"
@CopperBoom86 I live up north and, at least in my area, it is very common to have two (one with each side of the family) and maybe even a third with work or just friends depending on the size of the families. However, it is still very uncommon to see showers for second babies. There is still the mentality that a shower is welcoming a woman into motherhood, which only happens once.
Edit to clarify: I could not care less if people have showers for second babies or their dogs or anything else really. I like parties.
@CopperBoom86 I got flamed sooo hard on my old BMB for discussing a shower during my 2nd pregnancy. But honestly, I had NO IDEA there was a "rule" to them... if somebody wants to throw you a shower of any form around here, you are having a shower! Or two. Or four. It's just how we do it... Who doesn't love a reason to celebrate something? Call me ignorant, but I most baffled because I didn't know baby showers were supposed to be about the mother, I thought they were to celebrate the baby... 'BABY shower'... understandably confused, I would say. I have since been schooled, but I wouldn't side eye anybody for having multiple showers, or showers for subsequent pregnancies, UNLESS they were throwing them themselves or asking for them. Consider this my confession and UO since I haven't had either to contribute this week!
@AllyTheKid Yeah when people offer I don't know how to politely decline! I would be afraid certain people would have their feelings hurt. Plus, I like a party for any reason! We typically throw "sprinkles" for people's 2nd babies and on. But it's essentially the same thing as a shower when it comes down to it.
Me:33 DH: 34 Married: May 2011 TTC #1: May 2015 DS: 10/20/2016 TTC #2: June 2019 #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
@ibabyloveb87 I think the rudeness of turning down an offered shower or sprinkle vastly exceeds the perceived tackiness of having multiple. Obviously, anybody who wants to throw you one and anybody who wants to attend and participate don't think it's wrong, so quite frankly, fuck what anybody else has to say about it.
That being said- I let everybody know when I announced this pregnancy not to try to throw anything. Not that I wouldn't appreciate it, but I literally have EVERYTHING I need. LO just turned one today, and all of his old stuff is being passed right on down to this one. We don't have space for new stuff anyway!
I honestly don't know enough people to have more than 1 shower lol
Now one of my friends, on the other hand, gave me a guest list of 75 people for her bridal shower (that I was hosting) this past spring. I actually recommended that she have a second shower or cut down the list - neither of which went over well.
@krzyriver My shower is also on the 21st! I'm definitely going to be huge lol, but I think this month is going to fly by and it'll be here before I know it. I also made sure I have a hair appointment that week so if I feel like a whale, at least I'll have nice hair lol.
Another for the 21st! They wanted to do it in September and I vetoed that real quick. I'm going to be HUGE and I don't want to wait that long to nest. Everyone keeps telling me not to buy anything until after the shower, it's killing me.
One of my friends made me feel like my shower is way too early for my due date (10/16 and the shower is 8/6). It was partially because of scheduling issues with my mom but also because I go back to teaching the end of August, and the beginning of the year is so hectic that I don't want to try and squeeze all the nesting into a few weekends. But I also thought I'd be bigger by now, so now I am having second thoughts, but what can I do about it at this point?
As for purchases...I've made some. Actually, we bought all the nursery furniture back in June (all in one Ikea trip). I figured there were other big items I'd rather put on a registry and I'm okay with $90 crib in lieu of a $500 crib. I have picked up some clothing and receiving blankets when I see a really good deal, but otherwise, I have to sit on my hands. The struggle has been real.
I agree with this. I hate passing up all the sales, because I have to wait till after the baby shower to purchase things!
We have most everything we need, except we don't have a carseat yet....and I'm hoping someone buys that off our registry.
@missteacherlady16, I don't think your shower is too early at all! You want to be comfortable when you have the shower. I can't imagine being all that comfortable around September.
I'm just having one big shower, all women b/c if it was coed it would be close to 100 people. I invited hubby's family (which is small) my huge family and friends.
Technically there is a work lunch/shower but that's like 8 people with only our department.
My girlfriend had a shower with 110 women!! She rented out the same hall as her wedding and had a 4 course meal. Her shower cost $10,000!! That's bananas!! Edit to add - she had more women at her shower than I did people at my wedding (including staff!!)
My SIL had 4 showers: her mom put one on for their family (plus my mom and self), my mom put one on for our family, her friend put one on for her friends and her work put one on.
