Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breastfeeding Support
So the only reason to ever pump & dump is if you've overdone it, or for some other reason cannot nurse and you're engorged - then pump for comfort. The alcohol will clear your milk at the same rate as it clears your system.
Also, https://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/lifestyle/alcohol/
Cheers!
Not complaining (much) but hoping there will be a time when she needs less time breast feeding. Born on the 10th so about 2 1/2 weeks old.
Is it a shallow latch that she's doing? A tip I read which helped me was when you grab your breast to feed them, put your thumb on the tip area where you want her nose to touch and your index finger where you want her chin and pinch so that it is closer to the shape of her mouth. Wait for her to open wide like a yawn then place her quick on the breast. You should feel her nose and chin on your fingers and don't let go until she starts to suckle for a minute then let go. Her lips should be flanged like fish lips.
I was previously also pumping after every feed for the nipple simulation and to keep supply up (LC advice because of the nipple shield) and was so thankful when that got cut back to just twice a day. Between feeding and pumping that felt like all I was doing!!
Oh that's a good idea. That way you don't put to much in the bottle and waste any milk.
Fever and chills no but lumpy? Oh yeah. It felt so odd when they were engorged. I felt the Lumos more near the top where there is less fat and if I pressed on them I would leak.
Anyone else giving a bottle or 2 a day have ideas on how to avoid this gassy grunt fest? DH burped her well afterwards, but she still had gas. We're using slow flow natural avent nipples and bottles.
We use the same bottles like once a day as well. Making sure no air gets to the nipple is the most important part. DS gets fussy a lot anyway so we haven't noticed a difference. But dh is also way better at burping than me.
Icing and sports bras helped me
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
So now I'm wondering if I should try to scale back the amount of formula he's getting. His jaundice is gone and he's gaining weight. I'm going to ask my midwife on Tuesday, but I'm feeling some trepidation about reducing the formula supplements. I'm even wondering if we should increase the amount he's getting now that he's bigger. I guess I just don't trust myself to make enough milk for him to be completely bf.
Maybe try for a day and count wet diapers. As long as there are enough diapers and the color is pale yellow then you should be fine. Babies using formula tend to gain weight faster anyway because of the extra stuff they add to it so I wouldn't say you need to increase at all. The only time I would think you'd need to add more is of there is no weight gain. Ask your midwife what she thinks about maybe doing a trail run for a couple days and see if he is losing/gaining.
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
Baby #2 Due 3/7/20
I have breast pumped after feeding & nothing comes out hopeless mom trying not to give up
DS-7