And the naming pressure from MIL has begun. She's mostly been so great, but concluded a phone conversation last night by saying I should "really honor my father" by using his name as a middle name for a boy. Her deceased father shares the same name. Honestly? It's a nice name and it might have been in the running, but not if you pressure me like that. I was only able to deflect her by saying (falsely) that I "feel like it's a girl."
Plan to keep name a secret until birth has been officially confirmed!
I envy those who can keep names a secret.
I think I'll just keep saying that we haven't decided yet.
And the naming pressure from MIL has begun. She's mostly been so great, but concluded a phone conversation last night by saying I should "really honor my father" by using his name as a middle name for a boy. Her deceased father shares the same name. Honestly? It's a nice name and it might have been in the running, but not if you pressure me like that. I was only able to deflect her by saying (falsely) that I "feel like it's a girl."
Plan to keep name a secret until birth has been officially confirmed!
I envy those who can keep names a secret.
I think I'll just keep saying that we haven't decided yet.
Family and friends have already started throwing out names our way. We too, have no intention of revealing the name until birth. We're not interested in knowing before hand if folks like it or hate it!
************* First BFP: 12/16/13 EDD: 08/23/14 Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
1. DH told his family yesterday; they were all super happy, and they've already started saying, I hope it's a boy! 2. MIL asked him to text the US pic over, and has already asked if she can come to the next US. 3. Just got my $2,600 OB bill in the mail this week.
1. DH told his family yesterday; they were all super happy, and they've already started saying, I hope it's a boy! 2. MIL asked him to text the US pic over, and has already asked if she can come to the next US. 3. Just got my $2,600 OB bill in the mail this week.
Yay for happy! Boo for sex pressure and OB bills. Is that an advance bill for your whole experience or just for what you've done so far? I still haven't gotten mine, but I can see on my insurance website that they're putting in the charges as we go.
@BumpasaurusRex I agree. I think MIL just killed a middle name we were actually considering. "You should really honor your father?" What gall! My family doesn't even have a naming tradition and my dad would likely be awkward about it.
@Xstatic3333 that's my portion of the whole thing. It's not too much or a surprise, because it's basically my deductible. But still, seeing it on paper was a, "This is really happening!" Moment.
DH's youngest brother was the one hoping for a boy... he means well, I think. There are a lot of women in the family. I'm more concerned about MIL and the US thing. We are all sorts of not that close.
@Xstatic3333 that's my portion of the whole thing. It's not too much or a surprise, because it's basically my deductible. But still, seeing it on paper was a, "This is really happening!" Moment.
DH's youngest brother was the one hoping for a boy... he means well, I think. There are a lot of women in the family. I'm more concerned about MIL and the US thing. We are all sorts of not that close.
I would tell her no. For me, at least, nobody but H will be at any medical part of this. You could always fib and say it's office policy or something.
@WinchesterGirl eep! I would not want either of my MILs in the room. One of them has asked me to describe the u/s experience after I have had it o.O Um. No, thank you. I agree with what @Xstatic3333 said and just say no. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries - always easier said than done, I'll admit. Your pregnancy is not for her, and you need to do you!
And the naming pressure from MIL has begun. She's mostly been so great, but concluded a phone conversation last night by saying I should "really honor my father" by using his name as a middle name for a boy. Her deceased father shares the same name. Honestly? It's a nice name and it might have been in the running, but not if you pressure me like that. I was only able to deflect her by saying (falsely) that I "feel like it's a girl."
Plan to keep name a secret until birth has been officially confirmed!
I envy those who can keep names a secret.
I think I'll just keep saying that we haven't decided yet.
We have a boy name picked out (and have for a while) but can't seem to agree on a girl name. We decided to table the discussion until after we know the sex. I can't believe how quickly people started to ask about names, though. They seem to be asking "have you thought about names?" right now, but I suspect that'll transition to "have you picked a name?" My answer so far has been a pointed "yes." With a clear full stop at the end. It seems to get the message across that I don't want to discuss it. If someone happens to not get the hint and prods further, I suspect I'll very simply say, "no."
Talk about boy pressure.... My mom had 3 girls. My sister had 3 girls. I had a girl. That side is DYING for a boy! H's family is majority boys so there's hope!
@WinchesterGirl no way no how on the ultrasound. I don't even want my mom at the ultrasounds. For me (and this may be because it's my first), but I like the idea of keeping this something personal for DH and I. I know it's their grandkid, but I've already had to remind my parents that this isn't their kid (they cannot for the life of them understand why I won't just put it on facebook already).