The only reason why we're combining both sides of the family is hubby's family is small and introverts, where my family is huge and extroverts so by my mom planning and everyone coming, everyone wins. Hubby and I don't have a large circle of friends, so we invited them too, but sadly they've all declined. And I'm close with the people at work, they're hosting one for me.
My girlfriend had a shower with 110 women!! She rented out the same hall as her wedding and had a 4 course meal. Her shower cost $10,000!! That's bananas!! Edit to add - she had more women at her shower than I did people at my wedding (including staff!!)
My SIL had 4 showers: her mom put one on for their family (plus my mom and self), my mom put one on for our family, her friend put one on for her friends and her work put one on.
The only reason why we're combining both sides of the family is hubby's family is small and introverts, where my family is huge and extroverts so by my mom planning and everyone coming, everyone wins. Hubby and I don't have a large circle of friends, so we invited them too, but sadly they've all declined. And I'm close with the people at work, they're hosting one for me.
Girl 110??!?!?!?! This is insanity. That's way too much estrogen for one party.
My girlfriend had a shower with 110 women!! She rented out the same hall as her wedding and had a 4 course meal. Her shower cost $10,000!! That's bananas!! Edit to add - she had more women at her shower than I did people at my wedding (including staff!!)
My SIL had 4 showers: her mom put one on for their family (plus my mom and self), my mom put one on for our family, her friend put one on for her friends and her work put one on.
The only reason why we're combining both sides of the family is hubby's family is small and introverts, where my family is huge and extroverts so by my mom planning and everyone coming, everyone wins. Hubby and I don't have a large circle of friends, so we invited them too, but sadly they've all declined. And I'm close with the people at work, they're hosting one for me.
Girl 110??!?!?!?! This is insanity. That's way too much estrogen for one party.
This thread blew up this morning and I wasn't paying attention!
@AllyTheKid I do take bump pictures every week, but I don't care for pictures of me in general. Most candids that have been taken of me this pregnancy, I just look fat. Which depresses me because I lost 80lbs a few years ago, gained most of it back while TTGP, and packed the rest back on during pregnancy. So I don't know if I'll regret the lack of photos later or not, but right now definitely depress me. Which makes me sound like a bad person...
@annabenanna I definitely don't want any! I have put one up yet! I keep them to myself lol... I'm not hiding it but I just don't want people being like oh you look so big or other stupid stuff!
@krzyriver I'm such a type A planner too! It's killing me!!
As I'm reading through this thread, I notice that everyone is having one shower. Is it just a southern thing to have more than one shower?? Literally everyone I know has had at least 2 or 3. My friend who had her baby in May had 8. I'm having 4: one thrown by my best friend for just my girlfriends, one thrown by my SIL for DH's family, one thrown by my aunt for my family, and one thrown by our church.
I'm also concerned about how late most of mine will be. One is in August, but the other 3 are in September. I hope she doesn't decide to come early!
The only reason we're doing one is bc many of my friends are happy to make the 1.5hr drive to my home town for the shower. I also had my work people throw me one last time I was up in MD for a visit. I think more than one is normal
ETA- we'll likely have a 3rd, hosted by DH's work. They freakin love him lol
@AllyTheKid- I really don't mind when people have a shower for their second... Especially if it's of the opposite sex as your first. And also especially if the two are close together because you may still be using some stuff, like a crib. I threw one for my bestie who's also preggo, and with her second. She decided to make it a small casual get together, but I wouldn't have been bothered at all if she wanted a big formal shower. I'm surprised you got flamed for that tbh.
The dress I ordered from Pinkblush came today. It fits and even has some room to grow but I look like an actual circus tent in it. It's doing me zero favors. I'll still probably wear it out and about but I don't think I want to have a million pictures taken in it at my shower.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
@MRSCORKER... Do you think if you shortened it that you'd feel better about the shape? I've found that I feel like I'm wearing a tent more often when the dresses are long
The dress I ordered from Pinkblush came today. It fits and even has some room to grow but I look like an actual circus tent in it. It's doing me zero favors. I'll still probably wear it out and about but I don't think I want to have a million pictures taken in it at my shower.
Which one did you get @MRSCORKER? The two dresses I ordered from PinkBlush this week also came today....and I'm not sure how I feel about one of them
@MRSCORKER... Do you think if you shortened it that you'd feel better about the shape? I've found that I feel like I'm wearing a tent more often when the dresses are long
No, I don't like wearing short dresses/skirts. My legs have puffed out and I want to hide them. I need to stick with more form fitting clothes, the flowy stuff just makes me look much larger all around, not just the bump.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
It looks so cute in the pic @MRSCORKER! Are you thinking about ordering another dress for your shower? i'll help you look!
