Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Newborn/Postpartum Thread
How is everyone doing emotionally? Anyone suffering from baby blues, anxiety or maybe something more? I was hit with a pretty bad case of the baby blues about six days in and it lasted almost a week. I cried almost nonstop a couple of those days and it was really hard for my husband to know how to support me, especially when I couldn't articulate why I was so upset. Luckily that has passed and things are good. I figured hormones would be wacky afterwards but wasn't expecting that fog of sad emotions to overtake me.
Wacky hormones + lack of sleep + no quiet time make the first newborn weeks really rough. Routines and rest are ahead.
Breastfeeding- I second the EMAB nipple butter (plus it's safe for babies so you don't have to worry about wiping), but I've also been rubbing some breastmilk onto my nipples and letting them dry out. Bamboobies are also the softest things ever and feel great on my poor tired nipples. His latch is good (though it still hurts when he latches on the actual feeding doesn't hurt anymore), but he's doing this thing the past few days where he latches on with my help and then pops off, smiles, bats at my nipple a bit, and then tries to re-latch. His re-latch HURTS sometimes, but I'm struggling to keep him from playing with my nipple and just keep the latch I help him with. I'm also in the 7-10 day growth spurt with cluster feeding right now, which means I'm not doing anything but nursing. Thankfully he's stretched his nighttime feeds to 3 hours, so at least I'm getting some sleep.
PP body- I've been pleasantly surprised by how good my body has been feeling. My midwife insisted I not do stairs for the first week, which meant I had a whole week to lay in bed and nurse and heal. It was kind of incredible, and I highly recommend it to everyone. Let people feed you and take care of you and you focus on healing and feeding your baby. My husband has been pretty insistent on me taking it easy, and I'm not pushing back. Birth is hard fucking work and I know I'll come out the other side more whole if I give myself a break now. Also, I kind of forgot that I would have absolutely no ab muscles on the other side of that big pregnant belly.
Ok sounds like I need to work with some expression after. Sounds good! Last night was night one at home and we didn't get here until about 8pm. So we're still finding our routine I guess you can say.
I have to admit I have never been much of a newborn fan prior to her. But I must say, I'm pretty obsessed. I'm trying not to be "that" new mom on FB but we're just so in love with her it's hard to imagine anyone else couldn't be too!!! Lol
PP body.. I had a really hard time gaining weight while I was pregnant. Everything is in my belly though. Anybody know how long the flabby belly sticks around?
Engorgement is the worst. I've been using warm washcloths and massage to help before a feeding so she can latch, and the lactation consultant recommended ice after a feeding, so we will try that next time! May have to try the tea bag trick though!
July16 JULY siggy challenge
For those dealing with engorgement- I had great luck with the cabbage leaves. I know they can lead to a decreased supply if you overuse them but I followed LLL/KellyMom guidelines and stuck them in my bra for 20 minutes twice over a 24 hour period and the difference was amazing. I think pumping and BFing together really screwed up my newly developing supply.
@abpl2014 aw I am so sad to hear about your day. I know how emotionally torn you were in the first place! I am glad your doctor is taking things seriously and helping. You are a great mama to Henry and I am in awe of your patience. Hang in there- the end is hopefully in sight!
To chime in on the engorgement...I hope none of you get plugged milk ducts! I don't wish that upon anyone! It really sucked! Took a week to fully get better! So I know the pain it is not fun! But stick with it!
We went to a check up today, and everything was perfect - Ari has gained weight back, eats well (the appointment was at the breastfeeding clinic and they had me feed him there, weighed before and after), etc. BUT his temperature was low... So we're in the NICU
I had a complete and utter meltdown and snuggled him so much when I fed him last, and am gonna snuggle him so much when I feed him again... This whole motherhood thing is so crazy.
they are owiiieee again!
@abpl2014 so proud of you for recognizing you needed help and getting it! You are doing amazing and anyone would have the same reactions in that situation. Fingers crossed Henry's feeds get better soon for you guys!
@rakel88 hopefully it's nothing major and you get to go home soon!
@Schmooie730 who knew feeding a baby could be so heart wrenching, right? Glad some formula helped! Hang in there!!