I think for names we are going to share initials until the baby is in the world. I'm in the south and we love a monogram so I want to be able to do that, but I don't give a flying shit what anyone thinks about the actual name.
I think I'm probably going to say no. It's still pretty early and I am just really not comfortable. I also think this sets the tone for the, "no one but DH and I in the delivery room" conversation later on.
ETA: just saw the delivery room thread, so moving convo of that over there.
I work as a manager for a pretty large medical practice (I am one of 4 managers, but the other three are general office managers and I am the financial manager). We rotate locations based on need, but since I do the financial and don't oversee the administrative staff or clinical staff I am often in an off site location just doing the numbers. About two months ago one of the billing technicians complained about me, and nobody told me until Monday because apparently he was getting more and more frustrated and now hates his job. I'm a little annoyed they didn't tell me he was upset right away so I could modify my behavior accordingly and instead just let him be upset so that it boiled to this point. He called out sick today, so my boss is freaking out and readjusted the whole schedule because she thinks he's not really sick and he just called out cause he's looking for a new job. Then she thinks that him quitting will cause all the other billing technicians to quit. So, part of her readjusting tomorrow's schedule was to have me work at the front desk. Except, we're not even a little understaffed so there's absolutely zero need for me to be at the front desk.
I called the doctor to tell her this and she basically told me the practice is spiraling into a cluster f*** and I'm the sole reason to blame. I'm so pissed cause I barely work with the billing tech who is upset with me (like one day a week if that), so him quitting because of me would be a stretch and because since when did my job become so unimportant that I can waste my day doing the work someone who is three levels below me should be doing? I'd understand if there's a need and I'd be happy to jump in if there was a need, but there isn't so this is just bullshit.
I am so mad I want just walk out, but looking for a job while pregnant is not ideal.
Basically since I started dating my now husband, his family told me "we only have boys." On the male side of the family, they've only had boys as far back as they can track, so they can't imagine having a girl.
Now his brother has three girls. With the first girl, everyone was very "neutral colors, no pink or frilly", but now that they are on girl #3, it's all pink and frilly.
So I don't know if they are going to go back to the "we need a boy argument" or if they will play it cool.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32 TTC Since 11/2015 #1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
Talk about boy pressure.... My mom had 3 girls. My sister had 3 girls. I had a girl. That side is DYING for a boy! H's family is majority boys so there's hope!
My cousin, my sister, my SIL and me all had boys and I'm having another boy.. PENIII EVERYWHERE
Talk about boy pressure.... My mom had 3 girls. My sister had 3 girls. I had a girl. That side is DYING for a boy! H's family is majority boys so there's hope!
My cousin, my sister, my SIL and me all had boys and I'm having another boy.. PENIII EVERYWHERE
Talk about boy pressure.... My mom had 3 girls. My sister had 3 girls. I had a girl. That side is DYING for a boy! H's family is majority boys so there's hope!
My cousin, my sister, my SIL and me all had boys and I'm having another boy.. PENIII EVERYWHERE
That's awful, @MrsDramaK. I would be so furious as well. Did they ever give you a chance to respond to his complaint or tell your side of the story?
Basically, when my boss told me about it on Monday, the consensus was he was being way oversensitive and I had no reason to think he'd take anything I said in such a negative way based on past conversations. But today, he called out so now they're afraid he's going to quit and all hell broke loose.
I've scheduled the genetic counselor visit (NIPT), NT ultrasound and anatomy scan.
Regular OB visits are scheduled one at a time, but those three are done through the perinatal testing unit and they like to get all three on the books at the same time. I wanted to do the NIPT test the day I turn 10 weeks, so I booked them all right after my 8 week OB appointment.
That's awful, @MrsDramaK. I would be so furious as well. Did they ever give you a chance to respond to his complaint or tell your side of the story?
Basically, when my boss told me about it on Monday, the consensus was he was being way oversensitive and I had no reason to think he'd take anything I said in such a negative way based on past conversations. But today, he called out so now they're afraid he's going to quit and all hell broke loose.
That's awful, @MrsDramaK. I would be so furious as well. Did they ever give you a chance to respond to his complaint or tell your side of the story?
Basically, when my boss told me about it on Monday, the consensus was he was being way oversensitive and I had no reason to think he'd take anything I said in such a negative way based on past conversations. But today, he called out so now they're afraid he's going to quit and all hell broke loose.
That's total crap. I'm sorry.