I'm not sure. I've found I feel best in a maxi skirt and top. I might look for a pretty top to go with my black maxi skirt. I'll look around and see. Thanks though!
Me: 32 & DH: 37
Married: November 2014
TTC #1 Since: October 2015
BFP #1: 11/18/15 - CP BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16 IT'S A BOY!!!! DS Born 10/16/16
My friends/family shower is September 10th. I will be gigantic and extremely uncomfortable by then, but my host was too busy in August to have it then. My office will probably throw me a shower, but nobody has talked to me about scheduling it yet. This is our second girl, but they will be 5 years apart and born in different seasons. We purchased new nursery furniture ourselves, so the only thing that we truly NEED is a new car seat.
Re: Baby Showers!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
eta: it's the hensvick crib
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
@MRSCORKER it was killing me not to buy things off our registry too! I feel better about it now that we have furniture and a car seat though.... Like not getting the itch to make a BRU run daily lol
Im glad to hear another mattress fit. It was a little bit of a pain with ikea's mattress because some crib sheets wouldn't fit and would make it kind of bow up a little.
And she's crazy... Coed is totally a thing
I'm also concerned about how late most of mine will be. One is in August, but the other 3 are in September. I hope she doesn't decide to come early!
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Why must the South do everything so differently?!
Had I not requested that, I would probably have ended up with 4.
Dating: 10/3/08 | Married: 12/27/14
TTC #1: August 2015 | BFP: 2/3/16 | EDD: 10/7/16
DD: 10/5/16
TTC #2: September 2017 | BFP: 4/28/18 | EDD: 1/7/19
DS: 1/9/19
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
However, my mother is getting RSVPs from mainly just women - saying "I'll be there." I'm thinking I'm going to have to put out a PSA to all invitees or something, saying "we're bucking tradition - guys and gals all welcome!"
Edit to clarify: I could not care less if people have showers for second babies or their dogs or anything else really. I like parties.
DH: 34
Married: May 2011
TTC #1: May 2015
DS: 10/20/2016
TTC #2: June 2019
#2 EDD: 2/20/2020
Now one of my friends, on the other hand, gave me a guest list of 75 people for her bridal shower (that I was hosting) this past spring. I actually recommended that she have a second shower or cut down the list - neither of which went over well.
TTC #1 - Nov '14
DS born 10/18
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
We have most everything we need, except we don't have a carseat yet....and I'm hoping someone buys that off our registry.
@missteacherlady16, I don't think your shower is too early at all! You want to be comfortable when you have the shower. I can't imagine being all that comfortable around September.
Technically there is a work lunch/shower but that's like 8 people with only our department.
My SIL had 4 showers: her mom put one on for their family (plus my mom and self), my mom put one on for our family, her friend put one on for her friends and her work put one on.
The only reason why we're combining both sides of the family is hubby's family is small and introverts, where my family is huge and extroverts so by my mom planning and everyone coming, everyone wins. Hubby and I don't have a large circle of friends, so we invited them too, but sadly they've all declined. And I'm close with the people at work, they're hosting one for me.
Me: 28 DH: 27
@AllyTheKid I do take bump pictures every week, but I don't care for pictures of me in general. Most candids that have been taken of me this pregnancy, I just look fat. Which depresses me because I lost 80lbs a few years ago, gained most of it back while TTGP, and packed the rest back on during pregnancy. So I don't know if I'll regret the lack of photos later or not, but right now definitely depress me. Which makes me sound like a bad person...
@krzyriver I'm such a type A planner too! It's killing me!!
ETA- we'll likely have a 3rd, hosted by DH's work. They freakin love him lol
@AllyTheKid- I really don't mind when people have a shower for their second... Especially if it's of the opposite sex as your first. And also especially if the two are close together because you may still be using some stuff, like a crib. I threw one for my bestie who's also preggo, and with her second. She decided to make it a small casual get together, but I wouldn't have been bothered at all if she wanted a big formal shower. I'm surprised you got flamed for that tbh.
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16
Me: 32 & DH: 37
BFP #2: 2/8/16 - EDD 10/20/16
IT'S A BOY!!!!
DS Born 10/16/16