I have a weekly meeting with my boss' boss every Friday so I'm going to bring it up with her then. I think the whole thing was handled poorly from day one and if it had been handled differently then it never would have gotten to this point. Honestly, I don't even know if I want to stay on with this job after I have the baby cause I work 50-60 hours on an average week and I think that'll be insane with a newborn, but I'd have liked the next 7-8 months to go smoothly. They're also not obligated to hire me back after I give birth cause our company is currently under 50 employees, so FMLA doesn't even protect my job.
@Gingersnap They don't know I'm pregnant, but my boss is aware that DH and I are actively trying because I found out about my miscarriage while I was at work and she essentially forced me to tell her why I couldn't stop crying. In the year that I've been working here 3 women have left to have children, zero were hired back afterwards. I would like to wait until 16 weeks to tell them so I'm trying to hold out for 8 more weeks.
@Gingersnap They don't know I'm pregnant, but my boss is aware that DH and I are actively trying because I found out about my miscarriage while I was at work and she essentially forced me to tell her why I couldn't stop crying. In the year that I've been working here 3 women have left to have children, zero were hired back afterwards. I would like to wait until 16 weeks to tell them so I'm trying to hold out for 8 more weeks.
Wow. Companies that don't even make a good faith attempt to hold a spot for women who give birth absolutely infuriate me. I hope all goes well at your meeting, such a crappy situation.
So it's not like they are trying to force you out for being KU.
They know I'm trying and they're pretty anti-new mom around here and I've been leaving early and coming in late for a lot of non-specific doctors appointment (3 blood draws, one doctor's visit and an ultrasound in the last five weeks), so while it's not confirmed they might suspect. I think they could be trying to push me out before I confirm it because once I confirm it things get a whole lot trickier on their end, but again this is just speculation.
So it's not like they are trying to force you out for being KU.
They know I'm trying and they're pretty anti-new mom around here and I've been leaving early and coming in late for a lot of non-specific doctors appointment (3 blood draws, one doctor's visit and an ultrasound in the last five weeks), so while it's not confirmed they might suspect. I think they could be trying to push me out before I confirm it because once I confirm it things get a whole lot trickier on their end, but again this is just speculation.
I want to punch them. That is so, so not okay in this day and age.
@Xstatic3333 Honestly of the three they didn't hire back, one I truly understood why because she was a nightmare for years and it was never going to get better. The other two I think it's unfair they lost their jobs for wanting a family (one didn't even really want a family she got pregnant unintentionally and wanted to do the right thing). It's a rough environment and the extra stress isn't really welcome right now.
All you new Instapot owners are making the RIGHT choice. I love mine, and just got it a couple months ago for $100, not $70. Oh well. We use it constantly, so i don't care.
My random is that I stayed home this morning "to get work done" while my husband took our toddler to visit the grandparents. Instead, I napped for 2 hours, ate pizza, and watched reruns of The Office. They're going to be home in 15 minutes and I'm gearing up to look like I've been productive.
Well. My Inlaws just found out we are expecting a baby from my mother.
My mom meant to text me about how excited she is to help out once the new baby is here. She accidentally sent it to my MIL instead. We were waiting to tell my Inlaws for another few weeks when they came to visit.
I was really looking forward to having a little more time without them texting me and getting all up in my business about it.
Well. My Inlaws just found out we are expecting a baby from my mother.
My mom meant to text me about how excited she is to help out once the new baby is here. She accidentally sent it to my MIL instead. We were waiting to tell my Inlaws for another few weeks when they came to visit.
I was really looking forward to having a little more time without them texting me and getting all up in my business about it.
UGH......
Oh no!!! How did you find out? Did your mom tell you or the ILs?
@FishyMom as soon as my mom sent the text she realized her mistake. She called us right away and apologized.
My husband said his parents are out to dinner so they may not have seen the message yet, but I expect they will be calling him soon.
I would be more bummed if roles were reversed and my parents found out from his parents (but in no universe would I tell his family before telling mine).
@tentacular I'm rewatching the office and started crying when Pam and Jim finally got it together. My SO looked at me crazy and I was just all "they're meant to beeeeee". I've seen the show before. So, yeah.
Re: Weekly Randoms (7/11)
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I I know it's completely unreasonable but I can't even think of a lifetime of hearing "oh I got to choose LOs name/I had a say!"
You got to name your kid. Please leave me to name mine, thanks.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
1. DH told his family yesterday; they were all super happy, and they've already started saying, I hope it's a boy!
2. MIL asked him to text the US pic over, and has already asked if she can come to the next US.
3. Just got my $2,600 OB bill in the mail this week.
@BumpasaurusRex I agree. I think MIL just killed a middle name we were actually considering. "You should really honor your father?" What gall! My family doesn't even have a naming tradition and my dad would likely be awkward about it.
Edit: Misuse of gender
DH's youngest brother was the one hoping for a boy... he means well, I think. There are a lot of women in the family. I'm more concerned about MIL and the US thing. We are all sorts of not that close.
________________________________________________________
Started TTC #1 November 2015
BFP 6/10/2016 - EDD 2/22/2017
My mom had 3 girls. My sister had 3 girls. I had a girl.
That side is DYING for a boy!
H's family is majority boys so there's hope!
I think for names we are going to share initials until the baby is in the world. I'm in the south and we love a monogram so I want to be able to do that, but I don't give a flying shit what anyone thinks about the actual name.
I think I'm probably going to say no. It's still pretty early and I am just really not comfortable. I also think this sets the tone for the, "no one but DH and I in the delivery room" conversation later on.
ETA: just saw the delivery room thread, so moving convo of that over there.
That at is a recipe you'll want to memorize ^
I work as a manager for a pretty large medical practice (I am one of 4 managers, but the other three are general office managers and I am the financial manager). We rotate locations based on need, but since I do the financial and don't oversee the administrative staff or clinical staff I am often in an off site location just doing the numbers. About two months ago one of the billing technicians complained about me, and nobody told me until Monday because apparently he was getting more and more frustrated and now hates his job. I'm a little annoyed they didn't tell me he was upset right away so I could modify my behavior accordingly and instead just let him be upset so that it boiled to this point. He called out sick today, so my boss is freaking out and readjusted the whole schedule because she thinks he's not really sick and he just called out cause he's looking for a new job. Then she thinks that him quitting will cause all the other billing technicians to quit. So, part of her readjusting tomorrow's schedule was to have me work at the front desk. Except, we're not even a little understaffed so there's absolutely zero need for me to be at the front desk.
I called the doctor to tell her this and she basically told me the practice is spiraling into a cluster f*** and I'm the sole reason to blame. I'm so pissed cause I barely work with the billing tech who is upset with me (like one day a week if that), so him quitting because of me would be a stretch and because since when did my job become so unimportant that I can waste my day doing the work someone who is three levels below me should be doing? I'd understand if there's a need and I'd be happy to jump in if there was a need, but there isn't so this is just bullshit.
I am so mad I want just walk out, but looking for a job while pregnant is not ideal.
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
Basically since I started dating my now husband, his family told me "we only have boys." On the male side of the family, they've only had boys as far back as they can track, so they can't imagine having a girl.
Now his brother has three girls. With the first girl, everyone was very "neutral colors, no pink or frilly", but now that they are on girl #3, it's all pink and frilly.
So I don't know if they are going to go back to the "we need a boy argument" or if they will play it cool.
** December BMB Siggy Challenge - Animals in Pools **
Me: 31+ H: 32
TTC Since 11/2015
#1 - MMC 6.5 weeks (2/16); #2 - MC due to cystic hygroma at 20 weeks (10/16); #3 CP (2/17); #4 - Due 12.16.17
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
Regular OB visits are scheduled one at a time, but those three are done through the perinatal testing unit and they like to get all three on the books at the same time. I wanted to do the NIPT test the day I turn 10 weeks, so I booked them all right after my 8 week OB appointment.
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
@Gingersnap They don't know I'm pregnant, but my boss is aware that DH and I are actively trying because I found out about my miscarriage while I was at work and she essentially forced me to tell her why I couldn't stop crying. In the year that I've been working here 3 women have left to have children, zero were hired back afterwards. I would like to wait until 16 weeks to tell them so I'm trying to hold out for 8 more weeks.
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
TTC since January 2016
BFP - 3/12/16 - MC 4/5/16
BFP - 6/11/16
My random is that I stayed home this morning "to get work done" while my husband took our toddler to visit the grandparents. Instead, I napped for 2 hours, ate pizza, and watched reruns of The Office. They're going to be home in 15 minutes and I'm gearing up to look like I've been productive.
Just wondering if they fit true to size. This is my second baby, so I know how maternity clothes fits generally. Thanks!
My mom meant to text me about how excited she is to help out once the new baby is here. She accidentally sent it to my MIL instead. We were waiting to tell my Inlaws for another few weeks when they came to visit.
I was really looking forward to having a little more time without them texting me and getting all up in my business about it.
UGH......
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
My husband said his parents are out to dinner so they may not have seen the message yet, but I expect they will be calling him soon.
I would be more bummed if roles were reversed and my parents found out from his parents (but in no universe would I tell his family before telling mine).
^^A man describes his ideas of what morning sickness is and it is the truest thing I've ever read.
Why DO we have to breathe?